Sergeant Rex Colt Saves Equestria

by Thunder-Bolt

Rating: mature
Tags: Crossover, Dark, Death, Alternate Universe, Anthro, Main 6, Lyra, Thriller, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sex, Science Fiction, Profanity, Gore, Violence, Princess Celestia
Length: 2542

Sergeant Rex Colt, a Mark IV Cyber-Commando, tears the caribou a new one and liberates Equestria!

Sergeant Rex "Power" Colt, is a Mark IV Cyber-Commando. He is the ultimate fighting warrior. Half man, and half machine. However, according to the military, he is obsolete.

The caribou certainly won't think so. Not when Rex is through with them.

Buckle up for a badass, cyberpunk, VHS action-fic of the future that will put kaboom back in My Little Pony.

Heads-up: This is a crossover with Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon. This fic contains 80's vibes, one-liners, violence, and so much badassery that you'll bust a nut all over your girlfriend (if you had one)

Published 2018-04-02 04:50:06 UTC
Last updated 2018-04-02 04:50:06 UTC

Chapter 1: Red Dawn

In the future, pony kind is overrun by the caribou. A relentless war-hungry species that has conquered Equestria to make the male gender dominant in the land, as part of their scheme to make the entire planet bow to their will, and whatever else beyond.

As cities fell, one after another. As the elements, the princesses, and the guards were taken captive, the whole of the pony race cried out for a savior. Sompony to free them from the grasp of the hateful caribou.

What they got was a badass, the likes of which the world had never seen before.

The portal opened, a dark blue haze of energy that swirled ten feet above the air. A dark, metallic figure fell from it, hitting the ground with a grunt. Immediately, the portal swirled into itself, shrinking until it was no more, leaving the man to push himself up from the ground.

As he stood, one could see his features in the fading twilight sun. His metallic arm, brown hair, and glowing robotic eye surrounded by metal encasing. He wore a black leather jacket, utility pants and combat boots. His mismatched eyes scanned the forest terrain left and right. He grunted to himself.

“Alright Doc, where the hell’d you send me to.” Rex said with a strong hint of disapproval.

“Another reality.” Dr. Elizabeth Darling said plainly over the cyber-com implanted in Rex’s ear.

“...what?” Rex replied coldly. He started walking in one direction. “What… in the actual hell do you mean another dimension?” He asked, trying to process that information.

“As in, I sent you through a rift in space to an alternate reality. Sort of like…” Darling paused. “Nevermind, no time to explain. You’ve got some bad guys to shoot.”

Rex smirked at her words. “I like the sound of that Doc.” He pulled his Fazertron off his back, and cocked it. “Where do I go?”

“One mile to the east, there should be a small town. There aren’t too many of them there, but enough that you should have some fun.” Darling chuckled.

“That’s what I like to hear.” Rex said as he began sprinting, his cyber-enhanced muscles allowing him to sprint twice that of the fastest human alive.

Rex Colt was not a thoughtful man. All he valued in life were guns, girls, and killing bad guys. But a few questions did enter his brains’ motherboard that he couldn’t help but ponder. “Yo, Doc, why did you send me here exactly? Is this Omega Force?”

“No Rex, this is… something different. Something that threatens our world just as much as this one.”

“Alright, I’m listening.” Rex huffed as he ran.

“I’ll keep it short, but in essence, these… people have an agenda that we can’t allow to spread. It’s the idea that the male sex should be completely dominant over the female.”

Rex smirked. “That actually doesn’t sound too bad Doc-”

“As in, slavery, removal of human rights, and zero free will of the female mind.” Darling finished.

“Oh… shit.” Rex growled to himself, already finding a strong distaste for these people. “And I’m guessing they have the ability to travel other places too?”

“Yes.” Darling answered grimly. “I’ve been keeping an eye on this dimension, and their activities have gotten out of control.”

Rex, still sprinting through the deep forest, raised an eyebrow. “Doc, how do you ‘keep an eye’ on a dimension?”

“Not important. What I need you to do is eliminate this threat with the help of the local populace. By any means necessary.” Darling explained.

“Welp, if these bastards are pseudo-nazis, you can be sure they’ll nazi what I have for them.” Rex smirked at his totally badass one-liner.

Darling groaned in annoyance over his com.

Rex ran all the way to the edge of the forest, until he found himself looking over a small town. It was made of old medieval materials. Wood, straw, stone. Nothing like the metal structures of his world.

“This the place?” Rex asked, turning on his cyber eye to allow Darling to see.

“That’s the place. Feel free to do as you please.” Darling said, signing off for the moment to let Rex do his work.

“Alrighty… let’s see…” He said in his gruff voice, zooming in with his cyber-eye until he could make out the faint figures in the town. As he eyed them, he noticed something… odd about them.

They were fucking horse-people.

Rex recoiled slightly. He looked again to confirm that yes, they were indeed horse people.

And there were deer-people too…

In fact, when Rex looked further, he noticed that the deer-people appeared to be acting completely dominant over the horse-people. Committing unspeakable acts against the horse-people. Especially to the female horse-people…

Okay, he really needed to figure out a better term than deer or horse-people. Rex grumbled to himself as he sought a better term in his head.

He finally settled on ‘buck’ for the deer-people, and ‘pony’ for the horse-people.

And with all that crap settled and out of the way, it was finally time to get down there and kick some ass!

“Yeah, take that cock you fucking slut!” The caribou shouted at the helpless mare he was raping.

“S-stop! You're hurting me!” She screamed, struggling to get away and failing. Other mares were meeting the same fate as their captors deflowered them against their will.

“Don't worry, you'll grow to enjoy your new place as our cock socks.” The caribou sneered, leaning down as he slapped his hips against her ass. “It's only natural.”

“NOOO!!!” The mare screeched, turning and biting the caribou’s hand.

“Grgh! Fuck!” The caribou pulled out and slapped her across her cheek, forcing her to the ground. He reached for a whip that was by his side.

“Soon you will know your place!” He shouted down at her, unfurling the whip and preparing to strike her.

The mare shrieked. But before the caribou could do anything, a loud bang rang out, and his head exploded into an eruption of blood and brains that soared through the air, coating anything nearby, including the mare.

“W-what?” She trembled, looking at the mist of blood that fell on her. The other caribou had stopped their disgusting plundering and looked the headless body of their comrade. It still stood, before finally flopping on its back.

“What!?” One of them shouted.

“What in the hell!? What the fuck!?” They all started shouting, grabbing their swords, spears and bows. All of the mares ran away to their homes, or whatever building wasn't burnt to the ground.

Meanwhile, on a nearby rooftop, Rex was crouched while holding his Kobracon sniper rifle. He smirked as he watched the buck’s head explode through his sniper scope.

“Boom, headshot!” Rex cracked another one-liner to himself, pulling back the bolt to let in another cartridge. Looking back through the scope, he could see the bucks were starting to look for him. He set his sights on another one, firing at his chest. The bullet penetrated his chest and sent him flying through the air to the ground. Rex heard his shout of pain as he fell.

“And another one bites the dust.” He jeered, folding his Kobrakon, and pulling out his Fazertron. It was bullpup, full-auto, lazer-firing weapon that absolutely shredded flesh to bits. These bucks didn’t stand a chance.

Rex jumped off the roof and landed with a thud. Slowly, he stood back up, aiming his Fazertron from the hip. The caribou stared in awe, as the Mark IV Cyber-Commando stood before them in his full cybernetic glory.

Their faces turned red with anger as they readied their weapons. “Get him!” One shouted as they charged. Rex chuckled as they ran at him.

“Say hello to my fazer friend.” Rex took aim and fired twice, knocking one stallion back into the dirt. As the other two charged, he held down the trigger and made a sweeping motion, shooting both bucks. They crumpled before Rexes feet. One of the lasers happened to hit an explosive barrel, causing a massive explosion that blew up a food storage for the caribou troops.

As the fire blew through the square, Rex rested his gun against his shoulder. “Now that’s how you make an introduction.” He smiled at his handiwork. The moment of glory did not last, as another, more heavily equipped group of caribou ran at him from a nearby street, armed with bows, longswords and metal armor. The group of soldiers were all shocked at what they found. Upon seeing their dead brethren, their shocked looks turned to those of rage. Rex looked their way, who grinned at their entrance.

The leader pointed his finger at him. “You! Halt!”

Rex shook his head. “No thanks, buckeroo.” He aimed his Fazertron at the leaders head, and with one shot, blew it off in a spout of flesh. The other caribou, enraged that this monster would dare oppose them, marched towards him, weapons ready. Rex fired at them again, but the lasers didn’t enter all the way. They impacted, and left a super heated hole of red-hot metal. The caribou cringed as Rex fired, but they kept advancing.

“Some tough cookies, huh?” Rex grumbled, putting away the Fazertron. Apparently, these were heavier units. Not regular foot soldiers like the others. “Alright, I like taking a bite out of some cookies.” Rex drew his neon blue bowie knife.

One soldier, in a fit of overconfidence, charged. The storage drive in Rex’s memory cortex provided him with the appropriate counter. As the buck threw his longsword in a sideways swing, Rex ducked in the nick of time. The longsword flew over his head. As the careless soldier realized his mistake, Rex grabbed his antler and pulled him in. As he did, he plunged the knife right into his attackers throat, making him gasp and gag for air as he choked on his blood.

As the buck fell limp, Rex pushed the dead buck off his blade.

“Y-you bastard!” One soldier shouted with uncensored rage. “Kill him!”

Instantly, all of the soldiers charged at once, leaving the archer bucks behind. With little time to think, Rex leaped up as the first ran at him. He drew his A.J.W. 9 pistol as he jumped, taking aim at the soldiers head as he ran under him. Rex fired, the round going right through the grunts surprised face and into his brain. His head exploded with a disgusting SCLAPTCH. Rex landed back down as another attempted to topple him over from the left. Rex turned, grabbed him and flipped the back over his back. The buck fell over, but before he got up, Rex delivered a three round burst of his pistol to his neck. The next buck tried to deliver a punch to his face, but Rex locked his metal hand into his wrist, stopping it instantly. He turned around on his feet, flinging the screaming buck like a carousel. Rex threw him at three other caribou, the force knocking them down. The last buck standing froze in front of him. Rex promptly shot him in the head.

As the fallen caribou struggled to get back up, Rex grabbed his Fazertron with his left hand, while his right still held his pistol. He fired a long burst into the four grounded bucks, ripping smoldering holes through their bodies. The all fell limp.

The three remaining archers began running. Rex aimed his pistol and Fazertron at them. He let loose a frenzy of bullets and lasers that ate up the back flesh of the caribou, knocking them to the ground, dead.

Rex smirked at his innate display of badassery. “Looks like I really fazed those fuckers.” He mused, putting his Fazertron on his back.

Rex ear picked up the sound of approaching footsteps. He quickly turned and drew his pistol at the noise. The approaching mare froze in place, her eyes wide. Rex realized this was a local, not one of the bucks. He slowly lowered his pistol and raised an eyebrow at her. She barely had anything that kept her covered. “You alright, ma’am?”

The mare nodded. “Yeah… and it’s Lyra” She replied, looking quite timid. Rex figured these people had been oppressed for a while. The pony, or ‘Lyra’ as she called herself, was filthy. It looked like she hadn’t showered in weeks. “Who… what are you?” She tilted her head, eyeing his robot eye and arm.

“Name’s Rex. Rex Power Colt.” He smoldered, standing tall and seeming to emphasise each part of his name in a natural way that sent a shiver down Lyra’s spine.

“Oh um…” Lyra blinked.

“And I’m here to save… uh” Rex froze, realizing he didn’t actually know where he was. “Save…”

Lyra raised an eyebrow. “Equestria?”

“Uh, yeah, sure, Equestria.” He furrowed his eyebrows at the name, but he didn’t question it. He was already embarrassed enough at his blunder.

Lyra couldn’t help but crack a smile at Rex. It didn’t last, as he recollected himself. “Alright, who’s in charge around here?”

Lyra was about to answer when her ears drooped. “She got captured…”

“Where?” Rex pressed. Lyra looked upwards to her left, and pointed a finger.

“Up there, on that mountain. Canterlot.” She answered. Rex followed her finger up to a mountain off in the distance, and what looked like a large city and a castle built on it’s slope. He nodded.

“Then that’s where I’m headed.” He spun his pistol around twice and shove it into its holster. He started to walk in Canterlots direction, when he felt a tug on his arm. He looked back.

“Wait, you’re not going up there by yourself. Are you?” Her eyes were wrought with worry. “You won’t last ten seconds against ALL of them!”

Rex’s very different eyes blinked, as he came to the realization that he would indeed need help against this army of caribou. After all, he had no idea exactly how deeply they had planted their forces into the country. But from the looks of things, and what Dr. Darling had told him before, they probably had been occupying it for a few months at least.

“Yeah, you’re right.” He relented, turning towards her. “You know anyone who would want to help.”

She smiled. “Well, me for one.” She glanced back at the dark, shadowy scene that was Ponyville. Residents carefully came out from their dwellings, shocked at the carnage, and curious about the figure standing near Lyra.

“And them too, for sure.” She looked back at Rex, who had a satisfied grin on his face.

“Well if this isn’t the most badass back story to a kickass guerilla force bent on the destruction of their enemy, I dunno what is.” He folded his arms, cracking a grin. “But we’re gonna have to get you all some clothes.”

Lyra blinked, before looking down at herself. “O-oh! Right…” She grinned sheepishly.

Author's Note

Well, I really hope you enjoyed that! I know I sure had fun with it. I'm going to love writing out the adventures of Rex Colt and his quest to bring down the caribou. Buckle up, this is gonna be one hell of a ride!