Far below us the forest thundered past, patches of yellow and green and brown blurring together like an organic kaleidoscope. I grasped Thorax more tightly around his neck as we approached the edge of the crater, the boundary demarcating the anti-magic properties of the Dark Throne. Feeling my magic sense disappear, my legs began to tremble. I'm powerful enough to levitate myself, so fear of heights was a novel experience.
"Are you doing okay, Starlight?" Thorax asked me, shifting his neck against my aggressive grip. "You're shaking a little."
"I'm just a little unsettled flying without a magic safety net," I admitted. "I didn't think it'd be possible to restore the Dark Throne after we shattered it. Not that I'm complaining about having my teleportation blocked, since it helps protect your fellow changelings. I do appreciate the ride."
Twilight Sparkle smiled at Thorax from where she coasted along our right side. "That makes two of us," she said. "My wing strength isn't that great. I don't think I could have carried Starlight Glimmer all this way."
"Oh, it's no trouble! It's just fortunate I was in Ponyville when you needed me," said Thorax. "As for the Dark Throne, it was a miracle we were able to fix it. We had to find every missing shard, and some of them flew almost to the edge of the crater! But this will leave us with a defense against somepony like the Storm King, although Chrysalis willing—er, sorry, it's an old expression—we'll never need it."
"I assume the friendship problem we're about to face won't require magic, or the Cutie Map wouldn't have sent the two of us here," said Twilight, playfully swooping over our heads.
Thorax grinned. "Oh, about that. I have an amazing surprise for you both when we arrive!"
"Really? What is it?" I asked.
"It's a surprise, silly. I can tell you one thing, though: I know why the Cutie Map sent you here! We were already planning to invite the two of you over to help solve a big friendship problem."
"Interesting. Hopefully we'll be up to the task," said Twilight.
"Oh, you will," said Thorax, gaining altitude until we were level with the top of the mountainous hive. "Don't you worry about that." He touched down on the rocky plateau at the very tip of the hive, where dozens of other changelings were waiting for us. Twilight landed beside us. I paused for a moment, reflexively trying to levitate myself off Thorax's back before remembering the anti-magic properties of the Throne. I scrambled off less gracefully than I'd hoped and stood up straight.
Twilight and I were surrounded by smiles, and many of the changelings hugged us. "This warm welcome certainly isn't a friendship problem," said Twilight, smiling back.
"That's because the friendship problem isn't here at all. We've finally conquered all the friendship problems we had in the hive, which is why we're ready to reveal our new plan to you," said Thorax. "You might want to sit down for this."
Thorax and his brother Pharynx walked up next to Twilight and sat flanking her. Twilight and I sat down as well—Pharynx was seated on my right. A lemon-colored changeling sat on the other side of me and put her leg around my withers. It made me feel uncomfortable, but I didn't want to spoil the mood so I said nothing.
"I'm Xeros," she said to me. I thought it was a she, at least. Even though I'd spent time around the changelings, I hadn't asked them how I was supposed to tell the difference.
"Oh, um, nice to meet you," I said, grinning sheepishly. "Starlight Glimmer."
"Yes! We know who you are, Starlight." Her voice brimmed with excitement.
Similarly, Pharynx placed a leg around Twilight. Twilight silently shot me a curious look that I interpreted to mean 'we need to teach them about personal space', and I nodded.
Then Twilight's eyes widened, and she blushed and covered them with both hooves. I turned my head behind me to see what the fuss was, and noticed two changelings mounting each other. It look vaguely like they were having sex, though I wasn't even certain if changelings did that.
"Oh my goodness," I said, turning my head back to look away. "Um, Thorax...? Ponies don't normally do that in public."
"Huh?" he said, looking over. "Oh, that's why you're embarrassed! Don't worry, it's not what it looks like."
"I hate to be prudish, but we'd probably be more comfortable if they could do whatever they're doing in private," said Twilight, eyes aimed downward.
Thorax cleared his throat. "Guys, we haven't explained data transfers to our guests yet. Can you hold off until we get there?"
"But we just started," said one of the changelings. I wasn't looking to see which one.
"Ah, well. I guess it's alright then," said Thorax, sighing. "They have to learn about it anyway."
"Learn about what?" asked Twilight, averting her gaze with a hoof. "And did you say 'data transfer'?"
"Changelings have the ability to transmit memories and experiences between each other," said Pharynx. "It helps keep us all on the same page. We used to do it all the time when Chrysalis was in charge, except for Thorax here, who always refused. After the metamorphosis he made it illegal for a while, but I convinced him to change his mind after I earned these gaudy colors."
"I'm grateful for that, too," said Thorax. "For a while I was worried if I did a transfer that I'd stop being 'me', but that was silly. If I'd done transfers after meeting Spike, I might have been able to change the entire hive while Chrysalis was still here by sharing my knowledge of the joy of friendship."
"I finally got him to upload his memories into me, and it proved he was right about everything," said Pharynx. "Then he let me return the favor. Now he's a real changeling." Pharynx reached over Twilight and gave his brother a noogie.
"Heh, yeah," said Thorax, pushing Pharynx off. "But that's how we've managed to fix all the friendship problems in the hive! I was able to share everything I've learned with every changeling. We all put friendship first now."
"That's amazing," said Twilight, blushing again as she removed her hoof and briefly looked over at the pair of changelings. Her curiosity was stronger than mine. I kept my eyes forward, on Twilight and Thorax.
"How does it work?" I asked. "I'd, um, still rather not watch."
"It's an incredible experience," said Xeros.
"I'd explain it now, but we'll be showing you firsthoof in a little bit," said Thorax. "This gets to the reason you're here, though. We have a sure-fire way to fix all of the friendship problems in Equestria!"
"Really? That's great, but I'm not sure how that would be possible," I said.
"Starlight's right, Thorax. Friendship problems are always individual in nature. But if you have a way to reduce the number of problems, we're all ears, figuratively speaking of course," said Twilight.
"Exactly, the problems are unique to the individuals. Much like Starlight originally thought, it's that individuality that allows for friendship problems in the first place," said Thorax. "Now that we have friendship mastered at the hive, we can fix everypony else's problems by turning them into changelings!"
"Hay, that's a great... What," said Twilight, following it with a nervous laugh. "I'm sorry, I could have sworn you just said 'turn everypony into changelings'."
"Oh, that's because I did. That's the surprise," said Thorax. "Don't worry, it works perfectly. We've already tried it on several different races of—"
"Thorax! Ponies aren't going to want to turn into changelings," I said. "I mean, maybe a few of them might, but most ponies are happy being ponies. And I was wrong about trying to remove pony individuality!" Xeros started to caress my back with her hoof, and I nervously nudged her with the cannon of my leg. She didn't get the hint.
"We're not removing individuality, we're just controlling it. Changelings don't feel and believe things because our minds randomly come to certain conclusions—we're programmed to have specific, individual traits," said Pharynx. "As for ponies not wanting to change, once a pony becomes a changeling, they'll love it. We simply program their brains that way."
Twilight tried to stand up, and Pharynx gripped her harder. "No. You have to stay here," he said, then chuckled.
"I think maybe we need to talk to Thorax about this in private first," I said, and felt Xeros grip me tighter with her leg. I tried to stand up and she held me down with a single limb. Changelings were remarkably strong, I discovered.
"We'll show you. It won't hurt hardly at all," Thorax said to Twilight. "It's actually fascinating, and don't worry, you'll keep your magic. In fact, you'll have complete access to magic again as soon as you're one of us."
"Thorax, l-let us go," said Twilight, her voice cracking.
"No. You haven't been fixed yet," said Pharynx.
I struggled against my captor as she began to straddle me and pin me to the stone flooring like an insect in a specimen collection.
"You don't know this because you aren't changelings, but you're surrounded by drones who love you right now. There's so much love up here, it's overwhelming! Very soon you'll be able to sense it, too, and share it more than you've ever dreamed," said Thorax. "But I really need you to relax and play along, because it's a multi-step process. Now then. Where do you want me to bite you? I can do it on your shoulder, or somewhere more intimate, like your teats."
"What?!" said Twilight, blushing like fire.
"Heh, look at her blush," said Pharynx, and then he gently kissed her cheek.
"It's a very personal process," said Thorax. "I know you're shy because you're a pony, but changelings are open about everything. Don't you want to experience a data transfer yourself?"
"I suppose I might, but..." said Twilight. I could hear the curiosity ringing in her voice. She was clearly afraid, but she was still Twilight Sparkle.
As for me, I was on the edge of a panic attack. I gritted my teeth so they wouldn't chatter. It took me a moment to realize I wasn't cold. I was simply more afraid than I'd ever been in my life. I wanted to say something, but I was paralyzed by fear at the moment—not to mention immobilized by Xeros's strength.
"Everybuggy else will start transferring data after we've begun your first transfer," said Thorax. "But I'm getting ahead of myself. Shoulder or teats?"
"Neither! Thorax, please—friends don't do things to friends without their consent!" said Twilight.
"It's fine. We'll get your consent after the fact," said Pharynx. "You won't suffer at all."
"It's only taking us longer if you resist," said Thorax, rubbing a hoof near Twilight's teats.
"Shoulder! Shoulder," said Twilight, shutting her eyes tight.
"Okay then. It'll hurt for just a fraction of a second, and then it will feel wonderful," said Thorax, and then he sunk his fangs into the place where Twilight's back met her shoulder. Twilight grunted and shivered.
"No!" I shouted, the desperation finally breaking me free of paralysis. I felt on the verge of tears, but I couldn't cry. The whole experience was surreal, like a dream. This couldn't possibly be happening, could it? I was in denial because we had nothing left to hope for: our lack of magic cut off our ability to call for help, nopony else was around for miles, and with the Dark Throne back in power not even Discord would know we were in trouble.
Xeros started kissing my face, and I couldn't move my legs to intervene. I stopped trying to push her off of me because it was only sapping what little strength I had. I started feeling a warmth in my belly, and I hated myself for it. Morose, I wondered if I would ever see Trixie again.
"Please don't," I said, gasping. "I have a marefriend already."
"It's okay!" giggled Xeros. "I don't think there's anything wrong with two mares being intimate."
"Aren't you a mare?" I asked. "I mean... I don't know..."
"Changelings aren't male or female, exactly," said Pharynx.
"We all come with reproductive parts, but the eggs only activate in the Queen," said Thorax. "Right now that's me. Spike always thought I was male, though. That's why I go by 'King Thorax' instead."
"W-what's happening to me?" gasped Twilight, shuddering as her flesh began to bulge out slightly. I didn't want to watch, but I couldn't tear my eyes away.
"The physical change is the first step," said Thorax. "If you don't fight it, it's actually quite enjoyable."
"Starlight, help me!" she cried out, and I winced.
"It's okay," said Pharynx. "You'll be fine. Just stop fighting it." He began gently massaging her flesh as her bulging pelt began to take on a slight shine.
"Twilight, I... I can't move," I said. "Thorax, you have to stop this."
"Shh," said Xeros, and she craned her neck around to kiss me directly on the lips.
"You don't understand, I have a marefriend," I said. "It's against my moral—"
"Oh, right. You ponies only have one intimate partner at a time. Don't worry, we'll delete those pesky morals once you're one of us," said Xeros.
"I wish you knew how much we all love you, Starlight," said Thorax. "But you'll both understand very soon, so you'll forgive us."
"That doesn't make what you're doing right, it only makes it tragic!" I said. "And deleting morals? What does that even mean?"
"Burning in chest and shoulder disappeared the moment I stopped fighting," said Twilight. A scientist to the bitter end, she was undoubtedly recording her experiences out loud so I would be able to share them if I escaped. She'd probably do the same thing if she were dying from a toxin. "Now there's a throbbing in my legs and neck... it's warm, like a hug, and it tingles... it's oddly pleasurable, like I'm stretching a neglected limb."
"Relax," said Xeros. "See how much your friend is enjoying herself. Doesn't that look like fun?"
Twilight leaned her shoulders back into Pharynx. She wasn't smiling, but she was assisting with his massages regardless. I could see the fur of her pelt melding and forming smooth plates which covered her body, segmenting it into pieces. Twilight Sparkle was gradually turning into a purple changeling—one of the transformed ones, not the original kind. Her wings had grown a magenta-covered shell, and they started to take on an iridescent quality as they slipped further upwards onto her back. She was also growing slightly in size, apparently destined to be larger than most changelings, more like Thorax and his sibling.
"It does f-feel nice," said Twilight, "but you need to change me back after this..." She didn't sound sure of herself.
"Sorry drone, this is a one-way trip," said Pharynx. "Not that it matters. Once you're completely transformed, you'll want to be one of us forever."
Twilight's horn grew a crooked point, and the hair from her mane and tail fell out onto the floor as Pharynx pulled hooffulls of it free from her increasingly insectoid body. The only part of her that wasn't changing was her eyes, which were shut tight most of the time but would open in surprise every few moments.
"I can't be like this forever. You have to change me back!" she said, gasping.
"I'm sorry Twilight, that's impossible," said Thorax. "But there's something wonderful to look forward to. As part of the process of becoming a changeling, we'll be loading all of our knowledge into your brain. It's like having a library in your mind! I'll bet you can't wait for that to happen."
"No... well, maybe," mumbled Twilight, and she smiled with a goofy-looking grin.
"See, I knew you'd like that," said Thorax. "She's beautiful, isn't she?" he asked me.
"I... yes, she is," I said, unable to avoid the truth. "The whole process is beautiful, but you can't do this to ponies against their will."
"Uh, sure we can. We're doing it right now, dummy," said Pharynx.
"What my brother means," said Thorax, "is that ponies will be grateful once the process is complete. You'll see why soon, just relax and watch."
Unable to fight, I had no choice but to bear witness. I wasn't enjoying the show, however. My heart was pounding like a jackhammer and the adrenaline wouldn't leave my veins. Deep down, my subconscious mind knew how screwed I was. I tried to relax, and ever so slowly my heart rate began to fall. This wasn't helped by Xeros massaging my shoulders and kissing me on the neck and face.
"I love you, Starlight," Xeros whispered in my ear. I felt my cheeks burn.
"I feel exhausted, but... there's something outside me, a new warmth. It's filling my core... floating all around me..." said Twilight. Two nubs were pushing their way out of her forehead, flanking her horn with round, magenta-colored mandibles.
"That's love," said Thorax. "Let it inside. It will nourish you."
Twilight panted, her muzzle fully shifting into a soft, flexible chitin as she bared her fangs. She began to look masculine with the harder edges to her muzzle, and an odd-looking, ribbony tongue now dangled outside of her mouth. "Oh it tastes so good," she whispered, loudly enough that I could still hear. "I'm swimming in it, there's an ocean around me... but I'm still enervated."
"That's because of the physical changes," said Pharynx. "It's a good thing, too. It will make it easier to hold you here until we complete your transformation."
"What more is there?" I asked. "Her eyes are the only thing that haven't changed."
"The eyes don't change until the very end," said Pharynx, "but there's more to being a changeling than a physical body."
Thorax nodded. "The physical changes are only step one. We need to convert her brain next, so memory rewiring is the second step. The third step is depersonalization, which is where she'll pick up a copy of all of our memories," he explained. "The fourth and final step is personality override and activation."
"You skipped a step," said Pharynx, grinning. "All the begging, just before activation."
"Begging? You're monsters!" I snarled.
"No, no, you've got it all wrong," said Thorax. "Not begging us to stop! Begging us to finish the procedure. After depersonalization, everybuggy begs to be activated. It's actually kind of adorable."
"How... how does the data transfer work?" asked Twilight, panting softly.
"We're constantly exchanging memories," said Xeros. "It's an intimate procedure, and one we can freely engage in now that Thorax has lifted the ban."
"We wanted Twilight's first time to be a data transfer the two of you could witness up close," said Pharynx, pulling the exhausted new bugpony up into a standing position. He reached under her tail and tugged at her abdomen, pulling out an extension ending in a thick-tipped stinger.
"Heavenly Celestia!" gasped Twilight, shuddering.
"Yes, ovipositors can be a little sensitive," said Thorax. "But only the Queen—which is me, again—can use them to lay eggs. My drones use them for a different purpose: transferring knowledge, experiences, and memories." He walked out in front of Twilight and turned away from her. Pharynx guided Twilight up behind his sibling.
"What are you doing?" asked Twilight.
"You need to climb partway onto his back. The data transfer will begin after you stab your stinger into his gut," said Pharynx.
"Don't worry, it doesn't hurt me," said Thorax. "Only for a brief moment, but then it feels nice."
Twilight struggled against Pharynx as he placed her into mounting position. "I... this is obscene," she protested. "I've never even b-been with another pony before!"
"You're not mating with him, you're just transferring data," said Pharynx. "You ponies and your stuffy personalities are so amusing."
I closed my eyes. I didn't want to see this. It might not have been mating, but to a pony, one pony mounting another always looks salacious. "I can't watch," I said.
"You should," said Xeros. "It's beautiful. But whatever makes you most comfortable." She kissed me again, on the side of my mouth. This time the kiss lingered.
"Here, I'll crouch down," said Thorax. "Now climb on top and thrust with your stinger. You want to stab in the center, between the fourth and fifth abdominal bands—but instinct should guide you."
"Ah! I c-can't control it," I heard Twilight yelp. "It has a mind of its own!"
"Just a couple of misses there... Try to relax, and you'll hit the mark more easily," said Pharynx.
Then I heard a sound like a knife going into an apple, and Thorax made a soft noise in the back of his throat. Twilight gasped.
"Th-there. Now I'll lie down, and you can rest on top of me," said Thorax. "The stinger will stay in by itself until I release it."
Fearing the worst, I nonetheless peeked. Thorax was lying flat on the ground, with Twilight resting atop him. Twilight's ovipositor had mostly disappeared beneath them. It didn't look nearly as inappropriate with them both lying flat, fortunately. Despite that, I was starting to feel very aroused. Between the kisses and the transformation, I'd barely managed to fight this feeling from welling up within me. The mounting had pushed me over the edge.
"It's good to be aroused," whispered Xeros, as though reading my mind. "It's the best way to share love, you know."
"Please, eat my love," I begged her. "I don't want to feel this way."
"Shush," said Xeros, sternly. "Stop fighting how you feel and enjoy the love around you."
I watched as Twilight's jaw dropped. "What the... I'm remembering my childhood," she said. "It's like... it's like the memories are being transcribed and stored, then deleted, almost?"
"Your brain is becoming a changeling's brain, which is more malleable than a pony's. The first time you transfer data, it needs to be an outgoing flow like this so your new brain will be forced to process and store your old memories. This prepares you to receive the immense volume of memories owned by the hivemind," said Thorax.
"Oh no—it's like they're not even my memories," said Twilight, her face distraught as she stared off into infinity. "It's like... it's like I'm reading from a book rather than remembering things. I'm losing all of it, my childhood, my brother..."
"Changelings have no secrets," said Pharynx. "Soon Thorax will know everything that has ever happened to you, and it will be as real to him as it was to you."
"It's so incredible," moaned Thorax. "So many happy memories... I remember when we hatched Spike and became Celestia's personal student. That was the happiest day of our life..."
"It's m-my life," countered Twilight.
"It's our life now, Twilight," said Thorax. "It belongs to both of us. I'm becoming you, from birth until this very moment—and once I catch up, I'll feel what you're feeling in real-time. Soon, all of my drones will be you as well. We'll be able to replicate you perfectly, because we'll be you."
I was horrified. I wanted to say something, but what could I do? I struggled again beneath Xeros. It wasn't even a conscious effort this time. My body demanded I flee and my muscles responded, albeit in vain.
"Relax, Starlight," said Xeros. I could see her face above mine in the corner of my vision, pouting. "I promise she'll be happy once she's been processed into a new drone. You will be, too."
"So much knowledge!" said Thorax, gasping. "I... There are so many things changelings have never understood, right at my hooftips... This is the most valuable mind we've ever taken into our collective! Oh, thank you, Twilight."
"This can't be happening," I said, closing my eyes again. I felt my body being pulled upward, so I reopened my eyes to find myself seated, facing Xeros muzzle to muzzle. She held me in her legs and smiled at me.
"Open your mouth for me, Starlight Glimmer. No misbehaving, either, or I'll bite you and we'll start your conversion early," she promised. I stared into her alien, featureless eyes. I wasn't a changeling yet, but I could still sense the love coming from her. She wanted what was best for me, and she was certain this was it. I didn't know what to do. I began to hyperventilate, and before I knew it her thin changeling tongue was wrapped around mine, caressing it within my muzzle.
Oddly enough, the intrusion had a calming effect. This wasn't my fault, was it? There was nothing I could do, so I couldn't blame myself for being aroused by this... not even for being aroused by what was happening to Twilight. And I was aroused by what was happening to Twilight, as horrible as that was. I didn't understand why, but watching them change her brain as well as her body was doing something to me, deep inside my heart.
"It's... it's all gone," said Twilight, her voice hollow. "It feels so empty. It's all just data now, completely impersonal. I can remember why I feel the way I do about things, but my beliefs and dreams seem so random..."
Pharynx straddled Twilight's hind legs, then crouched down. "This will help. Stand up slightly without pulling your stinger out of your Queen," he commanded. "It's time for your depersonalization."
As the kiss continued, I could see over my captor's shoulder. Twilight obeyed without hesitation, her stinger trapped beneath Thorax's prone form. "I don't want it to feel like this anymore..." she mumbled. "I'm not just a collection of memories. Or... am I? Is that all Twilight Sparkle is?"
"This is just the beginning, Twilight. In a moment you'll realize precisely how random your beliefs and personality truly are," said Thorax. "Flooding your newly formatted brain with the memories of thousands of drones and dozens of ponies will help you to understand how foalish it is to be the pony you were just because of the life you've lived through."
"Relax, drone," said Pharynx, pushing her tail and trapped ovipositor slightly to the side as his own stinger emerged. He leaned in to mount her. "This will feel a little uncomfortable, but only for a moment."
This time I didn't close my eyes. I saw the stinger between Pharynx's legs deftly thrust up under Twilight and into her midsection. The soft, fleshy stabbing sound rang out again, and Twilight grunted and winced. Then Pharynx lay atop her and sandwiched her between Thorax and himself.
"I know you're scared, Twilight, but you can trust me," said Thorax. "You have nothing to fear. We're about to fill you to the core with all the data the changelings have ever encountered. You'll know everything, and you'll be all of us. Then we can assign you with the personality you were meant to have, rather than the one you happened to accumulate solely based on chance."
Xeros broke the kiss, and I took the opportunity to speak. "Oh no. Don't change Twilight's personality! You're killing her!" I said, and I started to cry.
"Don't be dramatic," said Pharynx. "We're not killing her, we're only changing her. Change is nothing to fear. It's a part of life."
"You're not the same pony you were a year ago, are you?" Xeros asked me, kissing away my tears. "I'll bet back then you wouldn't have wanted to become who you are now, but that doesn't mean it's wrong for you to be who you are."
"That's... different," I said, but it felt like a weak defense.
The most disturbing part of all of this was that Twilight wasn't fighting back. Was I watching myself in a mirror, I wondered? Would I crumple and change just as easily as she did? Would I still be Starlight Glimmer? Would I even continue to exist?
"Beginning depersonalization process now," said Pharynx, with a smile. Twilight's neck began to spasm and her eyes rolled back in her head.
"So... m-much..." moaned Twilight.
Taking a cue from this, the other changelings around us began their own data transfers. It was simply too much for my senses—I had to shut my eyes, yet again. I tried to kick, but Xeros held me tightly in her legs.
"It's almost over," she whispered. "Soon you won't be afraid. You'll be one of us, just like your friend."
"I used to think Thorax was my friend," I said, my eyes clenched tight. "This is insane."
"Upload finished," said Pharynx. I heard what sounded like his stinger disengaging.
"It's entirely random," said Twilight, her voice a soft monotone. "Memories of all these lives. There's no reason I should be Twilight Sparkle. She's just one of thousands of lives inside my brain."
I opened my eyes again, because I needed to see what was happening to Twilight. Thorax stood up and Twilight remained mounted on him. Out of the corner of my eye I could see changelings mounted in circular conga-lines of roughly a dozen each, and I winced. The image was so disturbing it was no longer arousing to me, fortunately. The process they were using made sense, though. To distract myself, I'd been idly thinking about how data transfers would be most efficient. The fastest way to update everybuggy would be to create multiple small transfer circles, then make one large circle consisting of one member of each of the smaller circles, then have those single members each return to their original circle to propagate the data.
"Twilight, how do you feel about becoming a changeling now?" asked Thorax, smiling.
Twilight's eyes were still pony, but they were half-lidded and her changeling muzzle showed no emotion. "Twilight Sparkle's beliefs and personality have no place in this unit... it is entirely random. Please format me, Thorax. Please," she begged.
"Thorax is a Queen, so he has the authority to finish the mental formatting procedure," explained Pharynx.
"Please, don't do this—you're killing Twilight!" I shouted, struggling where Xeros held me in her lap.
"Twilight Sparkle is right here, inside both of us," said Thorax. "We're not deleting her personality, we're deleting Twilight's primitive connection to it. Being a changeling means you can choose a personality rather than being stuck with one." He craned his neck around and kissed Twilight's chin. "It's time, drone. Are you ready?"
"Yes. Please, please," begged Twilight, her voice oddly low and void of passion, despite the severity of her words. "Finish me now."
"Twilight Sparkle, commence with personality separation and low-level format," said Thorax.
Twilight spasmed in place atop Thorax, then hung limply upon his back. "Per-son-al-it-y de-le-tion com-plete. A-wai-ting ac-ti-va-tion." Her eyes faded into a solid light violet color.
"No..." I said weakly. It felt like I'd just watched the death of my dear friend.
"Activate, unit Nexus," said Thorax.
Instantly, Twilight giggled and smiled. She pulled her stinger free of Thorax's abdomen and stood up on her own four hooves. "Wonderful! That was so much fun."
"Starlight Glimmer, I'd like you to meet our new drone, Nexus," said Thorax. "Nexus will become a Queen when she returns to Ponyville, because we'll need to begin our hive expansion."
"Pleased to be met," said Twilight—no. This drone wasn't Twilight Sparkle anymore. It was Nexus, I told myself, not Twilight. She continued, "I didn't say 'pleased to meet you' because I met you a long time ago! I'm the only new friend in our relationship." She seemed unusually bubbly for Twilight, and clearly not as high-strung.
"You've murdered Twilight Sparkle," I said, too stunned to cry. "I finally see you all for what you are. You're a pack of mindless fiends."
"No, Starlight! It isn't like that at all," said Nexus, pouting. Then her body swirled with a magic flash, and Twilight Sparkle was standing there. "Don't worry, I'm still right here Starlight. There's no need to be illogical about this."
Then Thorax transformed into Twilight as well. "To be technically accurate, I'm over here too," said Thorax. "Soon I'll be in every changeling."
"She's just a mask you're putting on!" I said. "Can't you see what you've done?"
Twilight (the one who used to be Twilight, not Thorax) walked over to me and tapped at Xeros, who stood up and released me.
I nearly panicked now that I was free. I jumped to my hooves, then realized I had nowhere to go. I had no clear exit other than racing to the edge of the plateau and jumping to my death. I actually considered doing that, but decided giving up wasn't the best option when all of Equestria was at stake. Maybe there was still a way to fix this, I thought.
"It's okay, Starlight. I'm still the same pony I was, I just have a different preset personality," she said. "You're going to love becoming a changeling, I promise. Won't you give us a chance?"
I scowled bitterly. "You're not Twilight Sparkle."
"That's preposterous. I'm Twilight every bit as much as I was fifteen minutes ago. I'm just more than that, now," said Nexus-Twilight.
"And I'm in more than one body," said Thorax-Twilight. "That's the only true difference."
"That is not what it means to be a person!" I said, my forehooves shaking against the rocky flooring with anger.
"It is to us," said Nexus-Twilight. "You'll understand soon, and you'll love it as much as I do."
My mind worked furiously to come up with an out. If only I could get far enough away from the throne, but the crater was so wide...
A flash of insight hit me and I went galloping for the cliffside of the hive.
"Don't let her hurt herself!" said Pharynx. I dodged several attempted catches, then aimed at my target: a cyan changeling standing near the edge of the plateau.
"What?" said the changeling as I launched myself through the air toward her, bowled into her and sent us both tumbling off the cliffside toward the ground far below.
Quickly I encircled my hooves around her neck, swiveled my body onto her back, and pulled my forehoof up underneath her neckplate, pressing hard at the sensitive flesh beneath it. "Fly!" I shouted.
"Let go!" she said, but righted herself and began flying to avoid hitting the ground.
"Don't let her reach the edge of the crater!" shouted Nexus's voice.
"I won't take you where you want to go," said my ride, coughing and flying in tight circles.
I paused for a moment in thought, then was struck by an idea. "Then fly up as far and as fast as you can," I ordered, pressing down hard enough to cause her to make choking sounds.
Up we sped, followed by several changelings now in hot pursuit. The three leading the pack were Pharynx, Thorax, and Nexus. Neither of them were disguised as Twilight anymore.
"We can talk about this, Starlight!" shouted Nexus, as they flanked me but allowed my ride to climb higher. "There isn't any escape. You already know this."
I grinned. They were missing something obvious.
"Higher!" I growled in my changeling's ear. She sped up and flew even higher. The wind whistled through my mane. It was getting cold up here.
"Wait, stop her!" shouted Nexus. "She's going to hit the barrier above the hive!"
My changeling slowed down and I knew I was doomed, so I did the only thing I could do. I climbed up on her head, and before she could react or drop altitude, I jumped upward with all my might.
I felt the magic return to the tip of my horn, and a fraction of a second later I cast a teleport spell, hoping the anti-magic field wouldn't tear me in half.
Wham. I was on the other side of the crater. Nexus teleported next to me, and I teleported away again, this time to a place she couldn't see, an underground cavern. Then I quickly completed a series of teleports that landed me right at the edge of Ponyville. My last teleport had taken me to the one place I knew I would be safe, given that Nexus was undoubtedly headed for the Castle of Friendship.
I was standing outside Trixie's wagon.
I knocked once on the door, then collapsed on her steps. Trixie opened the door and looked down at me.
"Starlight, you look terrible," she said.
"We're in danger. Let me in," I said, gasping for breath.
Moments later I was lying in Trixie's bed. I had spent a lot of time here over the past month, but this time it wasn't for pleasure. I panted and shivered as though I had a fever, and my hooves shook.
"What happened?" said Trixie, her voice filled with unusual concern. I realized then that I really did look terrible.
"Thorax is going to turn everypony into changelings against their will," I said, finally catching my breath. "They've already converted Twilight Sparkle. I don't know how we can stop them."
A look of horror crossed Trixie's face. "Oh Tartarus. Glim, what did you do?"
"It wasn't me!" I insisted. "He had this idea all along, he thinks... there's no reasoning with him. We need to tell Celestia and Luna immediately, and Twilight's friends."
Trixie walked over to her desk and pulled out several scrolls. "I'll send notes to the princesses now, then go find Twilight's friends."
"She's probably already headed to compromise them. Is there anyone else in town we can rely on first?"
"Hmm. Your friend Maud?" asked Trixie.
"Yes! Perfect. Tell... tell Maud," I said, yawning. "I'm so tired..."
"Shh," said Trixie, walking over to pet my head as she placed my body under the covers. "Rest now. I'll be careful."
Sleep took me immediately.
I awoke to the sound of knocking on Trixie's trailer door.
Stirring, I wiped my bleary eyes and saw Maud entering the trailer. "Is she okay?" asked Maud.
Trixie nodded. "Just exhausted, I think. Thank goodness you were able to get here so quickly. Did you read the entire message?"
"I did." Maud walked over to me. "We need to act quickly," she said.
"Absolutely," I said, sitting up in bed. I felt a strange weight on my horn, and lifted my hooves up toward it.
"Don't worry about that," said Maud, taking my hooves in hers.
Then, Maud smiled.
My eyes widened. I tried to access my magic, but it was blocked. There was undoubtedly an anti-magic device affixed to my horn.
"Trixie, run!" I shouted. As I saw Trixie casually walk up beside Maud, my heart sank in my chest.
"It's going to be okay, Glim," said Trixie. "It really is."
"You bastards killed Trixie," I said, starting to cry. "It'll never be okay!"
Maud released my hooves, and transformed into Twilight Sparkle. I didn't even try to remove the magic blocker. I just held my hooves over my face and cried.
"Glimmy, I'm still here," said Trixie.
"The pony I spent the past three weeks falling in love with is dead," I sobbed, choking on the words.
"Starlight, listen to me," said Trixie. I wiped my eyes and sniffed, looking upwards. "They got me two weeks ago."
"That... that's impossible," I said, shaking my head in disbelief. "We shared things with each other! We were intimate!"
Then in another flash of light, Twilight turned into Trixie as well. "That's because I'm still as Great and Powerful as ever, silly. I'm just inside more than one person now," she said. "There's nothing scary about it, Glim. You'll understand soon."
"Without you, I have nothing left to live for," I said, the tears already having left me. "Just do what you have to do."
The other Trixie turned back into Twilight Sparkle, and both mares climbed into bed with me. "You'll never be away from her, soon," said Twilight, cuddling up to me from behind. "She'll be a part of you in every way. I'm a Queen now, so we can complete the process right here. I have the authority to order your personality activation."
Trixie spooned in front of me. "I love you as much as ever, Starlight Glimmer," she said, as her body shimmered and changed to reveal a teal-colored changeling drone. "Please don't fight us."
"I... I love you too, if you're in there somewhere," I whispered to Trixie. "Dear Celestia, how I need to believe you're in there."
"She is, and she'll be within you as well," said Trixie's changeling. "My name is Flexia, by the way, but you can call me Trixie if you want! I get to be her most of the time, which I love because it means I get to be with you."
I closed my eyes. "Right. I bet my love for her was delicious," I said distastefully.
"No, nothing like that! Although it is delicious. I just love to be able to generate that love from you," she said. "Trixie is in love with you, Starlight. That hasn't changed."
"We really aren't that different from you," said Nexus, shedding Twilight's form. "This is something wonderful you're about to experience, a moment that your entire life has been leading up to. It's your destiny."
"I won't fight against Trixie," I said. "Just... please, please don't be lying."
"We promise," said Flexia.
Then I felt Nexus's fangs sink into my shoulder.
"Ouch—I thought there'd be a warning," I said, and then to my surprise, I barked out a laugh. "Heh. I have no idea why I'm laughing right now. I think I've just completely lost my mind."
"Not yet! That comes later," said Nexus.
"That was a joke," Flexia quickly pointed out.
"Yeah, I got it," I said, then gasped as I felt the change begin to take me. Having learned from Twilight's ordeal, I decided to relax and allowed the process to work its magic. Almost immediately, it began to feel pleasurable. It wasn't euphoric—it was even a little painful, to be completely honest—but it was like the slightest imaginable pain from prying off a well-worn scab when the skin had completely healed beneath it. A warm, satisfying, distant sort of pain. Like stretching a tired muscle, except it's happening everywhere at once.
I felt a separate warmth welling up from within, holding me, comforting me; like a mother holding her child, but in reverse. I allowed it to swim through my gut, where things were painlessly twisting and reforming, like a massage from the innards out. My flesh began to swell, and I felt my limbs weaken as my bones dissolved, migrating to the surface to form hard plates. Looking at my forelegs I could see my color was a brilliant lilac, undeniably pretty despite its alien appearance.
Then came my wings. I'd always wondered what it might be like to be an alicorn, and this was as close as I would ever come. Delicate wings sprouted from my back between two plates, and chitin formed around them. I couldn't see what color the shields were, but it didn't really matter. I felt Nexus behind me pulling all the hair out of my tail and mane, and my tail began to transform in a similar way. I could feel a new organ developing beneath it.
I witnessed my muzzle shifting in front of me, becoming a little more masculine, and the oddity of it gave me a secret thrill. Fangs were poking free from my mouth, and something very hard was pressing upward, poking through and up out of my skull on either side of my horn. I was aroused; being a changeling did nothing to change that. It was somehow comforting to know I could still feel that sort of romantic attraction, and the feeling was strengthened being sandwiched between the shells of two ponies I'd loved so deeply in different ways, as well as the warm throbbing sensation of blood flowing through my strange new body.
Then the love hit me like a blinding light, and the world was a different place.
I was surrounded by it. It tasted like honeysuckle and strawberry and Autumn and the color chartreuse and epiphany and time. I couldn't help but let it inside me, and I felt full—psychologically full—in a way that can't be adequately described in this data file. The last vestiges of resistance fled my new body. I'd not been aware I still had any fight left in me, but there was a lingering piece of me holding back until that moment. I loved in return, and I felt the love swell within me and flow into my new siblings, merging with them in a manner more intimate than anything mundane like simple sexual intercourse could hope to achieve... and we hadn't even joined with each other physically yet.
"See?" said Flexia.
"I'm overwhelmed, but I'm still scared," I said, because I was.
Nexus massaged her hooves against the iridescent bands of my midsection. "I'll just take this off now," she said, reaching up with a hoof to pull off my magic blocker, tossing it on the floor. I wasn't about to leave, and she knew it.
"Is it like dying?" I asked Flexia, whispering into her tube-like ear appendage.
She shook her head. "It's like being reborn... sort of. It's indescribable, even with lifetimes worth of memories to assist in the telling."
I felt Nexus pulling at the base of what used to be my spine: a fleshy protrusion directly beneath my tail. I shuddered as my stinger came out into the open. This sensation was a more familiar kind of euphoria.
I gripped Flexia tightly about her shoulders as I stabbed with the stinger. The first stab glanced off of her chitin, but the second one found purchase between the bands. I instantly knew I'd hit the spot.
"How long—" I began to ask, but then the data transfer initiated on its own. I could sense my brain rewiring itself as my thoughts became jumbled and I started to recall my early childhood. "Oh, oh no... you're going to know everything I've done in my life, all the terrible mistakes I've made..."
"Shh," whispered Nexus. "It's okay. We both know how embarrassing pony lives can be."
"All is forgiven, Starlight. You're purging these memories from who you are as a pony," said Flexia. "They're no longer who you are."
That shifted my perspective. I was dying, but I deserved to. It was the bad parts of me that were dying: the unbridled emotion, the hubris, the desperation. I was becoming simple data.
So I let it happen. Memory after memory was transcribed and compressed and stored into little sequential containers in my mind. It didn't matter that Trixie was going to know everything. I wanted to share it with her, to finally be without secrets. My whole life had been predicated upon hiding who I truly was inside, and now... now that hope was being deleted from me, right along with the need.
"Yes," I said. "Th-this is good. I deserve this."
"I knew you'd love it," said Nexus.
"Your life makes me want to cry, Starlight. You've been through so much. You have a lot in common with Trixie," said Flexia. "This is a healing process. We're repairing you by eliminating the terrible scar called Starlight Glimmer. Being her isn't going to hurt you ever again. You'll see her life as any other."
"I love you so much Trixie," I said, on the verge of tears. "I know you're not her, but..."
"We're both her, and we love you too," said Nexus. "Let go."
And so I did, feeling my thoughts compartmentalized and stored, bit by bit... until my brain felt empty inside. Now I was a blank slate, ready for much more than this one arbitrary life had given me.
"It's so empty. I don't understand who I am," I said, my voice soft. "Why am I Starlight Glimmer? There's no logical point to it, is there?"
"None at all. Now try to make a small gap between your body and Flexia's, Imago," said Nexus. "I need to sting you so we can begin your depersonalization."
"Imago? That's... that's who I'm becoming, isn't it?" I asked. The word imago means the final form of an insect—or in pony psychology, the idealized view of the self. "Very clever."
"I knew you'd like that!" said Flexia, with a giggle. "Imago is a touch on the sardonic side, but with a good sense of humor and a warm, open personality toward new friends. You'll love being them."
I had so many questions, but I was distracted by the visceral sound of being stabbed in my gut coupled with a momentary sting.
"Oh... oh Celestia it's coming," I said, trembling as Flexia pressed her back against me again, sandwiching Nexus's ovipositor between us.
"Beginning memory upload," said Nexus, and then the entire world literally rushed into my head.
I was dimly aware that I was spasming in place as the flood came. Countless facts and experiences blew through me so quickly I had no time to examine them other than feeling the cursory details. They simply filtered into place in a well-kept library that was becoming my mind. So much of it was emotional in nature. The changeling experiences were relatively boring before Chrysalis was overthrown, but the pony lives were rich and full.
I quickly learned how differently Starlight Glimmer saw the world compared to other ponies, how things I'd thought were unique to her were common, and other things I thought of as common were actually unique. Only a hoofful of ponies had been converted prior to the new plan, as Chrysalis considered it dangerous to absorb pony memories lest it lead to revolt. I was a part of something grand, a change that would take all of Equestria into a new age. I knew everything about it. And there was a plan for me within it, as well. This Imago person had been hoof-picked for me, chosen to play an instrumental part of the operation. Chosen to get along well with Flexia as we played the role of mates, still disguised as ponies.
Then it ended. I was virtually sitting in the largest library in Equestria. Everything I could ever want was right at my hooftips. I examined how Twilight Sparkle felt when this happened to her, and the experience was remarkably similar. Excited, but hollow. I mentally rummaged through the overwhelming swamp of data, trying to make sense of it. The fact that I was Starlight Glimmer was entirely arbitrary. I had thousands of lives within me, and she was just one of them. A remarkable and fascinating life, but just one of many.
"Please finish me," I murmured. "Delete Starlight Glimmer. I shouldn't be her. I shouldn't be anypony."
"I don't know about that, Imago. You don't sound completely certain," teased Nexus.
"Please. Please, delete Starlight Glimmer!"
Of course, I knew she was teasing me. I knew because I knew everything she knew. I knew it right as she said it, as her current experiences blasted their way into my brain: I could feel myself being her at the same time as I was being me. Most changelings were teases. It was fun to tease. And I liked it, too, despite the torture, because I was one with them already.
Yet, deep down, there remained the tiniest, lingering doubt. If being Starlight was arbitrary, what about being Imago? Certainly it was no more random, being that the personality was selected for me by the hive, but would the experience of being her be rewarding?
Even though I owned thousands of memories telling me not to worry about it, I wondered. Memories aren't the same as experience, just as past and present are distinct and separable; and these new memories felt even less like experience. I didn't question I wanted this, mind you. I'd do anything for it. But was it just a simple change facing me? Was I dying and being reborn? Or was I simply dying for the sake of a new, mindless drone? Maybe changelings didn't have a soul at all. Maybe this was some sort of fancy puppetry without conscious experience. But everything suggested otherwise—any belief that changelings were less "real" was nothing more than hubris based upon a lingering psychological need to believe my experiences were more unique than I'd just discovered.
What is change, anyway? It was a curious thought. I reviewed Starlight's past, reading her file in my mind—the same file you're reading right now—and I felt critically aware of the reality of the present. The only truly real thing is the "now", the moment we live in, especially when your memories are nothing but unvarnished data. I'm here with you, running at the same pace as you and everypony else, experiencing rather than reflecting, because it's all I have left to be.
Despite all of this doubt, there is no fear within my alien breast. Change is what I am. In a way, don't we die every time we change as a pony? If "now" is all that is real, aren't we a different person from the one we were in just the previous instant? I think I understand now. This is why ponies are so afraid of change. We cling to tradition so hard because we're afraid of losing a piece of this illusion called "me". Maybe instead of being afraid of change and death, we shouldn't fear either one.
Why be afraid of something you object to, if you know you won't object once it happens? I will be fine with this, so I am fine with this. I've moved from the past to the present, and it's time to give into the future. Let forever be.
Then Nexus speaks.
"Starlight Glimmer, commence with personality separation and low-level format."
