Haiku Is Magic

by Calsan

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Princess Celestia, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Gilda
Length: 3337

Boredom-induced haiku poems, summarizing episodes of pony.

Man with a mission/
Take the pony episodes/
Write them as haiku!

Published 2012-07-24 17:34:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-26 06:26:53 UTC

Episodes 1-4

My Little Pony: Haiku is Magic
Episodes 1-4

Episode 1:
Friendship is Magic, Part 1

Twilight spends her time
With books instead of her friends
Finds a prophecy

An evil pony
Sent to the moon years ago
But she'll be released

She is Nightmare Moon
Elements of Harmony
Able to stop her

Twilight is then sent
To make friends in Ponyville
She is reluctant

Interesting ponies?
Twilight attempts to say Hi
Stranger gasps and flees

Applejack appears
With her massive family
Gonna stay for brunch?

Rainbow Dash crashes
And proves she can clear the sky
In ten seconds flat!

Rarity's ribbons
Will be the talk of the town
Spike will fall in love

Fluttershy-quiet
Until she sees the dragon
Then gets excited

Twilight is worn out
But goes home only to find
Pinkie yell "Surprise!"

The party runs late
Twilight hopes it's just a myth
But the book was right!

The ponies gathered
Within the largest building
For Princess appearance

"Are you excited?
Never been so excited
Except when I gasped"

The curtains are drawn
But wait for just a second!
The princess is gone!

Nightmare Moon shows up
Throws the land into darkness
Night lasts forever!

Episode 2:
Friendship is Magic, Part 2

Previously on
My Little Pony, several
Events did occur.

Twilight runs away
Followed by a pegasus
She reaches her home.

Confronted by Dash,
"Are you a SPY?" she questions
AJ interrupts.

Twilight explains to
The other confused ponies
What she must do now.

She must procure
Elements of Harmony
Defeat Nightmare Moon!

But there is one thing...
She doesn't know where they are!
"It was under E!"

Everfree forest
A purple cloud follows them
Sinister, no doubt

A sudden landslide
AJ convinces Twilight
To release her grip

Angry manticore
Fluttershy pulls the thorn out
He calms down quickly

Distraught sea serpent
Rarity cuts off her tail
"Oho! MY MOUSTACHE!"

Scary tree faces
Pinkie sings a little song
Makes them disappear

Dark acrobat team
Ultimatum- "Them or us"
Dash remains loyal

Ancient ruined castle
Ponies find the elements
Where is the sixth one?

Evil pony steals
The harmonious stones, but
Twilight follows her!

Twilight fools evil
She teleports behind her
And causes a spark!

The spark didn't work
Nightmare Moon destroys the rocks
Now what will they do?

The others arrive
A shimmer in Twilight's eye
They all are her friends!

Twilight's eyes glowing,
She and her friends float mid-air.
Nightmare Moon shouts "No!"

The rainbow shoots out,
Enveloping the Nightmare,
Cause of explosion!

With a glowing light,
Celestia does arrive
And congratulates.

Nightmare defeated,
Celestia walks over
To greet her sister.

She has a request:
"Will you accept my friendship?"
The sisters embrace

Ponyville party
Twilight doesn't want to leave
Princess lets her stay!

Episode 3:
The Ticket Master

AJ and Twilight
Walking and hauling apples
A bet with Big Mac

Twilight is hungry
She's glad the goal is lunchtime
Spike tends to agree

Suddenly, Spike burps!
A letter out of nowhere
Gala announcement

Two tickets inside
Applejack is excited
She would like to come!

AJ would sell treats
For all the ponies around
And fix up the farm:

A roof for the barn
A plow for Big Macintosh
A hip for Granny

Rainbow crashes down
She was napping in a tree
She wants in as well

Wonderbolts perform
She would interrupt their show
and put on her own

Living Rainbow's dream?
Or fixing Applejack's farm?
Who deserves it more?

Twilight walks to town
And slams into Pinkie Pie
Tickets fall on her

Pinkie Pie freaks out
Her gaze falls on the tickets
She wants the extra!

The gala is massive
A "galarrific" party
Best place for Pinkie!

Rarity spies them
She designs the ensembles
But has never gone

She is destined to meet
The nephew of the Princess
And they'd fall in love

Bunny grabs tickets
and then runs to Fluttershy
"Oh, these are perfect!"

She would spend all night
In the garden with critters
Hummingbirds that hum

Argument ensues
Everypony wants to go
Twilight can't decide

Twi and Spike get lunch
Suddenly it is raining
But not upon them

Rainbow made a hole
But Twilight is not amused
So she zips it up

Twilight is soaking
Rarity pulls her inside
Dresses her up

She catches on, though
And angrily storms back out
Runs into AJ
Caramel, crumble,
Pie, fritter, bumpkin, cake, tart,
She's got everything!

But Twilight walks away
She doesn't need any of
These extra favors

But when she gets home
What does she stumble upon?
Fluttershy cleaning!

She pushes them out
And gets ambushed by Pinkie
Who tells everypony

Everypony freaks out
And starts pursuing Twilight
So she runs away

Teleporting home
Twilight finds her friends waiting
And yells in despair

Everypony gives up
Their chance at the spare ticket
Which inspires Twilight

"Spike, take a letter"
She gives both of the tickets back
and explains her choice

A response comes quick
"Well, why didn't you say so?
SIX tickets this time!

Spike is saddened
He doesn't get a ticket
Wait! Another letter!

"And one for you, Spike."
Ticket just for the dragon!
He runs out giddy.

Episode 4:
Applebuck Season

It's that time of year
Harvesting time for apples
But without Big Mac

He has hurt himself
Leaving it all to AJ
She is determined

She begins her work
"These apples won't shake themselves"
But then they do shake!

Many running cows
Charging towards Ponyville
Rainbow yells "STAMPEDE!"

AJ and her dog
Make the cattle veer away
The town has been saved!

Mayor wants to thank
Pinkie suggests a party
"She's...Appletastic!"

The town has gathered
Around the hall to honor
Applejack's actions

Twilight starts her speech
But she gets interrupted
By other ponies

AJ has promised
To help Rainbow's flying trick
And Pinkie's baking

Fluttershy's census
For the new baby bunnies
Should go much smoother

The mayor speaks up
The curtain is pulled open
But AJ is late!

"I'm here!" a voice yells
Applejack walks through the crowd
And drops some apples

She reaches the stage
And walks up to the award
"I sure look funny!"

She drags it off stage,
And begins trekking back home
Her friends worry

"Did she seem tired?"
Rarity suggests, "messy?"
"Did you SEE her mane?"

Twi visits AJ
"What is that pony up to?"
Gets a closer look

"Applebuck season!"
She asks, "Apple-what season?"
It's harvesting time.

Twilight is concerned
But she leaves AJ alone
She goes to help Dash

Big teeter-totter
Rainbow stands upon one end
Applejack jumps down

Applejack misses
And she falls flat on her face
Repeat this four times.

AJ's bright idea
Push down her end sans jumping
It knocks down Rainbow

One final attempt
With a mighty leap, she flies
And lands on the end

Dash wasn't ready
She flies far out of her plan
Crashes by Twilight

Twilight offers help
AJ refuses again
Goes to help Pinkie

She mishears Pinkie
Chocolate or tater chips?
And a cup of sour

The ponies are sick
"A mishap with the baked goods"
"Not baked goods, baked BADS."

AJ still bucking
She tips over with her cart
To find Twilight there

"Help? No thank you"
Some offscreen shenanigans
Her cart's turned upright

No, AJ insists
"I need help from NOPONY!"
Stubborn as a mule

Fluttershy's cottage
Applejack rounds up bunnies
But she is too loud!

The bunnies stampede
Every flower devoured!
Town in disarray

Twi visits again
Clever alliteration
"Bushels of bunnies"

AJ is finished?
Nope! Big Mac points out more trees
Applejack falls down

One more help offer
AJ finally agrees
Twilight sighs, relieved

Friendship is about
Giving of ourselves to friends,
AND accepting help.

Table of ponies
Rainbow Dash says she's hungry
Spike has a baked bad!

Episode 5

Haiku is Magic
Episode 5:
Griffon the Brush-Off

Pinkie and Twilight
Are in the park together
Twilight is reading

Pinkie is telling
A story about Rainbow
And being ignored

Rainbow flies nearby
Pinkie spots her friend's figure
And starts chasing her

Dash isn't up for
Talking with Pinkie right now
But Pinkie insists

Rainbow tries to flee
Pinkie continues chasing
Catch up at the pond

"I need a favor!"
Rainbow Dash sighs, defeated
"It's gonna be fun!"

Pinkie instructs Dash
In proper placement of clouds
Everything's just right

Spike exits the door
Pinkie signals to Rainbow
A mighty boom sounds!

He drops a scroll load
And he begins to hiccup
Laughter then ensues

Spike sends several scrolls
When he hiccups upon them
Celestia's shocked

Rainbow suggests pranks
She and Pinkie find their friends
And pull a few pranks

Invisible ink
Twilight's notes vanish on her
A potion explodes!

AJ goes outside
All her apples are spotted!
The two painted them!

Rarity's boutique
Flowers placed on the doorstep
Ring the bell and run!

She gives them a sniff
A powder is on her nose
She sneezes a lot!

Turtle is floating
Fluttershy is curious
The turtle's not real!

Rainbow wants to squirt
Pinkie stops her in her tracks
"Can't prank Fluttershy!"

Rainbow's telescope
Search for possible targets
But Pinkie pranks HER!

The following day
Pinkie goes to Rainbow's place
To do more pranking

Peering past the edge
An eagle's head is looking
And Dash shows up next

She introduces
Pinkie to her friend Gilda
She is a griffon

Gilda: Half lion,
Half eagle, "and ALL AWESOME,"
Or so she declares.

Gilda and Rainbow
Friends from Junior Speedsters camp
They perform a chant

Pinkie gets an idea
For a new prank, invites Gilda
The griffon declines

Dash promised to fly
With Gilda in the morning
"You don't mind, do you?"

They are on a cloud
Pinkie's head pops through the floor
Trampoline bouncing

Dash says, "Pinkie Pie,
You are SO random!" and laughs
Gilda wants to race

The fliers make it
To the cloud, which was their goal
Fight about who won

Pinkie has balloons
Floats up to meet the duo
Says she thinks Dash won

Gilda gets annoyed
Tells Dash to race her again
Pops Pinkie's balloons

Meeting up above
"You almost got away there!"
Pinkie's helicopter

Gilda tempts Rainbow
She flies off to show her tricks
Pinkie called over

"Buzz off!" Gilda exclaims
Sends Pinkie spiralling down
Dash completes her show

Pinkie sees Twilight
But she doesn't believe her
Thinks Pinkie is jealous

She's incredulous!
"Jealous?" she exclaims loudly
Spike: "Pink with envy"

Pinkie plods to town
She thinks Twilight might be right
Is she just jealous?

She sips her milkshake
when overhead she hears speech!
Quickly, Pinkie hides.

Dash needs to do work
So Gilda hangs out around town
And spots a food cart

She snakes her tail in
It pops out by Granny Smith
She freaks out: "Rattler!"

"Aw, poor Granny Smith!"
Pinkie thinks Gilda is mean
But can't misjudge her

Gilda looks around
She sees nopony watching
She takes an apple

"She might give it back!"
Pinkie reasons with herself
But she's not buying.

Fluttershy leading
A row of little ducks by
Bumps into Gilda

"Watch where you're going!"
"I'm sorry..." Fluttershy says
Gilda roars at her

That's the final straw
Pinkie Pie needs to fix this!
PINKIE PIE STYLE!

Auntie Pinkie Pie?
"I'm a year older than you."
Pinkie trots away

She greets the griffon
Less than enthusiastic
ZAP! Hoof buzzer prank!

Rainbow is amused
Gilda has to play along
She pulls Pinkie in

She makes her aware
She knows what Pinkie's up to
Or, at least, she thinks.

Gilda spots a snack
Upon the table, flavor:
Vanilla lemon!

Pops one in her mouth
Suddenly, flames shoot from her!
Pepper in the drops!

Rainbow: "G! The punch!"
She races to the cool drink
It spills onto her!

"Well, what do you know?"
Punch served in a dribble glass!
"Ha-ha. HiLARious."

"Hey G! Look! Presents!"
Gilda quickly runs over
And starts to open

A cylinder first
She's untying the ribbon
It spits snakes at her!

AJ recognizes
Somepony pulled that on her
Gilda is suspicious

The cake is brought out
Spike wants to blow out candles
Twilight says Gilda

Gilda knocks away Spike
She tries to blow the candles
The flame starts back up

Gilda is quite peeved
Spike burrows into the cake
And pops out the top

Time to pin the tail
Rarity wants the purple
But Gilda takes it

Put on the blindfold
Spin her around and around
Now walk straight ahead!

Gilda thinks it's fake
Turns around and walks away
She slips on some cake

Slide in the kitchen
Shows up in a cloud of dust
Tail is on her beak

"Pinned on the wrong end!"
Pushes her over the edge
She explodes in rage!

Gilda starts a rant
"Never met lamer ponies"
Accuses Pinkie

Rainbow Dash steps in
SHE set up all of the pranks!
"Guess I'M queen lame-o!"

Gilda's shocked at this
No, it HAD to be Pinkie!
Rainbow sets her straight

Gilda leaves, angry
Rainbow apologizes
There are no hard feelings!

Can't pick your friends' friends
You can control your actions
Just be a good friend!

Episode 6

Episode 6:
Boast Busters

Spike encourages
"Come on, Twi! You can do it!"
He sticks his face out

From above his mouth
A GLORIOUS 'stache erupts!
"Ha-ha! You did it!"

He checks off the trick
She has twenty-five so far
And she's not done yet!

Spike likes this one best!
Looks in the mirror, posing.
He'll show Rarity!

Twilight smirks at him
To Spike's dismay, she removes
The magical hair

Talking about magic
Unicorns have a little
Magical talent

But what if they have
A magic special talent?
Just like Twilight does!

"There's not another
In all of Equestria
With your abilities!"

As Spike speaks those words
Two blurs go rushing past them
And he gets tripped up

Two small unicorns
Rushing to see some magic
They are Snips and Snails

A new unicorn
Claims to be most powerful
Spike's not buying it

She's in the town square
Putting on a magic show
They go see what's up

The whole town's gathered
Around a cart- It expands
It's a makeshift stage!

A large cloud of smoke
Appears, and then dissapates
Now there's a pony!

A hat upon her head
And a cloak placed on her back
Create her outfit

"Watch in awe!" she yells
Great and Powerful Trixie
Will perform magic

Rears on her hind legs
Pinwheels and sparks everywhere!
Impressive effects

Rarity is not
Impressed by Trixie's antics
"My, my, what boasting!"

Spike begins to tell
Of Twilight's greater prowess
He sees Rarity

Speech interrupted
Spike exclaims loudly, "Mustache!"
And he bolts away

Twilight sees nothing
That's bad about having skill
And her friends agree

Boasting is different
You shouldn't go all over
Showing off your skills

Having much magic
Does not make you almighty
Besides, Rainbow's best!

Err, I mean, yeah! Boo!
"It seems we have NEIGH-sayers!
Who's so ignorant?"

Are they not aware
They are in the presence of
The best unicorn?

Rarity goes “Pfft.”
Just who does she think she is?
“We all know Twilight is-”

Twilight interrupts
Her friends would think SHE’S bragging
She doesn’t want that!

Rainbow Dash flies up
“What makes you think you’re awesome?”
Vanquished an URSA?

Hoofington distressed
Nopony they could turn to
Trixie saved the day!

The story convinced some
Snips and Snails have decided
Trixie IS the best!

Spike starts to get mad
“How do you know? You weren’t there!”
Twilight zips his mouth

Trixie turns to the
Enthusiastic young ones
Claim's she's better

You don't believe her?
Well, she challenges you all
You do it, she does

Are there no takers?
Trixie looks around the crowd
Singles out Twilight

Twilight backs away
She claims she's nothing special
One word goes too far

Applejack steps up
Using her dexterous tail
She swings her lasso

Trixie's horn glowing
Rope hypnotizes AJ
Then it hogties her

Rainbow gets angry
She shouldn't show off like that!
RAINBOW DASH'S job!

She takes to the sky
And spins around a windmill
Then up through the clouds!

Strikes a pose above
Flies back through the holes in clouds
Water follows her

Sudden stop on stage
The water splashes her back
A rainbow then forms

Rainbow’s satisfied
But Trixie just smirks at her
And casts her spell

The rainbow’s spinning
Dash is caught in the middle
Gets flung off the stage

A cloud forms above
Lightning blasts downwards from it
It zaps Rainbow Dash

Spike suggests unicorn
Implying he wants Twilight
Rarity steps in

She thinks they want her
But she won’t give in to it
Beauty and grace- check!

She insults her mane
That angers Rarity more
She says, “It. Is. ON!”

She starts her talent
Pulls Trixie’s curtains over
They become a dress

Trixie’s spell begins
Spike thinks she won’t win this time
She activates it

Everypony gasps
Rarity knows it’s her mane
Her friends encourage

Spike says that it’s green.
Rarity can’t handle green.
It’s an awful color!

Rarity runs off
She insults the color green
Carrot Top is hurt

Twilight is the last
Nopony else can do it
Trixie calls her out

She doesn’t want to
“I hear my laundry calling”
Twilight runs away

“Trixie proved herself
Was there ever any doubt?”
The blue mare struts off

Later, by town hall
Snips and Snails bring a Smoothie
For Trixie’s drinking

The colts stand around
“Yes?” Trixie asks angrily
“Tell us a story”

Trixie brushes off
The colts start to back away
They run into Spike

He asks them what’s up
Drink for the G and P T
Spike begins to rant

Spike tells Snips and Snails
To not believe Trixie’s tales
They haven’t seen it

Snips gets ideas
Snails does not get the same ones
The two of them flee

Spike tries to convince
Twilight doesn’t hear him out
Won’t show up Trixie

Spike accepts at last
Slams the door in Twilight’s face
Opens and walks out

In the Everfree
Snips and Snails find a cavern
Look for an Ursa

Snails lights up his horn
Wakes up a giant blue bear
Not very happy

The bear roars loudly
Snips and snails flee the crime scene
Back to Ponyville

They come across Spike
He begins to run as well
Looking for some help

The colts find Trixie
While Spike runs to find Twilight
One must be able!

Trixie is disturbed
Snips and Snails knock on her door
“What’s so important?!”

The ursa roars out
Trixie bursts out of the door
The three ponies run

Spike enters the tree
Yells at Twilight for some aid
She runs out to help

Snips demands Trixie
She must vanquish the ursa!
Snails tends to agree

“You brought this thing here?”
Trixie can’t believe her ears
In awe of their act

Trixie tries to win
Uses the earlier rope
Ties up two fingers

Summons a storm cloud
It strikes the ursa’s behind
Doesn’t do damage

Twilight reaches them
Snails tells her it is their fault
Twilight is livid

Trixie admits lies
she says she made it all up
Snips and snails are shocked

Ponies in danger
Twilight finally steps up
Begins her magic

The wind blows softly
Cat’s tails create calm music
Ursa gets drowsy

Water tower lifts
Unscrews and pours water out
Floats into the barn

Milking all the cows
Bottle-esque water tower
Ursa starts drinking

Ursa floats in air
Twilight knocked it unconscious
Flies back to its cave

Cheering from ponies
Praise comes from all of her friends
Twilight is worried

Will her friends hate her?
“Why, whatever do you mean?”
“Trixie’s a loudmouth!”

“You don’t mind magic?”
“We’re proud to have you with us”
Spike’s very impressed

Bear was a baby
Not rampaging, just cranky
Somepony woke it

If that’s a minor,
What’s an ursa MAJOR like?
You DON’T wanna know.

Trixie throws smoke bomb
Runs off into the distance
Let her go, Rainbow.

Now, for Snips and Snails
They accept what is coming
Number twenty-five?

Spike wants treatment too
All three grow great mustaches
“Sweet!” they all exclaim.

Talent isn’t bad
Don’t show off for showing off
Accept who you are!