You are a pickle.
Not pickle rick for once.
yes just an ordinary pickle.
but not just any ordinary old pickle.
you are a living pickle... no, The living pickle.
No The Pickle.
Back story Time
A disturbance in space time caused by the celeryjack video turned you into a living celery thus began;
The Celeronomicon
Granny smith is sitting on her favourite celery shaped chair, holding a very peculiar celery coloured book, which all will soon come to know and address as the Celeronomicon.
She was midway through reading Applebloom her favourite celery time story;
It was about a celery who was sentenced to the most inhuman punishment ever "death by human", Those evil humans will eat anything.
You are celery... about to be eaten by a filthy, evil, vile human, celerykind looked down on humans because of their uncouth and barbaric behavior, yet here you are about to be eaten by one.
You lived a long and vegitful life so you had no regrets.
-The human reached down to pick you up.-
If you had eyes you would have closed them in sadness as you waited expectantly for the humans hand to grab your long, hard, stalk and put between their succulent lips, as you succumb to their vegetarian charms...
Your questionable fantasy is instantly dashed to the rocks as you hear the human grab a knife from the table, and starts to bring it close to you... this human was a cutterman (ie: humans who like their celery in bloody pieces.)
Before you can say "flap jacks" snack jack(Applejack) flies in from the window, breaks the glass and knocks out the human. saving you from your bittersweet fate.
But of course, celerykind hated snackkind even more than they spited humans and literally everything else they hated which was everything by the way... but not you, you were the only celery who apreciated snackkind and who believd that one day, just one day snackkind and the rest of your bretheren will make up, this twist or kind of character change will be singled out by critics who will read your biography and marvel at it bestowing upon you the title of Celery the beneviolent.
who are you kidding, you hate snackjack just as much as the next celery, maybe even more considering that the celery closest to you was celeryshy, she was rumored to have been adopted by the celerestia when she was but just a stalk.
'Twinkie partner' said snackjack.
that did it, snack refrences were frouned upon in Celeryland.
En Garde Snack.
(cue fight scene).
Back story Time
It was just another day at the snacks section in the supermarket...
I'm bored" said snackjack with her face planted backwards on her spot on the isle, the lazy store clerks never cared for her isle anymore since all snack companies went on a production halt, she was busy considering thefuture of her, and her parents right before a vegetarian couple with a family celery in their cart took her parents, leaving her sad, alone, and dejected as the screams of her parents, and the laughs of the Celery Consisently faded away as they left the shop.
"Honey, i feel like we just made war between two nations" said the guy.
"Oh, honey"
From that day onward she swore enmity between snackkind and celerykind.
Meanwhile in our universe...
"you saved my life!" you told snackjack, as you struck a blow for celerykind.
"we must fight" said Applejack right before she dodges your blow and starts spitting snacks at you.
Meanwhile in Equestria...
Turns out spike can't read well but can write just fine.
So owlishous took it upon itself to teach him how to read like a true dragon would...(shut up).
"Why is this a subplot?" asks Twilight unamusedly watching the travesty in front of her, which, mind you is a masterpiece if ever there was one in existence.
"it just doesn't make any sense" she pressed after no mysterious voice from the sky replied to her question.
Meanwhile I.O.U. (seriously I don't.)
After a fierce battle of snacks and stalks, Snackjack finally beat you in mostly fair vegi to snack combat.
Apparently people liked snacks more than celery... and as per Celeria's decree and by Snackkind tradition, any celery or snack who looses to a snack or celery must be exiled to Equestria for all of Eternity.
Therefore you had to be exiled to Equestria.
You are the first snack to be exiled to Equestria since this decree was passed... does that say anything about your luck? of course not.
Day 1 (In Equestria).
As soon as you appeared in a celery stall in Ponyville you fell asleep, since the celeportation took a toll on celery who used it this was a common side effect.
You are Fluttershy, and on your way to the Ponyville market to buy ingredients for Angel's last supper; literally.
Yesterday you sold Angel to some Underground Rabbit Wrestling Organization run by rabbits, or the URWROR for short, and they were going to come get him today.
So this was literally his last overpriced meal. After today you would never have to patronize those mean sales ponies in the market ever again.
Sure, you hated to see angel go just like that but you needed the money you would save. right?... well, wrong.
you had more money than you knew what to do with, so why did you sell angel? you pondered this thought as you absentmindedly bought all your required ingredients including a very peculiar celery.
You are celery. again.
You have been eaten.
You go to heaven. no. wait.
Equestria doesn't have a heaven... so.
Where do ponies go to when they die?... probably Tartarus.
Speaking of Tartarus, you get to finally discover why everyone is so eager to escape it... but that's a story for another day.
Meanwhile... EXTRAS
The Fate Of Snackjack
After the prosecution of Celeryjack for Celerynocide, Life in Ponyville was returning back to normal, but there was one thing they failed to realize.
And that was the Celery who was sleeping in a stall in Ponyville's marketplace, who will wake up one day, and when She does...
there was one thing they failed to realize.
And that was the Celery who was sleeping in a stall in Ponyville's marketplace, who will wake up one day, and when he does...
who will wake up one day, and when She does...
and when he does...
She does...
Equestria's time loop will be reset. Once Again.
The end? or The beginning?
"I'm pretty sure it's the end", says Grandma Smith as she instantly falls asleep to the fact that someday Celerestia's mightiest hero may rise again.
THE END, OR IS... i'll stop now.
"zzz" replied Applebloom as Applejack tucked her into bed.
