Girl Talk

by TheNewYorkBrony

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Equestria Girls, Sex, Sunset Shimmer, Main 7 (EqG), Random, Slice of Life
Length: 7310

Talks the girls have at lunch and outside of school about sex, love, and life.

Multiple talks the girls have about different things. Subject varies from chapter to chapter. Suggestions welcomed!

Featured 3/11/18! This was a pleasant surprise after all that I've been through. Thank you!

Published 2018-03-11 02:10:07 UTC
Last updated 2018-10-17 18:27:08 UTC

The Old Razzle Dazzle

The girls were at a sleepover at Pinkie’s when Rainbow Dash brought up something the others never thought they would ever talk about. “So like, are The Dazzlings dead or what?”

“Kind of random, but probably,” Sunset answered her. “I mean we did sort of destroy their only means of obtaining sustenance.”

“Did we technically commit murder? Because that sounds like murder,” Pinkie said, biting into a slice of pizza. “I know they were evil and all, but the magic of friendship isn’t so friendshippy if it kills people.”

“Uh, what are you guys talking about?” Twilight Sparkle asked, sitting back down in her spot next to Rarity by the tv, her arms full of bottles of cider from the fridge downstairs.

“Oh, I forgot you weren’t here for that,” Sunset said, taking a bottle from her. “Well there were these girls, they were these really evil—”

“Really hot—” Dash interjected.

“—Sirens that tried to take over the school during the Musical Showcase last year. They had these gems around their necks that sucked up the negative energy people gave off when they fought. We almost lost to them.”

“Yeah! But then other you was all like, ‘Sunset we need you!’” Pinkie said, doing a small, but weirdly accurate imitation of Princess Twilight’s voice. “And Sunset took off her jacket and sung a song everyone just so happen to know the words to! And then this big giant alicorn came out of the sky and destroyed their gems!”

“Thank you for the recap, Pinkie,” Sunset told her wryly. “Anyway, after that, they just ran off stage without another word. And we never saw them again.”

Twilight adjusted her glasses. “And you guys never thought to check in on them to see if they really left town? Or are plotting some kind of revenge? These are thousands of years old beings! That probably have experience in killing people! Why didn’t you guys at least check and see if they’re human now?!”

“Hey, once we do the magic lazer crap, our part is over,” Rainbow Dash told her, waving her concern off as she let Fluttershy braid her hair.

“Is that why the statue hasn’t been fixed?” Twilight asked with a raised brow.

“Nah, that’s because Canterlot High is severely underfunded,” Applejack responded.

Rarity frowned. “What Rainbow means to say darling, is that the Dazzlings were the first case where the er, former foe didn’t stick around long enough for us to see any changes. Heaven only knows what those girls are up to now.”

“I honestly don’t want to know what they're doing,” Fluttershy chimed in. “What if Twilight’s right? What if they really are planning our demise?” she shivered, her hands moving from Rainbow’s hair to her own face. “Or,” she squeaked. “What if we really did kill them? I-I know they were meanies b-but we didn’t have to kill them!” she wailed starting to cry.

“Do you see what you started?” Rainbow growled. “Ow!” she mumbled, rubbing the arm Applejack had just punched.

“I’m sure they’re not dead,” Sunset said, facing the rest of her friends. “They’re probably just keeping a low profile for now. Things are different for them now. They don’t have their powers. They probably got some part time jobs or something.”

“The Dazzlings?” Applejack asked, eyebrow raised.

“Part time jobs?” Rarity asked, sharing her country friend’s disbelief.

“Can they even eat human food?!” Pinkie asked, stuffing a whole cupcake into her mouth. “I would hate to be surrounded by food all the time and not eat! I mean, can you imagine?! Me?! Not eating?!”

“It would solve world hunger,” Dash quipped, dodging a pillow that was thrown her way.

“Most likely,” Sunset responded, rubbing her chin. “Princess Twilight and I have to eat human food and we’re just as magical as they are,”

“Which brings us back to the whole job thing.” Twilight said, also thinking. “They probably used their mind influencing gems to coerce people into giving them financial gains. And now that they don’t have them, that isn’t exactly an option anymore. So the idea of jobs doesn’t seem so preposterous anymore.”

“Okay, but like, even if they do have jobs, it’s only Sonata and that other one. That hot leader chick, Adagio or whatever, she doesn’t look like she has or ever will work a day in her life,” Rainbow said, cringing as Fluttershy put frilly pink bows in her hair.

Sunset shrugged. “Desperate times call for desperate measures. They’ve got no gems, no one to control, and probably no money. It’s going to take all three of them, in a group effort, to bring in some cash if they’re gonna live in this world.” she said, taking a swig of cider. “When I left Equestria, I had planned it for weeks. I didn’t entirely just leave on a whim. I had no idea what this world was going to be like, so I didn’t come empty handed. I brought a few gems with me. Turns out those things are worth way more here than back in Equestria.”

She sighed. “They were dumped here by Starswirl with no plan or anything. Sure over the years they’ve probably amassed a huge fortune, but everything runs out at some point, and I guarantee, at some point, their money did.”

“So with nothing left they’d have no choice but to work,” Applejack said, finishing Sunset’s thought. “Shoot. Reality must have hit them hard.”

Rarity nodded. “Tell me about it. Centuries of getting whatever you want with a snap of your finger, all gone in an instant. And now after all that time you have to learn how to fend for yourself as nothing but a shell of your former self.”

“That’s....really dark,” Fluttershy whispered.

“But true,” Twilight concurred. “And you guys haven’t seen them around town, so they obviously aren’t homeless. Which means that Sunset and I’s hypothesis is right. They have jobs. But what kind of job exactly?”

Somewhere in downtown Canterlot, in a almost shady establishment, three girls stood behind a curtain, barely dressed in anything that could be considered clothing.

“So this is the job offer you were talking about,” Aria bit, grinding her teeth. “I should have known.”

“Hush now Aria,” Adagio told her adjusting her top that was just narrowly covering her well endowed chest. “You know we can’t go back to the life that we once had. Might as well make the best of it.”

“By becoming strippers? You’re joking,” Aria responded, her tone angry and disbelieving.

“I kind of like it,” Sonata giggled, bouncing on her feet excitedly. “It’s kind of like what we did before, except we get paid!”

Aria’s eyes narrowed. “Taking off your clothes and singing are two different things,”

“Is there really a difference now-a-days?” Adagio asked her, sighing agitatedly. “I mean honestly Aria, get with the times. Sex sells.” she finished her sentence with a fluff of her hair.

“Yeah Aria, sex sells.” Sonata chimed, trying to parrot Adagio’s move and failing.

“Ladies and Gentlemen,” A voice through a speaker called from beyond the curtain. “The Sirens!”

“That’s our cue,” Adagio said, snapping her fingers to get the girls’ on either side of her attention. “Let’s give them a show,” she smirked, stepping out as the curtain opened.

Author's Note

This was an idea in my head because like, we haven't seen them since the second movie. What are they doing? Are they normal? Do they have jobs? If they do, what kind of jobs? I want my fish girls Hasbro. Stop holding out on us.

Anyway hope you guys enjoyed and I'll see you tomorrow with another fic. Also please don't forget to support me on patreon or donate to my paypal. My mom is currently battling cancer and I'm trying to help her as best as i can while I find a job. Our goal is 800 so if anyone can help out please do. It would lift a lot of weight off our shoulders. Prayers are also valid and very much appreciated. Thank you guys for the support, and I'll see you next time! :twilightsmile:

Age Is But A Number

As the girls sat gathered around a table at the Coinky Dink Diner, Rainbow let her displeasure for an event that had taken place earlier that evening be known.

“I can’t believe I got carded for an R rated movie,” she huffed, folding her arms. “Do I not look my age or something?”

The gang had went to see a horror movie that had just came out that friday. While buying their tickets, Rainbow Dash had been asked to show I.D. and judging the sour look she had on her face since it happened, she wasn’t too happy about it.

“I don't think it’s just you,” Twilight Sparkle tried to reason with her. “It’s just a policy.”

“A policy that they only used on me,” Dash responded indignantly. “They didn’t ask any of you guys!”

“Maybe it’s because we carry ourselves maturely. Truth be told Rainbow Dash, you aren’t exactly the most, ahem, well behaved of us.” Rarity said, putting a hand on the rainbow haired girl’s.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Rainbow demanded. “Are you saying I don’t act my age?”

“Well...” Sunset trailed. “You do tend to pull pranks a lot.”

“And make childish jokes,” Applejack chimed in.

“Wha—Pinkie Pie does the same thing!” Dash protested.

“Yeah, but, that kind of stuff is expected from her.” Sunset told her, pointing to the exuberant girl who was currently piling on a mountain of whipped cream on to her milkshake.

“Well what about you?! How come you don’t get carded or whatever?!” Dash shouted, pointing a finger into Sunset’s chest.

“Because I’m actually over seventeen?” Sunset responded, confused.

“Wait, how exactly old are you, Sunset dearie?” Rarity asked, curious. “We’re all the same age except for Fluttershy. Are you older than Fluttershy?”

Sunset nodded. “I’m older than all of you.”

“Sugarcube, how old are you?” Applejack asked, leaning in closer.

Sunset pursed her lips. “I’m...five.”

Sunset’s confession hung in the air like a bad stench.

“I’m sorry, what?” Dash barked. “You’re five, and in high school?! How does that even work?!”

“Didn’t you just get your license too?” Twilight asked, her head tilted.

“Easy. I’m twenty four.” Sunset replied.

“But didn’t you just say you were five?! I know I’m bad at math but I can’t be that bad!” Pinkie Pie said, counting on her fingers. “I really gotta lay off the sugar!”

“No like, here, in this world, I’m five. But back in Equestria, I’m twenty four.” Sunset explained.

The girls around her blinked.

“I don’t get it,” Applejack confessed.

“Me neither,” Fluttershy admitted.

“Okay so basically,” Sunset said, churning her wrist, “horses in this world age faster than humans. One horse year is equal to six human years. Same thing goes for Equestria. So if I was two years old here, I would already be thirteen.”

“I’m not exactly following, Sunset,” Rarity said, eyebrows furrowing. “I thought the logic of our world doesn’t apply to yours?”

Sunset shrugged. “It doesn’t. I’m just stating it so that you can understand. Five years in horse years is twenty four human years. I look eighteen because my human counterpart is eighteen.”

“So...how old is Princess Twilight?” Twilight Sparkle asked her, tone fascinated yet confused.

“She’s also in her mid twenties.”

“I—I can’t, my brain hurts,” Rainbow groaned, banging her head on the table.

“I agree with Rainbow Dash I can’t quite wrap my head around this either,” Applejack said, blushing a little.

“Try not to think about it too much. We’d be here all night if you did. There’s no exact science to it. Equines just age faster than humans. But because this world is constricted to the laws of its own reality, the portal physically changes your outward appearance to replicate the age of your counterpart.”

“Fascinating!” Twilight gasped. “So our counterparts in your world are—”

“All older, yes. Though I was a grown mare when Twilight was still a filly, so she could be anywhere between twenty and twenty two.” Sunset said, her hand on her chin. “Last time I talked to Twilight, she told me your counterparts all own businesses, and live on their own, so yeah, it’s safe to say that if they came through they’d all just look like you.”

“But what about Starlight Glimmer?” Fluttershy asked. “She seemed older than even you.”

Sunset shrugged. “That’s honestly a mystery to me. The ages don’t exactly correlate well so who knows how old any of us really are.”

Twilight rubbed her chin in thought. “Very fascinating indeed. If you were actually seventeen, at least in horse years, then you would be a gray haired old woman. But because your age has to correlate with the age of your counterpart, your body aged backward to match the human aging period of a teenager.” she clapped her hands together. “May I run some tests on your blood and DNA sometime?” she asked, hopeful.

Sunset blinked. “Weird question, but sure. I’m actually kind of curious myself what’s actually going on with my body.”

“I have no idea what’s going on!” Pinkie said, smiling.

“You and me both,” Fluttershy agreed, Rarity and Applejack nodding along with her.

“Wait, guys,” Rainbow started, slamming her hands on the table, drawing the attention of other patrons around them. “If Sunset’s twenty four, do you know what that means?”

Applejack furrowed her eyebrows. “Uh, she can rent a car?”

Dash smacked her forehead. “No! It means she can buy booze for us!”

“Rainbow I’m still a teenager on the outside,” Sunset reminded her, rolling her eyes. “Getting carded at a movie and getting carded at a liquor store are two different things,”

“Sunset’s right,” Twilight said. “She wouldn’t make it past the door.”

“Of course she would!” Dash argued, pointing at Sunset. “Yeah okay, she looks eighteen because science blah blah,” she said, churning her wrist. “But she still looks older than the rest of us! I bet with a fake ID she could get into anywhere and get us anything!”

“Anything?” Pinkie repeated, gasping.

“Anything,” Rainbow repeated back, waving her hands in a grand gesture.

“Don’t fill her mind with such grandeur,” Rarity scolded, putting her hands over Pinkie’s ears. “With her track record, who knows what she’d come up with,”

“I’m just saying,” Rainbow said, sitting back down. “She looks the part, if she acts like it, she’s our ticket into getting the things we want.”

“Such a lovely concept of friendship you have,” Rarity told her, rolling her eyes. “Besides, it’s Sunset’s choice, and I doubt she’ll—”

“I’ll do it.”

Rarity’s mouth gaped. “Sunset darling. You don’t have to—”

Sunset put her hand up to stop the fashionista before standing up. “I wanna see where this goes. Plus, I’d never pass up a chance to prove Rainbow Dash wrong. C’mon, let’s see if this works.”

Fluttershy cried into Rarity’s shoulder as they all sat in chairs at the Canterlot City Police Station. Turns out Sunset was able to prove Rainbow wrong, but had gotten all the girls in trouble in the process.

“Since you all are minors, we’re going to let your parents deal with you,” The portly officer told them gruffly.

“Gee, thanks.” Rainbow responded dryly, folding her arms. “I’m going to be grounded for a month.”

“You have no one to blame but yourself,” Applejack told her angrily. “Granny’s gonna tan my hide the minute she finds out I was trying to drink underage.”

“We’re only in this mess because you convinced Sunset she could do it,” Twilight reminded the rainbow haired girl curtly, her mouth pressed into a thin line. Didn’t matter who came to get her, whether it was her parents, her sister in law, or her brother, she wasn’t going to hear the end of it. And she had the least involvement!

“We almost got away with it!” Rainbow reasoned. “...Until she showed him her school ID.”

“Well what else was I supposed to do?!” Sunset shot at her. “He expected me to show him something to prove my age!”

“Yeah! A state license or your driver's license! Why did you think he’d want to know you were a student at Canterlot High?!” Rainbow shouted back.

Pinkie folded her arms. “I’m going to be throwing parties from my room for weeks because of this! Do you know how hard it is to throw a party for just yourself? Especially a surprise party?!”

Rarity sighed. “There goes my shopping trip to the city.” she whined, her lip trembling. “And there was so much I wanted to get for this season.” she pointed to Rainbow Dash. “This is all your fault!”

“Hey—” Dash was going to respond when her phone pinged from a text message. “No way! Flash just texted me that our favorite band is playing at a bar next month! Sunset, do you think—”

“No!”

“Urgh!”

“Absolutely not!”

“Give it a rest, Dash!”

Rainbow sat back in her seat, dejected. “Fine, jeez. What a bunch of babies.”

Author's Note

In the end I had decided to make it a chapter. Idk I felt like it felt better as a chapter. I hope you enjoyed it though. All the human horse math melted my brain. Please support me on patreon if you can, my training for my new job doesn't start until june, and i need some type of income until then. My goal is 176 a story, and im 42% of the way there. So if you can, please pledge! I've completely redone my patreon so that it's easier to pledge too! Anyway, I hope you guys liked this and I'll see you all later!

For Your Amusement (Park)

“So, just like that, we’re forgiving her?” Rainbow asked as they all sat down eating ice cream at the food court of the park after their Light Parade performance. “Even though she literally tried to use us as puppets and basically locked us in a room?”

“Technically, she didn’t lock us in there,” Twilight corrected her, blushing sheepishly. “We...just didn’t try the door,”

Sunset slammed her fist on the table. “I can’t believe we spent the entire day in there waiting to be rescued. Why did none of us think to check the door?”

“Because we didn’t know there was a door?” Dash reminded her. “Really though, I’m so tired of being zapped by magic and ending up in some room or dimension or something. Is this going to become a recurring thing? Because if it is, I'm actually considering giving up my powers,”

“You don’t mean that,” Rarity responded, smiling wryly. She handed a napkin to the pink haired drummer next to her who was currently making a mess all over the table before speaking again. “I know for a fact you don’t mean that because without it you would have been late to class every day this semester like you always were,”

Rainbow laughed nervously. “Heheh. Yeah. And as much as my parents support me in everything I do, I’m sure they wouldn’t be cool with me failing my first period class.”

“I’m just surprised she didn’t have some whole big transformation like the last couple of villains,” Applejack said, stirring her milkshake. “Don’t know if we should be happy about that either.”

“Wallflower didn’t either,” Fluttershy reminded her, nibbling on her oatmeal cookie.

“Literally who?” Dash asked, eyebrows furrowed.

“Wallflower? Wallflower who literally gave us amnesia over Sunset and almost took our memories away for good Wallflower?” Fluttershy answered her, frowning. “Am I literally the only person who remembers her?”

The other girls shook their heads and shrugged.

“You gotta be freaking kidding me,” Fluttershy mumbled under her breath, but none of the other girls seemed to hear.

“Anyway back to Vinegar—” Dash started but was cut off by Twilight.

“Vignette,”

“Vignette,” Dash corrected herself, although begrudgingly. “Why should we forgive her so easily? I know that it’s how these things tend to work, but we didn’t forgive the Dazzlings,”

“The Dazzlings were power hungry megalomaniacs hell bent on taking over the world,” Sunset told her with an eyebrow raised.

Rainbow raised an eyebrow back. “And she isn't?”

Sunset raised a finger to rebuke, but couldn’t quite seem to form the words. “Good point.”

“Girls!” Rarity hissed through her teeth. “I know what she did was wrong, but she’s still our boss!”

“She’s not mine,” Sunset asserted.

“Nuh uh!” Pinkie seconded.

“Nope,” Applejack thirded.

“Is she even paying us for this?” Twilight asked, a bit confused.

“Uh...” Rarity didn’t quite have an answer to that.

“Also, since the parade is over, doesn’t that mean your job is over?” Sunset asked.

Realization hit Rarity like a train, and she slumped over in her seat. “Oh dear! What am I ever going to do?!” she sobbed as Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie comforted her.

“Uh, not to point out the obvious,”Twilight said softly. “But don’t you work for that boutique in the city?”

“And make a ton of money off of selling your clothes?” Dash added. “Did you really only want to work here because you and Applejack were going to be working together?”

Rarity and Applejack looked at each other, and then looked away, blushing.

“Oh god, Harold they’re lesbians!” Pinkie exclaimed, slamming her hands on the table.

Twilight gave her a confused look. “Who’s Harold?”

“Silly Twilight,” Pinkie told her, patting her head, leaving the nerd even more confused than she previously was.

“Are you guys dating now or what?” Dash asked, leaning in.

Rarity’s alabaster skin flourished red and she shot up, stammering the entire time. “O-Oh I think Vignette is calling me! Ah, coming dearie!” With that she was gone, her heels clacking loudly against the pavement.

“Ah, I think she’s calling me too! I’ll see ya’ll later!” Applejack ran after her without another word.

Pinkie rubbed her chin. “I don't think Vignette was calling either of them....I think they were both faking!” She gasped, turning to Twilight.

Twilight patted her head, smiling wryly. “Good detective work, Pinkie.”

“Well that was kind of a shock. I honestly thought Dash would be the first one to come out gay,” Sunset teased with a smirk.

“Shut up,” Rainbow said, flicking a balled up napkin at her.

Author's Note

If anyones interested, im doing commssions! Support me onkofi or pm me and ill write a story for you! 10 dollars for 500 words, 15 for 750 words, 20 for a thousand words or more. ill write just about anything (within reason)! anyway support me on patreon if you can and i hope you guys enjoyed this! ill see you guys later!

Top to Bottom

Sunset was hosting yet another sleepover, and the girls were in the middle of watching yet another movie.

Rainbow was propped up against Sunset’s bed, uninterested in what was going on, her face glued to her phone, scrolling through her MyStable.

They were about halfway through when something on the screen caught her eye. She hadn’t looked up out of her own accord though, Fluttershy’s squeak and “Oh my,” had made her turn her attention to the tv.

There she saw two people kissing and about to, for a lack of a better word, do the do.

Her ears burned bright and she quickly turned away, but her actions didn’t go unnoticed by the fiery haired hostess, who slinked over to her, a cat like expression melting over her features.

“Hey, Dash, are you okay?” Sunset asked, her voice full of mirth and mischief.

Rainbow’s mouth twisted, but she answered her best friend anyway. “Yeah, I’m fine,” she said curtly, dodging Sunset’s gaze.

Sunset smirked. “You don’t seem fine to me. Are you embarrassed?” her smirk grew wider as Dash glared at her.

“No!” Dash answered way too quickly. “It’s just hot in here!”

“Pfft!” Sunset managed, giggling behind her hand. “If you say so chief,” she responded with a raised brow, going back to watching the movie.

“Huh? Eh? What’s that supposed to mean?” Rainbow asked her, pulling her arm. “What are you trying to say?”

Sunset put up her hands defensively. “Nothing, nothing.” Then to Applejack, “Hey AJ, can you open a window? I think Dashie’s getting a little hot and bothered.”

Rainbow Dash was mortified. “S-She’s lying! Haha! It’s just a little cramped in here!” she glared at Sunset. “Especially with the person sitting next to me,” she she growled. “Why don’t you go bother your girlfriend with science nerdy stuff and leave me alone?”

Sunset shrugged. “She’s watching the movie. I don’t want to disturb her.”

“Glad to see you value your girlfriend over your friends,” Dash said, eyebrow quirked.

Sunset rolled her eyes. “You know it’s not like that. But enough about me, let’s talk about you,” the glint in her eyes scared Rainbow Dash very much.

“What about me?” Rainbow asked, eyes scanning the room for a way out.

“I would have thought the most brash and, dare I say, courageous of us wouldn’t get flustered over a little fake sex,” Sunset teased. “Tell me, have you ever kissed anyone before?”

“Have you?” Rainbow shot back.

Sunset and Twilight exchanged a glance, Twilight sliding down her chair in embarrassment. She turned back to Rainbow and said, “Yeah, Flash,”

“What was that like?” Dash asked.

“Like kissing a rubber chicken,” Sunset responded flatly.

“Good to know if I ever get bored on AJ’s farm,” Rainbow said, smirking.

Sunset paled. “Please tell me you’re not actually that desperate.”

Pinkie bounced over to them and plopped down next to Sunset. “Whatcha guys talking about?” the movie had apparently ended and now the girls were intrigued by their conversation.

“Rainbow’s easily flustered by sex scenes in movies.” Sunset explained.

“Heh, what a baby,” Applejack chuckled.

“I'm not a baby!” Rainbow protested. “I just...can't really imagine myself doing anything like that with anyone. Especially like...you know...being on top of someone.”

“You know what that means, right darling?” Rarity asked. “You’re an absolute bottom.”

Sunset doubled over, wheezing as she laughed.

“A what?!” Rainbow demanded, her voice cracking. “I am not!”

“Oh honey,” Rarity told her, putting a hand on her shoulder. “You can’t even look at people having fake sex, how can you take charge in the real situation?”

“What is that anyway?” Rainbow asked. “It sounds stupid!”

“A bottom is someone who would rather receive than give,” Twilight explained. “I uh, read it in a book once,” she clarified quickly. “I am not apart of this conversation anymore.”

“A bottom sounds like a wimp! I am not a wimp!” Dash said, pointing at herself. “Wimps are losers!”

Applejack shrugged. “Guess you’re a loser then,”

“Everything you do radiates bottom energy,” Sunset told her. “Sorry but that’s the tea.”

“Like what?” Dash demanded.

“You’re not intimidatin’.” Applejack replied. “Like, at all.”

“I can be intimidating!” Rainbow Dash insisted.

“Intimidate me then,” Sunset commanded, folding her arms. “Since you’re not a bottom, you should obviously know how to take charge.”

Dash’s mind blanked. “Uh,” she started. “I...” words seemed to fail her as she looked around at the faces of her friends. “How do you even intimidate someone?!”

“See? Bottom.” Sunset said, nodding. “Accept it.”

“That doesn’t mean anything! How do you even determine something like that?” Dash was angry now. “This is so stupid.”

“Why do you have such a problem with being a bottom?” Sunset asked her. “It’s not like it’s a bad thing.”

“Embrace it, Dashie,” Pinkie told her, nodding.

“What about you guys? Are any of you one of these so called bottoms?” Dash asked, pointing at Pinkie.

“I’m a total bottom! Slap my ass and make me jiggle like jello!” Pinkie giggled as Twilight stared at her in disbelief.

“Verse,” Applejack said.

Rarity flipped her hair. “Top.”

Sunset grinned. “I’m a top. Though, if me and Twilight did anything, I don’t think I could...you know. I’d just be too shy. She’d have to take the lead.”

Fluttershy blushing squeaked out, “Verse,”

Rainbow looked to Twilight. “What’s a verse?”

Twilight put up her hands. “Again, not getting involved.”

She turned to Applejack.

“Basically, someone who can do both. So, not you.” Applejack told her with a shit eating grin.

Rainbow stuck up her middle finger. “I know what I am. And I know I'm not a bottom,”

“Well, what are you then darling? Because it's most definitely not a top,” Rarity responded with a smirk.

“I can top. I’m telling you I can,” Rainbow insisted. “I don’t care what you guys say, I know what I can do.”

“Didn’t you have a crush on me a while back?” Sunset asked.

Dash’s eyes were pinpricks. “W-what?”

“I recall a few months ago, you, had a crush on me. What made you like me so much?” Sunset’s smirk was devious and almost reminded Rainbow Dash of her demon form.

That girl was as sadistic as they come.

“Ah...” Rainbow started, not quite sure what to say. What could she say? She didn’t want to say something weird, especially with Twilight sitting right there. “Your aura, I guess? Like you have a really commanding aura. Kinda like that hot Adagio chick.”

Sunset did a scarily good impression of the sirens laugh and flipped her hair. “See? That makes me a top. You’ve got none of that aura. Like, at all. Some might even call you a bratty bottom.”

Dash’s mouth twisted. “That sounds even more insulting that the first one.”

“But a perfect fit,” Rarity responded, Applejack and Fluttershy nodding along with her.

“I hate all of you,” Dash grumbled.

Applejack ruffled her hair. “Aw, it’s okay sugarcube, you’ll find someone that will fix that attitude right up,” she chuckled deeply when Rainbow pushed her hand away.

“Face it, Dash, Spike is more intimidating than you. And he’s a puppy.” Sunset pointed to the dog that was currently chewing on a bone and cleary ignoring the conversation going on right now. “Just be a good girl Dash, and accept your role.”

“I don’t take orders from anyone!” Dash fixed her with a deep glare. “This is bullying!”

“Why? Because we’re right?” Applejack asked.

“You’re wrong!” Rainbow snapped.

Sunset shrugged. “My girlfriend and best friend are both bottoms. Don’t know why you’re making such a big deal out of nothing. You’re just proving our point.”

Rainbow Dash stood up. “I don’t have to take this! I don’t have to take this from you guys!”

“Maybe not from us, but someone else yeah,” Applejack sneered.

“AJ eat a rock!” Rainbow shouted, pushing her.

“Are you telling me what to do?” the country girl snickered.

“Yeah, I am!” Rainbow affirmed, puffing out her chest.

“That’s real funny coming from the brattiest bottom in this group,” Applejack responded with a toothy grin.

Rainbow wanted to kill her thrice in that moment.

“Shouldn’t there be a test or something? How can you even tell this kind of thing by looking at someone?” Rainbow insisted, giving all of her friends a pleading look.

“No reason to test when we all know it,” Sunset shrugged.

“Yeah!” Pinkie bubbled. “Your the bottomest of bottoms!”

Rainbow walked over to her bag and started stuffing her things into it without another word.

“Dash, really?” Applejack asked her, watching her.

“Honestly darling, don't you think that’s a little overly dramatic?” Rarity asked, eyebrow raised. “It isn’t the end of the world,”

“Okay,” Sunset said, pulling out her phone from her leather jacket. “We’re going to solve this once and for all.” She scrolled through her phone for the contact she was looking for and then pressed the green phone button. As it rang, she shushed everyone as the person on the other end picked up.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Trixie,” she responded with a small smile. “I have a question for you. Me and the girls are trying to explain to Rainbow Dash how much of a bottom she is and she keeps denying it. So, what kind of aura do you think Rainbow radiates?”

“Huh?” Trixie responded, confused. “Sunset, it’s like—”

“Answer the question, please,” Sunset pleaded sternly.

There was a sigh. “To be honest, I don’t think I can see her as anything else but a bottom. She’s soft. You know, like an infant with the soft spot of their head pushed in. Can I go back to sleep now?”

Sunset grinned at a mortified Rainbow the entire time. “Yup, see you at school on Monday,” She said, hanging up.

The room erupted into laughter.

“I hate all of you.” Dash said darkly.

“Baby Dash! Baby Dash!” PInkie repeated, dancing around her.

Applejack grinned. “Glad you finally accepted it.”

Rainbow Dash flipped her off. “Fuck you.”

Author's Note

If the girls seem a little ooc in this chapter I apologize, I base a lot of the chapters in this story on conversations I have with my group of girls. This was something that happened between all of us, and I thought it'd be funny to translate it into a chapter.

Anyway thanks for reading! Don't forget to support me on patreon and I'll see you guys later!

Strange Fingers

The conversation at today’s lunch table was...odd to say the least. For the most part, it wasn’t exactly out of the norm, well, the base of the subject wasn’t: boys.

What wasn’t the norm, was why they were having the conversation. It had been a spontaneous thing, and now most of the seven teenagers who sat at that lunch table were really, really starting to regret letting the person who started the conversation to keep going.

“I’m just saying dude,” Rainbow said, popping a french fry into her mouth. “Princess Twilight and Flash? She won’t know where to start,”

“You’re lacking faith in her abilities, darling,” Rarity responded, putting her compact mirror away. “Every girl is born with the power to seduce and bed a man.”

“Speak for yourself,” Twilight Sparkle responded, adjusting her glasses and trying to hide her blush. She knew they were talking about her dimensional counterpart, but it was still awkward and embarrassing nonetheless.

“She was,” Applejack said before she popped a grape into her mouth, “just ask her three dates to last years Fall Formal.”

“Don’t be jealous, darling,” Rarity turned her head to face Applejack, “I’m sure if you dressed more feminine you could have gotten a real date to the dance, instead of going with your cousin. What was his name? Braid-burn?”

“One, his name was Braeburn,” she held up two fingers as she spoke, “and two, he wasn’t my date. He just needed a lift is all.”

“What’s the big deal about bringing a date to a dance anyway?” Sunset asked, “all you do is dance and drink punch while staring into their eyes and pretending to be in love. It’s much more fun to go with friends.”

“I’m pretty sure that pretending part only applies to you,” Pinkie said as she reach for one of Rainbow Dash’s fries, “I mean you were using Flash to become more popula—Ow!”

She drew back her hand after Rainbow smacked it, “that wasn’t very nice!” She rubbed the back of her hand, “it really hurt!”

“You should have thought about that before you tried to steal a fry.” She picked up a french fry and threw it into her mouth.

“But Dashie,” Pinkie leaned forward until her face was an inch away from her friend’s, “sharing is caring.”

“I am sharing, Pinkie. I’m sharing my fries with my mouth.” She grabbed a handful of fries and stuffed them into her mouth, “mmmm!” She moaned as she chomped down. Bits of fried potato flew onto the table from her mouth.

“Ewww!” Rarity shouted as a bit flew into her food. She shoved the lunch tray away, “Dash, please chew with your mouth closed! We’re not animals!”

“Ahem,” Sunset cleared her throat.

Rarity paused. Her pure, white cheeks lit up, almost turning the same shade as Pinkie’s skin. She smiled awkwardly, “erm, no offense, darling.”

“I think Flash and Princess Twilight would make an adorable couple,” Fluttershy said. Her voice was so soft spoken that she almost wasn’t heard over Rainbow’s chewing, “um, if that’s ok with everyone else.”

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Yeah, but like, does she know how to, you know,” she made a jerking motion with her hand.

“Rainbow Dash!” Rarity exclaimed, appalled.

“What? You’re the one who was just sitting here talking about how every girl was born to please!” Rainbow said in her defense. “Which, by the way, is kind of messed up.”

“I have to agree with Rainbow,” Applejack intervened, “that is kinda messed up.”

“I never said that!” Rarity’s voice rose as she stared at them, “I just said every woman is born with the ability to bed any man she wants! I never said it was her duty!”

“Hehe!” Pinkie giggled. “Duty!”

“You should have been more pacific.” Rainbow said, folding her arms.

“Specific. And that is why you have a C- in Mr. Cranky’s English class,” Sunset retorted, snorting.

“As long as it’s not an F, I don’t care.” Rainbow shrugged.

“Um, what does this mean?” Twilight asked as she repeated the action Rainbow had done earlier.

“Oh come on!” Rainbow shouted as she threw her arms into the air, “how old are you?!”

“I’m a nerdy shut in, so it doesn't matter how old I am,” Twilight grumbled.

“Even Fluttershy knows what that means, and she’s the tamest one out of all of us!” Rainbow jammed her finger in the direction of Fluttershy.

All eyes turned to their meek friend. Her eyes grew wide and her pupils shrunk to the size of pins. She slowly slid down her chair until she was sitting under the table with her knees pressed against her chest.

“Not again,” Applejack sighed, biting into her apple.

“The only one who’s probably even less knowledgeable about this stuff is Sunset.” Rainbow sat back down into her seat. She picked up a fry, “I mean, she did come from a land of ponies.”

“Hey, I’m just as knowledgeable as Fluttershy,” Sunset interjected. “I know everything about stuff you need to do to a guy’s finger.”

“Wait, wait, Flash is into finger stuff?” Rainbow asked. “Is there even such a thing as finger stuff?”

“Don’t you all know about the things to do to a finger? Like, sucking on it, and stroking on it, until the white stuff comes out?” Sunset asked, looking around.

There was a moment of silence before Rainbow busted out laughing, doubling over and banging her hand on the table.

The girls around her stared at Sunset incredulously. Even Fluttershy poked her head up to stare at her.

Sunset puffed out her cheeks. “What? Isn’t what he has down there another finger?”

“Well, it does get point—”

Applejack quickly reach over and grabbed a handful of Rainbow’s fries. She stuffed them in Pinkie’s mouth, cutting her off.

“Hey!” Rainbow yelled, “those were my fries!”

“Trust me; your brain will thank me for saving it a couple of IQ points.”

“All silliness aside, I think Sunset should see the Sex Ed teacher for a talk,” Twilight placed a hand on her friend’s shoulder as she spoke.

“CHS doesn’t have a Sex Ed teacher,” Rainbow grumbled. She looked down at the pile of fries that now had a large hole in the middle thanks to Applejack.

“What?!” Twilight gasped, “you don’t? Well, then did you have one in middle school?”

“Nope,” Applejack crossed her arms, “some parents thought it was too inappropriate to be teachin’ their kids about the birds and the bees, so now CHS and CMS can’t teach it.”

“Parents like a certain country grandmother,” Rarity muttered as she fixed her eyeshadow with her compact mirror.

“Granny don’t want us having kids early,” Applejack responded, rolling her eyes.

“Must be why she sent you to the dance with your cousin,” Rarity mumbled, putting on her makeup.

“Again, he just needed a ride. I was the only one that was able to drive him.”

“Why didn’t Big Mac give you guys a ride?” Rainbow asked.

“He only had enough room for one person in his pick up, and he was already taking someone.”

“Oh! Oh! Oh!” Pinkie rushed over to her, “who was it? Was it a friend?”

“W-Well, I guess you could call them a friend.”

“Was it another one of your cousins?” Rarity smirked.

Applejack glared at her. “No,” she said between gritted teeth, “it was a date.”

“That doesn’t answer my—”

“Dang it, Rarity!” Applejack slammed her hands on the table. She jumped up from her seat, causing it to fall over. “No one in my family dates our relatives! That is just a southern stereotype and you know it!”

“A southern stereotype that almost always turns out to be true,” Rarity retorted, turning to her and shutting her compact mirror.

“Rarity, I’m going to beat you senseless if you make one more jab at my family!” Applejack shouted, rolling up her sleeves.

“What even prompted this conversation? Does anyone even remember?” Sunset asked, blinking.

“Rainbow was talking about if Princess Twilight could please Flash.” Rarity answered for her.

“Yeah, but you called dicks fingers!” Dash said, pointing to her friend. “Don't change the subject! Have you ever seen one before?"

Sunset shrugged. “Kind of. Well maybe. I think. Does seeing one online count?”

“Duh!” Pinkie responded. “Of course it does!”

Sunset nodded. “Then yeah, I've seen one. Plus I know what to do with one so it doesn't matter if I called it a finger.”

“Yes it does!” Rainbow shouted. “What would you say to a guy if you were going down on him? That you wanted to see his finger? That'd probably make him lose his boner in ten seconds flat! What do you call boobs? Butts?”

“Well, where I come from your boobs are closer to your butt so...”

“I'm sorry, what?”

“Have you guys never seen a horse?” Sunset asked incredulously.

“Yeah but like, I've never looked at a horse and went ‘hmmm I wonder if it has boobs’ that’s weird!” Dash told her.

“Um,” Fluttershy said, “If I may interject, maybe we should be more sympathetic to Sunset's point of view since you know, she is a pony.”

“Look I'm going to solve this right now,” Sunset said, pulling out her journal. “Dear Princess Twilight,”

“Why do you always say what you're writing out loud?” Pinkie wondered before she was shushed by the other girls.

“The girls and I have a question for you. Well two. First, what do you call those things that human guys have, and second, would you know what to do with one?” Sunset finished her letter and put the book down. “And now, we wait.”

Not a moment later, the journal buzzed.

Aren't they called fingers? Also, I would know what to do with one because I read a book on it once. It was in your world. Your books on human biology are really graphic.

“Ha! See?!” Sunset gloated as the bell ending lunch rang.

“Unbelievable.” Rainbow Dash said, putting her head in her hands.

Sunset patted her back. “It's okay Dash, I'm pretty knowledgeable about this kind of stuff.”

Author's Note

So this is a new story I wanted to try. Something that could be easy and quick to update from time to time during this difficult time. If you didn't know my mom has cancer, and I'm taking care of her. We're kind of running low on money because of medical bills. If anyone wants to help please support me on patreon and or donate to my paypal. Thanks for reading guys and I hope you enjoyed it!