The mad mare of choice

by OnASeaOfDreams

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Cheerilee, Slice of Life, Berry Punch, Carrot Top, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3091

If we can’t tell between reality and fantasy, then can our imaginings tell?

We are all famous players in this game called life. One author might have some trouble distinguishing between his imagination and reality but can you blame the guy when his imaginings talk back to him?

Published 2018-03-01 08:10:07 UTC
Last updated 2018-03-03 09:24:37 UTC

Introducing the mad mare of choice!

It was a beautiful day in Equestria, which isn't a stretch, since they felt like making it a nice day.... The streets were a buzz with ponies of all kinds, one mare in particular caught the authors eye as she bounced effortlessly down the bolivard... bulivd...

"Ummm excuse me author, it's pronounced boulevard!" The pink mare said with a giggly snort. With a happy humm, she made her way to a rather oddly placed palace, made of rock and crystal. "Ya it does kind of clash with the cottages. At least that's what Rarity says."

Entering the door without a care in the world, the young mare made her way into the palace, to what would appear to be a conveniently placed library. In this library was another young mare, only she was purple, sporting both a set of wings and a horn of all things. She was some sort of unipegasus. "Twilight's a Alicorn silly." The pink pony said cheerfully.

"Ummm Pinkie Pie, were you just speaking to me!" The purple A-l-i-c-o-r-n said.

"Now you got it, good job!"

"Umm Thanks??" The purple mare said, with a questioning look in her eyes.

"Ohh, sorry Twilight! I was talking to somepony else!"

"Who.. there isn't anyone else in hear Pinkie!" Twilight asked, with a concerned look on her face.

"There's no need to be concerned. Somepony was just commenting on everything I was doing again!" Pinkie Pie remarked. "It's actually kind of flattering that so many ponies find me that interesting! Oh, before I forget, I brought you and spike some cupcakes!" The bubbly pink mare said, while fishing out a tray of cupcakes, from seemingly no where, and placing them down in front of Twilight.

"Thank you Pinkie!" Twilight said warmly to her friend. "But we are still alone in here, was this pony following you before or something?" The purple alicorn asked, confusion evident in her voice.

"Oh Twilight, don't worry, everything is fine!" Pinkie Pie said, while pulling her friend into a hug.

"Lalalalalaaalaaa," the sweet pink mare sung, as she made her way out of the palace.

The Alicorn mare Twilight, stared at the wall for that brief moment, as Pinkie Pie left her to her studies. "That mare has lost one to many marbles!" She whispered to herself, as she went back to her books.

"What did she say strange pony?" Pinkie asked in a whisper of her own!

Nothing really, she was just concerned for you is all.

"Oh, ya Twilight's like that, she's the princess of friendship you know." She announced as she exited the palace, and took to the streets once again.

You don't say?

"I do say. And I'm the element of laughter!" Pinkie Pie said, a look of pride plastered on her face, as she bounced down the road. "We're in Ponyville by the way!" She explained while eliciting a few stares of confusion from passing ponies, as well as making the occasional pony overly skittish from the odd behaviour!

Ok, that's a interesting name Pinkie. Kinda a weird for a town though!

Pinkie stopped and looked up; as if looking at the invisible voice! "I think it's a awesome, stupendous name! And it makes total sense.... I mean the town was founded, and mostly occupied by ponies!" The happy pink mare said!

Neat! Look I don't mean to break up this conversation, but I have to head to bed, can I catch up with you tomorrow?

"Sure Mr strange pony author! Drop by anytime!" Pinkie Pie said before pouncing away.

Author's Note

Hey so I got bored and needed to have a story to write where I could get away from the serious writings I’ve been doing lately. I wrote this story more as a exercise then a project but I think it has merit! Enjoy!

The voices don't get me to do things.... I get them to do things for me, silly.

Pinkie Pie was hard at work, baking delicious looking treats early that morning. After hours of work, a thin layer of flour coated the counters and floor. Splotches of icing decorated the kitchen, and sprinkles danced down off the edge of the table tops.

"Well, how are things going in here dearie?" A Teal mare asked the pink baker.

"It's going great Mrs Cake, today's orders are almost done, and just in time too! I've got a Birthday party to plan!" The pink mare exclaimed. "It also looks like my author friend is back!"

"Oh that's nice dear! Tell him I say hi, ok sweetie." Mrs Cake asked Pinkie Pie.

"He already knows Mrs Cake!"

"That's goooood dear!" The Teal pony said, before turning to leave the kitchen, a mild hint of shock encapsulating her thoughts! It didn't quite reach the all to familiar feeling of trauma, that can plague ponies, especially when confronted with a seemingly obscure statement. With how familiar 'Mrs Cake' was to Pinkie Pie, she had most likely adapted herself to the randomness of the Pink mare.

"Are you done yet?" Pinkie asked, while tapping her hoof on the counter.

Ya, I think so. I've run out of big confusing words anyhow!

"Okie Dokie Loki!"

"Oh just in case your wondering, it's Berry Punch's Birthday today!" Pinkie Pie answered; the as of yet unspoken; author's question!

Thanks.

"Awwww don't mention it!"

With a audible dinging sound, the baking was done! Pinkie Pie with a playful grin; and a pair of oven mitts; opened the oven and she removed the cakes! "Mmmmmm, can you smell that! It is the bestest smell in all of Equestria! Fresh baked goods!" Pinkie Pie said to no one!

I can't actually smell it, but my mouth is watering just thinking of it!

"That's to bad, mister author guy, but you aren't no one! What is your name anyhow?" The party mare asked!

No, don't stress about that. I actually don't exit in this world. Well I kinda do,
as I can see it all in my head! I'm just the author of this story if that makes sense?

"Ohhhh, and I'm in the story then, that is sooooo cool! What is the story about anyhow?" Pinkie spoke aloud to the air, as she expertly iced the cooling cakes.

Well, it looks like it will have a comedy, and slice of life title on it!

"Ok then, let's slice it up, and get down to the party!" The Pink mare shouted, as streamers erupted for nowhere.

Now your talking, but I'll be right back. I should say something about this 'Berry Punch' if it is her party!

"Ok mister author, she lives three blocks down, just take a right!" Pinkie Pie explained, as she began to pack the cake.

Thanks Pinkie, see you at the Party!

The ill named, but colourful, 'Ponyville' was bustling with ponies. Lunch time had arrived and the restaurants were full. Searching for one particular mare, could of been a challenge, but the author was wily, and the first thing he learned was that the marks on the ponies rear ends, had something to do with that ponies name! The second thing are intelligent, handsome and creative author learned, was that talking in the second person, probably meant you were insane, but he was cool with that!

Exactly three blocks away; give or take a garden or two; was the mare in question. The tattoo of grapes and berries on her butt gave her away.

"Heya Berry, I've come to pick up that juice order! Is it ready yet?" A slender, grey pony, in a blue set of overalls asked.

"Of coarse Steady Supply, it's just over there!" Berry Punch said, as she finished bottling the last of the beverage. "Alright! That, should, do it!"

"Wow, you're done early!" Steady said.

"I know, I had too! It's my birthday today, and I got plans to go out. I'm meeting up with my friends early; so we can plan things out!" She sung out happily.

"That's great Berry! Happy birthday!" Steady Supply congratulated her, with a hurried half cocked smile.

"Oh Author. Author... HEY AUTHOR!!!!!!" Pinkie screamed. "Oh good there you are, so what did you find out about tonight?" The pink mare asked.

Only that she's done her orders early, and she's almost ready to meet up with her friends.

"Oh no, oh no, not good. This is awful..." the party mare announced, as she bit her lip.

What's wrong now?

"I haven't talked to Cheerilee or Carrot Top yet; they don't know to come over here after diner. Author pony I really need your help!" She asked the nothingness in a pleading manner.

Ummmm, ok, what did you have in mind?

"You'll have to distract her while I bolt over and tell them!" Pinkie strategized, as she; all of a sudden; dawned a trench coat, and a pair of sunglasses in a attempt to play the bit of a undercover spy.

How am I supposed to 'distract' Berry Punch, I don't even exist here?

"Oh you'll think of something!" The presumptuous mare said, as she ran off ditching her accessories!.....

"I CAN STILL HEAR YOU!"

The delivery colt finished loading his cart as Berry was cleaning up. He then proceeded to pull out a clipboard with a pen before approaching Berry.

"Please fihqox wipodit fout" Steady Supply said.

A bewildered Berry Punch looked up, confusion written all across her face. "Excuse me, I didn't quite get that?" Asked the dumbfounded mare.

"Giyyedouf wfggiqwazzel gz eloupdour papers!" Steady repeated in a holy nonsensical language.

She looked at him, almost cross eyed before shaking her head rapidity, closing her eyes, and putting a hoof to the left side of her head to massage her temple. "Ok, one more time?"

"Lcvidious Ozic sign gugafiwixo jozzufirin" He repeated very slowly.

"You want me to sign the papers?" Berry asked him, repeating his slow, off putting tone.

Nodding in a slow deliberate speed, Steady Supply held out the clip board for Berry to take. When she finished, the confused looking mare handed it back to the colt.

"Alright, thank you miss, but I think you may want to go get yourself checked out at the hospital. You seem a little out of it!"

"Ya, ya, that sounds like a good idea" Berry Punch agreed, still looking peaked, and out of sorts.

"Goooood ok, so again have a happy birthday doll, and I'll see ya tomorrow!"

"Ummm thank you!" Berry said before leaving for the hospital.

Ha the hospitals that way, I passed it when I got here!

"Thanks... wait, who said that?" Berry Punch said, after doing a one eighty towards the hospital!

Oops!

"Who's there already!!! Uuggggg."

Author's Note

Part two of my imaginary drippings.

One in the bottle, equals two in the cork.......

The three mares Cherrlee, Carrot Top, and Berry Punch left the restaurant almost a hour later. With a botched shuffling canter, Berry stumbled forward though the door, her own inertia flung the mares body forward and she wheeled herself into a standing position ninety degrees from her intended direction. The inebriated mare dumbstruck to her current position, decided to stammer ahead to catch up to her friends.

"Abut augther pony, I'mmmm surrre day weeent this wayyy!" Berry slurred.

"Hey idd's my Birthumday, lay off meee! Hiccup!”

The sudden outburst shocked the passing ponies, causing her two friends to wince, and double back for their intoxicated friend.

"Berry, this way now we don't want to be late!"

"NO... I'm on ah misson! You cannout run I willll getju! Hehehe...he!.... whare are e going?" Berry asked.

"Oh lord, did you have to drink that entire bottle of wine sweetie. We're going to cupcake corner for dessert, remember!"

"Yaaaay!"

"Aallllright! Everything is ready! This, is, going to be, the most, super spendistic surprise, eevvvverr!" The young mare sang out! "Oh hey there Mr. Author pony!”

Hey Pinkie! Oh no darn it!

"Ahha, I newwd ya mess up zoomhow!" Berry exclaimed to thin air! “You are nut thin air, you r da author pony..... Dats a silly name!... ahhaha......" the violet mare started to snicker, but was soon distracted be a low flying bird! “Ooohhhh hey little birdie. Where ya.... hiccup..... goin?”

Ok Pinkie that should distract her for a few minutes.

"Ummm, what's going on with Berry Punch Mr. Author?" Pinkie Pie asked, head half cocked and lips tight in a quizzical expression!

Well ok, so you remember when you asked me to distract Berry Punch?

"Yes I do! That was only a few hour ago silly!"

Right I guess I forgot, I've been writing this in my spare time for a couple weeks now and I'm just catching up myself! So back on topic, I kinda messed with the words that were being spoken to her, and now she can hear everything I say!

"Oh that is so cool, wecanhaveawelcometoponyvillemr.autherpony/happybirthdayberrypunchparty!!!"

No. Well sure fine, but there is a bigger issue here. Berry is drunk and freaking out; real conspiracy theory stuff!

"I caaan sill hear u! I knew Pinkie uz a purt of dis!"

Ok, well Berry! Can I call you Berry?

"Yezs"

Good, look I'm not up to anything, I don't have a nefarious plan and I'm not here to take over anyponies brain with mind control powers! I am just writing a story!

“A likilly story, come on girz let's goo ta zuger cube coner!” The very obnoxious and inebriated pony mare said as she started to gallop off in a uncoordinated sprint.

"About Celesta given time" Carrot Top announced as she and Cherrlee chased after her.

Dodging ponies left, right, center, up, down, above, below, upside down, right side up, vertically and horizontally she made her way to the bakery. With all the coordination of the most agile new born foals, Berry Punch lunged forward into the still closed door of Sugercube Corner. Not to be detoured by the now less then prominent mussel she now sported, she quickly got back to her hooves and opened the door. In a rush she stumbled into the deserted base of operations of the cupcake creator; now turned rouge enemy agent; know as Pinkie Pie!

Shoots of surprise, with war cries of happy birthday greeted her as the bakery was suddenly illuminated. With a deft ponce, the only somewhat started Berry, lunged at the traitorous pink villain, but in her haste she forgot to move ‘the entire left side of her body!’ She toppled down onto the floor and skidded to a stop in front of the pink party pony. A shocked silence fell over the room, as Berry Punch came to the conclusion that this was a surprise party and not a terrorist block bent on ill doings!

“Can you please be quite, I have a splitting headache!” Berry asked and everypony took heed, as they watched the display with utter shock.

Well can’t say I didn’t warn you.

“It’s alright Mr. Author, I’ll take it from hear!” The Prismatically pink party pony pointed out plainly pleased by the perplexed purple Punch’s paradoxical predicament, while placing....

“Author that’s good and all but I got this.”

Oh right umm.... sorry Pinkie.

“So you may want to get up and enjoy the party. It is your extra special bombastic birthday day Berry!”

“Ah wite. Sue your not derrerists?”

“Nope!”

“Ahkay, but ou’z da ahtor pony? Hiccup.”

I’m just a guy writing a story.

“Ya he’s just a little kooky crazy is all!” Pinkie exclaimed. “Alright Berry it’s time to party hardy!” The Party pony announced, streamers exploding out around her as if on cue!

And so the party went on for hours on end. The majority of Ponyville danced, played games and eating merrily. The two insane mares...

“Did ee dust call us imsane?” Berry asked.

Well you called me crazy!

“That was kooky crazy and it’s a perfectly acceptable term!” Shouted the pink party pony.

It’s Not where I come from!

“Oh that’s it! I’m ending the story!”

But Pinkie you can’t it’s my story!

“Oh ya, just watch me!”

The End!

Author's Note

That was fun, thanks for reading everyone!

If you don't tell them, she'll turn into a pumpkin and then all the grapes will be gone!

"Problem, what problem, I've got everything ready for the party, everyone should be here in like a hour! Berry is at lunch with Cheerilee and Carrot Top it’s the perfect plan wahahaha!" She said.

That's not what I meant! Berry's onto us.

"I CAN HEAR YOU! What are you planning and who are you talking too!" Berry shouted out, eyes crazed, and chest heaving.

"Ummmm their isn't anyone speaking Berry!? Is everything ok?" Cheerilee asked, as she turned her head too Carrot Top; hoof raised to her mouth to muffle her words! "How much has she had to drink today Carrot?"

"That's her first one!” The orange maned mare whispered back.

"Hey, I'm not drunk, or crazy. There's just somepony that I can't see, explaining everything that we're doing, and I think he's talking to another pony somewhere else, that I can't see ether." Berry explained in a serious tone; her eyes darting from the left and to the right, of the posh restaurant table.

Cheerilee's and Carrot Top's eyes darted from the disturbed mare, to each other's, and back again, their smiles giving away a air of nervousness. "So Berry you know those flowers I gave you this morning for your birthday, they were just decorative. If you ate them, ever just slightly, well they are hallucinogenic and....." Cheerilee's coment was cut short, dying in her throat with a not so subtle gulp.

"I AM NOT HALLUCINATING!" Berry shouted out.

"Author, what was that all about with Berry, Carrot Top and Cherrlee?" The confused mare asked.

Just trust me ok, it's not good, something went wrong when I was distracting Berry, and she's on to us. No names ok, and I'm going into hiding for the next hour! God help us!

"What did you do, what's happening in an hour, dam it tell me! I will find you!"

"Berry eat up ok, it's your birthday meal! Those carrots came from my farm you know!"

"Fine, but mark my words girls. Something is going down in a hour. And I will find out what!"

Author's Note

I know this was a short chapter! Or was it a long point!