“Carrot Top, we’ve been robbed!” shrieked Derpy. Most roommates would leap up out of their chair at that announcement, or at the very least, be concerned. But Carrot Top had heard Derpy cry wolf so many times (such as the time she thought an elf was replacing all her bras with smaller ones) that she barely glanced upwards from reading the morning paper.

“What did they take?” asked Carrot Top, in a voice of feigned interest. She hadn't had her morning coffee yet, and without it, she had no energy, or patience, for anything adversarial.

“My muffins!” cried Derpy. She pushed a plate in front of Carrot Top’s face, “look at this, there were six muffins on this plate when I went to bed last night, now there are only five.” Carrot Top observed that Derpy was right about that much, there were indeed five muffins on the plate, and a feint circle of crumbs indicating where a sixth had recently been. Derpy happened to be bending down right in front of Carrot's face, and consequentially, it was impossible for Carrot Top not to notice that Derpy was wearing a clumsily-tied bathrobe that was way too small to cover her gorgeous F-Cup rack. Derpy's robes always left a generous amount of cleavage showing, but from this angle, Carrot Top could see almost everything, and was captivated by the way Derpy's breasts jiggled while she continued to explain the fine intricacies of muffin forensics,

"...crumb trail, but I can't figure out how they got out afterwards, I know, right Carrot Top?"

"Er, huh?" asked Carrot, broken out of her lustful trance, "I-I- was just...." she stammered, sure that she was busted for staring, and grasping at straws to find some believable explanation.

"You were so shocked that someone would dare take muffins that didn't belong to them, that you couldn't even speak!" concluded Derpy.

"That works," thought Carrot Top. “Derpy, why would someone break into our house, and not steal something valuable, like my laptop or your jewelry?”

“Because they were hungry,” replied Derpy, sounding as assured as Sherlock lecturing Watson, “it’s not like you can eat gems.”

“If they wanted muffins, why wouldn’t they break into the bakery?”

“Because we don’t keep day-old muffins, we throw them out or take them home at the end of the day.”

“So you get as many as you want for free?”

“That’s not the point!” insisted Derpy.

As a non-consumer of muffins, Carrot Top was completely innocent, (not everyone was blessed with a metabolism like Derpy’s that sent every excess calorie to her breasts), and truth be told, she was moved by the fact that Derpy hadn’t accused her. “I’m sure it’ll turn up,” she said, hoping that would bring her roommate back to reality. Instead, Derpy went over to the linen closet and pulled out something from the very back.

“Aha, here it is! I knew I’d need this someday.” The coffeepot had finished brewing, and Carrot had turned her back to Derpy in the process of pouring herself a cup. She turned around, expecting to see some kind of muffin-safe, but saw instead that Derpy was holding what looked to be a small bazooka.

“Whoa, whoa WHOA!” exclaimed Carrot. She dropped her coffee cup on the floor and scurried backwards.

“Relax Carrot, it’s a net gun,” said Derpy cheerfully, “and I’m only gonna use it on muffin thieves.”

“All the same, I’d like it if you didn’t point that at me.” replied a shaking Carrot Top, gently nudging the barrel upwards.

“It’s ok, I’ve turned on the saf-” she was interrupted by a loud BANG as the gun went off, which startled her enough to make her leap onto Carrot Top’s lap. The gun, being pointed at the ceiling, fired a net straight up in the air, which then came down on top of the duo, tightening itself and forcing the two up against each other. Carrot Top found herself with her face buried in Derpy’s smooth silky blonde hair, which had a pleasant flowery aroma. More noticeably though, was the fact that Derpy’s robe had come open, and that her big, bouncy F-cup breasts were squishing against Carrot's modest B-cups.

There was a time in Carrot Top’s life where she didn’t really know what kind of guys or girls she was into. But a recent occurrence involving her, Derpy, no clothes and some oil, had shown her that she did indeed have a type: bubbly, blonde, busty girls. Derpy however, had remained blissfully oblivious to Carrot's feelings. So while Derpy apologized profusely as she fumbled for the strand of netting that would undo the webbing and free them, Carrot Top sputtered out,

“I-it’s no p-problem really… take your time.” And she meant that. With every slight movement that Derpy made in attempting to free them from their very sexy predicament, her nipples grazed against Carrot Top's skin through her thin cotton shirt. Carrot bit down hard on her lip, trying her damnedest to keep a lid on her arousal, but every moment she spent with the hottest girl in Equestria squirming around on her lap, was like trying to cork up an active volcano.

“There we go,” said Derpy finally, pulling the net off of them and rolling it up in her hands, not caring that she was still sitting in her roommate’s lap, her bare thighs straddling her like a lap-dancer. “Let’s get rid of this for now, I’ll work out the kinks later.” She pitched the net aside, but the movement caused the chair, unsteady under the weight of two people, to tip over backwards. Carrot and Derpy slammed into the floor, not injured, but with Derpy’s chest now grinding into Carrot’s face. Derpy, a bit dazed from the fall, was in no hurry to get off of her, but Carrot Top didn’t mind. Lying there in her personal soft, pillowy heaven, feeling all her stressors just fade away, she realized that maybe she didn’t need her coffee after all.

Author's Note

A multi-chapter clopfic? What madness have I gotten myself into?