She’s always been there for me.
Whenever I get sad, Smarty Pants is always able to cheer me up. The kids at school treat me bad. They think that because I’m smart, I’m weird and a nerd. It makes me sad. I have no friends at school. They’re a bunch of meanies. I don’t know why they like to pick on me. Mommy and daddy say it’s because they’re jealous of me.
I don’t know if they’re right. It hurts not knowing. I always want to know. If I can’t know, then they’ll pick on me for knowing. Just like they always do.
I’ve tried to tell them it’s not nice, but they never listen. It’s gotten to the point that now I just along with it and laugh with them. It hurts so much, but… at least some of them don’t say such mean things? I don’t know. Maybe they just seem less mean. Smarty Pants says that it’s because they want to be as smart as me. Just like mommy and daddy. I think she’s just saying that.
Oh yeah. I’ve heard mommy and daddy have tried to tell them to be nicer, but they don’t seem to listen. They usually just say, “Twilight, you’re my friend. You know that.” Hmph. That’s not true. Friends don’t act like this to friends. Princess Celestia told me herself! I… I think. I mean, I read it in a book. But it said she wrote it just for me. I… guess.
But that’s okay. Smarty Pants always waits for me to get home from school. I always rush upstairs and hug her. She’s my best friend… my only friend. She’s always there when I cry. Every day. She absorbs my tears. My sadness. My pain.
Every day…
She hugs me while I cry myself to sleep.
It’s not fun. I tell her how much I want it to all stop. My hurt. It’s not fun. I can’t even tell mommy and daddy how much it hurts. I don’t want to upset them. They cry when they see me cry. Mommy once ran to her room and didn’t come out until the next day. She said she was sick, but… I heard her crying. It was my fault. It’s all my fault. I’m smart and nopony likes that.
Daddy says I shouldn’t be upset. He says that smart ponies become really good ponies when they grow up. He says that if I stay smart, I will become a really good pony. I don’t know why he repeated himself, but he kept saying it. He didn’t cry, but he looked kind of upset that I was so sad. He works a lot, so he’s usually tired, but he never has much time to help me with a lot of stuff. I still love him though. He’s the best dad in the whole wide world. Just like mommy is the best mom in the whole wide world. They make me so happy. I just wish I didn’t cause them so much pain.
Smarty Pants says that it isn’t my fault. She says that I haven’t done anything bad. I don’t know if she’s just saying that or not. She’s never lied to me before, but I feel like I’ve done a lot wrong. I shouldn’t make mommy cry or daddy feel hopeless. They’re two of my best friends ever. Just like my… teachers. It feels weird having such older ponies as my friends. I thought I was suppose to be friends with ponies my age? Smarty Pants doesn’t think so, but she says it’s kind of interesting.
Oh well. At least the teachers like me. They like my company. They all say they wish they had more students like me and not bullies or kids who don’t do their work. I agree. It isn’t very nice to be so mean to teachers. Too bad they’re also busy most of the time. I like talking to them. Mommy and daddy say that I talk their ears off. I just want a friend to talk with at school though. Smarty Pants isn’t allowed to be in school. She waits in my room. I’m afraid that one day, she won’t be there when I get home. Mommy and daddy promise they’ll never throw her away, but… I’m still afraid.
I guess I’m afraid everyday though. I’m always afraid of being picked on. Being made fun of. Being alone. Not having mommy or daddy to make me happy.
Why do I have to be alone? Why can’t I have a friend? Why am I different? I don’t want to be different. I want a friend! The kids who have friends look happy and I want to be like that! I don’t like crying every night. It’s not fun. It hurts. My tummy always feels bad when I cry all night. My head feels funny after. It’s not fun! And it’s like that every day.
It’s no fun…
Mommy and daddy made a promise though. They said that they’re thinking of sending me to a better school. I think it’s the one Celestia runs. I need to take a big test before I can go in though. hope I can get in. Then I won’t have to deal with such meanies. No meanies means that everything will be good again! Mommy and daddy told me so.
Still, I don’t know if I can make any friends there. I hear the students are very to themselves.
Oh well. At least today is different. Mommy and daddy are trying to cheer me up by bringing me to a park today so we can play catch and have a picnic. They said spending time together will make me happy for the day and that taking things a day at a time is very important.
I wonder if I can make a friend at the park. Maybe some other pony like me will be there. Mommy and daddy said there might be somepony who will be my friend. I asked what I should do if I don’t find one. They said that I’ll always have them and Smarty Pants.
I… guess that’s true. I always will have Smarty Pants.
My best friend…
My only friend...
