Horrible Swapping

by GameMakingOtaku

Rating: teen
Tags: Spike, Comedy, Princess Celestia, Human, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Other, Original Character
Length: 2251

Mass of ponies switch placeses with a mass of people... will chaos ensue.

Three stories are told so that the events of the day can be known. A day, were lots of ponies and people trade places. The longer the day goes on, the more it seems to go wrong for them.

The stories are being told by Twilight, a human, and an old flower farming stallion.

Published 2012-08-04 08:34:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-04 08:34:01 UTC

How Our Days Began

NOTE: I've been told that some readers might have a hard time understanding which point of view is which, not seeing that I have brakes to point it out. So here is the PoV Brake Key:

Old flower farming stallion's
=/) (=
(= =/)
Mark's
(:-|) (|-:)
(|-:) (:-|)
And Twilight's
<(. ,) (, .)>
(, .)> <(. ,)

=/) (=

I had better days, I’d have to say. It started off like normal, sure, but, well, the ending wasn’t the same. I used to hate Tuesdays; I work more then you see, and well, now I’ll be skeptical of Fridays too. As part of my daily routine, I’d go get some food for the kitchen and finish off any delayed work. Afterwards, I normally have time to sit in the park and talk with my friends about whatever is happening.

I had finished all that, including hanging out with my friends. I could see Sugarcube Corner from the hill on my way home. So close to town, and in an instant so very far. Living as long as I have, not much can leave you breathless, really. I was almost back to the farm with my granddaughter, and then I was someplace else.

Not just me though, others near me on their daily business too. I remember seeing those things... Humans? What ever. So odd, and yet, similar to us. They talk like us, eat kinda like us, and commute like us.

Going off the unnerving stares, the questions, and the murmurs, and... Okay I’m a little off track now. Um, right, they all seemed kinda like us ponyfolk.

“What happened?” I heard many ask. “What kinda ponies are those?” is what those youngsters said. “Mommy, are we being invaded by aliens?” I heard some foal ask.

We all, that is the other ponies and me, backed ourselves into a circle, and keep our mouths shut. Well, until some young mare walked up to them that is.

“Um, hello?” she began worriedly, “um, what’s going on?”

(= =/)
(:-|) (|-:)

It was a bit of a predictable day, not including that horse shit of an ending. I really needed some good Magic the Gathering cards. I opened the pack and... “Shit.” My friends all got something good, but no, I get the worthless pack. We sat in a shaded, windproof part of the park to play a few rounds when I realized something: it’s not a matter of the cards you get, but how your day goes.

I realized this, quite simply due to the fact, all of our days were going to be as bad as the cards I just got.

Everyone in the park, which included me and all my lucky friends, found themselves in a totally new place.

“Ah, Mark?” James, a friend of mine asks, “I don’t think we’re-”

“Shut the fuck up man. I have eyes. Sadly.” I interrupted the moron.

Fred, another friend, looked around and was the first of us to understand that everyone from the park is in wherever we were. It doesn’t get you out of the bizarre places, but knowing that all those near you are in the same bad puke bucket of paint world is a little soothing.

“Look mommy, a pretty unicorn!” shouted out a little girl while looking over the hill.

Everyone but me rushed over to look. Kids and their imaginations is what I thought as I slowly walked to see. You know what, I don’t think my brain works under stress. A mass of people are sent to another other place that is harsh on the colors, and I don’t think there could be unicorns?

Sure enough, there was a pink and white unicorn, next to a yellow pegasus.

Fuck my life.

(|-:) (:-|)
<(. ,) (, .)>

I was panicking, again. I ran around the room, trying to get things ready, organized, cleaned everything, washed up, check my lists again to see that I had in fact done all those things... and trying to make sure that I wasn’t overlooking some things.

“Spike! Do we have those scrolls ready?!” I asked, more calmly compared to the last few times. He popped up next to me in a flash. How does... never mind.

He answers after waiting for me to fully process his presents. “Yes. For the...” he had to think back on the number and used his claws to count. “Eighth time, yes. All the scrolls are ready for you to go, packed and checked for any accidental placements of used scrolls. Calm down already.”

I didn’t like his attitude. I glared at him, and got close to his face. “No! It isn’t enough! Another eight more times!” I could see a few strands of my mane were out of place. Looking back in the mirror, I combed the few lingering purple strands in place.

He sighed heavily. “Twilight, think, why would the Princess write to you to say, ‘Bye bye now’? She’s probably just going to tutor yo-”

“Why would that be it?!” I cut him off.

“Or,” he began, a little more agitated than he should have, “have a one on one session.”

“Does she think I’m incapable of teaching myself new spells?! Oh no!” Ah, yeah, I was nervous.

He slammed his claw against his forehead, dragging it down over his eyes. “Or, it may be something to do with another mission for you.”

“What? How would it be-” I was going to ask, ‘How would it be that? It’s sounds nothing like what was being said’ but I must be predictable or something.

He began a little smugly, “it doesn’t say much at all.” He cleared his throat and read the scroll. “‘I need to see you as soon as possible. I see I have been neglecting my duties as your instructor, and need to continue them.’”

I did calm down, but that made me a little mad. Why was it him that had seen this?

(, .)> <(. ,)
(:-|) (|-:)

Now it may come as a shock to some of you, but neither a unicorn nor a pegasus are real. Seeing monstrosities of mythical creatures is a little hard to fully comprehend. I could almost see the last of my marbles roll away.

Again, fuck my life!

We sat on the hill looking down at the beasts, seemingly communicating with each other. I thought that I was going to shit myself. We are doomed if these things can talk to each other and stab and carry us all. Them being able to tactically kill us, that’s the one thing that we would of had over them, gone.

After seeing the two monsters leave, I spoke up about my justifiable fears. “Fucking Doooomed! All of us are going to die! Horribly!”

A parent, obvious seeing as her daughter was the one who alerted us to our fate, stomps up to me. “What is wrong with you?! Watch your language around children!”

“Oh, did I not speak English before? Here let me try that again; Fucking Doooomed! All of us are going to die! Horribly!” I rationally replied.

I heard Fred speak up, “Excuse my friend. He’s always like this, or well, kinda.”

How can he be on her side? I only said the truth! Maybe it’s because she was some MILF. Well, I wasn’t going to stand around and wait for those asses to strike! “Okay,” I started my short speech, “we can go and see what the monsters can do, or wait here to die like fucking dumbasses. Who’s with me?!” I had pumped my fist in the air for dramatic effect, hoping others would do the same. I wish I hadn’t done that.

(|-:) (:-|)
=/) (=

I waited eagerly to hear the responses of the humans. Or maybe it felt like a long time. Either way, there were gasps and more chatting amongst themselves. I think I heard some say something like ‘they can walk’, but that’s just silly.

The brave mare began to walk back to us, keeping her eyes on the, ah, you say they were called Humans? Well anyway, the crowd around us had only three that wished to step forward.

A red maned one started with, “Ah, hello? Do you know what’s going on? I sure don’t.”

A yellow maned - ah, humare? - stepped up to add, “we just watched an entire park be replaced with odd colored horses, I think it may have something to do with multi universes colliding.” I think he sounded a little, well, sarcastic.

The mare from before looked a little more at ease, but still scared. We all were. The third humare spoke up, “I’ve never seen anything like that, or this even. Will you try and help, instead of being an ass all the time.” She seemed to be upset with the yellow maned one.

“Ah, um, I don’t know what’s going on either,” stated the mare.

“Um, I was just going home, and found myself here,” I tried to help.

(= =/)
<(. ,) (, .)>

Okay, well, I had calmed down some, and got my bags ready to go. I grabbed them and left. Well, I was going out the door, and then it hit me; you know, Spike being right, and I really relaxed after that, only to feel dumb for not seeing the point sooner, and him being faster witted than me.

So I was on the carriage that Princess Celestia sent. My mind began brainstorming ideas of what was happening. Is she going to teach me a spell not found in books? Is she going to say that the castle is under attack, and she needs me to learn a spell so the two of us can win against the threat?

I had been happy at that point, yes, but still a little bit of dread lingered.

We made it to the palace in one piece, so, not likely it was under attack.

The castle never looked so big to me.

(, .)> <(. ,)
(:-|) (|-:)

No one else was with me? That still shocks me. Yeah, I’m normally on the one percent of things, but this time, I don’t understand. I huffed and walked away. Damn that hill was big! Seeing a town up ahead, I ventured my unimpeachable self down there.

As I left, I heard that MILF say something; I didn’t care what she had to say, so I didn’t listen.

I got to the base of the hill and ducked behind a bush. More monsters showed up, more normal looking, but still too odd to be horses. When I saw the three ‘Flower Flanks’ leave, I moved out as stealthy as I could. I’m a big guy, so that wasn’t as ninja like as I had hoped. Got me to town though.

I was close to a house, I think, when this crazed horse harassed me. Dumb little bitch!

(|-:) (:-|)
=/) (=

I could see that some of the moonhoos were sceptical, but I had hope that it would all be solved.

The red maned one steps a little closer and asks, “so to be clear, ‘not an invasion?’”

The yellow maned - Human? No - moonhoos, gave this funny look to the red maned one, and said, “what do you think-” what did he say? Hiym-, Iym-, ah yes, “Stine Stine?” This made the others look at him angrily.

The black maned one looked at us after a few seconds of glaring at the yellow maned one. “What are your names? If we are going to make progress, we need to know each other's names.” She gestures to herself, “I’m Raya.” She points to the the red maned one, “he’s Matt.” Then she points at the yellow maned one, giving him a dirty look. “He’s John.”

She looks at us happily, as it to say, ‘What’s your names?’ The mare answered first, “Dizzy Dash. I know I’m a pegasus, but don’t ask me to fly.” She seemed a little embarrassed, or something.

I looked around for a few seconds. I don’t know why, I just felt I should. After that, I said, “Withered Dirt.”

(= =/)
<(. ,) (, .)>

It felt like it took longer than normal to reach the princess’s room. The guards flanking me, and the long trot, it messed with my head. All of the possibilities I thought of before flooded back to me. The good and the bad.

She’s going to cut herself off from me so I can learn better. She wants me to learn things more so on my own. She has a mission for me and I need to learn some big special spell. I’m going to be elevated to another, better teacher because she thinks she’s not good enough. She’s making me try something other than magic. She’s-

Sorry, I got a little off topic. Not knowing if it was good or bad news the princess had for me, my heart raced, and I began to sweat. A lot.

“Miss Sparkle, don’t look so nervous,” the guard to my right advised.

I didn’t look good, he’s right. I didn’t even have a mirror to see myself, and I know that. After many deep breaths, we made it go the large intimidating doors of what I was imagining to be my fate.

The guard to my right saw my hesitation. “You can go in now.”

(, .)> <(. ,)