*Sigh*"Once again, I'm forced to return to the place I was imprisoned for so long." Mimir complained while stepping off the train arriving at the Crystal Empire for the Equestrian games.

"Mimir quit your complaining, it's not like I'm putting you back on that boat we found you in." Everyone was checking to see if they had everything while the others already went ahead towards the castle. I went over to the luggage carts where the Crusaders, Jack, Orion, and Spike were going over everything. "You four ready for the games?"

My kids and the rest of the Crusaders turned around and gave me a salute. "Ready!"

I smiled before grabbing my kids into a bear hug. "You five are gonna do a great job." I kissed the top of their heads before putting them down with the others. I turned to Spike as he got his bow ready. "What about you Spike, ready for the games?"

"Sure am, I can already taste that gold medal." Hope he doesn't intend to actually eat it. "Thanks again for allowing the games committee to let me compete in the archery contest."

"Well, Ponyville was in need of someone for that event, and we all know that your the best with a bow." Spike looked proud at my compliment.

As we gathered our things, Brok grumbled his way over while snacking on an apple. "Damn city, looks like a pebble could smash the whole thing to the ground. Don't know what those elves were thinking when they made this shit-hole."

"Brok, if you don't like this place, then why'd you even come?" I asked while making sure all the luggage was off the train.

"I want to see them ice arrows Celestia asked me to make work. Plus, I want to see how them mongrels do during the games."

"Guess that's fair." Suddenly, two crystal guards rushed past us and scooped up Spike before turning tail and headed toward the crystal spire. "Hey!" I went to chase after them, but Spike already had it covered.

He hopped off the chair and onto the guard on the right before taking hold of his ears and pulled them up, hard. The guard reared up in pain while the other guard kept running, causing the two of them to stumble and fall flat. While those two groaned in pain, Spike loomed over the guard that kept running and brought his knife to his throat. "You're gonna tell me why you tried to kidnap me, or I'll give you another hole to breathe out of." Spike brought the knife closer to the guard who looked like he was on the verge of shitting himself.

Before I could stop Spike from his actions, Cadence and Twilight ran up with frantic faces. "Spike, stop!" Twilight grabbed him with her magic while Cadence helped the guards back onto their hooves. "What were you doing!?"

"Questioning potential kidnappers. Why? Were they sent by you?"

Cadence helped up the other guard before answering. "We did. They were supposed to bring you and Joe to the Spire." I decided to step in.

"Maybe next time, have them approach and ask him to follow them, instead of scooping him up out of the blue." I looked at Spike and gave him a smirk. "Your skills have improved young drake."

"I learned from the best." He returned my smirk before turning back to Cadence and Twilight. "So, why did you need to see me and Joe for?" The two of them led us to the palace with the rest of our friends and family following.

Once inside, we made it to a room where Mrs. Harshwhinny was waiting for us. "Julia! It's good to see you again." I ran up to her and squeezed her into a hug. "How've you been?"

Julia gave me a deadpan stare while I held her in the air. "Joe, still acting unprofessionally I see." Her frown soon turns into a smile while she pats my shoulder. "It's good to see you too." I gave her a smile before letting her back down. "I assume you must be wondering why we asked you and Mister The Dragon here?"

"An explanation would be nice," Spike said while he went over and started snacking on some gems from a bowl.

"Well, as you two know, you're both quite famous in the Empire." Cadence directed our attention to the statue of us. "Spike, you returned the crystal heart and brought out the love that keeps this kingdom alive and well. For you, the citizens know you, as Spike, the Brave and Glorious." Spike took a pose, that crumbled once Rarity came behind him and kissed him on the cheek, which he returned. "And Joe, when you fought and killed Sombra, you gave the citizens of the empire closure, that they would never again be ruled by a tyrant. To them, you are Joe, the Wolfman, and Kingslayer." With two kings dead by my hand.

"So we're celebrities. That's fucking awesome! So, what do you need from us?"

Julia took it from there. "The committee would like for Spike to light the torch for the opening ceremony to start the games. As for Joe. We would like it if he could give a half-time show for every game day."

"Oh, glorious day! You just made my week lady!" I started laughing maniacally at what was about to happen.

Cadence leaned over and whispered over to Twilight. "This was a bad idea, wasn't it?"

"You have no idea." She whispered back.

A few hours later.

I walked alongside Spike as we made our way down the corridor toward the torch. While we walked, I kept thinking of shit to do for all the half-times. "Okay, so I'll start with sports bloopers for the first day. An action scene from some movie that can be seen for kids as well as adults on the second day. Oh, I feel like a kid at a candy store. How are you feeling buddy?"

"I feel great! You and I are heroes in the Empire, I get to compete in the archery games, and I get to light the torch to start the games. Nothing can go wrong." Why'd he had to ask that?

When we walked out, the whole stadium cheered for us, chanting Brave and Glorious, as well as Kingslayer. It was beautiful. While I went over to the torch, I noticed Spike wasn't beside me. I looked behind me to see that Spike was frozen in place and sweating bullets. "Hey, Spike, you okay?" He didn't answer, he just kept looking around with fear in his eyes and trembling hands. "Okay, you got stage fright. Well, don't worry, uncle Joe's here to help." I brought Spike over to the torch and made him look over to the royal box where all our friends and family were, but more importantly, where Rarity is. "Look over there. Look to the mare who loves you, and you love her."

Spike shook off his fear for a moment to look at Rarity. I saw the two of them look at each other and Rarity smiled at him to reassure him. Spike smiled back at her before straightening up and headed for the brazier. He raised his head high, puffed out his chest, and let out a long burst of his signature green fire, lighting the torch to start the games. When his fire show was over, he let out a roar I've only seen him do on our visit to the dragon lands.

The crowd went nuts and cheered as the games officially started. I stood by Spike as we waved to the crowd, and gave a special wave to our girls in the royal box. "You did good old boy."

"Thanks, Joe. So, whatcha got for the start of the games, anything good?"

"You know me." The two of us watched as the flag carriers moved across the field and I felt so proud of my kids carrying the ponyville flag with Sweetie and Bloom. They make me so proud.

When the flag carriers were out on the field, Shining Armor went to announce the start of the games. "Let the games begin! As soon as Joe starts the official gameday entertainment!"

"And that's my cue." I conjured a screen for the whole stadium to watch. "A little bit of music and sports, a winning combo in my book."

When the illusion ended, I saw a lot of the mares with red cheeks and the dudes were whooping with testosterone. "Nice one Joe."

"Thanks, buddy."

The next day.

Today was the day of the relays, both ground and aerial, and I sat between Jackie and Lulu with the kids sitting one row down. We just got through watching Angela, Sandra, and Rita win the gold, the team from Appelosa won the silver, and the team from Las Pegasus won the bronze. "Nicely done. Your kingdoms athletes did very well dear."

"Thanks, Lulu. But don't forget, Herot is yours and Jackie's kingdom just as much as mine." I leaned over and gave her a kiss, just as the aerial relay was about to start.

"Alright you two, save the lovin' for tonight, Dash and Shy are up next." Jackie directed our attention over to the relay just before they dropped the flag.

As soon as the flag dropped, the team flyers from Cloudsdale and Griffinstone rocketed out with Private Snowflake nipping at their hooves. "I guess that pep talk I gave him this morning really helped him?"

Celestia came back with this. "Oh yes, if you call yelling in his face, making him break into tears a pep talk, then yes, I believe it did." We glared at her dumb joke while she just kept grinning.

While Snowflake hoofed the baton to Fluttershy, Brok made his way down with popcorn in one hand and beer in the other. "There you go again, acting like Trollestia again." Celestia did a spit-take with her cake before glaring at Brok.

"How did you learn of Lulu's nick-name for me!?" She then sent a glare to Luna, which she just shrugged at.

"Celestia, who do you think gave you that name in the first place?" Every one of us went wide-eyed at hearing that. "Don't look so shocked, you would always sneak into my shop and pull some sort of stunt with one of my projects. Put my project with the invisible armor on the fuckin' back burner."

We all had a good laugh at Celestia's expense, just as Fluttershy hoofed the baton to Dash before any of the other second relays could. "Holy crap, did you see that?!"

"Yeah, it looks like Ponyville might win the gold." Jackie pointed out as we watched with bated breath as Dash flew through the course with ease as Spitfire started catching up. Dash and Spits were now neck and neck at the last stretch of the race, each of them sweating bullets and straining to get the lead. At the last stretch of the race, Rainbow passed through the finish line, almost creating a Sonic Rainboom, winning the gold for Ponyville. "Yee-haw! They won the gold!"

"Hell yeah! That puts Ponyville in the lead for the medal count." We applauded their success as they received their metals and Saphire sang the Ponyville anthem. Soon afterward, the games were coming to a close for the day, and Shining signaled me to get my ass down there. "Alright ladies, I got to do my part for the games." I gave my wives a kiss each and made my way onto the field. "Alright sports fans! That was a great day of racing, I tell ya, my heart's still pounding like a beatbox." A round of cheers like before. "Seeing how it's the end of the day, I say it's time for some end-of-the-day entertainment." Even louder screams than what was given from the start of the day. "Well alright. Since today was a race-filled day, let's see the end of one of the most historical races in Midgard. A race that is known as the Ocean of Fire, and where an unlikely contestant wins above all odds." I conjured a screen like I did the other day and let the events unfold "Ladies and Gents. Hidalgo!"

At the end of the little show, the whole stadium was in an uproar. I gave a small bow before heading back to my family. "So, what do you feel like for dinner?"

Last day of the games.

You'd think an event that has so many sporting events would last longer than three days, but then you'd be wrong. Many of the games didn't have many contestants, so most of the events went by pretty quickly. The rest of my athletes won the gold, except for Peter, who won silver while a Minotaur won the gold in Shotput. Near the end, Herot and Ponyville were tied for the medal count with one event to go. And Spike was competing for it.

"Seems a shame that Herot doesn't have an archer to compete for the games." I sat by Spike as he set aside his quiver for the regulation quiver given to him by the games committee.

"We didn't really have any archers to compete, they all converted to working with high-powered rifles once Swagger arrived. Besides, I'd rather watch my own student win the gold." I patted him on the shoulder, just as the call for the archery tournament was let out. "Alright Spike, go out there show them what you got." Spike gave me a thumbs up before heading out there.

Spike lined up with the other archers just as Shining made his way onto the field. "Well everyone, tonight is the last night for the Equestria Games, and as always, we end it with the Ice Archery finals!" the crowd cheered for the final tournament for the games. "I'd also like to take this opportunity to thank the maker and provider of these new arrows, so let's hear it for the legendary blacksmith, Brok!" I saw Brok rise from his seat, waving his arms at the cheers directed at him. Glory hog. The archers got ready as Shining held up his hoof. "Begin!" And they were off.

The ponies had to use a mounted bow while Spike had the luxury of aiming his bow where needed. We watched as Spike kept firing at his target with near pinpoint accuracy, slowly but surely incasing his target with ice. "That a boy Spike, give 'em hell!" I gave my student praise as he was only a few arrows away from victory. Off to the side, I saw the guy from Manehattan knock over his quiver as he knocked his arrow.

As he was about to fire his arrow, he slipped on his quiver and fell, shooting his arrow in the air. We watched as the arrow flew up into the air before hitting a cloud. At first, we all thought we had to watch for a loose arrow coming down on us, but then the cloud started to freeze over. The cloud soon became heavy and it started to grow jagged ice spikes while slowly making its way to the stands.

I tried to conjure some fire in my hand to melt the cloud but nothing happened. I wondered why nothing happened, but then remembered the magic suppressing curtain everyone with magic had to go through. "Crap!" As the ice cloud started making its way closer to the stands, a few of the pegasi flew up to redirect the cloud toward the field. "That looks like a good idea." I flew up with the others and took the center position, relieving the weight of the cloud for most of the others.

As we steered the cloud towards the field, I could feel the damn thing getting heavier by the minute. Soon, it'll be too much for even me. "Everyone, get clear! This thing's getting heavier by the second!" All the fliers who came to stop the cloud flew off, leaving me with an even heavier burden. I had to try and keep this thing up as long as possible so the stadium could be cleared out, 'cause even if this thing lands in the field, the impact will shatter the damn thing and the shrapnel could very well kill someone. As I struggled to keep this thing in the air, I saw Spike run under me with his bow and quiver. "Spike, what are you doing? Get the hell out of here!"

"Don't worry Joe, I know what I'm doing." I saw Spike knock an incendiary arrow into his bow before launching it at the floating glacier. He kept firing arrows all around the cloud effectively stopping it from growing and actually making it start to melt. "Joe! Get that thing as high as you can, I got an idea!" Following Spike's instructions, I started raising the slightly lighter cloud higher into the sky. Once I was high enough, Spike signaled me to stop while he knocked an explosive arrow. "Once I fire this, get clear!"

"Alright, go for it!" As soon as Spike fired the arrow, I gave the iceberg an additional push before diving down to the ground. Once the arrow hit, the whole thing exploded in tiny ice flakes, slush, and snowflakes. When I landed next to Spike, the whole stadium cheered while it snowed around us. "Heh, walking in a winter wonderland." Our moment of holiday bliss was interrupted when I was tackled by the two lovely mares I call wives while Spike was levitated over to Rarity and got peppered with kisses.

"Oh, my brave and smart Spikey! You saved us all from that awful death cloud!" Spike floated in Rarity's aura with a dumb grin while being assaulted with smooches.

I was in the same boat with Jackie and Luna as they were on either side of me, holding an arm each and kissing my cheeks. "You did an excellent job my king~," Luna told me before giving me a sultry lick.

"And watching you lift that hunk of ice all by yourself was a real turn-on ~." Jackie flittered her eyes while cupping my crotch with her hoof.

"Jackie, Lulu please, we're out in public." The rest of the girls, Shining, Cadence, Celestia, and the kids made their way over to congratulate us. "Hey, guys. That was some last game day spectacle huh?" Everyone laughed as Spike and I got to our feet.

Cadence came up and bowed her head at us. "As the ruler of the Crystal Empire, I would like to be the first to thank the both of you for saving my citizens."

"Hey, no problem. It just comes naturally to a couple of heroes like us." Spike boasted while pointing between himself and me.

"Open a couple of kegs for us and we'll call it even." Cadence giggled while I brought Spike over. "Excellent job on that iceberg my scaley friend."

"Couldn't have done it without your teachings."

Dash flew between the two of us and brought us in a headlock. "Not to ruin the moment, but who won the gold?"

"Funny you should mention that." Shining directed our attention over to the targets. Upon careful examination, we saw that the target completely covered in ice was Spikes. "It seems the winner of the archery tournament, is the same person that saved our asses." Spike let out a loud cheer while doing a stupid little dance. Gotta remember to teach him humility in victory.

Two hours later

The field had been cleared of all the debris from the cloud glacier and the medals had been counted. With thirty-eight medals, Ponyville won the overall medal count with Herot coming in second. Not bad for a new kingdom competing for the first time. Though come next time, Herot will dominate. I watched the kids carry the flag for the closing ceremony while Spike lit the fireworks. Once the last firework exploded, Shining gave me the signal. "Alright, one last illusion for this crowd." I conjured the screen and let that crazy amphibian close the games.

As we watched the illusion, I could feel Jackie and Lulu shake their head at me. "Really Dear. This is what you use to close the games?" Luna asked while Jackie fixed me with a look.

"Well, it was either that or Robin Williams doing stand up about the Olympics. And believe me, the jokes he told for that is meant for a mature audience." I laughed before getting up and headed for the exit. The games were fun, but now I'd like to get away from the Empire and into my own bed.

Author's Note

That was the Equestria games. Sponsored by Old Spice, Lipton Brisk Iced Tea, and Budweiser.

Now on to the threat that Faust herself predicted.