I stared at the hospital bed, my hooves frozen in place.
I saw her mane, now having pitch black running through the dark blue and purple streaks.
I saw her purple fur that once shone brightly, now tainted with the burn marks of destructive magic.
I saw her eyes - her wonderfully huge, round purple orbs - now closed forever.
I didn't bother to hide the fact that my tears were streaming down my face.
The doctors and nurses have long given up on trying to get me to leave the room. I wouldn't let them get to me. Unless they wanted their manes and coats singed like her.
As if the still heart monitor beside her bed wasn't a clear enough sign - they just had to rub it in - had to tell all of us the one sentence that I didn't want to hear.
She doesn't deserve this at all.
Princess Twilight Sparkle, the Princess Of Friendship, The Element Of Magic, was lying motionlessly on the bed of the Ponyville General Hospital.
My lover was dead still under the white sheets that covered her.
Anger welled up alongside the tears in my eyes.
Not anger at anyone else but me.
At first I had pounded the walls. I had screamed at anyone that dared to speak to me. I had cursed the whole of Equestria that something like this could ever happen.
But in the end there was no denial.
It was no one else's fault, but my own.
She did this for me.
And I did this to her.
"Starlight, trust me, you're ready." My lover and mentor looks at me with a smile. I was nervous, even more than at my graduation day. These were the exact same words she told me back then. This time, she was alone with me, in her private library at her castle. Twilight looked at me confidently, giving me an even warmer smile than the usual she wore on her face.
"Ready? Ready for what?" I was confused alongside being slightly scared.
"All the princesses have agreed with me. You have proven yourself worthy, love." She said, her voice coating me like molten lava. I have a dreadful feeling about what she was going to tell me.
"It is time to move on to your next chapter, Starlight."
A blinding flash of her horn following by her words temporarily blinded me. When I finally opened my eyes again, there was nothing else around me except darkness.
Darkness and a lavender alicorn standing in front of me, a small orb atop her horn, gazing down affectionately at me. Pride glimmered in her wonderful purple eyes.
"What... what is this place..." I manage to stutter.
"Starlight." The mare of my dreams moved forward and lifted my chin with one hoof. "We've been together for 9 months now. And I regretted no moment of it. You are truly the most wonderful friend - and marefriend - that anyone could ever have. Through all the times we've fought through together, I've only learned more and more wonderful things about you."
Twilight moved around me before her wing gently rested on my back. "Even before we became lovers... I was always so proud to have you as my student. You have truly changed a lot since the day I met you. And, really, there is nothing bad I could say about you. You are good at magic, you are kind and compassionate, and you are willing to do anything for a friend. I thought our moment together would eventually end when you graduated and stopped being my student, but I was never more wrong than I was back then."
"Twilight... what are you going to do?" I asked the only question that I could form on my tongue.
"I'm only giving what you deserve, my faithful student." She leaned in and kissed me, letting her warmth and light enter my body, filling my heart and soul with it. "You have gone so far until up here, and even the princesses can no longer deny that there is no reason that should stop me from doing this."
Before she lifted into the air again, she leaned in and nuzzled me once more, whispering those gentle words into my ears. "I love you, and no matter where you would go next, or what will happen to us, I promise that you would never be alone."
With that, she closed her eyes, focusing her magic on her horn until it engulfed her in a magenta ball of pure energy, almost growing to the point of blinding again. I didn't notice it at first, but swirls of her magic started to surround me, lifting me into the air alongside my princess.
The power flowed through me like a pure inferno exploding within my soul. I believed that if anyone were to witness it, they would be staring with their jaws wide open at my transformation, alongside the bright ball of light that surrounded my lover who was responsible for this phenomenon at the first place.
I don't know how long had the magic in me took to work, but when it was done, the power emblazoned into me burst forth in a supernova of white light. The immense amount of magic was in fact so huge that it overwhelmed me, causing me to clutch my head out of dizziness as descended from the air again.
Was I back on the library floor? I blindly reached out, feeling for my horn and the rest of my body to make sure I was alright. And I was. I was perfectly fine. I believed that by my sense of touch alone, I can tell that I have not changed physically despite what magical transformation I had just gone through.
But when I took in my first breath back in reality, expecting the smell of books and ink to be flowing into my nose... I was wrong. Instead, I was met with a sharp, pungent smell of smoke.
And the horrifying words of Princess Celestia.
"Twilight Sparkle... no."
Those words alone were enough to send me opening my eyes and getting up on my hooves in a flash. The world spun around me uncontrollably, but I saw my lover lying on the ground with a singed mane and coat, her former mentor standing grimly in front of her...
... and before I passed out completely, I heard those dreaded words.
"Your wings... no ... the spell failed..."
Even with her words muddled up, I knew exactly what had happened.
My worst fears had came true.
I had never been so mad with myself at that moment. I knew it was all my fault. If she didn't try to perform the spell that Celestia did on her years ago, she wouldn't have suffered this fate.
Worst of all, I was not there when she collapsed and needed me most. I should have been the first one to rush to her. Not Princess Celestia, not any medic or nurse or doctor, heck, not even one of her friends.
I should have been the one who was by her side, when she needed me most. I was the one that she trusted the most.
"Why did you do this to me?" I choked those words out at the unresponsive princess. "How could you ever think I deserve to stand by your side, as your equal and a ruler of Equestria? How was I ever worthy of being a princess like you?"
I broke out into tears, not resisting the urge to freely cry anymore. "Why would you do something like this, hurting yourself for someone as unimportant as me? Why would you do this if you knew there was a high chance that this would happen? Why would you sacrifice yourself for me?"
I sobbed harder than I ever did in my life, leaning my chest on her body, just like how I always did. Except this time, there was no rhythm of the steady rising and falling of her chest. No signs that she was breathing.
She was a princess. A powerful alicorn with almost endless magical capabilities. Yet she cast this spell - one of the rare few that could harm an alicorn until the point of death - and it was all because of me.
And because of me, there were no signs that she was alive and by my side, even though she was physically still with me.
Princess Twilight was gone.
My lover, and the only pony that has ever meant this much to me, was gone.
"You... you said that I would never be alone. You said you will always be there for me..." I whispered, the sounds of my sobs dying down as my spirit did.
"You promised that we will never be apart." My voice drifted through the cold air of the room, as if carrying a message from someone that was desperately waiting for a reply.
The silence that answered me was deafening.
I looked at Twilight, with the faintest spark of hope that she might still wake up, that she might still have a chance of living.
That she might still see me again.
Nothing happened.
The only sound I could hear was my own uncontrolled breathing and my endless sobs.
So that she might see me again.
"I'm only giving what you deserve, my faithful student."
I remembered those words she told me. Even if I've done so little to her, I'll always mean something to her, just like how I feel about her.
You can do this.
I heard a small voice at the back of my head.
You can make things right again.
Then... a thought that has never even crossed my mind before suddenly struck me at full force.
"In the end, it's always the one we love that prevails..."
Hearing my conscious thoughts, my magic glowed atop my horn at lightning speed. I have a chance to make this right.
One last chance.
"... and all fear shall eventually be washed away by the tides of love."
It was for the best. Anything right then was better than nothing. I knew Twilight will not prefer me sitting in a corner and crying my eyes out for the rest of the days.
And I am no longer the old Starlight Glimmer. The Starlight in the past would have ran away from her problems, unwilling to fix her own mistakes.
I can show her that I've changed.
And I will make things right again no matter what it took.
I could barely see the scroll or the text that was written on it through my blurry vision. This was a decision that couldn't be reversed, possibly the most drastic one that I'll ever make. Even more than when I decided to form a village of ponies that had only equal signs on their flanks.
And this will be the last one I'll make too.
"I promise no matter what, you'll never be alone."
If Princess Twilight Sparkle couldn't fulfill her own promise alone... I will help her do it.
Gathering courage and strength from the two quotes that I heard from the back of my mind, drawn from a romance novel I read so long ago, I charged my horn and fired my magic at the scroll.
For the last time, I found myself being lifted into the air, but not by a magenta aura of magic. Instead, my own turquoise glow surrounded myself as the spell was ready at the tip of my horn and tongue, waiting for me to speak those ancient, possibly even forbidden words for it to spring into action.
Oh, I know how much I'll miss them.
An orange-gold stallion came to my mind first. Sunburst may have left me to grow up alone when we were young, but that was completely not his fault. I have eventually came down to the fact that he did nothing wrong to me, and we would still be friends, apart or together in this world. He made my childhood worth living, and that was all that mattered.
How I'll miss my other friends. Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Applejack... even if they don't occupy the space in my heart like how Twilight does, I love them as who they are. They were also part of the reason why I got to meet her at the first place. Without them, I could never feel friendship or love. Without them, I would now be suffering alone. Without them, I wouldn't understand that sometimes you don't always care about what's best for you when you start caring about what others feel.
Twilight and I are both solid examples of that, even if only one of us will walk away as living proof after this.
And Trixie - oh, how could I forget her? Both of us had gone through so much in life, most of it being the terrible choices we make. I know she'll probably yell at me for abandoning her great and powerful self and how I messed up another decision again. The thought made me dangerously close to smiling. Typical us. Always questioning what we do due to our pasts. However, this time I'm sure I'm doing the right thing.
How I'll miss the princesses too. When I got together with Twilight, they were the ones that stopped all the gossip happening around town. They were the ones who put together plans to finally convince that we would make a fantastic couple. They were the ones who wouldn't stop trying to help us make everyone believe that everypony can change if given a second chance. Most importantly, they never lost their faith or trust in both Twilight and me. They supported us all the way, and that is what makes us who we are today.
And how I'll miss the ponies of my old town. Even though what I did to them was beyond forgivable, they gladly offered their friendship to me once more. Even if they were under my twisted control, they never failed to teach me that being a leader isn't all about power and being in charge. I knew this even further when I met Twilight and the other princesses.
I hated to admit it but Twilight was right, friendship is indeed magic. I felt thankful for everyone that has been in my life after I truly understood friendship. I felt grateful even for the ponies that simply waved hello to me on the streets every day. I feel thankful for everything that has given me such a wonderful time on Equestria.
And even though that had come to an end, their memories shall never disappear. I'll carry them, through death and more, as they are living photographs of my life and my lover.
My lover, Princess Twilight Sparkle.
With tears of heartbreak now replaced with those of acceptance and hope, I charged up my horn once more, filling the room with a bluish green light.
I don't need to question if it was worth it as I spoke the words:
"Out of my own free will and complete agreement,
I now harness the very true essence of my life from the core of my soul..."
As I chanted part of those ancient words, greenish swirls of magic floated around me, until my eyes glowed white to reveal the deepest part of my own being. A spell that was once used to lend minor life force to another pony was almost as rare as ice iris during spring, and it was anything but easy to use, but I wasn't using that. No, I was doing something more crazy.
Did I trust myself? No. Was I confident? I must be. No matter what, even if I had doubt, I didn't care because this time, it must work. I have to make things right again.
"... I hereby use this pure energy of life of mine,
to reach out a hoof to a weary soul in need."
With those two lines, swirls of dull grey moved up from my lover's body. There was no spark of life in her anymore. But I'm going to change that.
"I will leave without regrets that I have given up the one thing that made me who I once was,
Knowing that my gift has gone to a pony who is worthy of receiving it.
"I, Starlight Glimmer, hereby declare that the pony I'm delivering this blessing to,
The pony with the name, Twilight Sparkle, shall be safe under the very protection of my own soul."
My horn glowed brightly as I felt all of the magic in me flowing and concentrating on it, ready to be delivered at my command. There was no going back. And I'm completely fine with that.
And then came the hard part. Combining spells together and causing chain reactions was one thing, but this... this has never happened before, not even in really old tales and legends. But I will not fail.
For Twilight, I wouldn't fail.
My love for her was stronger than anything fate could throw at me.
And that gave me my idea.
I might not know how to prevent a spell from failing - but I do know how to strengthen my channel of unicorn magic. However, enhancement spells would not do it. Not this time. To harness my full potential and summon complete concentration, I must use something other than my sheer force of will. I was after all, still a unicorn, and I know my limits.
However, I know that I can't latch my concentration onto something a simple object, on a physical, concrete object I wouldn't mind losing that I could easily retrieve from this room itself.
No, I must bind magic with magic itself.
The magic of true love.
I looked out of my window as the rain fell, feeling a storm gathering in me as well.
The guilt of my past still laid heavily on me, even though it has already been some time since I was forgiven.
Even though no one hates me anymore.
Even though I have fixed everything I once did wrong ... I still wouldn't help but wonder.
Wonder why I was forgiven so easily.
"Starlight?"
A soothing voice caught my attention. The purple alicorn that I loved came behind me, and immediately I already felt warmer than before.
I opened my mouth to speak, but quickly found a lavender hoof on my mouth, effectively silencing me. Not because of her strength or because she put much force into stopping me from uttering a word, but because I was so drowned in her embrace that soon followed.
Besides, even if she did let me speak... I know no words would have come out.
"Shh, don't speak," she said in her soothing voice. Instead of saying anything more, she wrapped me around her warm wings and gazed out of the window with me.
We have already been through this, and both of us know it. It wasn't the first time that she had found me getting lost in my own self-deprecating thoughts. I no longer have to utter a single word for her to completely understand what was going through my mind.
In the same way, she didn't need to say anything for me to understand that she'll always be by my side, as I will for her.
"Hey, Starlight?"
I turned around to face Twilight as she called my name, only to be met by her warm lips on my own. My ears stood up in surprise, my body involuntarily melting into the kiss, warmth coursing through my whole body. It was as if the sadness that once clouded me never existed at all.
When she finally pulled away from the kiss, her wings still resting on my back, she looked at me with the gentlest look a pony could ever have.
"You wanna hear a song?"
I didn't recall nodding, but I must have, because moments later, she closed her gorgeous purple eyes and took a deep breath.
Before a soothing melody met my ears and held me still, as the sound of her voice, now literally music to my ears, gently flowed through the wind.
Those words. Those lyrics that never failed to fill me with warmth. For the first time in that day, I felt alive. I smiled, before I felt the words leave my mouth and slowly powering up my magic.
"When the darkness of life falls,
And the light is nowhere to be found,
I can't help but ask myself -
Am I still that amazing and glorious?
Sometimes I feel overwhelmed,
By the endless gray clouds looming overhead,
By the endless things that go wrong.
Yet in the end, I always smile, I always get up.
For you...
At that point of the song, my magic flared brightly and finally released a beam of pure magic towards the alicorn that I was giving my life force to. My smile grew wider as I saw rings of energy going down the beam that now connected me to my lover as well, a clear sign that my song was working.
Her song was working.
I wonder if you too think,
Why is life so cruel to us?
What we want always seems unreachable,
Yet what we need is always just with us.
Sometimes we need to be reminded of the truth,
Sometimes we need to stop telling ourselves lies.
That what we need is indeed just beside us,
Such as how I like you for reminding of this.
For you... For you...
My magic only increased in intensity as the song went on. It was working, the spell was succeeding. There was truly no going back now. I know that as I continued singing to her, just like how she once did to me.
"Oh, do you finally understand,
That everything I do is because of you?
The very essence that drives me forward,
And the light that illuminated my path,
Do you know it's all because of you?
I can't promise that we won't ever die,
I can't promise that life will be easy.
But I promise that I will never give up,
And it is all only for you."
The bright glow receded from my horn for a moment as I peeked at what I've done to the Princess Of Friendship. I felt my cheeks hurt from smiling, which was almost impossible given what kind of state I was in, but I couldn't contain my pure joy as I saw the burn marks on her skin disappeared, the wounds that once scarred her physical beauty all disappear as if they were never there in the first place.
Putting all of my focus into the song again, my horn once again filled the room with a white light, continuing to pour the torrent of magic within me into the pony named Twilight Sparkle.
"And now I see the light right before my eyes,
And now I understand the true meaning of strength -
The world's filled with color because of you.
And I could throw away everything, anything,
And I could have nothing in this world.
But there is no place I could be,
That I will survive without you.
Oh, do you finally understand,
That I need no one else but you?
The only reason I need to find my courage,
The only way I fight back against the darkness,
Do you know it's all because of you?
I can't promise that we won't ever die,
I can't promise that life will be easy.
But I promise that I will never give up,
And it is all only for you.
My strength was slowly fading, sapping my energy until their levels were beyond low. I had given her everything, everything that I could ever give her, yet I know it was still nothing compared to what she had gave me in my life.
Oh, do you finally understand,
That I can't promise anything in this world,
Except that everything I do in life or death,
Will always be only for you.
The scroll that I once levitated in the air now dropped harmlessly to the ground. It was done. Twilight Sparkle will not leave Equestria behind. I have succeeded. I have done what she promised to do for me.
I gave her what she deserved.
And that was it.
"And no matter how long it'll take...
I'll always be waiting, only for you.
The last two lines of the song had brought forth the truth.
I used up all my magic.
But not all of it went to Twilight. No, not every part of me was used on mending her and bringing her back to this world again.
No, the last bit of me had sent a wave of aqua across the borders of Equestria, and possibly even further beyond.
No one will remember the death of Twilight Sparkle. No one will remember that the Princess Of Friendship has been in a hospital, been in all the places that she shouldn't have been.
Because she won't die. I won't let her.
Instead, in a few days, everyone in Ponyville will be celebrating the funeral of a sick unicorn's passing.
All except for one.
Part of me was devastated that she would remember me. I know how much she loves me, as much as I do with her. I know she'll be more than upset with being alive and knowing what I've done, and most importantly, knowing that I'm gone.
But part of me was grateful, whether to the spell or to myself, I didn't know. What I know, however, is that she too, will never forget me, just like how I will never forget her after I leave. The living memories of me will forever be imprinted within her, as did her with me.
And I want the last memory she makes with me to be a good one.
So, with the last bit of my magic, I drained myself completely to send us both back to one place where we could always find rest, back beneath the soft sheets on her bed in her own castle.
The light seeped in through the window in her bedroom. In her all-too-familiar bed, I found myself completely incapable of moving. I believe I could still speak at a minimum, but I would never be sure until I tried. It felt like any normal hangover episode that I typically go through after a night of intense partying and drinking, but this time, I knew all too well what exactly had happened last night.
It was another day's start for everypony else, but it was the final sunrise that I will ever see in my life.
Still, the sight of the pony beside me stirring made this all worth it. She slowly opened her sleepy eyes, and I couldn't help but smile as the two lively purple orbs stared back into my own eyes once more.
"What... what happened..." Her amazing voice once again charmed me, even in my final moments.
"You'll be fine. The spell failed... but you'll be fine." I manage to say, albeit with a voice no louder than a mere whisper of the wind.
"Huh? Wha -" Her vision finally cleared enough to notice my fragile state and pale complexion. "Starlight! What - what happened - what happened to you - I was supposed to be in the hospital - the spell - I was supposed to be the one -" I instantly knew that her mind had put two and two together without needing me to say anything. Of course she did. She was too smart to not know.
"And... no one... will remember..." I tried my hardest to crack a smile.
My princess was still rambling in a mess of tears. I knew nothing could catch her attention during one of her panic attacks.
But I could.
"Twilight." I said her name, forcing the word out of my mouth as if it was a stone stuck in my throat.
She stopped, looking at me for a moment. In that period of time, I'm pretty sure she stopped breathing as her wide, panicked eyes stared back at me.
"Don't try anything. I did this for you. And I don't regret it." I made my voice as firm as possible in my weakened state, to let her know that I was serious. "Twi. I know you wouldn't want me to live in depression for the rest of my life. And know that I would feel the same about you too. You are strong, and you will always make it through. And someday," I smiled at that sentence. "Someday... we'll still meet each other."
I knew the end was approaching, my vision getting blurrier as the time went by. My talking wasn't helping much either. Actually, the only coherent sounds I could make out was my princess sobbing with her wings tightly wrapped around me. The heat of her body - a constant reminder that she was now alive and fine - although comforting, was doing nothing to chase away the cold that was slowly taking over my own.
"Starlight..." Even her words started to grow fuzzy as the world was slipping away from me. I knew my time on this world was coming to an end.
"Twi. Look at me.'
The lavender mare pulled away from me, her tear-streaked face and wet, glossy eyes facing me once more. For the last time. "I know that what I did was for the best. You are more worth than anypony else in this world or beyond. That will never change." It was getting harder to breathe. "Everypony has an end. Everyone. I know I won't last much longer, Twi. And I want our last moments together in this lifetime to be happy ones. Would you do that for me, please?"
Despite all of her heartache she must have been feeling, Twilight Sparkle rose up, the sunlight glistening on her face as she smiled, fulfilling my request. She was indeed strong, and I would never stop believing that.
I knew she had a lot to say, but she couldn't, at that moment. Even if she could, she wouldn't have had the time. I wouldn't have. Instead, a voice filled with genuine pride came out. "I'm... I'm so proud of you Starlight..." A true smile was written across her face. I couldn't imagine how bittersweet it tasted for her. Or me.
I smiled back at her before she gently kissed me, her eyes closing as our lips met for probably the last time. "I will come back to you one day, love. I will."
And before my eyes closed to send me off to eternal sleep, I spoke those words that I will always mean with all my heart. No matter in what world or time.
"And I will wait. Only for you."
And I left Princess Twilight Sparkle alone once more in her own room.
But one day, she'll come for me. I know she will.
And I will never stop waiting for her.
...
Where did I go?
There wasn't really an answer to that question... but when I opened my eyes, my vision was blurry once more. A pink figure stood before me, seemingly another pony that extended her hoof out to help me out.
Twilight!? But - that's impossible -
The ethereal pony stared at me with a look full of pride, similar to the one Twilight gave me back at her own room. It was then I realized that those blue eyes belonged to me.
But the ethereal me - she had something on her back, extending out from her two sides. She - I - looked more regal than I had ever been in my real life.
And that figure smiled at me before saying, "You have succeeded."
I didn't need to understand what she said. I knew what that sentence meant. I fixed the problem that I caused. I proved that I'm now a different pony than I was before, in life or not.
And as I took my own ethereal self's hoof, feeling my skin merging with hers and becoming one, the wings now growing on my own back, I could only think of one thing.
I'm waiting for you, Twilight.
-END-
Author's Note
Alright, here's a one-shot story of another one of my OTPs. I found out that TwiGlimmer may be more of my kind of writing, but we'll see eventually.
Oh, I promised that I would come back with something less depressing, but I forgot to say, there are no guarantees when I said that. 
I may or may not have an addiction to sad things. Fite me.
I hope you all will enjoy it!
