A Tale of Dusk

Chapters

Chapter 1: It begins with a (rain)boom.
Chapter 2: Situation normal, but not nominal
Chapter 3: We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto.
Chapter 4: Of Princesses and Perils
Chapter 5: Different Folks, Different Strokes
Chapter 6: Dusk, meet the Twins.
Chapter 7: Intrigue and Insects
Chapter 8: The shirt off my back
Chapter 10: Attention shoppers, we are having a sale on towels, awkward situations and stalking in aisle 10
Chapter 11: Consistent incoherency
Chapter 12: Poles, Psychopaths and Premonitions
Chapter 13: Revelations and Trib-ulations
Chapter 14: Stick Situations and a Taste of things to cum
Chapter 15: Mothers, Closets and ...
Chapter 16: The morale shall continue until the beatings improve!
Chapter 9: Any situation can be solved with a well-aimed party cannon.

Chapter 1: It begins with a (rain)boom.

Author's Note

The Usual Disclaimer:

The following is a work of parody, and is protected as Fair Use under section 17 U.S. Code § 107 of US Copyright Law. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and all affiliated characters are property of Hasbro Inc.

I own nothing. All characters, settings and other belong to their respective owners. This is purely a fan-work with no intent towards profit, slander or harm towards the characters, settings or other, or their respective owners. If the respective owners feel that this fan-work in any way, shape or form threatens or besmirches their property, please let me know so that it be can be removed asap.

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Hey all. So, I'm not stopping my other story, but I need something to recharge my mental batteries and unclog this writer's block, so a far more chaotic story featuring Dusk Shine, Spine and some other crack-fiction changes to the MLP story is on the way while I try to get the wheels greased on my more serious story.

Some of you may notice some more ... darker political themes in this series. That's intended. Part of it is because I need a place to purge some of the stuff I have to deal with at work, and as a member of a support group for single mothers. Part of it is because I get rather annoyed with the 'parasitic' folks who latch onto worthy causes and drain the momentum and enthusiasm the rest of us bring to those causes to empower themselves and use it for social climbing.

In short, I hate virtue signallers and the current trend of 'got mine, screw you' and 'I will scream at anything and everyone who disagrees with me'-styles of activism that's all the rage now. It's not over till we're all equal in the eyes of law and in society, male, female or that rainbow spectrum in-between, whether you're black, white, pink with yellow polkadots or from the rings of saturn.

And now, I have to go return this soap-box and get on with the story ...

Chapter 1: It begins with a (rain)boom.

Chapter One:

Fate is a fickle, fickle thing. What should be could become a never-was with just a blink of an eye, a cautioning word uttered at the wrong time would cause the very event the speaker sought to avoid, or even just the twisted amusement of the universe at large unfortunately falling upon an event at precisely the wrong moment.

These thoughts came to Celestia as she attempted to guide the young Pony, no more six or seven years old at most, before her away from accidentally blowing up herself and a significant chunk of Canterlot Castle, the tiny purple Unicorn wrapped in a staggering amount of chaotic magic. A surge, possibly the most powerful on record, and the fools she’s placed to oversee the students’ testing had either fled or had been transmogrified into inanimate objects because, once again, they had neglected to obey her and not put up defensive wards first before the tests.

If we make it through this nightmare without the child blowing up, I am going to have some words with the testers about not assuming every child coming in for the exam is some hopelessly inept noble’s brat who thinks merely being functional with their telekinesis makes them the next Starswirl the Bearded!

Thankfully, the young Unicorn was able to latch onto the princess as a calm point in her emotional storm, and with some gentle nudging, was able to reverse the effects of their magic on their parents, the newly hatched Dragon she had grown to adult-size, then the test overseers, and finally hersel …

With an pop so loud that it nearly deafened everypony in the room, and Celestia would swear that at that point in time, she could hear howling laughter from a certain damned statue in her garden, the raw, swirling maelstrom of magic vanished like a soap-bubble touching a needle, and the poor Pony dropped to the ground, still transformed. The poor thing simply couldn’t channel any magic anymore!

Celestia’s horn blazed with power as she tried to undo the transformation, her eyes widening as she attempted to unravel the magical alterations to no avail. Celestia was able to move the Sun and push the Moon around with her divine powers, yet somehow this tiny Pony’s own accidental, untrained flesh-crafting spells were as immoveable to the Solar Monarch as Canterlot mountain was to the humble ant.

“Twilight? Twilight!” Two voices, a Mare and Stallion behind her, shouted in alarm over the terrified blubbering of the officials and the exhausted crying of the newly-hatched Dragon as Celestia leaned down and gathered up the exhausted, smoking Pony to her, cradling the tiny form to her chest.

“Night Light, Twilight Velvet … I am so sorry.” Princess Celestia said softly as the frantic parents ignored the guards and the officials to rush towards her, and their child. “It appears you have lost a daughter … but gained a son.”

A hiccupping cry, and a spurt of green fire that would have set her tail alight had she not had an innate connection to the Sun itself made the Solar Monarch look down, to where the newborn dragon was reaching up to her, no, to Twilight Sparkle.

“And perhaps another daughter, at that.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Much later, with both parents having several shots of brandy in them to calm their nerves and both the transmuted Twilight and the exhausted baby Dragon tucked into a cocoon of blankets at Princess Celestia’s side, a fire-proof pacifier stuffed into the Dragon’s face and a magic-negating horn-muffler slapped onto the slumbering filly, errr, colt, the Princess tried to help the frazzled parents understand exactly what had occurred to their beloved child.

That they accepted being turned into potted plants so easily made Celestia’s eyebrows rise up to the point they almost merged with her flowing tri-coloured mane, yet could still make such a fuss over their former daughter’s unwitting changes to herself was almost comical, but she had seen far stranger reactions to such bizarre events in her long life.

“But … can’t you try again? Undo the spell? I mean, you’re Princess Celestia, for Celestia’s sake!” Night Light hiccupped, holding his teary wife as the two Ponies stared down at their slumbering son, horn wrapped in bandages with a magic-nullifying cone-shaped muffler placed over the top of that, just in case of a second surge of uncontrollable magic.

“As I have already said several times, Night Light, I have tried. Whatever forces Twilight Sparkle invoked during her surge, she imbued herself, the egg and everything else in the room with raw, uncontrollable magic. Her own personal alterations were done with enough energy and emotional power that it would take me weeks of effort, directing all my considerable power at that, to unravelling the changes with any degree of safely to myself and those around me, let alone preventing my counter-spell from doing horrendous amounts of damage to this young … colt in the process. Potentially lethal amounts of damage, I might point out. And even then there is no guarantee that I could even permanently force her transmutation spell back on my own. From the way you have reacted thus far, I expect you are both well aware that spontaneous transmutations are notoriously difficult for any caster but the original one to reverse, yes?” The Solar Monarch explained again, keeping her face and tone of voice as calm and low-pitched as possible to avoid another round of hysterics from the couple. The last thing anyone needed was for the child to wake up to his parents wailing and sobbing in each other’s arms, let alone the small Dragon hatchling that had apparently fixated on Twilight as it’s mother … father … parental figure! “The fact that the time taken off to attempt to ‘cure’ Twilight would also interfere with running this country, let alone raising and lowering the Sun and Moon, what you are asking for is simply impossible right now! Until Twilight herself … until he is capable of undoing the spell, which will take many years of research and self-searching on his behalf before we can safely begin any procedure to return Twilight to his original gender, we will simply have to help this young colt come to terms with this fickle twist of fate.”

‘Self-searching?” Night Light asked softly, a tormented expression on his face.

“The last time I saw such a powerful flesh-crafting spell, the caster was literally funnelling their own emotions into the spell, along with an alien source of magic to supplement their own. It took me weeks to understand the nature of the spell this individual had cast upon their own body, and that was with the caster long absent due to the side-effects of the transformation. I suspect that, in her panic, young Twilight focused on a male relative or figure of great importance in her life, and with all the chaos and confusion and her young, untrained mind, the power of her magic warped her body to more closely resemble her ‘champion’ in an attempt to feel more in-control of the situation.” Feeling the prick of guilt and ancient memories as she put forth her theory, the Solar Monarch couldn’t help but smile softly as the two children in the room mumbled together and gripped each other tighter in their cocoon of blankets. “In my case, sadly, the caster turned themself into a form similar to what they believed was the source of their torments … hence why I am curious as to why such a young filly may subconsciously want to become a colt? Anything you can think of may help in a possible counter-spell …”

“Twi-Twiley has always said she loved stories about Starswirl the Bearded. And she adores her older brother.” Twilight Velvet sniffled, dabbing at her eyes in a futile effort with a hankerchief that was already sopping wet with tears. “She wuh-once said she wished she was a colt, so she could fuh-follow him into the military after she learned the Royal Guards stationed at Canterlot Castle are all Stallions by tradition. She was devastated when Shining left for training at the Academy.”

“Heh … do you remember when she tried to cut her hair so she’d look more like a boy and tried to fill in an application form at the recruiter’s, sweetie?” The stallion, Night Light, chuckled softly, looking with fond, sad eyes at his child. “Poor thing ended up nearly shaving her head bald, and we had to buy a wig for her till her mane grew back in.”

Princess Celestia kept the parents talking, hoping to glean clues, but after a half-hour of what would otherwise be adorable stories of the new colt’s childhood, all she had learned was that Twilight Sparkle adored his older brother, worshipped Starswirl the Bearded, and the young Unicorn was a devout bibliophile and had an obsession with learning that uncomfortably reminded Celestia of Starswirl himself … and his eventual fate.

And yet, those are traits that might come in handy for reversing her, or rather, his condition. Celestia thought to herself as she picked up the two children, who were still clinging to one another in their blankets, and smiled sadly down at them. “Well, it is a start, at least. However … there are two problems we may face.”

“Your Majesty?” The parents asked together, looking at her with looks of hope and concern.

“First of all, I will have to keep Twilight Sparkle close to me, to ensure his next surge can be controlled, and that he will not cause himself or those around him further harm.” The Solar Monarch reached down and tickled the young Colt’s nose with a long white finger, her smile warming into one of genuine pleasure as the little Unicorn nuzzled his new ‘sister’ in his sleep. “The second is that, for the sake of your family’s safety, we’re going to have to change some things down at the Hall of Records.”

“Why? What records?” Twilight Velvet spluttered, leaning heavily into the shoulder of her husband, whose face had gone pale.

“Twilight Sparkle is an amazingly potent Unicorn, whose magic and … gifts … will only grow with time, maturity and training. As such, he will become an important force within the politics of Canterlot, whether he wishes to be or not, especially now that he has so … dramatically revealed himself.” The Alicorn spoke softly to avoid waking the children, but with an intensity that kept the grieving parents quiet. “The repercussions of his magic surge are no-doubt already doing the rounds of the servants and teachers of the School for Gifted Unicorns, if not the Nobles and public media moguls, and I would expect they will hear of this young prodigy within the hour, if not sooner.Any hope for anonymity, for a normal, quiet life are lost the moment this disaster becomes publicly known.”

“In short, to protect Twilight Sparkle from those who would attempt to abuse his gifts for personal gain, he must disappear.” The Solar Monarch rose and gently gave the bundled children back to the parents, who looked down at them with agonized expressions. “We shall inform the Ponies tomorrow that Twilight Sparkle suffered a tragic accident and has been transferred to a sheltered location to recover and come to terms with her injuries. Another prospective student and distant kin of the poor child, Dusk Shine, has been chosen as my personal student in the meanwhile.”

“Can she … can he come home to visit?” Night Light whispered, fingers softly touching the hair of his child as if he was terrified the ‘new colt’ would shatter under his touch.

“That’s is the most important reason for this subterfuge, why I will arrange with the Royal Archivist to insert ‘Dusk Shine’ into your family tree.As his closest family-members within Canterlot, spending his free-time with you would only be natural, as will the displays of familiarity and love from your family towards this young Colt. Enough of a lie to protect you all, with enough truth to avoid attention from those seeking a lie.” Celestia explained, taking a step back to allow the parents to absorb her offer, and to grieve. “Perhaps, with time, Dusk Shine will be able to reverse his transformation and return to being Twilight Sparkle, and all of this shadow-play, this charade, can be discarded. But until then …”

“You want to keep our child with you as much as possible.” Night Light finished for her, looking up from the children to stare, hard, at Celestia. “I don’t like this. I will be upfront with you, Princess, and say I don’t like this one bit. This should never have happened, the Ponies overseeing the test should have had countermeasures installed, some sort of dampening field in-case of a surge. They’re supposed to be the best of the best! And now you want to take our child away from us!”

“Yes, they are. And believe me, both of you, I will be delivering the news of their dismissal from my services personally, and each of them will be barred from teaching magic for the rest of their natural lives as soon as I ensure you and your family are … handled. A poor choice of words, but apt. I cannot allow Twilight Sparkle to be left exposed for any faction or individual with a hunger for power to snatch up and mould her young mind into a willing tool of destruction, nor can I abandon running this nation to care for a single Pony, no matter how gifted. This is the best I can do for now, although it pains me to admit it, and gives you the opportunity to remain in Twilight’s life as much as possible, while still protecting both her and the rest of your family from potential threats.”

“If nothing else, I would have had to have taken Twilight under my wing, both figuratively and literally, once she hatched the Dragon’s Egg. That is … a singularly miraculous thing this young prodigy has accomplished, something I had feared would never be possible by mortals, and given that the young Dragon has apparently imprinted on Twilight … errr, Dusk Shine as her ‘mother’, it is safer for the city and all the Ponies within that the two remain by my side for at least a little while.”

“Dare I ask why, your majesty?” Night Light asked, holding his new ‘son’ tenderly as Twilight Velvet stroked the child’s hair.

“Young Dragons are much like young Ponies, in that their natural gifts tend to flare without warning.” The Princess explained, smiling fondly at the family. “And one of the perks of being the Princess of the Sun? I have Equestria’s only fire-proof Castle.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m a colt?” Twilight Sparkle, no, Dusk Shine mumbled, looking at his hands like he was expecting them to be different, then in the adorably blunt way of all young children, stood up and pulled the front of his pants away from his body to check, earning a throaty chuckle from his father and an exasperated groan from his mother. “Momma, Da, I’ve got a dangle! I’ve got a dangle!”

“That’s nice, sweetie, but please put it away, the Princess is right there!” Twilight Velvet said with considerable heat, sending her husband into a full-blown fit of laughter and causing her ‘new’ son to let go of his elastic waistband in a hurry, the colt jumping with a yelp as the band snapped back against his skin.

Princess Celestia, for her part, simply leaned back against the wall and laughed, covering her mouth with an elegant hand.

How long has it been since I saw anything so … so innocent? Night Light and Twilight Velvet are more focused on their child, as all parents should be, and Twili … Dusk Shine is a treasure. As is the new hatchling ...

Speaking of which, the Princess’s eyes wandered the room to where the newborn as currently wrapped up in both her and Dusk Shine’s blankets, gnawing happily on a opal, the soft gem easily crumbling under the Drake’s ‘baby teeth’. A lesson had been learned in the process by all parties: The young Dragon would only tolerate being separated from Dusk Shine’s side if offered a tasty, and expensive, gem as a bribe, and even then, if removed from Dusk for too long, or unable to see her ‘parent’, the Drake would immediately burst into tears and start to wail in a fashion that was both window- and heart-breakingly sad to witness.

That … is going to be another issue. Nobody ever thought that egg would be able to hatch, let alone having the Dragon inside fixate on a Pony not yet ten years old! We had always planned on a seasoned Magus or stalwart Guard-Captain, if anypony actually could best the curse on the egg, to oversee the young Dragon’s growth. It seems I will have to take a personal interest in both young Dusk Shine and this Drake.

It would take … time. A lot of time to explain to Dusk Shine exactly what had happened. And even longer, the Princess suspected, to make the young Pony understand that he would have to keep his true nature a secret. Hopefully, both Dusk Shine and the newborn Drake would be sufficiently protected with the efforts Celestia would expend on their behalf, but there was always the risk …

And in ten years, that will happen. Both Sunset and Dusk would have been distressingly young for the task, but I had hoped my next Apprentice would be able to bear the burden. Sadly, Sunset Shimmer is proving to be no better than the noble scions I’ve had to take on as my ‘personal student’ over the years to placate the Nobility … so it appears I must gamble that this innocent little colt can take on the mantle I had been grooming Sunset for instead.

It was not a comforting thought, although the Princess did feel a flicker of hope when she saw how tenderly the young Colt picked up the newborn Drake, and how Dusk had immediately called her his ‘sister’ without needing to be prompted or corrected by his parents. Not a pet, or a creature, a monster or a thing. A sister. Family, even though they were so very, very different.

Something that young Sunset Shimmer would never do, could never do.

And perhaps, for once, the odds are beginning to stack in my favour.

Chapter 2: Situation normal, but not nominal

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 3: We're not in Kansas anymore, Toto.

Chapter 3

“Wow.” The words left Dusk's lips before he could stop himself.

“Yeah, it’s … tiny.” Spine agreed in an equally shocked and small voice, staring at the distant village with something akin to concerned wonder, the drake's eyes trailing over the crude nature of Ponyville's train-station, little more than a glorified shed where the tickets were sold attached to a large cement platform with a corrugated tin roof from where the passengers could disembark.

“Scratch tiny, I think the Campus dorms are bigger than Ponyville.”

“There’s magi-net this far out, right? If I can’t at least check my messages, screw the Princess, I am going back to your tower.”

“If not, I’m fairly sure I can set something up. It’s not going to be the best, but at least we can receive messages.”

“Oh Tartarus no, Dusk. If I have to play Call of Guard-Duty on a rinky-dink dial-up magi-net, my ranking on the leader-boards is going to plummet, and I will set fire to somepony just on principal.”

“One, I am a fairly powerful Wizard, Spine, so I’m fairly certain I can brute-force a connection to Canterlot’s magi-net that will be almost as good as what we could get at the Campus, and two, let’s save the promises of homicide via incendiaries until after we speak to the Mayor and see what the library has to offer.”

“Fiiiiiine. At least nopony has wandered over and asked if I’m tame yet.”

“Well, with any luck, this far from Canterlot, the usual crowd of bigots won’t have gotten a foothold. We’re more likely to be dealing with ignorant Ponies here who just need to be educated, not wilfully prejudiced ones that need to be threatened with legal action just to make them act like a civilized being.”

As the mismatched pair walked from the train station after organizing with a local, a gigantic brute of a pegasus with albinism and tiny wings who, despite his appearance and inability to use an ‘inside’ voice, had agreed to take their luggage to the Ponyville Library for a pouch of bits, Spine complained the entire way about the dirt road getting dust all over her scales, all the while Dusk’s mind whirled with thoughts he dare not utter aloud for fear of blaspheme.

Firstly, screw the debt they owed her, Princess Celestia owed them for this. If Spine didn’t murder him in the streets for dragging her away from her beloved consoles and online gaming, then Dusk himself was likely to have a coronary from how primitive everything was. It had taken them close to a half-hour of walking down the dirt road to get to the town from the train-station, because apparently Ponyville didn’t even have bicycle rentals, let alone taxi-services, and while the admittedly picturesque landscape was pleasant to look at and walk through, the charm had long lost its lustre well before they even entered the ‘town’ itself and finally got to the streets, cobbled streets no less, and buildings that would have been considered ‘quaint’ about a century ago, and now just looked old and tired. Flames of Tartarus, the lamp-posts were still of the candle in a glass box variety. Not electric lights like what most Earth Pony towns used, and most certainly not magical given the state of the town, no, these were just plain ordinary candles.

This does not bode well …

The government office-building, at least, looked new … and cheap. In truth it was nothing more than a cement cube three stories tall, albeit one that had been painted in pastel colours in a futile if touching attempt to blend in with the ancient buildings around it, where a constant stream of Ponies trundled in through a pair of double-doors on one side and were spat out on the other side by an identical pair of double-doors.

“Wait, is it the tax-season?” Spine whispered as Dusk paused to look up and down the street, looking for some reason for the bizarre conga-line of Ponies moving through the ugliest, cheapest government building they’d ever seen. “Or is there a local election going on?”

“Faust knows. It could be anything, so stay by my side until we know what’s going on.” Dusk muttered back, reaching into the satchel he had taken onto the train as hand-luggage and removing a portable gaming system, handing it to a wide-eyed Spine, the Drake clutching the small flip-top device like it was the crown jewels of the Princess herself. “Use this to pass the time.”

“IS THIS A NEIGHTENDO 3DS? With the brand-new Solar/Lunar Ponymon game? Why didn’t you give this to me on that Faust-forsaken five-hour train-trip! We played Go Fish to pass the time! GO FISH!” Spine hissed, punching her ‘brother’ none too gently in the small of the back as the mismatched pair joined the back of the queue, ignoring the startled glances of the nearest ponies with practiced indifference.

“Because it only has a three-hour battery-life, forcibly recharging it with my magic could cause the battery to explode if I’m not careful or the whole thing to melt if we’re really unlucky, and Faust herself knows how long we’re going to be waiting to speak to Ponyville’s Mayor.” The purple Unicorn replied, rubbing at the small of his back and knowing that he’d have a wicked bruise tomorrow. Spine sometimes forgot her own strength, although on the bright side of things, it would give him another opportunity to practice his healing spells. “So let’s be on our best behaviour, Spine. We have no idea what’s waiting for us in there and we’re stuck here for at least half a year, so let’s not burn any bridges just yet.”

When only silence greeted him, Dusk glanced over to Spine, who had flipped the portable gaming device open and was rapidly engrossed in it, tongue protruding out the side of her mouth, tapping at the screens with the built-in stylus.

Well, it could be worse. At least this will distract her from the staring …

Of course, it did nothing to distract Dusk from the stares directed at him. Ponyville seemed to suffer from the same gender imbalance that was still gripping Equestria, and while most of the Ponies’ eyes seemed glued to his horn, more than a few were directed at his ass. Hungry stares.

Buck. Let’s just hope this ‘old fashioned country hospitality’ that the Princess was talking about is in play, otherwise I’m going to have to start lobbing some magic around to teach these hicks to keep their hands to themselves and their eyeballs above my belt.

Fifteen minutes passed before Dusk and Spine’s position in the line finally got close to the doors, by which point Spine had already begun complaining out loud about her feet hurting despite never once taking her eyes off the screen, and Dusk was feeling incredibly uncomfortable with the staring.

Ironically, Ponies would tense up when they saw Spine, then visibly relax when they saw the gaming device in her claws, but Dusk found himself the fixation of a half-dozen Mares who made no bones about where they were staring or what they found so appealing, and he had seen one Mare openly remove a wedding band from her finger and get up to speak to him before her husband had come out of a hardware store on the other side of the street a few seconds later. Flushing slightly, the Mare had linked arms with the Stallion and walked off, deftly slipping her wedding band back on with practiced ease while her oblivious husband chattered away about the new power-drill he’d just bought.

Good Goobering Faust, this is exactly like the Canterlot Campus! Dusk screamed mentally as they finally slipped into the building and were greeted by a bored-looking young Mare who seemed rather unimpressed by Dusk and Spine’s presence … until she did a double-take at Spine and began to rummage through her crowded desk, stammering apologies.

“U-uh, you, uh, would you be … Lord Dusk Shine and Lady Spine?” She spluttered, obviously flustered to the point Dusk feared the poor Mare was going to burst into tears.

“No, no, it’s just Dusk Shine, and this is Spine, my … assistant. We’re here to speak to the Mayor, if she is available?” Dusk coughed and gave the Mare his best ‘please don’t panic and blow up the room’ smile, based entirely up the same smile he’d seen the Princess give him … far too often, now that I think about it! “We’re supposed to see her sometime today about taking up the librarian’s position, amongst other things?”

Cue more stammering and frantic shuffling of her paperwork before the now-blushing Mare found the piece of paper with the details and, still apologizing profusely, led Dusk and Spine up a flight of stairs to a small hallway lined with doors of typical government make, plastic and cheap, although the door at the end of the hallway was made of dark, polished wood with a solid bronze door-knob, and a plaque of the same with ‘Mayor’ etched into the polished surface at eye-level on the wooden door.

Well well well, maybe this Mayor might be a bit more of a handful than I thought? Dusk thought to himself. The door was a fairly blatant difference from the rest of the cheap, pre-assembled building, with everything built to a plan, a budget, by the lowest bidder for Equestria’s less-important government offices. Was it was a personal touch, putting herself above the other employees here, or it was something the group had decided on a whole for their leader?

“… Okay, Dusk, just saying, kinda nervous about our chances here.” Spine muttered softly as she powered down the hand-held console and powered it down, slipping it back into Dusk’s satchel given her outfit was decidedly lacking in pockets. “You’re Princess Celestia’s personal student, you’d think ‘watch out for this stallion and this dragon, they’re coming today’ would be something that would warrant more than a memo…”

“And the whole purpose of this trip is to subtly prep Ponyville for the Summer Sun Celebration without bringing the wrath of our most wealthy and entitlement-riddled nobility down on these poor Ponies. Keeping this on the down-low might be part of the plan.” Dusk shot back, tapping on the door with the back of his hand, while his other gave Spine’s shoulder a comforting squeeze. “My apologies, Mayor Mare, but we are Dusk Shine and Spine el’Celest, from Canterlot. May we enter?”

“Wait … THAT’S TODAY?! OH Faust!” A Mare shouted on the other side of the door, followed swiftly by a cacophony of sounds that reminded Dusk and Spine of the time when, at a very young age, they’d come running into Celestia’s private quarters one day to show her the four-leafed clover they’d found in the gardens, and discovered a half-naked and very panicked Princess trying to shove three equally undressed Royal Guards under her writing-table with paperwork, jars of peanut butter and very unusual ‘paperweights’ scattering everywhere in the process.

“Ah mah Faaaaaust.” The young Drake grumbled, slapping a clawed hand over her face in disgust as Dusk vented a gusty sigh.

For close to two minutes the mismatched pair waited as the frantic banging and clattering on the other side of the door continued unabated, then suddenly stopped for the space of twenty seconds. The door opened soundlessly, a slightly-overweight mare of middling age with not a hair out of place and golden half-moon glassed stood in the doorway, smiling calmly at them.

Okay, so she’s got a hell of a poker-face at least. Dusk gave back what he hoped as a smile of equal calibre as the mayor stepped back and let them into the room … which was also immaculate, which seemed impossible given the volume of noise just recently head from the other side of the door. For an earth-pony, that’s all kinds of impressive. Must have stashed all the paperwork into the filing cabinets and locked the suckers shut.

“Greets, Lord Shine, Lady el’Celeste, I apologise for the delays, our … situation here is a bit hectic. Ponyville has recently had an outbreak of Mule-Flu, so we’re having to have the entire town immunized.” Still smiling calmly, the mare walked around to a small coffee-maker that sat precariously atop a filing cabinet and flicked it on, the low, soft drrrrmm of the grinder in the machine getting to work on those beans a welcome distraction to the awkward silence. “So you can understand that my staff are somewhat … underprepared for your visit. Most of our efforts are going to making sure everypony is getting their injections and then ensuring the public records are updating accordingly. It doesn’t help that some of our more … eccentric townsponies tend to believe that the injections cause certain medical conditions.”

“Oh Faust, not the ‘Derpitis’ idiocy again?” Dusk muttered, putting a hand to his chin and frowning in thought. “There’s been test after test, verified by some of the best doctors and scientists Equestria has ever seen that you’re more likely to get stuck by lightning bolts on a clear summer day than pick up Derpitis from Mule-Flu inoculations.”

“Yes, well, what one knows and what one believes can be two very separate things, sadly. Still, we’ve finally gotten most of the town dealt with, and those who are refusing have been informed that the government or their employers cannot be held responsible if they come down with the Mule-Flu. Still … you two …” Mayor Mare’s smile cracked a bit as the well-dressed mare seated herself behind her desk, and gestured for Dusk and Spine to do the same, her voice laced with panic. “I will be blunt with both of you: I had never imagined her Radiance would ever pick Ponyville for this year’s Summer Sun Festival, or any meaningful festival for that matter, and to be perfectly honest, as honoured as we are at the faith in our abilities, I doubt we’re going to able to pull off anything even close to what she is expecting …”

“I’ll stop you right there, miss Mayor. As Princess Celestia’s student, I can assure you that the Princess doesn’t want the formality or endlessly convoluted social conventions that the Summer Sun Festival has come to have associated with it. All Celestia wants is a festival where she can get away from Canterlot, mingle with her ponies and not have to deal with stifling protocol and tradition … or inbred and overly-entitled nobles who get their collective panties in a bunch over the slightest deviation from aforementioned protocol and tradition.” Dusk removed the hand from his chin and raised it into the air to help pause the Mayor’s stream of words. “Princess Celestia hates stuffy events, but puts up with the charade because it placates the Nobility and stops them from causing a fuss and taking too much time out of issues the government needs to focus on, which is probably why she has gone to such lengths to put this year’s event into your hands, and in secrecy no-less. A Summer Sun Festival where the Princess can walk around and mingle with the average citizen for a night without having to worry about causing a political pissing-match between the nation's movers and shakers will last for the rest of the year because she spent thirty seconds more chatting with one faction than the others. I’d bet my annual stipend that this whole situation is probably something she’s had planned out for decades at least.”

“I’m no stranger to the idiocy of politics, but … it’s that bad in Canterlot, really?” The Mayor whispered after a few moments of silence, her expression turning from mildly panicked to obviously depressed as Dusk and Spine both nodded. “Oh bother. I … uhm … may have tried to set up the festival to mimic what Canterlot holds every year. Well … we’ve got months to get things back on track, at least, and with her personal student and … oh, my apologies, young miss, but what exactly do you do?”

“I’m Dusk Shine’s assistant, and Princess Celestia’s ward.” Spine said proudly, grinning at the mayor who thankfully didn’t freak out at the array of sharp fangs on display towards her.

“Oh, that’s a relief, I was afraid I was going to have to assign a staff-member to be your assistant, and we’re short-handed enough as things stand. And your, ah, your reputation proceeds you, Lord Dusk. The only staff I felt I could assign you that wouldn’t be tempted to be … unprofessional, or not meet your high standards, are ones vital to keeping Ponyville running.”

“I was … more than a little unsettled to see the same kind of Mares in this town that I’ve just given up a great deal to get away from in Canterlot.” Dusk said, ignoring the startled look Spine gave him, his eyes fixed on the mayor, who winced and sagged even further in her chair. “Princess Celestia and I had hoped that this far from Canterlot’s morass of intrigue, I would also be able to get away from the sort of Ponies who would only see my gender. And the chance to put another notch on their belts.”

“Yes, well, once you establish yourself in town, I’m sure most of that … that type of mare will decide getting on the wrong side of Celestia’s prized pupil isn’t worth it. I wish I could say that we didn't suffer the same problems as Canterlot, but sadly the Sisterhood has a rather sizable foothold in our little town.” The Mayor sighed heavily and took the glasses off her face, rubbing at them with a tissue for a few moments before inspecting them closely and slipping them back on. A delaying tactic, Dusk thought to himself. She’s buying time to think.

“A question I want to ask, how’s the magi-net out here?” Spine asked, leaning forwards to lock eyes with the Mayor, who visibly flinched and looked away after a few seconds. “We’re talking thirty mana-bytes a second, right?”

The Mayor refused to meet either Spine’s desperate gaze, or acknowledge Dusk’s groan of annoyance.

“Twenty?”

The Mayor fidgeted. The coffee-machine pinged as it finished making a fresh pot of government-grade brew. Dusk tried some breathing exercises to try and keep his temper cooled.

“Fifteen? Please say at least fifteen …”

“We’re … we’re a very long way out from the magi-net hubs, Lady Spine el’Celeste. On a good day, we get around eight, maybe ten mana-bytes a second, but I do believe that, a few years from now, the magi-net is planned to expand to the outer regions of Equestria, and we should be able to reach the fifteen mana-bytes benchmark by then?” The Mayor said hesitantly, getting paler as she watched the young Dragon’s face get grimmer and tiny plumes of smoke leaking from between the drake’s sharp teeth as the Mayor delivered the unwelcome news. “I … ah … believe that one can get a more powerful connection to the magi-net privately, but that will cost a considerable amount of bits. Sadly, the Ponyville council is only given a small amounts of funds per annum from the Royal Treasury, plus whatever we can scrape together from fundraisers or donations from our citizens.”

“I had noticed the state of the roads and street-lamps. I think, after we get settled and I get our magi-net issues sorted, I’ll see what I can do to finagle some extra funds from the Princess for Ponyville. As charmingly rustic as the town is, if we’re really going to have the Summer Sun Festival here, we need to update your facilities to accommodate the population-boom for the festival itself. And unless I’m gravely mistaken, there’s been some gross misappropriation of funds going on since Ponyville looks like a replica of a town a hundred years from the past.” Dusk pointed out, leaning back in his chair and looking up at the ceiling in thought. “Humm … would it be too forward of me to get a list of what we have in place already? How big are our public toilets, how many Ponies are trained in first-aid and crowd-control, how large is the local hospital and how many staff can they have on standby at any given moment, how many restaurants are open and how many Ponies could they comfortably serve with in an hour, things like that?”

“I could probably get you a comprehensive list by the end of … day after next.” Mayor Mare said eagerly, a grin spreading across her face as the older Mare got up and poured three cups of coffee, “Milk? Sugar? I’ve got a little bit of cream … you have no idea how grateful I am to hear somepony else mention how under-funded we are out here. Our school, our hospital, our town … we’re so stretched for bits, Lord Dusk, that I’m surprised I can pay the council-workers some weeks.”

“Cream and ten teaspoons of sugar!” Spine demanded, still frowning. “And yeah, Dusk, kick some ass for these Ponies, will you? Nobody deserves a magi-net of a mere 8 MBS!”

“She gets four teaspoons of sugar and at least half a cup of milk with her coffee, or Spine will be clinging to the ceiling with her toe-claws and screaming like a banshee before five minutes are up. Don’t give me that look, Spine, you know your brain-chemistry goes seven different kinds of crazy when you have that much caffeine. Ah … I’ll have mine straight-black please.” Dusk countermanded, giving his ‘assistant’ a stern look that just resulted in a raspberry blown in his direction. “That’s fine, two days will give us plenty of time to see to the library, send a letter or three to Princess Celestia about your funding issues and take a look around town on our own, get a feel for the place before we get an official tour and give you and your ponies a chance to deal with your current crisis in peace.”

“That will work out fantastically for us! Oh thank you, Lord Dusk, Lady Spine!” The Mayor’s voice brightened as she delivered the coffee to her two guests and seated herself on the other side of the table. “That said, before you leave, would you mind if I pitched a few ideas at you for the Summer Sun Festival, just some ideas to bounce off you while you’re here? What you think might work, we can polish over the next few days and give you a rough plan you can fine-tune once you’ve settled in?”

"I think it's a good start, ma'am. We've got half a year to get things right, and I'd rather get the ball rolling now, before we hit any more problems." Dusk took the cup of coffee and, for politeness's sake, took a sip, the warmth of the coffee and the astringent bitterness of the cheap coffee bringing back fond memories of visiting his father at the Starswirl Observatory, and the rare few times Dusk didn't have to keep up the charade of being the Sparkle family's nephew, rather than their child. "I think the first thing we're going to need to focus on is how to get the citizens from your train-station to town effectively. As lovely as the scenery is ... we get a few thousand ponies tramping their way to town, there's going to be a lot of things sore than just their feet."

Chapter 4: Of Princesses and Perils

Author's Note

God, it feels so nice to hit up a new story and just let my brain ramble down whatever path it wants. So many words, so little time. And now, I must go run headfirst into a wall until I fall asleep, because it is 1am and I have a shift starting in four hours.

Peace!

Chapter 4: Of Princesses and Perils

Chapter 4.

“Your Majesty, you know I would never question your orders …”

“Oh please, Shining, we have known each other ever since your brother came into my care all those years ago. Spit it out, my friend, there’s no need to stand on rank when we’re the only two beings in the room.”

“But we’re not … oh, very well. Was it really a wise idea to send Dusk and Spine alone, unescorted and unguarded, to Ponyville? Putting aside the fact you just sent the youngest A-Class Wizard in history out to a town that borders the Everfree Forest, a place where a ley-line runs so close to the surface the town has had to install scores of anti-magic towers just so that ponies can use modern technology in the area without everything built around an arcane battery exploding from being oversaturated with mana, we’re both aware that Spine and Dusk have a relationship, an intensely physical one at that, and we just removed them from your immediate presence, possibly the only factor that prevents Spine from giving in to her hoarding instincts on a particularly bad day and pulverizing my little brother from the navel down.” Shining asked, pouting in a way that would have, if Cadence had been in a position to see his face, likely resulted in Celestia watching the poor, strapping young Stallion being ravished on the spot by his would-be beau, regardless of his consent. “I’m not sure I’m prepared to face a scenario where I have to inform my parents that their darling daughter-turned-son has been humped into a paraplegic state by an oversexed Dragon. Or worse yet, discover pictures of Dusk and Spine in the middle of a ‘biology lesson’ splashed across the front-page of the gossip-rags.”

“I trust that Spine can hold herself in check, especially if Dusk keeps ‘helping’ Spine keep her stress-levels down. And I would argue that a love-struck Dragon eager to keep Dusk’s … second horn all to herself will prove quite sufficient as a body-guard for your little brother, Shining Armor. Anyone foolish enough to try to actively hurt Dusk is going to have to deal with one of my best wizards and his devoted draconic companion, and that’s a combination even you might have a problem with.” Princess Celestia smiled warmly at the captain, idly wondering if she might be able to get the adorably straight-laced Stallion up to her office for some vigorous ‘paperwork’ before her smile turned into a smirk when she caught a familiar flash of pink from the corner of her eye.

Celestia only just resisted the urge to laugh out loud at the familiar neon-pink face, half-hidden behind a carved marble pillar, glaring daggers at her. Shining Armor’s most potent stalker to-date having managed to slip past the Royal Guards that protected the entrance to Celestia’s private rooms … and somehow, Shining Armor had known the other Alicorn was there before Celestia had. “I suspect you may have stalking issues of your own to deal with sooner rather than later, dear Shining.”

“… Oh dear sweet Faust, I was hoping I was wrong.” Shining whispered, his face going taunt but his body remaining in the parade stance. Honestly, he is the perfect Stallion … or he would be if he somehow sprouted wings and a foot-long erection right now. Damn Cadence’s infatuation, I’d take him in a heartbeat if that happened, flee the country and see if a male alicorn can finally provide me with children that won’t wither and die in my arms after less than a century!

“Perhaps you’d prefer to avoid an unpleasant meeting, and come up to my office and help me with … the royal paperwork, Shining? I have a rather troublesome problem that could use your particular skills.” Long millennia of practice and politics allowed Celestia to keep her voice calm and level in the face of the stare-o-death from Cadence that was actively attempting to burn a hole into the middle of Celestia’s noggin and the raging blush that had burst into existence on Shining Armor’s face … and a growing tent in his pants. Half of her wanted to go over and give her ‘niece’ a firm kick to the backside for her antics. The other half wanted to laugh at the expression of mingled excitement, horror and nervousness that was currently controlling Shining Armor’s face.

The offer to ‘help with the royal paperwork’ had long been a time-honoured code-phrase for high-ranked Guards assisting Celestia with soothing certain biological imperatives. A tradition that Celestia had certainly done little to suppress within the upper-ranks of the Royal Guard, mostly out of self-interest, but she did insist that only the top officers know about it. She had no intention of her ‘indiscretions’ joining the barracks-room gossip-circle legends.

There was a secret, additional reason her Royal Guards were chosen for both physical condition and mental prowess that had nothing to do with their skills on the battlefield. More than a few ‘princes’ and ‘princesses’ in history had their genesis in the efforts of a particularly vigorous or charismatic Royal Guard, or at least one member out of a group of them, and damn what the history books and desperate Nobles struggling for relevance claimed.

Being the Goddess of the Sun had its downsides when one’s race had a tendency to slip into an annual breeding frenzy during the spring months due to increased exposure to sunlight triggering certain primal instincts to release hormones that made Mares ‘frisky’ and Stallions ready to ‘perform’ at a moment’s notice. For Celestia, it was like being in a year-round, nearly-constant state of arousal due to the power of the Sun suffusing every fibre of her being, a condition she had long learned to live with to a point she could live in normal society without knocking down the nearest stud and riding him till she was satisfied or his balls imploded, but still the temporary relief a talented lover, or even just a very backed up one, could provide was a welcome reprieve to her constant ‘distraction’.

Many had wondered why Celestia insisted on walking everywhere when she had two massive, glorious wings to carry her aloft. The more romantic believed it was because walking on the ground like a mere mortal made her more approachable to all Ponykind, but in truth it had more to do with a drawer full of life-like, very large, socially-damming-if-anypony-ever-found-out devices Celestia had commissioned made through a very discreet collection of Drakes who, despite the misleading name, were very good dragons, or at least, very good at the art of creating marvellously exotic sex-toys that were guaranteed to remain firmly lodged in her royal treasure vault as she walked around the castle.

And the streets. And the shopping malls. And sometimes along the battlements. Sometimes Celestia would even join in long-distance running events, a delighted smile on her face as she huffed and puffed and pounded the pavement along with the rest of the herd. At least she could explain her flushed expression and heavy sweating as the result of attempting to combat the side-effects of her infamous sweet-tooth if pressed about it by particularly determined individuals.

Biologists had long theorized that the ‘spring madness’ had originated with the Ponykind’s primitive ancestors being influenced to reproduce immediately after the winter had passed, when larger amounts of sunlight would indicate that winter was in retreat and fodder would soon become plentiful enough to support the addition of a new generation to the herds.

Celestia simply put it down to Mother Nature wanting to see something white other than the snow of winter on the backs of all her creatures after a long cold season.

Mother Nature, that delightful hippy, was still a scandalous deviant given less than half a chance, and whenever Faust, Mother Nature and Celestia would get together, normally every few decades, to have a cup of tea and have a natter about children, politics, the state of the world and that sort of thing, the get-together couldn’t officially be considered ‘over’ until Mother Nature and Celestia were smack-dab in the middle of a raging orgy with whatever poor mortal souls happened to be within a fifty mile radius, while Faust would be yelling at them to stop traumatizing her creations while hiding her view of the proceedings behind the flimsy shield of her fingers. Or throwing lightning bolts at them all. Sometimes both at once.

“I am, ah, honoured beyond words, Princess Celestia, but I’m … concerned about what may happen to me afterwards.”

At this stage, a faint, hissed "Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!” could be heard drifting through the room, along with the faint cracking noise of the marble pillar as Cadence’s fingers dug into the hardened stone like it was the shell of a pavlova.

“I assure you, Shining, I am well-versed in handling … nuisances. I generally assign them to distant forts in the frozen north, or diplomatic posts in the middle of Gryphon or Minotaur territory.” Celestia’s face twitched into a smirk for a moment. “Or nunneries.”

“Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch!”

“While that might solve the immediate issue, Prin-“

“Shining, please, call me Celestia when it is just the two of us, I insist!”

“Errr, but you can see her … oh. OH. Well, Celestia, while that might solve the immediate issue, it won’t do anything to solve the long-term one, namely that I am slated to become the Royal Protector of Princess Cadence, seemingly before the official judging takes place.”

Celestia raised an eyebrow at Shining and made a ‘go on’ motion with a hand, while mentally calculating the cost of a replacement marble pillar, and a weight-supporting one at that, as Cadence’s fingers clawed through another few inches of magically-reinforced stone in frustration.

“Well, you’re well aware that Cadence is intensely possessive of her …’subjects’. I suspect she may take it poorly if her Royal Protector is … putting paper-work into your filing cabinets. And she will likely take it out on my hide, and other things, once we are on our round-country tour as Princess and Royal Protector and away from what little influence you can still exert over her.”

Celestia’s muffled snort of laughter almost, almost drowned out the angry hiss from the not-really-hiding-anymore Alicorn behind the mangled marble pillar.

“Then perhaps Princess Cadence should be made aware that the Royal Protector’s position can and will be awarded to another Pony if I say so? Especially if I were to take the young Mare’s antics over the past few months as a sign she is incapable of the emotional maturity and control somebody with her status needs to keep in mind when they are forced to travel alone with just a single Stallion?” Celestia’s eyes twinkled with mirth as she offered the beleaguered Stallion the verbal equivalent of a handhold as he clung to the edge of the abyss, his boss, supreme overlord and goddess of the sun on one side, offering casual, no-strings, literally-divine sex while on the other side the insane demi-god of love, stalking and yanderes threatening unspeakable suffering to his everything if Shining accepted Celestia’s offer, and only the thin razor’s edge of his duty to protect him and his career … and probably his stallionhood, if Celestia was being truthful. “It is fully within my power, and completely reasonable given the state of the world right now, to assign her a full platoon of Royal Guards, seasoned veterans twice her age, should I be given reason to doubt that my poor niece cannot be trusted to act with the subtlety and dignity of an Alicorn Princess.”

“Speaking of which, putting aside the paperwork issue, I have long been seeking a new Captain for my Royal Guard, Shining. You are on the short-list, so do not fret if I do decide to put the brakes on the Royal Protector ‘promotion’ that certain Ponies seem hell-bent on giving to you.”

Shining Armor’s face went slack with shock, before Celestia noticed a curious thing: The Royal Guard stood up straighter, if that was even possible, his face hardening into the stoic mask all her soldiers were trained to produce when their emotions were in flux and he adopted a parade stance, all in a manner of seconds.

“Princess Celestia, I am a soldier, and I pride myself on getting to where not through my family’s connections, but by my own hard work, diligence … and integrity. I could never accept a position granted for favours.”

Celestia blinked, confused for a moment before she caught on and leaned forwards across her table, giving the young, angry Stallion an appraising look before speaking.

“I assure you, Shining, I do not hand out positions of authority and influence based on … hormonal impulses, unlike some Ponies who will be paying for a new pillar out of their allowance. Your integrity is the primary reason you are on that short list for Captain of my Royal Guard, and your strong sense of duty, integrity and natural talent as a Royal Guard only increase your odds of being selected. Do not ever assume I would risk the safety of this nation by putting somepony in a position where they could do great damage simply because they happen to possess a talent for … paperwork.” The Solar Princess said warmly, smiling at the stern-faced Guard as he slowly melted from his angry position into one of meek apology.

“Celestia, I did not … I’m sorry, I just assumed that …”

“Because Cadence has allowed her desire to make you her lover to run wild, to the point of using her influence to drive potential romantic rivals out of the castle, and because I am rumoured to be something of a Stallion-eater when it comes to young, virile Ponies amongst my Royal Guards, you fear that if I ‘give’ you the position, your fellow guards will assume you simply slept your way to the top?” Celestia spoke the words calmly, though her face was slightly twisted from the knowing smirk that grew as Shining grew ever more flustered. “I am not offended, Shining, indeed I could not be prouder that such a honest young Stallion chose to serve this nation under my care, and that you would risk your own position to call me out on a perceived injustice only elevates my opinion of your worth to be my Captain of the Royal Guard.”

“Aunnnnnttttttttyyyyyyyyy!”

“Oh, go take a cold shower, Cadence.” Celestia stood up and glared over Shining’s head, to where the pink-coated ‘Alicorn of Love’ was still pretending to hide behind the shredded remains of the pillar. “And don’t think for an instant those were empty words, o’ niece of mine. Bad enough that you’ve sent some of my best maids and courtiers fleeing for their lives after they tried to flirt with Shining Armor, but if I find even a hint that you’ve used your powers to warp the minds of the judges or forced the other Royal Guards competing for the position to drop out, I will personally fly your narrow backside into the middle of the Frozen North and bar you from Canterlot until you start acting with the dignity of an Alicorn. And given you are an Alicorn, that posting could easily last centuries if I become so inclined.”

The pink-coated Alicorn dashed out from behind her shredded hiding place, mouth opening and closing with unspoken words before, with tears in her eyes, the ‘Princess of Love’ half-ran, half-flew out of Celestia’s chambers, sobbing loudly and slamming the doors open hard enough to catapult the unfortunate Royal Guards on the other side away from their posts.

“MY EEEEEEEYES!”

“My leg! My leg …”

“Well, didn’t that just go swimmingly.” Shining muttered, probably intended only for himself, as Celestia shot him a dirty look before seating herself again. “I think I will have to beg off helping you with your … filing system, Celestia, I have to go and help some of my comrades to the Royal Physicians and the inform your current Captain of the Royal Guard he needs to assign some new meat-shields to your private quarters.”

“Yes yes, the moment has passed, sadly. Still, at least my niece may leave you alone for a few days now, although I would sleep with one eye open, just in case.”

“I can maintain shield-spells in my sleep, your Highness, and I’ve long since practiced booby-trapping my private quarters. If Cadence attempts to sneak into my bedroom, with either a bag of viagra or a shaving razor, I’ll be fore-warned and prepared to bolt before she can get past the front door … or the window-sill.”

“Hmmm, admirable. Perhaps I should induce Cadence to stalk all my up-and-coming Captains of the Royal Guard so they can be as prepared as you, Shining.”

“Do that, your majesty, and you will have a revolt on your hands.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Well. Crazy damn town. Never heard of a place that actually practices lignum magicae in this day and age, although a town as rustic as Ponyville would certainly be a place where such ancient rituals might have lived on.” Dusk sighed, staring around the inside of the library with new respect. A simple magic-detection spell was all he needed to see the faint, elegant wards that shaped the internal structure of the tree into an actual house, while preserving the living wood from harm caused by exposure to air where normally the core of the plant would exist.

Whoever did this was a true master. The wards even encourage the tree to continue growing wider and taller on the outside, and prevent the plant from regrowing its lost interior or suffering any stress from the changes that have been made to it. Green Thumb the Royal Gardener would give his left arm to study these wards, let alone copy them.

“OH. MY. FAUST.” Spine ruined the moment by stomping down the stairs, smoke steaming out of her nostrils before throwing herself onto a reading couch hard enough to make the furniture creak in complaint. “We’re certainly never going to run out of hot water thanks to an enchantments you put on the shower-head, but we’re going to have to rely on candles for light when it gets dark. Candles. Open flames. Inside a Faust-damned tree. Has nobody in this two-bit town ever played minecraft?”

“Spine, it’s fine, I can conjure us up some magical lights in a pinch and we can place them where-ever we want. I was talking with Mayor Mare …”

“Please, please, tell me that’s not her real name.”

“Unfortunately for you, it is. Apparently her mother was obsessed with the idea that her little filly was going to run the whole town someday …”

“Aaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuugh. That is so lame. And terrifying on so many levels.”

“Well, carrying on, Mayor Mare says that Ponyville was founded after some farmers started an apple farm at the boundary of the Everfree Forest, not realizing most of their fields were right ontop of a minor leyline that comes within a hundred meters of the surface. The resulting apples were so magically augmented they actually mutated into an entirely new species, the Zap-Apple, which proved to be such a hit that more settlers came to this area simply to help with the harvests and sell the apples, and stuff that could be made from those apples, to the rest of Equestria.” Dusk continued, heroically ignoring Spine’s overenthusiastic complaining. “So Ponyville is literally saturated with magic to the point the town has had to sink towers designed to absorb and contain the overflowing magical energy along the town-limits to prevent the town’s electronics from burning out immediately from all the free-floating mana in the air. Meaning that some simple spell like permanent lights won’t be an issue, and all I’ll need to requisition from Canterlot will be some condensers to gather and refine the magic into actual mana and a connector-booster cradle to wirelessly connect us to the magi-net, and we’ll have you back up to 30 mana-bytes a second in no-time. You’ll be off the leaderboards for a few days, maybe less if the Princess can lean on a few mailmares for us.”

“You’re going to ask Princess Celestia, the supreme Overlord of Ponykind … to use her influence to get us faster magi-net access?”

“We’re doing her a personal favour by putting down stakes in this town for over six months of our non-immortal lives. I figure making sure you don’t strangle me in my sleep because the frustration of not being able to destroy spawn-camping noobs in your FPS games drives you round the bend ties in to that fairly solidly.” The purple Unicorn replied to the bemused young Drake. “I am also passing up on half a dozen seminars and meetings with some of the finest academic minds in Equestria just to make certain this Summer Sun Festival gets done in a way that allows Princess Celestia to actually Faust-damn mingle with her ponies, not just those inbred Nobles.”

“…Fair point. Just keep the Neightendo charged up until then, and nobody gets hurt.”

“And technically, the wards that shape and nurture the tree also protect it against most forms of fire. So unless you start breathing fire directly onto the tree for extended periods of time, burning down our temporary home-away-from-home will be a non-issue.”

“Oh, that’s a relief, because I do tend to let out a bit of flame when we … you know.”

“Aaaaaand that’s why I wear a ring filled with fire-resistant magic at all times.” Dusk chortled as Spine flushed and flipped him the bird. “Having you accidentally set my head on fire while you were lost in your own orgasm was an experience I’m not keen to repeat. Thankfully, most ponies bought the story that I’d had an accident in the lab and my hair had caught the worst of it.”

“Keep it up, buster, and I’ll set something else on fire.” The Drake retorted before stretching-out on the reading couch and sighing contentedly. “But I gotta admit … not one ‘predator’ comment, not one Pony got up in my face about not being one of them. Celestia might be right, maybe Ponyville is gonna be a good thing for us.”

“Considering this place exists at the border of the Everfree Forest, I’m not surprised they don’t really focus on stuff like you being a carnivore. Between multiple Timberwolf packs, the largest known Parasprite hive on the planet and, according to what the Mare that served us in the candy-store said, a Zebra witch all within a half-day’s walk from the center of town, I’m more surprised there’s no Royal Guard outpost here.” Dusk pointed out, walking around the room one more time to appreciate the subtle wards that shaped the living tree around them, before seating himself on the ground next to couch Spine was abusing, tracing a finger-tip across the young Dragon’s cheek, who smiled and leaned into the contact. “We’ve had a big day running around Ponyville and seeing what we’ve got to work with tomorrow, but first thing in the morning I need to go see this school-teacher, her name is Cherry-something, and see what I can do to help out there, and dig up any information I can get on where Ponyville’s fair share of tax-bits are going to. What … were you planning on doing?”

“Honestly? I kinda don’t know …” Spine sighed and pulled Dusk’s hand away from her face, clutching it between both of her own claws. “Just wander around town, maybe go see this zap-apple farm … see what passes for fun in a town like Ponyville?”

“There’s worse ways to spend a day.” The Unicorn agreed, smiling at his ‘assistant’ before blushing as he realized that Spine had begun to pull his trapped hand to her breasts. “Uh … Spine?”

“Tell me, Dusk …” The Drake’s eyes twinkled mischievously as she pushed Dusk’s entrapped hand in-between her breasts … her growing breasts, along with the rest of her, the change slowly taking her from a younger drake’s form to that of a fully grown, extremely well-endowed dragoness. “Did you pack the towels?”

“I need an adult.” Dusk whimpered.

“You are an adult.” Spine reminded Dusk firmly as she dragged the rest of the stallion onto the couch with her.

Chapter 5: Different Folks, Different Strokes

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Chapter 6: Dusk, meet the Twins.

Chapter 6:

Shining Armor shivered with a premonition of doom and quickly layered several more barrier spells against the thick, nearly opaque one he’d put up upon first entering the room, making the room all but impregnable to any mortal force as the current Captain of the Royal Guard poured them both another glass of brandy, a beer-glass’s worth at that, while the sounds of battle echoed on the other side of the armoured door and Shining’s own barrier spells. Taken altogether, the mundane defences, the pre-existing wards and Shining’s barrier spells made a barricade that was strong enough to stop a full-grown dragon mid-charge.

It would only be a matter of time, however, before those defences fell. The Royal Guards were losing, again, and without any real hope of holding their ground against the invader, but they were buying valuable time for the two ponies in this room to discuss their next steps. Shining only hoped their sacrifices would not be in vain.

“Captain Sunbeam, are you absolutely sure about this? Princess Celestia only recently mentioned I was one of several ponies on the ‘short list’ for the job, and you’re hardly at the age for retirement …” The young stallion’s words died off as the middle-aged earth-pony before him shook his head, a sad smile playing across Sunbeam’s broad, scarred face.

“Forgive my bluntness, but I’m tired, Shining. Tired of keeping a population of idiots and fools safe from bandits, cultists, the agents of enemy nations and worse, all the while getting called a fascist for it by the very ponies I protect. I am worn to the bone by the stress of being the leader of five hundred of the army’s most talented and skilled soldiers that are kept cooped up in a castle to protect two immortal, almost all-powerful beings from anyone or thing dumb enough to attempt to attack them …” Sunbeam’s smile faded slightly as the screams on the other side of the door became higher-pitched, tinged with desperation and horror. “And quite frankly, I’m tired of the pointlessness of it all. The Princesses are immortal, nigh-invulnerable beings who wield cosmic power on a scale even the greatest sorcerers and magi of our age can barely comprehend, let alone reproduce, and for all the good the Royal Guard does in and around Canterlot, we’re basically a harem with a fetish-y dress-code and a strict work-out regime, here to take the edge off Celestia’s insatiable sex-drive when all the pomp and ceremony gets stripped away.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I love my job, I love defending our country and I certainly have few regrets about the … paperwork … but I’m pushing into my mid-thirties, Shining. I do not want to still be here twenty years from now as an old, embittered war-horse, weighed down by all the medals on my chest, with no family waiting for me when I go home, having to watch as hungry young officers circle me and bicker over who’ll get my position after I kick the bucket or listening to my immortal lover entertain herself with half a dozen younger stallions because I’m too old to give her a royal rear-end a proper rogering.” Sunbeam continued, taking a swig of his whiskey like it was a beer, and Shining winced and took a cautious sip of his own glass, the burn of the alcohol sliding down his throat a distraction from the words spilling out of his commanding officer’s mouth … and the awful truths that Shining himself had contemplated over many sleepless nights. “I’ve found myself two lovely mares who want a steady, solid stallion in their lives, and they already have a few children from previous spring-partners who are quite fond of me already, and the entire family is more than happy to take me into their lives as a father, and a husband. I’ve already started the process of stepping down officially as the Captain of the Royal Guard, which will take at least a year if not longer, and since I am being honest with you, both Celestia and I consider you to be our best possible pick for my replacement.”

“I’m … honoured, Captain, but I’m not entirely certain I am the right pick. There’s others who have seniority, who have a breadth of experience that I lack. Won’t my getting cherry-picked for the job cause issues?”

“Make no mistake, before I take my leave I will be ensuring those most likely to cause trouble over your elevation will find themselves reassigned to posts befitting their … station … long before your step into my shoes, and believe me the sort of officers who’d hold a grudge because of your new position will have earned their punishment. I do not tolerate anything but the best in my officer-corps, and if they feel the need to cause trouble because they got passed over, then perhaps the fools should have worked harder to be worthy of advancing up the ranks rather than expecting it to come to them by dint of family connections or ‘tenure’.”

“And as for experience, you’ll have my staff to assist you in the regard, and they will beat you into shape sooner rather than later.” The older stallion’s smile turned warmer once more even as the door behind them bounced in its frame, shuddering against the impact of heavy blows, the outer-most layers of Shining Armor’s shield barriers beginning to splinter under the assault. “It is your integrity and moral compass, not your experience in a command position that is needed for the role. Shining, you know that the army must always be held to a higher standard of ethics than any other force in Equestria, and the Royal Guard above all other units must remain a beacon of honour, respectability and decency, for we are the hand of Princess Celestia herself, for good or ill. The other candidates may fit from a military or political view-point, but you offer all that and more. Please, accept the position when it is offered to you, it would make me feel so much relief to know I am passing the mantle onto a worthy successor.”

The door trembled and rocked in its frame, the individual planks of wood shuddering against one another and the outer-most barrier spells, layered nearly a foot thick, disintegrated with a musical tinkle, while the remainder of Shining’s barrier spells shuddering and developing dozens of tiny spider web-like fractures that expanded with each blow to the door. They were running out of time …

“I … am still overwhelmed by all of this, sir, but if both you and Princess Celestia believe I have what it takes, I am prepared to accept … on the condition I am allowed to spend the next year shoulder-deep with your staff.” Shining hoped what he was saying, and the sweat that beaded his brow as the sounds of the chaos on the other side of the door intensified and the door-frame began to detach from the wall weren’t taken the wrong way by Sunbeam.

“Wanting to make the transition a smooth one for everyone involved?” Sunbeam’s face cracked into a broad grin, the veteran honestly pleased. “I was going to suggest that, actually. If I take you on as a new member of my staff, it will seem far more natural to the rank and file when you assume command when I retire, and I’ve little doubt you’ll be a welcome addition to the team at the very least.”

“That, and I want to be completely, one hundred percent sure that I am the stallion for this job. There will be no point if I fall apart under the pressure a few months into things.” Shining Armor pointed out, extending a hand towards his superior. “Equestria would be in a very dark place if I end up cowering under my desk from the stress right when the Princesses and the People need the Royal Guard to be at their best.”

“Well said … Captain.” Sunbeam remarked, taking and shaking Shining’s hand firmly, before both stallions were knocked flying by the door, which had finally given way under the rain of blows from the other side and crashed through Shining’s spells with a sound somewhere between a banshee’s scream and a truckload of glass being sucked through a jet-engine, the mangled, iron-bound door spinning through the air to slam into the thick oak table the two stallions had been sitting at, and a few heartbeats later, in charged Princess Cadence, lathered in sweat and foam with her mane, clothing and wings in a terrible state of disarray … and a good two-score Royal Guards lying on the floor behind her, slumped over furniture or, in the case of Private third class Flash Sentry, somehow embedded in a solid marble wall until only his bared ass and legs were visible. His tail was merely a small cluster of orange hairs clinging to a short, stumpy tail, and even that hung limply in defeat …

Cadence’s eyes locked onto Shining, her gaze lovingly trailing over his legs, his body, his arms … and the hand that was still locked in a firm handshake with Captain Sunbeam.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Cadence screamed in despair, loud enough to make the windows rattle in their frames and roll the poor unfortunate guards closest to her a few paces away.

“Check and … and mate.” Shining grunted, still stunned but coherent enough to slap the smallest, densest barrier-spell he could manage around himself and Captain Sunbeam as Cadence charged at them, plastering herself, her very excited self as Shining discovered to his dismay, across the surface of the barrier-spell while the ear-piercing sounds of automated alarms blared belated in the distance.

Now if only he could stay conscious long enough to keep the barrier up until Princess Celestia came to rescue them … and Shining began to laugh hysterically as he realized just how right Captain Sunbeam was about the veteran’s reasons for stepping down from the most prestigious position in the Equestrian Army.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dusk considered himself many things: Mage, scholar, scientist, the prized student of a literal divinity and a general all-round good pony.

But apparently he was also the kind of dimwit who’d forget that he’d given Spine all of their money this morning so she could have a ‘day on the town’, such as Ponyville could offer at least, and then be stuck try to find her as the day rolled on and the hole in his belly grew larger and more demanding.

Certainly, a tracking spell would suffice, but that felt an awful lot like spying on Spine, and he was trying to get a feel for the town and its’ inhabitants without constantly falling back on his magic … and the way the local police officer … a single officer for the entire town … had read Dusk the riot act about using magic had convinced Dusk that maybe relying too much upon his magic in a mostly earth-pony town was a recipe for disaster.

And despite arguing that teleportation and flying via magic were not recognized by Equestrian law as crimes, Dusk had found himself nearly handcuffed anyways by the irate, flustered police officer who seemed very keen on taking Dusk Shine to a cell that she had repeatedly described as ‘cosy’ and ‘private’ before Mayor Mare, on her way back to the local government offices after her lunch break, had interceded and all but dragged the blubbering Officer Rulebook away, promising Dusk the ‘mistake’ would not be repeated.

Aaaaaaand terrific. It looks like the earth ponies here are as bigoted towards unicorns who use their magic as the unicorns of Canterlot are towards earth ponies who can’t use magic. Or she was going to chain me to the wall and make me her ‘prisoner of love’. Sweet Faust as my witness, the first thing I am going to do after figuring out how I changed my gender all those years ago is turn every idiot who has come after my dick into a stallion and see how they like being sexually harassed every five minutes by random, cock-starved strangers!

After nearly two hours of searching Ponyville and dodging the increasingly irritated packs of mares who refused to take ‘No!’ for an answer, and then getting racially profiled and shouted at by Officer Rulebook when he kept poking holes in her plans to incarcerate him for acts of ‘magical displays’, Dusk was nearly ready to throw his resolve to the wind and just throw a sending spell to Spine and ask her to meet up with him so he could buy some Faust-damned breakfast, his stomach growling loudly at him to just hurry up and get on with it, when an orange hand clapped him on the shoulder.

“Well hey there! Ya must be the newcomer from Canterlot!” A mare’s voice boomed in his ear, and Dusk cringed, readying himself for another round of “I am not the raincloud that is going to end your dry-spell.” arguments, as the grip, impressively strong, pulled him around to face the speaker.

Standing before a rickety-looking cart loaded with dozens of crates and barrels was an orange-coated mare with a thick band of darker orange freckles across her face and a much more scattered collection coming down her neck and shoulders, with smiling green eyes, a thick, braided mane of straw-blonde hair and a stetson hat perched ontop of that, with the mare’s long braid brought over her shoulder to hang down her front, the braid long enough that it hung down to her belt … and Dusk found himself struggling to keep his eyes at an appropriate level, considering the mare wore a pair of ripped jeans that looked like they’d seen better days about a decade ago, and barely held the mare’s muscular legs and ass in-check, and the rest of her wasn’t that far behind in the physical fitness department. He could even tell where the freckles kept on going below her belly-button, thanks to the fact that the mare only wore a loose off-white sleeveless shirt that looked to be about five sizes too small and a thread-bare plaid shirt whose bottom corners were tied around her middle due to a number of missing buttons preventing it being closed up any other way.

If there wasn’t a pair of breasts the size of my head trying to burst out of that old shirt she’s squeezed into, I would be wondering if I was just talking to a cute gym-junkie stallion! Not that that ass leaves a scrap of space in those jeans to hide any junk … EYES UP, DUSK, EYES UP! CODE RED!

“Aaaaaah … yes, I’m Dusk Shine, it is a ple … it is good to meet you.” Dusk stammered awkwardly, cursing himself for being so easily distracted after all the shit he had to deal with this morning, and found his hand grasped and pumped so hard in a hand-shake that the unicorn wondered if the mare had dislocated his shoulder.

“Ain’t no need to be formal, Dusk, ‘specially not in Ponyville. The name’s Applejack, an’ word ‘round town is you’re here to help Cherilee with the school? You a teacher of some sort?” The muscular pin-up of a mare asked, finally releasing Dusk’s hand with a broad, friendly grin on her face.

“Something like that. There’d been reports that the Ponyville school was under-funded and the students were at risk, but I would have never expected anything quite like what we found.” Dusk explained, rubbing his should with one hand, and flexing the one Applejack had just shaken into submission to restore feeling to the extremity. “As soon as I can find my assistant, I’m going to send a letter to the Princess about what we’ve found here and see to it Cherilee and the students get their fair share of equipment.”

“The Princess herself? No foolin’? So the paper’s right then?” The young unicorn’s face must have shown his dismay, because Applejack took a step back, reached up to the seat of her wagon and pulled out a paper before handing it to Dusk.

ARCH-MAGE SEEKS LOVE IN QUIET COUNTRY TOWN! Shocking scandal that will rock the foundations of Canterlot! The entire front page read, with the bottom of the page crammed with page-numbers where so-called ‘experts’ had written opinion pieces and ‘scoop’ articles.

“Oh dear sweet Lady Faust’s left arse-cheek.” Dusk groaned, opening up to the second page where a ‘highly-stationed source’ claimed the ‘infamous, uncatchable bachelor’ had snuck away to the ‘quiet, sleepy village’ to pursue a romantic liaison with an here-to-fore unknown mare, taking his draconic bodyguard with him and leaving dozens of lovers heartbroken in Canterlot. “One day, I will find a way to legally set fire to the editors of these shitty newspapers every time they green-light slander like this.”

The third and fourth pages were no better, with the entire third page taken up with an editorial rant about how the ‘infamous heart-breaker’ had gone too far, and needed to be brought back to Canterlot to fulfil his duties as … “A stud for the common good of the country? In your dreams, Prim Hemline. Looks like I need to make sure the restraining orders aren’t about to lapse when I get back to Canterlot … what next?” The fourth page held even more outrageous slander, claiming that Dusk and Celestia were having a lover’s tiff and Dusk had fled to Ponyville to be escape his lover’s grasp.

“Ah’m takin’ it that the paper is nothin’ but hot air?” Applejack asked, her tone and expression a melding of curiosity and barely-repressed mirth at Dusk’s reaction.

“Hot air isn’t the term I’d use to describe it, but there’s a lady present.” Dusk countered, rolling the paper up and handing it back to the mare with a wry smile on his face. “Thank you for the loan of the paper, miss. As soon as I can track down my assistant, I’ll buy a copy for myself and give the articles a proper reading over breakfast.”

“Yah ain’t had no breakfast? But it’s damn near ten in the mornin’!” The farm-mare spluttered, blonde eyebrows almost merging with that thick, gorgeous mane of BEHAVE, DUSK!

“Yes, well unfortunately I gave all our money to my assistant so she could have a day on the town, and I didn’t realize it would take so long to get things sorted with Cherilee.” Dusk explained, trying to step away from the pin-up of a mare and seek out Spine, and their money, and get some food in his belly and some distance from those HUUUUGE TIDDI-FAUST DAMN IT, SUBCONSCIOUS! You are not helping!

“Well, at least ‘ave an apple or three! Won’t do for some fancy big-wig stallion t’pass out ‘cause his blood-sugar got too low.” Applejack snorted, reaching behind her and, with an under-arm throw, hurled a massive red apple at Dusk, who grabbed it before it slammed into his chest. “On the house, ‘course.”

“Uhm, thank you.” Dusk mumbled, feeling the sting in his palms all too keenly from the mare’s throw and deciding he’d rather not risk offending this ‘Applejack’ by refusing her gift, and any potential strings that might come attached, took a bite into the fruit, expecting the same dry, tart flesh that was the common fare from Canterlot’s heavily-preserved stocks, and instead moaned in delight and surprise as pure ambrosia flowed across his tongue, the apple’s flesh crisp and sweet and the juice was absolutely divine.

“Heh … reckon ah’ve got another repeat customer on mah hands.” Applejack smirked, and Dusk found himself nodding thoughtlessly in agreement. Come hell or high-water and hang the cost, when Spine and I head back to Canterlot next year, I am getting our fruits and vegetables shipped direct from this mare’s farm. I am never willingly eating mana-preserved food ever again!

“Mmm-hmmmm!” Dusk moaned happily, enjoying every bite as he worked the apple to its core, everything melting away but for the sweet taste and delightful crunch of the apple-flesh. “Hmm, definitely going to bring Spine back here and get her to try some of these. And pay you back for this apple.”

“Like ah said, it’s on the house, Dusk. Can’t very well have a new pony come into town and not show ‘em some good ol’ fashioned Apple-Clan hospitality.”

Dusk froze at the words ‘Apple-Clan’, remembering all too well his teacher’s grumbling about ‘ass-backwards apples’ when dealing with the infamous clan that held a stranglehold on Equestria’s agriculture. Celestia herself thought twice about tangling with that family, if only because there were so damn many of them scattered all over the country, and the entire Clan was so loyal to its family-members that upsetting a prominent member of the Clan could result in nation-wide problems. Faust help him if this mare decided to take issue with Dusk’s gender or race, or worse still, decided to come onto him and Dusk’s rejection wasn’t taken well!

Panic, that old, familiar companion, began to bubble up inside of Dusk as he imagined the Apple clan spurning the Summer Sun Festival out of spite for his rejection of one of their own, of nation-wide shortages of fruits, vegetables and other edibles the Clan was famous for as they wrangled with Celestia over stud-rights to Dusk … and of being frog-marched through a cathedral full of angry earth ponies towards an orange-coated mare with straw-coloured hair in a bridal veil, thigh-high cowboy boots, and nothing else.

And what is that infernal whistling noise?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Applejack wasn’t entirely certain what she’d said to cause such a reaction, but the unicorn in-front of her had turned paler than milk under his coat, then flushed a deep red that almost rivalled her brother’s natural colour. Afraid she’d given such an important pony an apple that might have had some sort of defect, or that this ‘Dusk’ character might have swallowed a chunk of apple and had it go down the wrong pipe, Applejack took a step forward to offer some sort of aid and put a hand on the stallion’s shoulder to steady him.

Several things happened at once. Applejack’s concern was momentarily over-ridden by the strange warmth she felt flow through the skin of her palm and up her arm at the contact, like a warm, pleasant afternoon sun. Dusk’s eyes shot open, his pupils tiny pin-pricks almost lost amidst the white of his eyes, and he tried to take a step back.

“HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY AYYYYYYYYYYYY-JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!”

“Awwww fu-!” was all Applejack could begin to say before a familiar, and frustrating, blur of blue and chromatic rainbow colours slammed into her from behind, propelling Applejack forwards with inescapable force and ramming her into the panicking Unicorn with the full force of the reckless pegasus’s dive, the whole tangle of ponies going down with a collective yell, and Applejack found herself lying ontop of Dusk, her pegasus friend lying across Applejack’s lower back and legs despite the sheer momentum involved in her crash landing not sending Rainbow Crash skidding off into the distance … but something felt … off.

It was when Rainbow lifted her head and asked who had turned off the sun in a muffled voice that Applejack realized what that something was, staring at her plaid shirt that was now wrapped around her friend’s head, and the farm-mare slowly, painfully craned her head back down to look at the stallion pinned underneath her. The stallion who was currently getting a face-full of Apple Goods, with Applejack’s hand-me-down undershirt riding up around her shoulders, and the upper half of Dusk’s head, now turning a brilliant red, was barely visible between the tangle of her shirt and her breasts.

“Mmmmrph!”

“Oh lawdy, NO!”

“I can’t see, what’s going on?”

Chapter 7: Intrigue and Insects

Chapter 7:

“So this it it?” Spine said in a flat tone, staring at the cute little white Unicorn who had so kindly shown her around the town. “No arcades, no clubs, not even a computer store?”

“Yeah, it’s dead boring. Occasionally my sister goes to other towns and lets me tag along, and she gives me a purse full of bits and sends me to wander around rather than embarrass her in front of her clients, but Ponyville is dead boring.” Sweetie Belle said in the same flat tone, giving the Drake a sympathetic look. “I mean, there’s a monthly festival with singing contests and handicraft stalls, but that’s hosted by the Sisterhood and it’s really preachy, so none of the stallions in town show up for obvious reasons, and back when we were allowed to go into the Everfree, we could at least go find Cragadile eggs or go swimming in the rivers, but that’s just kiddy stuff. Mostly I just hang out at the Cake’s shop and listen to music on their radio with my friends.”

“Cragadile eggs? You mean one of the largest and more dangerous sub-species of the basilisk family?” Spine’s eye-frills lifted about a half-inch at that little nugget of information. “What, are your parents looking to cash in on your life insurance or …”

“Nah, the nest we used to raid was abandoned, and most of the eggs had turned to stone without their mother to keep them moist, but the nest was the size of a large house and full of tunnels from where the hatchlings who’d survived had dug their way out, so we’d all used to climb inside and use it like a fort … until Silver Spoon tattled to the adults after her favourite shirt got half-eaten by some parasprites, and then we all got yelled at by every parent in town and ordered to not go anywhere the forest.” The white unicorn groaned and kicked at a loose cobble, sending the flattened stone skipping down the road. “Your Neightendo is probably the most advanced technology in town outside of the computers in the city-council building.”

“Ugh. UUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH.” Spine rubbed at her temples, feeling a stress-migraine coming on. “Okay, I am going to find Dusk, we’re going to fix this because I am not spending six months in a town this boring.”

“You’re leaving? Already?” The disappointment in the young filly’s voice was both heart-breaking in its intensity, and soothed a need by Spine to have a random pony want to spend time with Spine because of herself, not because she was connected socially to Dusk or Celestia.

“No, no, I meant we’re here for at least six months, so Dusk had better damn well get me that connection to the Magi-Net, and while I’m laying down the law, I’ll see if we can get my consoles shipped out here.” Spine gave her guide a toothy grin, and felt her heart warm when an equally-excited smile was given back to her. “I mean, how much traffic can a library in a town of this size get? A lan-party is just as good as an online group after all, and this far from Canterlot Campus, Dusk and I can eat out without needing to keep an eye out for his demented groupies trying to bum-rush us, so I probably won’t need to make all of our meals.”

“I wouldn’t bet on that. Apart from the Cake’s bakery, Cafe Botte de Foin and the Hayburger Stand, there’s not many places in town to grab a bite to eat, unless you go to the market stands … which is almost entirely run by mares, and a lot of them are Sisterhood-types.” Sweetie Belle said in a strained tone, giving Spine a grimace-like smile. “We have maybe fifty stallions in a town of four hundred ponies, and at least thirty of those are married, gay, married and gay, or underage. If you’re taking a stallion into the market stands, both of you had better be prepared for at least some light flirting, if not some straight up ‘stand and deliver’ situations.”

“…Fffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck, I think Dusk might have been safer back in Canterlot with all the crazed super-talented mages trying to ride both his horns.” The Drake groaned and slapped a claw over her face. “Looks like I’m doing the shopping all on my own again. Bah!”

“It could be worse. At least you guys can go back to Canterlot. My friends and I are all stuck in a town where nothing interesting ever happens.” Sweetie Belle said darkly, before the air was rent by a high-pitched screech as Dusk Shine, the source of the awful noise and blinded by what looked like half of a white shirt impaled on his horn, came racing past, flailing his arms wildly in the air with a buff orange mare in hot pursuit, holding an arm across her chest to try and keep her thread-bare plaid shirt over her breasts, the other one reaching vainly for Dusk’s back and a frustrated look on her face.

The Drake and the small Unicorn watched the pair dash past before disappearing around a corner, their brains still trying to comprehend exactly what was going on, before Spine snapped back to reality first.

“Oh hell! DUSK! Keep running!” The Drake yelled, desperately trying to catch up, while Sweetie Belle threw her hands up in the air and whooped with laughter.

“Best! Day! Ever!” Sweetie cheered, grateful that Ponyville was going to be exciting for a change!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Deep under the mountains, she waited, biding her time patiently, like a cunning spider in its web, waiting, waiting, waiting for that one tremor along her web to let her know the prey had stumbled into her trap.

Chrysalis let the illusion of elegance and control wash over her for a few more seconds before the unending cacophony of the Hive’s industry shattered her calm frame of mind. Her mother’s Hive, as the paranoid old hag was so fond of saying. Chrysalis couldn’t have five seconds to herself, or leave the Hive, or even take a shower in peace without either one of her mother’s Drones getting underfoot, or her older sisters hassling her endlessly.

“Oh hey Chryssi, you need to figure out how to feed fifty changelings with rations meant for ten.” “Chryssi, change my grubs' diapers for me!” “Chryssi, get outta here, this orgy is only for the cool Changelings!” “Go find me a hot Guard Drone, Chryssi, or I’ll tear your wings out and beat you with them!”

It’s not like Chrysalis hadn’t tried everything she could think of to change the status quo, to save her Hive, but when push came to shove, Chrysalis’s less-is-more attitude to the fodder, aka Ponykind, made her seem weak and insipid to her far more ambitious family members. Ponies were to be grabbed in lightning raids on groups of vagabonds, outcasts and exiles, the unfortunates cocooned and placed into suspended animation as their love siphoned from them, trapped in fantasies that pandered to their deepest, darkest desires as the Hive’s Tenders coaxed their psychic essence out to serve as the Hive’s nourishment.

The concept of living amongst the Ponies, integrating seamlessly into their societies and pretending to be Ponies so as to harvest love directly and in larger quantities than the old methods could ever produce was feasible was Chrysalis’s greatest dream and the only hope she could see of saving the Hive from the slow, withering path to extinction the Matriarch had set her children upon. Flames of Tartarus, Chrysalis had tested her theory personally for several moons, just soaking up the ambient love and psychic energies of the townsfolk as she used her telepathic powers to befuddle their minds just enough that her insertion into their community went unnoticed, and returning to the Hive stronger than any Changeling Queen since the Golden Age. Certainly stronger that the Matriarch had thought possible, at least.

That alone had been her saving grace. Her mother, that sadistic, self-obsessed witch, had immediately tried to have Chrysalis executed on the spot as a traitor for returning to the Hive without permission, only to have to do some amazing political back-flips when Chrysalis, gorged on power, had laid into those older sisters who had leapt to earn favour from the Matriarch by shedding Chrysalis’s blood. Chrysalis has shattered their limbs to end their physical attacks, pulled their wings out root and all to stop them trying to escape, pulverized their horns with her bare hands to neuter their spells before marching over to the nearest storage crystal and pumping all of her energy into it, glaring into her now-cowering Matriarch’s eyes the whole time .

I could take everything from you right now, but I am doing this for the Hive. Chrysalis had sent the message burning through the upper levels of the Hive-Mind, taking a certain sort of pleasure in how her mother’s presence in the Hive-Mind shuddered as much from the concept of sharing as the fear that her most despised daughter was now capable of toppling the Matriarch with a single blow, let alone how the mind-glows of her fellow Queen-caste sisters all trembled with rage and fear.

Chrysalis’s gift of stolen psychic energy, specifically charged with the power of Love, should have been enough to feed the Hive for over a year if they kept to the current rationing levels. Proof, empirical proof that Chrysalis’s method worked leaps and bounds ahead of the old ways, proof that the Hive could thrive if only the Changelings were willing to change.

And her mother had suddenly turned into sweetness and light, praising Chrysalis for her ‘gift’ to her Hive, lavishing meaningless honours on her daughter’s head while simultaneously laying claim to the massive amount of psychic energy as not only her idea, but her private source of sustenance.

And the Hive had cheered her mother, not Chrysalis. They had cheered for the evil bitch who was hoarding a Queen’s ransom in food for herself, and only herself, while they would have to continue to make do with mere scraps that would diminish with every passing month, as the weakest Changelings slowly starved to death in the dark corners of a Hive that had once held fifty times their number with ease because the cocooned ponies no longer produced as freely as they had once first captured, and the Matriarch refused to do anything to stem the steady loss of the Hive’s food-supply because to do so would be to admit she was wrong.

Chrysalis had debased herself, a Queen-Caste living amongst the Ponies as a simple labourer, putting up with their banal stupidity, their idiotic laws, their … boringness, trudging along on her mission all on her own, with no contact amongst the Hive Mind for fear of sabotage or worse from her elder kin as she lived in a small crawl-space above the warehouse she worked in, sneaking down to the river in the pre-dawn to bath in the freezing water to keep herself clean and trying desperately to infiltrate a society whose more intimate social mores and folkways she knew nothing about.

It wouldn’t have been the first time that Chrysalis had had to separate herself from the Hive-Mind, but it had been the most terrifying for the sheer length for which she had not had the incessant drone of tens of thousands of minds chattering in the back of her own head. Unfortunately, cutting all contact with the Hive-Mind had also made it all but impossible for Chrysalis to rally any Drones to her cause by showing them how easy it was to harvest Love without needing to bow to the tyrannical Matriarch and her fanatical adherence to the old ways, even as the Hive starved under her mother’s rule, even as the Changelings edged closer and closer to extinction, all because the Matriarchs refused to release even an inch of their stranglehold on their society, as the Queens all squabbled and bickered and feuded over who would replace a Matriarch when one finally succumbed to old age or the incessant assassination attempts.

It was … maddening. No matter what she did, her mother was determined to hold onto the ancient traditions that gave her ultimate authority, even if it killed everyone in the Hive in the end. Her sisters were more interested in standing atop what little scrap-heaps of power they had clawed together for themselves and trying to murder each other to claim each other’s hoards, her brothers were all either too young to help or already traded away to whatever other Hives still remained to prevent inbreeding, and the Princes from the other Hives were just as hollow-eyed and broken as the common Drones were.

Struck with a growing sense of despair that everything she was doing was pointless, Chrysalis stood and walked through the Hive towards the primary exit, ignoring the sneers of her older Sisters who, despite their superior numbers, kept their distance and their protective wards fully charged, turning a blind eye to Guard Drones who followed her at distance just shy of respectful and closer to outright surveillance, until she stood at the entrance, narrowing her eyes as she braved the harsh rays of the mid-day sun.

Behind her lay a dying Hive, ruled by bitter paranoia, spiteful intrigue and a self-destructive lust for power, where her death was simply a matter of time until her Sisters managed to bury their mutual loathing of each other and fear of her long enough to unite against her, or her mother finally decided to move openly against Chrysalis again to crush the biggest ‘threat’ to her rule.

Before her lay a barren wasteland that no sane species claimed … and beyond that, Equestria. A land of plenty, ruled by a Goddess of mercy and hope, the ancient enemy of her people that had sundered the Changeling Empire of old and driven her species to the brink of extinction.

For several heart-beats, Chrysalis wavered. Everything she had fought for, the weight of tradition, loyalty, love for people weighing on her shoulders, telling her to come back inside, that tomorrow she could try again and maybe it would work this time.

A moment later, Chrysalis stepped out into the sunlight, leaving it all behind, and she had never felt lighter, both in body and spirit.

She would lead her people away from the precipice of extinction that the Matriarchs seemed hell-bent on pushing their entire species over. But to do that, Chrysalis would need power, political and otherwise, a bountiful territory of her own and an army strong enough to overthrow any force that stood in her way.

And to attain all of those things, she would need to head deep into the beating heart of ponykind’s society, alone and without any support from her Hive, and hope that her theories and tactics would survive contact with the enemy at their strongest.

Chrysalis extended her gossamer, tattered wings and took to the air, ignoring the whispers and the shouts behind her, and flew resolutely to the north, towards ponykind’s greatest kingdom.

Towards Equestria. Towards Canterlot.

Towards destiny.

Chapter 8: The shirt off my back

Chapter 8:

“Well, ah am gonna say, that’s not how ah thought mah mornin’ would go.” Applejack sighed, leaning back against the padded backrest of a couch in the library, nursing a cup of tea in one hand and tugging at the neck of the way-too-small-in-the-chest shirt that Dusk Shine had so kindly loaned her … after she’d chased him through half the town with her goods hanging out and then been clotheslined by his bodyguard, a slender female drake who even now kept on giving Applejack concerned looks. It didn’t help that the shirt smelled very strongly of Dusk’s aftershave … and though Applejack would never admit it, the Stallion himself.

Maybe she could manage to avoid returning it immediately …

“Nor mine. I … do have to apologise for over-reacting, miss Jack. It’s just … Spine and I have had to deal with no end of nightmares in Canterlot involving mares actually trying to do what you managed to achieve accidentally.” The Unicorn laughed nervously, steadfastly looking at the space over Applejack’s head.

“You’re saying getting pushed over, mounted by the finest ass in Equestria and having a fantastic pair of tits shoved in your face is something you avoid?” Rainbow Dash said in surprise, completely oblivious to the entire room turning and giving her the death-glare at her comment. “What, are you gay? C’mon, you had to have popped at least half a boner! Like any Stallion’s going to say no to sex with a hot mare like Applejack, or me, am I right?”

“Yeah, getting spontaneously sexually assaulted and harassed constantly by random strangers who can only see you as a potential notch on their belt sounds like fun.” Spine muttered darkly with enough sarcasm in her voice to leave no doubt of her contempt for the rainbow-haired woman, complete with an evil look matched only by the sheer fury playing across Mayor Mare’s face.

“Speaking of fun, I want a report on my table first thing tomorrow, miss Dash, about the dangers of unsafe flying and the government’s stance on sexism amongst its staff while we’re at it. You were going far too fast while that close to the ground that you couldn’t pull up in time to avoid a crash! That’s a class three accident, and the seventh one you’ve been involved in this year, and I don’t want to even touch what you just said without my lawyer present!” Mayor Mare snapped, slapping the table with her palm hard enough that Applejack was concerned she might have broken something. “If you don’t shape up and stop screwing around while on the clock, I will fire you and find a new pony for the job of Weather Team Leader, so help me Faust!”

“Awww come on?! It was just a little spill!” Rainbow whined, rocking from side to side on the stool, likely already bored out of her mind. The looks on Dusk’s, Spine’s and Mayor Mare’s faces could have caused water to spontaneously combust, yet Rainbow seemed to not care …

“Rainbow, you’re lucky ah’m your friend, or ah’d be pressin’ assault charges fer what you did to me an’ this here Stallion. An’ ah’m damn lucky he ain’t pressin’ no assault charges on me for what happened at mah stall!” The orange farm-mare scowled at her friend, who just shrugged and grinned at Applejack, still refusing to get the hint. An’ once again, Rainbow proves to be distressin’ly oblivious to the fact she’s walkin’ on a greased-up tight-rope with her wings bound an’ a bucket full o’ her ego in each hand.

“And you’re super damn lucky I wasn’t there when this all happened, or there’d be two mares being booked into whatever passes for a hospital in this town for third-degree burns.” Spine growled, tongues of green flame licking out past her lips as Applejack and Rainbow gave her startled looks. “I am Dusk Shine’s bodyguard, and I have a policy of ‘maim first, ask questions later’ when dumbass mares start trying to lay hands on him. You get me, blue, or do I need to burn your pinions off before you pull your head out of your ass?”

“Hey, hey! It was an accident, an accident!” The blue pegasus spluttered, waving a hand nonchalantly even has her forehead became beaded with sweat. “No need for the threats, scalebelly!”

“Miss Dash, I advise, for the sake of your continued employment and physical well being, shut the fuck up.” Mayor Mare grated at the weather-maintenance mare with a tone that Dusk was sure would have made his older brother’s drill-sergeant weep tears of pride. “Lord Dusk Shine, I apologise profusely for the inadequacy of my employee and this morning’s debacle. It will not happen again.”

This last part was said while Mayor Mare glared into Rainbow Dash’s now wide-open eyes with a look that promised eternal suffering, or at least a being screamed into submission as soon as the frazzled Mayor could drag Rainbow back to the council offices.

“Look, why don’t we just leave it there for now. Miss Dash in on record, and on notice, about her actions, miss Jack has a stall to run, you’re a very busy mare, Mayor, and I need to sit down, clear my head and go over these student files otherwise I’m not going to be able to assemble a working lesson plan for Ponyville’s children and they are going to be disadvantaged for the rest of their adult lives, compared to children coming from more normal schooling systems.” Rubbing at his forehead in frustration, Dusk glared at Rainbow, and Applejack was suddenly reminded that this was, if what information Mayor Mare had been able to impart before their little pow-wow in the library’s kitchen, was one of the most powerful Unicorns on the continent, not just magically but in political connections, especially his connection to his teacher, Princess Celestia.

Why do ah get the feelin’ Rainbow jus’ shot down her own dream o’ bein’ a Wonderbolt with this? Applejack turned the thought over and over in her mind. On the one hand, she was sad on behalf of Rainbow, it was obvious as the freckles on Applejack’s face that Rainbow had spent most of her life and all of her effort on being a good enough flier to even be considered as a Wonderbolt, and now, because Rainbow had once again refused to exercise any self-control or think about anything other than her dream, all that time, effort, blood, sweat and tears might be flushed down the crapper.

“Look, ah ain’t gonna say Rainbow should get offa this mess she’s made fer herself with jus’ a slap on the wrist, but she’s a good mare … jus’ dumb as a rafter o’ turkeys an’ ‘bout as evolved as dirt when it comes to the stallions, but ah’d like to think we can turn today’s stupidity into a learnin’ experience fer her.” Applejack’s mouth was moving before her brain could stop it. Gah! Why? They were pissed at Rainbow, an’ ah can’t afford no lawyer if’n this Dusk stallion decides to take mah ass to the courts and sues mah pants off! “Can’t we jus’ … make her do somethin’ fer mister Dusk an’ miss Spine here? Make her see she’s wrong as pears?”

“That’s … well, it’s not a terrible idea, but I am exceedingly concerned about having this mare anywhere near my person.” The Unicorn muttered, eying Applejack and rubbing at his chin in thought. Damn, give that Stallion some home cookin’ an’ some hard work to make ‘im fill out a bit more, give him a beard an’ he’ll make that pose look … DAMMIT!

“Miss Jack, I’m assuming you have some sort of idea?” The Mayor said, her tone all sweetness and light, but still managing to send a bone-shaking shudder down Applejack’s spine from the look of glittering, calculating malice in her eyes.

“Well, jus’ thinkin’, mister Shine here needs a gopher to do his business while his bodyguard keeps his bee-hind safe from the Mares who don’t get the meanin’ of ‘No’, so why not relieve Rainbow here from her position at the Council’s weather station an’ make her mister Shine’s gopher fer a few months.” Applejack forged ahead, ignoring the suddenly-pale face of her friend and the frantically mouthed ‘nonononono’ being sent her way. “If’n mister Shine thinks Rainbow has learned her lesson, she gets her position back an’ this all goes away, no official reports or nuthin’ that could stand in the way o’ her career. If’n she don’t impress mister Shine an’ keeps up wit’ her antics though, then Rainbow’s in the market for a new job wit’ a sting under her tail to remind her to keep her big mouth shut if’n she can’t say nothin’ nice.”

Rainbow appeared to have lost all colour, becoming a faded, almost-white caricature of herself wobbling back and forth bonelessly in her seat, while Mayor Mare and Dusk Shine appeared to be communicating via telepathy, and the young Drake looked like she’d bitten into a cow-pie.

“That’s not necessarily a bad idea, miss Jack. We could put another Pegasus from the Weather Team into the command position for a month or two, get some experience drilled into the more proficient members of the team in-case we have another … accident.” The Mayor sighed and nodded in Applejack’s direction. “And it will also be rather appropriate to see miss Dash finally putting all that exuberance to good use assisting somebody whom she’s put in harm’s way for once.”

Rainbow Dash’s dangerous wobbling appeared to double in intensity, her eyes full of despair and betrayal.

“Hmmm, I’m not entirely sold on this plan, but if Rainbow Dash fails to live up to the terms, well … a very public firing could do wonders to keep other mares like her off my ass, both figuratively and literally.” The stallion sighed and leaned back from the table, his expression troubled. “Princess Celestia always says that redemption is the hope all should be offered, and I’d be a poor student if I didn’t try to live up to her teachings. I’ll do this … and it should also keep the Mayor’s office from being short-handed if she needs to assign me somebody as a guide around town.”

“Well, I will be keeping an eye on her.” Spine grumbled, thin trails of smoke leaking from between her teeth, but the drake’s aggression seemed to have gone down to a dull simmer, rather than the banked inferno that Applejack had faced earlier.

“Ain’t gonna argue with yah there, miss Spine, but ah reckon if’n we give Rainbow here some firm guidelines an’ remind her that speed an’ skill alone don’t make ye the best candidate for Weather Manager, problems like this’ll stop happen’ real quick-like.” Sparing an apologetic look towards the white-face ghost that was occupying the space that Rainbow had once been occupying, Applejack turned her attention back to the others and gave a small smile. “She loves that job like nothin’ else, so ah doubt she’ll do anythin’ to make y’all consider takin’ it away from her. An’ fast as she is, ah’d bet good bits she’ll be the quickest gopher yah ever did see.”

Rainbow Dash merely continued to wobble back and forth on her seat like a half-inflated balloon-clown on a windy day, her expression one of bleak despair and her eyes empty wells of sorrow.

“…I’ll take that as a ‘yes’ then, on Rainbow’s behalf.” Mayor Mare said after several awkward seconds of silence, before leaning over and pushing Rainbow off of her chair, the white’d-out pegasus turning into a boneless pile of mush on the floor. “I’ll have her over at the library by 8am sharp tomorrow morning, if that pleases you, Lord Dusk Shine?”

Dusk and his bodyguard shared a measured look, and suddenly Applejack was reminded of what her granny had said the night before, and mingled feelings of amusement, shock and a smidge of jealousy wormed their way through her before the drake sighed, and the Unicorn gave a weary nod.

“That sounds just fine, Mayor Mare. And now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go …” With a deep, hearty sigh that seemed to come from his boots, Dusk Shine gave a fornlorn look at his bodyguard, who merely grinned slightly at him. “… I have to go see the ponies are the Barnyard Bargain store about some linen.”

“Need new beddin’ fer the old librarian’s private quarters?” Applejack asked as she got up and moved to help the Mayor drag Rainbow out of the library by the ankles.

“More like I need to stock up on towels for the bathroom.” Dusk said wearily.

“And the kitchen. And the entry-hall. And the …”

“Yes, yes, I get it Spine.”

“And so will I. Repeatedly.”

“Spine, we have guests.”

“Guests who are leaving … and we still have the towels for the stairwell, the spare-room and the pantry to deal with before you make a break for the shops!”

Raising an eyebrow at whatever weird Canterlot etiquette that required having towels in every room in the library, Applejack started dragging her comatose friend out of the library and mentally started coming up with reasons to avoid returning Dusk Shine’s shirt for as long as possible … or maybe just buy him a replacement altogether.

Chapter 10: Attention shoppers, we are having a sale on towels, awkward situations and stalking in aisle 10

Author's Note

So. Another update routed through the dumbphone because Telstra, in it's infinite desire to bend the rubes over the nearest flat surface and gently whisper in our ears "There is no lube.", has delightfully informed me that my broadband access is at least THREE WEEKS AWAY.

So unfortunately, that means brute-force copy-pasting this from the PC to the dumbphone, and from the phone to hear, which somehow strips all the italliac away, so there's no way for me to put it back in since this phone apparently cannot shift-drag over words.

Please bear with me as I try to figure out how I am going to get around this without an aneurism in the process. As soon as I have working net again, I'll be Editting these back up to my usual level.

:facehoof:

Edit: TEMPORARY ACCESS TO THE NET ACHIEVED! Let me burn all this money editing MLP:FIM fanfictions ... the fudge am I doing with my life?

Chapter 10: Attention shoppers, we are having a sale on towels, awkward situations and stalking in aisle 10

Dusk commended himself with mustering the physical stamina necessary to walk to the modern-looking super-store, given that his legs felt like shredded jelly, his back like a slab of tenderized meat and his unmentionables defied description in any of the many languages Dusk could speak and read, but found the small glow of satisfaction fading swiftly at how easily Spine moved about.

Eight times. EIGHT. TIMES. I had to wrap my groin in a barrier spell and then teleport into my pants because of how badly mangled I am right now, and she’s bouncing around like she’s made of rubber. Is this a Dragon thing, or are all females just dementedly happy after sex?

A small mercy came from the fact that despite walking around in public, well, limping if Dusk was being totally honest with himself, was that not a single mare had come up and tried to put the moves, or a hand, on him, Officer Rulebook’s not-entirely-stalking-but-still-unsettling shenanigans notwithstanding. The pale brown Mare’s peeking around corners and stalls and tip-toeing in broad daylight to the next ‘hiding place’ would have been hilarious if her attention was on anyone but Dusk right now.

Faust as my witness, I hope I can chain a few instant teleports together if the policemare decides to go for the kill, because right now a lame, geriatric hamster could outrun me.

“…So I’m thinking we set aside a section of the library for a Gaming Corner, and then …” Dusk ‘returned’ to the conversation he was having with the very happy Spine, and frowned as he caught the tail end of a happy ramble.

“Okay, stopping you right there, Spine. The Golden Oaks Library is a public venue, and more importantly, government property. We might get away with putting a magi-net café in there, a couple of computer towers and a router with sufficient grunt to handle the traffic, but an actual arcade would simply draw all the wrong kinds of attention.” Dusk grunted, his expression stormy as Spine turned to give him an incredulous look. “Do you have any idea how many months we would been hitting our head against the Department of Planning and Infrastructure when they learn we’re trying to convert a literal monument to an almost-forgotten magical art into a gaming corner? Let alone how much Mayor Mare might take offence at us just changing the library into our personal home-away-from-home without consulting her first about the changes?”

“But … this town is boring. I spent most of this morning talking to Ponies and the only real entertainment they’ve got is one tavern, a karaoke bar that’s only open on the weekends, a spa center and whatever gossip they get up to at the markets, and that’s so heavily in the Sisterhood’s hands that if I take you with me, you’re basically going to get assaulted the moment I let go of your hand.” The young Drake’s smile fell so instantly Dusk’s heart clenched.

“I didn’t say we wouldn’t have a gaming corner, let alone injecting some more modern entertainment venues into the town, but we have to make sure that whatever we build here is going to last after we leave and go back to Canterlot, remember? We’re going to be pumping a considerable amount of bits into the town for the … thingy … that’ll be happening in a few months, let alone whatever the Princess will redirect once she can start following up on the misappropriated funds we’ve discovered thus far.” The Unicorn limped up and wrapped an arm around Spine’s shoulders, and pulled the young Drake into a one-armed hug, marvelling that he could do this in Ponyville without nearby Ponies turning up their noses or muttering about ‘race traitors’. “I am thinking we’d probably need to set up something simple, just a concrete insta-building like the town’s council offices, and given that Ponyville was built right ontop of a Leyline, all they’ll need is the tech to condense and refine the mana into a usable state, and a suitable connection to the magi-net, and the gaming corner would be pretty much set. Probably a small cinema or theatre hall wouldn’t go astray either, but we’d have to go small since the town may not have that big of a population even after the festi … thingy is over.”

Spine’s arm snuck around Dusk’s chest and returned the hug, crushingly so as Dusk wheezed from feeling his ribs creak under the pressure.

“Sorry, I just … I was talking to Sweetie Belle, and she was just so … I get it, you know? I get what it’s like to be so bored because I can’t do anything, because nothing clicks for me, I don’t fit in anywhere and nobody will let me join them because of that.” The drake’s voice was small and fragile as they kept on walking, and Dusk’s heart squeezed in his chest. “So, I thought if I could build a place where the local kids could have fun, then maybe I could … maybe if I ran the place where they could have fun, then they’d think of me as Spine the fun dragon, not Spine the scary monster.”

“Hey. Hey. None of that. We haven’t had a single comment about predators since we got here, and that’s not going to change.” Dusk stopped walking and turned Spine to face him, frowning as he saw a tear in the corner of the Drake’s eye. “Creepy mares aside, this town is perfect for us, together, because we can make a difference here, and nobody important is making a fuss about either of what makes us different, me being a Unicorn, or you being a Dragon. Give it a few more weeks, we’ll have you set up as the life of the party for the under-twenty crowd, and I’ll hopefully have gotten the ball rolling on both the thingy and helping Cherilee with her students.”

“Heh. You know nobody in this town is going to be anywhere near you in the brainiac department, right? You’re going to be stuck teaching at the public level, not the level you’re used to at Celestia’s school.” Sniffing, Spike wiped the tear away and gave Dusk a fragile grin. That’s better. I knew Spine was lonely with just myself and my family for company, but I didn’t know she was so brittle about being isolated. She’s very mature for a Pony of her age, but she’ a Dragon, and they age very differently, and that’s not even including the hot mess of her hormones causing Spine to shift into different age categories at the drop of a hat!

“I think I can make do. Besides, you have got to try the produce here, we’re getting our food straight from Ponyville no-matter where we end up, and hang the cost.” Dusk replied with an exaggerated sniff, which made Spine giggle and start walking again, this time holding one of Dusk’s hands in her own as they meandered towards the super-market. “We might even end up living out here permanently if things go well.”

“You’re going to give up on Canterlot’s libraries?” The Drake asked in surprise, giving Dusk a searching look as they ducked around a knot of chattering mares, many of whom gave Dusk looks of their own that the young Unicorn ignored with weary practice. So long as all they did was look, Dusk could simply ignore them, but if they tried anything else, the mares would end up pulling back singed hands at best. “Did you have a stroke or something back at the library?”

“Hah. Hah. Hah. No, but you did cause some damage, so please, slow down, my everything is killing me. But I have been doing some thinking, about what we’re going to do if we keep going down this path, about what’s best for us as people, not a Magi and a Dragon. I mean, Canterlot’s just a half-day’s travel via train if I absolutely need to go back to Canterlot to attend a lecture or visit a library, and even shorter if I hire a flying carriage.” Dusk explained as Spine fell in beside him, walking a little bit slower to stay by Dusk’s side with his limping stride. “And even if we don’t end up staying in Ponyville for longer than the Princess requires of us, there’s no hard-and-fast rule that we need to stay in Canterlot, there’s plenty of other towns and cities that would pay through the nose for a Magi of my calibre to handle their magical problems, and we can keep shuffling around until we find a place where Ponies will accept you for you. Manehattan has a large non-pony population, after all, as does Neigh York and Hoofington, just off the top of my head.”

As they had almost reached the entrance to the super-market, Dusk turned and gave Spine a serious look of his own.

“Maybe that’s how we make our mark, Spine. I teach the children, you set up sanctuaries for them where they can enjoy their childhoods, with full sanction from Celestia herself, and that’s our legacy, a chain of Spine’s Corner Stores where people can come in and just have fun, a place of safety where anyone and everyone can be accepted and just be themselves without having to wonder what the close-minded are doing on the other side of the door.”

Spine’s squeeze of Dusk’s hand, and the eager grin on her face, filled Dusk with a sense of relief. It wouldn’t necessarily be a bad life, travelling Equestria and helping out the needy and creating places for the nation’s youth to gather and relax. It would also do Dusk wonders for his experiments in the coveted ‘eternal youth’ spell that so many Magi sought out, since Canterlot’s resources tended to either be loaded with self-impressed ramblings of the delusional and the mad that led the unwary to extremely horrific ends, or were filled with obfuscating texts and intentional sabotage by magi who had made their own variations on the spell and sought to keep others from achieving the same lofty heights out of hubris and spite.

Travelling the country, if not the world, and learning secrets from beyond Canterlot’s stunted and in-bred magical community could be an adventure in and of itself. I have kind of exploited all my options in Canterlot as things stand, and even if I did manage to make the spell work, did I really want to spend the next several thousand years hiding from consecutive generations of stalkers in my tower?

The sliding doors opened, and a blast of cool, dry air, loaded with the smell of cleaning agents, competing perfumes and the faint ozone scent of mana-preserved food.

“Huh … it’s like being back in Canterlot’s lower suburbs, but without the staff acting desperately snobby to pretend they’re of the same class as the Nobility.” Spine wondered out loud as the mismatched pair entered the building, taking note of the dozen service-stations staffed by younger Ponies all wearing crisp uniforms and bored expressions, and Mares of all ages, a few with Stallions at their sides and many more with children testing their patience with insistent begging for cheap toys or junk food, and many more running wildly around the supermarket’s aisles.

“Huh, feels like home, which just makes me depressed. C’mon, let’s grab those towels, snacks and whatever else we need to bring the Library back up to code, and then we hit the market stalls for some fresh food.” Dusk grumbled under her breath, elbowing Spine as a few ponies turned to stare at the Dragon and snickered at her comment. “No sense in riling up the locals, Spine, not without due cause.”

“Hey, it was a compliment. I want to shop here, nopony’s running up and telling me I’m not equine enough to come in.”

“Do I have to explain the concept of a backhanded compliment to you again?”

“Do I have to reverse cow-girl you into submission again?”

“… Curse your draconic vitality, and your cute little butt, Spine.”

“Hey, I put the ‘ass’ in ‘assistant’ for a damn good reason. And remember, we’re getting the extra fluffy towels, the ones that can absorb the extra … spillage.”

Dusk only whimpered as Spine dragged him further into the store, the sliding doors hissing softly as they glided shut behind the hapless Magi and his Draconic ‘assistant’.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rarity bit a finger as she walked the newcomer from Canterlot walk into Filthy Rich’s Barnyard Bargains superstore, eying her competition with a critical eye.

Another species, so his tastes run to the exotic, maybe he’s had so many Mares that what nature intended no longer arouses him? A stallion who is so experienced and inexhaustible that the pleasures of his own kind no longer excite him? And from what I could see, he’s able to cheer that dragon up with just a few words, so possibly able to read the mood of his lover at a glance? Or perhaps it’s magic?

Whatever the case, Lord Dusk Shine was everything and more than the stories and scandals promised. Slender of build without being thin and muscular enough to fill out his clothing in just enough fashion to hint at what might be lurking under the cloth, tall enough to be just slightly above eye-level with all but the tallest of Mares and his mane, tail and coat shined with good health and the signs of excellent grooming. Perhaps lost to the non-unicorns, however, was the length and girth of his horn, the elegant, spiralling grooves that ran around and up the horn, and the sharpness of the point …

Goodness me, if I keep thinking about his horn, I think my underwear might undergo something of a crisis shortly! The fashionista tittered to herself, stepping confidently out into the sunlight and towards the superstore, already mentally planning her courtship of the ‘uncatchable’ bachelor. To ‘casually’ bump into him, be approachable to the Dragon, work her way in and see how deeply the two were attached, if it was just a sensual fling or if it was something more … emotional … between the two.

And what if it is just that, Rarity? What if they truly are in love? How will you pursue your dream with a clear conscience if this one, shining chance ends up costing somebody else their heart? The thought put a pause in Rarity’s otherwise flawless stride that nearly made her stumble. What if Lord Dusk Shine and this Dragon were in love? Certainly, cross-species marriages were rare, especially in Canterlot where old blood, old rules and older ways of thinking still held the reins of power, but with the backing of Princess Celestia herself, there would be few who would openly decry such a union … And what if in pursuing Dusk Shine, I set myself square in the sights of the Princess as a threat to her daughter? That is Spine el’Celeste, adopted daughter of the Princess herself, not some half-inbred hick-mare I can just bump to the side without a care.

Another thought came to Rarity as she considered her options, the sliding doors of the superstore coming ever closer, as did the rising feeling of butterflies in her stomach.

Could I share Lord Dusk Shine with the Dragon? I mean, I’m not averse to sampling from both side of the buffet, after all, and if what Sweetie Belle was saying is true, Spine is quite lonely and lovely. If I work my way in slowly, I could not only become wedded to the greatest Wizard of our time, but also be the co-wife of the adopted daughter of Princess Celestia herself! I would become the relative of the Goddess of the Sun!

The thought almost made Rarity swoon on the spot. More than just being able to influence the fate of the nation and stamp her mark on history, she’d be a literal relative of a timeless, nay, Divine Ruler! Her dreams of dragging Equestria out of the cultural Dark Ages and embracing a wider world of talents and ideas would metamorphose from mere fantasies into actual possibilities! She could become the trend-setter for world fashion!

Giggling to herself at the thought, Rarity almost missed the rare sight of Fluttershy out in public. The town’s notoriously reclusive veterinarian and conservationist, wearing her trade-mark over-sized hoodie, nervously dithering at the entrance to the superstore, curls of pink hair escaping the voluminous hood before, amazingly, Fluttershy entered the superstore.

… What did I just see? Fluttershy, of all Ponies, entering the Barnyard Bargain store during the early morning rush period? She normally gets all of her animals’ food delivered via courier, doesn’t she? Rarity paused her advance to tap a finger to her lips in thought. Fluttershy’s fear of large groups of ponies was legendary, and nothing short of an animal in distress or a rare creature being on display would bring her away from her cottage and into such a situation … Of course! The dragon! Fluttershy must be dying to see a young one, and there’s one that’s been reared by the Princess herself, so she’d be perfectly safe getting close to the dragon!

Smirking as she stalked into the superstore after Fluttershy, Rarity looked around confidently, noting that, once again, she was the best-dressed mare in the vicinity, elegant yet casual, sophisticated yet not over-dressed for her surroundings. Several mares scowled at her, but many more looked her way and smiled or waved. It paid to be the only tailor in town, and to be the best clothes shop as well, especially since Rarity prided herself on taking great pains to make the perfect outfit for whoever she served, regardless of any animosity she or the customer might have felt towards one another. Even if other mares did try to compete with Rarity for the affections of the new Stallion in town, they’d hardly be in any position to offer meaningful competition.

She was a successful business owner, moderately wealthy in her own right, elegant, educated and …

The confidence died in Rarity’s mind as she saw Fluttershy, the mare who could barely bring herself to talk to another pony and would freeze up or run away if a stallion spoke to her, took a deep breathe, stride through the crowd of gossiping mares at the service stations and walk right up to Lord Dusk Shine and Lady Spike el’Celeste and tap the Stallion on the shoulder.

Rarity felt her stomach-butterflies come back with a vengeance as she remembered that Fluttershy was famous around town for three reasons: her incredibly shy nature, her deep and abiding love of animals and her natural beauty that could make even the most heavily augmented supermodels weep tears of bloody jealousy.

FUCK!

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It was taking every scrap of courage and resolve for Fluttershy to hold her ground as the stallion and dragon turned to look at her, the purple unicorn with a look of weary resignation, the drake with one of frustration.

“Uh-uhm, excuse me, but is that a baby dragon, or is she a juvenile?” Fluttershy squeaked out, her eyes trailing over the ridge of green that ran from the drake’s head down her back and to the tip of her tail, the lighter-green ear-frills, the pale purple scales, and felt a thrill of excitement course through her. A real life dragon! And not one of the brutes that lived in the Badlands and captured Ponies for ransom!

“I am a … uhm … teenager, and I can speak for myself.” The drake snapped, pausing uncertainly at first before gaining momentum. “Can we help you? We’re kind of in the middle of our shopping here.”

“Oh, oh I’m sorry, it’s just I’ve always wanted to meet a dragon, but the only ones I knew of were the ones who liked to kidnap Ponies at the borders and ransom them back for gems, and, well, I was told a dragon had come into town, so I was wondering, if you don’t mind, if we could … talk?” Leaning in closer to give a trembling smile, Fluttershy’s eyes locked onto the drake’s, who seemed rather flustered. “Oh, I didn’t mean I thought you were one of those dragons, I mean … I’m the town veterinarian, and I’ve always had an interest in the other intelligent species, but the town doctor only know how to deal with pony injuries, so …”

“Only a single doctor, huh? Wow, huh, looks like we’ve got something else to fix while we’re here …” The stallion muttered darkly, while the drake flushed a darker shade again.

“W-well, if you don’t mind talking while we shop.” The drake mumbled, and squealing softly in excitement, Fluttershy shuffled up next to the drake, who sneezed and gave Fluttershy a bewildered look, oblivious to the incredulous faces of the stallion, and the local residents who were watching the exchange. “My name’s Spine, Spine el’Celeste, and y-you are?”

“Oh, this is so exciting! I’m Fluttershy, Ponyville’s veterinarian and … and I guess I’m also the town’s expert on non-equine medicine. There’s so much I want to know, so much we don’t know about how the dragon physiology works! U-uhm, would it be okay if, while you are shopping, if you could start at the beginning ...”

“The beginning of what?” Spine asked softly, nostrils twitching as the odd trio walked down the aisle, Dusk levitating basic necessities, dry goods and cleaning products, into the trolley, as Spine, awkwardly at first, began to share her hatching, and her early life, with Fluttershy, who ate up every word with wide, excited eyes and soft urgings to continue.

For Fluttershy, it was simply amazing to speak to a dragon who didn’t send her into spasms of terror at just the sight of them, and once Spine got over her shyness … how amazing is it that I am making somebody else nervous? … and began to explain what it was like, growing up a carnivore amongst herbivores.

“Technically, I’m more of an omnivore, so it wasn’t so bad. I mean, I ate a lot of meat, and Dusk and Celestia only ate a little bit, most fish or a small amount of shredded chicken at most so I wouldn’t be the only one at the table eating meat, but I can eat just about anything. Gemstones, in fact, are my favourite food, there’s just something so … good about the crunch of a sapphire or diamond under your teeth, and there’s no way to really describe how amazing they taste to a pony, Equinish just doesn’t have the depth to properly explain it.” Spine explained, gazing dreamily at Fluttershy while drooling slightly at the corners of her mouth as the young drake began to describe her dietary needs. “Nothing else comes even close to the flavour of a gem, no cut of meat, no type of fruit or vegetable, no dish that’s ever graced Celestia’s table tastes half as good as a nice, raw gem.”

“We think it has something to do with the way the draconis fundamentum works, the organ that takes the magical energy stored within a dragon’s body and converts it into their flame.” The unicorn, Dusk, interrupted, giving Spine a look of amusement and affection as he handed her a handkerchief to dab away her drool, and Fluttershy found herself staring. She’d never seen such an elegant-looking stallion outside of the fashion magazines Rarity leant her, and he wasn’t scary or cruel like the other ponies from Canterlot that she’d met.

“She eats the gems, and her body converts the minerals into magical energy, which is a lot more efficient than converting biological matter, right? Like the cockatrices eat small bits stone from the Everfree Forest, which is soaked in wild magic, and absorb the magic of the stones to fuel their petrification ability, and the stones themselves serve as gastroliths to help grind up their meal in their gizzards?” The butter-yellow Pegasus rattled off, surprised to find she wasn’t entirely scared of the stallion. He honestly seemed nice, and cared for the dragon’s well-being, at least.

“Wait, are you two saying I’m similar to those chicken-things the Royal Gardeners have to keep stopping from eating all the statues in Princess Celestia’s maze-garden?” Spine growled, shooting dark but playful glances at Fluttershy and her partner, then dug an elbow into the unicorn’s rib-cage, who grunted in pain but gave the drake a sly grin in return.

“Only in your eating habits ~oooof~ but no, it’s not quite the same principle. You metabolize the entire gem, while the cockatrice simply absorbs the magic alone in like a snake sleeping on-top of a sun-warmed rock absorbs the heat. But I surprised you know about mineralogical diets, miss Fluttershy. Most ponies don’t even believe that some magical species derive their necessary dietary intake from inorganic compounds, let alone understand the basics of the process.”

“Oh, well, I live by the edge of the Everfree Forest, so I get to see a lot of Wild Magic in action. And when one of my animals gets into trouble, I have to know what’s causing them issues, so I had to … read up on a lot of … old texts?” Fluttershy found herself stammering at the last at the stunned expression on Dusk’s face. “Is … is that odd?”

“A little? I mean, most Ponies refuse to even go near areas where magic isn’t stable enough to use normally, and apart from a farm or two, most of Ponyville is as far from the Everfree Forest as the zoning laws will allow ponies to build their houses and businesses.” Spine shrugged, her expression somewhere between amazed and hungry.

“Most Unicorns wouldn’t even go anywhere near a zone filled with Wild Magic for fear of their horns overloading from all the excess mana they’d be absorbing. The other Tribes generally stay away as well since most modern technology is mana-based, and spending any amount of time in a Wild Zone tends to fry all but the most insulated gear in a matter of days.” Dusk added, giving Fluttershy an appraising look that made the colour rise to her cheeks and her head duck down low as she tried to hide behind her hair and the cowl of her hoodie. “How close to the edge are you living? One mile? Two?”

Fluttershy forced her nervousness aside with mixed results. Her urge to talk to the dragon, and the kind unicorn with her, warred with her natural inclination to avoid attention and simply wait silently till the other ponies went away. But she had to be brave, or her one chance to befriend a dragon would be lost! “Uh-uhm … right on the edge of the forest. Some of the animals won’t come any closer to the town than that because they’re afraid of the townsponies, and some of the townsponies tend to … to shoot first and ask questions later at anything that isn’t a domesticated animal.”

There was another awkward pause as the unicorn gave her another stunned look, before the drake surged up and hugged Fluttershy, who squealed softly in delight despite the urge to run away that flashed through her at the sudden invasion of her privacy.

“You. Smell. Amazing.” The drake whispered into Fluttershy’s ear, a feathery tickle of hot, spicy air that thrilled Fluttershy and sent surges of excitement racing through her veins.

“Ahem. Spine, what are you doing? If you don’t mind, Miss Fluttershy, would we be allowed to come over and see where you live? I’ve been fascinated with the properties of Wild Magic for some time, and since both Spine and I are likely to be in Ponyville for a good six months, it would really help my research out if I could study Wild Magic in a safe location?” Dusk gave her a warm smile, and a part of Fluttershy’s mind went pink at the sight, her face flushing crimson as she remembered all too well how she’d first come across the pair, and realized there was the very same dragon now pressed up tightly to her breasts … and how the dragon’s talon-tipped hands were pressing so possessively into the small of Fluttershy’s back, pushing the two of them into a very close embrace that Fluttershy was certainly of two minds about escaping.

“Uh … uh … okay?” Fluttershy squeaked, unable to bring herself to say anymore from sheer anxiety, nervousness and the tightness of the dragon’s hug, which she didn’t dare break for fear of offence, and how warm and wonderful the contact between them felt … And how much warmer would she be, if we were skin to scale … AAAAAAAH! I need to go, need to go now, too close, too much, my wings are going to break the wraps I put around them and poof out and she’ll think I’m a pervert! “O-oh, I just remembered, Harry the Bear is duh-due for his chiropractic session in a little while, I ha-have to go and get ready!”

Her excuse didn’t have the desired result, instead Spine simply pulled her closer, the drake’s tail snaking and twining around one of Fluttershy’s legs and one of the drake’s own, her slit-pupiled eyes flickering with competing flashes of green and gold as her muzzle came within a hair’s breath of fluttershy’s own, before a loud cough from Dusk and a shimmer of purple magic surrounded the drake, pulling her limbs and tail away and holding them rigid as the unicorn stallion levitated the drake away from Fluttershy.

“Right, going to have to have a chat with Spine about her hoarding instincts again. Uh, sorry about that, miss Fluttershy.” The stallion gave Fluttershy an apologetic smile, then turned and gave a thunderous look at the drake held paralysed in his magic … who only had eyes for Fluttershy. Wide, adoring, begging eyes.

“O-oh, it’s fine, I was just … I was just a little surprised, but it’s wonderful to meet you, Spine, oh, and you too, Mr Shine. I will, ah, send word to the library when I’m free, if that’s alright?” Fluttershy said in a soft voice, her eyes locked with Spine’s, unwilling to look away or break the connection.

“That would be just fine. I’m, again, sorry about that. Spine normally has her greed impulse well in check, but something must have set her off, maybe the change in her environment or … oh. Oh that’s not a good scenario if it was what we’re doing that’s causing this …” Dusk began, then trailed off into worried mumbling, shooting nervous glances at the dragon who remained oblivious to him and totally focused on Fluttershy.

After a few seconds of wondering if the Stallion was going to keep talking to her, Fluttershy started walking backwards in a slow, steady pace that she’d use around carnivores who showed up at her cottage for healing or aid, keeping her eyes locked with the yearning gaze of the dragon before slipping away at the end of the aisle and rushing for the door, hoping that the bindings on her wings would hold this time, and she wouldn’t pop a full-stretch wingboner in-front of so many ponies.

I’ve so much to prepare, so much to do! Fluttershy couldn’t help but squeal with delight as she rushed home, ignoring the startled looks from the few ponies who managed to notice her presence. I wonder if … I wonder if this is it? The moment when I finally get be friends, maybe more, with a Dragon!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“The fuck was that?” Rarity hissed in a low voice, as much to herself as her fellow bystanders, peering around the end of the aisle along with a half-dozen other mares who had watched the debacle that was Fluttershy’s attempt at seducing Dusk Spine with varying degrees of amusement and outrage.

Fluttershy had had the perfect chance, Lord Dusk Shine had been a complete gentlecolt, Spine el’Celeste had been completely off-guard … and then the ditzy vet had instead somehow managed to seduce the Dragon instead of the Stallion. Watching her friend nearly get grinded to the floor in a very public space had been an experience, possibly voluntarily on Fluttershy’s part no less, but now the Lord and his bodyguard were arguing softly, their postures practically screaming ‘fight’ as they stalked down the aisle together.

The perfect chance, and the perfect outfit for this sort of place, wasted! Rarity seethed, taking a half-step out into the aisle, and found herself wondering exactly what to do next? Certainly, she could go up and try to woo the infamously-uncatchable bachelor, but after that little display, Rarity had no doubt that Lord Dusk Shine would be most unreceptive, and first encounters were so important to romance, since a pony often lived and died on the dating scene depending upon how they were received by their desired partner. Perhaps it would be best to retreat for now, and try again later in the day?

It certainly wouldn’t do to appear too eager, or too crass (perish the thought!) in her pursuit, and it was painfully obvious that Lord Dusk Shine had other matters to deal with right now, his bodyguard’s overly-affectionate greeting of the town hermit for staters! Rarity couldn’t risk coming across as desperate or easy, yet if she left her pursuit too long, he might flee back to Canterlot without her, or some tramp of a mare might manage to get a leg over before she did, and Rarity did not do sloppy seconds!

And yet, if she played her cards right, she could play the peace-maker, urge the drake to go and apologise to Fluttershy and leave herself at Lord Dusk Shine’s side, to act as his guide around the store and maybe Ponyville itself, leave her mark on him, as it were, in the public eye, that she was laying claim to the new stallion in town, and that the other mares had better stay out of her way!

Ultimately, Rarity chose to retreat and try again at a later point, noting how the pair avoided contact with others or tried to keep their contact as short as politeness allowed, and stalked her way to the entrance, chewing on a thumb-nail to keep herself distracted from being decidedly unladylike on the way out. Still, the game remains afoot, and Lord Dusk Shine is obviously displeased with his bodyguard. Perhaps dear Fluttershy, in her own hamfisted way, has given me the perfect opening to winning the heart of Lord Dusk Shine!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Spine, seriously, what in Tartarus was that all about?” Dusk hissed as the two, hunched over the trolley’s handlebar, pushed on with their shopping, Spine having to do so one-handed as the other held Dusk’s handkerchief to her nose to block the blood-nose she’d gotten from close-contact with the strange mare called Fluttershy.

“I … I dunno. But I think I’m a lesbian now.” The Drake muttered dreamily, a goofy smile still plastered across her face.

“After what you did to me less than an hour ago, I’d say that’s a definitive no to you being a lesbian, Spine. Bisexual, maybe, but not a lesbian.” The unicorn grunted and gave his … lover? Girlfriend? Assistant-with-benefits? Gah, why do relationships have to be so complicated? A gentle elbow to the ribs that did nothing to wipe the love-struck expression off her face. “As soon as we get some privacy, I’m running a full-spectrum toxicology spell on you, there’s no way your control over your hoarding instincts is that weak, and your nose was kinda twitching back when that Fluttershy character got close to you.”

“Oh, I was happy to be close to her. Those were definitely F-Cups, and she was sooooo soft …” Spine mumbled, unhelpfully filling Dusk’s minds with rather lewd images of what Spine would have done to the mare, right on the floor of the supermarket, if Dusk hadn’t stopped things when he did.

“It could have been powdered Dragonweed, or maybe some sort of alchemical perfume containing … aaand you’re not listening to me.” The unicorn sighed and re-adjusted the handkerchief to catch the trickle of blood coming from the love-struck drake’s nostrils. “Seriously, I think you’ve been poisoned here, Spine!”

“Do you mind if we have an open relationship, Dusk? ‘Cause I really wanna open up that Fluttershy mare, like, way open.”

“Oh my Faust, you nearly crippled me and you’re still wanting more, from a mare now?”

“So soooooooooft …”

“…” Dusk gave a weary sigh and hoped the vial of dragon’s fire he’d stashed in the shielded portion of his suitcase was still intact, since he now had a very serious letter to send to Princess Celestia, involving her adoptive, draconic daughter who had apparently turned into a swinging, aggressively bisexual cuddle-fiend after one meeting with a strange, shy mare. Somehow, I just know this is going to come back to bite me on the plot sooner or later. I just hope that Spine either snaps out of this really quick, or the other mare really is as keen on dragons as she implied, because if Fluttershy isn’t, this is just going to end in tears for everyone.

Chapter 11: Consistent incoherency

Chapter 11:

Celestia enjoyed the evening, the subtle, slow shift from bright, warm colors in the sky to soft, cool blues, purples and blacks, the way the sun disappeared over the horizon and the moon would slowly creep over the other side to bathe the world in soft, silvery light.

She considered it a point of pride to make the coming of night to be a thing of beauty, and had taken great pains to ensure that, with the advent of cheaper forms of magical light, and then the invention of turning magical energy into electricity, Canterlot and the other larger cities boasted a potent and prolific night-life scene, with Equestria’s citizens encouraged to party long into the night and many festivals and musical events held in the evening. The smaller towns were not quite as boisterous after moonrise, but then they didn’t have the bulk of population necessary to sustain such things. Of course, the Sisterhood had tried at first to claim it was because Celestia abhorred drinking, riotous merriment and lewd endeavours, and thus wished for it to occur after her ‘duties’ were done for the day, but like their ideology in so many ways, the con-artists, delusional egomaniacs and spiteful misandrists who ran the cult were so very wrong about her reasoning, and the ponies of Equestria were hardly the sort to turn down the opportunity to sing, dance and enjoy themselves, so that particular lie from the Sisterhood quickly fell by the wayside except for a few diehards on the fringe of the cult when it failed to help the Sisterhood gain any form of political or social traction.

Less than six months. Celestia thought to herself, sadness mingling with regret and excitement. Less than half a year before you return, my darling, and we finally put an end to this. If I win, will you be willing to stay by my side, will you even be able to listen to my apologies or will your rage drive you to flee from Equestria for good? Or will you banish me this time, and in your madness will you be able to recognise what I have spent the last thousand years turning Equestria into, just for you, or will you annihilate it all in favour of your ‘Night Eternal’, and doom our world to a long, slow, cold decay in endless darkness?

Turning around, Celestia cast a sad glance to a chest the size of a medium-sized dog, made of age-darkened wood and bound with silvery-hued steel, the old, arcane symbol of the moon and the stars carved into every flat surface the crafter could find. Inside, one very new and important letter sat atop scores of scrolls and journals, along with several ancient knick-knacks that modern ponies would be puzzled over, but to Celestia had great emotional attachment to … and she hoped her sibling still did.

Win or lose, the chest must go to my sibling, and at least my Captain and his officer core are under strict orders that, in the event of my defeat, the chest is to be delivered to the victor, untouched and unharmed. My thoughts, dreams and fears for over a thousand years, the toys we played with as children, the tokens of friends who passed on and left fond well-wishes in their wills to you, even after the Moonfall, all of it contained in such a humble container. Celestia found herself walking over to the chest, trailing a shaking finger-tip over the proud crescent moon symbol engraved into steel barding of the chest. It would hardly be the most profound gift she could give, but if her sibling was still in the grips of the furious madness that Celestia had encountered at their last meeting, and had to battle against, over a thousand years ago, then it could very well be all that Celestia could leave to her victorious sibling should the battle take a turn for the worse and Celestia fall in battle, or be banished to the sun for a millennia in turn. May the contents of this chest ease your mind, if only a little, should you prove victorious in the coming meeting and regain your sanity sometime in the future.

Hearing a faint, high-pitched noise, Celestia turned her attention to the palace grounds, where Shining Armor, wrapped in several layers of barrier-shields, was running for his life and screaming like a bitch, with a deranged-looking Cadence flying after him with what looked like fluffy handcuffs flopping around in one hand and a bucket of unmentionable devices that should never see the light of day in the other.

And that’s another thing I need to deal with. Making sure my … counterpart … does no damage to Cadence, or vice versa. Shining Armor is quite the catch, and I dare not risk a conflict between the Moon and Love over the affections of a Stallion who wants neither of them. Forget the country falling into anarchy and the world being locked in eternal night, a world without Love would be a hell from which even the most virulent of nightmares would seem a blessed relief, and a world without the Moon would spin itself into strange new orbits that would flood the coastlines and cause immense ecological disasters, and that’s assuming the moon wouldn’t fall from the sky and simply wipe out all life on the planet from the force of the impact. Sighing and idly entertaining the thought of turning Cadence into a statue called ‘The Need For A Cold Shower’ and dumping it in a museum filled with crusty old relics, visited by even crustier old ponies, for a century or two to teach her ‘niece’ the value of consent, Celestia watched as Cadence ‘caught’ her beau, only for the outer-most barrier to ripple and then explode, flinging the demented pink Alicorn backwards like some sort of cartoon character, complete with splayed limbs and a curiously drawn-out ‘BBBBBBHHHHHUUUUUUUUTTTTTTT EEEEEEEYYYYYYYEEEEEEE LUUUUUUHHHVVVEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEE!’ shout of dismay, and Shining Armor appeared to be propelled forwards in the opposite direction at great speed, disappearing into a darkened doorway that opened up onto the grounds, still shrieking in a blind panic. Although if Cadence continues her unwanted pursuit in such fashion, she might very well turn Shining Armor’s tastes to the point he would welcome the affections of my sibling.

That particular line of thought conjured mental images that made Celestia’s hair stand on end, and she quickly changed her thoughts to topics less likely to leave her seeking the aid of a Royal Distillery to cleanse her mind of all sentience.

But Ponyville … I’d merely assumed it would grow into a farming community large enough to attract my sibling’s attention when they first returned to the mortal world, but now that it has become a small town, I am gravely concerned what may happen to the people who live there. And Dusk’s reports do not exactly instil me with confidence that the country will keep running smoothly should I be removed from power. The Solar Princess sighed and turned away, stalking back to her desk where her faithful student’s report sat, the sole scroll not adorned with fanciful and costly filigree or ornamental designs in the borders, the sole important document amidst a mountain of false good-will and just-shy-of-blatant bribery offers. If Ponyville has been so starved of funds for even basic necessities such as public schools and civil servants, then what other towns are likewise suffering similarly? And why has nobody ever brought this up before? There must be some group that is purposefully editing the reports before they reach somebody high enough up the chain to alert someone about the funds being diverted.

And that raised even more troubling concerns. What if the graft was not merely a collective of low-level bureaucrats shuffling numbers and altering reports to keep their little schemes quiet, but rather higher-placed ones who had the leverage to keep such damming evidence secret, even from Celestia herself? She’d known there would be corruption, one did not have a nation without some form of corruption or graft in play, the nature of mortals all but assured its existence, but the prospect that such corruption, on such a scale, could exist after she’d spent hundreds of years trying to make Equestria everything her sibling had hoped it would be …

A knock on the door distracted Celestia from her depressing thoughts, as a maid came in, pulling a tray behind her, the contents beneath a domed, platinum cover marked with thick, ornate handles and decorations of gilt and semi-precious gems, followed by a train of other maids pulling identical carts.

Oh, right, lunch. A kingdom did not run well when it's all-powerful ruler tried to plot the course to take on an empty stomach and low blood-sugar levels. The maids were, as always, polite, efficient and absolutely adorable in their outfits, but as per Celestia’s terms of employment, they were pure professionals while on the clock, no matter how the guards and courtiers might have wheedled and pleaded and postured for a taste of that prench maid fantasy.

Not only did Celestia not want competition for her Royal Guards’ attention, either while they were on duty and supposed to be protecting the city or busy helping Celestia scratch the itch that her constant in-heat state produced, but she had made it a point of pride that any pony who had come from hard lives or troubled backgrounds could come to her and be given the training and education needed to succeed in the world, given to them as part of their conditions of employment. Training, education and most importantly, confidence in themselves and their own worth.

If those same maids might perhaps find themselves a beau amongst the stoic guards courtesy of that training and those outfits, and would then retire to civilian life with the training and qualifications to become any sort of tradesperson or specialist with a glowing recommendation from the Princess herself after being honourably discharged from service … well then, wasn’t that just a happy little coincidence?

And that the stallions, always outnumbered and outvoted in society by the more numerous mares, might also gain access to the training to become a talented butler, accountant, chef or even Royal Guard, who might likewise find themselves at the center of attention of mares who would adhere to Celestia’s views on stallions, and not the oft-toxic attitude of those who followed the Sisterhood’s teachings, was certainly a win for all parties involved.

Trays of steamed, boiled, roasted and fried delicacies were revealed, and Celestia repressed her hunger and the urge to steam great sloppy handfuls of the treats into her face by thanking each of the maids and offering them a chance to share a meal with Celestia. Several of the younger ones were obviously tempted, staring at her with stars in their eyes, while the older ones, well acquainted with their Princess’s habits, gave her knowing grins or politely declined, dragging their less-disciplined fellows out of Celestia’s presence, and with a quick flicker of her magic, Celestia closed the doors silently, locked them, pulled the blinds across and a second flicker of her magic activated wardings and runes that would make her office all but impregnable to anything short of a small mountain being dropped directly on-top of it.

Seating herself and wiping a trace of drool from the corner of her mouth, Celestia levitated the first tray’s worth of food onto her table, pushing piles of paperwork out of the way and settling them onto a nearby couch before turning her attention to the heaped pile of roasted vegetables, slathered with butter and spices, exotic sauces and molten cheese, and pulled open a drawer in her table.

A pair of utensils, a gargantuan fork and an equally massive knife, floated out of the drawer and into her hands, followed swiftly by a large square of cloth that was covered in elegant emblems of suns that tucked a corner of itself into the neck of Celestia’s garments and plastered itself down her chest.

For now, the troubles of the world could wait. Celestia had a date with lunch to deal with, and unless something truly dire happened in the next hour or so, the literal army of extremely well-paid, well-trained and hopefully competent individuals she surrounded herself with could handle it. So confident was Celestia that she almost missed the tingle in her horn as a scroll appeared in a burst of dragonfire, nearly ruining itself by attempting to land in a large bowl of cauliflower and cheese before Celestia’s hand shot out and saved it from it’s cheesy fate.

“Really …” The Solar Princess sighed, staring at the scroll in annoyance. While the ribbon wrapped around the scroll was done in a messy fashion unbecoming of her favourite student, it wasn’t marked with any of the coded symbols she’s taught Dusk Shine to denote a message of urgency, and she was technically on her lunch-break … “Sod it, I’ll read and eat at the same time. Surely it can’t be any worse than the scroll he sent me earlier today.”

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Shining Armor, breathing heavily and lathered in sweat, leaned heavily against the door-frame, hoping that Cadence couldn’t track him by smell as the would-be Captain of the Royal Guard limped his way up to Celestia’s quarters, hoping to get a word in about her ‘niece’s’ behaviour, when the whole castle shook with the force of a most undignified burst of laughter.

It had snorting. It had giggling. It had guffawing and howling laughter. It had what sounded like choking and the sound of somepony’s fist pounding on a solid surface that could have been the floor or walls, since no earthly wooden surface could have survived an impact of such magnitude repeatedly.

And then an eerie silence, before another noise shook the castle, this time causing trickles of dust to come cascading down from the ceiling from the sound of Princess Celestia bellowing “What skanky sorcery did she use on my little girl?!”

Deciding he’d had more than his recommended daily dosage of insane goddesses, Shining turned around and began limping as fast as he could in the opposite direction, hoping to find a broom-closet or similar hidey-hole to secure himself in until such time as Cadence got bored of chasing him around and suffering the effects of his paralysis barriers, or his shift finished and he could go home to his parents’ house to sleep for the evening, secure in the knowledge that not even Cadence would dare get on the bad side of Twilight Velvet and Princess Celestia.

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Days passed in frantic fashion, with Dusk rushing between his duties helping Mayor Mare with the agonizingly slow process of subtly prepping Ponyville for the Summer Sun Festival without alerting anybody to what was actually going on, aiding Cherilee with lesson-plans for her students and a few short walk-ins on the tail-ends of her lessons to try and introduce himself to the young ponies without overwhelming or aggravating them with his presence, and trying to figure out why Spine had had a sudden burst of lesbianism with a mare who, according to the gossip he’d gained from Mayor Mare, was not only notoriously shy and reclusive, but had a unique gift for dealing with wild creatures and apparently monsters, being able to understand and even speak to them, according to the rumours.

And then there was Spine herself, who had been shipped back to Canterlot courtesy of a express chariot from Canterlot in the dead of night after the incident itself, with the still-pining Spine having to be bundled into the back by force, and was then returned via the train the next afternoon, looking considerably sheepish and wearing a brand-new necklace of gold with an simple pendant bearing a very large, and obviously enchanted, chunk of Sunstone that could probably have paid for Ponyville’s misplaced funds on the spot.

Note to self: Don’t even make Spine upset enough she ever goes running back to her mother. Whatever fondness for me the Princess might have pales beside the unending rage of a parent who thinks their beloved child has been hurt, and this parent could literally throw me into the sun. Dusk thought morosely as he tore through latest pile of paperwork like a stallion possessed. He’d made plans to spend the afternoon with Cherilee to begin cautiously seeing who amongst her students needed the most urgent tutoring, and he’d promised to let Spine come along and spend some time with her friend, one Sweetie Belle, who apparently also needed lessons in magic, given that Cherilee, being an earth pony, had no real way of teaching to her students.

Forms to cover insurance, forms to requisition supplies necessary to expand Ponyville’s sewage system, backup generators to handle the increased demand for power, equipment to convert the wild magic of the Everfree Forest into energy to fuel said backup generators, the pile felt like it was growing bigger rather than smaller as the day progressed, but Dusk knew that was simply fatigue and frustration playing tricks on his mind. Ever since that day he encountered Fluttershy, Dusk’s mind had gone into a spin trying to figure out how one random Pegasus had managed to seduce Spine simply by standing next to her.

Dragons are supposed to be almost entirely immune to magic on a biological scale, so perhaps it’s me? I do have a unique ability to affect Spine with my magic, due to my hatching her and making her grow to adult size immediately afterwards. And the … sex stuff. Maybe our constant contact is somehow weakening Spine’s normal defences against magic? Dusk stopped his scribbling to grab a quick sip of his rapidly-cooling coffee and let his mind wander off topic before he set fire to the latest form before him purely on principle. But a Pegasus shouldn’t be able to have access to any kind of magic, let alone magic that resonates on the same frequency as my own. And even if, by some bizarre miracle, she did have magic, possessing magic along the same frequency should have caused us to suffer significant feedback from each other’s mere proximity if she was using magic on or near me.

So that leaves some sort of alchemical method. Perfume, perhaps? I didn’t smell much of anything, but perhaps she was waiting until we entered a place with many strong scents to mask whatever she was wearing? The Barnyard Bargain Store is heavily scented with cleaning products, the deodorants and perfumes of the ponies inside it and the ozone scent of mana-preserved food. The lanky unicorn stallion tapped his pen against his lips in thought, scowling as new thoughts bubbled up in his mind. If she did wait until we entered the Barnyard Bargain Store, then it is entirely possible she either has a personal agenda that needs her to get close to Spine, which is disturbing for a variety of reasons, or she was hired to stalk us by the Nobles of the court to try and cause a scene and trouble for the Princess. Having her adopted daughter rampaging through a quaint little village, especially in a place packed with witnesses, would hurt Celestia’s image and probably cause all kinds of issues with the close-minded types trying to get non-ponies kicked out of Canterlot and Equestria.

None of the options before him filled Dusk with any sense of comfort or relief. Either this ‘Fluttershy’ was a dangerous agent of the nobility of Canterlot in their unending dance of intrigue and espionage against the Princess for control of the country, or she was a rogue element who was after Spine for some reason, and was either planning on engaging Dusk’s assistant/pseudo-sister-figure/girlfriend in some serious snuggling, or had far less carnal reasons for her actions.

And that’s the big old elephant in the room. Am I more upset that somepony might be trying to hurt Spine, or am I upset about them trying to take Spine away from me? I prattle on a lot about the dangers of a relationship built around co-dependence, but here we are, Spine’s immediately made a new friend and I … am stuck rubber-stamping paperwork any half-trained teenager could do as a part-time job because the Princess tricked and guilted me into it.

That felt even less comforting than the prospect that Fluttershy was some sort of deep-cover agent from Canterlot. Apart from Spine and maybe the Princess at a stretch, Dusk didn’t have anyone he could just talk to. Hard-learned lessons had taught Dusk that everyone in Canterlot wanted something from him, and it wasn’t friendship.

To use him as a stepping-stone to get closer to the Princess. To appropriate Dusk’s fame to boost their own social status. To steal the secrets of magic Dusk had uncovered or created. To use him to sate their own lust. The list was endless, and Dusk had to admit he wasn’t exactly good at talking to Ponies, conversation simply didn’t come easily to him, and when he did speak, Dusk often tried to deflect the topic away from himself as a pre-emptive defence against being betrayed or used.

Faust knew, he’d gotten enough practice in Canterlot …

And sitting here, stewing in my own juices, isn’t going to do much to fix that! Time to take a break, go around town and try to talk to some of the other stallions, maybe make some connections. Dusk grinned to himself at the prospect. Maybe he’d find some folks who enjoyed Ogres and Oubliettes, or maybe even …

“Lord Dusk Shine! Lord Dusk Shine!” Mayor Mare came bustling into the room with a tottering armload of papers and a manic grin on her face. “Princess Celestia approved additional funding for the town for the next decade! And a personal letter of apology about the way we’ve been treated!”

“O-oh, that’s great, but I …” Dusk began, before the mare carried on over the top of his polite protest, lost in her own joy.

“WE HAVE FUN-DING! And since there seems to be a pony or group of ponies diverting all of our funding from the past few years, the Princess has requested you go over all of the forms yourself to make sure there’s no chance of the perpetrators escaping justice!” The middle-aged mare chortled, almost jiggling in place from excitement and utterly oblivious to the look of despair on Dusk’s face.

“… Well then, the sooner I get this done, the better, huh?” The unicorn stallion sighed and covered his face with a hand to hide his frustration as Mayor mare dumped the entire stack on his desk, went out of the room … and shuffled back in with an even larger stack, followed by a pair of heavily-sweating Royal Guards carrying over-stuffed boxes of more of the same.

I hope Ponyville is treating Spine well. And vice versa.

Chapter 12: Poles, Psychopaths and Premonitions

CHAPTER 12

Not the worst thing I’ve done for a meal, but this is still humiliating. Chrysalis thought to herself as her adopted form, white-coated and pink-maned, twirled and shimmied up and down a lurid-red pole in an outfit that was little more than strategically-placed latex-black band-aids, all the while a room full of ponies, mostly mares, threw shiny gold and silver bits at her, whistling and cheering.

Lust, while not nearly as nutritious as Love, still helped Chrysalis from having to burn through her stores of energy, and taking up the role of a ‘exotic dancer’ was literally not the worst thing Chrysalis had done during her experiments about infiltrating Pony society. But the constant offers to ‘step around back’ or requests for ‘private sessions’ annoyed her to no end. She’d charmed the manager and her co-workers into ambivalence, just enough magical influence to make her life easier but not enough mental manipulation that her ‘hosts’ would be acting too out of character, and her contract clearly stated she danced, stripped, served drinks and not one damn thing more.

And still the offers came in by the bucket-load. She’d only been ‘performing’ for two days now, but the reaction to her chosen form had been … excessive, to say the least!

Not that I’ll be doing this for longer than a month, two at most. The money is good and I want to get a decent nest-egg to live off of, considering everyone I talk to tells me that Canterlot is ridiculously expensive to live in, but the longer I do this, the greater the chance somebody will try to attack me, and once the Guards get involved, especially if they start investigating who ‘Pearl Chaser’ really is, then I am sunk. Chrysalis thought to herself as she inverted herself around the pole and began spinning around the hard pole with her legs pointed straight out to the sides and her breasts wrapped around the pole … and the crowd went wild as Chrysalis spun around the pole in her new position, a shower of golden coins and a disturbing amount of folded up pieces of paper landing on the floor under the pole. I’ll also need to make sure I’ve memorized the route the cargo-trains take to make it to Canterlot, since I’ll need to get off just before we hit the station, and the guards who will be inspecting the cargo, but I will also need to be able to be close enough to Canterlot that I can safely make it to the main entrances and blend in with the crowd.

Two days of flying nearly non-stop across the Badlands, avoiding the villages and mining towns she’s infiltrated previously to avoid giving any would-be assassins from the Hive an easy time of tracking her down. Though the trip had her burning through a ridiculous amount of Love energy to stay awake and move at the fastest pace her wings could manage, Chrysalis was certain the pace was much faster than any of her sisters’ favourite thugs would have risked mimicking given how hard Love energy was to procure back at the Hive, and her mother’s guards never left the Hive, always on hand to protect the increasingly paranoid old crone from threats both real and imagined.

A full day had been sacrificed to scouting out the small border-town and its inhabitants and then crafting the persona of ‘Pearl Shiner’ as a young mare out on the road to find a place in life and in need of bits after an encounter with con-artists had ended with her losing everything but the clothes she wore … including all forms of identification.

And now this. Just pour on the charm, shake my ass, get the bits and get the hell out of this town before somebody tries to play the Beast with Two Backs with me. Chrysalis repressed the urge to sigh as her dance around the pole became more of a sensual, slinking spin around the pole that doubled the amount of bits being thrown at her feet and caused one of the bouncers to have to bull her way through the crowd and pull a squealing mare back by the hair as the ‘adoring fan’ rushed the stage from a shadowed corner at the back of the strip-club. The DJ raised a blue-furred eyebrow and made a ‘cut’ motion with her free hand, and the deep, thrumming music faded to the usual ‘end of show’ theme song, much to the crowd’s dismay, judging from the boos and complaints.

“And that was Pearl Shiner, ladies and gentlecolts! Give it up, and get yourself some fresh drinks as we get ready for our next entertainer!” The DJ blared at the crowd, trying to overcome the crowd’s displeasure as ‘Pearl Shiner’ disengaged from the pole, bowed deeply to the audience and nodded to the DJ in thanks, while the stage-lights dimmed and the cleaners came hustling up onto the stage and began sweeping the money up as the crowd was gently, or in a few cases firmly, guided to the bar as the cleaners could get to work on the necessary but unseemly task of cleaning the stage of bits, proposition-notes and the occasional piece of moist underwear an over-enthusiastic fan would pitch onto the platform..

A good third of the bits thrown onto the stage would go directly into Chrysalis’s pocket in addition to her ‘wage’, while a third would go into the manager’s pocket to help pay for expenses, and the remaining third would go into a ‘general pool’ of bits that paid out to all the other employees at the end of the month. A rather cunning bit of social engineering from the otherwise unassuming manager, if Chrysalis was being honest, since if all the ‘exotic dancers’ worked hard, then they’d all take a decent chunk of additional money home at the end of the week, and the manager would be able to push the business much further into the black, but if only a handful of dancers were bringing in the bits, then the others could at the very least keep enough money coming in to keep the lights on and the pantry stocked, and it became clear who the real earners in the place were.

And of course, that in-turn motivated the ‘slackers’ to pick up the pace for fear of losing their jobs, and it put the performers who were bringing in the bits on a bit of a pedestal and encouraged everybody to work together to bring up the skills of those who under-performed. That, or those who simply couldn’t keep up the pace or lacked the talent got given duties outside of ‘exotic’ dancing, or were simply asked to leave.

“Faust as my witness, you are either the best performer we’ve ever had, or you’re using some sort of Zebrican witch-craft on my patrons.” Low Craft, the manager and owner of the Gentle Hearts Club, whistled as Chrysalis/Pearl Shiner slipped around the curtains at the end of the stage and into the relative privacy of the staging area.

“I think they just like a Celestia look-alike.” One of the other performers, a tall, lithe Pegasus whose extremely-tight underwear left little to the imagination, said with a great deal of mirth, flicking a finger out to poke at ‘Pearl Shiner’s’ long, candy-pink hair. “If you were a Pegasus, we’d slap a fake horn on your head and have to hire a dozen extra bouncers to keep your groupies in-line.”

“No way. Trying to pull off those stunts around the pole with wings? I’d be in all kinds of trouble with my balance, and I don’t even want to think about the nightmare of keeping all those feathers clean while I’m on the road.” Chrysalis replied in as friendly a tone as she could muster. Pecker, as he was affectionately known to the staff of Gentle Hearts, gave no indication of aggression that the Changeling Queen could read from his body-posture or tone of voice, but there was … something … in his aura, in the spectrum of emotional energy only Changelings could see, that made her skin crawl.

There was something dark in his psyche, something hateful and jealous of others, something that adored being the center of attention, and right now Chrysalis in her ‘Pearl Shiner’ persona was the biggest threat to that in the Club. Ever since she’d started at this job, she’d watched that dark nugget of mental bile growing and spreading dark veins across the stallion’s aura, and realizing she’d unwittingly set up a temporary home with a full-blown narcissistic psychopath-in-waiting hadn’t done much for Chrysalis’s peace of mind.

“Besides, the wing-and-pole routine is your speciality. No way am I going to even think about moving in on that.” Chrysalis added, slapping Pecker lightly on the upper forearm and tried to repress the urge to shudder and run away from the Pegasus as the dark cancer in his aura pulsed hatefully in her direction. Go away. Go aw-aaaaaaaay. I don’t want anything to do with somebody whose aura reads like a gory b-grade slasher flick!

“Speaking of specialities, Pecker, finish your warm-ups and give the rubes a hell of a show, I don’t want the Lonely Hearts Club to start coming across as a lesbian dive. Pearl, I need you to come with me, some of the low-earners need a pointer on how to ride the pole, and you’re all warmed up from your set.”Thank you, Low Craft, for saving me! Chrysalis thought as the small, softly-spoken earth-pony stallion grabbed Chrysalis by the shoulder and gently guided her away from the staging area, where Pecker had already turned his attention to the thick red-velvet drapes that masked the staging area from the stage itself, grinning broadly and stretching sensuously, his already tightly-bound loins swelling in anticipation. Pecker truly got as much out of his shows as the audience did, and then some.

“Thanks, boss, I’m … not sure that Pecker’s taking my shows too well.” Chrysalis whispered once they rounded the corner and headed down the corridor to the group’s changing room, only for the Gentle Hearts Club’s manager to give her a loaded look.

“Yeah, you’re not the only one who noticed our resident show-boat doesn’t take too kindly to competition for the top billing. Look, Pearl, I get you’re trying to show that you’re worth the room and board, but word to the wise from an old hand at this business? Tone down your act, save yourself the grief and do not stand out too much. I know you said you’re all the way from Californeigha, but this is the Badlands.” The smaller stallion said in a low, harsh voice that was very different from the friendly ‘game’ voice he used most of the time. “We might be on Princess Celestia’s side of the border, but there’s a lot of nasty hombres out here who take notice of hot little commodities like you, and the Royal Guards out here weren’t assigned to border-duty because they were the cream of the crop, if you get my meaning …”

Knowing that my mother’s Hive has held on this long by kidnapping small groups from the borders to feed on, yes, I’m well aware … But her persona of Pearl Shiner was a well-meaning but air-headed young mare who’d gotten tricked, robbed and dumped on the border, and that meant she had to play the part to keep her cover and prevent her ‘hosts’ from breaking the low-level charms she’d woven into their surface thoughts to make her insertion into their lives something to take at face value.

“I … I understand. It’s just I need to get a lot of bits back under my belt to get back to Canterlot. I’ve got family there who can put me up for a few days while my parents can wire me the funds to get back to Californeigha, and since I … I can’t really go to the Royal Guards with what happened …”

Sighing, Low Craft nodded and released his grip on Chrysalis’s disguised shoulder. The Changeling Queen felt bad about how strongly the poor stallion emotions screamed he had to protect ‘Pearl Shiner’. He was a good, honest sort of being, despite the career he worked in, and his protective instincts towards his staff was motivated as much by friendship and a familial-kind of love as by the necessity of keeping the business from turning into a dysfunctional mess and keeping the books in the black.

“It’s not like I don’t understand, sweet-heart. It’s a bit hard to make those bone-heads realize that anyone can slip you roofies without your consent, and the last thing anybody needs is to have a case of drug-use on their legal records, especially when they’re like you and trying to get into a decent college.” The stallion snorted with laughter, bitterly, as they got closer to the changing room, where Chrysalis could hear laughter and good-natured bickering coming from under the thick, oak door, where another bouncer, one of the impossibly burly minotaurs this time, stood guard with arms crossed and a professional scowl across her face. “But Pearl, I used to work the floor and ride the pole, same as most everybody here. And just like you, I put my heart and soul into it, went over and above what was expected of me. It wasn’t the Gentle Heart Club, but it was another strip-club, and the boss didn’t take as much care of her staff as I do mine.”

“I don’t …” Chrysalis began, before Low Craft grabbed his own pant’s leg and pulled, lifting the immaculately-pressed slacks up and exposing an elegantly-crafted metal-and-plastic brace around his right leg. She had never noticed Low Craft limping, so despite the slender appearance of the brace, it obviously held enough strength to support a full-grown, if smaller than average, Stallion’s leg.

“The Royal Guards didn’t do much for me, either. A mare assaulting a stallion? Surely it must have been in self-defence, despite the fact she had a good two foot and a hundred pounds on me, despite the fact I had dozens of witnesses in my co-workers and patrons, despite the fact the mare in question had been booked for unlicensed prostitution and possession of illegal narcotics over a dozen times by those same Royal Guards. Surely it was not because she was a jealous bitch, hopped up on mescaline, hard liquor and loco-weed, who decided to eliminate her biggest rival by smashing every bone in my leg between the hip and the ankle with a lead pipe as I was leaving the club to go home after the end of my shift.” Low Craft growled, the hand gripped his pant-leg clenching so tightly his knuckles turned white. “I only just barely avoided getting an sexual assault charge slapped on me because those uniformed idiots could only see the giant tits being shoved in their faces by a mare who made a career out of lying through her teeth and shaking her ass when that didn’t work, and the boss just wanted the trouble to go away so she could get back to making money, so anybody who stood up to give evidence found themselves jobless the next day, which really didn’t help proving my innocence. The truth only came to light when one of Princess Celestia’s Justicars came out this way to investigate complaints of corruption amongst the Royal Guards and happened to overhear what had happened to me. But even today, there’s a good many ponies in this town who still think I tried to rape that rabid bitch and got my comeuppance in the form of a mangled leg.”

“So I make it a point to step up when I see trouble brewing for my people, and you’ve been in town less than two days and there’s a goddamn hurricane forming over you, Pearl. So please, I don’t care how eager you are to get to Canterlot, how much you want to go home, but you will keep your head down, stop putting on quite such a good show and stop drawing such unwanted attention to yourself, and the rest of my staff, or I will cut you loose faster than you can say ‘goodbye’.” The smaller Unicorn’s hand shot out and grabbed Chrysalis’s wrist, spinning the startled Changeling Queen around as Low Craft glared right into her eyes. “Am. I. Clear?”

Chrysalis gulped, no longer needing to force the impression she was some naive young filly, because the sheer force of Low Craft’s emotions, a whirling maelstrom of regret, anger and most importantly, fear, swirled around her like a miasma of spiritual sickness. Low Craft meant every word …

“I got it.” ‘Pearl Shiner’ said in a small, meek voice, and the small owner of the strip club gave her a searching look, sighed, nodded to himself and plastered on his warm, welcoming smile once more, and the minotaur bouncer pushed open the door to the changing room.

“Great. Then, before you cool down too much, let’s get you in there and show the rest of our family how you do that voodoo that you do so well.”

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“Spine, when I said it was fine for you to go hang out with your new friend, I didn’t mean till nearly ten at night!” Dusk looked at the clock, then back at the sheepish-looking drake, and groaned loudly before covering his face with his hand. “I have no way of knowing where you are, who you were with or what you were doing, and we’ve only been in Ponyville a week! We still don’t know who we can really trust in this town, and the only way I can contact you is via a sending spell, and if you’re unconscious or …”

“Whoa there, this isn’t Canterlot, nobody’s going to kidnap me to ransom back to the Princess! That only happened once, and mom pretty much levelled a city block trying to find me when the Royal Guard managed to figure out where I was.” Spine raised both hands to stop Dusk’s paranoid ranting. “Look, I get we should be concerned being this far from Canterlot and all those Royal Guards who used to protect us, and I get this town has it’s … issues …”

“I hear a ‘but’ coming up.” The unicorn growled, but leaned back from Spine and removed the palm from his face, forcing his arms to hang loosely, calmly, by his sides.

“But the ponies here are really nice. Even that blonde amazon who I clotheslined a few days back. Sweetie Belle introduced me to her friends, Applebloom and Scootaloo, and we spent most of the day skinny-dipping in a pond on Applebloom’s farm … or Applejack’s farm … or maybe it’s Big Mac’s farm. Whatever, it’s the Apple orchard that’s way bigger than the campus, and I’ve never had so much fun just swimming or climbing trees, or had friends like these before!” Spine nearly vibrated with excitement as she spoke, and Dusk found it impossible to remain annoyed at the young drake for staying out well past her curfew in the face of such joy.

“Well, if you’re in the company of Applejack, then I suppose its fine. I can’t see that mare allowing anything shady to happen, and I’m assuming her … sister? Applebloom, is of a similar nature?”

“Kinda? She’s a real straight-shooter, if that’s what you mean, but Applebloom’s real shy and doesn’t speak much unless you say something about farming or her family, then she won’t shut up until one of the other girls starts talking about something else. Or you bring up pears. She’s terrified of pears for some reason.” Spine shrugged as she and Dusk moved away from the entrance to the library and up the stairs to the private quarters. “Scootaloo is the dangerous one, if you catch my drift. Nothing is impossible, anything that might make her cutie mark show up is to be pursued full-throttle, that kind of mindset. Her wings are … stunted, I guess? I didn’t ask because we don’t really spend much time around teenage Pegasus, so for all I know wings of that size are normal for a filly her age? She seems kind of tetchy about flying and the other girls kept elbowing me when I started to ask why she had to climb up the trees, rather than flying.”

“Well, Sweetie Belle seems to be rather grounded for her age, and the way you describe the other two makes them seem … endearing, at the very least. And so long as Applejack or this ‘Big Mac’ fellow know where you all are, I don’t mind if you stay out past your curfew.” The purple mage said in defeat, his horn flickering with magic as he remotely teased the heating runes on the library’s hot-water tank, located in the library’s basement, into activity. “The shower should be ready to provide a good long, hot soak in a minute or two, so grab yourself some warm clothes, and I’ll get some supper prepared for you.”

“Thanks.” Spine replied, smiling and yawning, and for a moment Dusk was struck by an overwhelming surge of affection for his ‘assistant’, and leaned over to give her a hug, the Drake freezing for a second in surprise, before returning the hug and smiling up at Dusk, their different positions on the stairs allowing Spine, in her teenage form, to hug Dusk back at eye-level. “I was worried you were going to be massively pissed at me, but you’re being really cool about all of this.”

“I am concerned, Spine, but I also trust you. If you’re willing to vouch for your friends, then I’ll trust them too.” Letting Spine go, Dusk took a backwards step down the stairs and gave his ‘assistant’ his best calm smile, despite the roiling anxiety her lateness had caused him to suffer. “Between the mayor, Cherilee and her students, as well as Applejack and her family, I’d say we’re well on the way to making friends here in Ponyville, if not a home.”

“So we’re still thinking about not going back to Canterlot?” There was a hint of … delight in Spine’s voice that made Dusk’s heart clench. I made her stay in Canterlot because I wanted to study magic and stay close to the Princess. Yet out here … I don’t think I’ve ever seen Spine so happy. She hasn’t even complained about not having her consoles around, and she would spend all day on them back home and not be half as happy as she is right now.

“I am seriously considering making Ponyville our new home, yes. I mean, we’re close enough to visit my parents or your mother whenever we want to, so really there’s no point in going back to my tower except to pick up my research and our stuff and get it shipped out to Ponyville.” Reaching out with a hand to gently shove Spine in the shoulder, and in the direction of the shower, Dusk gave a cheeky grin. “I mean, aside from Officer Rulebook and a handful of mares, I’m practically stalker-free out here, and you’re finally around ponies who look at you as simply different, rather than dangerous.”

“Careful … I can still be dangerous, I just choose not to. It’s more fun this way.” The Drake warned, but the grin on her face stole any malice from her words.

“And that, Spine, is the reason why I choose you, and not the sea of horny idiots chasing after me.” Dusk whispered as he watched Spine saunter off to the shower, waiting until the drake disappeared into the bathroom before taking himself down the stairs and towards the kitchen. “Now … supper. Spine does all the cooking, normally, but surely it can’t be that hard … right?”

Chapter 13: Revelations and Trib-ulations

Chapter Thirteen:

Rainbow ‘Danger’ Dash sighed and looked at the manila folder of photographs she’d been asked to take of Ponyville with barely-contained disgust, before tucking them into the satchel she wore while flying to keep such documents safe and began her descent towards the town library. While Dusk was hardly impolite or cruel in his tasks, his infuriating attention to detail and insistence on total perfection had made taking a complete aerial map of Ponyville a literal nightmare, and the fact that both the Unicorn and his Dragon bodyguard would clam up and give each other looks when Rainbow tried to ask why Dusk and the mayor wanted such a thorough overview of the town’s buildings and infrastructure only filled her mind with horrible thoughts of a gaudy Noble’s castle dominating Ponyville’s perfectly clear skies … and ruining her flight-training for her inevitable position on the Wonderbolts!

If she didn’t need to get her job as Weather Manager back pronto, Rainbow would probably have tried to fight back against her demotion to glorified gopher for a dick-on-legs, but Mayor Mare was dementedly determined to keep the puffed-up nerd from Canterlot happy, and that meant Rainbow had to do the same if she wanted to get her position back and keep on track to become a Wonderbolt someday.

Dammit, Applejack. The blue Pegasus cursed as she angled herself more steeply towards the ground and dove towards the library, her purgatory, at top speed. If Applejack hadn’t spoken up, Rainbow might have gotten off with just a slap on the wrist. Yeah, she’d given Rainbow a chance to ‘make good’ and prove she was PC, but it wasn’t right. The Sisterhood says that Stallions are supposed to be subservient to Mares, it was how Faust made us to be, it was how Celestia created Equestria, by dominating and marrying the Stallions who led the three tribes and ennobling their daughters to rule under her guidance. This is unnatural and not cool at all.

At the very least she was still getting paid, by the Stallion no less, and a decent sum at that. Enough to keep the lights on, the pantry stocked and her debts kept at bay for a while longer.

And just because Life hadn’t finished kicking her square in the fork of her legs, there was Applejack with a big basket of apples held under one arm and up against one thick hip, chatting away with Dusk without a care in the world and a big smile on … both their faces.

If she’s put me in this position so she’s got an excuse to hang around the library and flirt with the newest dick in town, so help me Faust, screw the job, I’ll Rainboom her six feet under the dirt on principal.

“Oh, miss Dash, excellent timing!” Using some sort of freaking Unicorn pre-cog or something, the purple nurple looked up and waved to her, his smile fading slightly as he caught sight of her and settling into something closer to a repressed smirk. “Miss Jack just pointed out that there’s a lot of unclaimed territory between her family’s land and Ponyville itself. Since you’re more familiar with the airways around here, is there much traffic between the Apple Acres farm and the western boundary of town?”

“Not … really? It’s pretty much just unclaimed land that Ponyville uses for picnics and stuff.” Rainbow shrugged as she hovered her way down to the ground, taking special care to not get dust all over the two other ponies. She was trying to get her job back, and petty revenge was not only uncool but could sink her chances if Dusk Shine decided to get petty right back. And just because she fantasized about smacking both of these pains in her flanks upside the head didn’t mean she’d actually do so.

“So, little to no air-traffic, owned by the Crown and already used as an entertainment area by the locals … sounds about perfect then.” Dusk Shine rubbed at the underside of his chin with a slender finger, smiling softly as he fell back into thought and Rainbow found herself wondering just what other expressions the Unicorn could pull off so adorably … and turned to give Applejack a glare when she noticed the larger, more muscular mare grinning at her like an idiot. “That’ll be just about perfect for …”

“Yeah, perfect for what, Dusk? You’ve got me flapping all over Ponyville taking photos, and you and your little scaly friend keep hemming and hawing around reason for it. Just straight-up tell me if we’re getting some sort of Faust-awful castle in town or not, will you?” Rainbow snapped, irritated and flustered that Applejack had caught her staring at Dusk, especially since it was Applejack’s fault that Rainbow was stuck working for the cute Unicorn in the first place under incredibly unfair conditions!

It seemed, for a moment, that Dusk would keep silent, before a curious gleam appeared in his eyes and he began speaking. “Well … assuming you can both keep this a secret? We’re looking at expanding Ponyville, bringing the entire town back up the basic level the rest of the country is supposed to be at. It’s all very hush-hush, something the Princess has cooked up and wants kept quiet at all costs because she’s using Ponyville as a testing-platform to see if it’s possible to rapidly, and safely, increase the available infrastructure in small communities without causing undue disruption to the daily lives of the locals.”

“Wait … what? Y’all are gonna build a strip-mall in mah town?” Applejack’s voice carried tones of horror that puzzled Rainbow as she instead imagined finally getting to do some decent shopping without having the brave the gossip-paralysed farmer’s market that passed for Ponyville’s ‘shopping highlight’.

“Good Faust, no, that’s what we’ve got all over the place in Canterlot, and they’re a horrible idea in the first place unless you’ve got a massive population compressed into a tiny area with large amounts of disposable income, and even then I don’t think I’ve ever seen a single non-franchised business survive for longer than six months without direct intervention from the Thrones with the way the mall-owners and franchise-owners all collaborate to smother the competition. No, we’re talking about cinemas, a small shopping center at most, a public pool, things like that. Nothing that would overtly alter the character of Ponyville but enough to bring the town back into the modern era and encourage more Ponies to move into town to take advantage of the unique blend of rustic lifestyle and proximity to Canterlot’s resources.” The Unicorn waved away Applejack’s panicked concern, and Rainbow felt her mood sicken further. Just little changes might bring more ponies to Ponyville, but it’d still be just more small-town garbage, and if only Rainbow could afford the rent in Cloudsdale, she’d be back home in a second if not for …

… If not for a certain Pegasus whom Rainbow owed a huge debt to. “Yeah, okay, that sounds cool and all, but there’s a lot of critters who depend on the local area for fodder and homes and stuff. Where are they gonna go if you start building up the town?” The blue Pegasus pointed out, earning a surprised look from Applejack and a smug grin from the Unicorn.

“Well, my number one assistant is currently in … discussions … with Ponyville’s resident expert on wild-life, which solves two of my bigger problems at the same time.”

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Fluttershy wasn’t entirely sure who had made the move first. One moment, Fluttershy and Spine had been staring at each other across the doorway, Fluttershy wearing a simple one-piece pale-green dress as she’d been caught mid-feeding of some of the more delicate birds who had taken shelter in her cottage, Spine wearing a cute little tank-top and worn cut-off denim shorts, sweating lightly from jogging over to Fluttershy’s cottage.

The next thing she could remember, she and Spine had been manhandling each other up the stairs and into Fluttershy’s bathroom, their clothes forming a trail of shredded fabric leading from by the slammed-shut front door to the base of the stairwell, the largest fragments of which were currently being investigated by a family of curious field-mice looking for new bedding for their homes.

“Oh fuck.” The Dragon had whispered hoarsely, a large, glowing yellow stone hanging around her neck, the only garment she was wearing now as the two women dragged each other under the steaming hot shower, her eyes half-lidded as Fluttershy tugged the Dragon into the tiled recess, her taloned hands locked onto Fluttershy’s large breasts and inverted, puffy nipples, kneading and massaging the sensitive mounds as Fluttershy whimpered and reciprocated, her long delicate fingers teasing in light circles around the Dragon’s own modest chest, long nails tickling at the exposed nipples that had emerged from between the pale yellow, band-like scales that protected Spine’s chest and belly, before her palms covered the svelte Dragon’s chest and began vigorously mushing the firm, jiggling mounds. “Mom said the amulet would protect me from dark magic, but it’s not reacting even a little bit. Fuck, if I don’t have you now I’m going to go crazy!”

“I’m sorry …” Fluttershy whispered as the Dragon followed Fluttershy fully into the shower recess, grappling and pulling herself hard up against Fluttershy’s larger, more lush frame with a wild, animal need for closeness as the two found their hands busy exploring each other’s backs and butts as Spine’s muzzle pressed into the cleft of Fluttershy’s cleavage, while Fluttershy squeaked and moaned encouragements, the two women desperately trying to bring their bodies closer together, grinding against each other erratically. “I think … I think it’s me. I can make ah-animals listen to meeeee, I must be affeahuuu … affecting you somhow.”

“Doesn’t matter.” Spine whispered hoarsely, her tongue flicking out from her muzzle to trail along the hollow of Fluttershy’s throat before dipping into the valley between the pale yellow pegasus’s enormous breasts. “Need you, want you, will have you!”

Fluttershy’s response was lost in a excited squeak as she pulled the Dragon’s head down further into her cleavage … and then changed into a confused mumble as she felt Spine’s frill quiver under her hands, the Drake inexplicably growing, swelling up in size as her assets expanded, small breasts with pointed, proud nipples now expanding into bra-destroying monsters of similar size to Fluttershy’s own, the hot-pink points of Spine’s nipples teasing their way along the outside of Fluttershy’s own inverted, puffy nipples before slipping inside.

And down below, things became even more interesting, as the Drake’s swelling body pushed and rubbed against Fluttershy’s own in very interesting ways, her spade-tipped tail sliding up and around Fluttershy’s back to hold her firmly against the Dragon, and Fluttershy’s confusion fled in the wake of overwhelming lust as she felt something, soft, wet and oh-so-hot come into contact with her treasure, something familiar yet distinct, and a low needy moan was uttered by both women as, awkwardly, they began to bump and grind the junction of their hips against each other, Fluttershy’s feet no longer touching the floor but her legs wrapped around Spine’s hips and thighs as their movements became more frantic and demanding.

“…Yes …” Spine grunted, lifting her short muzzle from the tight space in-between their breasts, face rouged with lust, and Fluttershy took a moment to smother the Drake’s face in kisses as a particularly hard rock of their hips ground their nether-lips hard against each other, spreading them open to one another to their mutual delight.

“Yes!” Fluttershy squeaked as the Drake underwent another growth spurt, this one smaller than before but enough to that she felt her sensitive mounds invaded fully, the drake’s thin, pointed nipples grinding along the insides of her areole, rubbing furiously against her own shyly-hidden, and over;y sensitive, nubs.

“YES!” Both women moaned loudly as they finally found a rhythm that worked for them both and began to truly get down to business, while below them in the ground floor of the cottage, the resident animals took what shelter they could as the more loosely-attached decoration and bird-houses began to rattle loose from their moorings, and a certain white rabbit scowled up the stairs and tapped his foot angrily on the floor, but remembered wisely what happened to him the last time the Soft Buttery One had brought home a predator and he’d interrupted their mating.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Fluttershy? Well, ah guess if’n anypone would know what’s what with the critters, it’d be that girl.” Applejack muttered, shooting a nervous glance towards the dull-green haze that marked the outer boundaries of the overgrown and wild Everfree Forest.

“I’m hoping that whatever magic that Pegasus is using will be able to encourage the local wildlife to stay away from the construction sites. That said, I have no interest in bulldozing all that greenery to put down some ugly concrete and brick monstrosity. We’re talking quite a spread-out area, enough to accommodate an outdoor area large enough to hold about a thousand people at most in addition to a cinema, a small shopping center, public pool …” The purple Unicorn chuckled and shot his own nervous look towards the distant cottage of Ponyville’s resident hermit. “Speaking of which, do either of you two know this Fluttershy all that well? Does she have any connections to Canterlot, or any of the more out-there political or religious groups?”

“Nah, Flutters is waaaaay too shy for that sort of thing. All I know is that, ever since she got lost in the Everfree after a, ah, accident at Cloudsdale Universal Highschool pushed her off of the city’s boundaries, she’s been able to listen to and talk to animals.” Rainbow explained nonchalantly, taking a certain perverse delight in confounding the egg-head for once. “She says some butterflies saved her after her wings cramped up, but that just sounds odd to me.”

“Mollis tristique alas gestet, I think they are called.” The purple nerd said softly, tapping a knuckle against his chin in thought. “It’s a very, very rough translation from a very old form of Ancient Equish, but there’s a species of butterflies known for generating anti-gravity fields with their wings, and they are only found in areas with very dense and unaltered magical currents. The Everfree, and Ponyville itself, are both well within the emission-range of a Class V Leyline, so it’s entirely possible she was saved by a Rabble of Glow-Wings.”

“Ye’re sayin’ bugs saved Fluttershy?” The orange farm-mare gave Dusk a searching look, to which the Unicorn gave a sheepish smile and shrugged.

“They’re not intelligent on their own, but Glow-Wings share a hive-mind that normally is very helpful towards other living beings, and a sufficiently large Rabble would be intelligent enough to manipulate it’s component butterfly’s gravity fields enough to save a … how old would she have been at this time?”

“Jeeze, it was a long time ago … about nine years?” Rainbow replied, wondering why Dusk seemed to flinch when she said ‘nine years’. “It was the usual group of drop-kicks, all of them colts by the way, who were bullying Fluttershy in the middle of our Junior High Mid-Year Racing Festival. I got so mad at them I might have accidentally tried to flatten them, and between being so damn fast, hitting some sort of whirly-gig the Cloud Technicians used to augment wind-speed to blow clouds across Equestria, I accidentally caused a Sonic Rainboom and it might have somehow pushed Fluttershy off the edge of the clouds and down into the Everfree Forest.”

Rainbow found herself scuffing the ground with the toe of her boot as Dusk and Applejack gave her mis-matching looks of surprise and anger.

“Are yah sayin’ poor Fluttershy got blown off a floatin’ city because of you?” Planting her hands on her large hips, Applejack shot Rainbow a scorching look, to which the lithe blue Pegasus shot back a firey look of her own. Don’t need to tell me I fucked up, Apple-Hick, I’ve been trying to make up for it for nearly a decade!

“Wait, you caused a Rainboom nine years ago? From Cloudsdale? As a filly?” Dusk seemed more surprised than anything, then troubled, his eyes flicking from the distant smudge of off-white that was Cloudsdale, to the glittering spires of Canterlot faintly visible perched on the side of the mountain from which the city sprung, and then back to the Everfree Forest, his pupils darting back and forth along with some sort of internal monologue. “If I calculate the effect of the leyline, coupled with the height of Cloudsdale back then and the astral swells combined with the eco-rhythm of Equiss’s ley-lines … Great Goobering Faust, it’s all your fault!”

“Wait, what? What’s my fault?” The Pegasus shot back angrily. What am I being blamed for now?

“Well, not necessarily ‘your fault’ your fault, but … do you think you could do it again? A Rainboom, I mean?” The purple unicorn walked up and planted both hands on Rainbow’s shoulders, and Rainbow found herself staring up into the intense eyes of Dusk Shine, boring down at her with excitement and interest, and desperately hoped she wasn’t blushing, although from the snickering coming from Applejack, she doubted she was that lucky.

“Ah, don’t be worryin’, she’s been tryin’ for nearly a decade to do it again.” Applejack chortled, flipping Rainbow the bird as the slightly-built Pegasus scowled over at the farm-mare. “Plenty o’ craters around town to prove it too, failed attempts to pull off a fluke again an’ again to the point poor Mayor Mare had to officially order Rainbow here to keep her practisin’ to less populated parts o’ the area.”

“I’ve nearly got it down, you shut your apple-lovin’ mouth!” Rainbow shot back, wanting to go over and smack the smug off Applejack’s face, but Dusk’s hands remained firmly on her shoulders, holding her in place with a strength that the former Weather Manager wouldn’t have expected from a slender stallion against a petite powerhouse like herself.

“If you need help, I’ll be more than happy to oblige. Let’s just say that if you are the source of the Rainboom from nine years ago, you and I have a connection, so to speak, and if I can help you pull off the manoeuvre on command, you might be able to help me solve a problem of mine that’s been causing me no end of trouble ever since that damnable day.”

“Wh-what day?” Rainbow found herself stammering as Dusk leaned in closer, and Applejack’s face set into an ugly grimace of frustration and envy.

“The day a Sonic Rainboom hit Canterlot right in the middle of my test to win a scholarship at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, caused me to suffer the most powerful Surge on record in the past five hundred years, and allowed me to hatch Spine.” Dusk replied, his hands tightening painfully on Rainbow’s shoulders. “I assure you, Miss Dash, you and I are going to spend a great deal of time together from now on, make no mistake.”

"Okay?" Rainbow found to her shame that her voice cracked under the intensity of Dusk's eyes, and then further dismay when she caught herself leaning forwards when Dusk pulled his hands away.

"Excellent! Oh, I've got to send a letter to the Princess as soon as I can! To think I'd find the one who caused all of this mess right here in Ponyville! She's going to want to meet you too, of course!" There was a curious tone of nearly childish glee in Dusk's voice as he turned and began walking back towards the library, a scowling Applejack and a flustered Rainbow following along in his wake.

"Wait, you mean ..." Rainbow trailed off with a squeak of dismay as her thoughts tripped and flailed over themselves at what Dusk could mean.

"...The Princess herself is comin' here?" Applejack's voice held no shortage of amazement and shock for her part, both mares losing their anger with each other at the thought of being within the presence of a God.

"Well, yes, I'd assume so. I'll have to wait till Spine gets home so I can use her Dragonfire to send the message, but until then, would you two like to ... oh, that's right." Dusk paused at the entrance to the library, his head turning to the slightly-blackened porthole-style window of the Library's small kitchen before frowning. "Uh ... our kitchen is out of commission for a few more days, so ... either of you have any aversion to hayfires and beet-burgers?"

Applejack and Rainbow Dash paused, shared a look and then shook their heads as Dusk turned around and led them towards the town's sole fast-food restaurant. Being treated to a free lunch by the town's newest and most eligible bachelor wasn't the worst thing that today could spring on them. And it might give Rainbow the chance to deal with the nearly-overwhelming urge to squeal like a high-school filly at the thought of meeting the actual Princess in the flesh!

Chapter 14: Stick Situations and a Taste of things to cum

CHAPTER 14:

Chrysalis shuddered as she felt the black wave of emotional bile lap against her door, tendrils of the vile stuff oozing around the doorframe in response to its owner’s malice.

It had been a profitable week, and even with her actively toning down her performances as ‘Pearl Shiner’, the bits and notes begging for ‘private’ shows had kept rolling in … and Pecker’s smile turned decidedly sharper every time he followed her out onto the stage for his turn, or, after Chrysalis had quietly begged Low Craft to let the attention-obsessed Pegasus go first in an attempt to placate Pecker’s ego, the way his smile would turn into a scowl for a heartbeat before flickering back when Chrysalis would step onto the stage after him and the crowd would cheer louder.

She had propped the only chair in the room under the door-handle, telling Low Craft that it was just ‘insurance’ against a fan that might be able to sneak past the bouncers when one of the other girls had complained about ‘Pearl Shiner’ having a lock on her door when nobody else did, but the expression on the Strip-Club owner’s face had told Chrysalis volumes about how much he believed that lie even as he agreed with her ‘precautions’. Pecker might have been a physically attractive stallion, but Chrysalis knew damn well that like most body-beautiful types, his form was carefully sculpted, built for aesthetics and visual appeal rather than actual practical reasons. All those muscles on that slender frame and none of them would be able to do more than provide a short burst of energy because Pecker kept himself nearly dehydrated to keep his muscle definition at its peak. He was literally five minutes from exhaustion, but five minutes was more than enough to do harm with the right motivation and a short burst of physical energy.

In short, if things came down to a fight, all Chrysalis had to do was make sure Pecker had to burn through his reserves very quickly and his own obsession with the absurd heights of social concepts on physical beauty would turn the tables on him. The problem was she’d have to survive long enough for that to happen, and her current ‘persona’ wouldn’t be able to believably hold off such a physically powerful specimen without magic, and ‘Pearl Shiner’ had been carefully crafted to be a non-combatant.

So in theory I can outrun him … if I can just get to the exit and he keeps to the ground. Why did I have to pick a Unicorn as my identity? A Pegasus would be able to fly away, and with my magic I could easily outpace that glorified peacock once we were out of sight of any witnesses, or if I’d chosen an Earth Pony, I could just use my superior strength as a Queen Caste without arousing any attention! Chrysalis cursed, holding a pillow to her chest and rocking back and forth on the narrow bed as the door-handle squeaked and turned, the door thumping against the chair wedged under the handle, before she heard Pecker curse and storm off. Oh give it a rest, I needed magic to be able to pull off the lost, robbed waif act, and I’ve always favoured using magic over brute force anyways. I might have to just dine and dash, just soak up as much ambient emotional energy as I can, after-tastes be damned, and run off tomorrow night. It’ll be another month and a half before I can sneak myself onto a train heading straight to Canterlot, but fuck me sideways with a cactus if I’m going to spend any longer in this place!

Which sucked, and not just because it would mean crafting another persona and bumming around this seedy little border-town for all that time without a roof and some form of social connection to keep her safe, housed and occupied. She’d made some nice contacts here, who might even become friends if Chrysalis could risk staying longer. Many of the other dancers and staff were very friendly once they got over any feelings of envy and the Queen-in-Exile found it oddly sweet that even though she was more flexible and stronger than most of the more established staff, her willingness to help them with exercises and routines around the pole built a very solid foundation for them all to …

It’s like what I wanted the Hive to be. Chrysalis thought to herself sadly as she waited for the sickening psychic stench that followed Pecker everywhere to fade away enough for her to risk doing anything else but huddle in her room. Family, working together not out of desperation and a race for personal gain before the others claimed it first, but to advance and empower each other so that the whole family could thrive together. It is what the Hive, my Hive, will be once I can make it to Canterlot and start to accumulate all that love-energy that swirls around the Princess from all of her subjects. Just a fraction of that power would be enough to make me strong enough to come back home and wipe out my mother and sisters in one fell swoop. Then I could start smuggling the members of the Hive willing to follow my way of doing things back into Canterlot, let everyone feed, begin teaching a new generation of Changelings how to infiltrate and live peacefully within Equine society, rather than the old way of kidnapping and sucking the psychic energy out of Ponies until they become brain-dead and have to be discarded.

No. As much as I should and how much it would simplify my plans, killing the Old Guard would make me no better than they. As disheartening as it is, I’m going to have to accept Hive Pupae is as good as dead and strike out on my own to make an entirely new Hive. Find a magically powerful Stallion amongst the Ponies, since it’s highly unlikely I’m going to be able to steal a proper Prince from any of the Hives that still exist without bringing down the wrath of an entire Hive’s worth of Queens on my head in the process, and try to start a Hive that way. Chrysalis sighed and squashed the pillow against her middle, suddenly gaining a deep appreciation of why Ponies and other sentient races kept pets. Something to cuddle when one was feeling lost and lonely without the concerns of having to deal with a fellow sentient beings needs and emotional quirks getting in the way sounded absolutely wonderful right about now. That said, the type of Stallion I’ll need to sire a generation of Changelings has to be just right, and from what I’ve heard of Canterlot, there’s only two real sources of genetic material I can be aiming for. The Nobility, or the Royal Guard.

On the one hand, the Royal Guards are utterly devoted to their Princess, trained into skilled and powerful soldiers and no doubt have wills of iron, so I’m not going to be able to waltz in, pick a target and lift my tail to get the job done. I’ll have to pick one who has an impeccable bloodline, excellent base-line physical abilities before their training kicked in and a powerful magical talent, and that kind of Stallion is likely to be highly placed within the military hierarchy, have a plethora of Mares chasing after him already and might already be married or in a relationship. The disguised Queen gave a deep, heartfelt sigh and fell over onto her side, still cuddling the pillow. On the other hand, the Nobility boasts exceptionally powerful bloodlines that are world-famous for their magical prowess, and let’s be honest, if the intelligence I gathered on my previous trips is any indication, many of the Nobles are very inclined to be quite free with attractive commoners and in the unlikely event I can’t find a sufficiently powerful Noble-blooded Stallion, I can always take on a male appearance, mate with a Noble-blooded Mare and try to siphon an egg or two out of her to fertilize with my own.

Hardly ideal, considering I would be fusing two eggs together rather than an egg and a sperm, but at least I would produce a powerful offspring which could then help me expand the Hive in more traditional methods. I’ve only ever practiced the extraction method a few times, but the Drones who were willing to practice with me said the sensation was enjoyable, if a little odd to have something sucking on their cervixes.

It still didn’t give her many options, or peace of mind. A score or so of drones per mating, close to a month between ‘genetic material gathering’ missions to allow the eggs to incubate enough in her body to remain viable after she would then use her ovipositor to deposit them in a specially prepared nest … to produce enough numbers to make a self-sufficient Hive would take years, all the while Chrysalis would have to keep herself under the radar of the Royal Guard, find a place where her Hive could grow safely without random Ponies could just walk in on them and also try to make sure her newborn Drones wouldn’t just walk out undisguised to feed … even with the accelerated growth process of the Drone-caste, that would still be twenty or so Drones to train, feed and keep occupied until their minds caught up to their bodies.

It could take a year or more before her Hive was self-sufficient, and Chrysalis would have to feed, train and protect her brood all on her own. The deeper she thought about it, the more concerned and doubtful Chrysalis became, but the prospect of living a life flitting from one persona to the next and scavenging to survive filled her with a deep and abiding sense of horror. Even the most talented Infiltrator Drones kept to a handful of personas, and the Infiltrators who swapped forms too often and avoided assuming their natural forms for too long usually ended up either going mad or at war with themselves as the personas eventually took on a life of their own and tried to wrangle control of the body from the original identity …

Okay, focus, all this doom and gloom isn’t going to help me succeed. Be aware of what can go wrong, but don’t become concerned with only that. Remember your training. Chrysalis groaned and rolled back onto the bed, still clutching the pillow tightly to her middle, mentally reciting the basics she’d picked up from the few Infiltrator Drones who had been willing to risk talking to her back at Hive Pupae. Rule number 1) An alternate persona should not stand out unless you are trying to draw attention to yourself. Rule number 2) Simple is best, a convoluted backstory gives you too many opportunities to screw up and expose yourself in simple conversation. Rule number 3) Know the ground-rules of the region you are trying to infiltrate. Nobody ever did their job while being locked up in jail for violating one of the locals’ silly little laws.

So that meant whoever she ‘became’ in Canterlot had to be a unicorn to avoid social bias, had to be pretty enough to be able to seduce a stallion without being so noticeable that they’d be easily recognized in a crowd, and have a valid reason for being in Canterlot, sniffing around the Royal Guard and the Nobility that wasn’t overly convoluted or outlandish.

Chrysalis was so busy trying to assemble that jigsaw puzzle of her new identity that she completely missed the absence of Pecker’s emotional bile leaving the building and taking off into the air, heading towards the barracks of the nearby Border Guard outpost, and the threads of dark red anger that had begun to shoot through the inky black bile of jealousy and envy that consumed his psychic aura.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dusk looked on at the situation with equal parts anger, arousal and amusement.

Spine looked back up at Dusk with an expression of frustration and reluctance.

Fluttershy just squeaked and tried to hide behind her hair, which was the source of Dusk’s amusement considering the state he’d found them in following Dusk’s franticly-written scroll asking for him to come over and help.

It was not hard to see what the problem was: The two women were on all fours, butt-to-butt, with what looked like the largest toy Dusk has ever seen sharing space with their unmentionables, which was also the reason they needed help.

“So, do I just grab one of you and pull or …?” Dusk smiled tightly as he joked about the situation, trying to repress his irritation. He’d wanted Spine to find other Ponies to befriend, a way to ease their co-dependence, and yes, maybe find a way to solve their own physical entanglement given the lingering sibling-like attachment he had towards Spine. He hadn’t expected to find Spine in the middle of a raging lesbian escapade less than two weeks into their adventure, and certainly hadn’t expected to feel so hurt about it consider his original intentions!

That and since the Sunstone medallion remained intact and pure and Ponyville wasn’t the site of a sun-fuelled inferno courtesy of an outraged Princess of the Sun on the world’s most violent over-the-top-over-protective-mother-themed rampage, it also meant the Pegasus hadn’t been using some form of dark magic on his assistant. That said, the difference in size between the lushly-figured yellow Pegasus and the slender, petite Drake raised a whole slew of questions that the Mage wasn’t sure he could get the answers to without looking like a complete letch and a hypocrite.

“T-that would be bad, we’d be hurt if you did that.” Fluttershy squeaked, one large, green eye peering out from a gap in her pink mane. “Th-the toy has a lot of soft rubber points on it, and knots. Wh-we need aaaa-ah! Spine has to … to get bigger again.”

“Wait, you aged, Spine? Please, please tell me you didn’t have a Greed episode and took advantage of this poor mare?” The purple Unicorn’s head snapped around to glare at Spine, who glared back at him, which had far less effectiveness than the Drake probably wanted with her bared ass and tail up in the air before him.

“Well, yeah, I filled out a little but it was totally consensual. We might have, uh, broken Fluttershy’s shower cubicle. And her bed. And the kitchen table. Then she said she wanted to see if I’d react better to a dildo modelled on a dragon’s cock than a pony’s, so we tried, I came super hard and … I can’t get age myself up anymore.” Spine grumbled, wiggling back and forth as she tried to work herself free and instead giving Dusk quite the show as Spine’s tight rear and Fluttershy’s perfectly heart-shaped backside wiggled and jiggled against each other for a few seconds.

“And why can’t you just pull out?” Turning to the resident hermit of Ponyville, Dusk rubbed at both temples to try and massage the migraine he could feel coming on away.

“… I got a little carried away?” She squeaked before seeing Dusk’s expression and hid back behind her long hair. “It’s ah, uhm, very big model and when Spine snapped back to normal, and looked so young, I was very shocked and I, uh, clamped down and I’m too stressed to let go.”

Dusk tried very hard to not think about the gripping power required to hold a device that big inside a body when a being as strong as Spine was, even in her default state, was furiously tugging away at her own end, and found himself very grateful he’d chosen to wear baggy slacks today in an attempt to hide the outline of his body from Ponyville’s more insistent mares.

“I think I’m tapped. I don’t suppose …” The draconic half of the lewd Pushme-Pullme before him asked nervously, tail slowly wagging back and forth in the air as she gave Dusk her best puppy-dog eyes.

“First of all, every time I’ve recharged your magic for you, Spine, you’ve either aged up, eaten five times your mass in ice-cream, then proceed to vomit over everything I’ve owned or you go on an even worse Greed spree than before, and that’s how you’re in the mess you’re in right now. Secondly, how many times did you two go at it and forcibly trigger Spine’s growth-quirk to the point that it could be possible to exhaust a draconic pool of magic in the space of half a day?” Frustrated at both his own arousal and the possible ramifications of such given the situation, the words slipped out of Dusk before he could stop them.

“Fifteen times?” The butter-yellow Pegasus squeaked helpfully from under her mane of hair.

“In this room.” Spine added, a nervous grin on her face.

“… A part of me desperately just wants to leave this room and leave you two to sort out this, ah, interspecies exchange on your own, but I have a duty of care towards Spine, and another part of me is going to enjoy watching you two squirm, literally, as I get that thing out of you.” Sighing heavily, Dusk looked around the kitchen where he’d found the two entangled idiots, his horn flickering with magic that glowed in the grooves of his horn as he opened every drawer and cupboard door he could find before pulling out several likely bottles. “Okay, so we’ve got … canola oil, rice bran oil, flaxseed oil … My Faust, but you have a lot of open jars of peanut butter.”

Fluttershy turned even redder, if that was possible, and squeaked in distress.

“Yeah, I’m not going to ask why, I’m already on the verge of an aneurysm as it is. Alright, I am officially over this by a wide margin, we’ve got enough oil to slip a Tatzlwurm through a Breezie’s ass, I’ll just pass you two the bottles and … go wait in the other room.” The purple Unicorn began, before Spine’s hand shot out and grabbed his ankle.

“And how in Faust’s left tit do you expect us to get loose in this predicament without your help? We were pretty well lubricated when this happened, just in case we weren’t clear before!”

“You’ve got your new lube, just … keep going at it until one of you works your way loose and solves the problem.” Dusk protested, trying to pull away and yelping as Spine’s hand clenched hard enough to crush his flesh against his own bones. “Spine! Dammit, that hurt!”

“I don’t give a crap! This … thing inside me fitted perfectly, Dusk. Perfectly. When I was the size of a fully grown Dragoness, not a small teenager! Unless I get bigger, it’s not coming out and I am not walking back to Ponyville with a two-foot-long dildo rubbing me stupid every step of the way! I don’t think I even can walk right now.” The Drake snarled back up at him. “Loan me some magic so I can age up right now and pull out!”

“No way, I give you any of my magic and you’ll just have another Greed attack, with even less self-control than normal!”

“Dusk, I swear to Faust we are not having this conversation when I’m spread open like a new train tunnel with another Mare attached to my backside in the same situation! Stop being a damn baby and gimme the juice already!”

“Isn’t there anything else we can try? If giving Spine more magic is dangerous, couldn’t you try using your magic to shrink the toy?” Fluttershy asked softly as Spine and Dusk glared at each other. “Uhm … sorry? I don’t know all that much about Unicorn magic …”

“It’s not a bad idea, but the problem with magic-fields is that you need to have a good visual grasp of the object you are manipulating. That or know the object intimately to avoid causing damage to the object … and the things around it.” Dusk explained, trying to shake Spine loose but to little effect. “Since I can’t very well ‘see’ what’s going on, I’d need to use a tactile field instead to properly map the entire object, meaning I am going to have to cover the object in a thin field of my magic. Even though it’s an energy wave-form, you’re both going to feel the tactile field spreading up and through certain parts of your bodies in a very personal manner…”

“Fuck! Dusk, just say you’ve got to get a TK grip on the dildo before you can teleport it out of us! This isn’t Faust-damn College tutoring lesson, just do it!” Spine snapped and gave Dusk’s ankle a hard squeeze before letting go.

“… I’ll try to limit the amount of time I spend building up the field to limit the sensation. Again, Miss Shy, my deepest apologies that you got caught up in all of this.” The purple mage grimaced and began to cast his telekinetic field, the simplest and most basic spell every Unicorn learned in their childhood, sending a wisp of purple-red energy down between the two very different backsides and latching around what little of the toy could be seen emerging from its two new homes.

Spine, being long familiar with Dusk’s magic, only gritted her teeth and groaned around the barrier as the strange feeling of static electricity buzzing against her lips grew stronger and stronger, while for Fluttershy, new to such things, a full-throated gasp escaped her and she threw her head up, eyes wider than normal in shock as Dusk’s telekinetic field began to slowly work its way up the device that trapped her and Spine together.

“Oh my sweet, loving Faust, what on Equiss were you two thinking? This thing’s a torture device!” Dusk said without thinking as the tactile field gave him a very precise image of exactly what was holding the two women together. Dreams of becoming a mare again, if only to avoid the charade he was forced to live because of that wretched day, had of course involved fantasies about having his own natural plumbing back again, but the thought of something like this going anywhere near something as vital and sensitive a body part as the sexual organs made Dusk nearly flinch and lose control of the spell.

The soft spines were one thing, except rather than being the mere nubs he was used to seeing on such lonely-night aids, these had been sculpted to look more like rose thorns that had been broadened and flattened with rounded ‘points’, and the knots … he could understand that Spine might possess some sort of physiology that could accommodate, perhaps even properly function around such an evolutionarily extreme measure, but an equine like Fluttershy?

And of course it was very hard to focus on the spell with Fluttershy, and to a lesser extent, Spine, thrashing around on their respective ends and constantly shifting the object he was trying to map with their wild movements didn’t make the job any easier, nor did the way his concentration kept shifting from the task at hand to the very intriguing sights and noises coming from the show being put on literally at his feet.

Trying to keep a hold of the rapidly object and maintain a good impression of it for the teleportation under this situation meant thickening the telekinetic field, which only made things worse as Spine and Fluttershy reacted violently to the increasing amount of magic inside them, giving up entirely on holding themselves back and thrashing wildly in blind animal need against each other, gasping and moaning like there was no tomorrow.

“For the love of … stop moving around, if I make the field any thicker …!” Dusk began, then grunted as he strained to keep the field intact as Fluttershy twisted left, and Spine bucked right, and for one brief moment he thought the damned dildo was going to break before the two slammed back together again, eyes vacant and mouths open only to emit low, animal noises before they started to thrash wildly against each other again, and Dusk decided to take a risk.

As they pulled apart, Dusk thickened the field as much as he dared, trying to ignore the delighted shrieks and then … teleported the damned object away.

It was a gross violation of dozens of teleportation theories and rules, but he’d thrown the device as far away as his magical reserves would allow with a single, panicked casting, directly upwards and away from Fluttershy’s house, where there surely would be no innocent beings in the path of the teleportation spell, and quite frankly he hadn’t had time to set a distinct re-entry point for the sex-toy. He had just wanted it out of Spine and Fluttershy before things got freakier than they already were.

If he were to guess, the damnable thing was probably somewhere on the moon right now if he was calculating the amount of power he’d thrown into the teleportation spell and the instinctive ‘jerk’ he’d applied to ‘remove’ the object from its nests.

One small leap for equines, one massively awkward question for all of equine-kind when some poor sap finally steps onto the moon and finds that thing just wedged into a pile of moon-rocks.

Looking down, Dusk was profoundly glad once again for wearing baggy pants as he caught sight of Fluttershy and Spine face-down on the floor with their trembling, fluid-stained hips in the air. Thankfully, the cascade of Fluttershy’s tail granted her some small token of dignity, but given the slow, lazy wag of both tails, the interaction of his magic on nerve-rich flesh had been … welcome.

Can I just leave, right now? Like, just walk out and hoof it back to Canterlot? I think I remember where Princess Celestia stashes her favourite brandies, and right now I could do with getting completely hammered without having to worry about getting jumped while my defences are down. The purple Magi groaned out loud and rubbed at the bridge of his nose, stepping back and away from the exhausted mare and drake, and from temptation. Whatever had happened here needed to be discussed rationally, intelligently and without screaming hissy-fits about what Spine might have done to their kinda-sorta-maybe-perhaps relationship with whatever sexual marathon she’d indulged in with Fluttershy. Of course, then I’d have to let the Princess know that Spine just had a Greed rampage that ended up with her stuck ass to ass with a literal pin-up of a Mare and me having to pry them apart at the fun bits. Faust knows what would be left of the town after that little discussion …

On second thought, he’d probably be better heading down to Zebrica and trying to disappear into the jungles rather than being anywhere near Ponyville if and when Princess Celestia heard about this …

Dusk’s musings were interrupted, again, when first his left leg, then his right, were grabbed, prompting the Magi into looked down, startled at the fierceness of the grip.

“Agaaaaaaaain…” two voices whispered up at him in tones that sent chills down his spine and whatever arousal he had been feeling before fading like snow under a blazing summer sun.

“Oh buck no!” Dusk managed to yelp before he was dragged to the ground, horn blazing with power.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On the Moon

A silver-shod boot prodded the object that had so recently added a new crater to Their Domain, withdrawing quickly and with a soft ‘ew’ as strands of cloudy liquid clung to the offending object.

There were questions one did not wish to know the answers to.

“That said …” The being murmured, turning away from the offending object that perverted the purity of Their Domain, and turned large, green eyes with slitted pupils to the beautiful gem, that world of white, blue, green and more that had remained just out of reach for almost a thousand years … and the nearly invisible barrier that had kept Them trapped on the arid surface of Their Domain.

While the offending object had not broken the barrier, no mortal magic or object, no matter how bizarre and unnatural, could break Her magic, after all, but it had come from somewhere, and while the barrier might prevent Their magic from directly reaching down to the surface, it did not stop Them from tracing the likely trajectory …

“Hmmph. Close to the Castle then. A thousand years to rebuild and expand, and maybe to forget We existed? To defile our Domain with such a …” The being dragged it’s besmirched hoof across the lunar rocks and sighed as chalk-like dust was stuck to their hoof instead. “… We would give a Prince’s ransom for some water and soap right now.”

Sadly, despite their Divine status, no miraculous bucket of cleansing agents appeared to solve their ill, nor had any such wish been granted in the past thousand years.

And so they waited, one leg held out firmly from their body until the offending secretions dried, and waited with ill-concealed impatience for their long, unjust Exile to end.

Chapter 15: Mothers, Closets and ...

Chapter 15:

Celestia eyed the letter with some trepidation.

On the one hand, spending more time with her beloved children, Dusk and Spine, even if she could never dare utter such a thing aloud where Twilight Velvet could hear, was always a pleasant option and both Spine and Dusk had said many great things about Ponyville and their experiences there.

On the other, openly heading down to Ponyville would directly work against her plans, both for the Summer Sun Celebration and her more … long-term goals. She couldn’t risk alerting the Nobility to her goal, they’d either chew up the invaluable time she had left till the return of her sibling with inane whining or attempt to overtake Ponyville directly to claim all the credit for themselves … and wind up square in the middle of her sibling’s roaring rampage of revenge.

… On second thought, putting several of her more troublesome factions of Nobles in Ponyville suddenly sounded very appealing. Best case scenario, they’d be traumatized for a few generations, whether she won or lost, and in the worst case? They’d serve as a bloody reminder to the rest of the planet why Alicorns ruled the world, or at least the good portions of it.

Still, it was rather rare for Dusk to speak warmly of strange Mares, and the Apple Clan had always had a healthy, if at times overly so, relationship with the Throne. A quick request for a subtle investigation to her intelligence agencies had given her a few files to look through, and this ‘Apple Jack’ seemed to be a fine, upstanding if somewhat bland, socially speaking of course, mare … and then Celestia found the photos.

Good goobering Faust, that mare is huge. Celestia thought, well aware of the irony of her saying that about another Mare, as she eyed the picture, looking for some sort of physical flaw or fault. More than adequately endowed with all manner of womanly attributes along with enough muscles to probably make several legions of her Royal Guard feel inadequate all at once. If the measurements were to be believed, Dusk would be lucky to reach the top of this ‘Apple Jack’s’ shoulders, let alone look her in the eye.

The next folder, one Rainbow Dash, caused Celestia even greater concern. Multiple counts of aerial crashes, disturbing the peace and vigilante actions along with low scores in most of her school and high-school tests … and absolutely nothing in higher levels of education than that. Wherein Applejack had, according to her files, been forced to leave school at the earliest possible age to assist with her family’s farm after the tragic loss of her parents, Rainbow Dash appeared to have simply dropped out and moved on from one dead-end job to the next until she dropped into a rut in Ponyville and stayed there, causing low-level mayhem to the civil servants who were unfortunate enough to become her co-workers in the process.

The files on Fluttershy, however, were extreme illuminating to Celestia, who having had millennia of experiences to draw upon, was quickly able to figure out she was dealing with a very old, very reclusive bloodline that was supposed to have vanished without a trace some six hundred years ago, and irritatingly enough it had been a bloodline that Celestia and her allies had expended a considerable amounts of time, money and effort in making certain it remained ‘vanished’. Partly for revenge for what the progenitor of said bloodline had done to Equestria and her ancient allies, but during the last period in time when that particular bloodline was still clinging to power, Celestia’s Justicars had moved to protect the Thestral sub-species from being consumed from within and turned into monsters due to their unique vulnerability to the dark magic practiced by that infernal family.

Thestrals had enough bigotry to deal without becoming actual blood-suckers.

It also explained the sudden fascination Spine had developed with the buxom Pegasus, especially the urge to possess young Fluttershy the way that Spine had spoken of, and Dusk’s report had outlined in awkward detail as well. Dragons had, and always would be, fascinated with gemstones and crystals, and given that bloodline was involved, well, Spine’s need to possess the poor Pegasus physically could easily be explained.

Of course his bloodline wouldn’t just up and vanish, that would make my life far too easy! At least the Sunstone charm I forced Spine to wear hasn’t sent me a signal, so at least this temptress doesn’t know any Black Magic, or hasn’t used any of it on Spine yet. Which means whatever attraction, unnatural as it is, that appears between Fluttershy and my baby girl is simply a side-effect of that bloodline’s ability, and this is not some premeditated seduction. Still, ironic that the bloodline would show up in a Pegasus family, when the Impaler’s family was so adamantly proud of being purely of Unicorn pedigree!

And of course, Fluttershy’s files also included mentions of this Rainbow Dash character as well. The two had apparently been in the same school, and the reports on Rainbow Dash’s earliest acts of vigilantism had been in retaliation for the bullying and abuse a much younger Fluttershy had been receiving from the sons of some of Cloudsdale’s more prominent Cloud Technicians. Cloud Technicians, whose position in the social hierarchy as opposed to that of Fluttershy’s own parents, who were reputed to be as equally shy and reclusive as at least one of their children, meant the bullying had been allowed to progress to truly dangerous levels before Rainbow Dash’s rash actions had forced the school’s teachers to clamp down hard on all forms of abuse and assault after two of the bullies had found themselves with broken wings and the third …

Eeesh. I have little tolerance for the gits if the Cloudsdale General School’s reports are indeed accurate, but a young filly should not be that violent in this day and age. Celestia looked at the one of the photos included in the file containing what details her agents had uncovered on the yellow pegasus, wincing as she saw the sheer scope of the bracers the fat little colt would be wearing for several years to come, and was probably still wearing, after receiving a punch to the face at nearly mach 1 from Rainbow Dash. The next photo included the aforementioned blue idiot, with one arm in a plaster-cast and the other defiantly raised in the eternal symbol of rebellion, middle digit frozen forever in mid-rotation in-front of a gap-toothed, unrepentant grin.

So, she’s the reason for the Sonic Rainboom. And apparently she turned the velocity of the stunt into the diving power needed to side-swipe two colts twice her size and break their wings in the process, then bleed off the last of the momentum to deliver a right-hook to the third’s face that shattered several bones in her arm, but was not enough to stop her kicking seven shades of crap out of the fat little slug before the adults finally got involved. Celestia tapped a long, slender finger against the rim of her tea-cup as she thought about the possibilities before her. Arrogant yet loyal. Aggressive yet protective. Embraced the Sisterhood’s teachings, and yet Dusk’s letters paint her as willing to work under him, if surly about it. And meeting this ‘Rainbow’ mare face-to-face could do wonders for solving any issues arising from the Sisterhood’s warped teachings.

She had been trying to assign Royal Guards to Dusk and Spine for years, but with Shining Armor’s induction and rapid rise up the ranks, and unfortunate use as a suitably durable target for Cadence’s focus while the younger Princess came to terms with the unceasing urges fostered on Cadence by her ‘Domain’, most of the Guards either had developed a familiar bond with Dusk to the point Celestia worried that they were too relaxed around her children, or would treat the two as a quick way to gain her notice and become bitter about their posting when Celestia refused to consider them for advancement.

But what if the guards are not actual Guards? Applejack appears to be not only physically superior to most of my rank-and-file troops, but if she actually is Granny Smith’s grand-daughter, odds are she’s also stubborn as a mule and twice as vicious when it comes to standing by friends and family. If I can convince Dusk to bring this mare into his tiny circle of friends, give them a nudge here and there and hey presto, one giant amazon-shaped meat-shield between my little Dusk and my sibling when their Exile ends.

And this Rainbow Dash could probably be as good a pick as Applejack … if she can be brought to heel in time. Fast, agile and unafraid of physical confrontation coupled with a decidedly aggressive sense of loyalty towards those weaker than her. While she lacks the discipline I normally strive for, I doubt Rainbow would flinch at flying into Hellfire for somepony she considers a friend.

Celestia looked at Fluttershy’s file, shuddered, and reached under her table for a bottle of something stronger than just tea. Daydrinking be damned, but having one of the Impaler’s descendants around her two favourite beings filled her with concern. Still, if nothing else, the unnatural attraction between her and Spine would at the very least compel her to stand firm with Dusk by virtue of the relationship between Spine and Dusk.

I wonder if I could talk Dusk into casting the hybridizing spell on Spine, if we make it past the Summer Sun Celebration safely. It has been an age since I last spoiled a child, or at least it feels like it. Dusk grew up far too fast, she had to given the circumstances and Spine, like all Dragons, was hardly the cuddliest little thing as a baby. The Solar Princess sighed and leaned back in her seat, feeling the weight of her millennia on her shoulders very keenly now. Or maybe it’ll be that Apple mare. Those are hips made for birthing, and the Apples tend to have big children. Wouldn’t that put the wind up those stuffy Nobles, a half-commoner Unicorn with Dusk’s magical potential and a body like that of a draft-horse? Or maybe it’ll be this Rainbow, and I’ll instead have fast little Pegicorns zooming around my castle? Or …

Images of a dark Stallion, his horn stained an awful, shifting hue of intermingling red, orange and black auras, flickered into Celestia’s mind, his once shining armour corroded and tattered, his eyes rolling with madness even as bloody tears stained his cheeks. If the tears had been ones of grief, agony or relief, neither Celestia nor her sibling had ever been able to guess before the weight of their spell had incinerated the awful bastard and driven his ashes deep into the partially-melted glacier.

Whatever happens, I cannot allow Fluttershy to seduce Dusk, or at the very least have children by him. Even if she is a Pegasus, if such a strong magical bloodline like the Twilights’ combines with her own, it could very easily spawn a being capable of harnessing Blood Magic the same way most beings draw breath. Innocent or not, Fluttershy’s connection to Spine and Dusk must be monitored, carefully, until I can personally see if the Impaler’s bloodline still works to revive their patriarch or if my Templars’ have truly done their duty.

The Solar Princess’s dark musings were interrupted as a new wrinkle appeared before her, a familiar sense of Dusk’s magic as a single page of parchment, in several places stained purple by the power of her favourite mage’s magic, wafted down from the air and landed on-top of Celestia’s pile of folders.

Wondering why Dusk would risk teleporting something as mundane as paper so recklessly, Celestia snatched up the sheet and began to read, her brow growing more and more furrowed as she read the short message, until the Sun That Shone Over All and the Gentle Princess Of Hope’s face was a scowling mask of rage. Wings shooting straight out and trembling with fury, Princess Celestia stood up from her table so quickly the ancient, heavy oaken piece of furniture nearly flipped over, and pulled heavily, repeatedly, upon a silk cord beside her to summon an attendant.

Court would have to be cancelled for today, hang what the Nobility thought of it, and if they didn’t like it they would be given a very blunt reminder of why Celestia had ruled nearly uncontested for a thousand years!

One member of her family addled by obsessive lust was bad enough, and sacrificing one of her more promising Guards to be the object of that obsession haunted her thoughts more than the Princess cared to admit, but Celestia could not risk having Cadence running wild and 'attacking' the general public, hence why poor Shining Armor had to play the role of unwitting bait, at least until her ‘niece’ could fully master her position as the Avatar of Love. And Celestia dared not risk her trump-cards being distracted by torrid personal dramas when nearly a thousand years of planning, plotting and praying for a miracle were about to come to fruition!

It was time to pay a visit to Spine and see if allowing her draconic daughter truly was handling living out from under Celestia’s shadow as well as she claimed, and if not, then perhaps the time had come to separate Dusk and Spine for good, regardless of the cost to both of them. To all of Celestia’s broken, fractured mockery of a family.

Again.

“Princess first, mother second, and damn all the Gods for forcing that distinction on me.” Celestia hissed to herself in fury as a trembling servant poked her head in the door to ask what her Princess required.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Dusk, seriously, you have to come out of there sometime.” Spine grunted, trying in vain to take back one of the library’s cushions from the admittedly formidable-looking fortress Dusk had built into a small supply closet in the back of the library’s private quarters, but the Unicorn’s magic had not only welded the cushions to the door-frame and each other, but had also rendered them almost as hard as iron in the process.

“No I don’t. I can teleport food in.” Came the surly reply, followed by a distinctive and familiar purple-red flash, and then a loud, pointed chewing noise.

“What about the bathroom then?”

“… I can teleport that somewhere else.”

“Is that somewhere else going to be sanitary for whoever’s unlucky enough to wander under your teleportation portal?”

“Not my problem. Is your partner in crime still out there?”

Spine rolled her eyes, looked over her shoulder and shrugged at the Pegasus, who whimpered and squirmed on the spot in embarrassment.

“Yeah. She’s here, and so am I, and we’re not leaving until you come out of that closet and face us like a stallion.”

“When I tried to face you two like a stallion, you two sex-crazed lunatics pulled me down to the ground and tore my clothes off with your teeth!” A slender purple finger emerged from the formidable pillow-fortress, pointing at Spine, then Fluttershy, before quickly withdrawing as Spine made a lunge for it. “If I hadn’t teleported myself out of there, you two would have … would have …”

“U-uhm … sorry?” Fluttershy squeaked, and Spine found herself wondering what is was about the Pegasus she found so adorable, not that a figure that could put super-models to shame was something to sneeze at, as she walked over to give the quivering, shaking Pegasus a hug to calm her down. “Just … my flip was … I j-just wanted to … ooooh.”

“If I hadn’t teleported when I had, you two would be facing a Category 3 Assault Charge right now! I just feel fortunate that I still had my underwear on and was able to steal one of your blankets to protect my dignity!” This time Dusk’s entire hand emerged, formed into the immortal, universally-recognized symbol of defiance, before retreating back into the Iron Pillow Fortress of Doom. “I then had to use a spell of flight and an invisibility charm at the same time to get back home without having the town full of randy, don’t-care-about-the-concept-of-consent Mares jump me and finish what you two started! My head is pounding from the strain of doing all of that on the fly and the last thing I need is having to pull off a repeat performance!”

“Dusk, for Faust’s sake, we’re sorry already. We calmed down, had cold showers separately and, quite frankly, we’re both too sore and chafed to even think about attacking you, let alone having to walk all the way back into town adding to our misery.” Spine stalked back to the fortified closet and dragged her claws down the front of the iron-hard cushions, wincing as her claws blunted against the fabric.

“We can have a perfectly serviceable conversation while I am in here.” Dusk shot back.

“I could leave …?” Fluttershy offered meekly, wrapped in her own wings, before Spine turned and shot her a dirty look, shaking her head in an emphatic ‘no’.

“No. We are dealing with this before Dusk panics and sends Celestia some sort of doomsday letter and this village drowns in solar plasma. Dusk, seriously, you need to talk to us, let us apologise and find a way to make this up to you.”

“Dealin’ with what, darlin’?” Spine flinched as the Applejack stuck her head around the wall of bookcases that ‘hid’ the supply closet from the rest of the library proper. “An’ who the heck made a pillow fort in the library?”

“Dusk did. Fluttershy and I … might have come on a bit too strong and traumatized him, so we need Dusk to come out of the closet so we can talk this over, rationally, like adults, without my mother coming down on us all like the fist of an angry, well, herself.” The Drake explained after a few moments of tense silence, with Fluttershy folding her wings around herself and diving behind a reading couch, squeaking incoherently in embarrassment, while Spine had the distinct impression Applejack had just started appraising Spine in ways that felt oddly uncomfortable given what she’d gotten up to with Fluttershy merely a few hours before.

“Dusk is in the closet? Hah! Called it, knew he was gay!” Rainbow’s voice chortled from somewhere else in the library, prompting mutual groans of dismay and anger from both Dusk and Spine. “What? He needs to come out of the closet and … wait, you mean he’s in the closet right now? Why? That place probably hasn’t been cleaned in years!”

“Believe me, a few spiders and spots of black mold are preferable to getting pounded into a wheelchair by two oversexed vixens. I’m going to start enchanting my underwear with taser spells at this rate!” Dusk grumbled, one lavender eye appearing and glaring out of the hole in the cushions at them all. “Now, the lot of you, get out of here and just … just give me time, okay? I get you two were suffering from a lack of self control and weren’t thinking straight, but I said no. I have enough problems with Mares not bothering with my feelings on getting physical to not have my … assistant and her new best friend trying to do the exactly that to me, especially after I helped get you two unstuck from each other!”

Before Spine could argue back, she felt the familiar tingle of Dusk’s magic surrounding her, and whipping her head around, she could see the same purple-red aura surrounding Fluttershy and Applejack, both wearing round-eyed looks of shock, and the outraged squawking from what sounded like the kitchen confirmed Rainbow Dash had been snagged too. Knowing all too well what was about to happen, Spine merely closed her eyes and prayed she wouldn’t be too sick this time as the uncomfortable sensation of the between, the realm where Dusk’s teleportation briefly deposited its victims as it turned here into there and found herself … at home?

Blinking and trying to stand proved too problematic, her stomach rebelling at the mere thought of trying to get up onto her own feet, but the three Ponies who had come along for the ride thankfully didn’t share her sensitivity to teleportation, jumping to their feet and shouting in surprise, or in the case of Fluttershy, wrapping herself fully in her large wings and assuming the form of a very large, very feathery egg of yellow and pink.

They were in Canterlot, as the towering spires of marble and purple, black and gold conical roofs could easily attest, and given they were sitting on grass so green you could mistake it for raw emeralds, Spine knew exactly where Dusk’s teleportation had landed them, and how many alarms it would have triggered in the process.

“Well … I suppose this solves a great many problems.” The sick feeling in Spine’s belly turned cold as that familiar, if unusually frigid, voice wrapped around her like the hands of doom. “Spine, sweetie, when I said you could bring your friends over anytime, I did not mean like this.”

Turning slowly, mostly out of fear that moving too quickly could see Spine’s lunch violently exploding all over the golden sandals of the Princess of the Sun, which were currently the ground zero of grassy genocide as waves of heat began to yellow, then blacken the grass around those immaculate feet, as a gnawing feeling the lecture she had received such a short time ago would be nothing to the one she’d be enduring shortly, Spine raised watery eyes up to the terrifying visage of her mother glaring down at her with arms crossed under her substantial bosom and a golden nail tapping angrily at the nearly-translucent silk of her flowing garments, with both of her massive white wings flared out for all to see in a clear demonstration of agitation, all of which surrounded by a heat-distortion worthy of the most sun-blasted deserts of Saddle Arabia.

“H-hey mom …” The Drake began nervously, hoping that somepony, anypony, would speak up and give her at least a few minutes of reprieve, but both Applejack and Rainbow Dash were face-down on the grass on their knees, trembling in place, and Fluttershy had somehow managed to form an even smaller ball and rolled herself behind a carven granite bench. “Uhm … funny story?”

“Oh, you’ll have all the time in the world to tell me about it, sweetie. But first, let’s try this one.” Celestia unfolded her arms and the concealed hand emerged, holding a piece of parchment that looked like it was stained purple in places and held a familiar, if uncharacteristically sloppy-looking, spidery script that Spine knew all too well belonged to Dusk. “Now, my darling daughter, if you’d please help mommy out here … start with why on Equiss I shouldn’t ground you for the next century?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Morning dawned for Shining Armor in a weird way.

For starters, he wasn’t in his small room in the castle, which panicked him for a moment before realizing that he’d gone and gotten special permission to go visit his family for an evening, a request that had gotten him some strange looks until Captain Sunbeam stuck his head out of his office, shouting “Cadence Syndrome.”

Then Ponies all over the room started wincing and offering Shining their best wishes … and condolences. His papers had been stamped in rapid order, several promises to keep ‘the pink menace’ distracted had been made and Shining had snuck out of the castle with the aid of a member of the cleaning staff who had hidden him in a cart of dirty bed-sheets.

The second thing that made the morning odd was watching his mother pinning Cadence to the front lawn with a reverse pretzel wrestling move that had Shining’s back aching in sympathy, while his father appeared to be arguing with a group of flustered-looking Royal Guards.

While the windows were enchanted to muffle sound, Shining could quite clearly make out his mother swearing like an Orcish sailor and his father demanding the Royal Guards pay for the damages to the front garden, and then take the Princess back to the castle.

The sun was also a weirdly red shade today. The last time he’d seen that happen had been nearly ten years ago, when he’d just joined the Royal Cadent Regiment to see if he had the ‘stuff’ to become an actual Royal Guard. Then, the Regent of Oliphantia had told Princess Celestia she was fat in the middle of an international summit. It had also been the last time Oliphantia had had a Regent, and that Regent had had to have their tusks removed surgically from a rather awkward place of their anatomy.

Probably going to get the mother of all lectures if I don’t get back into work, ‘Cadence Syndrome’ or not. Shining thought to himself glumly as he watched Twilight Velvet sling Cadence up into the air, spin her around several times and then pile-drive the Princess of Love into a patch of freshly-composted roses, screaming obscenities all the while. And I should probably mention Cadence might need to get tested for Legionnaire’s disease while I’m at it from all the wet fertilizer she’s been violently introduced to. It’s a good thing she’s immortal, because I’m fairly certain a normal person would have had their head pushed into their chest cavity by that move...

It hadn’t always been like this. Once, Cadence had been sweet, lovely, a mare far, far out of his league but a good friend anyways … and then her powers kicked in, and kicked in hard. An already intense mare with far too much fascination in other beings’ relationships turned into the Fiendish Queen of all things Shipping, and then …

Shining shuddered as he remembered the day Cadence had been babysitting Spine and Dusk while his parents were out for the evening, and somehow she’d found the box of love-letters that Shining had written, but never had the courage to actually give to Cadence, either out of crippling embarrassment or his understanding that even the most heartfelt feelings couldn’t bridge the impassable gulf between their social positions.

And after that, the entirety of Cadence’s focus had been on him. At first it had been flattering, a literal dream come true, but the intensity, the overwhelming obsession with spending as much time as she could around him, with him, touching him, had rapidly turned his love into a deep-rooted fear of the Princess. And despite Princess Celestia trying to intervene from the sidelines, nobody had done anything when Shining had tried to tell Cadence to stop, but she’d kept coming on strong.

It was the status quo for a stallion to accept such an aggressive courtship, and when he’d refused to bow, both to the social pressure of centuries of ‘normality’ and his friends drifting away for fear of being tarred with the same brush, the strain had almost broken him.

Almost, but not quite. Signing on with the Royal Guard, and having his mother, an former Justicar herself, leaning on certain individuals to ignore a Pink Princess’s pleas about what duties Shining ‘should’ be doing, and Princess Celestia herself, as Shining had later learned, adding the full force of her divine influence and wrath to his mother’s pleas, had helped Shining take back control of his own life again, given him back the measure of his own self worth and put him under the guidance of individuals who answered only to one Princess, and that was a Princess whose control, whose grip on order, chivalry and Harmony was legendary.

Excluding her … carefully managed indiscretions with the higher-ranked Royal Guards, Princess Celestia had been a literal Faust-send to Shining and his family, especially when Twilight had somehow turned herself into Dusk and hatching a Dragon in the process. Even with his mother’s pension from the Justicars and the money his father brought home from being a Royal Astrologer, there had been no way in Tartarus that the family could have afforded to fire-proof their house or provide the sheer volume of gemstones a growing dragon required for proper nutrition.

Also having relatively close connections with the Bringer of Day and Night did wonders for keeping certain odious facts of life in Canterlot at a distance. Uppity Nobles wanting to buy the house due to its proximity to the Noble Districts found themselves eyeball to eyeball with the Princess’s personal staff and pointedly told to ‘sod off’, the Sisterhood had attempted to ‘lay claim’ to the family to make sure they were ‘suitable’ for close interaction with the Princess before the Justicars came down in force for ‘tea-time’ with Velvet, and having a hundred or so heavily armed and armoured Mares of all four tribes glaring at you hard enough to cause spontaneous combustion from behind their tea-cups had quickly put the Canterlot Chapter of the Sisterhood onto the back-foot and they’d never made a serious attempt since.

And the one time some group of fanatical Dragon-Hunters had kidnapped Spine … well. The Princess had certainly paid for the restoration project out of her own pocket, but there was still some trepidation about moving into a city block that had been recently demolished by an outraged Sun-Goddess bellowing “MOMMY’S HERE, SWEETIE!” while throwing aside chunks of building larger than herself and screaming, terrified kidnappers as she tunnelled through the old apartment complex to get to her ‘baby’.

Turning his attention back from the sky and towards the front yard, Shining watched as a very dirty and dishevelled Cadence was carried away by the Royal Guards, bound and gagged with what looked like a gardening hose, and his parents … were waving goodbye to the Royal Guards. Or at least, his mother was. His father was simply looking at his beloved moon-roses and weeping softly at the destruction Cadence’s short-lived tenure as a garden ornament had wrought in his small, humble dominion.

No. No two ways about it, getting involved directly with the Alicorns has messed my family up something awful. Twilight got turned into a Stallion, mom was forced to retire early due to some ancient law involving Justicars and their children both being involved with the Thrones and dad has to deal with his entire family being wrapped around Celestia’s finger, and she’s his boss ontop of all that.

And yet, he’d sworn an oath of service to that same Princess, Immortal and all-powerful as she was, and had promised a good, honourable soldier that Shining would take up the thankless mantle of Captain of the Royal Guard.

Sighing heavily, Shining rolled away from the window, got out of bed, and prepared himself for another day in Canterlot, and all the madness it brought with it, reminding himself again and again he wanted this, and now that it was all coming at him on a silver platter, he’d best make sure he could handle it as well.

Chapter 16: The morale shall continue until the beatings improve!

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Chapter 9: Any situation can be solved with a well-aimed party cannon.

Chapter 9:

Pinkie bounced her way through Ponyville, waving and smiling and handing out bite-sized versions of her latest creation, triple-layered chocolate and vanilla biscuits separated by a thin layer of brandy-caramel cream.

And judging from how Ponies started vibrating after a single bite, or started rushing to Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie was fairly certain she’d created another winner.

The sales of which would help the Cakes with their mortgage and the loans they’d taken out to keep the bakery afloat. And if the bakery wasn’t repossessed and the Cakes could keep making money, it would mean Pinkie wouldn’t become homeless. Again.

Which would mean Pinkie could keep planning parties and making new delicious treats to keep everyone peppy and happy and coming back to buy more food off of the Cakes, which meant they could pay off more of their debts, and Pinkie could buy new ingredients to make new delicious treats, which would continue to draw more ponies in, over and over again.

It was the Cycle of Pinkie, and Pinkie was feeling good about how the cycle was progressing.

Up until she hit the fresh produce side of the market stalls and found Applejack being mobbed by a group of excited Mares. Whatever was happening, it appeared to have something to do with the new, and waaaaaaay too small, shirt that Applejack was wearing, and the new stallion in town, given that the only words that were easy to understand over the shouting and squawking were ‘Shirt’, ‘Mine’ and ‘Dusk’.

“Hey, Lyra, what gives?” Pinkie asked loudly, pointing to Applejack, who was vigorously trying to get the mob to move away from her stand and was not having much luck with her struggle as dozens of hands reached out to try and grab her shirt.

“Turns out Rainbow Dash crashed into Applejack while she was talking to the new horn-head in town.” The green-skinned mare sighed and rubbed at her temples in frustration. “Most of the town saw it happen, and knows that it’s not Applejack’s fault that Dusk ended up face-first in-between the Apple Mountains, but …”

“Oooh, oooh, you mean her butt-cheeks? I mean, she’s got one of the biggest pair in town.” Pinkie interrupted, going a little bit pinker as she imagined that.

“…Noooooo? I meant her breasts.” Lyra gave Pinkie a long-suffering look before continuing. “So, anyways, after ripping the front off of Applejack’s shirt with his horn while trying to get away, this stallion-.”

“You’d call her breasts Apple Mountains, really? I would have called them, uhm … well, we can’t call them melons, because apple-melons sound silly … oooooh, that gives me a great idea for a new fruit tart filling!”

“Pinkie Pie. Do you want me to tell you what happened or not?”

“Oooooone second … okay, written down. Now, please continue.” Pinkie mumbled, pulling a notepad out from her cleavage and writing down her thoughts before looking up and giving the irritated-looking lime-green mare a brilliant smile as she flipped the cover of the notepad back into place and tucked it back between her jiggling bosom.

“Ugh. Rainbow crashed into Applejack and smushed her together with the new Stallion. Stallion’s head ended up inside her shirt. Stallion panicked and ran away screaming, taking most of the shirt with his horn, and Applejack chased him through the markets for a good five minutes before the Stallion’s bodyguard clotheslined her and then Mayor Mare came running up, shrieking at the top of her lungs.” Lyra said all at once, with as more force as she could muster without shouting, holding up a hand to forestall Pinkie’s inevitable attempt to ask more questions.

“Ooooohkay! So all those mares are just … mobbing Applejack because they want Dusk Shine’s shirt? Or his measurements so they can buy him shirts? Oh, oh, is that the new socialite thing from Canterlot, buying new ponies clothing? Rarity will make a fortune, but I don’t think one stallion can wear that many shirts at once …” Pinkie became even more excited. If Rarity got more sales, she might be able to open a new shop in Canterlot … but then she got sad again as she imagined the white unicorn going to Canterlot and never coming back …

“More like they want the shirt ah’m wearin’ right now, an ah ain’t runnin’ through the town with mah goods hangin’ out ‘gain!” Applejack hollered, slapping away a hand that had grabbed for the neck of her shirt and had begun tugging franticly on the garment. “Fer Faust’s sake, back the fuck off or ah will pull out mah legs an’ start buckin’ some sense into y’all right quick-like!”

“I’ll give you fifty bits for that shirt, right here, right now, before your scent rubs all over it.” A mare shouted, waving a large, golden coin stamped with a large, stylized ‘L’ on one side, and Celestia’s face, set into a broad smile, on the other.

There was dead silence in the market before another mare shouted a bid of her own, holding up a battered linen pouch that jingled musically. “Sixty bits, in silver, and you can have my jacket to cover up!”

“Eighty bits in mixed metals, and I will talk to my husband at the bank about extending your credit some more.”

“Ninety bits, in gold, and I’ll let you set your stall up in my place, near the front of the produce areas with the heaviest traffic, for the next three months.”

“A hundred bits in silver and gold, and I’ll return the shirt for you after I’ve … finished using it.”

“Ladies, an’ ahm usin’ the term loosely here, ah ain’t sellin’ the poor stallion’s shirt to a bunch’a mares who’ll jus’ be defilin’ it, an’ ah ain’t goin’ topless an’ getting’ fined fer public indecency jus’ cause y’all got the itch.” Applejack snapped, slapping another hand away, this time hard enough to elicit a yelp of pain. “Back off, or ah’m goin’ to the Mayor an’ tellin’ her y’all are blockin’ the way to mah stall, an’ ah’ll have y’all banned from the market fer a week in accordance wit’ the local ordinance on unlawfully stoppin’ a pony from pursuin’ a legally acceptable profession, namely sellin’ mah apples.”

There was silence again for several seconds, before a mare’s hand shot up into the air.

Sighing heavily, Applejack glared at the hand for a moment before speaking. “Yeah, Cloud Kicker?”

“Did he at least pop a boner?” The infamous flirt of Ponyville asked cheerfully before the mob of mares descended on Applejack again, their questions and demands now taking a decided turn towards lewd rather than the more whining tone from before.

“Aren’t you going to help her out?” Lyra asked, taking a half-step back as the mob crushed around the farm-mare, who was now visible only by the tan-coloured hand waving furiously above the crowd.

“I’m going to give it a minute or two more, then I’ll bust out the Party Cannon and see how Ponies like picking confetti out of all of their orifices.” Pinkie shrugged nonchalantly as the mob heaved back and forth, and a wild-eyed Applejack scrambled out from under it on her hands and knees before yelping in pain as a hand grabbed her tail and dragged her back into the melee. “Or … maybe right now?”

“Just remember, this time, don’t aim for their faces!” Lyra shouted, turning around and running in the opposite direction as Pinkie leaned behind a conveniently-placed barrel and dragged out an cannon far too large to have been able to be hidden behind said barrel and aimed it square into the middle of the mob.

“Meh, details.” Pinkie shouted back, rushing down to the base of the ancient siege-weapon and began fiddling about in her pockets for a lighter to use on the short fuse, waiting to be lit to unload all sorts of joy-inducing mayhem on the unwitting mob before her.

Besides, now Pinkie wanted to see what was so important about that shirt, and the Stallion it came from, that would drive so many of the citizens into such a panic, and once she’d saved Applejack from being mauled by the mob, perhaps it would be time to go visit the new inhabitants of town and figure out when and what type of Pinkie Party would be suitable to welcome them to town.

And Pinkie smiled, the kind of smile that radiated such manic joy that, had the mob of mares been aware of what was brewing behind them, would have run screaming for the banal safety of their husbands and jobs as the fuse began to smoulder under the attentions of Pinkie’s lighter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mayor Mare flinched and looked up from the Weather Teams’ files as the familiar and terrifying sounds of a Party Cannon echoed in the air, and a mushroom cloud-shaped explosion of glitter, confetti and whipped cream blossomed, briefly, into the air.

For a moment, Mayor considered rushing down to the market stalls to make sure that Lord Dusk Shine hadn’t been ‘Pinkie’d’ by the second-biggest pain in her flank, but the most important visitor she’d ever entertained in her little town had said he was heading to the opposite side of town, to the Barnyard Bargain superstore.

So, in theory, he was safe, at least for now, from Ponyville’s resident Tiramisu-Toting Terrorist, and right now, with her migraine and the blubbering blue mess formerly known as rainbow Dash in leaving a wet-patch of tears on the carpeted floor of Mayor’s office to deal with, and the old political lesson of ‘what you can legally claim you had no involvement in or knowledge of can’t hurt you’ rushing through her mind, Mayor Mare turned her attention back to the files in her hands.

“So … temporary replacement for the Weather Team Captain. Thunerlane?”

Rainbow whimpered in response.

“Cloud Kicker?”

The whimpering became louder.

“Fluttershy?”

The whimpering reduced in volume and intensity.

“Snowflake?”

The whimpering changed into a low-pitched keening noise of distress.

“Yes, I thought he’d be a good pick as well. Allowing such a hard-working and determined Stallion to hold such a high-ranking position will surely help prove Ponyville is far more progressive than Canterlot believes us to be.” Mayor Mare sighed happily, reaching for the ‘approval’ stamp and the forms needed to make the temporary transferal of authority legally binding. “After all, he can’t possibly do any worse in the position than you have, Rainbow Dash.”

Rainbow merely curled into the foetal position, trembling as she imagined the skyline of Ponyville transformed into clouds shaped like dumbbells and weight-lifting trophies for weeks on end, the distant sound of triumphant “YEAAAAAAAAAH!” echoing across the sky as the Wonderbolts flew off towards Cloudsdale with a ridiculously over-muscled Stallion in their midst, wearing the skin-tight blue-and-yellow that Rainbow had coveted ever since she was old enough to understand what the word 'stunt' meant.