Chapters You wake up in your bed, hearing a voice saying your name. You reply to it, "Are you an angel?"
The voice says, "No! It's your mother from El Monte, California! Spike, get your ass out of bed and go get a job!"
You sit up groggily in your bed and say, "Fuck off mom. I just need to do some studying and I'll get into Tokara U."
Your mom yells at you and says, "Don't give me that shit! Either get a job or I'll throw you under a bus!"
Your dad says, "Spike, your grandmother's attorney just called. She left you the deed to her hotel downtown."
You scratch your head and say, "The fuck? Why would grandma leave me a hotel? Well, whatever, it's near Tokara U, so I can study and keep a job at the same time. Happy mom?"
Your mother growls at you and says, "Don't start with me Spike, you're still in the house. Your aunt Mythic Jewel works at the hotel, so go meet with her to get started. Well, why are you still here!?"
You sigh and get out of bed, get dressed, and head out to downtown Tokara. You make your way to the hotel your grandmother left you, the Hina Inn. You go to the nearby teahouse to meet with your aunt. You see her and say, "Hey aunt Jewel."
Your aunt looks up from her sweeping and says, "Oh, Spike. I didn't think you'd actually come. Let me guess, my ass of a sister kicked you out?"
You roll your eyes and say, "Please, I know my mother's not the nicest person, but you're no cupcake either."
Your aunt chuckles and says, "I suppose it runs in the family. Anyway, I suppose I should tell you a bit about the job. But first, here's some money, go get me a carton of smokes at the store."
You raise an eyebrow and say, "But... you're smoking a cigar-"
Before you can finish your sentence, your aunt jabs you in the face with the end of her broom and says, "Just get me my fucking smokes! Talk back again and I'll shove my broom right up your-"
You say, "Ok, ok! I'll get you your damn smokes! God, you weren't kidding when you said your temper runs in the family."
Your aunt's anger subsides into a smile and she says, "Good boy. Listen, I know my sister and I have been... well, aggressive would be an understatement, but still, I do care about you. Probably more than your mother does. When you get back I'll put some antiseptic on your face. Never repeat this, but you deserve a better mother than my sister. Not saying I'd be a better mother, but if I had a child like you, I'd never throw you out."
You're actually surprised about how nice your aunt is being. You'd ask if she has a fever, if it weren't for the fact she'd probably lose her temper again. You say, "Ok, I'll get you a carton and be back as soon as I can." and head off to the store. You walk up to the store and say, "Carton of smokes please."
The store owner says, "A carton's five packs, so that's 300 bits." You hand over the money your aunt gave you and the store owner gives you the five packs of smokes.
You walk back to the tea house and give the smokes to your aunt, who says, "Thanks Spike. Now, I suppose I should tell you about our residents. First there's Starlight Glimmer. She's here for study purposes, but she's got a short temper, and she'll kick your ass if you bother her enough. Then there's Berry Punch, she's a stereotypical drunk, I don't think I've ever seen her sober to be honest. Still, if she's drunk enough, she'll kick your ass. Next, Screwball. She's in junior high, but she's a complete psycho, and she'll kick your ass for absolutely no reason if she's bored. Then we've got Ember. She's studying martial arts, but she's got a bit of a drug problem, and she's even more short tempered that Starlight, and if you annoy her, she'll kick your ass before you have a chance to say sorry. Rarity basically told her parents to go fuck themselves cause she didn't want to move. She's a nice girl, and she enjoys designing clothing, but don't for a second think she won't kick your ass if you cross her. Derpy Hooves on the other hand is more likely to kick her own ass, given how clumsy she is, but she'll kick your ass. Trixie is our newest resident, and she's some sort of magician. She's good at what she does in magic, and she can easily kick your ass without even touching you. And finally there's Tempest. She's an exchange student from Ferghana. I can't tell you much about her, other than the fact that she takes a sick, twisted pleasure in kicking people's asses. Basically, every girl here will have a reason to want to kick your ass at some point. Other than that, all you really need to know is how to do basic math to collect rent, and I'll take care of the upkeep."
You sigh to yourself and say, "Well, sounds like I'm going to have a lot on my hands working here."
Your aunt chuckles and says, "That's an understatement. Considering all these girls are single, you might have some fun while you're on the job. It's getting late, so why don't you go get some rest in the manager suite? I cleaned it up for you, and left some hot food in there."
You nod and say, "Thanks aunt Jewel. I'll see you in the morning."
You walk out of the tea house and go into the inn. You walk upstairs and to the room your aunt mentioned. You eat the shrimp tempura she left out for you, and set your clock for 9:00 AM. You lay down in your bed and say to yourself, "I'm managing, and living in a hotel filled with eight hot girls... Thanks grandma..." and with that you slowly fall to sleep.
You hear your alarm clock going off. You wake up and yawn while stretching out your arms. You say to yourself, "The beds here are more comfortable than I thought they'd be. Well, first day on the job... I guess I better... hmm... I don't actually know what I should do... I guess I'll go talk to aunt Jewel."
Suddenly, a voice from outside your room says, "Already up and at it Spike. I just finished cleaning the other rooms. Why don't you introduce yourself to the tenants so I can clean yours?"
You got out of bed and say, "Thanks aunt Jewel. I'll get on that." before walking out of your room and downstairs. You see a girl with beautifully curled purple hair. Based on the clothes she was wearing, you assume she must be Rarity. You walk up to her and say, "Hello, you must be Rarity."
The girl looks at you and says, "Yes, that's me. But... may I ask who you are, and how you know my name?"
You tell her, "This was my grandmother's hotel, and she left it to me in her will. I'm the new manager, my name's Spike."
Rarity smiled and said, "Oh! Now I remember, Mythic Jewel told us we'd be getting a new manager. She never mentioned anything about them being a boy though. It's nice to meet you Spike. I have to go though, I'm almost late for a fashion consult. Hopefully we can talk after I get back."
You nod and say, "I'd like that." As she walked off, you continued your way through the inn. You walk into the kitchen and see a blonde girl eating a muffin.
The girl looks over to you and says, "Oh! You must be the new manager! I never expected a boy. I'm Derpy Hooves."
You smile and say, "It's nice to meet you Derpy. My name's Spike, and yeah, I'm the new manager."
Derpy smiled, and you noticed she had crossed eyes, no wonder she was more of a danger to herself than you. "It's nice to meet you Spike. I'll see you around.
You walk out to the lobby and see a girl passed out on one of the couches. She reeks of alcohol, and you remember that your aunt Jewel mentioned one of the tenants was a drunk, so that must be Berry Punch. You remember what your dad would say when you were growing up, 'let a sleeping dog lie' and walk away. You suddenly hear a voice yelling, "Look out!" and see a girl with a propeller hat flying upside down towards you.
When the girl crashes into you, you moan in pain, asking her, "I'm assuming based on the way you just defied the laws of physics, you must be Screwball. I'm Spike, the new manager." As soon as she gets up and confirms it, you walk away saying, "I don't know what to be more worried about, the complete insanity of that girl, or the fact that she can defy the laws of physics... Thanks a lot grandma."
As you walk back upstairs, you feel something rush by your head, and you look over to see a throwing knife that got stuck in the wall behind you. You see a girl in a turquoise Gi who yells at you, "That was a warning you pervert! Now get out of here before I throw another at your crotch!"
You gulp and say nervously, "A-Actually, I'm the new manager of this place."
The girl's eyes widened and she gave a small bow and said, "Apologies, the last time a boy was on the grounds, they were peeping on us in the springs, so I must have jumped to a false conclusion. I'm Ember. Charmed." she then grabbed her throwing knife and pulled out some bits and told you, "Here, sorry I scared you. Also, this is part of the payoff I had with the old manager. As long as I do them in my room or off grounds, I can use drugs."
You nod and say, "I'm not going to argue with that." and continue walking. While you were looking at your clipboard, you accidentally bump into a girl with books. "Oh, sorry! You must be Starlight Glimmer, I'm Spike. I'm the new manager, but I'm also a student at Tokara U, so we might be class-"
The girl picked up her books and said, "Yeah, new manager, whatever. I've got a lot of studying to catch up with, so we can talk about the rent later." and kept walking past you.
As you go down to the lobby again, you see a girl with a cape and magician's hat who says, "Behold and be amazed by the magic of the Great and Powerful Trixie!" before you could say anything, she pulled out three clear plastic and some balls of tin foil. "The Great and Powerful Trixie will amaze and astound you with her great feats of magic!" You decided her magic trick looked interesting, and decided to watch. The balls of tin foil were moving so fast that even though the cups were clear, you could barely tell where they were going. When she finished, she picked up the cup in the middle and underneath it was a baseball.
Trixie tossed the baseball at you, but rather hard, so you duck, and as the ball goes out an open window, you hear a crash and a voice saying, "Ow! Trixie, you're gonna pay for that!"
Trixie flinched at the voice and said quickly, "The Great and Powerful Trixie claims no liability for injury of spectators, and following her better judgement, the Great and Powerful Trixie declares this show is officially over!" and with that she ran off as a girl with dark pink hair and a scar over her eye came in.
The girl growled, clenching the baseball in her hand. You gulp when you see the girl squeeze the baseball so hard that it crumples like a piece of paper. She glares at you and asks, "You. Whoever you are, don't care, which way'd the magician go?" You gulp once again and point towards the front door. As the girl walked towards the door she stops and turns around looking at you again and asks, "A... boy? Hmm. Well, this place was becoming an oyster bar. Maybe I'll have fun with you. We'll just have to see. Name's Tempest, remember it"
As the girl walks out of the front door, you blush fiercely and fall back into the armchair behind you. You say quietly to yourself, "Grandma, if you can hear me up there, tell me... what did I do to deserve this?"
Getting to Know the Girls
It was another new day, you got out of bed and headed into the kitchen. When you got there, you saw that the lights were off and wondered if you needed to have your aunt replace them. Suddenly, the lights turn on and all the tenants are there, yelling, "Surprise!"
Rarity quickly pulls you into a chair and says, "We do this with all the newcomers, and considering you're the new owner, we thought we'd throw a little welcoming party for you."
You smile lightly, "Oh, that's very nice of you."
Tempest rolls her eyes and said, "I still can't believe a boy is in charge of an all girl's dormitory."
Ember was busy sniffing airplane glue to say anything, but smiled at you, hiding the glue behind her back as you looked over to her.
Berry Punch was obviously drunk and said, with a slight slur, "Let's get this party started!"
For the next few hours, you and the girls talked for a while, and you surprisingly found something in common with a few of them. For one thing, Ember was surprised when you told her you were pro-legalization. She told you, "Maybe sometime you and I can light a j once in a while."
Rarity had shown you some of her men's designs and offered, "Perhaps I can make an outfit for you sometimes Spike. I think you have an eye for fashion." which wasn't far from the truth, but you were a bit concerned about how pricey her designs looked before she said, "Free of charge, I suppose it could possibly be a form of my rent?"
Berry Punch cracked open a can of Apple Acres hard cider, and when you asked for a can, she said, "Another fan of the Apple Family's delicious cider? Can't say I blame you." before handing you a can.
Derpy Hooves offered you a muffin, and when you picked out a jam filled one, she smiled, "Those are my favorites. As a little girl I used to suck the jam out with a straw."
You told her, "I used to do the same thing" and she giggles.
Tempest had been silent for most of the entire party, so you decided not to disturb her.
Two hours later...
After the party had gone on for a while, you found yourself getting closer to your tenants. You headed up to your room to start studying for your next test, and found a note that said, "Meet me in the springs, alone at 2:30" You think yo yourself, "Who would want to meet at the springs that late at night?" You shrug it off and continue studying.
As the day went by, you actually got more studying done with Starlight than you did alone, saying to her before she left, "Thanks, some of this stuff was a lot easier with your help. My parents would never have been such great help."
Starlight smiled at you, "No problem Spike. Hey, I was thinking about getting some sushi over at Kawasaki's Diner. You want to come with me?" before blushing ever so lightly, "Th-This doesn't count as a date."
You widen your eyes a bit, as well as blushing lightly, "I never said it was a date, but ok." before getting up and following Starlight into town and to the Japanese diner. You ordered the shrimp tempura rolls with a glass of cola. After you'd finished, you said to Starlight, "This place is pretty good, I haven't had sushi like this since I moved to Tokara."
Starlight nodded as she slurped up the last of her lo mien, "It really is a good place. I've got the check, you should get back to the hotel, your aunt Jewel was looking for you."
You tell her, "Thanks, I bet she wants me to get her some smokes." before standing up and walking back to the hotel, picking up a carton of smokes for your aunt. "Hey aunt Jewel, I got you a carton."
Your aunt looked up from her sweeping and said, "Oh, thanks, but that's not why I called you. Derpy said she saw a raccoon in the springs, can you try and get rid of it. Here, use this." before handing you a pistol.
Your eyes widened, "The fuck? You expect me to shoot the thing?"
Your aunt nodded, "Unless you want to get rabies, I suggest you kill it."
"Good point." you say, before walking to the springs, checking if anyone is bathing before going in, looking for the raccoon. The gun was shaking in your hand, and you knew you were a crap shot. As the raccoon scurried out of a hole it had made in the fence, you shot at it, emptying the gun of all the ammo. You managed to kill the raccoon, with the last bullet. "Man I have terrible aim."
When you took the gun back to your aunt, she said, "I heard six shots, how hard can it be to kill a raccoon?"
You growl, "If you haven't noticed, I'm a crap shot, I can't even aim a BB gun properly."
Your aunt chuckled, "You get that from your mother, when we were teenagers, we were hunting for ducks, he aim was so bad that the bullet ended up bouncing off a road sign and hit her in the leg. That's why she walks with a limp these days."
"I always wondered why she limps. Well, I guess the raccoon problem is taken care of. Anything else I need to do?"
Your aunt shook her head, "No, nothing else. Why don't you go make yourself some dinner? Oh, and leave the raccoon corpse out by the that chopping block out back."
You shuddered to think what your aunt was going to do with that raccoon, but nodded and took it there before making yourself some Ramen. You looked at your watch and said, "Should I really go to the springs like that note said?"
There was a voice in your head saying, "This is a bad idea", but it was overshadowed by a louder voice saying, "NAKED GIRLS!" and decided to go to the springs.