Chapter 1-FREEEEEEEEEEEEDOM! and Fred
“JOOOOOOOOJOOOOOOOO!” I sang out, mentally, finishing the 2015610th song I had been singing. If you couldn’t tell, it was ‘Sono Chi No Sadame' from JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure. I loved that show. Shame I’ll never get to finish it. Getting stuck in stone, looking out across a decorative garden, for a millennia can do that. Or has it been longer? I honestly have trouble remembering, which is funny, because thanks to The Book Of Undying Misery, my memory tends to be…well…Undying. OK. That was a bad pun. I am sorry. Except I’m not.
Ok, how to introduce myself. Well, since I can’t remember my first name from before I became the darkened unicorn, I just took hers. So hi, I guess. My names Oleander. Before I was a unicorn, I was a human. A human male, but I don’t care that I was turned female. Honestly, I was messed up in my head about my gender. Couldn’t make heads or tails out of it. I believe I made peace with leaving my old life behind around…lets see here…ah, yes, 526 years, 7 months and 26 days ago. Even if I could go back, there is nothing to go back to, and I want to try and enjoy my life here. Where is here you ask? Well, a magical land known as Equestria.
More specifically in my case, the Canterlot gardens. The statue gardens. Yes, I took a rainbow beam of death. Honestly, I did it on purpose. Both for the reason that I couldn’t bear to fight back, hoping they’d see me in a better light, and to survive as till such a time the show begins. And considering the school class coming up to my neighbour, who was Discord, I’d say I’m in the right time. I could see anything my eyes were supposed to be able to see, you see, meaning that I could that discord was cracking, and hopefully, based on what little magic I could muster, would be my key to freedom.
“Oh, Oleander. How the mighty have fallen” he said, suddenly teleporting in front of me in freedom, and summoning a mini sign that said “mighty have” and then letting it fall. “You were a great foe, but alas, I have very little time to catch up. I’ve plans to plan, schemes to scheme, and worlds to rend to my wishes. I bid you…adieu.” He said disappearing in a flash. I then proceeded to get to work. Mustering what little of the Fel magic I had in me, I hijacked some of the lingering dissonance magic he left behind. Upon doing this, I started to erode the harmonious magic keeping me in place. Upon complete disposal of the harmonious magic, I shook off the thin layer of stone that surrounded me, and took my first breath in who knows how long. As I lay there panting, I decided to get a good look at myself in the reflective base of my statue.
What I saw staring back at me were blue pupiless eyes, with a little dark purple eyeliner/eyeshadow thingy underneath them. I was never good with makeup, seeing as I never cared about fashion enough to learn anything about it past osmosis. There was ashen grey fur , and a messy yet elegant black mane, with pink tips. I had purple cloven hooves and big fetlocks, that covered most of my aforementioned purple cloven hooves. My tail was in a similar state to my mane. Finally, I looked at the long, dangerous pointy stick on my head. My horn. One of my various conduits for magic. Speaking of magic I should really get that book of mine back.
Expanding my mental influence to the world around me, I reached out to one particular magical source. One that is very much like my own, just bigger. There it was, a massive flame of Fel/Dark/Eldritch energy, coming from within the castle vault, bound both by the form of the book, and the magic suppressing chains binding the book. This was my only friend in this world, and in my glee to speak to him again, I projected out a thought.
“FRED! I AM SO GLAD YOUR OKAY!” I projected to my booky companion.
“Oleander? Wait, do not call me th-you know what? Never mind. I’ll deal with that later. I’m afraid I’m a bit chained down at the moment, and would appreciate your help in my retrieval.” I just merely giggled at my friends annoyance.
“Of course Fred. Any day Fred. I’ll save you Fred” I started stating back. When I got a growling of annoyance coming from him I broke the link before he blew up in my face. Luckily for me, magic suppressing chains have one massive flaw. They suppress the magic of whatever they are binding, yes? This means that they keep magic in. However, they sorta fail the other way round, at keeping the magic out. Which means I just need to find him, and my magic can easily erode the chains binding him in place. And thus I set off. Now, I was a strange looking unicorn. And that did get me quite aew stares in this magical city of ponies. However, I was yet to be tainted to the point of permanent mutation by The Book Of Undying Misery, and thus still looked like a unicorn. To be honest, I’m far way off from any type of corruption beyond the darkening, so I’m safe there.
Anyhow, before I go off on a tangent, which I do a lot, since I look like a unicorn, I can pass by generally undetected in the general populace. So I just walked through the visitor doors at the castle. Plain and simple. No one tried to stop me. Once farther in, I took a turn, that I shouldn’t have, but in my case needed to. It would mean discovery at this point was paramount to sentencing. At least until I got Fred back. Then I could defend myself. So I tip-hooved my way forward at a brisk pace, the carpeted floor doing well to muffle the sound into nonexistence. I heard voices talking round the next corner, so silently slid to it and leaned right, peering round. I saw a whole contingent of guards, one up ahead, talking to the others. Probably the leader. He was muttering something about discord. Which is when I noticed the out of whack times. It was switching pretty fast throughout day and night. I had to reach Fred, and I has to reach him soon. Preferably before the Princesses take note that I’m gone.
Now how to get past these guards. Its simple really. A spell. A spell that usually would take nothing to cast. If I had Fred. I really do rely on that Eldritch abomination of a book too much. This would most likely cut my reserves of magic in half, but needed to be done. And thus I began channeling.
“Transverse” I merely stated, ordering my dark magic to act upon my whims. Suddenly, there was a poof of dark purple smoke, as I saw the world gain a red tint, and for all time to stop. I had stepped into the Void. The nothingness with the Everythingness, that exists within all, yet nowhere at the same time. It was really quite hard to get my head round it. I slowly started trotting forward, keeping my concentration on the spell. As I reached the guards, I just phased through their still bodies. After all, they don’t technically exist right now, and neither do I. After turning the corner behind them, I broke the spell, another poof of purple smoke appearing. And continued on my way. After one more run in with guards outside the vault, also solved with a smaller use of ‘Transverse’, I finally made my way into the holding area of my friend.
The room was cylindrical, with a catwalk leading up to a podium, surrounded by water. On top of the podium was a book bound by faintly glowing chains. It was shaking in their grip, trying to break free and return to me. The book had half of the skull of a creature on either side, so that when opened, it would show the full skull on the cover/blurb. It had runes written all over it, and a hole about a third of the way from the top, in the spine. I slowly trotted up to the book, which only increased its thrashing, treading slowly to circumvent my fear of large quantities of water. Upon reaching the podium, I started to examine the chains. They were incredibly simple. They were simply stacked with suppressing enchantments. While this was probably wise, considering the horrid amount of power the book contained, it was also very stupid. A simple Fel spark later and the chains broke. The chains were so over saturated with enchantments, that over the ages, they grew incredible brittle. Upon release of the book, I felt that rapport of Eldritch power return to me, as the book started to float passively in front of me.
“Oleander! It is so good to see you after these many centuries! Or is it millennia?” said the smooth voice of Fred, the spirit that inhabits The Book Of Undying Misery.
“Oooooh Fred! I missed you so much too. Do you know what its been like? Having to be stuck as an object, unable to go insane, yet unable to truly enact any will upon the world?” I exclaimed in a happy manner.
“Uh…yeah. I think I may know a thing or two about that. Its not like I’m the leading expert on that or anything.” He replied. “AND MY NAME IS NOT FRED! ITS IS FHTNG! GET IT RIGHT OLEANDER!” he started shouting in his demon book voice, to which I merely replied by shushing him and then hugging him.
“Shhhh, its ok Fred. I know you’re scared but I am here now and we can finally help the world from this threat you warned me about.” I started whispering comfortingly to my obviously distraught friend.
“SCARED! SCARED! I know not of what you talk abo- Oleander. The Princess’s magic is behind the door to this place.” He started whispering, back in his ‘normal’ voice.
“Look alive, Fred” I merely stated, turning round to face our new visitors. After a minute of waiting, to which I was getting impatient, they finally burst through the door.
“So it’s true.” Said Princess Solarflanks, though mist would know her as princess Celestia, with her pristine white coat, aurora coloured flowing mane and tail, a sun cutie mark, and horns and wings. “You truly are free, Oleander The Darkened. I am afraid I cannot allow you to roam free. Your dark magic poses too much of a threat. Come quietly, and we will make this as quick and comfortable as possible.”
“Pfft, you make it sound like you are going to kill me.” I stated, making their faces turned shocked at the thought, which gave me the boost of confidence I needed to not breakdown in front of them. I can be quite prone to those. “I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to refuse you.”
“But why? Thou hath given thyself up freely in thine past?” Said the voice of a slightly smaller, blue alicorn with a blue mane and tail that was starting to flow into a night sky at the tips. She herself had a cutie mark of a moon with a black splodge behind it. This was Princess Luna. While Celestia felt malice towards me for merely using dark magic and not being her sister, Luna only cared for Fred in the distrustful way, believing my powers, while higher than that of Twilight Sparkle, were of no threat without Fred.
“It is simple really princesses.” I started, trying at least to be well mannered and answer their questions. “I am exactly where I want to be in time, for the cause I must fight for. And my cause is a righteous one, and as such, you shall neither stand in my way.” My voice going dark and threatening towards the end.
“You leave me no choice then, Oleander The Darkened” Celestia said, while charging up her horn, as her sister did the same.
“Containment spell, how worthless.” Came the voice of my eldritch friend, and as if reading my mind, started using his magic to play a song. This song was known as “swear word this swear word, I’m out”, and thus was apt for the tomfoolery I was about to pull off. The song actually caught the princesses off guard to slow down their channeling enough for the whole song to play. On the final note they fired off their spells, to which I replied with a single word. I bet you can guess which one.
“Transverse” I stated, and once again there was a poof of purple smoke, and the world went red, just as their spell was about to hit me. And thus began my long trek out of Canterlot, all the way to the Everfree forest, where I finally released my magic, and felt myself return to existence, and time to start moving again. Honestly, that spell was just too useful. In tactics, combat and escape. Let alone when Fred does more than just extend the duration with his insane levels of power. It is different to the normal “light” teleportation spell, which turns you into light, and transports you to the desired place. Since dark magic has a lot more ‘I command the world to do my bidding' you literally transfer yourself, to a different verse, if that makes sense, with verse being the uni’Verse', or multi’Verse’, and travel along that place, and then reappear relative to where you were in your normal ‘Verse’. Fred being a book of infinite dark knowledge, has his own pocket void, that he maps out on a near parallel to Equestria, which is what I use with the Transverse spell.
I was walking through the dark forest quite briskly before I heard growling. Looking through the undergrowth I noticed a zebra, in a battle position, fending off 5 Timberwolves around her lay 3 Timberwolf corpses, and she look worn out from the fighting, no doubt will be unable to continue for much longer. She could maybe take on one more from my guesses, but she would likely be eaten after that.
“Wait! She seems familiar. It can’t be can it? First off, I know this is Zecora, but that cutie mark style mark means..”I thought as realization dawned on me. Instantly I rushed forward and stopped in front off her, as though to protect her, which fair to say, shocked her.
“While I am happy to see you come to my aid, to these Wolves you are not their aim, hurry go now and hide, be rest assured I’ll be quite fine.” She started speaking in that rhyme of which her people be known.
“Worry not, descendant to Zerecron! To fight for your life is an honour I wish to have. After all, I can’t leave you to die. Did you honestly think I wouldn’t realize it?” I replied, to which she looked shocked again. Now back to the fight. While usually I prefer to think through my fights a bit more, but with the level of power these Timberwolves were showing, I was safe to overpower them.
“OK, let’s make this quick.” I stated, to which Fred agreed. I manage to notice a look of recognition on Zecora's face as she saw The Book Of Undying Misery. I started off by summoning the Doom Claw out of the book, grabbing one of the Timberwolves, causing the others to spring into action. Using the one I grabbed, I threw it into another, instantly shattering them both with the mere force. Another tried to take a swipe at me, to which I transverses my way out of the way, and behind him.
“You are much too slow to even think about hitting me” I merely stated to my foe before smashing the doom claw over my head behind me, sending it to crumbles instantly. The last one in a desperate attempt to get revenge for its fallen allies, lunged at me, to which I merely thwacked it with Fred. Hard. Suffice to say it also fell into pieces. I turned back towards Zecora, who would soon be catching flies with how surprised she looked.
“Ummm, hello? Are you in there?” I asked, hoping for a reply.
“I think you broke her.” Came the voice of Fred.
“Awww, no fair.” I pouted in a whiny manner, before we both started chuckling.
Finally braking out of her stupor, Zecora finally manage to mutter something of some coherency.
“Oleander Of The Shadows? Could you truly be the one from the legends?” She inquired. It was strange hearing that title after so long. You see, I managed to make a bit of a name for myself for the two years I travelled in quite a many kingdoms. This led to quite a few legends appearing. I spent most of my times with the zebras, seeing as the actually accepted dark magic, as they believed it a part of nature along with light magic and elemental magic. There are a few other types too, but I’ll get into that later. This led to me being known as Oleander Of The Shadows, seeing as I managed to save many tribes with my magic. The one deed I did do for the Zebra, which was the most important to me, was save a certain zebra male named Zerecron. Other than Fred, he was my only friend. He was one of the first that I helped, and actually stayed with me in my travels, up until I returned to Equestria to face Discord. Good times.
“Yes, it is I” I stated simply, hoping not to overload the zebras brain anymore than I had. When I noticed her eyes widen. I merely gave a sigh of exasperation before a massive claw came down on my head.
(Third person P.O.V)
Zecora was filled with rage, both at herself and the recently reformed Timberwolf. Her own inability to know her surroundings, an ability she prided herself on, had ended up with both an ancestral friend dead, somepony she admired and swore she would never let die if she ever saw in real life, but also a legend amongst all zebras.
“Y-You! Do you realize what you have just done! You have sent a legend early to the sun!” Zecora shouted to the beast, which in confusion merely tilted its head. It might have been adorable, had Zecora not been in a state of such sorrow and rage. Instead, she merely entered a battle position. Just as she was about to charge, an all too familiar voice rung out above her.
“I told you, didn’t I? You are much too slow to even think about hitting me.”
(First person P.O.V: Oleander)
Now I know what you’re wondering. ‘How did you escape when the claw was right on your head?’ to which my answer would aggravate you to no end. Transverse. I have probably relied too much on that spell on the last hour, but as the saying goes, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. I was now floating in the air slightly above the claw, around eye level with the beast. I was honestly expecting it to shout ‘NANI?!’ at any moment, but oh well. You can’t win ‘em all
“Fred, you ready?” I asked. After getting a reply in the affirmative, the book opened down the middle and turned its pages upon my foe. “CHAPTER 26: SHADOW SPARK!” I shouted as a beam of dark magic erupted from the pages and decimated the massive Timberwolf. Upon the spell ending, there was but ashes left of the husk as the spirits returned to the forest. I slowly floated to the ground and turned to my stripey friend.
“So that is that.” I stated in order to prompt a response.
“But I thought you had died! Tell me, how did you deceive my eyes” she replied.
“Transverse,” I simply stated, starting to look bored. That fight was barely anything compared to what I’ve been through before, but I suppose it was a good warm up after a millennia in stone.
“well, I’d be honoured if you would return with me to my humble abode, it may not be much, but it is surely my home.” She replied to my nonchalance, which immediately piqued my interest, and so I agreed. We started walking through the forest talking about many things ranging from flowers to past experiences to the many ponies we have met. Upon entering a small clearing with one path leading off of it, I saw her house. It was simple, with some windows and tribal masks, as well as being a creepy tree. Upon entering it was a spacious room with a cauldron in the centre, many shelves full of potions, tribal masks on the walls, and a table with a few chairs by the window. We of course went over and sat on the chairs. Upon being offered a drink, I kindly declined.
“While much has been said about you, I have a feeling there is something you wish to tell true.” She rhymed, though I can tell that that one was a bit strange. Probably my fault, seeing as I am a literal legend to her, just sitting opposite her on the table.
“Yeah, if you wouldn’t mind to hear it, it’s of before when I became this.” I meekly asked, to, which upon hearing an affirmative, took some deep breaths, and told of how I came to be on this realm in this form.
(Over a millennia ago)
We were at a convention. Comic-con. Not that its that hard to remember. Not anymore. My brother had been meaning to take me to one in a long time. Some friends had come along to, and decided I should wear a costume. Now, I hated wearing things like costumes. Really I hated wearing anything beyond one top, trousers, underwear and socks and shoes. So I decided to meet them halfway. I got short term dye in my hair to turn the tips pink, got blue contact lenses, and got a fake tail to match my hair, as well as wearing grey. It was the closest thing to a costume I dared wear, and I looked like one of my favourite new characters. Oleander from Them's Fighting Herds.
I mean, she’s unicorn, who uses dark magic for the good cause, has a living weapon, said living weapon being a book, and an eldritch abomination, as well as having Fred, who for all intents and purposes, is kinda like a stand from JoJo. It fits soooo many things I liked. So I was at this con with my friends and family. Nothing much happened there. I got a few glaring eyes, and I did feel extremely nervous but that died down as the day went on. I was moving along with one of my friends when something caught my eye. There was a vendor in the corner. The vendor looked to be cosplaying as some creepy dude that I didn’t ow about. So I decided to take a look.
“It’s an honour to be visited by the Darkened Unicorn herself. So what can I do for you, Miss Oleander?” His voice was so creepy and well done, I couldn’t help but get a sparkle to my mind in glee. And it was strange, as although I was male, he was referring to me as a female. Not that I particularly cared, but I should of grown suspicious there and then. I merely talked it up to some role play. So I decided to play along. Noticing a book that looked very familiar, I grabbed it and hugged it close.
“I was wondering where I had misplaced Fred,” I said as nonchalantly as possible, “so how much do I pay the horrifying eldritch abomination who retrieved him for me?”
He merely chuckled in response and said “ah nothing much. Just £20.”
So I handed him the money and went on my merry way. As I was returning to my friends, I felt something strange coming from the book I was hugging. Suddenly, two massive hands of black and red energy arose from the ground, as dragged me with them back down. I didn’t even have a chance to scream.
(Present day)
“…and that is how I came to be here, in a body not my own, with an annoying talking book of nigh infinite knowledge and power.” I finished.
“That is quite the story to tell. I hope everything ended out well.” She plied with a thought of pondering on her face.
“Eeyup” I merely replied. But then we heard it, a massive roar followed by many screams, coming from the hamlet of
“PONYVILLE!” I shouted, quickly running to the door, Fred floating by me and Zecora following on.
Author's Note
Woooo. This was a blast to write, I am pretty sure that this series of stories may be dead in terms of new submissions, but nonetheless, it shall hopefully be a fine story. Please give me your thoughts.