Chapters What the Fuck just happened!?
It had been over a hundred years Since she has done it, but now that she was with Luna, Celestia knew she could do it, she would finally Organize her hidden Chamber of Magical Items.
"Are you sure these are Magical Items sister?" Luna asked holding a Bucket and Sponge
"No, these are to clean the dust of the Magical items that haven't been touched in over a century."
"And why haven`t they been cleaned in a century?"
"Because.."
"Because why?"
"Because its at least a 2 Pony job and every time I got someone to do it with me they`d steal one of the artifacts and use it or sell it or do something stupid with it!"
"Why didn't you just say that"
"Cause I'm the Princess.....I should be able to stop stupid burglaries from happening when I'm in the same dam room"
"Yes...yes you should"
"You're supposed to make me feel better!"
"If you want pity and Plot-kissing go talk to the Nobles. otherwise your stuck cleaning with me" Luna said as she looked at the huge mess in front of them. Celestia sighed
"Fine... let's get sta..." Suddenly in a flash of light a Portal appeared on the wall in front of them, the two stood in stunned silence and as a Dog walked matter of factually out of the portal and stared Luna down it took 3 steps towards her, then did a couple of sidesteps until it was next to a small pile of what looked like a bunch of broken Picture frames. The Dog raised it's paw and lightly touched a Picture frame, then Smacked it with tremendous force, cutting the pile in-half, the top half slammed back down on the bottom half and the entire pile collapsed, with a small clinking sound a Glowing yellow Ball with 2 Halo on its side rolled out of the pile and at the Dog's Paw's. the Dog then opened it's mouth and spat what looked like a slimy note on the ball, then swatted it to Luna, the Dog then Took one more step forward, Luna moved to lean over and grab the ball, but as soon as she did the Dog turned and bolted back into the portal, which disappeared as soon as the Dog was fully through it. Luna looked at Celestia, who shared her confused expression, then picked up the ball, removed the note and read it out-loud
"This ball has the power to destroy eny any Reality, and the Power to Create any reality....Take it to Ponyville and show it t wo every onePony who's in the castle. And Bring Dog Biscuts Biscuits! Lots of Love, your Future self/Time Dog"
"Look's Like I Don't have to help clean after all!" Luna said happily as she left the room leaving Celestia to just stand there and try to piece together what had just happened.
"What the Fuck just happened?" Celestia asked the empty room of magical artifacts
I took Luna 30 Minutes to Get to Ponyville, She wanted to take her time getting there in the hope that Celestia would find something better to do and she wouldn't have to help her clean, so she had opted to fly instead of teleport, she landed at the front door of the Castle and entered she was meet with a Strange Sight, Spike and Fluttershy attempting to drag an extremely muddy dog into a tub of Soapy water.
"Come on Winona...I promised I'd have you cleaned before Applejack got back" Fluttershy tried to reason with the dog, but once she saw Luna she squeaked and her grip slipped enough for Winona to escape, Winona ran down the hall deeper into the castle.
"Dah! I'm gonna have to clean that" Spike muttered before turning to Luna "um Sorry Princess...Twilight is currently out helping Rarity with some new Designs."
"oh no," Luna said "It would appear I am here for you and Fluttershy
"say what now?" Spike asked
"Well, you see...."
"....and that is why I am here." Luna finished to a befuddled Fluttershy and Spike
"what the hell does a...Time dog want with us?" Spike asked
"Spike language." Fluttershy interjected "I'm sure the Time dog saw something in the future that only the four of us could solve" Spike and Luna were silent for a moment
"I'm sorry four?" Luna asked
"The Dog said to show it to the eveypony you meet in the Castle... that would be me, Spike, and Winona."
"Oh Sh.....shoot" Spike suddenly said "Winona's still running around the castle" Luna looked at the trail of Mud the dog had left behind
"Find that pooch!" Luna said as the three Went down the hallway, they heard a bark and with a might jump Winona knocked Luna down and ran out the door.
"dammit," Luna said then noticed the fact that she was no longer holding anything "DOG DAMMIT!! THAT'S NOT A TOY!!" Luna screamed, "Get her before she activates it!!" Spike raced after her on all four's while Luna and Fluttershy flew after her. Spike Started to gain on her
"I gotcha now," he said triumphantly and reached for her just as she jumped over a fence, witch Spike promptly crashed into. Spike proceeded to swear loudly
"Spike, language," Fluttershy said as she stopped to help extract him from the now broken fence, Luna flew down and tackled the dog, she ended up on her back, Fluttershy landed next to Luna and tried open Winona's mouth. unfortunately they had neglected to tell Spike they had caught her and he ran full speed into the three of them, after a second they ended up all laying in a pile groaning, With Luna, Spike, and Fluttershy all stuck together, and Winona on top, Winona gave the ball one last little chomp then dropped it. it proceeded to roll off Fluttershy and hit Spike on the head, hit Luna's horn then the Halo's on the side snapped into place and the ball began to glow. Winona once again decided she wanted it and leap off the three to grab it, the trio all reached out and managed to just grab her back leg's as she chomped down on the ball. and with a loud explosion and flash of light. Winona was sitting in a circle of singed grass.
"What happened?" she Barked "Whered my playmates go?" Suddenly her eye's turned light blue
"Who said that? where am I" Luna asked, Winona's eye's then turned Green and her lip's seemed to have sharp teeth fused with them
"I have the strangest scene of Deja vu" Spike said, before Winona's eye turned Pink
"Oh, my...are you in my head?"Fluttershy looked at her paw's and at the same time 4 voices all Screamed 4 different things
Spike" WHAT THE FUCK!"
Luna"Oh Dammit all"
Winona"Where are you all at?"
Fluttershy "Oh dear...Spike Language"
Author's Note
Winona/FLuttershy's eye are Pink and not Blue because it's easier to deal with in the long run than to have 2 of the 4 have the same eye color.
"OK let's just calm down" Luna's voice echoed threw the Dog's mind as Spike(now in control) was running from Tree to Tree
"What's wrong with being a Dog, You get to play all day! and Now we get to play all day together!" Spike took control and Ran as he Continued to scream
"OK....so where all Dog's now" Luna said
"Where all the same Dog now" Fluttershy corrected
"Where all Winona now" Winona correcred
"GEAAAHHHH!!" Spike added helpfuly
"Spike please stop" Luna asked
"WHY ARE YOU NOT PANICKING WERE ALL STUCK IN A DOG!!! YOUR STUCK IN A DOG!!! HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSE TO MOVE THE MOON!?!" Spike asked panicking, still running
"SPIKE! STOP RUNNING!" Fluttershy suddenly yelled, shocking Spike enough for him to spin to a stop.
"OK...you good?"
"Yeah..I'm all panicked out" Spike sighed as Luna took control of Winona and made their way back to the castle. there they meet Twilight trying to solve the conundrum of the Muddy castle.
"Dangit Spike...I told you to make sure she did't track any mud in here" She said before noticing Winona. "Speak of the Devil."
"Devil?" Winona asked But Twilight continued.
"Spike is in so much trouble for this" She lit her horn...but nothing happened she seemed shocked "Hm? odd that should have teleported me to Spike?" She looked around, before Luna/Winona could react Twilight had Grabbed her by the collar. "Might as well finish his job"
"STOP ACTING LIKE I WAS THE ONLY ONE THERE!!!" Spike suddenly yelled "FLUTTERSHY WAS HELPING TO!"
"Wait!" Winona interjected "is that....A BATH!! NOOOO!! RUN AWAY!!" Winona took back control and with a fierce Shake, Ditched her collar and ran. Twilight sighed as She ran out the door.
"Dammit, I have to much to do today to deal with this."
Luna "Winona stop!"
Winona "NO NO NO,YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE"
Spike "I was a Dog once...and I remember bath's sucking as a Dog....RUN GIRL RUN!!"
Fluttershy "Spike don't encourage her!"
Winona "To Late I have been encouraged!!
"Why are we here?" Luna asked
"If I stay hided long enough they usually give up and go to sleep" Winona replied
"I changed my mind!" Spike declared "Just accept the little bit of Suckeyness and move on"
"Never" Winona shot back. they ended up stuck under the hay for a solid 8 hours.
It took a long time but Fluttershy finally managed to take control and left the barn..only to find it was still daylight
"Wait...the sun was suppose to set over 2 hours ago"
"Well I am here" Luna replied "So that is most likely why" Winona made her way down to Ponyville and found the town in a Panic. Pinkie ran past holding a Megaphone
"FLUTTERSHY!? PRINCESS LUNA?" She yelled as she walked past.
"Nice to see them worrying about my disappearance" Spike muttered. They made their way down to the street and Found Celestia and Twilight talking
"......so she left to talk to whoever was in the castle"
"So some time dog abducted Fluttershy and Luna...if Spike had actually been doing his job he probably could have warned us but no...he's out Gallivanting with Winona or something"
"you know what...fuck you Twilight " Spike said angrily.
"Spike Language" Fluttershy said as Luna took control and tried to think of a good way to make their presence know. Celestia looked around and saw the Purple eyed dog
"There!" She yelled, much to Everyponies shock "That Dog....it's eye glow with magic!"
"Oh....shit!" Luna Barked as she backed away, only for Celestia to put up a Barrier behind her.
"What have you done with my sister?" She said in a Voice overflowing with menace. Thinking Fast, Luna Gasped and pointed to behind Celestia, Celestia and everyother pony turned to look, and Luna Booked it
"How did that work?" Fluttershy asked
"There has never been a Time where that hasn't worked for me" Luna replied as she ran she heard the sound of a Town full of angry Ponies and 2 Princesses behind them, Luna had an Idea "Lets try THIS!"
"Wow!" Winona said "So pretty!"
"Is this safe?" Fluttershy asked
"Well....I don't really..." Luna started but then Celestia's yell rang out,
"Don't let that Dog go threw that Portal" In an Instant Spike took over
"FUCK SAFETY" He yelped and Jumped threw
Author's Note
What a horrible misunderstanding
For the first time, all four were thinking of the same thing at the same time
"GEAAAAHHH!!!" They all screamed as they shot through the swirling Vortex
"WHO'S IDEA WAS THIS!?" Spike screamed
"YOUR'S" all the other's replied
"....WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP ME!?" Spike yelled back when suddenly they slowed to a crawl
"I think we're about to exit," Luna said.
"Where will we....we.....oh my Celestia!" Fluttershy stuttered out when she saw what was in-front of them.
Their Vortex had brought them to an empty room, Winona landed on the ground and looked around at Hundreds of Millions of different paths. all different, some were different color's, some were a multitude of different color's, some were swirling in different directions, some were Bigger or Smaller, some were Different shapes.
"Spike turn us around" Luna commanded
"Well, I would...but.."
"But what?"
"It seem's Winona's back in control" Spike replied. There was silence
"Winona..."
"Look at all the pretty lights!" Winona yipped happily and ran across the room, as they ran past more and more portals...more and more began to appear.
"WINONA STOP!!" Fluttershy yelped, Winona slid to a stop
"What?" She panted happily
"I need you to calm down, be a good dog, and turn around." Winona turned around, and they where met with a wall.
"We....were's the rest of the room!?" Winona asked in surprise. Fluttershy took over and took a step back, with every step...the wall seemed to never get any further away, She walked towards it, and the Wall never seemed to get any closer.
Spike "FUCK!"
Fluttershy "Language"
Winona "I'm sorry...the light's all look so pretty...and I've never got to see this many colors before."
Luna "Sigh...ok we need a plan"
Spike/Winona "Panic?"
"This isn't our portal...but none of these look like the one we came in threw....so I guess we just have to hope this one doesn't take us too far from home" Fluttershy took a deep breath and Jumped. They Flew threw the portal Fluttershy screamed and Spike took over...also screaming. Suddenly they flew out of the portal to the center of Ponyville, Spike looked up, took a breath of fresh air...then fell into a fit of coughing, the air was full of dust and smoke.
"What the hell?" Luna asked."This look's like ponyville."
"But something is wrong with it," Fluttershy said as they looked around. Sugar cube corner was gone, in its place stood a Rinky-dink grocery store. there were no stalls in the market and the streets were almost empty. Spike approached the Store and looked at a large poster that was in the window, several other Posters could be seen in several other places around the street. it Was an enlarged Picture of The Equestrian flag, with a simple caption on it, Celestia Need's You! Enroll in the Equestrian Military today.
"What the hell?" Luna asked, taking charge of the body, she walked across the street to look at some of the other Posters. they all Read different things some telling to donate for the Military, others warning of the danger of bombs. "Wait...Bombs?" Luna asked "Where...When are we?"
"I have no idea" Spike replied.
"This place smell horrible" Winona whined taking control, "Let's go home and get food"
"Wait who's home?"
"Mine" Winona replied as she made her way down to Sweet Apple Acres. a cart passed them then stopped.
"That one will do" The Pony in the cart said. Winona had no time to react to the pony, he lassoed the Dog and Bubbled her in a spell. Spike Swore, Fluttershy told him off, and Luna looked at their capture, He was a Guard. he Looked at Winona.
"A little scrappy, but that's good, we need more small ones, make good Rescue Dog's." The pony Levitated an empty crate over and Placed Winona in it, his horn lit once more
"We need to get out of here..." Luna started, but the colt blasted Winona with a Sleeping spell, and the Dog was out like a light.
Author's Note
Confused? good.
Once again they woke up with a start, this time there Kennel was on a Train next to Shining, who was reading through a book, But Their immediate attention was on the muzzle around their mouth.
"Fuck," Luna and Spike said in unison, followed immediately by Fluttershy saying
"Spike Language."
"I knew it!"Spike yelled out "You are only doing that to me!" Winona meanwhile was whining about the muzzle.
"But I'm a Good girl." She wined "I'm a Good girl" Luna took a breath and tried to restore order to their mind.
"Ok, lets calm down, Maybe if I focus I could teleport us out."
"With what horn!?" Spike snapped back at her, Fluttershy was still trying to calm him down. Luna sighed
"We can make a Time Portal with a Bark, I'm sure we can do other stuff if we try," she said as she closed her eye's and tried to use her magic. This was followed by an Intense pain in their back. Luna stopped and moaned "What the heck was that?"
"I don't know but don't fucking do it again!" Spike said "That hurt."
"Spike, Language. But I do agree, that hurt a lot and I'd feel bad if we left Winona with Back problems once we sort this all out."
"Ow, Ow, Ow" Winona whined as Luna apologized, while this had been happening, Shining had started watching the dog, and looked on in curiosity as the Dog fidgeted around.
"What's wrong girl?" he asked, "Not enjoying your muzzle?" He smiled "Don't worry little one, It'll be off once we get back to the camp." he said giving the dog a pat on the head, Winona took control and wagged her tail.
"again, again, more pets, more play!" Winona whined as she tried to get his attention.
"This sucks," Spike said, "Winona, look out the window I'm bored"
"We're not facing a window" Winona sighed back, just a door."
"We need to figure out what's happening," Luna said, taking control "Ok, there's a war, with who, and for how long?"
"You asking us? Or the Guy who doesn't speak Dog?" Spike questioned
"Ok, fine Spike, you get his attention!" Luna shot back as Spike took control, Spike began pawing at the back of their head.
"Spike what are you..."
"This ain't my first time as a dog, and it' not the first time..." with a small snap their muzzle fell off "...I've had to take off a muzzle"
"SHOW ME!" Winnona instantly barked out.
"Later," Spike said as he slowly worked his paw through the grate and slowly undid the lock
"Spike, what the fuck?" Luna demanded, "What did you do that ended up with you knowing how to unlock a dog crate, as a dog inside of said crate."
"Long story" Spike muttered as the cage clicked open, Shining jumped in shock when the dog jumped out of the cage and dropped its muzzle on the floor.
"Fucking hate those thi...HEY! PUT ME THE FUCK DOWN!" Spike barked in anger when Shining picked them up with magic.
"Well now, a Lockpick dog?" Shinning placed the dog next to him "Look's like I got more than my money's worth." He said when the Train suddenly screeched to a halt.
"Whoa!" all of them said as they fell to the floor. "Dammit! Shining said as he got up, "Not now!"
"Wonder what he's ta..." Suddenly the door was blown off its hinges and Hit the dog
"FUCK!" Spike swore as it trapped him "FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!" He Barked as Three Ponies in odd armor walked in and turned to Shining
"Captain of the Guard, your time is up," They all said in disturbing unison as all drew swords
"Dammit," Shining said as he made a bubble around himself and drew his own sword "Tell your King he can come and kill me himself"
"Sombra has no time for such nonsense", They all said in unison
"I'm sorry Sombra!?" Luna asked
"FUCK!" Spike yelled back,
"Spike you need to calm do.." Fluttershy started when without warning the Dog's ear's started smoking. all of them, even Spike, shut up for a second
"SPIKE DON'T CALM DOWN!" Luna demanded "BE PISSED, FUCKING EXPLODE WITH ANGRY!"
"THIS DOOR WEIGHS A TON!" Spike yelled back, meanwhile, the soldiers made their way to shining, one raised his sword to strike, then screamed in pain as he was engulphed in green fire. The other two turned and found the Door nothing more than a burning pile of ash as The Dog Spat fire out of its moth uncountably
"Spike stop you'll burn down the..." Fluttershy tried but Spike was drunk with power
"DAHAHHAHA!" Spike laughed maniacally "Burn bitches, Burn! FEAR THE DOG!" Spike spat more fire until Shining was the only thing not on fire, thanks to his bubble. He stood dumbfounded as the dog finally stopped blowing fire, with a flick of his horn he blew all the fire out. "Dammit, I do all this, and he just blows it out like a candle" The Dog shook it's head "No class" Shining leaned down Picked the Dog up, "Your Welcome" Spike said angrily
"A Fire Breathing Dog," Shining said dumbfounded after a second a smile spread across his face, "I think this war is as good as ours!" Shining said as he out the Dog down and patted its head,
"I love pets!" Winona said happily taking control just a Shinning bubbled them with him
"Teleporting is banned, unless for something urgent" Shining smiled and with that they teleported to his destination
They awoke with a Start, they weren't in a Wagon anymore, they were in a Kennel.
Winona: "No! I'm a Good Girl, No Cage!"
Spike: "I FUCKING HATE SLEEPING SPELLS!"
Fluttershy: "Spike..."
Spike: "Yeah, Yeah...Language."
"Where are we?" Luna asked as she took control of the body "This place smells awful." she said as they looked around the room. "And empty, where the..." Luna stopped when a Door across from them opened, a Very Familiar pony walked through the door and looked down at them. All of them but Winona spoke in unison
"Shining?" They asked as they looked up at him, he looked worse for wear, but otherwise the same.
"She's small, looks young, she seems well fed to." Shining looked back at the Colt who had picked them off the street "You didn't steal her from some nobility, did you? Cause we have enough trouble without Blueblood whining in my ears about his fucking dog."
"No Sir, found her running around on the side of the road, no tags, no chips."
"I like chips," Winona thought as Shining Looked into Luna's eyes.
"Hm...Intelligent eyes, maybe trained before hoof..." Shining thought for a second "Sit." Instantly Winona took control and sat happily.
"I like this game," She said. Shining thought again
"Attack" he tried pointing at the Colt who had picked them off the road. Instantly Spike took over
"GLADLY!!!" Spike roared and attacked the cage, even in his dog body, Spike still had dragon spirit, Shining jumped back as Spike began trying to get out.
"Whoa!" Shining said as the Dog tried to get out "Relax." Fluttershy took over
"Spike, we talked about this." She said as she sat down "Your better than this." Spike muttered
"He's the one that asked for it." Shining looked impressed.
"Very well trained, you don't look like an attack dog, but you act like one." Shining smiled "I hope your ready little doggy, your gonna help us win this war." Shining said as he turned to the colt "Alright, I in how much do you want for her?"
"65 Bits"
"65...thats almost triple your usual price!" Shining complained as the two left the room. Luna took control of the dog and watched them leave.
"War? Where the Fuck are we?"
"I don't know, But Shining didn't look that much older, we can't be that far into the future."
"OH! so Luna can swear but I can't!?" Spike complained, "That's fair!" He looked around, "you know...this pace seems...Off." Spike shook his head "Don't know what it is tho." Luna sighed as she took a deep breath, "Lets just portal out of here before...She stopped when the colt walked back in holding a muzzle and with his horn lit.
"Oh shit," Spike said as he hit them with another Sleeping spell.
Author's Note
Next chapter will be longer, I swear
