My Little Pony: Scrotie McBoogerballs
Author's Note
My very first My Little Pony fanfiction, I originally uploaded this on Deviantart, the Scrotie McBoogerballs story I used is on the website fanfiction.net, written by StephenMcTowelie.
My Little Pony: Scrotie McBoogerballs
Twilight Sparkle asked Sunset Shimmer to get famous books from the human world and to bring them to Equestria so she can read them, she was excited about which books would come out for her to read, Spike and Starlight Glimmer were excited as well, Sunset Shimmer arrives into Equestria and was in her unicorn form, she reaches into her saddlebag and takes out a book,
"Here you go, Twilight, the most famous book in the human world, I've never read it myself, and it has a sequel, it was banned in several areas too." Sunset Shimmer said,
Twilight Sparkle, Starlight Glimmer, and Spike look at the book and see the title,
"The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs." Twilight Sparkle said,
"Scrotie McBoogerballs? What kind of name is that?" Starlight Glimmer asked,
"I was asking myself the same thing, I was so grossed out when I saw that name, I don't know why it's famous either." Sunset Shimmer replied,
"What's the second book called?" Spike asked,
"I have no clue." Sunset Shimmer replied,
"Well, thank you, Sunset, I'll start reading this right away." Twilight Sparkle said,
"With pleasure, Twilight, write to me if you want anymore books." Sunset Shimmer replied, and she goes back into the human world.
Twilight Sparkle sits in her throne in the castle and starts the first page,
"It was a warm summer morning when Scrotie McBoogerballs awoke to find his wart covered pe... *gag*. Eww, that is disgusting, okay, Twilight, keep going, that's a bad word. ...sitting in stale fetid diarr... *gag* *vomit*. Oh, Celestia, I can't read this, this is way too gross, I'll tell Sunset Shimmer to take it back." Twilight Sparkle said, and she leaves to go write a letter to Sunset Shimmer in her book,
Spike and Starlight Glimmer see the book, they were waiting for a chance to read it themselves, the two look,
"He took a pair of rusty cu... *gulp* *vomit*." Spike said,
"Let me see, he then cut off his dog's drooping testi... *vomit* *gag* *gag*. Ewwwww." Starlight Glimmer said,
the door bursts open and Rainbow Dash flies in,
"Can I have the next Daring Do book in the series?" Rainbow Dash asked,
"Sure, hold on." Spike replied, Rainbow Dash looks at the Scrotie McBoogerballs book,
"Never mind, guys, here it is, thanks." Rainbow Dash said and she flies away,
"Rainbow, wait, that's... not... Daring Do." Starlight Glimmer said,
Twilight walks back and sees her assistant and her student,
"Where's the book?" Twilight Sparkle asked,
"Rainbow Dash took it." Spike replied, Twilight's mouth fell at the shock that the book was taken.
Rainbow Dash arrives at her home and was excited to read the book which she thought was Daring Do, she opens to the first page and reads the first sentence that caught her eyes,
"Walking out the house he spotted the bloodiest pus covered decomposing kangaroo fetus filled with magg... *gag*." Rainbow Dash read out loud, she skips over it,
"He immediately stuck it up his infected bloody semen a... *gag* gross!" Rainbow Dash said, she skips over it,
"Afterwards, he wiped his... flank... with his hand and licked his fingers... *vomits* what is this?!" Rainbow Dash asked with shock, and she looks at the cover,
"The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs?! This is disgusting!" Rainbow Dash said, and she flies outside and throws it away.
The book falls and lands on Pinkie Pie's head,
"Ouch!" Pinkie Pie said as the book lands on the ground,
"What's this?" Pinkie Pie asked, and she sees the book,
"The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs, I've never heard of a pony with that name before, I wonder if this is a true story, let's browse through it." Pinkie Pie said, and she opens to a random page,
"When Scrotie McBoogerballs boarded the train he sat down in a puddle of three day old sour hobo pi... ewwww, that's not a good spot to sit." Pinkie Pie said as she browses through the story,
"On his way to the hospital he saw a horny menstruating horse. That made Scrotie McBoogerballs curious. So Scrotie walked over and shoved his head up the horse's gaping *vomit* *more vomit* gross, gross, gross! Who in the name of Celestia wrote this?!" Pinkie Pie asked with horror, she looks at the name on the book,
"Leopold "Butters" Scotch, I have no idea who that is, but that person better find a different hobby! There is no way I can read this to the Cake twins!" Pinkie Pie said, and she throws the book behind her and walks away.
Fluttershy was flying around taking care of the animals, she feeds them and sees the book, her attention was caught and picks it up and decides to read it to the animals at her cottage, she calls all of the animals out,
"Gather around, everyone, it's story time." Fluttershy said in a sweet and gentle voice, and the animals gather around her, Fluttershy opens to a page in the book,
"The doctor began by shoving a needle in his left te... *gag* sorry, I have to skip this part. "What seems to be the problem?" asked the doctor "I saw... Sarah Jessica Parker." Scrotie McBoogerballs answered "Oh my, this is bad." the Doctor said "Give it to me straight." Scrotie said "You can't simply un-see that... um... um... freak. You can burn your eyes out and soak the sockets in week old semen... *vomit*." Fluttershy said, the animals vomit as well, leaving a big mess,
"Oh my gosh, this is gross, I can't read this." Fluttershy said, and she flies away and throws the book onto the ground, it tumbles and opens to a page,
Applejack was walking around and taking a break from working at her home, she sees the book,
"Huh? What's this?" Applejack asked, and she walks to the book,
"When he got to Starbucks he remembered that he had removed a herpes ridden..." Applejack read, she vomits at the next word,
"Golly! That is nastier than eatin' an apple that has been sittin' on the ground for a week." Applejack said, Applejack decides to try again,
"He then ordered a Frappuccino and asked the waitress, who was menstruating if she could garnish it with a used tampon." Applejack read, she was about to gag but held it in,
"Who in tarnation wrote this?" Applejack asked as she holds her vomit in her mouth, she runs back to vomit in the bathroom,
Big Macintosh sees the book and decides to read a small part,
"When he finished he skipped off to his job but when he saw Sarah Jessica Parker going into McDonalds he threw up all over a little boy jerking off a..." Big Macintosh read, he gags and was about to vomit, he closes the book with his right front hoof and then runs to the bathroom to vomit,
Rarity was walking back home from the spa and sees the book,
"Oh? What do we have here?" Rarity asked, and she flips the book over,
"Scrotie McBoogerballs, not the most pleasant name, but perhaps it'd make a good book for Sweetie Belle on her school assignment, I should take it home and read it before I hand it to her." Rarity said, and she opens the book with her magic,
"Scrotie McBoogerballs showed up to his job at the porn store and like always he had to jerk off into a cup and give it to his boss before he clocked in. His boss poured the semen..." Rarity read, she then vomited
"Do my eyes deceive me?! What vulgarity!" Rarity said, and she decides to turn to a random page,
"It was so disgusting that Scrotie vomited into his peanut butter and moldy..." Rarity said, she screamed in shock at the next words and fainted,
"Rarity?" Sweetie Belle asked, and she runs to her, she sees her on the floor unconscious, she looks around,
"Oh, perfect, a book for my school assignment, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo gotta see this too." Sweetie Belle said, and she puts it in her saddlebag and goes to meet her friends.
Sweetie Belle meets up with her friends,
"I've got a book, we can do our group assignment." Sweetie Belle said,
"Come on then, there isn't time, Miss Cheerilee is waiting for us." Scootaloo replied, and they run,
"Can we at least take a peek?" Apple Bloom asked,
"We can't, we're late." Sweetie Belle replied, and they run into the school, they enter their class,
"Oh good, you three found a book, now go ahead and read it to the class." Cheerilee said,
"Miss Cheerilee, we just found it, so we haven't had the time to read it beforehand." Apple Bloom said,
"It's okay, now go on and read part of it to the class, this will be a part of your group assignment." Cheerilee replied, and the three turn to a page to read the book, the other students laugh,
"The book is about a character named Scrotie McBoogerballs." Diamond Tiara said, the students laugh more, Cheerilee chuckles,
"Okay, class, quiet down, let's hear them read for their assignment." Cheerilee said, and they quiet down,
"When he went to wash down the burger he noticed there was butt cheese in his milkshake and not just any butt cheese, Sarah Jessica Parker's butt cheese. "How did that get in there?" Scrotie... hollered out loud. The thought horrified him, the yellowing chunky butt nuggets of sweat, secretions, and dried... poop were disgusting...*gag* *vomit*" Sweetie Belle said, Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, Cheerilee, and the entire class all vomit from the story, with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon vomiting the most,
"Girls, I think we've heard enough from that story, I understand you three didn't have time to read it, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to give you three an F." Cheerilee said,
the three look down in disappointment before vomiting even more, the entire class continues to vomit and Cheerilee grabs the book with her mouth and throws it out the window.
The book lands outside and stays there for some time before the next read comes,
"What's this?" a gray female Pegasus asked, and she flies down to the book,
Derpy tries to read the title but was having trouble, she gets it eventually and chuckles at the name, she opens to a random page to see if she would like the story,
"After the boss farted in his face Scrotie counted the cash in the register and then went off to clean the peep show booths. He licked up all day the old c... *gag* *gag* *vomit* ew, gross, gross, gross, I can't read this." Derpy said,
"Derpy." she heard Twilight Sparkle said,
she looks back and sees her running to her, Spike and Starlight Glimmer were with her,
"Oh good, you got the book, I really need it." Twilight Sparkle said,
"Okay, take it with you, I can't handle it." Derpy replied, and she hands the book over,
the three head back home and put the book in front of the mirror, Twilight Sparkle wrote in her journal to Sunset Shimmer that she wants a different book, she has not came back yet,
"Come on, Sunset, what's taking you so long?" Twilight Sparkle asked,
"Come on, Twilight, it's getting late, we should head to bed." Starlight Glimmer replied, Twilight Sparkle agrees and she goes to sleep along with Starlight Glimmer and Spike.
Princess Celestia just went to bed while Princess Luna raised the moon, she entered the dream realm to protect the ponies from nightmares, she looks at the dreams in Ponyville and was shocked, she was seeing nightmares of several ponies they got from reading and hearing The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs, she sees parts from the book that were the ponies' thoughts on the story, Princess Luna vomits from the sights,
"This is vulgar." Princess Luna said, and she vomits again,
"How did this happen?!" Princess Luna asked, she goes through the nightmares to fix them and she hears the name Scrotie McBoogerballs several times,
"Scrotie McBoogerballs? What kind of name is that? Where did it come from?" Princess Luna asked, and she investigates,
she eventually arrives into Pinkie Pie's dream and finds out that it was from a book they read, Pinkie Pie was also having a dream about meeting Butters, he was an earth pony in her dream, Princess Luna gets the information she needed and then goes on to try to do her job, she was vomiting several times in the dream realm as well,
"This is the worst night I've ever had." Princess Luna said to herself, and she continues her job.
The next day comes and everypony sees a bright light in the sky, everypony heads outside and sees Princess Celestia and Princess Luna in the sky, Luna told Celestia what she found in the dream realm last night earlier in the morning,
"Where is the book?" Princess Celestia asked, Twilight Sparkle uses telekinesis to bring it out, Celestia takes it with her magic,
"Who wrote this?!" Princess Celestia asked angrily,
"Leopold "Butters" Scotch, step forward at once!" Princess Luna replied angrily, and nopony did,
"Wait!" said a female voice, they look back and see Sunset Shimmer in her unicorn form, she runs forward,
"There is no Leopold "Butters" Scotch here, this book is from the world I'm staying in." Sunset Shimmer said, the others gasp,
"You're saying, this book, is from the other side of the mirror?!" Princess Luna asked angrily,
"Yes, but please, let me explain, I was doing Twilight a favor, she wanted to read books from that world, so I looked for the most famous book in that world, and it was this one." Sunset Shimmer replied, the other ponies were horrified,
"How did this become famous?!" Princess Luna asked angrily,
"I'm asking myself the same thing, I have heard from my sister, this book is very vulgar, whoever wrote this should be ashamed of themselves!" Princess Celestia replied angrily, meanwhile on the other side of the mirror, Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny are reading the story on the computer and laugh a bit;
"Send this book back, and Twilight, make sure this doesn't happen again." Princess Celestia said,
"Yes, Princess." Twilight Sparkle replied, and the two princesses fly away, Sunset Shimmer runs to Twilight Sparkle and her friends,
"Sorry I took a while, I was looking for the sequel to that book, I just found it, it's called The Poop That Took a Pee." Sunset Shimmer said, the citizens groan in disgust,
"Ewwww, that doesn't sound fun." Pinkie Pie said,
"Who comes up with such things?!" Rarity asked,
"I'm not sure, I don't know who wrote it, there's no one at the school named Leopold." Sunset Shimmer replied,
"Well, at least we got to it in time, who knows what would have happened if this got all the way to Manehattan or the Crystal Empire." Twilight Sparkle said,
"I think we can all agree to never talk 'bout this ever again." Applejack said, the others agree,
"Well, I guess we all learned a lesson today: not all books are pleasant to read." Twilight Sparkle said, the others agree, they all head home and Twilight Sparkle told Sunset Shimmer she wanted to try a different book from the human world, Sunset Shimmer comes back with the book Gulliver's Travels, Twilight Sparkle reads it and greatly enjoyed it, it reminded her of several Daring Do books, she finishes it quickly because she enjoyed it so much and then gives it to Rainbow Dash for her to read, she truly enjoyed it as well, and Sunset Shimmer continued bringing in other famous books for the two to enjoy to read.
