In Cloudsdale they say "To Forget is to Fail" I don't know what that means anymore. I used to, at least I think I did once. Somepony once told me, "if you fail to forget then you forget to fail." I don't know why those words hold so much meaning here. I think they were important to somepony or maybe to everypony.
I don't even know where I am, or how I got this journal. I didn't bring it with me, that would have been a stupid mistake. After all we knew we weren't supposed to be here. Celestia knows what would have happened if we got caught.
Though I'm beginning to think it'd have been better then this. I'm not sure it could be worse.I heard it again, the grinding of machinery that sounds like the screams of little fillies. How does a machine mimic that sound so perfectly. For that matter where in the buck is that machine. Nothings been on in here for decades, and nothing was on when I walked in.
Stupid dare, stupid Marshy, stupid factory. Ouch, who the buck leaves a rusted saw blade lying around? It isn't rusted is it? No that's not rust on it, it's too dark, and what idiotic pony is wandering around in here besides me. I know I heard hoofsteps. I should leave. Tartarus knows I want to leave. I tried to leave a few times before. Maybe if I find the other pony they can lead me out. It's been hours, I keep hearing hoofsteps and wingflaps but I never get any closer. When I called out I swear I heard singing. I recognized the tune but couldn't make out the words. Why were they singing? Who could sing in such a dreary place?
I think I fell asleep. I can't be sure anymore. I dreamed. I dreamed of a normal day at flight school. Marshy made fun of my poor form again. He didn't mean anything by it though, he just wants me to improve.
There it is again, the machines are awake. They're screaming still. Why are they screaming? Are they lost too?
I don't remember writing that last part. I don't think I did. But if I didn't then did the other pony find me when I slept, did they write something in here? Why didn't they wake me? Why wouldn't they help me?
There they were! I saw the shadow this time. I'm not sure they're a pony though and now I'm afraid to follow them. Still it's got to be better then waiting here. I'm getting hungry, I don't know how long I've been here.
I followed as long as I could, I chased them for what felt like forever. My legs won't hold me up anymore though. I can't take it. I hate this place.
I screamed at it to let me out. I think it screamed back. It must have just been an echo. It can't have actually said "let us out" right? right.
I made it. I made it to the machine, the one that's on. I found it. Just like I was supposed to. It's not on now though, why isn't it on. It made that horrible screech so often, it can't just be off right?
I can hear the singing again and now I know the song. It's a terrible song, it's a warning, it's a cruel joke, it's everything I don't want to hear right now. Stop it, Stop It. STOP SINGING!!
It hasn't stopped I've been sitting staring at this machine for days now, I think it's been days. I wake up and I hear the singing. I close my eyes and I hear the song. I touch the machine and I hear the screams. The screams drown out the song. Not exactly an improvement but I'll take what I can get.
I found a basket of apples next to me when I woke up. They weren't fresh picked but they weren't rotten either. Someone has to be here, and they know where the food is. I still can't find the source of the singing. It hasn't stopped, I'm not sure it will ever stop. The machine's screaming is becoming a welcome respite. I'm starting to prefer the screams of fillies to music.
I tried to leave the machine. I wanted to be somewhere else. I wanted to go home. I wandered the halls but as I did the singing got louder and darker. Somehow the song became more ominous. I went as far as I dared but eventually I ran back to my beautiful machine.
Only something was wrong. I touched it and it didn't sing. It was silent and the screaming continued around me. I need it to sing, it can't be silent. It's the only thing drowning out the screams.I can't take it, the screaming is constant now. I need my music back. I need my machine to sing for me some more. How do I make it sing? There has to be a way to make it sing again right?
I found something, I found the control panels. I turned on my gorgeous friend. She woke up, and she sang for a minute but then she stopped. I tried to get her started again and I couldn't. The screaming is following me now. I try and move away from where I hear it and it's always moving closer.
I found another basket of apples today when I woke. This one had a note on it. "Need voice" I don't know why I didn't think of that before. My friend can't sing because she doesn't have her voice and I need to give it back to her. Or at least a close replica.
I pressed myself next to my friend and tried to cover my ears against the screaming. It didn't work. I needed her to sing, I wanted her song back, but she needs a little fillies voice. I don't know how I'm supposed to get one when I can't leave and no one has come in. Aside from whoever keeps leaving these baskets. Even if I found a filly in here I don't know how to give my friend their....It's a pony, it's an actual pony. Thank Celestia.
She didn't help me, she didn't even acknowledge me. She just stared at me and then she walked away. That arrogant blue mule how can she have just left me here. I need help. I need to get something. I need to get something important, something I needed when I came in here.
I need a filly or at least her voice, that's right. I forgot to bring one for my friend. She needs it to
help her sing. She wants to drown out those screams they're not healthy, they remind her of her
failures.
Fillies are outside of here, but I can't leave my friend to suffer alone. She suffers enough as it is
having to listen to this infernal screaming all the time.
As we stood outside watching I realized what we had done, the truth of it, the cruelty and the neccessity all at once. I wondered then, is this what dad intended when he told me of the old dares of the old tests of mettle. Did he know we'd use something so dark, did he expect us to come here. No, I don't think he did. I just want someone else to be at fault. I want this not to weigh us down. We all agreed, we all worked at it, and so whatever happens is on all of us now.
She was only supposed to go in, find something from inside to prove she explored a little and then come back out. She hasn't though. It's been two hours and the doors haven't moved, there's been no sound of her no sign that she's come back.
Maybe the factory was emptied out more then we thought, maybe it was hard to find something in there and she had to go further then we thought. She isn't a strong flyer and would likely walk or run most of the way. As timid as she is I didn't think she'd actually enter. I thought she'd get to the door and run off. We'd tease her about it for a while and then it'd be done.
She didn't though. She went in, she went in to that waiting maw, that gaping darkness that begs little fillies to come back. That metal collossus that once devoured innocence so that it could spew out beauty. She was my friend and I think I may have fed her to a monster.
"How long do we wait Marshal?" a voice slow and methodic snapped me from my own thoughts. I looked over at Thunder Beats his dark blue coat and feathers almost matching the dusk sky. I shook my head trying to clear it. "We wait as long as we can. If we have to tell the adults..." I let the consequences hang in the air. Both Thunder and Haze looked at each other then at me and settled back as their minds went to how bad that could be.
We all watched the door intently. We had a curfew in an hour and maybe another half before it'd be suspicious that we didn't make it home. I kept watching, kept looking for her. Wanting to see some sign of the door opening. A little voice in the back of my mind kept saying it was my responsibility and I should go in, go in, find her, bring her out.
'We protect our own' that was what dad always said. These three, Thunder, Haze, and Melody. They are my own. Even so, I can't bring myself to go into there. The songs play in my head. The reminders that it's more then most ponies think. It corrupted an element of harmony. The element of loyalty herself was broken by this place. What chance does one little colt have of fighting whatever is in there?
Haze looked over at Thunder then at me. "Should we go in and find her? We're running low on time." Thunder Beats cleared his throat "If you want to I'll keep guard at the door and distract any adults that come." Haze snorted and gave a slight smirk. "Really Beats, afraid of a bit of metal and clanking of our own hooves?" I could hear the hitch in his taunt though. The little catch between a and fraid. Haze Grinder, he really did live up to his families name. Always grinding on others. Not intentionally but just good at saying the wrong thing.
Thunder gave a heavy snort "Of course not, but I am afraid of what the adults will do if they find two colts and a filly wandering around that factory. If I'm out here I can claim I came alone and maybe keep them distracted." That fear was in his voice too, more apparent though. They both looked at me. I could see the expectation, the need for me to weigh in on the subject. Times like this I hated my name. Marshal Order, what a joke. I'm not a leader, I don't keep things orderly, and I most certainly don't want to be responsible for this.
Dad always said that leaders rarely get the choice. Ponies will follow them, against the wishes of the pony leading. Sometimes against their own survival instincts even. Is that what happened here? Did I lead a little filly to go against her better judgement with a stupid dare? Could I lead these colts to go into a place of such darkness and despair to rectify a mistake all three of us made? Dad wouldn't hesitate a moment, this was our mistake and ours to fix. I'm not dad though.
"No, we wait here. If she hasn't come out in another 15 we go to the door we yell into there and hope she can follow our voices. None of us goes into there though. The fact she isn't back means we bucked up. There's more to the stories and those horrid songs then we thought." I sat down to watch and wait for only a little longer. My two friends did the same and I could see the tension in there muscles ease. Was it that easy to relax them. Just give a definitive plan and act like I knew what was going on, or were they simply relieved to not be entering that building?
