Applejack was out in the kitchen helping Pinkie Pie make dinner along with their other friends. They were all over at Twilight's for dinner that evening. Rainbow Dash and her friends had just greeted Twilight when they all came over and they were all settling in for a good meal together. Twilight was setting down a few extra chairs while Rainbow Dash approached her.
"Hey Twilight? Do you want any help with that?" Rainbow Dash asked. Twilight shook her head no as she went back to do her work. She tried her best to not show how she was feeling as she could let loose emotions in the privacy of her bedroom. When she finished she went to help her friends a bit and then prepared to head up stairs.
"Don't you want to stay down here. Dinner won't take to long?" Rarity asked. Twilight looked back at her and stopped as she was silent for a bit. Her friend waited for her to speak.
"No...that's okay Rarity I'm just going to go to my room for a few minutes." Twilight said. Rarity was surprised to hear that but smiled anyway.
"Alright we will call you out when dinner is ready." Rarity said. Twilight just simply nodded and walked to her room upstairs, when she got into her room she made sure her room was shut tight and then she sat on her bed.
Once she was on her bed she let her tears loose as she sobbed softly, she had to make sure that she was in her room before she had started this as she didn't want her friends become concerned about her.
She just allowed her true emotions show up as she cried like the pathetic human being that she was. She tried to be as quiet as possible so that her friends didn't hear her. She wondered how much time she could have being interrupted.
She hated herself for everything that she did in her life. She was always mistreating Spike and was just always bossy. She hated her fucking life. Her friends never understood her. They always thought that she was happy all the time but the truth of her life was that she was in a life sucking abyss sapping all the energy from Equestria.
There was no hope for her, just misery and pain, she was worthless just like any piece of garbage. She lowered her head and looked at the floor and let out deep quiet sobs as the tears flowed freely down her cheeks.
She hated her fucking life. She was useless to her friends and she knew it. She knew that her friends probably hated her. She cried softly as her shoulders shook. She just let out all of her emotions that had been building up all morning.
She felt like she wanted to just fucking die and leave Equestria as it was all her fault for being born in the first place. She cried non stop for the next few minutes letting her tears fall to the floor.
She hoped her friends wouldn't catch her looking like this or they would all be worried and that would only make her feel worse about herself. She felt like she was falling down a sad dark abyss where there was only pain and death. Equestria would be so much better if she was fucking dead.
She just sat there and cried as she listened to her friends laugh and joke with eachother. She wished she was just as happy as her friends. She felt so jealous that they were happy but she wasn't. As she cried for a while one of her friends knocked on her door.
"Hey Twilight...." Dinner is almost ready...do you want to set the table?" Applejack asked. Twilight wiped her tears away and made sure to look as happy as possible to fool her friends.
"Sure Applejack. Hold on!" Twilight said. She quickly tried to wipe away her remaining tears and put on a fake smile as she walked over to her door and opened it. She walked out to the kitchen with Applejack and with her help they both set the table while her friends continued to make conversation.
"Hey Twilight! You hungry yet? Pinkie Pie asked in her usual cheerful self. Twilight nodded shyly as she tried to hold back her emotions. Pinkie Pie and her friends found this strange as Twilight usually responded normally but they decided to let it go.
Twilight helped with the meal for a bit as she did it as quickly as she could so she could just go back up in her room where she doesn't have to act. Once she finished helping with dinner for a bit Pinkie took over and thanked Twilight for her help and told her that dinner would be soon.
"Alright fine." Twilight said in an unenthusiastic manner as she walked back to her bedroom. Her friends were kind of weirded out by this behavior as Twilight didn't seem like herself that night. Her friends decided to let it go though once they started smelling the stew again.
When Twilight got back to her room she closed her door and simply let the tears leave her eyes once again as she sat back down and cried softly. She knew that she could never show her friends how she felt that night as they would never understand.
She came to terms that she was imply all alone, she didn't deserve nice friends or a nice family, she felt fucking pathetic. She was a wimp, her friends were better than her in every way as at least they were talented. Alls she could do was teach science.
Twilight wished she could find the tallest cliff and jump from it which would end it all. She wanted something to make her drop dead right there at that exact moment. She didn't deserve to be there.
She cried continuously as tears just fell off her face. She held her head in her hands as she leaned downwards while she sat on the bed and cried into her hands. She could hear her friends joke about the food and anything else they did that day.
She also heard Fluttershy asking her friends if she was okay. Her friends started to say that they noticed that Twilight did look a bit down. She knew that they would be asking her if she was okay at dinner. She needed to be real careful with her response as she didn't want to warn her friends.
The smell of food soon reach Twilight as they continued to cook the food. The smell of food didn't even make her feel better. She didn't deserve to have any warm meals or nice friends. She was a horrible person that nobody understood.
She cried in her room so much, she clutched at her shirt as her heart literally heart, her sobbing almost grew louder but she made sure to stop herself before they got any louder. She didn't want to alert her friends.
Spike continued to talk to Rarity as they tried to fix the positioning of the table so that it wasn't crooked which it was. Twilight tried to calm down as her tears dried on her face. Rarity realized dinner was almost ready so she decided to go tell Twilight. Rarity walked up to Twilight's room and and knocked on her door.
"Hey Twilight dinner is ready. Do you want to come out now. If your not hungry then you don't have to eat but we all want to see you. You ready?" Rarity asked. Twilight tried to cover the sadness in her voice as she spoke as normally as she could.
"Yeah I'm coming just give me a few seconds." Twilight said. Rarity nodded and walked back to the dining room. Twilight collected herself and she prepared to hold back her feelings so that they didn't show while she was eating. She left her room and walked to the dining room.
She slowly continued to walk to the dining room and as she got closer she heard her friends talking and joking around, she opened e door and saw that had all waited for her sit down. She slowly sat at the front of the table and they all served themselves as they put food on their plates.
Her friends all started to dig in as they ate while they talked as well. Twilight ate slowly in comparison to her friends. Rarity noticed that Twilight was eating but was also slow about it as she picked her food around with her fork. She became concerned for her friend as she had been acting silent and distant.
"Twilight are you okay darling? You've been silent almost all night. Is anything bothering you?" Rarity asked her. Twilight shook her head a she denied that anything was wrong as she wondered if Rarity was worried about her.
"No I'm okay." Twilight said sadly as she ate slowly. Rarity looked at Applejack and Applejack looked back at her with a worried expression. Applejack spoke up.
"Yeah Sugarcube. Your acting strangely silent tonight. What's wrong Sugarcube?" Applejack asked. Twilight frowned as she ate slowly. A tear almost fell from her eye so she held it back.
"I said I'm fine." Twilight remarked sharply. Her friends were taken back by her attitude. They all gave her worried expressions. Twilight mentally cursed herself as she had answered with some bitterness in her voice. They were now aware of Twilight's feelings.
They all gave eachother worried looks as they were concerned about their friend. Her friends ate their food while having a conversation that Pinkie Pie had started by accident. Twilight was able to finish first so she hid up in her room for the rest of the night.
Once the rest of her friends finished their food they all hung around and talked to eachother while Rarity looked towards Twilight's room with concern. Meanwhile Twilight was crying to herself. She wiped at her tears as she cried.
After a while Rarity walked up to Twilight's room and knocked on Twilight's door. She was so concerned for Twilight. She was afraid that Twilight was depressed. Twilight opened her door and stared at Rarity.
"Yes Rarity?" Twilight asked.
"Hi Twilight I'm sorry for bothering you I just wanted to come up here to ask you something. You've been hiding up here all night avoiding us except for dinner and you've also been so silent and distant. You also replied with a sharp tone when Applejack asked you what was wrong. Are you sure your okay Twilight? Do you want to talk about it?" Rarity asked.
"I'm perfectly fine Rarity. There's nothing to worry about." Twilight said as she tried to keep her emotions from getting her to cry. Rarity looked her over and saw that there was something wrong. She touched Twilight's shoulder and to comfort her friend.
"Are you sure? Im starting to worry about you. You were so silent at dinner." Rarity said with a concerned expression. Twilight hesitated as she wondered if she should tell the truth.
"Can you shut the door Rarity?" Twilight said. Rarity smiled and shut the door and sat down by Twilight and caressed Twilights back in a soothing manner. Twilight looked at Rarity and spoke.
"I was crying earlier while I was in my room. The reason why I was crying was because I hate my life. I'm bad to you girls and I shouldn't be. I treat you all like shit and that rips me up inside. I'm worthless piece of shit Rarity. I'm a fucking smartass who talks about science. I'm a fucking puppy who follows you guys around and I'm sorry about that." Twilight said as rewards fell down her cheeks.
"No your not. Stop saying that about yourself. You treat us all with kindness. Your good to all of us. Your kind and caring and you know how to help people. Sure you have your bad days but you never lash out at any of us or treat us badly. Don't say that about yourself okay. Your a great friend." Rarity said, Twilight realized Rarity was telling the truth.
"You mean it?" Twilight asked. Rarity nodded. Twilight hugged her and Rarity hugged her back. Twilight immediately went downstairs and apologized to her friends for her behavior earlier that night and she said that she was feeling guilty for treating them badly and they told her that she had never treated them badly and that she shouldn't feel guilty as she hadn't done anything wrong.
Twilight wiped her tears away and asked them if they meant it and they said yes and they said that she should cheer up so they had her cheer up by having dessert with them. Twilight was feeling happy for the rest of the night as she hung out with her friends. She never felt bad about herself ever again.
