The Harmony Thief

by DamagedQ

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Romance, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy, Adventure, Shining Armor, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 23566

You attempt to steal the Elements of Harmony... there are some minor complications.

(Second person POV) (Romance) (Comedy) (Adventure)
You try to steal the Elements of Harmony as your final heist so you can retire and end your career in thievery; however, it takes an unexpected turn for the worse when you're caught red-handed by none other than Princess Celestia. You must help the princesses in their everyday tasks as well as part of a work-release program while you make a plan to escape. The only challenge is deciding whether you really want to escape or not...

Published 2012-07-23 18:44:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-31 03:58:04 UTC

Chapter 1

You’re sitting in a dark room, standing over two large figures, which were lying on the ground, motionless. You cry out in anguish several times, trying to call the figures attention, but to no avail. They remained on the ground, lifeless, showing no expression despite your efforts. Your surroundings were all colored black and white, as if you were on some sort of gray-scale, except for one thing.

The thick, sticky, dark red liquid that formed a puddle underneath the two figures stood out against the light gray floor. The puddle was slowly growing and growing, eventually to the point where you thought you might drown in it, but you were suddenly transported back to the nightmarish, colorless room. You leaned down to one figure and put your hoof on his shoulder. Your father. You then turned to the mare, still sobbing, and rolled her over to see her face. Your mother.

You didn’t know how to react. You simply lie down and sob, your parents dried blood matting your coat, and eventually find solace as sleep crept up on you, taking you by surprise and rendering you unconscious, where you knew you would later wake up in a hospital. Like you always did…

You sit up in bed, gasping for air. You had woken in cold sweat, having had the same dream that you had at least once every week since the incident, when you were a small colt. However, you were never aware that you were dreaming… until you woke up panting, of course. This, your troubled past, was your only weakness.

Yea right! I have no weakness!, you thought cockily.

Celestia’s sun peeked at you though the window, conveniently reminding you that today was the day. Today was the day that you would stake out the royal castle in Canterlot, and then break in when night falls. You wasted no time getting up and out of the house, heading towards Canterlot, which was just northeast of Ponyville. However, Canterlot was high up, built into the side of a cliff, so you made your way there via chariot.

You are now approaching the castle, watching carefully from the outside. The sun was placed directly above you and it beat down hard on your head and back. You walked around to what apparently was the garden, located on the side of the castle. No signs were present that denied admittance inside, but no pony else was in there, so you weren’t sure whether you were allowed there or not. You didn’t care. You could talk your way out of anything, and this is the side of the castle from which you were going to enter that night anyways. You had never been inside, but you’ve studied diagrams, and you knew where the elements were. They are your target.

You continued to walk for a while before looking up at the castle wall. You located the window that you planned on breaking in through. If everything went as planned, no one would know you ever came in the castle in the first place, and judging by how often the elements of harmony were used, you would probably be able to sell them and get rid of anything connecting them to you before anypony even realized they were gone. It was now about five o’clock, and the sun painted streaks of orange and purple as it set, slowly waning out of view. You wait a few minutes as it sets before getting started.

You carefully and quietly ease your way to the window. Once there, you peer through, seeing what appears to be the basement, which means you’re in the right place. From what you’ve seen, the only way to do this is to start at the basement level and work your way up to Celestia’s room in one of the highest towers. It was going to take all night, but it was worth it.

You carefully slide your way through the window, making no noise. You walk towards the door that leads to a staircase leading upwards, but before you could touch the door, it flew open. It caught you off guard, but you managed to put your back up against the wall behind the door, staying just out of view. A guard walked in, pushing a cart of what appeared to be laundry. He was whistling with his eyes closed, paying no attention to your existence.

You crept behind him, making sure his back was still to you, and tip-toed out of the door, making sure to leave it as he did: wide open. You quietly make your way up the stairs and turn into the hallway. From all the preparing you had done, you were pretty familiar with the castle, even though you had never actually been inside. You turn left and head towards the spiral staircase just down the hall. According to the diagrams, you could take this all the way up to the hallway where Celestia’s room was.

You walked up to the lofty staircase. Murals and fancy-looking curtains lined the walls of the hallway, giving it an upscale, ‘royal’ look. Knowing that if someone caught you from behind now there would be no escape, that thrill of stealing that you hadn’t felt in years was coming back. As you approach what seems to be about halfway up the staircase, you hear loud hoofsteps at the top, quickly descending. In a panic, you silently but quickly make your way down the staircase backwards. As you awkwardly backpedaled down the stairs, you glance over your shoulder and then back up to your unknowing pursuer.

Once you reached the bottom, you had no choice but to step back into the basement and let the guard pass. You dive back into the basement and watch as the guard walks in front of the door and passes, not noticing you.

“Are all the guards this stupid?” you whisper to yourself in a mix of frustration and laughter.

“Ahem.”

You whirl around at the sound of a pony clearing his throat ungratefully, only to be face to face with the guard from earlier. He says nothing but growls at you before launching himself in your direction. You barely evade his attack and he belly flops on to the floor with an audible ‘oof.’ You quickly pick up the nearest object, which was a detached pipe on the floor, and bash him over the head with it.

Almost instinctively, you drag his unconscious body across the floor and flip him into the laundry cart, which was now empty. He must’ve completed his task because no laundry was in it any longer. You then mimic your actions from before, once again tackling the long, monotonous, spiral staircase. This time, there was no interruption.

You’re now in a more elegant looking hallway, which seems dimmer, as if it were closer to the heart of the castle, and walk along it close to the wall, your target being at the end of the hallway. You kept your ears perked up and your eyes wide as you walked, getting as close to hypervigilant as you could on purpose, just in case anypony tried to step out of one of the many other rooms in the hallway leading up to Celestia’s room.

You then reached your target room. This was the riskiest part of your heist. You needed to open the door and hope to God that no pony else was in there, especially Celestia, whose room this was. A light sweat breaks on your forehead and you feel the familiar thrill again as you slowly turn the knob and let the door slowly creek open. You peer in and take a deep sigh of relief as you see no pony in the room.

You walk in hastily and shut the door behind you. You spot your sub-target, the safe, which contained your overall target, the elements of harmony. Wasting no time, you take out the stethoscope stashed in your jacket and get to cracking the safe. It didn’t take long. You were surprised at the simplicity of the safe, especially one that was located in the room of the ruler of Equestria, but you weren’t complaining.

You held your breath as the safe opened to reveal six elements of harmony, oddly enough in the form of jewelry and other accessories. Whatever… you began placing them in your saddlebag. You ended with the tiara; it caught your attention as the most beautiful thing in there. You don’t know why, but you picked it up and stared at it for a while.

Stop staring and hurry up! Before somepony-

“What do you think you’re doing?” came the familiar, calm yet demanding voice from behind you.

So bucking close…

Chapter 2

“What do you think you’re doing?”

So bucking close…

Your blood ran ice cold and your mane stood on end. You could feel the blood rushing out of your face as you turned pale. Every muscle in your body tensed up; you couldn’t move.

No! This was the worst possible outcome! She’s gonna put me in the dungeon for sure! You’ve heard stories about the dungeon. You’ve had friends that got put in the dungeon. You didn’t like the dungeon.

You slowly turned around, fearing what you might see, although, you weren’t surprised in the least when you saw Princess Celestia glaring at you. You’re heart sank and you dropped the tiara that you were holding in your teeth and it made a sharp ‘clang’ as it hit the floor. She spoke once again.

“Well?” You simply stared at her, speechless. For once in a long time, you felt that writhing, uncomfortable feeling of fear.

“I-I… I, umm…” you stutter before becoming silent again. You felt pitiful. You weren’t used to stealing items of such high-importance, and you definitely weren’t used to getting caught, not to mention red-handed.

“Guards!” she yells, making you jump a little. Almost instantly, two guards rush the through the door with the obvious intent to apprehend you. They succeed. They tie your hooves behind your back and Celestia steps to the side to allow the guards to escort you out. You could hardly walk with your two front hooves bound behind you, but you leaned on the guards for support, which only allowed them to lead you more easily. You exit the room with the guards and they lead you back down to the ground level of the castle.

“Where are we-?”

“Shut up,” one of them responds tersely before you finish.

“Absolutely, your highness,” you spit back sarcastically. The guards ignore you and continue to lead you down yet another staircase and into a large, dank room. It was dimmer and colder than the rest of the castle, and you knew exactly where you were.

… the dungeon.

“Wait here,” one of the guards orders emotionlessly as they both practically toss you into what appears to be a holding cell. You sit down on a bench sticking out of the wall. It seemed rather clean for a dungeon, but you weren’t complaining. The only light source available was the dim, morning sun filtering through the barred window at the end of the cell opposite to the door. You start to doze off, leaning your head against the back wall.

“Wake up!” yells a commanding voice. You’re still half asleep, but you wake up in an instant as a hoof meets your face, creating a ‘smack’ that echoes through the empty cell. You try to put a hoof to your face, but you’re stopped by the rope that still binds them behind your back.

“What the hay!?” you complain, opening your eyes. Your anger quickly turns to shock as you see the princess of the night directly in front of you. Two guards stood just outside the doorway, apparently ready to intervene of something went out of the princess’s control. You couldn’t tell if they were the same guards that brought you here or not. To you, they were visibly indistinguishable.

“Wh-what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be off doing princess stuff or whatever?”

“First of all, don’t talk unless I give you permission,” she replies succinctly. “Second, this is one of my duties in the castle: deciding what to do with filth like you.”

“Filth? I would hardly say that-”

“I said don’t talk,” she interrupts you. Her horn begins to glow. You’re suddenly gagged with some sort of magic and can no longer talk. You squirm in your seat, trying to get your hooves free in a futile attempt to remove the uncomfortable feeling in your mouth preventing you from speaking. “That’s better,” she decides. The calm, uninterested tone in her voice continues to irritate you, but you can’t do anything about it.

“So you tried to steal the elements of harmony?” she continues. “That sounds like something worthy of capital punishment, does it not?” A worried look forms on your face and you try to protest, but to no avail.

Why did I even try this!? I was completely unprepared!, you think to yourself in a panic.

“I am going to let you speak, and then I want you to tell me your story.” You give her a confused look and she elaborates. “Tell me where you’re from, who you are, and why you did what you did.” She ungags you and you cough for a moment before looking up at her. You hope that she can relate to your life and have some mercy, but you doubt she’ll understand at all. Hopelessly, you begin.

“I live in the outskirts of Ponyville,” you start cautiously. “I’ve, umm… stolen all my life. It’s kinda like a profession, I guess.” You look at her and expect her to be mildly repulsed, but her unchanging expression yields no answers. “My parents died when I was younger, and when you have to take care of yourself as a colt, the easiest thing to do is take from others,” you continue shakily. “I’ve done this all my life, so this is the only thing that I can make a living off of. I was hoping that if I pulled off something like this, I could make a massive amount of bits and be set for life. Then I would never have to steal again.”

“Who were you planning on selling it to?” she asks, making you think.

“I don’t really know,” you admit. “But I’m sure it wouldn’t be much of a problem finding someone.”

“Exactly. Don’t you think anyone that would want to buy them from you would want to use them to do something evil? Like stealing the throne or destroying Equestria?” the last part she added catches you by surprise. Honestly, you hadn’t thought of that, but you realize that she’s probably right. “Well?”

“Y-yes, I suppose,” you reply sheepishly.

“Well, despite how ill thought out this was, your intentions don’t seem to be absolutely horrific, so I think I might cut you somewhat of a deal. My sister and I have requested a new personal servant, but no pony has come yet. You could work as our servant until we have decided that you have learned your lesson.” She stares at you, still expressionless. You consider it. It’s in an interesting prospect at the worst.

“What’s the… alternative?” you ask, more out of curiosity than considering declining her offer.

"I suppose you could live down here for the next few decades,” she says thoughtfully, seemingly pondering the prospect.

“N-no! I mean… I’ll take the first option please.” A sly grin touches the corners of the princess’s mouth as you are frightened. It creeps you out a little and you remain silent.

“That’s what I thought,” she responds before ordering the guards to untie the ropes behind your back. You sigh in relief as you stand on your own hooves for the first time in a while. Suddenly, the drowsiness from lack of sleep hits you. You must’ve gotten about one or two hours, but you figure that now isn’t a good time to complain about that. Princess Luna leads you out of the dungeon with the guards close at either side of you.

You reach the top of the stairs just behind the princess and proceed down the same hallway you have four times now. At this point it almost seems familiar; although, with the lights turned on, you can see more clearly the murals and elaborate décor on the walls. Eventually, you reach the end of the hallway.

The guards at your sides abandon you and race in front of the princess. They swing the large doors outward and allow admittance into what you think might be the throne room. Your suspicions are confirmed as you advance forward, just behind the princess, and see two thrones at the other end of a large, rectangular room, one being occupied by the Princess of the Sun. One throne was white and gold, and the other purple and black, both about equal in grandeur. The rest of the room was decorated much like the hallway on a much larger scale, except for the large stained glass windows that lined it from front to back. Luna gives a slight bow before sitting atop her own large throne, leaving you alone on the floor.

You hesitate before bowing grudgingly. The last thing you wanted to do was show your capturers something that could be considered respect, but you figure you wouldn’t benefit from directly disobeying them. You look up and stare at the princesses blankly, waiting for one of them to say something.

“I see you’ve offered him the position,” Celestia speculates.

“Indeed, and we don’t even have to pay him,” she jests, probably attempting to irk you.

“We might as well make use of him. What is your name?” she asks, turning her attention towards you once again. You vacillate for a moment before revealing your name. She raises an eyebrow at you. “Well, that’s an interesting name,” she comments. “So, -. Go fetch me a glass of water,” she orders, calling you by your name.

‘Go fetch’? Am I a dog now?

“Go down the hallway and take the third right," she continues. "That’s the kitchen. I assume you already know how to fix a glass of water,” she says distastefully to you.

“A refresher always helps,” you reply patronizingly. “Could you be so kind as to remind me?” She pauses before responding.

“I find your lack of respect disturbing. We can always put you back in the dungeon,” she says in a matter of fact tone. At those last two words, you straighten up and try to find the words to reply.

“My apologies, your majesty,” you say with a slight bow before hastily making your way out of the room. You think freely once you enter the familiar hallway. You assume it’s used as a kind of center point with several other rooms connected to it. Guards and other castle inhabitants passed and stared at you at you walked down the hallway towards the kitchen.

Eventually, you reach the kitchen following the princess’s instructions. You enter into a busy room with white tiles on the floors and walls and ponies bustling around every which way to get where they need to go. No pony seems to notice you except for one. A light brown earth pony with a short, blonde mane quickly shimmies his way through the crowd and approaches you. Your instinct as a thief tells you to run, but you merely shuffle your hooves indecisively before he reaches you.

“Who are you?” he demands.

“Oh, umm… I’m -,” you reply, stating your name. You quickly recount your time at the castle, summing it up in about twenty seconds, and hoping that he doesn’t hear many of the details.

“Wait, so you tried to steal something and got caught, and now you’re working off your punishment as the princesses’ personal servant, and Princess Celestia wants a glass of water?” he asks rather loudly, calling the attention of most of the other ponies in the room. They seemed to become interested as they realized there was a stranger in the room and for the most part the room was silent. “What exactly did you try to steal?” he asks accusingly as everypony else listens in.

I thought the interrogation was over...

“The elements…” you mumble, barely audible.

“What?”

“Uhh… a vase,” you lie, feeling the gaze of everypony in the room burning through you. You can't believe you were about to reveal something like that to these ponies.

“Oh. Well, here’s a glass of water,” he says slowly as he finds a glass, fills it with water, and hands it to you. You proceed to awkwardly walk out of the kitchen, not hearing anymore movement from within until you’re a good distance away from the room.

You walk back to the throne room more quickly than last time, avoiding the gaze of many of the passersby. The guards once again open the large doors to the throne room and let you pass.

“That took a while, but you’ll get faster as you get more familiar with the castle,” Celestia comments as you approach the thrones. Celestia uses her magic to lift the glass of water out of your hoof and place it next to her, on a pedestal next to the throne.

“Anything else, your majesties?” you ask mockingly, getting no reaction from the princesses; however, Luna perks up as if she had just remembered something.

“Oh, yes! I would like some water as well,” she states firmly.

“I was just in the kitchen! Why didn’t you ask before?” you ask irritably.

“I didn’t want water then. Now I want water. Is that a problem?”

“No, your majesty,” you reply through gritted teeth. The words tasted foul in your mouth, but you had no other choice. You grudgingly turn around and head back to the kitchen.

Chapter 3

Note: your name is now represented as a ---
I doubt this will confuse anyone; however, I am mentioning it anyways.

___

You finally lay down after what felt like the longest day of your life. Both princesses had you running around the castle all day doing what you thought were the most tedious and pointless errands, all the while mocking and patronizing you. Specifically Celestia. Luna wasn’t that much of an annoyance. She didn’t ask for much at all actually. Still, you weren’t going to take this for more than a few weeks. You had to escape, but you wouldn’t dare try anything tonight. Even so, you decide that you need to try to escape at some point. You have no idea how long they plan on keeping you. You eventually concede that you need to sleep and you can start working on a plan some other time.…

“Mom? Dad?”
“Wake up already! I’m scared!”

Th-thump! Th-thump!

“Wh… wha?” you stammer for a moment before you figure out what’s happening. “Damnit! That dream again!” you complain aloud.

Th-thump! Th-thump!

The knocking was louder and more aggressive the second time. You hop out of bed and walk slowly to the door, simultaneously fixing your mane. You swing the door open and see two guards standing on the opposite side, one ready to knock for a third time. You weren’t sure what time it was, but you felt fairly well rested, so you guess about seven or eight in the morning.

Not bad… for being held prisoner…

“Follow us,” one of the guards commands, not skipping a beat. You felt the need to go back and get ready first, but then you remembered that you had no possessions or money… or freedom.

You give an ungrateful grunt as you shut the door and follow suit behind the guard. The other guard dropped back behind you to form a line, where you could be monitored from every direction.

You make your way to the hallway that leads directly to the throne room at a frustratingly slow pace. Every time you sped up a little, the guards would get even slower, forcing you back for a moment. You were somewhat surprised that the princesses felt the need to watch you this closely.

“Don’t trust me enough to walk by myself? It’s not very far away, and it’s not like I could run away. You guys are everywhere,” you reason with a little bite in your voice.

“No,” the guard behind you tersely responds. There’s a short pause before you continue.

“Yeah… I wouldn’t trust me either,” you concede, letting out a sigh and remembering how you were attempting to steal the elements of harmony only two nights ago. Finally, you reach the doors that serve as the entrance to the throne room. The doors are opened by two white pegasus guards (…what a surprise…) and the guards accompanying you toss you inside the room before the doors slam behind you. You’re shocked by the sudden force and lose your footing, falling onto your stomach as your hooves slide out from under you in four different directions.

This elicits a giggle from Princess Luna, while her sister remains unmoved. You let out a sigh before standing up and approaching the princesses, hesitating slightly before bowing to them.

“I take it you slept well?” Princess Celestia asks first.

“Uh, sure,” you lie, knowing that she probably doesn’t care.

“Good,” she responds. “I have an important meeting to get to that’s concerning the gala coming up, so you’ll just be catering to Luna today,” she explains. There’s a moment silence as she rises from her throne and walks towards the large doors, accompanied by two guards. “Oh yes, before I forget,” she remembers as she stops in her tracks. “You may have your saddlebags back. We have no use for them, and you might find them useful when helping around the castle.”
One of the guards standing next to her takes the cue and places your saddlebags to you before returning to the princess’s side. You watch her as she is escorted out of the room and you can’t help but smile at her unexpected disappearance; however, your smile fades to slight grin in fear of upsetting Princess Luna as you turn back to her.

“So… You need anything?”

“No thanks,” she replies. “Not yet.” There’s a short silence while the guards leave with Princess Celestia before Princess Luna continues.

“Do you have any hobbies, ---?” You’re caught off guard by her sudden change of mood and somewhat personal question. She seemed almost eager to get to know you, but didn’t say anything until you two were alone. Speaking of which, you found it very odd that the guards would leave with the other princess and leave you two alone.

“Oh. I, uhh…” you stammer as you try to think of what you usually do in your free time. “I guess I like to read. I have a lot of books in my house,” you explain.

...and stealing.

“Oh. I guess I didn’t take you for the ‘reading’ type,” she mused, pondering the subject for a moment. You consider asking what the hay that’s supposed to mean, but you control yourself.

“Well, what do you like to do?” you counter while turning and marveling up at one of the stained glass windows. It depicted Celestia and Luna, watching over a land you could only assume was Equestria.

“Well.” Luna sighed, obviously not completely satisfied with something. “I don’t have too much free time, but recently I’ve been practicing my magic,” she finishes more enthusiastically.

“Magic?” you ask as you turn around to face Luna again. “Like what?” She smiles devilishly at your question and you can’t help but raise an eyebrow.

“Like this,” she responds giddily as you are surrounded by a blue aura of light and energy, tinting your vision and momentarily disorienting you.

“GAH!” You yelp in panic as you’re lifted into the air. The feeling of your hooves lifting off the ground suddenly is unnerving at first, but you regain control of your senses look towards Luna, paddling through the air. She chuckles at your futile attempt to swim through the air.

“Is it hard? I mean, making me float like this?” you ask, turning back to her while you’re still suspended in midair, now spinning around and kicking your legs as if you were backstroking.

“Well, I’m getting better at it, but it takes some focus,” she replies. That would explain why she drops you right as the doors on the opposite end of the room fly open. You fall about five feet onto your back and sprawl out in a less than graceful manner onto the white marble below.

“ACK!”

“Oh! I’m sorry. Am I interrupting something?” came a voice from… some direction. Your head was spinning at the moment, but you started to stand up as Luna replied to the unknown, feminine voice.

“Oh! Twilight!” she exclaimed, trying to hide her surprise. “Not at all,” she eventually responds. “But Princess Celestia isn’t here right now. She’ll be back in a couple of hours,” she explained as you regained your sense of direction and looked towards the unknown mare: A young, purple unicorn with dark blue hair and pink streak running down on side.

“That’s alright. I just need to know where the new library is. Princess Celestia said that it has been moved, is that correct?” she continued as she approached the throne and gave a bow to the princess.

This will be interesting, you think to yourself as you become aware of the situation. How’s the princess gonna explain who I am to this unicorn?

“Oh yeah, that’s right…” she replied thoughtfully, probably thinking of what to do with you. “I’ll show you where it is,” she offered as she gracefully descended from her throne. “It’d be nice to take a walk anyways. There’s not much going on today and I’m tired of talking with the guards. They’re not very exciting.”

What about me!?

As she descends to the floor, you notice something that you hadn’t before. Princess Luna was actually very attractive. You hadn’t thought about her in this way before, but you find yourself staring at her tall, slender body that both of the princesses seemed to possess. You quickly push the thought out of your mind as you realize you’re staring.

“Don’t worry princess, I’ll stay here and protect the throne room. I’ll make sure nothing gets stolen,” you offer with faux determination. Luna smiles and sighs before replying with a neutral tone.

“I’m not leaving you in the throne room by yourself. You can come with us.” The purple unicorn gives you a confused stare.

“Is this the new servant you hired?” she asks. “Why wouldn’t you trust him to watch the throne room in your absence?” Luna is about to reply… but you beat her to it.

“I wasn’t exactly ‘hired.’” You mimic quotes in the air with your hooves… somehow. “I don’t get paid, so I’m more like a slave, ya’ know?” Luna shoots you a glare, but you can’t help but snicker at the fact that you’ve successfully irritated Princess Luna and possibly offended the confused purple unicorn standing in between you.

“Let me explain,” Luna quickly interjects. And with that, you head off to the new castle library.

The first half of the walk to the library included Luna telling Twilight everything that she knew about you. You walked in silence in between them as they talked about you. Luna had already told Twilight your name, how you were caught stealing, and then about how you were given a break by being allowed to serve her and Princess Celestia instead of rotting in the dungeon. Twilight looked utterly shocked when Luna mentioned the elements of harmony, and you were equally shocked that she would disclose such information to this unicorn. You figure she must be pretty close to the princesses.

“And you trust him to be your servant?” Twilight asks incredulously.

“Hey!” you interrupt, but to no avail. You are ignored.

“Well, I don’t think he’d try anything, but we’re still gonna watch him for a few more days before we’re sure,” replies Luna.

“Hey!”… Ignored again.

“That’s probably a good thing. I hope he doesn’t try to steal anything else. You might want to keep a close eye on him when we’re in the library.”

“Stop talking about me like I’m not here! And I’m trustworthy!” you add defensively.

“…Did you just say you were trustworthy?” Luna asks with both of her eyebrows raised in shock and stifling a laugh. You’re quite shocked yourself that she would react so strongly and quickly suggesting that you’re not, but you can’t blame her entirely.

“You do remember trying to steal the elements of harmony, correct?” Twilight adds, making you remember why you must partially blame yourself for everypony’s weariness of you.

“That was different!” you argue defensively; although, you know this argument is out of your reach. You didn’t even believe yourself, but you weren’t used to someone referring to you as ‘the thief,’ or ‘untrustworthy.’ Despite the truth that these titles held, it made you uncomfortable to say the least. You didn’t think of yourself as a criminal. You simply called it that so other ponies would understand what you were talking about. You thought about explaining that art of thievery, but you figured now is not the time for that.

“How is that different?” Twilight asks, maintaining her doubtful attitude; however, Luna smiles just like she had before she tossed you around in the air back in the throne room, and honestly, it creeps you out a little.

“Wait, Twilight. I want to hear this.” You grimace at Luna’s apparent doubtfulness, but she retains her playful attitude. “Explain to me how you are trustworthy,” she orders patronizingly, turning back to you.

“W-well…” You think for a moment. What was I thinking? I’m not trustworthy. You turn back to Luna, whose smile is growing every second you struggle to come up with an answer. The princess stops at a large wooden door and you and Twilight follow suit. “Hey, this is the library, correct?”

“Uh, yeah. We should get going, but don’t think I’ll forget about this. We’ll continue later,” Luna replies knowingly.

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

She pushes on the door in front of you, revealing one of the most spectacular rooms you’d ever seen. You kindly let Twilight and the princess enter first before going in yourself and marveling in the massive, spectacular room. You figure this could easily be one of the largest libraries in Equestria, if not the largest. Massive pillars of white marble adorned the edges of the colossal room, contrasting well with the gold-trimmed, purple carpet. And manikins similar to the ones in the throne room were placed in between bookshelves occasionally. The mares didn’t seem surprised at all.

“There are a lot of books in here,” you state in wonder as you look around. Twilight headed off on her own after Luna explained to her how everything was organized. That information could have been helpful to you as well, but you were too busy marveling over the grandeur room you just walked into.

“Yes, I suppose there are,” Luna replies as she looks around for herself. She’s probably gotten used to it by now and didn’t notice until you mentioned it. “Anyways, Twilight’s going to get what she needs. She’ll be back soon.”

“Yeah… Twilight… Who is she anyways?”

“Oh, right. You probably wouldn’t know. Twilight Sparkle is my sister’s protégé. She’s very gifted in magic and is incredibly smart.”

“That’s impressive. I always wanted a protégé,” you admit. She raises in eyebrow, and you smile before explaining. “It’d be like having a younger sibling, only he or she would steal things with me.”

“You’re horrible!” Luna laughs. You consider your joke seriously for a moment.

Maybe if I had a protégé to help out every once in a while, I would’ve had a better chance getting the elements of harmony. Or at least not getting caught, like a fool... You clear your throat before continuing.

“So, umm… princess?”

“Call me Luna. I hate formality. What’s up?” You’re surprised at how quick Luna is to trust ponies she met only recently, not to mention a criminal, and how different she was from her sister. Or maybe you just hadn’t gotten the chance to meet the… ‘real’ Princess Celestia? The one that was nice and caring, like everypony said she was.

“Okay, Prince- er… Luna,” you begin awkwardly. “How long do you think, uhh… I’ll be staying… here?” You flash a painfully obvious, nervous smile.

“Oh, I don’t know. I haven’t given it much thought; although, it’s probably more my sister’s decision than my own.”

Wonderful…

“Oh, that’ll go over well,” you deadpan with obvious sarcasm and concern.

“Don’t worry, Celestia is very nice once you get on her good side.” Your ears perk up and Luna smiles at your obvious interest, waiting patiently for a response.

“So,” you start, drawing out the ‘o.’ “How does one go about getting on her ‘good side?’”

“I thought you might ask, but I’m going to let you figure that out on your own. It shouldn’t be hard,” she replies, still grinning knowingly.

“Aren’t you helpful,” you compliment with faux sincerity.

“Luna!” Twilight calls from an unknown room deep in the library. “Where’s the Star Swirl the Bearded wing?” Luna sighs before calling back.

“I’ll be right there, Twilight!” You wince at the sudden change in volume, and she turns her attention back to you. “Don’t move,” she says. You could’ve sworn she winked at you and let out a rather sensual giggle before turning around and trotting off in the direction of Twilight’s voice.

“Did she just… ” you mumble to yourself almost inaudibly as you stare at the spot where Luna had disappeared around the corner a few moments ago. “Nah, I’m definitely seeing things… I need to get more sleep.”

You sit down and let out a sigh, thinking for a minute or so while Luna helps Twilight navigate through the library. You conclude that you must get on Celestia’s ‘good side,’ as Luna put it, as quickly as possible. You began wondering how you should go about doing that, but you were quickly distracted by a glimmer out of the corner of your eye.

You turn your head to the right and see one of the manikins you had noticed earlier. It was adorned with a festive armor, as well has having several pieces of jewelry strewn about it. You walk up to take a closer look, and upon further inspection, you see that there is a lot more jewelry than you saw at first glance.

All that jewelry on one manikin… unguarded too, you think to yourself. They wouldn’t notice one or two missing pieces… it’s just too good to pass up.

Hesitantly you step up to it, picking out your targets. You spot a gold sapphire necklace around its neck, along with at least three other necklaces. It would be so hard to spot that one missing piece, and it’s probably very valuable. You look quickly side to side before expertly yanking the necklace over the manikins head with your teeth and slinging it into one of your empty saddlebags, not making a sound.

A small feeling of that adrenaline rush that came to you with danger manifests itself once again; a small taste of that sense of danger and adventure that you longed so deeply for. Maybe you'd have to do this more often around the castle.

You quickly turned around, and seeing that the mares haven’t returned, walked back to your previous location and sat down again. You figure that one necklace was no big deal, but the taste of metal in your mouth from when you had handled the necklace with your teeth still lingers, constantly reminding you of what you did. Right now though, you couldn't care less. It just didn't seem wrong, despite what ponies have told you.

Eventually, you hear hoofsteps and the two mares appear around the corner and make their way towards you with several books floating behind them in tow.

“That’s a lot of books. Are you gonna read all those, Twilight?” you ask as they get into speaking range.

“Yup. Rainbow Dash calls me an egghead all the time for it,” she chuckles.

“Rainbow Dash?”

“She’s a friend of mine, don’t worry about it. Maybe you’ll meet her sometime.” You nod slowly in agreement as Luna leads you out of the library and back into the hallway.

“We should get back soon,” Luna suggests. “If Celestia finds out that I let the thief walk around the castle, she’ll probably be furious.”

Why would you refer to me as ‘the thief’ right in front of me? It wasn’t so much the name ‘thief’ that annoyed you. What aggravated you was the way ponies talk about thieves, as if they were evil or something. When ponies think of thieves, they think of the idiots who try to rob general stores and have no idea what they are doing, or the ponies who break into a house clumsily and unprepared, almost as if they want to get caught. And worst of all, they think of the ponies that hurt other ponies, doing whatever it takes to get what they want. You weren’t like that at all. You hated those type of ponies just as much as anypony else. They give the real thieves like you a bad name. You figure you should explain all this in detail to the princesses later on, but for now it could do nothing but bother you.

“You’re trying to prevent me from getting on her good side, aren’t you?” you playfully accuse.

“Just making it a little harder, but it should be no problem for a trustworthy gentlecolt like you, right?” she counters.

Clever girl…

“Hehe… yeah definitely,” you speak softly and shakily. Twilight and Luna chuckle inwardly a little.

You’re lost in thought as you walk back to the throne room. The mares are talking about some event. You think they called it the Grand Galloping Gala, but the only thing you can think about right now is how to develop a good rapport with Celestia. That was your ticket out of here; gaining her trust. You decided that sooner or later she was going to make you tell her more about you, and you had to be prepared to answer those in the best possible way.

Suddenly you realize that stealing things around the castle, like the necklace, probably wasn’t going to help gain her trust. But it’s all fine if she doesn’t find out, and that’ll be easy… right? You don’t think she’ll search your saddlebags after she just gave them back to you, and you’ll just need to hide the piece jewelry in your room at the end of the day. You’re an expert at concealing objects; it shouldn’t be a problem. And once you get out of this luxurious prison, you can sell everything. Gaining ponies trust and stealing from them at the same time; it appears you have a lot of deceiving ahead of you.

You’re almost to the throne room now, and as you pass the doors to the kitchen, you hear the bustling of several cooks from within. You wonder for a moment why there are so many cooks, anyways. Who do they need to cook for besides the princesses? It can’t possibly take that many cooks for those two, even if they are royalty. A sweet aroma touches your nostrils and you realize that they must be cooking a lot of sweets, since there is so much movement inside. You’ve never noticed this before; perhaps it has something to do with this gala everypony’s been mentioning.

Nevertheless, you pass the kitchen and approach the throne room. As usual, the guards, standing at their post, open the doors for the princess and those accompanying her, but not without glaring at you the whole time. Luna either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care.

“Oh. Hello sister. I was not expecting you back so soon,” Luna says with a courteous nod. You look up, fully snapping back to reality, and notice Celestia on her throne. She had returned with the guards sometime while you were in the library.

“Good afternoon princess,” Twilight adds before bowing. You bow as well but say nothing.

“Good afternoon Twilight,” Celestia replies with a smile. “I see you’ve got a lot of books. Luna must have shown you the new library?” she continues. This is not the Celestia you were used to. Something definitely has her in a good mood, seeing as how she hasn’t bitten your head off for not being where she expected you to be. The question concerning the real, kind Celestia floats back to the top of your mind; although, no matter what it is that’s making her this way, you’re glad for it.

“Yes, and it looks marvelous,” Twilight replies. “It was nice to see you before I left, but I should really get going.” They say their farewells as Twilight trots off in the other direction. “Goodbye Princess Luna and ---,” she adds just before the massive doors close gently behind her.

Luna is seated atop her throne and you stand before her and Celestia, waiting for whatever fate has planned for you next. You turn your gaze towards Celestia and see that her expression has gone slightly dour as she stares at you, deep in thought. After a moment, her eyes seem more focused and she looks at directly at you and sighs, like a mother would before telling her child what it did wrong.

“---… we need to talk.”

Great…

Chapter 4

You look over to Luna, almost as confirmation of what you just heard, and she nods hesitantly, and it’s painfully clear that she had known this was coming. You turn your attention back to Celestia, “What?”

“I said, we need to talk,” Celestia repeats with the same unfaltering, polite manner.

“Er- … what about, your majesty?” you ask worriedly.

“Well, first, let me see your saddlebags.” Your apprehension only grew from that point onward.

Oh, no. The necklace. How could she know? Impossible!

You open your mouth instantly to respond, but only mumble something inaudible before closing it again.

“Don’t worry, you can have them back. I would just like to see them for a moment,” she reassures you, even though it’s not reassuring in the least.

Nevertheless, you hesitantly remove your saddlebags and the princess takes ahold of them with her magic.

You watch as she carries it closer, as if it were a metaphor of your fleeting freedom. The familiar form of telekinesis brings back memories of Luna’s similar abilities, with which she was able to pick you up for several seconds.

Luna was definitely fun to hang around with, and she seemed not to be completely against you. There was a definite possibility that she was doing this on purpose, maybe to give you a false sense of comfort so that you wouldn’t resist authority as much. A ‘good-cop, bad-cop’ situation, in a sense.

Whether it was false comfort or sincere comfort, it was comfort nonetheless, and that put your mind somewhat at ease. It was a shame that you were going to be tossed back in the dungeon any second now, losing the chance to get to know her better.

“It’s good to see that you haven’t anything in here, although I suppose only a fool would try to steal something under such intense scrutiny,” she said with a hint of what might be hope. You pursed your lips together as you prepared to shout random apologies, but then your mind began to process the words she had just spoken.

“S-sorry, could you repeat that?” you ask cautiously. According to her, your saddlebags are empty, but you know that they’re not.

Or, at least, they shouldn’t be.

“It’s a good sign that your saddlebags are still empty. Perhaps you won’t be as difficult to deal with as I previously determined.”

“Yeah…” you reply in a daze, too confused to be offended. “Well, what else do you wish to discuss, Princess?” you continue as she returned your saddlebags.

You take a quick glance inside before placing them back to make sure that Celestia was correct, and sure enough, there was no necklace. It was empty.

You glance over at Luna to see what she was doing, but she kept an unreadable expression. The princesses were experts at disguising their thoughts and feelings, but you figure that should be expected from century’s old royalty.

“The crime rate concerning theft has become essentially non-existent over the past several years,” Princess Celestia begins. “After so long, I’m surprised that there are still ponies, forthrightly… like you, around.” Feeling that this conversation may be very important to your own future, you choose your next words carefully.

“I am not the same as what most other ponies would call thieves. My profession more closely resembles what somepony might call art.” Even from behind the two sisters’ expertly crafted poker faces, you can sense the slightest bit of interest.

They pause for a moment before Celestia urges you to continue, “Please, explain.”

“W-well… all of the elements which go into art go into my profession. Inspiration, fantasy, inventiveness, ambition, and even the same practice and perfection go along with it as well. To an outsider, such as yourself, it sounds ridiculous to speak of the vocation of a thief, doesn’t it?”

“I suppose it does,” Celestia replies, looking slightly engrossed.

Thankfully, she does not outwardly appear upset, but more as though she wishes to hear more. Luna looks to be in a similar state of mind, silently pondering everything you say.

“For example, a pickpocket’s profession demands nimbleness and agility, along with keen eyesight and a talent for observation. It’s difficult to master, but the payout is worth the risk if you know what you’re doing.

“And risk is not always a bad thing,” you continue, “One thing I live for is the rush from danger, the fascination of risk. I respect the wellbeing of others, and a thief chooses the profession for this thrill of danger. Money is merely a side benefit that allows you to keep thieving.

“Unless, of course, you’re caught… like me. Only ponies that you think of as thieves, the ponies that we both think of as scum, would declare that money is their only goal.”

Your own speech reminds you of the rush you got from the danger of breaking into the castle, and how it pushed you to go further, and in some cases blinding your ability to be reasonable.

“I assure you I am not one of these ponies, and my point is this. Genius and inspiration, even when not devoted towards the benefit of society, or towards what ponies generally think of as the right thing to do, is still a rare and beautiful thing nonetheless.”

You then wait for a reply, knowing that your time to speak is over and that your fate is in the hooves of the two rulers of Equestria.

You stand before the princesses, growing more on edge every second as they silently deduce you. Eventually, Celestia’s gaze softens and she looks directly at you.

“My sister was right. You are quite interesting,” she states simply.

Her softened gaze is accompanied by a smile and Luna looks slightly relieved. You let a grin sneak back to the corners of your mouth and look contentedly back at the princesses. Princess Celestia seems more comfortable around you right now, which means you’re that much closer to gaining her trust, which is progress.

“Sorry to bother you again sister, but could you please escort him back to his room? I think that’s enough for today.”

“It’s no bother, Tia,” she replies before stepping down from her throne and motioning for you to follow. You comply and the two of you silently leave the throne room. The way Celestia seems to purposely leave you and Luna alone only gives more evidence that the comfort Luna is providing is insincere, but comfort is comfort.

You continue to get glares from guards and workers as you walk through the castle. They obviously don’t appreciate your presence. You decide that they’re just going to have to deal with it for now. It’s not looking like you’re leaving anytime soon. You try to ignore them and focus on the walk back to your room.

“Are you wondering where that necklace went?” Luna asks you softly. You immediately jump when she breaks your concentration, and start to mentally panic once you realize what she had asked you.

“Wh-what are you talking about?” you respond quickly with faux ignorance, avoiding her gaze and wondering how she could have knowledge of the necklace.

“Do you think it just got up and walked away?” she asked with a smirk, “I put it back where it belongs.”

You look over at Luna confusedly as you try to figure out what’s happening.

“I helped you this time, but don’t think I will next time, so you should really start behaving from now on,”

You figured it’d be pointless to ask ‘how’ or ‘when,’ but there was still one question that needed to be answered.

“Okay… but why help me at all?”

“You’re interesting. I like you. I can’t just have you thrown in the dungeon so soon,” she replied, comforting you a little, “but like I said, I can’t keep helping you out. You’re going to have to learn to control yourself.”

Could this all be a ruse to make you behave? Or is she really sincere? You decide to agree, but whether you would actually follow through with your promise, however, is a decision for later.

“Yeah, I think I could try to do that.”

The next morning was rather uneventful, which was odd because you were used to being rudely awakened by the guards. Waking up when the sun was bright was nice. Maybe it was due to pleasing Celestia yesterday with your ‘empty’ saddlebags.

You lie in your bed and stare up at the ceiling for several minutes before somepony knocks on your door. You groan as you sit up and swing your lower half off of the bed. You expertly fall forward and land on all four hooves before walking towards the door. You open it slowly, expecting to find a guard or two on the other side. Such was not the case. You open the door fully to reveal, much to your surprise, a bright pink unicorn. Oh wait… are those wings? Correction: a bright pink alicorn.

“Hello?” you ask, only slightly surprised by your new guest.

“Good morning, I’m Princess Cadence. My husband and I need some help setting up for the gala and Princess Celestia told me that I could borrow you for the day,” she explains with a rather friendly smile.

“Of course she did,” you mutter to yourself, “Well, uh… yeah sure. Just... tell me what to do, I guess.”

“Great,” she replies cheerfully, “Follow me.”

“So… What’s all this?” you ask as you look over the large bags piled in the corner. She had led you to a strange, small room deep inside the castle.

“We send out many invitations to the gala from the castle, and we need to know how many ponies are attending,” she explains, “you need to go through each letter and make a tally of every pony that sent an RSVP.”

You approach the bags of letters. There were at least ten pony-sized, black, plastic bags stacked in a pile. The room appeared to be some sort of mail room, almost like you would see in the back of a post office.

“My husband, Shining Armor, should be here shortly to help out,” she said as she made her way to the door.

“Okay, cool,” you reply disinterestedly.

You’re now alone in what you have designated the ‘Mail Room’, so you decide to get started on the letters. You sigh and leisurely canter over to the nearest bag. Seeing no other entertaining means of opening the bag, you grab a nearby letter opener and cut it open with an over exaggerated slash. Smiling to yourself, you set the dull blade to the side and watch as the letters slowly pour out onto the floor.

“I hope you plan on picking all that up,” a voice came flatly from behind. You quickly turn your head to see a white unicorn stallion standing in the doorway. His voice sounded young but experienced, an unusual combination among ponies.

“Yeah, whatever,” you reply nonchalantly, picking up one letter and placing it on the table before you. You fumble with it before successfully tearing it open with your teeth. You quickly glance over it.

The favor of your reply is requested by April 15, 2012.

Tickets will be sent to all those attending, determined by correspondence with this letter.

2 no. attending

Regrets

Well, that was simple enough. You grab a nearby pen and the discarded envelope to use as scratch paper and make two tally marks on it. A few more letters pass in silence as both you and the white unicorn work.

“So, you’re the criminal,” he finally says.

You glance up for a moment and stare at him before looking back down at what you’re doing.

“I don’t like criminals,” he continues casually. You sigh and pause for a moment before replying.

“You are Shining Armor, correct?” you reply ungratefully.

“Yes, I am. Captain of the Royal Guard.”

Congratulations, asshole.

You introduce yourself, extending your hoof. Unsurprisingly, he doesn’t take it and you retract it awkwardly.

“Yup,” he replies, looking down at the next letter he decides to pick up. You sigh and continue working in silence.

The tedious work goes along like this for a while. It’s boring as hell, but it’s not as if you have a choice. You consider speaking up more than a few times, but the idea of silence rather than disagreement wins every time. This goes on for the next couple of silent hours, until the letters are finally finished.

“Okay, now count the tally marks on my paper and add them to yours,” he says once there are clearly no letters left.

“Why should I have to do that? Why don’t we each count our own?” you ask indignantly.

“Because you’re the one being forced to do this,” he replies, “I’m only doing this as a favor for my wife.”

There is a short pause before you decide.

“No.”

“What?” he asked, though it was obvious that he heard you.

“Hard of hearing? I said no,” you repeat coldly.

The next thing you know, you’re rolling out of the room with Shining Armor, both giving and receiving kicks and punches. You land a good punch to the right side of his face before he gives a well-timed kick with his hind legs to launch you off of him. You land a few feet away and neither of you get up for a few moments. You both lie there, panting somewhat heavily.

As you painfully sit up, an idea creeps its way into your mind. You glance over to the table with the letters, spotting the letter opener sitting out. Before Shining Armor can recover, you sprint towards it and pick up the weapon in your mouth.

You run and slash at him, but he’s already recovered and standing by the time you do. He dodges, and you throw another forehoof up to strike his face.

Apparently, he had the same idea as you, and you both punch each other at the same instant. You’re both once again flung onto the floor, with you on top, before a feminine screech comes from somewhere nearby.

“What are you doing!?” the feminine voice cries.

You turn your head towards the distressed sounding voice. Big mistake. He lands a punch to your jaw while you’re distracted, and you are forced to climb off of him and take a few steps away. He doesn’t follow, so you figure that he’s preoccupied with whoever’s voice that was. You wobble around for a bit before nearly collapsing.

You lean up against the wall for support as you hear the feminine voice reprimanding Shining Armor. And possibly you as well, but if she is, you don’t really care.

After you recompose yourself, you’re suddenly yanked across the floor by your tail. You flail around for a minute before realizing that Luna was holding you in her magic.

“I hope he didn’t cause too much trouble, Shining,” she apologizes quickly before dragging you close to her and teleporting you away in a flash of light.

There were a few moments of darkness before you suddenly reappear in a large bedroom. You look around and see a repeating theme of purple and indigo colors. From the way the room looks, you easily deduce that it is Luna’s private quarters.

“Explain yourself,” Luna immediately demands. You take a few seconds to recover from the teleportation before replying.

“He was being an asshole-…!”

“Enough!” she bellowed, loudly enough for you to lose any and all hope of convincing her. You cower away just slightly as she glares straight at you.
“Now, I’ll give you one more chance. Explain to me what happened,” she said much more quietly.

“He was making fun of me. He called me a criminal and…” You pause and think about what you just said.

“So what? You are!” she reminds you coldly. “He’s the head of security around here, the Captain of the Royal Guard. Whether you feel he’s being nice or not, he has the right to order you around.” You reassume your default emotionless stare and don’t respond.

“I’m going to have to explain this to Cadence and Celestia. I’ll try to make it sound as good as possible for your sake,” she grumbled, “It’s really hard to keep you from getting locked up, you know that?” she asks indignantly. You remain silent.

“Why can’t you just be good?” she mumbles, looking down and giving the floor a hard stare.

“The good die young, Luna,” you say softly, smirking to yourself, before she glances back up at you.

“Don’t leave your room until I come and get you,” she says before a flash of light cuts off your reply. You feel the familiar feeling of having your body disassembled and put back together inside your room.

You groan and then sigh before climbing onto your bed and folding your arms behind your head. You stare at the ceiling for a few minutes before closing your eyes and sighing again.

A knock at the door interrupts your rather peaceful sleep. You decided not to answer it, just to see what would happen. There are several more knocks before you hear a frustrated groan. You stare at the door, wondering if whoever it was on the other side was ready to knock it down or something. Such was not the case.

In a split second, there was a flash of blue and purple at the foot of your bed, and Luna suddenly materializes in its spot. You let out a yelp and jump a little, sitting up on the bed.

“So, you are awake,” she notes with a raised eyebrow.

“My bad, I was too slow, I guess,” you say, closing your eyes and leaning back again.

“Get up,” she sighs, levitating you off of the bed and setting you on the floor. You get to your hooves before she continues. “Shining Armor has agreed to not mention this incident to Celestia, on one condition.”

“That is…?”

“If you apologize.”

“Nope.”

Luna holds a deadpan expression until you decide to change your mind.

“I… uhh…”

Her stare is burning now, you should probably hurry up.

“Okay, fine! I’ll apologize!” you eventually concede.

“That’s what I thought. Come,” she says, unlocking and opening the door before walking out. You hesitate before she turns back to address you.
“Now,” she adds sternly.

You quickly step out of the room and shut the door. You walk next to Luna as she leads you to wherever she’s going. Maybe by the time you get there, you’ll muster up the courage to apologize.

It was a long walk to the couple’s room, and you arrived after about ten long minutes of silence. You could tell that you were getting close by the way Luna slowed her pace and began looking at each door, probably for some familiarity. The doors were spaced a good distance apart, so you could only assume that the rooms behind them were rather large.

“Okay, were here,” she says, stopping before one of the doors. “You better apologize,” she warns, turning around to face you directly.

“Or else what?” you ask curiously, wondering what she would do to you if you refused. She sighed and bent her neck slightly to get eye level with you before leaning forward. Before you had any idea what was going on, her lips were on yours.

However, it didn’t last long enough for you to get over the initial surprise, and you’re struck speechless, with a blank, wide-open stare as she retracts and opens her eyes. She clears her throat before addressing you again.

“You are going to apologize, aren’t you?” she asks primly.

Your only response is to slowly nod your head. You couldn’t wrap your mind around what had just happened. Luna then knocks on the door, and the next instant there is a reply in the form of a familiar pink alicorn opening the door. You look down at the floor so you don’t have to see any of her recent feelings towards you.

“Good afternoon, Luna. And to you as well,” she says, nodding towards you, in an unpredictably cherry voice. You lift your head to see the same happy alicorn, seemingly unchanged since you last saw her.

“It’s nice to see you, Cadance,” Luna replies before Cadence turns around to call for her husband.

“Shining! Come here for a moment, will you?”

“Sure honey, just give me a moment,” he called back. Oh, that voice… detestable.

You could hear hoofsteps approaching the door until you saw the Captain of the Royal Guard himself. He’s a little surprised when he sees you, and you realize now that it was his wife that had made the deal to keep this a secret and not him. The four of you stand in silence for a few moments before you’re nudged by the blue alicorn to your left. You glance over quickly and she has an eyebrow raised expectantly. You clear your throat and look up to Shining Armor.

“I just want to say…” You force out the words as if their taste is dreadful, “I’m sorry for what happened this morning… It was out of line.”

There’s a short silence, in which you feel like vomiting, until he finally speaks.

“Y-yeah, thanks…” he says softly.

He too is nudged by the alicorn standing next to him and hesitates a bit before continuing.

“I wasn’t acting as professional as I should have been either, I suppose.”

“I suppose we got off on the wrong foot,” you speculate.

“Yes, definitely. Maybe we could… start over?”

“Sure… sounds good,” you reply, still unsure of whether you like the idea or not.

You glance over to Cadance, who looks rather pleased with herself.

As you finish your sentence, thankfully, faint hoofsteps resonate throughout the hallway. They quickly get louder until you spot a familiar shade of purple and a friendly face.

“Hey, Shiny. Oh, I didn’t expect to see you here too,” Twilight glances at you as she approaches the group.

“You, uh… know this guy, Twilight?” you ask.

“How do you know him, Twily?” Shining Armor asked before Twilight could answer your question. You give him a slight glare before looking back to Twilight.

“Of course I know him, he’s my brother,” she answers you first.

What

She then looks back to answer Shining Armor, “I was hanging out with him and Luna the other day.”

“You were… hanging out with him?” he asked, looking a bit angry for one moment and then docile again the next. You couldn’t pass up this chance; you had to rub this in his face.

“Yup, we were,” you say casually, “but that’s fine, ‘cause we’re cool now, right? Starting over and whatnot?” you ask him with a smirk.

He pulls off a face that’s a cross between irate and horrified before retreating behind his poker face again.

“Oh, yeah. It’s fine by me,” he replies between gritted teeth with his eyes squinted menacingly at you.

“It was nice talking with you, but we should really get going now,” Luna says hastily, taking a few steps away from the door and yanking you a little. Cadence says farewell to Luna and the two of you begin walking away before you can ruin the apology you just made.

“Later, Twilight!” you call back over your shoulder.

“See you later,” she replies happily. You hear an angry huff from Shining Armor and you snicker a bit before Luna elbows you lightly.

As you walk back, your mind drifts back to the kiss she gave you before you apologized. So, you guess she may actually like you, and in a romantic way, nonetheless. You pause for a moment when you reach the door to your room and look over to Luna.

“L… Luna?” you stammer, simultaneously trying to think of what to say next.

“Yes?” she replies softly, glancing over at you. You blush a little when you make eye contact, but you quickly break it and look at the ground.

“Why did you… do that?” you ask awkwardly.

“I had to make you leave, you were about to ruin the clean slate you just created between you and Shining Armor,” she replies a little indignantly.

“No, no, not that,” you reply quickly, “I mean the thing you did before we talked to Shining Armor.” There’s short pause while she processes your words.

“Oh…” she says in understanding. Luna blushes and looks down as you look back up at her, “Yeah, there’s that… it was just some incentive. It worked, didn’t it? Anyways, it’s getting late now, you should go to sleep,” she continues, opening the door to your room and practically shoving you inside.

You look back at her as she shuts the door in your face and stare at the door for a moment before sighing and turning back around. You climb into your bed, utterly confused, and close your eyes. As you lay there, you realize how unruly you mane has been recently. You should probably take a shower soon.

Author's Note

Remember me?
The insignificant author?
No...?
Okay...
Well, I apologize sincerely for such a long period of hiatus. You might have to re-read some previous chapters to remember what this story is even about. Well, anyways, I hope you enjoy(ed) this chapter.

Chapter 5

You wake up, once again, to a harsh pounding on the door. No voice accompanies it, but it’s incredibly annoying, nevertheless. You roll over onto your back and groan.

“Give me a minute!” you shout irritably. The knocking immediately stops.

Your ears perk up and you lift your head to look at the door. The knocking doesn’t usually stop on command. Your curiosity eventually outweighs your aggravation and you get up to answer the door.

You crack open the door and slowly poke your head out. You look down the hallway in both directions, but no one is there.

Your furrow your brow in displeasure before something lying on the floor catches your attention. You look down at a newspaper placed neatly outside your door. It’s folded into a square and held together by a thin, slightly frayed rope.

Who would wake me up just to give me this? you think ungratefully before picking it up in your mouth and bringing it into your room.

You’re about to toss it to the side to throw away later, but a potentially interesting title on the front page catches your eye. You stop mid-motion and set it down on the bed to read. The title reads, ‘Diamond Smuggler Still Unidentified.”

You chuckle to yourself as you read the rest of the article. It mostly explains what gem smuggling is, which makes sense when you take into account that this newspaper’s target demographic consists mostly of sheltered, snobby, rich folk who are oblivious to the rest of the world.

Gem smuggling is highly illegal, but just as uncommon. There was only one gem smuggler who could traffic such massive amounts diamonds and still be completely unidentified by the media.

And you know who it is.

After pondering the possibilities for several minutes, you finally came to a conclusion on how you can use your unique knowledge to your advantage. You pick the newspaper up and carry it with you out of your room.

You’ve already hypothesized and tested the idea that the more you gain the princesses’ trust, the more freedoms you are allowed, so all you have to do is continue to help them in ways they won’t expect, and at the very least nothing bad could come of it.

Remembering where the throne room was, it only took a minute or two to locate it by yourself. Luckily, you ran into no guards on the way there. You carefully pushed through the door leading into the back entrance of the throne room. Seeing that no one was present except for Princess Celestia and one guard at the side of her throne, you carefully shut the door and take another step forward.

The guard standing at attention has still somehow not noticed you. You make a mental note to tell Celestia later about this particular guard’s lack of awareness.

You cough a couple times to make yourself noticeable, and the princess is the first to peek around the back of her throne and see you.

Her expression hardens for a moment before she speaks, “What are you doing out of your room with no escort?”

With the newspaper currently clenched in between your teeth, you canter around to the front of the throne and set it on the floor before responding, “I know and I’m sorry, but I need to talk to you about something important.”

Celestia pauses, slowly looks to the side, and then back to you before sighing.

“Go ahead,” she eventually offers.

“It’s about the gem smuggler that’s on the front page of this… Canterlot Daily this morning,” you tell her calmly, “I can help you.”

“And what services, pray tell, could you offer that I would be interested in?” Celestia asks somewhat skeptically, glancing down at you indifferently.

“I know this guy,” you explain, “I know who the smuggler is.”

Celestia’s expression lightens up slightly, and she pauses before glancing towards the guard at the side of her throne, “Go get Captain Shining Armor. Tell him that I require his time for moment.”

“Right away, your majesty,” the guard replies with the upmost respect and a bow. It makes you want to gag.

He scurries off in search of the captain, leaving you and the princess temporarily in each other’s company. You sit in silence for a few minutes before Princess Celestia speaks up.

“I’m going to trust you on this, but only because this is currently the biggest case we have,” she explains, “I’m obligated to hear you out for the sake of my country.”

You slightly part your lips to reply, but almost immediately shut them again when you realize that you should just remain silent. It’s only another minute before the guard diligently returns with the captain, as ordered.

“How may I assist you, your majesty?” Shining Armor asks urgently as he trots around to the front of the throne.

His expression hardens in annoyance when he sees you already standing before the princess. Yours does the same.

“I would like to discuss matters of the gem smuggler with you,” the princess replies. She turns back to the useless guard who is once again standing at attention, “Would you mind leaving us for a moment?”

“Of course, your majesty,” he bows again, “I’ll excuse myself immediately.” You feel a bit queasy and nearly gag, but you immediately shake your head to clear the sickening feeling.

“May I ask why he is accompanying us?” Shining asks once the guard had disappeared.

“He claims to personally know the identity of the smuggler, and as the lead investigator in this case, I assumed that you would like to be informed as well,” she replies calmly. Surprisingly, the princess doesn’t seem to appreciate the captain’s hostility toward you.

“Oh,” Shining replies, stunned for a moment, “And what is he asking for in return for his cooperation?” He adds, gaze shifting over to you distrustfully.

“I ask for nothing in return,” you immediately interject, “I just want to help you, seeing as I have nothing better to do.”

“You expect me to believe that you’re willing to rat out one of your friends for absolutely nothing in return, but because you ‘have nothing better to do’?” interrogates the captain.

“Let me make something clear, Captain. I don’t have friends,” you answer, “I merely obtain temporary allies that can just as easily be my enemy a week later. I no longer have a use for this stallion, and I can aid you in his capture if you’d let me.”

Shining Armor’s expression becomes dour and he looks down slightly in concentration. He eventually sighs and glances back up.

“Alright, you can help,” he grudgingly complies, “but only because we don’t have a single lead so far.”

“Well, then,” you suddenly form an excited, slightly sadistic grin, “Shall we begin?”

“Wow, Shiny, this is pretty legit,” you comment to the captain, walking through the forensics division of the royal guard.

“Call me ‘Shiny’ again and you’ll be eating through a tube for a month,” he growls in response.

“You’re a bit touchy this morning, Shiny,” you tease him. Luna glances down at you crossways – probably a warning: one to which you do not adhere.

Shining Armor stops walking and glares daggers at you from mere inches away, “I’m warning you, kid. You’re playing with authority beyond what you can handle.”

“Why do you refuse my display of affection through a cute nickname, Shiny?” you purse your lips and lower your impish smile even closer to him. Luna has stopped walking as well and is ready to intervene on a moment’s notice.

“Is it because that’s what Twilight calls you? Is it because you can’t stand the fact that I’ve conversed extensively with her? She was a bit sheltered to certain aspects of the criminal and vulgar community in Canterlot, but I’ve managed to enlighten her on a lot of it. She’s very eager to learn, you know. You must be proud to have-…”

“I’m going to gut you, you creep!” He suddenly shouts, rearing lunge at you.

You smile devilishly as Luna holds both of you in place with her telekinesis.

“Both of you!” Luna nearly screams, utterly exasperated, easily drawing the attention of everypony on the vicinity, “My sister sent me to lead you to the briefing correspondence with the Canterlot Police Department, not babysit two bickering, adolescent foals!”

Your grin and mirth quickly fade and is replaced with a guilty pang of fear as you are still frozen in place by the princess’ magic. Shining’s intense look of hatred degrades to one of minor annoyance and unease. Luna’s voice then suddenly changes to a soft, shaky tone, as if she is uncertain of something.

“You will do as I say,” she begins, pursing her lips and taking another breath. She glares at you first, “keep close to my left side, and don’t say a word.”

She releases you from her telekinesis and you walk around to her left side, keeping close and quiet. At this point, everypony else’s attention begins to drift back to whatever tasks they were previously focused on.

Luna then looks to Captain Shining Amor, “Please, Captain, be a little more professional. No matter how much he teases you, you cannot lower yourself to petty insults and threats. Stick close to my right side, and do not as much as glance at him with contempt.” Luna points a hoof to you for emphasis, still looking intently at Shining Armor.

From behind the princess, you stick your tongue out at the captain. He doesn’t take his gaze off of Luna, but you notice his eyelid convulsively twitching in forcefully suppressed loathing.

“My apologies, your highness,” he replies shakily, his voice cracking on ‘highness’. He clears his throat and closes his eyes, “It won’t happen again.”

“Alight, so let’s head to the lab,” Luna says collectedly, “The CPD captain and other detectives should be waiting for us.”

The princess leads you to a smaller room with several ponies, a few dressed comfortably or not dressed at all and the rest in more formal attire. It was easy to distinguish Canterlot police officers from the royal guards, since the CPD acted unnecessarily formal about everything.

Shining armor was the first to walk in, receiving welcomes and greetings from several ponies inside. Once Princess Luna stepped into the room, everypony bowed and showed their respects. You leisurely waltzed in behind Luna, not attracting much attention.

One of the CPD detectives, assumingly the captain, eventually speaks up, “So, what’s this new lead you’ve got, Shining?”

Shining armor looks a little uncertain for a moment before looking in your direction, “It’s him.” Everypony turns to stare at you in confusion.

“Him?” questions the CPD captain, “What has he got to offer us?”

“He’s a prisoner, servant, and private consultant,” answers Luna, “My sister and I have made a deal with him as part of a work-release program. So far, he’s been a relatively trustworthy source of information.”

“Relatively?”

“For the most part, yes.”

“He says he knows the smuggler personally,” adds Shining Armor.

“Sure do,” you add casually, shrugging. You notice a couple of the detectives get ready to write information down, more willing to listen than you thought they’d be.

“Well, go ahead,” the new captain says quickly. You find it shocking how less skeptical the CPD is than the royal guard.

“Well, for starters, his name is Maxwell Morocco, but he goes by Medley,” you begin.

A few ponies immediately record the name on paper.

“He has two enslaved diamond dog camps, one just outside of Manehatten, and the other in Baltimare,” you continue nonchalantly.

“Sorry,” the CPD captain interjects, “did you say… enslaved diamond dog camps?”

You raise an eyebrow, “Well, yeah. He took over a diamond dog camp and forces them to work for him, and then he has free gems. It’s practically one hundred percent profit. How did you think it worked?” you inquire confusedly.

“Well, we originally thought they were stolen from the Méxicolt Quarry and smuggled into Canterlot, but this changes everything,” he ponders aloud.

“Anyways,” Shining Armor speaks up, “We still have no way of locating him. Do you have any ideas of where we can find him?” he asks you.

You grin slightly.

“Please explain what we need to do to find him,” the CPD captain implores. You relish the feeling of power and authority you suddenly have.

“There’s a phone booth – a red one on the corner of 36th and Mane Street. If you leave a poker chip inside of the phone box, he’ll meet you the next evening at a private poker table in the back of a restaurant downtown called Foin de Fantaisie. Medley checks the booth every… Sunday, I think, for chips.

“Now here’s the tricky part,” you add a bit solemnly, “You have to put your initials on the chip, and he’ll only meet you if he both recognizes your signature and considers you trustworthy enough.”

There was a pause while statistics were thought over by both the Royal Guard and CPD.

“How are we going to possibly duplicate that?” somepony with the CPD asked from one of the desks, “He’d have to recognize the person, so we’d basically have to find somepony who’s a good friend of Medley and convince him or her to betray him.”

It’s your turn again. You grin.

Shining Armor shoots you a suspicious glare, “Ten thousand bits!?” he asks angrily, “So, you basically want us to supply you with a ludicrous amount of money and place you back out on the streets? I don’t think so!”

“Look, I’m not trying to get away!” you respond fiercely.

Not immediately, anyway.

“I’m trying to help you. And by the looks of it, I’m the only thing even close to a chance that you’ve got… But really, I suppose it’s your decision.”

Shining gives you a strained glare before he shifts his gaze towards the rest of the ponies in the room. Princess Luna and the CPD captain both seem a little pleading and Shining Armor sighs in defeat.

“Fine,” he mumbles, “We’ll have to set up a sting operation. But I’m personally moving in at the first sign of you doing anything you’re not supposed to.”

“Understood,” you reply immediately, still smiling.

“Well, I think that went rather smoothly,” you decide aloud, glancing up towards Luna and over to Shining Armor as you make your way back through the palace.

The captain keeps his gaze straight ahead, “You’re mistaken if you think that I trust you.”

“The feeling is mutual, you can trust me on that,” you reply, looking off to the side as you walk the length of the hallway.

Luna sighs, “At the very least, can you two pretend to get along?”

“Doubt it,” you both mumble in unison.

Soon after, Shining Armor turns down another hallway, departing from you and Luna. He says his farewells, which Luna politely returns and you promptly ignore. You continue walking with Luna in the direction of the throne room until she eventually breaks the silence.

“I’m quite disappointed that you can’t get along with Shining Armor,” she states rather sullenly.

“Honestly, I tried too at first, but he made it difficult,” you explain. She scoffs lightly, seemingly unconvinced so you continue, “Trust me; I’m not so stupid as to make an enemy out of the captain of the royal guard merely for the sake of making enemies, especially while in my position.”

“Well; then, I see that you understand the circumstances of your situation,” Luna replies surprisingly amiably, “I’m not going to ask what reasons you have for doing so, but still, the way you antagonize Shining Armor makes me uneasy. I feel like I’m eventually going to have to pick a side.”

You almost comment on Shining Armor again just to antagonize her, but you quickly decide against it, feeling compelled to discuss with her seriously, “Wouldn’t you be pretty much obligated to take the side of the captain of your Royal Guard?”

“Well, yes, I do suppose that would be the proper response,” she admits, “but if you don’t force me to choose a side in the first place I won’t be obligated to side against you.”

“So, you’re obligated to side with your country, but… you want to side with me?” you ask her cautiously.

She opens her mouth to respond, but her expression turns pensive and she closes it again. He looks away from you before finally responding, “I didn’t say that.”

You awkwardly look straight ahead as you continue to walk with her to the throne room, silence enveloping the atmosphere. You glance over to her carefully, only to find that she is looking back. You’re both caught off guard during a split second of eye contact and look back in opposite directions. You grit your teeth in frustration, but you don’t say anything, or look back.

You eventually get back to the throne room and saunter tiredly up to Celestia’s throne alongside Luna. It had been a long day of planning and discussing, and all you want to do is go back to your room and lie down.

“You were gone for a while,” Celestia notes, “I take it your excursion went well, then?”

“It… was interesting,” Luna replies hesitantly, “We discussed a sting operation involving him at the end of this week,” she says, pointing to you, “just before the gala.”

Celestia took a moment to digest the information, “That certainly sounds interesting.”

There is a pause. Celestia’s gaze seems to drift slightly in your direction. You feel like you might have to say something eventually, but your anxiety is lifted when Luna breaks the silence.

“If that sits well with you, of course,” Princess Luna adds, “I should’ve have checked with you before making any decisions.”

“No, Luna,” Celestia responds immediately with a faint smile, “You are just as much of a princess as I am, and you have just as much authority as I do in these decisions.”

“However,” Celestia bites her lip before her gaze becomes resolute, “We must discuss some things pertaining to this one’s particular liberties in and around castle grounds.” She looks down at you indifferently, “You may show yourself back to your room.”

The princesses wait for you to exit before they continue their conversation. It makes sense, for obvious reasons, but you can’t help but feel the slightest bit of contempt. You take your time stepping out of the throne room and head back to your own room for what will hopefully be a long night of rest.

But then again, that might be wishful thinking.

Author's Note

Merry Christmas to all of you! I sincerely hope you enjoyed this! More to come soon!

Chapter 6

It takes longer than you think it should to fall asleep, but after a couple hours you finally get to a point of minimal consciousness. However, before you fall over the edge into sleep, you hear hoofsteps resonating from the corridor outside your room.

Your tired-eyed glare stiffens at the door and you get out of bed to find out who could be inconsiderate enough to be stomping down the hallway at this hour. You slowly crack the door and distastefully squint your eyes at the comparatively brightly lit hallway. You look to the right and immediately see a white unicorn carelessly strutting down the hallway.

Being the silent thief that you are, you exit your room and creep behind him. As you get closer, you begin to notice he has a long - if not somewhat feminine - blonde mane, and an unfamiliar cutie mark. He seems too preoccupied with himself to notice you, so you get within a few feet of him before revealing yourself.

“What’s goin’ on, Goldilocks?” you rasp darkly, eliciting a sharp gasp from the unicorn. He whirls around, petrified, and hastily backs up as soon as he sees you.

“I identify yourself, filthy peasant!” He shrieks, still backing away slightly.

“What did you call me!?” you shout back in anger, lunging on him and holding him down.

After a moment you start to hear ponies stirring in other rooms nearby.

“Unhand me, vile wretch!” he screams again, “Do you know who I am?”

You gnash your teeth at him and growl, “I don’t care if you’re the Queen of Neightherlands! What are you doing awake and marching around the hallways?”

Your question is left unanswered and you both turn your heads to see a guard walking out of his room, looking even more grumpy than usual.

“Help me!” the inconsiderate unicorn demands girlishly. The guard gasps in shock before running off in the other direction.

“Wow, very brave,” you mutter. You quickly turn back to the unicorn, “Answer my question!”

“I don’t h-have to answer to the likes of you!” the unicorn cried before spitting in your face.

That’s right. He actually spat in your face.

You take your time as your expression twists into a devilish smile. You wipe the disgusting fluid off of your face and stare down at him maliciously.

“Wrong move, Goldilocks,” You whisper before coming down on the side of his face with the same slobber-ridden hoof you had wiped your face off with.

He shrieks again and you wipe a small bit of blood that got onto your hoof onto the similarly colored red carpet. You are about to draw back for another punch when a blinding flash of light momentarily blinds your eyes that have adjusted to the dimly lit hallway.

“Gah,” you grunt, falling off of the blonde unicorn and onto your haunches.

Your mind settles and you look up in a rage, expecting the unicorn to have used a blinding spell or something of the like. Your rage subsides into a mix of anxiety and uncertainty when you see Princess Celestia standing over you in all of her wrath. Her regalia are gone and her hair is messy, but that doesn’t seem lessen her intimidation.

“Do you have any idea what time it is?” she asks in a quiet but extremely threatening voice.

“I was, umm-…”

“And you’re out of your room,” she huffs, “assaulting a prince.”

That idiot’s a prince!?

“L-Look, I was-…”

“And I thought everything was going so well,” she admits solemnly.

“Auntie, that despicable creature struck me!” The white unicorn suddenly yelled.

“He spit on me!” you retort fumingly.

“He pinned me down!”

“He called me a filthy peasant!”

“You are one!”

You growl in response.

“Enough!” Celestia demands, her eyes glowing white, “It is clear that both of you lack-…!”

The princess is cut off by another disorienting flash of light, just like the one before but a very light shade of blue.

“What is going on, sister?” Luna asked quietly before yawning, her eyes still half closed, “I’ve gotten multiple complaints and reports.”

Celestia still remains agitated and informs Luna of all she knows of the immediate situation. Luna’s eyes open a little more fully when she hears your name and she looks down at you uneasily.

“Despite your unfounded trust in him and unsubstantiated claim that he is indeed a good pony, I cannot let him stay in a room by himself,” Celestia decides.

Luna thinks I’m a good pony?

Luna looks uncertain and responds hesitantly, “Does that mean the dungeon for him, then?” she asks hoarsely.

Celestia lets out a long sigh and closes her eyes before coming to a decision, “I’ll have him stay in my own room for tonight as a quicker solution. But it probably will mean that,” she finishes almost threateningly, “Help Prince Blueblood clean himself up, would you, sister?”

Luna’s expression once again goes tired and somber, “Sure.”

Luna stares at the floor disconcertedly before blinding light obscures your vision. You hear Celestia sigh and move around as your eyes adjust to the darkness.

Once you’re able to discern the outlines of various objects in the room, you take the time to observe what seems to be Celestia’s private quarters. The first thing you notice is the massive bed, looming next to you. Celestia climbs in gracefully and you’re stuck standing at the foot of the bed.

“Princess?” you ask quietly, and politely as possible. There is no response, “Where should I-…?”

Your question is cut short as a pillow smacks you in the face.

“Use this,” she mumbles tiredly, “make yourself comfortable.”

You’re too tired and not stupid enough to come up with a retort. You simply rub your abused snout before reaching out a hoof to feel the pillow. It was small, but incredibly soft. You shrug and lay down on the floor, resting your head on the small pillow.

“Princess Celestia,” you begin, unsure if she is adverse to you continuing, “I’m really sorry. I promise I’ll behave better from now on.”

There’s a pause while you awkwardly lay there in silence. You think about what you just said to her, realizing its implications a few seconds too late.

“Go to sleep,” she says decidedly, rolling over and using her magic to pull the sheets up to her neck.

You sigh and close your eyes. You were tired anyways. Much too tired to care if somepony was walking down the hallway or not.

“What do you think?”

A still silence envelops the room.

“I-I umm, think it looks great. Yes, it looks a-absolutely wonderful, sir!” the young, skinny stallion spews in a flurry of nervousness and inexperience.

“Shut the hell up,” a gruff voice replies from a slender stallion in a collared shirt sitting behind a mahogany desk. He levitates the cigarette from his mouth and clears his throat before looking back up to another stallion standing across from him, “What about you?”

“The piece doesn’t look bad, but it’s kind of twisted. You should retie it,” he remarks honestly. He was tall and rather chubby; almost the opposite of stallion next to him.

“Ah,” the stallion sitting behind the desk mutters, looking into a mirror at the spotted bow tie wrapped clumsily around his neck. The dim light casts shadows over his face, making his features difficult to distinguish, “Thanks, Gonzo.”

“Anytime, Sir,” Gonzo replies with a smirk down at the skinny stallion, who looks down embarrassedly.

“So,” he continues after fixing his bow tie with a bit of magic, “What’s new today?”

“Net profit is usual. Nothing major,” Gonzo starts, “Well, except for…”

“What?” the stallion asks impatiently before taking another puff of his cigarette, “What is it?”

“We’ve had another incident. There was a small riot at our camp in Baltimare and Big Ty was messed up pretty bad,” Gonzo continues somberly.

“Another riot?” he reiterates grimly after a short pause, “Any details?”

“The riot was led by the same one as last time. He got a few of them all confident and before we could get enough reinforcements, Ty was on his own against a bunch of ’em. We have that instigator kept in solitary for now, but we’re still deciding what to do wit ‘im.”

“Kill him,” the stallion replies calmly, not missing a beat.

“Oh, Medley, a-are you sure? What about-…”

“Do not call me Medley!” the stallion shrieks, standing up and psychotically smothering his cigarette out on his tongue as he walks around his desk and into the terrified presence of his subordinates.

Gonzo backs up frantically as Medley steps up to him, “Y-yes, sir! It was a slip of the tongue, I swear!”

Medley looks fiercely into his eyes from mere inches away, “Maybe your tongue wouldn’t be so slippery if I cut it off!” He screams ferociously, spittle flying onto Gonzo’s terrified expression.

The small room is silent for a moment as Medley glares unwarranted daggers at Gonzo. After a few seconds of heavy breathing, Medley begins to chuckle in a low tone, smiling almost amiably at Gonzo. Gonzo starts to nervously laugh with him for a moment before Medley suddenly looks as if he has been insulted. He then punches Gonzo with frightening velocity on the right side of his face. He falls to the ground, nearly incapacitated.

“Take care of him,” Medley orders the skinny new recruit as he walks calmly back to his chair and sits down. The skinny stallion tries his best to aid Gonzo while he lies on his side, fading in and out of consciousness.

“Anyway,” Medley continues calmly, as if nothing happened at all, “Kill the trouble maker. He’s obviously a liability and that sounds like a good way to get rid of the problem to me.” Medley takes out another cigarette and lights it with his magic.

“Tell Gonzo what I said when he stops being such a pussy, would ya?” Medley frowns down at Gonzo and the skinny grunt.

“Yes, sir.”

The first thing you notice as you wake is a ferocious cramp in your neck. You open your eyes slowly, remembering instantly that you had spent the remainder of the night in Celestia’s room, on the barren, wood floor, no less.

You lift your head slightly, seeing the pillow you had your head previously rested on, a few yards in front of you. You must’ve kicked it away or something. With a discontented groan you roll over, accidentally hitting you snout on a lower leg of Celestia’s bed frame in the process. You shouldn’t have flipped over as violently, you realize.

You’re still tired from the escapade the night before, and you think of the different ways this morning could go, none of them particularly good. You lie there for several more moments, childishly wallowing in your own misfortune as you watch a small trickle of blood run from your abused snout and onto the undoubtedly expensive floor.

“Are you going to get up and clean yourself off, or do I need to help you with that?” the deadpan yet curiously dismal voice of Luna was heard from somewhere below your gaze.

You slowly and clumsily stand up and steady yourself, your breaths quick and shallow as you try to avoid inhaling any blood.

“I’m fine,” you croak out somberly, which immediately sounds out of character for you, you realize.

You look up to Luna and see and equally somber expression adorning her features as well.

“Celestia is finishing up day court,” Luna mumbles, “I’m here to escort you to her in a few minutes, and she’ll decide from there what to do with you.”

You decide that not waking up in the dungeon was the first sign of something good. You peer out of the window without responding. The bleeding is slowly coming to a stop and Luna teleports a small towel in front of you with the unspoken order to clean up your mess. You clean it up as you would if the floor was your own and Luna teleports the towel away once it’s obvious that you’ve completed the task.

Judging from the amount of natural light flooding into the room through the large window, it’s at least ten o’clock in the morning. You look back at Luna, and she motions for you to follow her. You obediently comply. Luna’s expression is more unchanging than usual. It seems that she’s hiding her feelings under her mastered guise of professionalism.

From here on out, it’s damage control.

You are led into the throne room quietly but conspicuously, and you stand in the margin on the corridor with the younger princess while waiting for several nobles to file out of the room before approaching Celestia.

Luna leads you in front of the elder princess, and then leaves your side to stand next to her sister. There is silence between you as the last few nobles and diplomats scurry out of the room. The door shuts for a final time, creating an echoing bang through the corridor.

“I would like you to tell me what you’re thinking as present time,” Celestia requests, giving you a look similar to that of a ‘disappointed’ mother.

What?

“What?” you ask hesitantly.

“Why do you think you were brought here?” Celestia repeats slightly more impatiently. Both princesses are looking at you intently.

“Well, I um…” you trail off as your mind draws a blank. Maybe a little honesty wouldn’t hurt for once.

“I’m going to the dungeon, right? I would assume something along those lines is why I am in your presence right now,” you say slowly and awkwardly.

Celestia sighs and pauses at your response.

“I know I’ve been acting like this is a big deal, and trust me, I still don’t like it one bit,” Celestia begins, “but this has happened before. Several times actually. It doesn’t usually involve as much… violence,” she finishes in a tone of dissatisfaction, “but Prince Blueblood tends to be the center of many disagreements, as much as I hate to admit it. I figured the thought that you would be sent to the dungeon for sure and what was most likely a sleepless night for you would be enough punishment for what you did.”

You take a few moments to dwell on what she had said. It doesn’t take long for the anger to well up inside of you.

“That being said,” she continues, “The freedoms you still possess will now be almost indefinitely restricted. For one, your door will remain locked whenever you are asleep at night or anytime you are in there for an extended period of time.”

Your anger subsides when you realize that she is still the one punishing you and that the consequences could have been exponentially worse. A slight wave of relief comes over you as you think more about it.

Luna’s expression lights up a little bit, you notice. She looks far from happy, but not as sullen as before.

“I’m glad we were able to address this,” Celestia says with a sigh and a very slight grin, “Luna, if you don’t mind, could you show him back to his room. And make sure it’s locked when you leave, please.”

“Sure,” she replies simply; she seems anxious to leave, already heading towards the door before making sure that you’re in tow.

You gallop a little towards her and catch up just as you’re walking out of the door. You look back a little to make sure the door shuts all the way, and as you turn your head back, something solid suddenly hits you in the side of the face and causes you to collapse backwards against the wall.

Ow, shit!

You look up, almost too surprised to be enraged, and see Princess Luna standing there over. Not believing the most logical conclusion, you struggle to ask for confirmation of what happened.

“L-Luna, did you just…?” You stammer weakly.

“That’s for making me think you were going to the dungeon,” she replies quietly, looking in the other direction.

“I… I’m sorry, I didn’t think-…”

“No, you didn’t,” she interrupts, a little closer to full voice this time, “I obviously care about you, and you seem unable to keep yourself out of trouble. I was scared, and you didn’t seem to care. Do you just not care about your own well-being?” she asks with a sniffle, “Or maybe my sister was right in the beginning; some ponies are just bad ponies.”

Her words sink in and give you a heavy feeling. The feeling is somewhat foreign; you don’t feel it often, but from a few life experiences, you can identify it as guilt. You are undoubtedly feeling guilt for how your actions inadvertently affected Luna.

Some force compels you to heave yourself off of the floor and approach Luna from behind. She doesn’t move so you walk around to her front. You reach up and hold her in an embrace. Her eyes are watery and her cheeks are red, but you feel obligated to comfort her.

“I care about you too, Luna,” you say instinctually, “I’m so sorry if I hurt you. I promise nothing like that will happen again.”

She hesitantly returns the hug and sniffles a few more times. After a moment, she pulls you in tightly and rests her head on your shoulder. You carefully rest the bruised part of your face on the side of her neck and let out a breath you were unconsciously holding.

Part of you is wondering why you just told Princess Luna that you cared about her. Whether you actually did or not was still up for debate in your head. From a logical standpoint it seemed unlikely, from a self-preservation standpoint it seemed beneficial, and from a personal standpoint it seemed… pleasurable.

Now is not the time to be disputing with yourself about whether or not you have a crush on a pretty princess, you decide. The hug was held for nearly a few minutes before you both loosened up around the same moment.

You avoid each other’s gaze for the very short walk back to your room, until Luna speaks up as you approach the doorway.

“Thanks,” she whispers, “I needed that. I’m sorry I hit you.”

You look back up at her, “I understand. It’s okay. You’ve got one hell of an arm.”

You let out a weak chuckle and she blushes with a grin.

“Well,” she starts, “You’ll probably have to stay in your room for a couple hours. I suppose myself or somepony else will retrieve you before too long when my sister finds a use for you today.”

“That was expected,” you sigh, “I’ll see you soon, okay?” you say as you walk into your room.

“Okay,” she smiles in return just before you shut the door, smiling back at her.

When the door shuts your expression drops to one of neutrality, and after a moment of stillness, you hear the bolt slide into place and lock the door.

You turn around and stare at your bed in thought.

What the hell just happened?

Author's Note

Oh fishsticks I'm a really awful person, aren't I? I think it's been about six months since my last update 0.o? Sorry about that.
Anyway, I'm not giving up on this story by any means. It shall survive. I really have no excuse for the update being so late, but presently college recruiting for tennis is ablaze. That keeps me busy beyond reasonable standards. I can't promise any type of punctuality in future updates, but I can guarantee it won't be as bad as this last break.

As always, point out any errors in grammar/punctuation or even suggestions for the general syntax. You you see anything that interrupts the flow of reading, report it quickly so I can fix it quickly. *vault boy thumbs up*

Peace for now. (Btw i read all comments no exceptions)

Chapter 7 - The Train

This week has been kind of a bore, but things are about to get… exciting, you silently muse with a toothy, grin.

“Are you even listening?” Luna huffs, thumping you on the back of your head with her forehoof.

“Ow, hey! What was that for?” you bark in response, but she keeps her snout raised indignantly, ignoring you. You rub the back of your head, mumbling crossly, before you start following Luna once again. You notice her pout and sigh.

“I’m sorry, what were you saying?” you ask dejectedly.

“I’ve already old you twice!” she replies, “And you keep dozing off.”

“I promise I won’t anymore, please just tell me.”

You shift your gait closer to the alicorn, “Fine,” she replies, “Where was I? Oh, right, I was going over final plan for the next few days devised and edited by the CPD and Royal Guard joint commission. How far did I get before you started day-dreaming?”

You falter uncomfortably, “Think you could, uhh, start from the beginning?”

I am going to hit him, she thought with an irritated eye twitch at the floor as she walked. She instantly brightened up, however, looking over at you.

“Alright, I’ll start over,” she began with a forcefully calm smile, “After we get to the train, we’ll be taking the three hour ride to Baltimare. I’ll be in disguise with a transformation spell, of course. After you place the poker chip in the telephone booth, we’ll stay in a hotel for the night, and then we’ll meet this 'Medley' at Foin de Fantaisie for dinner the next evening.”

Luna pauses and gives you a look, probably wanting a response in order to discern whether or not you were paying any attention this time around.

You smile, “Sounds alright with me. Why are we taking the train, though? Wouldn’t a chariot be a lot faster?”

“This is an undercover mission,” she reminds you bluntly, “Do you really think flying in on a golden chariot being pulled by soldiers of the royal guard would be a good idea?”

You mentally facehoof at your own stupidity, “Yeah, yeah, I get it. Please, continue.”

“Well,” she continues as you turn a corner and stop just before a door, “Once we’re at dinner, hopefully discussing business, all we need is verbal proof, and then we can move in for the arrest: a basic sting operation. It’s been a while since I’ve done this,” she admits.

You shoot her a quizzical glance, “You’ve done this before?”

Luna grins, “Twice before; although, it’s been a couple hundred years. I might need a little refresher on deception. However…” Luna’s grin widens. “I still have my disguise.”

Luna’s horn produces a blue aura and you start to ask what she’s doing before her entire body is enveloped in a white glow, silencing you with your mouth still agape and eyes squinted.

The shape of her body shrinks and changes until it’s the recognizable shape of a mare slightly taller than yourself. As the light fades, you fully open your eyes and close your mouth as you examine Luna’s disguised form for the first time. However, your jaw drops again as you get a good look at her.

Luna – as she stands before you – appears as a maroon colored pegasus, her coat finely accented by a pink mane and tail. Oddly enough, you notice that her body structure is similar to that of Fleur Dis Lee, a widely known supermodel from Manehatten. Her eyes match her red coat, and her cutie mark consists of a pair of cherries, like one might see printed on a slot machine in Las Pegasus.

You find yourself staring and quickly shake your head with a blush rapidly forming on your cheeks. You look back up to see her looking towards you with a cheeky grin.

“You like?” Luna asked in sultry tone before laughing at your embarrassment. Her voice apparently remained unchanged from the transformation, “You can call me Cherry Blossom while im in this form. Don’t get too used to it; I’ll only be like this for a couple days.”

“R-Right,” you squeak out before clearing your throat, “Shouldn’t we get going?”

“Yes, you are right,” she replies and leads you through the door and into a foyer of sorts.

You shut the door behind you and look around the room. Inside the large foyer is a prepared looking arrangement of ponies, including somepony who appeared to be a royal soldier minus the golden armor, two unknown ponies, one with a brown coat and the other with a purple, and much to your displeasure, you glared over at Shining Armor, who was glaring back at you. You approach him slowly.

“I see you’re tagging along to make sure Nopony has any fun,” you comment rudely.

“This isn’t a vacation, you foal,” he growled back authoritatively.

“Enough,” Luna sighs, stepping up next to you.

“This is Spy Glass,” Luna introduced, motioning towards the unicorn with a brown coat and black mane, “And this is Amethyst Shield,” she continued, pointing to the earth pony with a light purple coat and stark white mane and hooves, “They are members of the CPD, and they will be joining us for the operation.”

Luna then faced the white unicorn. “Over here, from the Royal Guard, is Iron Wing.” He nods and grunts and you reply with a curt bow and grin.

“For all who are unaware, the name accompanying my disguise is Cherry Blossom,” she announces next, “And now that we are all acquainted, unless there are any questions, let’s get going.”

She looks around presently, and with no pony speaking up, she nods, “Right.”

You give out and exaggerated groan and slump back in your seat, “Are we there yet?” you whine.

“One more time… Ask that one more time, and I’ll break your snout,” Shining Armor threatens. Luna puts a sympathetic hoof on his shoulder to calm him down.

“It’s been twenty-five minutes,” Amethyst says calmly from the seat next to you, staring out the window.

You sit in a four person booth, disconnected from the main walkway by a curtain, with Amethyst Shield next you, taking the window seat, and Shining Armor across from you, seated next to the enticingly disguised Luna.

“Whatever,” Shining mumbles before standing up, “I’m going to find Spy and Iron.”

You’re not entirely sure where Spy Glass or Iron Wing went, but they seemed like good buddies and you guess they found a booth for themselves. Shining armor stood up and walked out of the booth silently.

Amethyst chuckles a bit, but looks inquisitive when you glace over at him, “What exactly have you done to Captain Shining Armor to get his temper so short with you?”

You pause in thought. A flashback of you and Shining Armor outside of a mailroom, rolling on the floor and throwing punches and kicking at each other in a frenzy of malice. Several more images play through your head of multiple insults, comebacks, threats, and so on.

“I have no idea,” you reply with a straight face, “He must’ve just woken up on the wrong side of the bed.”

Luna reacts to your answer with a deadpan stare and mental facehoof at the wall across from her, and Amethyst merely shrugs.

You groan inwardly out of frustration after a few minutes of boredom, knowing that you had nearly two and a half more hours of this torture.

“Well I’m going to find the, uhh… bathroom,” you lie, standing up to go explore the train, hopefully unaccompanied.

Luna gives you a side-glance of skepticism, while Amethyst seems unconcerned, giving you slight wave of his hoof. Taking Luna’s verbal silence as permission, you quickly exit the booth.

“Are you going to follow him?” Amethyst asks calmly, keeping his gaze wandering across the rapidly changing scenery outside the window.

Luna sighs, “I’ll let him be on his own for now,” she uncomfortably decides.

You continue down the center walkway until you reach the next car. Seeing as Luna provided the group with first-class seating, you aren’t surprised to find a bar as you walk through the door. Only two ponies sat at the row of bar stools and a large, scruffy stallion stood silently behind the bar, cleaning a wine glass with a rag.

One of the bars occupants is a pink-coated mare who appears to be in her mid-twenties. You sit near her with one empty stool between you, and the bar tender perks up at you but says nothing.

“Got any Balveneigh?” you ask.

“Plenty.”

“With a splash of water, please,” you add.

He walks over to you slowly, not bothering to stop cleaning the glass, “I’m going to need to see some ID, sir.”

You pause for a few moments, “Actually, I think I’ll just have some ginger ale.”

“Wise thought,” he mumbles, setting the glass down to get you your drink.

The mare chuckles slightly in amusement and you glance over to her, “Now how would a little colt like you know anything about scotch?” she smiles playfully.

“Who’re you calling a colt? Twenty-two is way too old of a drinking age,” you jest with a grin as the bartender sets the soda on the counter in front of you.

“It’s that way because of colts like you,” the bartender mumbles as he walks away.

“I’m Rose,” the pink mare says.

You reply with your own name and smile, “Where ya headed, Rose?”

“Baltimare,” she replies, “You?”

“Same,” you say before taking a drink, “What’s in Baltimare?”

“Oh, um, business, I suppose,” she giggles. You’re not sure what she thinks is funny, but you blame it on the champagne she’s drinking.

“Are you celebrating?” you motion towards the drink in her hand.

“In a way,” she chuckles again, moving to the stool in between you, “I got a promotion. That’s what I’m doing in Baltimare. Ya’ know, they’ve got some great museums in Baltimare. I’ll be the Curator and of contemporary art at the Baltimare Museum of Art. You should stop by sometime,” Rose smiles.

You blush unnoticeably, “I’ll only be there a few days, but I’ll be sure to visit.”

“What are you going to Baltimare for?” she asks curiously, leaning her forelegs on the bar.

“Oh, well, I-…” you’re response is cut off by a feminine outcry.

“Somepony help!” the voice yelled, “He stole my purse!”

That came from the car I was just in… you realize, looking over in that direction.

You hear Shining Armor’s voice just a moment later, “Who did, miss?” he asks quickly.

“I don’t know, he snatched it and was gone!”

Her reply confuses you, but you down the last bit of your drink before turning to Rose, “I’ll be right back.”

Rose nods and you walk over to the door to the other car. You hear the distressed mare spouting off random observations to Shining as he tries to help her calm down. You open the door but hesitate in stepping into the car. Standing in the center walkway is Shining Armor, Luna, Amethyst Shield, and the distraught victim – a purple pegasus mare with a similarly colored mane. All those present are currently staring at you as you stand in the open doorway.

“That’s him!” the purple mare suddenly shrieks.

You panic and take a step back, “W-What!?”

Shining’s steely glare hardens on you and he begins to trot towards you. You hear hoofsteps behind you also as you realize Rose had stood up and was coming towards you. Shining Armor growls out your name as he approaches and you back away from him, nearly running backwards into Rose.

The irate victim galloped up behind Shining as he trotted, “It’s him! He’s the one who took my purse.”

“Look lady, I didn’t steal your damn purse!” you shout back.

“That’s right, he’s been at the bar with me the entire time,” Rose advances forward to your side.

Shining Armor falters and takes a moment to think. You and Rose stand just inside the bar, facing the purple pegasus and Shining Armor. The others watch curiously from behind.

“M-Miss, are you sure this is the stallion that stole your purse?” Shining asked again.

The mare looks a little taken aback and glares at Shining, “I already told you he is, didn’t I? Just who are you, anyway?”

“I’m Captain Shining Armor of the royal guard. He’s with me and we’re on our way to Baltimare.”

The mare looks stunned at first but then her glare returns just as quickly, “Yeah, right. Why would the captain of the royal guard be travelling to Baltimare with this kid? I bet you’re his partner in crime! Just what are you going to Baltimare for?”

Shining looks uncertain for a split second, “That’s classified, miss.”

The mare immediately scoffs and turns to leave, “I’m calling the authorities on both of you.”

Shining grunts in frustration and cuts her off, “We are the authorities, miss,” Shining said a bit more adamantly as he showed her his badge, “and I promise that we will find your purse and catch whoever did this.”

You mentally groan, realizing Shining Armor had just enlisted your help as well.

The purple mare falters as she examines the badge, and her gaze softens, “I’m sorry, I guess I’m still a little shocked. I’ll trust you.”

Shining smiles, “Alright, we’ll start looking right away.”

“Where do we start?” you ask casually, getting ready to aid in the investigation.

Shining looks you up and down, “I… really think it would be best if you sat this one out,” he says a bit timidly.

You eye him for a moment, but realize arguing could ruin your credibility with others present, “Are you serious?”

“Yes,” he says a little more adamantly, “Go wait with Cherry Blossom in the booth. We’ll get you if we need your help.”

Rose anxiously shifts around for a second and you look over to her and smile, “I’ll see you once all this blows over.”

She smiles back, “Alright.”

You sit in the booth with Luna across from you, keeping her eyes on you. You sigh and lay down across your seat, closing your eyes.

“Is this really necessary?” you ask, “You know I could be helpful out there.”

Luna looks out the window and replies, “I’d be betraying Shining Armor’s trust if I let you leave.”

A voice outside of the booth catches both of your attention, “Princ- ah, um, Cherry Blossom? Could I speak with you privately for a moment?” Shining Armor’s voice calls through the curtain.

Speak of the devil and he doth appear and almost blow your bucking cover.

Luna glances at you and then to the curtain, “I’ll be right there,” she replies before looking back to you again, “I will be just outside the booth, so don’t try to leave.”

Luna exits the booth and you slump your head in frustrated defeat. That is until the proverbial light bulb appears above your head and you grin deviously over at the booth’s window. With a cursory glance side to side, you stand up and approach the window, opening it by sliding the lock and pulling the two swinging halves inward. The whooshing air isn’t loud enough to catch anypony’s attention, so you stick your head out and look around.

There’s a small decorative platform just under the window, running the entire length of the car and the train. It appears to be about the width of your hoof, and you hesitate before stepping halfway out.

This is going to be tricky, you contemplate.

You hear a snippet of Shining and Luna’s conversation, reminding you that you have a limited window of opportunity. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, hardening your expression.

You induce yourself into an adrenaline-craving mindset, determined to show whoever caused the purple mare to accuse you of such a mediocre attempt at thievery that nopony messes with a real thief. You are an artist, damn it!

Concentrate. Focus. Calm...

Rule number one: Do not hesitate. Efficiency is essential.

You step out onto the ledge and stand up on your hind legs in one swift motion.

You wiggle for balance and grunt as you lean with the train to counterbalance the wind threatening to topple you backwards. You reach back inside the booth and pull the window shut again, rattling the frame until the lock slides into the place.

Rule number two: Cover your tracks. Err on the side of caution.

With the window locked, you have no choice but to move forward, shuffling towards the bar car with a smile on your face. You keep your back and forelegs pressed against the vibrating and rattling train car.

You eventually make your way to the end of the car and have to make the small gap. It would have been an easily makeable step if the cars weren’t rattling out of sync, but life isn’t fair, you suppose.

You take the first step quickly, dividing your body in between two unequally moving platforms. You immediately realize how difficult it is to balance like this, so you take a small jump to get your entire body onto the next cart, coming uncomfortably close to disrupting your stability.

Your heart beats incredibly fast and a few drops of sweat fall from your brow and are immediately swept away by the wind and into the dusty atmosphere, augmented by the barren desert-like terrain.

However, you do not take the moment to relax.

Rule number three: Stay alert. One second of ignorance could be one second too late.

You grit your teeth and look forward, seeing that there are no windows on the bar car, and that the next opening is on the next passenger car.

Suddenly, your attention is drawn to a spot about a mile ahead on the track, where the track itself seemed to completely end at a very large rock. Your heart skips a beat, almost making you choke.

A-… A tunnel! you mentally scream with wide eyes.

Judging by your speed, you had about a minute to make it to the next window, or else risk the tunnel being too narrow to fit you as well as the train, and under no circumstances did you envision a shoving match with the train ending well.

The atmosphere turns silent, and with the slightest trace of a grin, you push forward as quickly as possible.

“Thank you for the update, Captain,” Luna says as she turns around to enter the booth again.

She walks through the curtain, eyes already moving to the spot where you once sat, “That took a little longer than I thought-…”

Luna’s eyes widen and she rubs them frantically for moment before looking around once again.

She calls out your name, looking under cushions and anywhere else she thought you could fit. After a few minutes of unsuccessful searching, a pang of realization hits her. She stares at the window and hesitates for a moment.

The only reason she didn’t think of it earlier was because the window was closed and latched, but then she remembered who she was dealing with.

Oh Celestia no.

She trots urgently to the window and undoes the latch, pulling the two sides inward and sticking her head out. She looks backwards, seeing nothing but the caboose of the train, and then to the front, what she saw making her heart feel like a lump of ice.

She sees you clinging to the side of the train two cars down, along with the rapidly approaching tunnel. She opens her mouth to call to you, but only terrified gasps come out. By the time she regains her voice, she realizes that distracting you may be the worst thing she could do at that moment, so she chooses to hold her tongue for the moment.

Her mouth hangs open as your window of opportunity steadily declines. The tunnel is only a couple seconds away, and Luna leans out of the car and yells out your name, but her voice is lost to the wind.

One quarter of a second before the tunnel would have hit, your figure jumps forward and swings back into the train through a window. Luna immediately closes the window and drops down to the floor, her back against the wall. She breathes heavily, her eyes watery from a mixture of extreme anxiousness and the wind blowing in her face.

“Rule number four: Remain calm! Letting yourself be distracted could kill you!” you say through gritted teeth.

You lunge forward, and in two swift kicks, latch onto the top window sill and kick the window open below you while entering. Luckily, the window’s latch broke and swung inwards, rather than the glass shattering into the car. You feel a blast of air hit your back as the train enters the tunnel, the side of the rocky cave coming uncomfortably close to shaving the back of your head.

You hear an abbreviated feminine scream upon entering, which you ignore for the moment, dropping down onto the floor and leaning against the wall, panting fanatically with your eyes closed.

Rule number five and the final rule: Have fun!

After you catch your breath, you smile and stand up, closing the window before you turn around.

You yelp and fall back onto your haunches when you see a pony already occupying the booth, but your features soften when you see who realize it’s Rose. Rather than being terrified or worried, she sits there smiling smugly at you.

“Spill the beans,” Rose smiles, “Who are you?”

You lift yourself up with a groan and grin, “I believe I’ve already introduced myself, Rose.”

She looks up at your mane and giggles, and you know that the wind probably did something funky to it.

“I know your name, but I still don’t know who you are,” she clarifies.

“Oh, me?” you ask, “I’m just a little colt who can’t get any scotch.”

She rolls her eyes and you get up to make your way to exit the booth.

“Hey, where are you going?” Rose huffs.

“Well, are you going to help me catch a thief or not?”

You went quickly at first, so you could stay one step ahead of Shining Armor in their search for the missing purse.

The search was unfruitful for the first several minutes. You searched in every nook and cranny for that purse, invading some strangers’ personal space while you were at it, but it never turned up.

You sigh as you walk into the next and one of the last cars. Upon entering, however, you hear a call for help. You step into the main walkway quickly and look for the source of the plea.

“Somepony stop him!” a mare’s voice cries out.

An instant later you see a blackish-gray, medium sized stallion, exit the booth where the mare’s voice came from. He’s starts to run in your direction, looking behind him where the irate mare stood, peeking out of the booth in shock and anger.

“I got you!” you say, charging at him head on.

“Huh?” he says in shock, looking up and attempting to skid to a halt on his hooves.

Your determination falters and you attempt to stop as well, both of you looking into each other’s eyes in confusion and slight horror. It was like you were staring in a mirror, looking at a picture perfect image of yourself holding a golden-yellow handbag in your mouth.

“Wait, you’re-…!” you barely yell out before you crash, both of you tumbling backwards, nearly bowling over Rose in the process.

While you two are regaining your cognition, on the floor in a daze, you hear a loud noise as the door from the last train car opens and in floods an indiscernible amount of ponies.

The first voice you can distinguish is Shining Armor’s calling out your name in frustration, “Where the hay have you been? Oh, uh… whoa.”

Your disorientation fades and you look up at him, “What is it? Is it my mane? I guess I should’ve fixed it before-…”

“Why, you!” an angry voice from your left suddenly cuts you off.

In a split second, your doppelganger is on top of you, pinning you to the floor, “What are you doing Captain? Arrest him!”

You look over to Shining Armor in horror, noticing Luna, Iron Wing, and Spy Glass for the first time as well, “What the-… Hell no, he’s the fake!” you shout back, trashing until your attacker is forced to step off of you.

You lunge at the fake you and grapple with him for leverage while the other ponies seem to be discussing something among themselves, huddled in a circle.

“I could use my magic to detect and transformation spell, but it would unwise while I am in this form,” Luna whispers to the huddled group that was struggling to come up with a course of action.

Your copy gets the upper hand for a moment, and plants a kick firmly into your gut, knocking the breath out of you and making you wheeze. You respond with a forehoof straight to his eye. He cries out in pain and falls backward.

“There appears to be a fake one,” Shining points out, “With my magic, I could probably hold them still for about thirty seconds. Do you think we can decipher who is who in that time?”

You approach the clone to take advantage of his impaired state as he holds his hoof over his eye, but you underestimate his abilities. When you’re just near enough, he plants a firm buck to your chest, sending you backwards with a pained yelp, giving him the advantage.

“It’s the best option we have so far,” Iron Wing replies, “I think we should go for it.”

Your doppelganger runs in to take advantage of his opportunity, but in a burst of rage, you cry out and side step his lunging punch. You grab his hoof in yours and pin him to the ground, standing on his back but holding his foreleg backwards up in the air, clamping a pressure point in his hoof.

“You pretty fond of this leg?” you pant.

He decides to call your bluff, “You wouldn’t!” he barks. It was strange hearing your own voice come from somepony else.

Spy Glass turns away from his huddled position to observe, “By the looks of it, we should hurry.”

Everypony turns in your direction just in time to see your sadistic glare, thoroughly provoked into a state of anger.

*SNAP*

“Oh, shit…” Shining Armor whispers, stunned.

Your clone emits a blood-curdling scream that no doubt calls the attention of everypony in the car, causing some of them to peek their heads out of their booths in curiosity. Shining seems to be the first to recover from his shocked stupor and ensnares both of you in a levitation spell.

“O-Okay, I’m going to ask you one question to decipher the real from the fake,” Shining Armor starts hoarsely before clearing his throat.

“How many months have I been married?”

Your heart sinks for a moment before you fill with anger, “How the hell am I supposed to know that!? Like I would pay enough attention to you to know something so ridiculous!”

“That’s an easy one, Captain,” your clone with his foreleg lying limp to his side smiles and winces, “You have been married to Princess Cadance for four months.”

Why would he ask a question like that? you think seriously, anypony who pays enough attention could remember the number of months since the royal wedding.

“No, no, no! You don’t understand-…!” you begin to plead, only to be interrupted as Shining shoots a blue and white beam of magic at your doppelganger, “Huh? H-How?”

“The question didn’t matter,” Shining replies with a steely gaze at the copy, “the real you would never call me ‘Captain’.”

You sigh and grin as you are released from the magic, turning to your clone, who is interestingly shimmering like a mirage until the waviness fades and there appears a medium sized unicorn who looks to be in his twenties. He has a white coat and gray mane, and he holds onto the shoulder of his broken foreleg, writhing in distress.

Shining Armor approaches you, and you perk up, waiting to be greeted; however, you receive a punch to the face. You seethe and look back up at him angrily.

“Hey, we already know I’m the real one!” you bark.

“You’re absolutely horrible. For starters, he’s going to get off free for brutality with a broken leg. But even worse, you completely lack any decency or sense of mercy!” he scolds you. You sit there, stunned for a moment. You had never realized that doing something like that could have consequences.

“Nothing good can come from showing mercy,” you retort, “It can get you killed.”

Shining doesn’t back off, “Maybe in your filthy line of work.”

You purse your lips and prepare to argue, but then just growl and trot quickly out of the car, pouting your way back to the booth that you started in at the beginning of the train ride.

“I think I’ll go make sure he’s okay,” Luna says gently.

Shining approaches the incapacitated, groaning thief, “We’ll need to meet the authorities in Baltimare upon arriving and have this stallion shown to a hospital in police custody. That really doesn’t look like fun,” he remarks, frowning at the unfortunate unicorn’s foreleg that’s sticking up in the air at an awkward angle, “In any case, I’d like to get some information before we arrive.”

You plop down on the seat of the booth, pouting as you mull over what Shining Armor told you.

Lack of decency? Horseapples! He was the enemy, for Celestia’s sake.

You hear Luna softly say your name from just outside the curtain, “I think we should talk.”

Author's Note

There she is, boys. Another chapter I think imma start naming the chapters, cuz chapter one, chapter two, etc. is sounding really boring. As promised, the break in between chapters wasn't as bad as last time. I was considering stopping this chapter at an intense cliff hanger, but considering my proclivity to update in random(sometimes quite long(oops sorry)) intervals, I loved ya'll too much for that.

I start school in a week. That's fun. Not really. School can go buck itself. Still got like 500837 hours of summer work left. Although, I will be an official high-school senior (bow to me peasants...I mean...if that's okay with you).

On a happier note, I love you all ;)

It's also 4am.

Also, if anyone knows an easy way to upload a chapter with all kinds of italics and bold and shit, please PM me, because the way I'm doing it now is a pain in the arse and I think I'm doing it wrong.

and as per usual criticism is appreciated thank you ;) :* ;D