What is going on here?

by Genesis890

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Human
Length: 1114

John is dead and he hijacks pony's bodies to stay alive, and he helps Luna keep an eye on Twilight.

*Story contains some language that is not suitable for younger viewers. Viewer Discretion is advised.*

John Smith is an average Joe who dies due to a car accident on his way to dropping off computer parts at a store. However, he wakes to find that he isn't dead. He isn't quite sure how, but he finds out that Princess Luna is behind it and she needs his help to keep an eye on Twilight. While in Equestria, he needs to use other bodies, because a human body can't exist in Equestria and his soul can't survive in a different world without a body.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-23 22:29:46 UTC

Hello, my name is John Smith

Hello, my name is John Smith, and I am dead. Well… kind of. Um, let me start from the beginning, again. Hello, my name is John Smith, and I am a twenty-two year-old male who ships computer parts to stores. Of course, that’s not the only thing I ship.  Oh, I’m also single, five feet six inches tall, and I weigh one hundred and thirty five pounds, so I’m available ladies. Oh, forget about this. I suck at trying to tell a story. I’m just some average joe who is only trying to make ends meet. You know how it is, you bust your ass all week making peanuts and you are expected to live off of it. Hey, boss,  I do love eating those ninety-nine cent crackers for each of my three meals, but do you think it’s about time to upgrade me to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches? Thanks. Sorry about ranting, but when you are dead, there isn’t much to do but rant. So, where was I? Oh, that’s right. I was dead, but not really. So, um, it happened sometime ago while I was making a shipment to a store. It was very late; I think three in the morning. I was doing someone’s else’s job because they called out. I’m not bitching, because a little bit of money is better than nothing. So, I was driving along to the last store before I could head home. To keep awake, I drank some cheap energy drink and I played around with my Lyra cutie mark necklace. Yeah, you heard me, I’m a brony. I like a girl’s show, but I will tell you this, it’s a very good show and people think you are weird for liking it. Well, I will tell you that bronies aren’t weird. We are normal peop--. Oh, sorry about that, ranting and all, it’s just that those type of things just get on my nerves. So, as I was saying, I was driving along minding my own business. I came to four-way stop and I reach it first, so I go. However, some jackass on my left is impatience so he tries to full it as I’m going. So my reflexes are non-existed due to my tired state, so he nailed me on the driver side and it caused no damage to the eighteen-wheeler that I’m driving. Too bad for me that he nailed the driver side, because  I started to cough up blood, and I eventually passed out. Some time later I woke up. My vision was blurred, my hearing was gone, and I couldn’t feel nor smell anything. It sucked, but I wasn’t dead so it wasn’t totally bad. I decided to try at least checking myself out and check out where I was, even through my vision was bad. I first wanted to check my hands to make I still had them. I took them of the covers and I examined them. It was freaky, my arms were green and my hands were gone. It didn’t feel painful, but my body could still be in shock or I’m on some kind of medicine and I had an allergic reaction that gave me green skin. Wait, no, I think it might be fur? Well, that’s odd. I decided to keep my mind off of it by looking around the hospital room. I guessed I was in a hospital because that would make sense after being in an accident. Even though my sight wasn’t the best it could be at the moment, I could at least tell that the place seemed very colorful. More colorful than most hospital rooms usually are, which I guess is good but it’s just weird. I didn’t have to sit alone for too long because two people walked in the room. Maybe it was my bad vision but it looked like two yellow looking people walked in on all fours, and I think one of them had a horn on their head. Okay, now I don’t know what is going on.  I think the Docs are plumbing me full of LSD or maybe I’m in a coma and all of this is a dream. It’s the only logically reason for all this. I notice that one of the yellow person with curly, blue and pink hair is coming toward me. The person comes close enough to hug me. I’m sort of freaked out by all of this, but I go along with it and hug the person back. I watch out of the corner of my eye as the other person, I assume, is the doctor because it looks like they are dressed as one. It is around this time that my hearing started to come back to me, because I heard the person hugging me say something.

“I didn’t think you were going to make it.” she said. It sounded like a woman’s voice to me, so I’m going to assume that this person is a she.  Anyway, that was nice of them to care about me, but WHO IS THIS PERSON!? “Oh, why do you not pay attention to your surroundings.” Hey, I was tired, lay off of me, I thought. I tried opening up my mouth to say something, but no sound came out. I guess I can’t speak either… gee, what a nice day this has been. The person then turned to the doctor and said “Doctor, how long is she going to be like this?” Wait, she? I’m a he, lady. Unless you are telling me that the Doctor did a sex change operation while I was asleep, then I should still be a he. However, I wouldn’t be that surprised given that they are pumping me up with LSD. Really, now. My insurance must be so bad that I could only get an unlicensed Doctor to check me out, great. Now, I know what you all are thinking. Hey, John, why don’t you get up and leave if everything seems so messed up to you. Well, I have two reason. One, remember that my sense are shot and are only slowly coming back. That means it isn’t a good idea to get up and leave, just yet that is. The second reason is that I’m too scared to try and leave because this Doc most likely sawed my legs off if he also performed a sex change operation on me while I slept. It was then that I noticed that the woman was looking in my direction again. “The Doctor said he doesn’t know when you will leave, but you will be will taken care of while you are here, Lyra.”