Where Were You, Discord?

by PoisonClaw

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Fluttershy, My Little Pony: The Movie, Random, Discord, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 2490

Twilight seeks answers for Discord's whereabouts during the Canterlot invasion. He has an odd way of answering her questions.

After the Storm King's invasion of Canterlot, Twilight realizes just how scarce Discord seems to become during any kind of crisis. He would have been a huge help in repelling Tempest and her armada, after all! Seeking answers, Twilight decided it was about time Discord explained himself.

This is Discord, so she should have known it wasn't going to be that simple.

Published 2018-04-15 23:40:06 UTC
Last updated 2018-04-15 23:40:06 UTC

Lights, Camera!

Fluttershy hummed to herself as she tended to her garden, hovering over the flowerbed with a watering can in her hooves. She took special notice of how her azaleas were coming in, making a note to pick a few for a salad for dinner.

“Fluttershy!”

Perking up at the sound of her name, Fluttershy glanced over her shoulder to see a familiar face walking up the path towards her cottage. “Oh, hello, Twilight,” she greeted, flying over to meet her friend. As she got closer though, she gasped at the sour look on Twilight’s face, a frown etched across her lips. “Oh my, is everything alright?” she asked. “You look—”

“Annoyed?” Twilight harshly replied, her ears drooping in remorse as Fluttershy flinched back at the bark in her voice. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you, it’s just…” With a sigh, she tried to force a smile on her face to try and ease the tension in the air. “It’s just been one of those days, you know?”

“Oh my… Is there any way I can help?”

“Actually, there is. You wouldn’t happen to know where Discord is, would you?”

Fluttershy took a step back, tilting her head slightly. “Why? Do you need his help with something?”

“Help? No. I would, however, like to have a word with him. I’ve tried looking all over town, but I haven't been able to find tail or claw of that Draconequus anywhere!”

“What about that spell Princess Celestia gave you? The one you used to summon Discord before?”

With a huff, Twilight’s frown returned as she pulled something from her saddlebags and passed it to Fluttershy, who giggled at the Discord doll in her hooves. Hanging around the doll’s neck was a “Do Not Disturb!” sign, with “Especially by stuffy Princesses of any kind!” scrawled at the bottom.

“He’s taunting me, I just know it!” Twilight growled, seemingly wishing she could set the doll on fire with her eyes.

“It is kind of funny,” Fluttershy said while still admiring the adorable doll.

“Hilarious,” Twilight muttered dryly. “Anyway, since everything else I tried failed, I figured the best course was to come to you for help. You are his friend, after all, so if anypony would know what kind of trouble he’s getting up to, it’d be you. Have you seen him around lately?”

“Uh... “ Glancing away, Fluttershy ruffled her wings nervously as her ears wilted. “Well… you see… Uh…”

Twilight squinted at the suddenly skittish mare. “You have seen him, haven’t you?”

“Uh… maybe?” Flashing a smile, Fluttershy prayed that Twilight would just drop the subject altogether. No such luck, as Twilight stepped closer, the scowl on her face making Fluttershy take a protective step back.

“Fluttershy, if you know where he is, then tell me.”

“I…” Steeling her nerves, Fluttershy tucked the doll beneath her wing before meeting Twilight’s eye and stamping her hoof down. “Sorry, Twilight, but I can’t.”

“What!?” Twilight screeched, flaring her wings as her mouth hung open in disbelief. “But… but why not? Give me one good reason why you can’t tell me where he’s hiding!”

“Because I promised him I wouldn’t.”

In the blink of an eye, any fight Twilight had disappeared, her wings hanging loosely against her sides. While part of her still wanted to argue further, her better judgment told her that it would be useless, since she knew that a promise between friends was not something made lightly. “Oh…” was all she could think to say in response.

“I’m sorry,” Fluttershy replied remorsefully, reaching over and placing her hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “I wish I could help you, but…”

“No, you don’t have to apologize,” Twilight said, understanding reflected in her expression. “A promise is a promise, and I’d be a terrible friend if I made you break a promise for me. Guess I’ll just have search elsewhere. Sorry to bother you, Fluttershy.” With that, Twilight turned around and began to walk back down the path towards town.

“Wait!”

Grinding to a halt, Twilight looked behind her to see Fluttershy running up to her. “Fluttershy, you don’t have to—”

“I just remembered!” Coming to stop, Fluttershy smiled as she said, “Discord told me that if you ever came looking for him, there was something I needed to give to you. He said it would explain everything.”

“Really?” Twilight asked hopefully.

Nodding, Fluttershy gestured to her cottage. “It’s inside. If you’ll wait a moment, I can get it for you.”

“That’d be great! Oh, thank you, Fluttershy!” With that, the two turned and headed back towards Fluttershy’s cottage, a noticeable spring in Twilight’s step.

***

“So…” Fluttershy asked as she rummaged around in a chest for the item she had mentioned. “What was it you wanted to talk to Discord about? It’s not urgent, is it?”

Comfortable sitting on Fluttershy’s couch, Twilight took a sip from her cup of tea that Fluttershy had graciously provided her. “No, it’s not vitally important,” Twilight replied, much calmer than when she’d arrived. “I’ve just been thinking lately and thought to look into something that’s been bugging me.”

“Bugging you how?” Fluttershy asked as she dug deeper and deeper into the chest, sticking herself inside almost past her withers.

“It’s about the Friendship Festival we held in Canterlot, or more accurately the Storm King’s invasion of it.” Twilight stared into the depths of her tea at the memories of the trials her and her friends had faced after Canterlot had been seized. “I’m glad everything turned out well in the end, but I couldn’t help but ask afterwards, ‘Where was Discord during all this?’ He seems to be conveniently absent anytime his antics would have actually proven useful, and I figured it was about time I got a straight answer out of him. Or what qualifies as a straight answer for Discord anyway…”

“Aha! Here it is!” Popping her head out of the chest, Fluttershy held something in her hooves as she fluttered over to Twilight, nestling down next to her on the couch. “Here you go, Twilight.”

Twilight blinked at the object in Fluttershy’s hooves. “A film reel?” Levitating it towards her, Twilight turned it over again and again in her magic, examining it closely for anything unusual or out of place. No matter how hard she looked, though, it looked like a typical roll of film, something that made her even more worried. “Why would Discord tell you to give me this?”

“I’m not sure, he didn’t say,” Fluttershy replied with a shrug of her shoulders before taking a sip of her own tea. “All he said was that if anypony came around looking for him, I was to give them that.”

“I guess it’s better than nothing,” Twilight admitted, slipping the film reel carefully into her saddlebags and jumping down from the couch. “Thanks for the help and the tea, Fluttershy, but I should probably get out of your mane already.”

“You’re leaving already?” Fluttershy asked, her eyes glimmering with disappointment. “But I was just about to make lunch…”

Pausing at the door, Twilight considered it for a moment before turning back around with a smile. “You know what, lunch sounds wonderful.”

Fluttershy couldn’t help but squee with delight.

***

“Twilight? You in here?” Starlight stuck her head into the map room of the castle, blinking at the scene of her mentor fighting to get a film projector to work.

“Work, you stupid—!”

And losing, badly. Starlight suppressed a giggle as Twilight glared at the piece of equipment as it refused to obey her commands. “Needs some help?” Starlight asked, getting Twilight’s attention.

“Oh, Starlight! Perfect timing!” With a hopeful grin on her face, Twilight looked towards her student. “I don’t suppose you can get this old thing to work?”

“I can certainly try,” Starlight replied as she walked up the projector. As she began to fiddle around with the inner machinery, she asked, “So, what are we watching?”

“Don’t know,” Spike replied as he walked into the room with a bowl of freshly popped popcorn in his arms, plopping down on a cushion set near the projector. “Something Discord made.”

“Discord?” Pausing, Starlight glanced over her shoulder towards Twilight, unease written across the unicorn’s face. “I don’t know about this. Did you—”

“Yes, I already ran it through a thorough analysis, including half a dozen spells to detect any inherent magic. All came up clean, so it’s as safe I can make it without potentially damaging the film.”

“Alright, but if we all suddenly turn into llamas halfway through, I’m blaming you.” After a few moments of tinkering with the projector, Starlight proudly announced, “And… done!” before slamming the paneling shut.

“Perfect!” With a pop of her magic, a film screen appeared on the far wall and unfurled itself Flicking the lights off, the only other source of illumination besides the screen was from the chandelier as Twilight joined her assistant and student on the cushions as they all settled in to watch.

Following the initial countdown, the words “A Chaotic Production” in gold font faded into view, a circle in the middle showing a still snarling chimera. After a brief cut to white, the film truly opened up on a sweeping shot of the inside of Fluttershy’s cottage, the camera taking a moment to focus on a long table loaded with food taking up the bulk of the room.

What immediately stood out, however, was that none of the food looked at all appetizing, consisting of weird and downright gross combinations that might have made a pregnant mare leap for joy, but only made Twilight’s and Starlight’s stomachs turn.

“Why, hello!” Prancing in to frame from offscreen, Discord gave a toothy grin before taking a large bite of what appeared to be a sauerkraut and linguini sandwich. Slurping up a stray noodle dangling from his mouth, the Draconequus swallowed as he once more addressed the audience. “How nice of you to visit me today! Sorry if I don’t offer you a seat, as you can see I’m quite busy.”

Finishing off his sandwich, Discord scooped up a raw onion and proceeded to dunk it in a jar of peanut butter. “If you’re watching this, then I’m assuming that you must need me for some matter of only the utmost importance.”

Tossing the peanut butter covered onion into his mouth whole, Discord chewed for a moment before swallowing. “Well, you’re in luck! I do in fact do birthdays!” Pulling a balloon from his ear, he inflated it before twisting it into a balloon poodle. “Sadly, you’ll have to talk to my secretary about scheduling, as I’m booked solid for the next little while.” Tossing the balloon animal over his shoulder, a loud crash and a cry of “My leg!” came from offscreen as Discord switched to drizzling mustard over a slice of chocolate cake.

“See, there comes a time in every Draconequus’s life where he starts feeling certain urges…”

“Oh, please tell me he’s not going to start going on about the birds and the bees,” Spike said fearfully, burying his head in his popcorn like an ostrich in the sand.

“... Urges telling him it’s time he took a long and well-deserved nap.”

“Oh, thank Celestia,” All three muttered with a sigh of relief.

“So, I figured it was time I settled down for the winter...”

“It’s summer,” Twilight muttered.

“So I’m preparing for the long sleep ahead of me.” With a snap of his fingers, Discord was now dressed in a nightgown and cap. “This sleep is called ‘Hi-ber-na-tion’.” With a wave of his lion’s paw, the word “hibernation” appeared in bold and colorful lettering at the bottom of the screen. “During hibernation, animals don’t like it when you barge in and wake them up, so do not disturb!”

In a blink, Discord pounced at the screen, starling Twilight, Starlight, and Spike as he pressed his face up against the screen and pointed a finger directly at Twilight. “That means you, Twilight!”

Pulling back, Discord conjured up a fork as he began to take bites from his mustard coated cake. “But, don’t you all fret! Your old pal, Discord, will be back in a month, two tops. Until then, you’ll just have to survive without my special brand of chaos in your life.”

Twilight stared blankly at the screen, muttering, “Oh, how will we ever survive?”

“Until then, toodles!” With a wave, the screen abruptly cut to black as silence filled the room.

“Well…” Starlight said after a moment, “that was… interesting…”

Getting up from his seat, Spike carried his now empty bowl in his arms as he walked towards the door. “I’m going to get more popcorn,” he said before stepping out, leaving the two mares alone.

Twilight huffed, crossing her hooves over her chest. “Fine, so he needs to take a nap. That still doesn’t answer why he seems to disappear whenever there’s a crisis!”

“One more thing!” Both mares jumped as the screen suddenly burst to life, Discord’s face filling the screen. “If you’re also wondering why I don’t fly in on my magic carpet and save your pony butts everytime something happens, the answer to that is quite simple: Cause otherwise you wouldn’t learn anything! And here I thought you were supposed to be smart, Twilight!” Again, the screen went black as the reel of film popped free from the projector and rolled across the floor, coming to a stop in front of Twilight and Starlight.

“... That answer your question?” Starlight asked after a moment, glancing at her mentor.

Twilight blinked, staring down at the reel lying at her hooves as she nodded her head.

***

That evening, Fluttershy finished feeding all the animals that lived near her cottage before stepping inside. As she closed the door behind her, she flipped the lock shut before flying over and closing all the blinds. After checking to make sure she wasn’t being watched, Fluttershy tiptoed over to the bookcase at the back of the room and pulled on one of the books. The sound of grinding machinery could be heard as the bookcase popped from the wall and slid aside, revealing a hidden staircase behind it.

Careful not to make too much noise, Fluttershy crept down the stairs before coming to a door. Carefully pushing it open, she peered inside. The entire room was decorated in vibrant colors, a sanctuary of Fluttershy’s own design where she could practice her hobbies in peace. However, the room was currently being used for a different purpose.

Nestled at the back of the room was a large sized bed, the unmistakable form of Discord curled up beneath butterfly covered bed sheets. He lovingly clutched a stuffed bear to his chest as he snoozed, a snot bubble on his nose inflating and deflating with each breath.

Fluttershy beamed at the sight, whispering, “Sweet dreams, Discord…” before gently closing the door.