I stared at the sandwich in front of me in confusion, I mean, I remember making the sandwich, but I wasn't hungry, just sorta bored after watching TV for a few hours, I just came into the kitchen and made one on autopilot. I put the sandwich in the fridge after a second of deliberation before walking over to the counter and leaning against it. I tried to thing of anything funny or entertaining and my thoughts drifted to my childhood dog, snoopy. 'why don't I have a dog?' I pondered, 'seriously, I have more than enough money, own this house, and love dogs'.

'oh yeah, that's right, I suck at animal care and would probably instantly be labeled as the worlds biggest animal abuser or something stupid like that'.I sighed through my nose before grabbing the remote off the counter and flicking on the TV to peruse the guide (look ma!, I know big boy words!). I blinked. 'Man my thoughts are weird. turning my attention back to the screen I was rewarded with absolutely nothing, well, nothing good anyway, besides an episode of mlp in like two hours, but it was a re-run of an episode I had already watched a thousand times.

I briefly entertain the thought of getting on my PS4, but quickly dismissed that idea as a rather melancholy feeling invaded my body."...mrm" I muttered before sighing and turning around. I walk towards the couch on the other side of the counter, but as I reach it I hear my doorbell give out a ring. I glance back, an annoyed sigh escaping my lips before I realize that my PSvr might have finally arrived. "RE7 here I come!' I excitedly thought as I rushed to the door.

A quick glance through the peephole reveals an empty street, raising my brow in confusion I open my door to find a small box on the covered porch.'YES!' I think with a grin, before pausing, a quick glance both left and right reveal no mail truck or delivery boy. I shrugged and rationalized it away as it having taken longer than I thought getting to the door.

I picked up the package and closed the door before sprinting into the dining room to open it (nearly tripping as I did so). A quick inspection shows that it was indeed bound for my house, and was not the neighbor's mail or something, further cementing the thought that I was going to enjoy my first venture into the realm of VR. However, the return address was less of an address, and more of a declaration of undying love to me. I furrowed my brow at the strange love letter before blinking, and having it inexplicably turn into a crude depiction of an upside-down flamingo (and no, it wasn't just my perspective, there was a background on the doodle).

My eyes widened before I shut my eyes and quickly opening them again, revealing a shockingly accurate drawing of my childhood pet (a hermit crab so creatively dubbed 'Sheldon', not snoopy).I paused for a moment before thinking, 'so, this is not a VR headset but a hallucination, a magic box, a dream, or some unholy combination of the three, well, probably' I thought, before questioning why I just thought of something so ungodly stupid, then some stupid shit about a t-rex or something, like when I usually thought about what I was thinking.

deciding not to dwell on my possible insanity, I hastily snatched a kitchen knife from the kitchen (where else?) before making an incision along the middle of the line of tape keeping the box closed. flipping open the flaps revealing three small vials, each had a paper label depicting a stallion from mlp. One had a horn, one had wings, and one had hoo-nothing.

each vial contained a clear liquid that, judging by how fast the small air bubbles moved when I tilted them, had the consistency of water. looking back at the return address I had to resist the urge to blink as I saw it had changed yet again, it read "what'll it be, bud?". after I read this I gave in to to the temptation to blink, changing it to a pair of scribbled down open eyes with the caption "I win!" below it. deciding to ignore the box that won a staring contest, I instead turned my attention back to the vials which were obviously magical. or a prank. could be either/or considering who this was obviously from

shaking them did nothing, so I decided to entertain whatever magical entity sent me this (*cough*discord*cough*) and popped the top off of the unicorn vial, a quick sniff showed it actually smelled like daisies for some reason. Shrugging, I poured liquid into my mouth, noting it tasted like grape juice, and swallowed. everything suddenly went dark

My eyes snapped open as I bolted upright, only to recoil, expecting the cliche splitting headache in this situation. after a couple seconds of nothing I cracked opened my eyes, 'huh guess it was noth-' BAM! instant migraine. I rolled around for a couple seconds, clutching my head in my...appendages. "Fuck...you...Di-Murphy!" I grunted out, taking note of the unusually long and wide tongue as I did so.

As the S.I.M cooled down (sudden inexplicable migraine), I once again opened my eyes, this time confirming what I already suspected by looking down at my body. I was a hor-pony (wait-no-fuck! that's even worse!). with a wide grin I jumped up and-(cliche!)- suddenly found myself taking on a mouthful of grass. Immediately pushing with my front hooves I returned myself to a state of semi-balance.

Quickly spitting out the dirt and grass in my mouth, I leaned back before raising my right fore-hoof to my forehead. I felt it bump into a solid hunk of magic bone which jerked my head back due to the force, causing my other fore- hoof to move which made me, you guessed it!, fall flat on my face. Luckily no dirt got in my mouth this time. Propping myself up again,I looked around. I was surrounded on three sides by trees and on the fourth side a clearing housing a village that looked suspiciously like ponyville. Glancing back down at my body I took In the finer details, my coat
was a green that darkened on my hooves. My mane and tail were both brown.

turning my head more to see my flank revealed the outline of my new body surrounded by a flash of light, "wait," I said, "is my cutie mark for teleportation?" I decided to test this and tried to use my magic by concentrating on my head. nothing happened. I furrowed my brow before trying to force my horn to do anything. nothing. I gave a sigh before I was hit with an idea. I raised my hoof and lightly tapped my horn, focusing on the resulting sensation I then tried to do something with it. At my command, my horn let off a few sparks.

I grinned before focusing on the ground a few feet away and doing the thing with my horn again. With a flash, crackle, and a pop I was suddenly a few feet away! I smiled at this development and thought about what I left behind...my only living relative was my brother and he was literally the worst, my job was boring,(as jobs generally are) 'yeah' I thought, 'I don't care, life was boring'. I shook my head before returning to the matter at hand (or hoof) and closed my eyes and focused on the spot I was just at without looking. I appeared a few feet in the air before falling on my face.

'gonna have t work on teleporting without visual contact' I thought before shakily sitting up and then trying to stand, turning to ponyville as I stood I took a step-and promptly fell on my face

an hour later and I was still no closer to walking on four legs. 'fuck it' I thought, ' ill just teleport... after learning to levitate thats an essential unicorn skill!'. focusing on some random branch and using my horn resulted in a small flash and the twig appeared in front of me. I frowned and tried again, this time focusing on lifting the stick. I used my horn and it was surrounded by a blue aura and promptly crushed it. I frowned before trying again, this time putting much less power behind it. it slowly floated up and I grinned like a madman. 'Okay!' I thought,'Now that I can pass as a unicorn lets g- wait, no, that would be stupid''

I frowned as I realized even if I was the worlds best sorcerer I could never pass off as a pony if I didn't know how to walk I could never pass as a pony. "uh..." I muttered as I put my front right hoof forward...then back rig-yeah, nope fell again

1/2 an hour later

"okay..." I whispered as I broke into a slow, clumsy waddle."getting better..."

3 hours later

I galloped around the clearing like a pro. as it turns out, without the typical human balance issues once you could trot you were pretty much a pro at this whole 'locomotion' thing. With a smirk and a sigh of relief I finally set my sights on ponyville (again) and prepared to meet the cast.

Author's Note

hopefully this wasn't TOO bad