Author's Note
BIG WARNING LABEL: The content of this story contains severely offensive humor. I recommend not reading this at all unless you're either one of my friends or impossible to offend.
Misfits
"It's almost time to go, Spike," Twilight told her young dragon friend.
"You know when Rainbow Dash says ten minutes, she probably means a hundred."
"Not if she doesn't want us to leave before she gets here."
"True."
"Wearing your trench coat tonight?"
"I'm the vampire of the group, right? Better if I at least look the part."
"You and your wit."
Spike cracked a grin.
"It's cold out, so it's probably a good thing I've got my hoodie."
"I swear; with those things on, you and Rainbow look like twins."
"Except I don't hit on you every time I see you."
"I still don't know if that would be weird or not."
"Hard to tell. You came from an egg, so we don't really share any DNA, but I'm technically your legal guardian."
"Yeah. That's a sticky situation."
"Eh. We'll figure it out."
A horn honked outside as they finished their conversation.
"Time for some food," spike said excitedly.
Both of them rushed out the door.
"What's up, nerds!? Get in!"
Spike and Twilight hopped into the back seat of the truck. Fluttershy was there in a dark sweater, and Applejack was in the front passenger seat with a t-shirt. Twilight opened the back window to talk to Pinkie and Rarity. Pinkie was also in a shirt with the addition of sweatbands on her forelegs, and Rarity wore her leather jacket and choker combo.
"Hey, Rarity, are you ready to look fabulous!?"
"Absolutely, darling!"
Rainbow set her eyes on Spike in a playfully seductive manner.
"How's my favorite little dragon doing?"
"Uh...Fine..."
"Rainbow, stop being a pedo," Twilight pretended to scold. Pinkie heard this and burst out laughing.
"Aw! You never let me have any fun."
"Give it a few years, then you can have all the fun you want."
Pinkie's fit of laughter escalated.
"By the way," Rainbow mentioned, "I scored four new records from the local shop. Look 'em over and tell me what sounds good."
She gave Twilight the compact discs. Twilight started naming them off.
"'Sleeping beneath the ashes of creation by End This Day, deafened art of bleeding secrets automated on deadlines by Cast From Eden, I am the end by Coma Eternal, and everything I touch falls to pieces by Dead to Fall.'"
"All of those came out when we were kids. They don't make a lot of stuff like that anymore. The most recent record I have is probably shadows are security, and that came out almost thirteen years ago."
"Which one do you guys think we should play first?"
The vote was unanimous. First up was everything I touch falls to pieces. Rainbow Dash ignited the engine and popped it into the car's CD player. She cranked it up so Pinkie and Rarity could hear.
"We're, like, the only ones who still buy CDs these days," she stated as she started driving.
"We need to be figurin' out what we wanna' eat," Applejack reminded them, "I could go for a burger and shake right about now."
"That sound good to you guys?"
"Yeah," they all agreed.
"Burgers and shakes it is, then."
Rainbow rolled down the windows as the first song started.
"When I try to turn away from that image, I have failed those I've created in my own image! I have crumbled! I say in a small and frail voice 'I will not fall'! And under the pressure of her gaze, I say "I will not crumble"!
I will not fall!
I will not crumble!
I will not fall!
I will not crumble!"
Everyone in the truck was headbanging by the time they reached the restaurant. They'd gotten to the third song "Graven Image" and liked the sound of the record so much they finished the track before exiting the vehicle.
"Wow! That was amazing! Why don't records like that come out anymore?"
"Because everybody wanted to whine about the production and how they 'ripped off' melodic death metal bands, but let's be real here; every melodic death metal band ripped off In Flames and At The Gates."
"Sounds like Rarity," Applejack sniggered.
"Rude," Rarity muttered.
"Hey, Twilight, I'm starving," Spike brought up.
"Come on, guys. Let's go in," Twilight told her friends.
"There has to be somebody out there still making melodic hardcore metal," Twilight argued, "Once something has a cult following, it sticks around in the underground."
"I've heard there are a few legit projects going on right now. Word has it there's a band called Renounced overseas that's reinventing the 90s hardcore metal sound. Another band from here called Drawing Last Breath mixes more melodeath influence in like the bands we listen to. There are some other ones too, like Show Your Teeth and McClane."
"My point stands, then."
"Does anyone else feel like making a pretty red waterfall on their necks right now," Rarity asked.
"Totally," Pinkie responded.
"Wow. We're messed up, aren't we," Rainbow laughed.
"I won't even point out the irony of that statement," Applejack interjected.
"You're one of us too, country bumpkin."
"I know, I know."
"We should go back to my place when we're done," Twilight suggested.
"Been lookin' to read some new comics," Rainbow agreed.
"I've built up a nice collection of horror games. Maybe we can even stream some tonight."
"I'm down."
The crew continued to eat and chat for a bit.
On the way back to Twilight's house, they resumed the CD and started headbanging again. About halfway there, Spike noticed something outside the window.
"Hey guys, there's a homeless dude out there!"
Rainbow paused the CD and stopped the car.
"We should go check on him," she told everyone.
"Mm," they concurred.
They all got out of the car and went over to him. He was an elderly looking earth pony.
"Hey buddy. You okay?"
"Sorry. I didn't mean to be in the way."
"You're not in the way. We just wanted to check up on you."
"I'm alright."
"Me and my friends were on our way home. Are you hungry?"
"Yeah..."
"AJ, can you drive everybody back and get him something?"
"Sure thing."
"I'll stay here until you guys get back."
"Spike, will you stay here too," Twilight asked her friend, "I don't want anybody trying to hassle them."
"Say no more. You can count on me."
"Thanks."
She gave him a peck on the cheek and everyone besides Spike and Rainbow Dash got back in the truck.
"How long have you been out here?"
"About ten years..."
"I'm sorry, man. It's gotta' be rough."
"It's not all doom and gloom. Every once and a while, I'll meet good Samaritans like yourselves."
"We're glad to help."
"I appreciate it."
"So, what's your story?"
"Pretty much lost my job. My wife took the kids and left. Started fallin' behind on my bills and it just went downhill from there."
"We've got a little money. If you want, we could probably get you a hotel room for a couple nights."
"Really? You'd do that for me?"
"It's the least we can do."
"Thank you."
"Don't mention it."
"Did your dragon friend fall asleep?"
"He's got mild depression. He'll doze off from time to time if he doesn't keep himself occupied. It's how he deals with it I guess."
"Do you think he's a suicide risk?"
"That purple Alicorn we were with is his guardian. Her name is Twilight. She's always checking up on him. I don't think she'll let anything happen to him."
"I'm glad he's got someone to look out for him."
"We all do. I'll occasionally pretend to flirt with him from time to time to make everybody laugh."
"He's a bit young, isn't he?"
"That's just how we joke around. We have dark senses of humor. Sometimes my friends will call me a pedo and I'll laugh at it because we know it's not true."
"Can't say that type of humor is my cup of tea. Then again, I'm an old guy."
"Different strokes for different folks, right? Besides, we have massive respect for all kinds of humor. It's one of the ways we get through the day."
"Can't argue with you there."
"Regardless of what our beliefs are and how we live, one thing takes precedent over all else; doing the right thing, and the right thing for us is to keep each other and everyone else smiling, even during the worst times."
"I've always heard of someone having a good head on their shoulders, but I think a good heart is what really matters."
"I think so too."
As they finished exchanging thoughts, Rainbow and Spike's friends returned.
"How are things here," Twilight asked.
"Your friend has insight I wouldn't expect from a youngin'. I suspect you all do."
"Hey, Twilight, I told him we would put him up in a hotel for the next few days. Would you guys mind chipping in?"
"No problem."
Twilight gave the stallion his food and woke up Spike.
"Hey. How are you holding up," she asked her companion.
"Better now that you're here."
"We're dropping this guy off for the night, then we'll go home and play some games."
"Alright."
Everyone boarded the truck and they were off.
"Goodnight, man. Get some rest, okay?"
"I will."
The seven friends left the hotel building.
"He seemed really sweet," Twilight noted.
"He is," Rainbow confirmed, "Poor guy's been through a lot. He deserves better than that."
"Yeah," they all agreed.
"Anyway, we did what we could. I hope he gets the happiness he deserves."
Rainbow hopped in the driver's seat of the truck.
"We still have a record to finish."
Her friends cheered at the prospect of hearing the rest of the music they enjoyed. They all jumped in the truck with her and made their way to the road home.
The album wasn't finished yet when the group reached Twilight's house. They continued headbanging while they talked.
"Does their next album sound similar to this," Twilight yelled to Rainbow over the music.
"I dunno'! It's called villainy and virtue! We'll have to check that one out when we get inside!"
"Awesome!"
"There are a couple others we should listen to! Zao released a record a couple years ago, and there's a melodeath band called Vulture that put out A Call For The Ancients in 2000!"
"I'll definitely add those to the list!"
"Sweet!"
"We haven't really listened to any nu metal in a while," Fluttershy spoke softly but audibly.
"Hey, that's a good point," Rainbow agreed, "Man; I can't believe the first time I heard nu metal was all the way back in 2004! Feels like a long time ago!"
"It is, technically," Twilight stated, "It's been almost a decade and a half!"
"I, for one, am glad machine head is still around," Rarity mentioned.
"Me too," Rainbow concurred.
"Come on," Twilight brought up, "we have an album to finish!"
"You're right," Rainbow Dash acknowledged.
They all returned to headbanging.
By the time the album ended, their manes were messes, and their necks were dead, but they didn't care.
"That was an eargasm and a half," Rainbow told her friends.
"I need more," Twilight desired.
"Come on! Let's go inside so we can hear villainy and virtue!"
All of them practically sprinted into Twilight's living room.
"There's my desktop! Let's pull it up!"
Rainbow Dash accessed the computer and pulled up Spotify. All of Dead to Falls albums were there.
"Here it is!"
"Play it! Play it!"
Rainbow clicked on the first song "Torn Self". It kept with the previous records theme of melodeath and death metal influence mixed with hardcore.
"This sounds promising," Twilight said sounding hopeful.
Then the middle of the song hit.
"Wait a minute," Rainbow heard, "what the heck!? Why is there so much less melody here!?"
"That's disappointing," Applejack said sadly.
"Maybe it's just a small experiment," Twilight reasoned, "They might get back to it later in the album."
"Maybe..."
The next song soon followed.
"I don't know about this, Twi. The dark feeling and melodic sound just aren't there."
"Let's wait it out. If the rest of the album sounds like this, then we'll just stick with EITFTP and what we can find of their demos."
"Sounds fair. I just hope it picks up."
"Me too."
By the time V&V was over, Rarity had her hoof planted on her face, Fluttershy was lying face-first on the ground in disappointment, Twilight was depressed, Spike was chewing his tail, Applejack and Rainbow were livid, and Pinkie was slamming her head against the wall.
"Why would they completely abandon most of what made everything before so good," Rainbow asked in aggravation without expecting an answer.
"I don't know," Twilight admitted, "but I'm sad now. I don't want to hear any more."
"Me neither," everyone agreed.
"The only half decent songs were Torn Self and Blood of The Moon, and they threw too many sinister parts in to try to sound brutal. They really should've just stuck with the melody. Even the evil-sounding parts on EITFTP had a melodic tone."
"What happened to the drumming stuff they did on the other one too, consarn it," Applejack wanted to know.
"Please play something else, Dashie," Pinkie asked solemnly.
"Don't lose hope yet, guys. I mentioned Vulture in the car. They're supposed to be a really heavy melodic death metal band."
"Let's give them a try," Twilight advised.
Rainbow went to the search engine and looked them up. The album she mentioned, A Call For The Ancients, was there. She clicked on the first song. Everyone looked at the computer.
"Intro's almost over."
The opening of the album came to a soft end. It was soon followed by the crushing, sad, melodic sound the group had come to love over the last few years.
"Oh my divine pony overseer! This is amazing," Twilight exclaimed.
"I told you guys! I can deliver when it counts."
"I feel better already," Spike cheered up.
"This is simply phenomenal, darling," Rarity commented.
"Let's party," Pinkie yelled.
All of them started headbanging again.
The album ended after about an hour. All of them were tired from thrashing around so hard.
"Well, now that that's over, let's unwind with some games for a bit," Twilight recommended.
"What do you say me and team up and wreck some monsters in Resident Evil," Spike said.
"You're on."
"What music you guys want?"
"How about 3rd Strike? Fluttershy brought up nu metal earlier."
"I can't believe it's been almost eight years since the vocalist died..."
Everyone went quiet for a minute. Remembering that really bummed them out.
"Anyway, 3rd Strike it is. You guys want to stream this session?"
"Sure," Twilight replied.
Rainbow started the music and pulled up the stream encoder. After a few adjustments, they were ready to start. She clicked okay on button prompt.
"Okay. We're live."
Everyone got in the frame and waved at the camera.
"Viewers are coming in."
"Well, if it isn't the hottest goth crew on the interwebs," a user named DemonSlayer256 commented.
"Hey, Spike, this guy thinks you're hot!"
"Gay!"
"What's wrong with being gay?"
"Nothing. It's just gay."
Everyone cracked up. Immediately afterwards, a regular view by the name of "Dreadnought" showed up in the chat.
"I noticed that you guys don't drink anymore. What happened?"
"Hey Dread. We went straight edge a while back. We didn't really like how we acted when we were buzzed. I used to flirt with everything and everyone in sight, and that ended pretty badly. Twilight and Aj were angry drunks. We kind of got scared off from alcohol."
"What about Spike? You flirt with him all the time."
"He knows I won't do anything he's uncomfortable with. Also, I'm not a pedo, so there's that."
"Fair enough."
"As far as drinking goes, nobody really stops to think about what happens when it's used as self-medication. If you're at a low enough point, it's deadly."
"That's a good point, actually, but if someone's intent on dying, we can't do anything."
"That's why it's better to intervene as early as possible. If they hate you, oh well. You're giving them the chance for a half-decent future as opposed to nothing at all. When you hear someone talking about helping everyone around you, they're not talking about true help. When someone is being swallowed up by grief and considering offing themselves, that's when they need someone the most."
"I get what you mean."
"Anyway, things got pretty dark there. Let's just chill for a bit and play some games."
"Okay."
Three hours went by during the stream. Rainbow was reading a short comic series written and illustrated by Twilight. It was about a little girl who was trapped in a cabin surrounded by three wolves, and she had to find a way out.
"Hey, Twi, this is really good! Why haven't you published it?"
"Because the comic industry sucks. They want dudes in costumes with ripped muscles. I put it online for some of my other friends to read."
"Does she have any superpowers?"
"No, and that's probably another reason why they don't want it."
"This is true survival horror. Why the genre never spread beyond games until you made it is beyond me."
"Because nobody wants to try to be creative anymore. Just listen to what passes for metalcore and melodic death metal these days. The bands sound nothing like their predecessors. They just want to throw a bunch of djent guitars and electronic samples in and do unnecessary clean singing to appease the masses. The dark feeling is completely gone. If they brought it back, they'd be making a killing from just us alone. The same thing is happening to death doom. There's no crunchy riffage and dark atmosphere. They just keep throwing in cleans and high pitched guitars for the sake of trying to be with the times. I'll take the rain in endless fall and ignis creatio any day over whatever this new wave is supposed to be."
"Twilight, chill," Spike told his friend, "Remember what you said at the restaurant earlier; everything that doesn't get mainstream attention just moves to the underground."
"I know. It's just frustrating to try to track it down. It's the same with games too. I like survival horror where you can upgrade your gear with a cool character. Now it's all first person nonsense with hardly any combat at all."
"Well, this game is only four years old. It's mostly just the fact that a lot of the developers don't want to do it."
"Well, I would be doing it myself if I could, but it takes way too much tech for just seven of us to handle.
"Maybe not," Rainbow Dash intervened.
"It does, Rainbow."
"Remember where survival horror started?"
"The PlayStation 1 era?"
"Right. If we try, we could probably make a PS1 style game without too much trouble. You're smart enough to figure out the coding, and we could do character design, stage design, and events. If we build it up we might even get to PS2 graphics by the sequel."
"I didn't think about it like that. I guess you're right."
"We could do it with metal, too. If other bands want to keep doing their thing, we could stand out and write our own music."
"True."
"Anyway, I'm about beat. I guess I should get going."
"You don't have to go. You guys can stay the night."
"You sure, Twi?"
"Yeah. It's no problem."
"I'll take you up on that offer, then. I'm about to drop dead."
"You're just saying that to get me excited."
Pinkie laughed so hard she snorted.
"I was talking about Drawing Last Breath earlier. You guys want to knock out to some of them?"
"Sounds like a plan," Twilight spoke.
"I'll set the alarm on phone to play Judas Priest in the morning," Rarity told her companions.
"Sleep tight! Don't let the bed sprites bite," Pinkie squealed.
"Goodnight, everyone," Fluttershy said sweetly.
"Night all," Applejack announced.
"Night, guys," Spike spoke to them.
All of them lied down with blankets on the floor.
"Hey, Rainbow Dash," Spike mentioned his friend.
"Yeah, little buddy?"
"Thanks for what you said; about not doing anything I was uncomfortable with."
"Don't sweat it. Friends look out for each other, right? We've got your back."
"We almost forgot to turn off the stream," Twilight examined, "We'll see you guys later."
Twilight ended the stream and lied down in her spot. She used her magic to bring up Drawing Last Breath and clicked play.
"That's better."
Rainbow turned the light off and they all slowly fell asleep one by one. With a plan in mind, they were ready to do what they wanted to see done.
Spike woke up at about three in the morning. An unusual side effect that came with his depression was that he would sometimes have random nightmares. Unable to get back to sleep he decided to get up and grab Twilight's guitar. It was currently tuned to drop c. He didn't really have much of anything to do later that day, so if he was a little tired, no big deal. Taking Twilight's headphones, he plugged them into an amp extension with the power connector. When the amp was switched on, he changed the settings a bit and started riffing in a similar style to another band Rainbow had introduced him to; The Red Death. That morning, he would riff until the sun rose.
