Heroes travels

After their visit to Sugarcube Corner, Callum and Ashley went to visit Twilight to set their plan in motion.

Step one: Persuasion.

Both humans approached the door, Callum knocking his fist against it. The clopping of hooves on the wooden floor inside could be heard coming towards the door before it swung open. The lavender unicorn stood in the doorway.

“Hey Twi, I need a favour.” Callum asked.

“Sure Callum.” She noticed Ashley standing nearby “Oh hey Ash, are you feeling okay?”

“Feelin’ pretty good Twi, thanks for asking.”

“Good to know.” She smiled, stepping to the side of the doorway “Come on in. Applejack was talking to me about what she was told earlier.”

Both humans entered the library, greeted by Applejack with her Stetson in front of her on the ground, smiling towards them both. Both humans found it odd to see Applejack without her Stetson on, Spike walked in from the kitchen with a tray that had three mugs of what looked like tea although one of them filled the room with the fresh smell of coffee.

“Hey Spike.” Ashley waved towards the purple dragon.

Setting the tray down near Applejack, both humans noticed the pink apron he was wearing. Spike noticed their staring and quickly tried to ditch the apron.

“Nice apron Spike, sporting the manliest colour I see?” Ashley laughed a bit, getting a smile from the dragon.

“Hey Ash and Cal, when was pink manly?”

“When wasn’t it manly?” Ashley countered. Callum merely rolled his eyes with a smile.

“Good point.” Spike smirked, putting the apron back on.

Twilight couldn’t help but be entertained by the conversation, same with Applejack. Twilight took a seat next to the orange mare and levitated the cup of tea to her lips to take a sip. She let out a refreshed “Ahhh” After she swallowed the hot beverage. She smiled towards Callum before speaking.

“So what was it you need Callum?”

“Oh right,” He pulled out a rolled up piece of paper “I was wondering if you could send this to princess Celestia for me?”

“Sure. Spike can send it to her instantly, what is it about anyway?”

“Just a report.” Callum lied. It was in fact the first step for their plan.

“Alright then. Spike can you do the honours?”

“Sure thing Twi. Pass the letter here Cal.” Spike said as he reached out for the letter. Callum happily gave it to him, watching as the paper was engulfed in the dragon’s signature green flame.

“That’s still pretty cool how you do that Spike.”

“Thanks.” He grabbed the mug of coffee, take a large sip.

“So.” Applejack spoke up “How’d it go at Neon’s?”

“Good. We work there on Friday nights. She wants us to check out the place on Saturday.” Callum replied, getting an idea almost instantly “Do they serve alcohol there?”

“Yes. Is that a problem?” Twilight asked. Both humans noticed that she sometimes replies with questions but they shrugged it off, thinking that it was part of her nature since she adores learning new things.

“Actually it makes the situation a WHOLE lot better.” Callum grinned, Ashley on the other hand knew that Callum was going to get hammered on that night. “I think that we should all go there on Saturday. This week had been stressful and I think we could all go for a night of partying.”

“Not really partying for me, more like chilling out with a cold whiskey.” Ashley laughed a bit, his face turning to one of deep thought “We need to find out what liquor they have there. They better have whisky or at least vodka. God help them if they don’t have vodka.”

“Ah’m pretty sure they do.” Applejack said reassuringly “Ain’t that the stuff that looks like water but burns on the way down?”

“Sounds about right.” Callum added.

“Excellent!” Ashley exclaimed “We must go comrade! and drink until we are blind! And then drink some more!” He wrapped an arm over his friends should with a Russian accent.

“Save your enthusiasm for when the time comes Ash.” Callum laughed as he removed his friend’s arm of him.

“Ah’m willin’ to take part on Saturday. How about you Twilight?”

“Mmmmaybe.” The lavender unicorn replied “I doubt I’ll be drinking alcohol though.”

“Aww come on Twi!” Callum pleaded “I wanna see you let your hair down and get-“

“Callum, she said no for crying out loud.” Ashley said in an amused tone “You should respect her decision if she doesn’t want to drink.” He noticed Callum glare at him but he gave him a smug look to show that he enjoyed shooting down his friend’s request.

“Thank you Ashley.” Twilight smiled, taking another sip of her drink.

“So A.J.” Ashley said, grabbing the attention of the blond mare “Who else likes to drink?”

“Well let’s see here…” She brought a hoof to her chin and began pondering “R.D. likes to try and beat me in drinkin’ contests, Rarity likes to drink her wine, Pinkie…Ah don’t even know how that pony consumes so much without even bein’ the tiniest bit tipsy. Fluttershy don’t drink at all but she likes to help us stagger home.”

“Reminds you of our drinkin’ days don’t it Ash?”

“Sort of.” Ashley smiled “If one of them through the middle of the town in a chicken costume being chased by a guy dressed up as the Colonel then, yes it does bring back fond memories.”

“Weren’t my fault that guy didn’t want my ‘Chicken nuggets’.” Callum winked, Both humans started to recall the memory as they started to laugh at it.

“What are you two even on about?” Twilight asked.

“You don’t wanna know.” Ashley replied as they both started to stifle their laughter.

Location: Canterlot Castle, Princess Celestia’s private quarters

Celestia was preparing the necessary items for her prank on Ashley, having thought up of some excellent jokes she could pull but the only problem was executing the plans. She spent most of her time cooped up in her private quarters.

Most ponies would think that running a country would be hard work but ever since Luna was released from the Nightmare’s grasp, she was able to split royal duties with her sister once more, allowing her more free time but the stress still remained.  She was always stressed but when in the presence of others, she would stay calm and collected until she was alone. She tried many methods of relaxation, ranging from meditation to playing tricks on Blueblood (To which she had to stop since he grew his suspicions it was her doing it...And that he was taking out his frustration on her subjects.)

She let out a sigh of frustration which echoed in the empty room. She laid herself on her bed as she tried to relax. She took a deep breath as a letter appeared in front of her. Landing on her chest, she sat up as she levitated the letter, opening it out to read it...

Dear Princess Celestia

I would like to treat you to one of my family’s traditions which, basically is a massage. I’m sure that running a country can be very stressful and demanding.

Back on my planet, I was taught how to perform excellent massages at a young age and this has helped me later in life as well. The tradition of my family goes back centuries as it used to relieve the stress of those we are very fond of. I’m sure that during your lifespan that you have had many massages but only had massages with hooves. My hands will be able to get into the joints and perform a more thorough massage...

*

Celestia pondered at his request. She hadn’t had a massage in a few decades and even so, those didn’t relieve much stress since hooves couldn’t get into hard to reach areas like the joints and deep into the muscles. She put a lot of trust into Callum and began to think that this was to help show some of his appreciation for the solar princess. She continued to read the letter.

*

I have had a lot of positive feedback from those I used it on back on my planet and I’d feel honoured if you allow me do perform this task to show you some of my appreciation for doing everything you have for Ashley and I so far. I can talk to you about some of my family’s traditions and other things from my world, answer any question you want to ask. Let it be about my personal affairs or my past.

Just send your reply via Spike as soon as possible.

From your human guard and hopefully your friend, Callum. D. Thomson.

*

Celestia stared at the letter. Being able to learn more about the human would be very interesting, especially to learn some of his traditions and some of his past. The massage would also do well for her. She levitated a piece of parchment and a quill dipped in ink, sending her approval for the task. As she finished, the letter disappeared with a quiet “poof” and a small light. A small smile found its way onto her face as she sent the letter.

*

It has been a few minutes since the letter Spike sent. The ponies, humans and baby dragon were discussing what happened this morning. Twilight was obviously freaking out a bit on the inside about the whole “You and Celestia” joke Ashley made. She laughed at the joke and denied his claim, saying that the sun goddess is like a mother to her.

Spike beat his chest with his stomach, forcing out a loud belch which was followed by a piece of parchment  appearing from the green flame that spewed from his mouth. He opened it and began to read it to the group (Callum said that he could if he wanted.)

Spike coughed a couple of times before speaking “Dear Callum. I accept your request to show me some of your family’s traditions and shall meet you in an hour. As you claimed, yes it is very stressful to maintain an entire country even with the help of my sister and I could use some relaxation. From her royal highness, Princess Celestia.” Spike gave the parchment to Callum who skimmed over it with his eyes, a beaming smile grew on his face.

“Traditions?” Twilight asked “What traditions?”

Folding the letter into a reasonable size to fit into his pocket “Oh nothing too big. Just a massage to show the princess some of my appreciation for doing so much for us.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow “Really?”

“Yep. Oh and I said she could ask me some questions if she feels like it.”

“What’s so special about yer massage?” Applejack asked.

“Simple.” Callum replied, raising his hands as he wiggled his fingers “I have these.”

“So?”

“Better at massages than hooves since I can get harder to reach places like joints and my hands are soft compared to hooves so they wouldn’t hurt much.”

“Ah see.” Applejack smiled “Y’all should go to the spa to speak to Lotus and her sister. Ah’m sure that they’d let ya do the massage there.”

“Good idea. Where is it?”

“Come on, Ah’ll show ya.” She stood up, flicking her Stetson onto her head from the ground. Ashley was impressed from the tactic. “Ah’d like to stretch mah legs anyways.” She turned towards Spike and Twilight “Y’all comin’ with?”

“No thanks Applejack. Spike and I are going to see Rarity now.” The lavender unicorn replied. Both humans noticed Spike eagerly run towards the door.

“Come on Twi!” He shouted as he burst through the door, hightailing it towards the fashionista’s home.

“I guess that’s my cue to leave.” Twilight giggled as they all left her home. Waving goodbye to the lavender mare, Applejack and the humans began their journey to the spa.

*

It took them a while but they were successful, While Callum was talking to the twins who ran the relaxation center. They were more than happy to comply to his needs since it was royalty that was going to be in THEIR spa. Well...They basically fainted from when the request and it took a lot of shaking and yelling from Callum and Applejack to wake the both up.

Ashley went to Sugarcube corner (By which I mean he banged on the door with his fist, refusing to enter the bakery since it made him feel sick.) Pinkie answered and gave him a small bottle of oil for the massage. The liquid was clear as the bottle was a faint yellow colour. Pinkie whispered into his ear what the oil does which made him smile evilly. She ushered him away from the bakery (to which he was more than happy to do) to avoid suspicion. He started to walk his way towards the spa with the bottle concealed up his hoods sleeve.

Walking into the building, he saw Callum, Applejack and the spa ponies prepping the area with a single table, curtains were drawn to make the room dark except only one curtain was still open to allow him to find the perfect spot to place candles.

Both humans began to discuss what was going to happen but had to say their plan in Russian since they were still in the presence of the spa ponies and Applejack.

“What in the hay are y’all tryin’ to say? Sounds like a bunch of gibberish.” Applejack asked in a concerned voice. Both humans turned to the mare

“We’re speaking in Russian.” Callum explained “The language of our enemies back homes. We’re discussing very important matters.”

“Well alright then.” Applejack smiled, heading towards the door “Good luck on yer massage thingy with the princess.”

“See ya A.J. Thanks for helping out.” Callum said with a smile, waving off the orange mare.

“We’ll leave you and the princess to have the spa to yourselves.” Lotus said as both herself and her sister exited the building

“Thanks for letting me do it here!” Callum yelled out, turning back to Ashley.

“So.” Ashley spoke, handing over his robe to Callum “Shall we?”

“Let’s do this!” Both humans high fived, grinning like madmen as Callum drew the last curtains closed, setting the candles on fire with a match. The room was poorly lit (As planned), Ashley hid in one of the closest, keeping the door open slightly so he could exit it quietly when needed and to see when Callum would gesture for him.

*

Step two: Execution...

Callum had put on Ashley’s robe without the hood over his head, arms crossed. He watched as ponies would bow down to the solar princess as she approached him. She had a small smile on her face as he watched her, returning the smile himself. He bowed to the princess as he moved to the side to allow her access to the spa.

Ponies were curious of what they were both doing (It was inevitable that some thought they were going to be doing...*ahem* the dirty deed since they both got on well with each other.), some would try to get a look through the windows but the curtains covered their vision and even so, the room was too dark for them to see.

Celestia looked around inside the building. The heavenly light scent of vanilla filled the room as the candles lit the room. Vanilla was one of her favourite scents. How Callum knew this, she had no idea.

Callum shut the door, cracking his knuckles and neck “Shall we begin?”

Celestia giggled “Yes. What are you going to massage?”

“Well, your jaw joints, wings, shoulders and back would be the best bet. It is human tradition to never look at the masseuse until the massage is done or until they say so, okay?”

“That is splendid. I look forward to learning more about traditions from your world.”

Now here’s the thing. Callum’s family does not have any of these traditions so he and Ashley decided to use traditions from other cultures on earth. Throw in something they think of on the spot as well. Celestia wouldn’t know anything about them for obvious reasons and was more than happy to comply. She set herself on the table, wings folded.

“Sorry.” He adjusted himself to Celestia’s face “You won’t be able to speak for this part since I’m doing your jaw to begin with.”

Celestia nodded, closing her eyes to let Callum get to work. She felt his fingertips search for her jaw joints, once he found them he applied a small amount of pressure to them. His soft fingers ran through her coat as they worked their magic on her jaw.

Ashley was waiting in a nearby closet, watching his friend massage the sun goddess’ jaw. Soon... he thought to himself, holding the bottle of oil in his pocket.

Celestia was impressed by Callum, being able to massage a hard to reach area that she thought wouldn’t be considered a point to massage. Her jaw muscles felt relaxed.

“You can talk now.” Callum said quietly, preparing to massage her shoulders. He tapped on his leg twice without making a sound, signalling Ashley for the switch.

Ashley nodded, slowly opening the door without a sound. His boots were silent as he walked up to his companion...

“Where did you study your massaging technique Callum?” Celestia asked, both humans froze in place.

“I studied in a country called Japan. Beautiful scenery but learning their language was hard. I could barely even say a complete sentence so I stuck with a translator for my studies.” He lied, knowing that he took up the massages to impress girls before they had ‘fun’.

“Did you enjoy your time there?”

“Oh of course.” He silently took off the robe, passing it towards Ashley to put on. “Their culture is amazing. For example, when you enter someone’s home, you have to take of your shoes. I thought that it shows the homeowner that you respect them and their household.” He watched as Ashley put the hood over his face, none of his facial features being visible. He gave a thumbs up before Ashley gave him the bottle to hold “I loved the food there as well, things like sushi, noodles and a bunch of things I wouldn’t normally eat but done anyways for the experience.” lying again. He never went to Japan.

“Sounds fun.” Celestia replied happily “Have you been to any other places on your planet?”

“I’ve been around quite a lot. Before I can say any more, can you unfurl your left wing?”

Celestia complied and unfurled the large wing, its feathers shimmered a small amount from the candle light. Both humans nodded to one another as Ashley cracked his knuckles, stroking the bone of the wing as he applied slightly more pressure to each stroke.

Callum stood close by to make sure that his voice didn’t seem distant so Celestia wouldn’t grow suspicious. “I went to this country called Australia. Full of exotic animals such as koala bears, crocodiles, alligators and rare types of insects. My personal favourite pastime while I was there was watching nature from a distance. But then I got bored and partied like mad.” Callum chuckled, getting a small laugh from Celestia as well. This answer was partly true. The partying part being the truth since he didn’t really bother with the wild life at all.

“So I’m guessing you’re a party animal?”

“You could say that…Actually looking back, you’re right. I must say Celestia, your wings are amazing. Their so soft and beautiful.”

“Thank you for the compliment Callum. This massage is turning out to be very enjoyable.” She said calmly.

Ashley gave the pointed towards the other wing. Callum understood and spoke to Celestia.

“That’s that wing done, time for the other one.” Both humans watched the princess unfurl her other wing, Ashley walked around the table (behind Celestia to avoid being noticed) and began to use the similar technique he used previously.

The massage of the wing went on for a few minutes, the both noticed that Celestia practically melted on the table from the massage. If that didn’t sell it, then the slightly noticeable “Mmmm.” She made when Ashley started on her lower neck confirmed it. He pressed his thumbs gently into the neck and rubbed them in a circular motion across her fur.

“You’re really talented at this Callum.” Celestia spoke quietly but very calmly, as if she was at the perfect amount of peacefulness. She felt she could fall asleep to the humans touch but then she wouldn’t be able to ask more questions, forcing herself to keep awake.

“Thanks. I must say Celestia, your coat if quite…looked after, soft to the touch like your feathers. How do you keep it like this?”

“It’s my secret.” She replied playfully “So, do you have a special somepony back on earth waiting for you?”

“Nope.” Callum said happily. “Never really wanted to get in full on relationships. Didn’t want girls to be heartbroken if I died in combat so I stuck to having one night stands when Ash and I went clubbing.”

“I see. Why would you do that to those girls though?”

“I’m not always the one who initiated them type of things Celestia. I did sometimes but both me and the girl would be drunk so we didn’t really remember who started it and we didn’t really care.”

“I see. Can you start on my shoulders now?”

“Of course.” Callum spoke, Ashley immediately went to work on her shoulders.  He looked towards Callum and pointed to the bottle in his hand “Okay Celestia, I need your consent for this next part.”

“Go on…” She replied, she started to worry slightly as thoughts raced through her head. Was he going to massage her flank?

“My family uses a specially made oil which soothes muscles quickly and loosens them. It also makes a great shampoo. I’m asking if it is okay if I am able to use it on you.”

“Oh…Uh…Sure Callum.” She replied, mentally sighing in relief. She heard the bottle’s cap flick open with a small *click*.

Callum passed the bottle to Ash who poured some onto his hands.  The oil smelt like sugar, Ashley started to feel sick in his stomach as the smell ran through his nose. He had come to far now to back down now. So much planning had to been put into this so he tried his best to suck it up.

I’ll vomit later He thought to himself as he started to get to work on Celestia shoulders with the oil. He watched as her coat started to change color, spreading over her body by itself as he worked it into her luxurious coat.

“Oh~ Right there.” Celestia cooed. Ashley was feeling REALLY awkward and this didn’t help the nausea he was feeling from the scent of the oil. He could see Callum barely being able to laugh from her moans of pleasure. Ashley frowned in his direction as he put slightly more pressure onto the spot Celestia requested.

Both of Celestia’s wings unfurled and hung in the air, as did her limbs. The sheer amount of pleasure from the massage was obvious since she kept giving off compliments and moaning. Ashley’s face was beet red from embarrassment. Callum was about ready to burst before Ashley gave him the familiar ‘okay’ hand gesture. Callum nodded and opened a curtain and back window quietly, on the other side, Pinkie was waiting with an object covered in a small cloth. Making it unseeable to everyone. The both nodded when Callum closed the window, Pinkie hid in a nearby bush…

Step three: Add the surprise and run…

Ashley was still kneading into Celestia’s back. Her moans were still making it very uncomfortable. He doubted that she even realised how much noise she was making. It wasn’t loud enough to hear through the walls but being a silent, dark room just made it seem louder. Callum removed the rag off the item, Ashley reached out for it with one hand with a beaming smile.

“Oh and Celestia, I have one thing to say…” Callum said.

“Hmm?” She seemed to be in a trance of pure relaxation and calmness “What is it?”

“Do you like bananas?”

“I…I don’t see why asking that is appropriate…” Her eyes opened slowly as she was breaking out of the trance, she couldn’t see the colour change to her coat.

“Oh...It’s just something Ashley wanted me to ask you while he was doing something…” Callum responded with a grin.

“What was he doing?” Celestia asked, her voice changed from a calm tone to one riddled with worry.

“Massaging you…” Ashley spoke, Celestia’s eyes shot wide open. She realised it was a trap but it was too late. Ashley smashed the item onto her head as he and Callum darted out of the spa.

“CHEESE IT!” Ashley yelled with his laughter.

“What the!?” Celestia quickly got off the table, using her horn to generate some light as she looked into a nearby mirror.

Her coat…Her beautiful, pure white coat…

It was pink…

She looked at the item on her head that Ashley smashed onto, It was a pie…Part of the baked desert’s insides rolled down onto her lips. She licked her lips, instantly realising the flavour of pie…

“Wait...Is this...BANANA CREAM PIE!?” Her voice exploded into the sheer volume of the Royal Canterlot voice, the whole town looked towards the spa’s direction and saw the humans running, barely able to keep themselves from falling over from their laughing fit.

Celestia burst out into the open, Callum and Ashley looked back to see Celestia charging after them, styling her pink coat. Pinkie Pie was laughing her head off as she snuck back to Sugarcube corner.

“GET BACK HERE!” The pink sun goddess screamed in her RCV. The sheer amount of anger was visible since her mane had pretty much turned into a large fire at this point.

Twilight, Rarity and Spike went outside of Carousel boutique to see what the commotion was. All they saw were the two humans running straight pass them, switching between their rapid breathing and their laughter. Behind them, they all saw Celestia running straight after them with her fire mane. Twilight, in all her years of knowing the princess had never seen this side of her.

They all admitted though...

She does look quite good in pink.

The humans were still running, ponies would immediately get out of their way when they saw the princess running after them. Royal guards were dumbfounded to what was going on.

The humans ran behind Sugarcube Corner to catch their breath.

“I think it worked.” Ashley panted with a smile, holding his hand up for a high five.

“Well executed *pant* if I say so *pant* myself.” Callum smacked his hand against Ashley’s for the high five. Both slumped against the wall to rest.

“Guys, in here!” A voice came from nearby. Both humans looked around to see Pinkie popping her head out the window. Both humans quickly climbed inside (Ashley using his sleeve to block the smell of course, he was a bit nauseous from earlier).

It took them a minute or so to get their breathing back to normal, they peeped their heads out one of the windows and saw royal guards scattering, checking alleyways and dumpsters for the humans. Celestia, Twilight, Fluttershy, Spike, Rarity and Applejack were all looking for the culprits to the prank. Rainbow Dash appeared from upstairs.

“So how’d it go?” The cyan mare asked.

“Just look outside for yourself.” Ashley responded, gesturing to the window.

Rainbow immediately looked out the window, seeing a infuriated pink Celestia with bits of pie in her coat. She couldn’t help but laugh. Pinkie joined in the laughter while the humans went upstairs. They knew that Twilight and the others would ask for Pinkie and Rainbow to help look for them.

“You two did the plan perfectly.” Pinkie said with a smile but then turned serious “Celestia will try to out do you so prepare yourselves. Callum has now been notified as a target for assisting you Ash. Be very cautious, I’ll update you later for your next hit.” She winked as she bounced downstairs.

Celestia wondered how the humans knew not one, but two of her most hated things. Maybe she underestimated the humans capabilities. Now knowing that getting allies will be the most beneficial to her victory...

Don’t think this is over yet Ashley...Let’s just say you’re in for a big surprise... She laughed to herself quietly as the guards and the majority of the element bearers were still on the search for the pranksters. She could already smell the scent of victory...And it smelt like banana cream pie

Well there you go. Have one of the pranks. I know I promised to have them all in one chapter but I decided that focusing a whole chapter on a prank would do much better. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and got a few laughs from it, I know I did.