It was a night like any other. My homework was finished, my blogs were posted, and honestly, it was a good time of day to get some reading done. A few minutes into a nice book, however, I heard my phone’s buzzer go off. Who could it be this late into the night? I thought, reaching for my device.
“Hey.”
“Hey, DT.” I texted back, smiling contently.
A few seconds went by, accompanied only by the sight of a message being typed on the other side. “Listen…” Came the next message, “I know it’s pretty late, but I really need to talk to you.”
Frowning as I read the message, I tapped back in response, asking if everything was alright. Moments later, my phone buzzed yet again.
“It’s complicated. If it’s possible, could you meet me at the park in a few minutes?”
“I’m not sure.” I replied, unsure of what to do. “Why can’t we talk over the phone instead? Or maybe just come over?”
I sent the message and waited, idly toying with a flap of the book sitting beside me as I glanced towards the desk clock nearby. After about three minutes had passed, the phone went off once more. “No, I can’t.” She replied, “It’d be better if we talked outside.”
“...Alright.” I texted back, raising a brow. “I’ll try to sneak out. If I can’t, I’ll let you know.”
“Thanks. I’ll be there shortly.”
I glanced towards the ceiling with a heavy sigh. What was it that could’ve happened to DT? It wasn’t like her to text me at a time like this… and especially not with something so mysterious, either. I shot a quick look towards the door to see if it was shut firmly, then heaved my window open.
I eyed the branches of the tree that stood not too far from the window, aiming myself as I mentally prepared to leap.
For a brief moment, I was airborne, midway between the prickly branches of the tree and my window. I climbed down the tree’s trunk, paying mind to avoid the branches along the way as I descended. With both feet now firmly on the ground, I glanced through the first-floor window into the living room. My father was reading a book, seemingly unaware of what had just happened. Honestly, I’d doubt that he would mind all that much if I left for a moment or two.
I wonder what’s going on… I thought to myself, trudging down the dimly-lit sidewalk. I hope nothing bad happened to her… She’s normally the confident type, after all. She even looked down on those who would make fun of her…
Ten minutes went by as I walked towards the park. It was then when I saw her. I tried to maintain a smile as I neared.
What’s going on with her? I hope nothing bad has happened… Unfortunately, my hopes were dashed away as she turned, sporting a black eye on her face. I froze at the sight, staring at the darkened patch. Diamond Tiara simply shook her head. “Um…” She began, nervously glancing about, “Hey there…”
I waved back with a half-smile, eyeing my friend’s injury. Could this be why she wanted me to come at such a late time? I stepped forward, a flurry of questions swirling in my mind as I struggled to maintain my composure.
“H-How… What…” I began, reaching a shaky arm to my friend’s face.
I couldn't find the words to express how shocked I was feeling, nor did I know how to react. As for DT, she looked… miserable, even with how hard she was seemingly trying to hide it.
“Sorry for… Um… Making you come out here so late. I just didn't know who else I could turn to... I realize it’s late and all, but-”
Before she could finish, I rushed over to her, placing my right hand near the wound, being extremely careful not to touch it. “H-How did… What happened…?” I asked. She didn’t respond and simply looked away from me. I felt my gaze sharpen as I asked, “Diamond Tiara…?”
DT winced, avoiding eye contact. “I… I got into another fight with my mother…”
I gasped. “Y-Your mother did this to you?!”
She opened her uninjured eye, and with hesitation, stared back at me. “Y-yeah. It escalated so quickly, too… We went from shouting to being at each other’s throats-- and she refused to back down. She screamed, I screamed, it was just a matter of who hurt each other more. The longer it went on, the worst it became. To be completely honest, I’m not sure how it even got this far. We were just… just so angry at each other.” She turned away, murmuring to herself. “So much hate… so much spite...”
She started off, but not before I could grab her hand, pulling her close. Seeing my friend in such pain, it was just… just unbearable to watch. I didn’t know what was going on in her home life, but I knew that it was despicable. After a brief moment of silence, I spoke. “How... how did it all start?”
She hesitated for nearly a minute, struggling to yank her arm free before finally giving up, and turning back towards me.
“It started out alright.” She began with a defeated huff, “We were in a car on our way back from school. She said she needed to stop by the store for a moment, and asked if I wanted to join her.”
DT let out a shudder as a cool night-time breeze brushed past. “...I was surprised to hear her say that, considering how she’d always been busy. I told her I didn’t mind, and she seemed surprised that I wanted to join her. It seemed like she was happy.” She continued, sniffling. “Once we finished shopping, I asked if she could drop me off at dad’s place.” Diamond Tiara sniffed again, wiping a tear off her cheek. “She had this-- this look on her face. It almost looked like she thought I didn’t want to be with her anymore.”
I nodded in understanding. It must’ve been so hard for her, to be hit like that over such a little thing...
“After we finished shopping, she dropped me off at dad’s workplace. The thing is, she left without even saying goodbye to me. Dad wasn’t too busy at the time, so we started talking.”
She gazed off into the distance, chuckling for a bit as her mood visibly lifted. “Nothing in particular, mind you. Just boring things like what the sales were like and some customer service horror stories. After work, we went to the park and had some hot dogs. He got a call from mom and answered it. I could only assume she was asking about when we were coming home from our time at the park. He told her that they’ll be home soon and she didn’t have to get me. He said something else but judging from his reaction, I assume she hung up instantly. He didn’t seem to be bothered by it as he was happy to be with me. I shared the same sentiment as we sat at the park, feeding the birds that would come by.”
She seemed to be pretty happy about it, so I didn’t question it. If anything, she looked pretty amicable about it. I was happy that at least one of her parents were happy. At least I hope she’s happy about it.
“So, did anything else happen?” I asked.
She nodded, and for a brief moment, I saw a smile flash across her face. “Yea…” She began slowly, “But the real reason I wanted to be alone with my dad was because I had a question…” She paused for a moment to make sure the area was clear, then turned back towards me. “I didn’t know how to directly say it, so I just went ahead and said, ‘Would it be okay if I asked you something… personal?’ He didn’t seemed to mind when I asked, and just said in return, ‘Sure. Ask away.’ ...and so I did…”
“What was the question?” I asked.
She continued to glance around to see if anybody was spying. Looking back at me, she continued. “I said to him that sometimes I hear them arguing about certain things. To my surprise, he wasn’t annoyed when I asked though. Not even a hint of anger… if anything, he was more dumbfounded than angry. He then said that I was just like my mother, getting straight to the point. I continued my question as I asked how do they could still love each other even with all the horrible things they say to each other. The answer he gave me was something I don’t think I’ll ever forget, not in a million years.” She paused, staring back at me with sorry eyes.
“The negativity that you feel in your heart is like a train going fast without brakes.” Diamond Tiara recalled, echoing her father’s words. “If you stay too focused on it, it can eat away at you.”
She gazed up towards the sky. “So, I tried to be positive about it. It didn’t need to be anything heroic… it just had to be the small moments. The little things in life. It could be going to a theme park, seeing a movie, eating something new, trying on different shoes…” DT turned back to me. “Heck, it even be just been just being with friends. When you think about the good, the pros start to outweigh the cons.”
“I... “ I trailed on, staring at her black eye. “Um… and what did you say?”
“I asked him if we were ever gonna be a family again, to which he lowered his head and pat my head. ‘I know it’s not something that would help much, but it’s not something I think I’ll ever be able to fully answer…’ He gave me a look of concern after he said that, and asked me if something was wrong, and… and--”
It was then when I connected two and two together, realizing what she was referring to. Her past. Back when she was a bully.
“--I know we don’t really talk about it, but you know how I was back when we were little? A time when I was a terrible person, someone who bullied others just because I could. I know I was stupid. I was a horrible person for all the things I did, I know my dad would never say it, but I knew he was disappointed in me as well. He noticed how down I was a couple days ago and told me it was okay and that we all have our problems and I was no exception. He also mentioned that he had done his fair share of shady things as well even to this day... he told me that he realized that I felt terrible for how I acted in the past, but I changed.”
Diamond Tiara sniffed a bit, continuing on with her father’s words. “He only asked that I continued being happy, even when all else seems to fail. After he said that, I made a small joke about how the hot dog had a cheap taste to it after he said that, and he laughed, making a joke about mom rubbing off me. There was one more thing he said to me before we went home.”
“What was it?”
“He said that I shouldn’t worry too much about him and not to be hard on mom.” She continued, “He also said that even though she may be mean and a little… forceful when it comes to her opinions, she’s only looking out for me.” DT scratched at the back of her head.
“Good.” I smiled, “But do you really believe that?”
She shook her head at my question. “No, but… well, he’s my dad, and he’s never lead me wrong before so…” A smile appeared on her face once more. “When we got home, he got a call and said he had to go out for a bit. I told him that I understood and went inside so that he could answer. As I got inside, I saw my mom doing some stuff in the kitchen. She must’ve heard me coming in, ‘cause she asked where my father was. I told her that he had something to do and he’d be back. She didn’t seem to care but noted what I said. It was then I realized this was the perfect time to talk to her. About dad… about me… about everything. I followed her into the kitchen and I asked if I could talk to her. She seemed to be in a good mood at the time for once, much to my surprise.”
I had no idea what would happen next, but she had this terrible look on her face. It was a bad sign.
“It made me a little nervous, but it made me kinda happy that she was willing to hear me out.” Diamond Tiara continued, rubbing her black eye and wincing as she felt the pain. “I asked her about dad, and if she could be a little nicer with him and spend some time together as a family. She didn’t really seem to take kindly to that, though. She just had this… look to her, like I had insulted her on a personal level or something. I tried to change the subject and said that I didn’t mean anything by it, and luckily, she apologized and instead, asking me what the reason was for my sudden shift in the conversation. I told her that I noticed how often she and dad argue about certain things, and how she always seemed to play the victim. I… I then mentioned that it would be better if they just talked it out and see if they could have a chance at being together again.”
She rubbed her black eye again. I could already tell that it didn’t end well. “She started to walk away, and I tried to convince her that dad deserved to be treated better- that just because he wasn’t perfect doesn’t mean that he’s a monster. I asked her why she held a grudge against him and she told me that it was for the best that she didn’t say. I got a little angry at first because she refused to listen to reason, listen to me. My dad’s tried to move on from his past mistakes, and yet, she wasn’t even making the effort to! He deserves to be treated as good as her friends! Heck, I’ve made mistakes in the past and I was forgiven, so why can’t he?!”
Diamond Tiara sniffed, wiping her face with a flimsy sleeve. “She tried to make an excuse by saying that I shouldn’t compare myself to what he’s done. She told me that it wasn’t like I had done anything absolutely horrid. Only… she… she was wrong. And I made sure that she knew that!”
“She had this look of utter disbelief and shock…” Diamond Tiara mumbled, trying and failing to imitate her mother’s scowl, “I continued to tell her of all the bad things I did when I was in school. Everything from cyberbullying to hazing, and even going so far as to sabotage anyone who stood in my way. Sure, dad may have done some questionable things, but he had reasons to. They weren’t justified... but they were reasons. I didn’t have any. I just did whatever I wanted, just because... just because I was horrible! I didn’t have any reason to be the way I was. I did it just because I could, just so I could see everyone be weaker than me, to be below me. I’ve hurt my classmates, my teachers, my peers and even my own best friend at times! I was scum! And even now, it still haunts me. There hasn’t ever come a time where I wish I could take it all back.”
She sighed. “All I want to do sometimes is to forget absolutely everything I’ve done. Y’know? Reset myself, move on with life as somebody else. I know that forgiveness probably isn’t gonna happen anytime soon, but I’m not going to give up. Every time I see my mom get worked up like that, it just-ugh, what choice do I even have?!” DT stared at me with burning eyes. “I don’t want to hear her say that I’m special or that I’m better off than others again. I don’t want to be told that I shouldn’t feel bad, not from her, of all people!” She motioned towards her black eye with a toothy grin. “I told her, if she doesn’t start treating dad better sometime soon, than she’d better start treating me waaay worse than even I did to everyone else.” There was a visible strain to her voice as she took a deep breath. “I saw, at exactly that moment,” She began with a wheeze, “I saw the fire in her eyes. She was beyond infuriated at that point. Some… very ugly words were thrown between us, even to the point of me yelling that I wished I’d never been born.”
I watched as her eyes began to glisten again. “After that…” She continued, a lone tear welling up in her unbruised eye, “After I said that, she just grabbed the closest thing she could reach, and she- she threw it at me. I honestly have no idea what it was that hit my eye. It could’ve been a frying pan for all I care. I wasn’t kicked out, so to say, but… the last thing I remember hearing when I ran out was her screaming back, ‘And don’t you dare come in again!’ I was terrified of my mom when I was running. I just wanted to get away, just wanted to see someone friendly for once.” She stared into my eyes. “I just wanted to see a friend. I-I’m sorry if that was too much…”
Diamond Tiara’s voice softened as she began to trip on the final words. I couldn’t believe it. She stood her ground for something she truly believed in, and the end result was horrible. I looked down at her, her tears now freely streaming down her face.
“No.” I said quietly, embracing her, “You d-don’t have to apologize for anything. This isn’t your fault.”
“I didn’t want to bother you or anyone else, but… I-I just couldn’t hold it in!” That was all she could say before she went silent once more. She hugged me back, no longer suppressing her emotions. “I can’t do it, Silver! I can’t handle this anymore! I try to be good for her all the time, I even try to impress her! I hate it when I make her mad or disappointed with me. It’s just… she hates me back, too. I’m sure of it! I never meant for all of this to happen! I’m so stupid, I’m unreliable, unable to live up to her lousy expectations… I’m a bad seed, Silver. She hates me because I’m not like her, because I’m not some greedy jerk who’d never hesitate at the chance to take advantage of somebody… She treats me like I’m the worst person in existence!” She opened her watery eyes, completely filled with sorrow as her fist clenched. “And the worst part is, she showed no remorse for what she did! Her own flesh and blood, and she just brushed it off! She happily abides by with everyone else and bashes on me without a second thought!”
“D-Diamond Tiara, please…” I urged.
Her shaking slowly went away, as her anger simmered. Her fists slowly lost their grip and I could feel her beginning to relax as I let her go.
“I wish I could spite her as well.” DT began, flicking away a final tear, “She’s been nothing but a cold-hearted jerk to me ever since dad and her split, but despite everything she’s said and done to me… I can’t find it in me to leave her. That part of me still wants to love her… She’s family, and family is something I know I can’t throw away. I can throw anyone else away if I had the guts to, but… why I still love her, even after everything she’s put me though? I don’t understand, Silver. I can’t understand it, nor do I think I ever will. Why can’t she see how much I’m hurting? Why can’t she understand just what she does to me? Am I… am I really that big of a burden on her?” she asked, shaking with fear.
I froze at her question. Frantically, I racked my mind for a response, knowing that standing idly would likely only make things worse. I said the first thing that came upon my mind.
“...Diamond Tiara, look at me.” I pleaded. She slowly looked up, tears spilling over her tear-stained face. My own tears were welling up as well. “She’s wrong.” I argued, “She’s wrong. There isn’t a single thing wrong with you. Despite everything that you’ve done, you don’t deserve the pain you're feeling. You don’t deserve being harassed by her every waking moment of your life, and most importantly, you don’t deserve loneliness. Yes, we may have done a lot of terrible things in the past, but… in the end, you… we changed, and became people. Even if your mother is against you for the rest of your life, I will always stay by your side through thick and thin.”
We stayed standing there for what felt like ages. Neither of us knew how to solve the problem, both of us drained of emotion for the night... but we had each other. It was the only thing that mattered. I didn’t care what would happen, as long as we were friends.
“T-Thanks, Silver Spoon.” DT sniffed, “I know I can be a pain to deal with, but… it means a lot to me that you listened to it all.” She let out a deep breath and looked at me, wiping away more tears as she grinned. “Hey, you won't tell anyone at school about me crying, will you?”
I shook my head with a small chuckle. “Of course not. We're best friends. I wouldn't betray you like that, especially not after everything you’ve been through.” I glanced to her side warily. Nobody saw or heard our conversation. “You can stay with me tonight.” I beamed, “That is, if you don't mind my dad’s dumb story telling.”
Diamond Tiara’s grin grew even wider. “After the day I've had, I think I’d rather go through that than be at home. At least stories can help pass the time.”
Author's Note
"Choose your thoughts carefully. Keep what brings you peace, release what brings you suffering. And know happiness is just a thought away."
-Nissan Panwar
