Ponies Go Paintballing

by Trials

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Random
Length: 9473

Twilight Sparkle and the gang go paintballing. Comical and exciting moments ensue.

Twilight Sparkle and the gang go paintballing. Of course, there's no entertainment without the use of paintball miniguns or paint grenade launchers, right? Twilight soon discovers that while friendship may be great, shooting someone in the face is a hell of a lot more fun. Although these ponies are the very best of friends, there can only be one winner. While the result is uncertain, there's only one thing that's for sure: hilarity and plentiful amounts of paint shall ensue.

Published 2012-07-25 00:44:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-27 17:56:47 UTC

Team Objective

Ponies Go Paintballing

Chapter 1: Team Objective

By Trials

“Move, my little ponies, move!” Twilight Sparkle yelled over the shrill whistle. Following their orders, Fluttershy and Applejack leapt into action, both moving in different directions. Their leader, Twilight, placed her semi-automatic paint rifle on the small barricade next to her and began searching the battlefield for targets. She stayed close to the enemy's objective in hopes of defending it when and if the time arose.

The layout was simple; a bridge was situated in the middle of the map, giving both teams the ability to move between each side. Filled with barricades and walls, this bridge had plenty of cover, allowing easy access and limited failure. However, there were alternatives. On either side of the bridge were small walkways. Unpopular with many, these paths were highly risky to walk upon as they often made one an easy target. A tall, wooden tower was placed on one side, which acted perfectly as a sniper spot. It gave the defending side an unequal advantage over the attackers, allowing one defender to take crack shots at the enemy.

Almost as straightforward as the map, the objective was for the attackers to place a fake bomb in the defender's base. More specifically, it had to be set within the small hut just behind Twilight. The teams were equal; one pegasus, one unicorn and one normal pony were stationed on both sides. Team Red consisted of Fluttershy, Applejack and the unicorn herself. The enemy team, Team Blue, had Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Rarity. Everyone was allowed to use their given abilities. Safety was, of course, of greatest importance, so there were certain limits as to what powers each pony could use.

Rule one, for instance: no physical contact. That included bucking, head-butting, punching, tackling and even biting. The last one seemed a bit unnecessary to Twilight – anyone who could bite through the safety mask on their face and have the power to even touch the enemy deserved a medal. What troubled her more was the fact that this rule was actually in place.

“Red leader, red leader, are you receiving me? Over.”

The incoming voice of her squad member brought Twilight back to her senses. She tapped the button on the side of her mask to deliver her reply. “Fluttershy, I hear you loud and clear. What is it?”

“I see the enemy crossing the walkway on the left. Permission to shoot?”

“Granted, but be conservative. We only have a hundred shots per round, so take your time aiming.”

Given the new order to shoot, the frail pegasus looked through the scope of her sniper rifle resting on the tower's edge. She licked her lips nervously, knowing that the risk of getting shot was present. A luxurious, purple tail came into view once more. Fluttershy exhaled, preparing her lungs for the perfect shot.

“But daaarling, why can't I be leader?” Rarity spoke pleadingly, hoping to catch Dash's attention.

“For the last time, Rarity, I'm leader! I have better experience than you, and plus, I have these babies!” Rainbow Dash shook her cyan wings quickly to indicate her meaning.

“Well, that may be, but I have my -”

“I don't care, darling, I'm the leader of this platoon and that's final!” Rarity raised an eyebrow to this rebuttal and Dash gave a sigh of exasperation. They both continued their gallop through the woods, the pegasus holding the foam bomb in one hoof and a paintball gun in the other. The leader glanced back at her teammate momentarily to check if she was keeping up with her brisk pace.

A spatter of yellow landed on a nearby tree, only inches away from the unicorn's face. “Get in cover!” Dash yelled over the sound of the shot as it echoed across the battlefield. Rarity did as ordered, hiding behind a thin tree. As she looked around for her attacker, she noticed the small patches of yellow paint in her mane. With a cry of horror, the white pony dropped to the floor.

“Rainbow Dash, go on without me! I'm done for...” Her voice overly dramatic, the unicorn spoke quietly for effect. She raised a hoof above her head to add to the drama of the moment.

“Not yet, Rarity, that's only a splatter. When you're hit directly, you're out for go-”

Another ball whizzed past Dash's head mid sentence, promptly putting an end to her speech. The round landed on Rarity's mask with a small squishing noise. Her mask was now decorated with the colour of her attacker, Fluttershy. The leader groaned in annoyance as her teammate wiped her mask with a hoof.

“Of all the places she could've hit me, it had to be the face! Why, if I ever see that darling, little pony again, I'll wipe the floor with the ruffian! How dare she...”

Rainbow Dash zoned out, no longer listening to complaining unicorn as she walked off the battlefield. Instead, she focussed on the matter at hoof. She tapped the red button on the side of her helmet. “Pinkie, lay me down some cover on that tower!” Dash could only guess where her attacker was hiding. Judging on Fluttershy's usual cowardly behaviour, she was most likely as far away from the battlefield as possible, taking precise shots at all she could see.

“Okie dokie lokie!” Came the cheerful reply of the earth pony over the intercom. A burst of fire echoed around the field, resulting in the sounds of several paintballs hitting wood. Now was the perfect time to move. Taking to the air, Rainbow Dash scanned her surroundings. The objective wasn't far away – only a mere hundred metres or so. Pinkie Pie was just below her, slightly to the left. Suddenly, the mare began galloping across the bridge, utilizing the defensive barricades and walls while holding her two pistols in either hoof.

“Pinkie, slow down! They'll get you easily!” The leader called over the radio, her voice as commanding as possible. But to no avail; there was no response. Dash fired a couple of rounds in the general direction of Pinkie's destination in hopes of at least suppressing the enemy enough to let her ally slip by.

Pinkie Pie was like a lone wolf. A deadly hunter with no pack. She didn't need any order or command. She simply needed herself as the predator. Like a wolf's two sets of claws, she had her two pistols. Like a wolf, she stalked the battlefield - searching for prey to locate and end. There, on the other side of the bridge - Applejack. The pink pony pulled the pin from her flash grenade and threw it towards her prey. It landed with barely any noise.

She continued to gallop over the barricades and cover of the bridge before jumping high in the air, somersaulting and finally landing behind Applejack, her guns akimbo style - all before the flash bang went off. While she waited for her kill to recover for taunting, Pinkie Pie tried to think of some cool phrases she could say. How about "Freeze, motherfucker!" Nah, too cliché. It had to be something original and unusually frightening.

Applejack was just simply holding her neck of the woods when the flash consumed her vision. No one had came into view until the bright light blinded her fully. In a confused daze, the farm pony tried to wipe her eyes to recover. However, it was impossible due to the mask covering her entire face. Instead, she decided to lay low for a while until the effects of the flash bang subsided.

When Applejack could see again, it was by far not the best thing she had ever lay eyes on. A familiarly pink pony stood over the mare, her two pistols pointed directly at her head. The orange pony tried to raise her shotgun to shoot the enemy, but it was far too late. Her assailant simply kicked the weapon out of her reach and continued to stare down.

“You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?” Pinkie Pie spoke in a confident tone, her intonation deadly serious. Applejack closed her eyes, hoping that a miracle would come and save her. Anything - just anything to save her from the world of shit she currently inhabited. She waited for the paint to splatter her head, but none came.

“Think again, bitch!” Fluttershy flew closer to Pinkie, taking careful aim with her sniper rifle. “You know... if that's okay with you...”

The following shot hit Pinkie's foreleg, forcing her to drop one of her prized guns in shock. As the earth pony turned to shoot her attacker with her remaining pistol, Fluttershy fired another round, hitting the other foreleg. She then proceeded to shoot Pinkie Pie on the plot for good measure. With a yelp of surprise, the party pony picked up her guns and scurried off the battlefield, rubbing her flank as she went.

“Well, thank y'all kindly, Fluttershy! I would've been a goner for sure.” Applejack stood up from the ground, picking up her paint shotgun. The yellow pegasus gave a nod of acknowledgement before a lone paintball hit her left wing. With a shriek of surprise, Fluttershy began circling in a downwards spiral, inevitably about to hit the cold earth beneath her flailing body.

“Red leader, red leader, I am going down, over. I repeat, I am going down in section two, alpha-” The pegasus landed graciously on the battlefield before walking off. Not so sure of herself, Fluttershy winced as the pain finally hit her. She kept her wings folded in an attempt to prevent further damage.

Applejack was completely confused. What did 'sekshun two alfer' even mean? She wore a puzzled expression as she tried to decipher Fluttershy's previous dramatics. When she realised her impending doom, however, it was too late to do a thing. The enemy was still present. A dark, looming shadow flew above her, stalking the poor farmer as if she were a mere plaything. She decided to run - to fall back to base, defend herself and the objective. The shadow, on the other hoof, had other ideas.

It closed in on its target, taking the fleeing pony by surprise. It then proceeded to grasp the defenceless enemy's helmet, replacing it with her own. The shadow then pointed its gun at Applejack, waiting for the opportune moment. No miracle to save her this time.

“Are you ready, Twi? Because I'm comin' to get you and win this game once and for all!” The squeaky voice of Rainbow Dash entered Twilight's ears through the intercom. How did she manage to speak over the radio? The microphones only enabled team chat – not enemy chat. Just then, she heard multiple shots fire. A familiar shout of pain echoed across the battlefield, sending shivers down the unicorn's spine. She saw her orange teammate limp off of the field, obviously hurt by the enemy.

No matter, Twilight had calculated the chances of Dash's victory, and rest assured, there was absolutely no possibility. The pegasus may have her flying abilities, but that was also her downfall. It meant that she was predictable – that she would most likely attack from above. While that may seem like the perfect attack for 1 on 1, Twilight had another trick up her sleeve: her magic.

“Twilight Spa-a-rkle... Come out, come out wherever you are...” Dash's voice was quiet as she mocked her through the use of the radio. “I promise not to shoot you too many times if you surrender...” She continued to speak in a sing-song tone, attempting to unhinge the lone defender. But Twilight remained firm, her paintgun held tightly in her strong hooves. She began to back away from her previous spot, instead choosing to move closer to the objective for more defence.

“Aha, got you now!” The enemy exclaimed happily as she came into view. She moved swiftly through the air, firing off several rounds in the direction of Twilight Sparkle. As she flew closer, she readied the fake bomb in her hoof. However, Twilight didn't run like the pegasus expected. She simply stood still as a purple glow enveloped the horn atop her head.

Suddenly, the same shade of purple consumed Dash herself. It stopped her momentum, bringing her to a stop in flight. She found that she couldn't move a muscle. Rather comically, her body remained still in the air as an easy target - one such target that Twilight didn't feel like missing. The unicorn aimed the paint rifle directly at the pegasus. Dash could only scream obscenities and curse words as she was held helplessly in the air.

“Rainbow Dash, do you surrender?” Twilight asked confidently with a smarmy smile. Under the circumstances, the victim couldn't answer. “Is that a 'no' I see?” The purple pony queried once more before laughing harshly. Again, Dash was unable to elicit any kind of response, let alone an indication.

Twilight closed her left eye and fired a single shot on her enemy's mask. It covered the entire area of it, splattering it with a deep purple. Now, Dash was unable to move and see. Before long, the unicorn ceased the spell, enabling her friend to fall softly to the ground. The enemy leader gave a groan of exasperation before allowing her head to drop to the soft earth below.

“Game over! And the winning team is... Red Team! Give it up for the Red Team, guys, you all did wonderfully!” The cheerful voice of the announcer echoed through the speakers, thus finishing round one of pony paintball. Twilight helped Dash to her feet and assisted in dusting off any ground or dirt residing on her fir. They both moved slowly off the battlefield onto the next game, allowing the stunned silence between them settle.

The thought that she was walking alongside the enemy never left Twilight's mind.

A/N: I know it's a silly idea and most likely not the first story of its kind, but what the hell - it's extremely fun to write. There will be three chapters of this, the next two coming out soon. Both of them will have other modes, so they'll be very different. Of course, paintball miniguns and paint grenade launchers will be coming with them.

Multi Team Deathmatch

Ponies Go Paintballing

Chapter 2: Multi Team Deathmatch

By Trials

For the second time that day, the whistle blew.

Rarity galloped over the sandy ground, kicking up small granules of dirt as she went. In her two hooves she held a large, cumbersome machine gun, full to the brim with hundreds of paintballs. Despite its heavy weight and her own relatively weak structure, Rarity found it rather easy to carry. She sought revenge – an irrefutable need to claim vengeance on the one who shot her first - Fluttershy.

The unicorn indicated to her team mate, Twilight Sparkle, to follow her on the path of retribution. When she remained motionless on the battlefield, however, Rarity released a sigh through her protective helmet. She repeated the motion, pointing forwards several times with her free hoof. “Twilight, darling, what are you doing? Let us go and...get some, I believe is the correct terminology.”

But the mare did not go and 'get some.' She said nothing and simply got into cover behind several strange crates, lying her regular gun across the top. Of course - Twilight was nothing more than a dirty camper. Rarity gave up with the excuse of a soldier and began running off in the opposite direction.

There were three teams in this round. One pegasus team, one unicorn team and one earth pony team. Seems unfair, right? Wrong! No one was allowed to use their powers, regardless of situation. Any use of said abilities would result in immediate disqualification. Aside from this strict rule, there were no others. All is fair in ponies and war.

The objective was obvious – to defeat, maim, mutilate or even destroy the enemy teams by any means necessary. And so, Rarity did just that as she scoured the village. The surviving team or pony would be victorious. Of rather odd design, the map was very reminiscent of a simple desert town. It had small, inaccessible houses and huts, forcing each pony to remain on the streets of the battlefield. The only forms of cover were dusty walls and dusty crates, corresponding to the dusty dust below Rarity's feet. All that dirty dust and dusty dirt - Rarity couldn't stand such a map!

As the unicorn attempted to remove the sand in her precious mane and coat, she failed to notice the enemy lurking behind her. The attacker raised her suppressed pistol, a cruel smile on her face. Closing her left eye, she looked down the iron sight of her small weapon before pulling the trigger multiple times. The poor, defenceless enemy could do nothing as the yellow paint covered her once more.

“Fluttershy, you fiend! Have you no pride?” Rarity yelled in the general direction of her target. In response, another couple of shots hit the unicorn, directly spraying her mane. In utter outrage, the victim threw her heavy gun to the dust below, raising her hooves for a fight. “Have at you, Fluttershy! Let's see how well you cope without hiding behind your weapon!” She bounced around on her hind legs, waiting for the pegasus to come into view.

The only thing that did appear certainly wasn't Fluttershy. The same colour, definitely, but no pony to be seen. More paintballs shot at Rarity – this time actually causing pain. Instead of continuing to provoke her nemesis, the pony gave up and began moving back. Now more yellow than white, Rarity ran off the sandy battlegrounds before yelling further insults and curses for the second time that day.

One down, three to go.

Rainbow Dash had given up trying to assist Fluttershy. Her undoubtedly nooby team mate would surely slow her down significantly, and if there was one thing Dash hated, it was things slowing her down. She moved from wall to wall quickly, trying to conceal her body as much as possible from enemy view while making her way through the battlefield. Constantly on the look for not only herself but other ponies as well, the mare was frequently searching her surroundings.

Stealth was key in this map – there was plainly no place for sloppiness. Looking down the sights of her automatic shotgun, she surveyed the area for enemies. Nothing, until a blur of orange appeared several metres away, quickly forcing Dash back into cover. She quietened her own breath, attempting to retain the stealth she previously had. When she looked around the wall once more after a couple of seconds, it was clear that her attempt had failed.

Small, orange capsules landed around the pegasus, exploding with the same coloured paint. It splattered the ground and walls alike, turning the dull yellow into a vivid orange. Dash held her hooves across her body to shield herself from the blasts, but to no avail. She could feel it as it completely drenched her fur. After the barrage of grenades had ceased, the pegasus looked down on herself. There was literally no other colour than orange. Every other colour previously on her coat had been eradicated and overtaken with the paint of her attacker, even her multi-coloured mane and tail.

Dash simply slumped against the now orange crates, essentially giving up. All fires of possible victory burning in her heart had been extinguished, leaving her demoralised and broken. Before long, the familiar enemy stood above her. The pegasus spoke mockingly, in a weak attempt to retain what little dignity she had left.

“'Tis but a splatter...”

“Uh, Ah'm sorry, sugar cube - Ah think you're out.”

“No, I'm not.”

“Well, what's all that paint?”

“I've had worse.”

“Don't lie to me, sugarcube!”

“Come on, you pansy!” Dash raised her automatic shotgun one last time in defiance. Her mask was stifling, it narrowed her vision. And she must see close. Her gun was heavy, it threw her off balance. And her target is relatively nearby.

In spite of the sudden boldness, Applejack wasn't in the mood to get shot. She simply squeezed the trigger on her paint grenade launcher, sending another capsule directly into Dash's plot. It burst upon impact, adding to the layers upon layers of paint. The pegasus winced in pain before dropping her gun and galloping off in the direction of the 'dead' area. The earth pony laughed heartily at the sight. This hadn't been the first time she'd seen her best friend run with her tail tucked between her legs.

“Unlucky, Dash! Another one bites de_dust, Ah believe!”

Unfortunately, Applejack didn't have quite the same experience of her victim. After hearing the loud laughter and gunfire from around the corner, Twilight Sparkle had managed to locate the enemy. She licked her lips, readying herself for the perfect moment. Deciding that this moment was as good as any other, the unicorn fired several rounds in the direction of Applejack. When she heard the noises and yelps of pain, she knew she hadn't missed.

Twilight looked around once more to determine the status of her enemy. Stifling a small giggle, the unicorn watched as the earth pony began moving off the battlefield. Applejack was rubbing her now purple Cutie Mark as she went slowly across the street, searching for her attacker. Before long, she noticed the silently giggling wreck of a pony, squinting her eyes at the unicorn. This only provoked further laughter, forcing Twilight to let out a rather uncouth guffaw.

Just another vengeful pony added to the list.

Pinkie Pie had the scent. After letting her guard down with the previous interaction, she vowed to claim vengeance. Sniffing the stagnant air, the lone wolf began her search. She gripped her two paintball submachine guns with both hooves as she jumped over the crates. A splatter of vibrant yellow covered the sand below her, further indicating her prey's location. She bent down to taste the paint, ignoring the horrible taste as she determined when it was fired.

Only a couple of minutes ago.

The pink pony span in a circle on her hind legs, firing in all directions possible. She covered the walls and houses with pink paint in an attempt to hit - or at least frighten - her prey. Nothing moved, perhaps revealing that no enemy was present. Suddenly, a burst of fire erupted from in front of her. With both guns pointing forwards, she ran over to the source of the sound, her mask steaming up as she exhaled hot breath. Turning around a corner, she came face to face with a particularly cheerful purple unicorn, who was currently making hushed noises of laughter through her mask.

In response, Twilight Sparkle adjusted her aim slightly. She opened fire on Pinkie Pie, sending more than a couple paintballs in her target's way. However, she didn't account for the earth pony's flexibility. Pinkie Pie ducked down low, avoiding the majority of the shots. When the trail of projectiles began to lower, putting the enemy at risk of getting shot, she jumped up high and dropped her two guns in mid-air.

As she landed roughly on her back hooves, Pinkie pulled on the handle of a large slot. Along with it came approximately 6 inches of pinkly paint-coated, pure plastic. She gripped the fake knife tightly in her right hoof as she leapt for her soon-to-be victim. There was simply no time to think of any witty or memorable quotes.

Her mouth involuntarily wide open in shock, Twilight Sparkle simply stared at her nimble opponent as she soared through the air. Time seemingly slowed down, allowing the unicorn to take in every extravagant detail of each second as they eventually passed by. She just didn't know what to do – here was a pony leaping at her with a harmless knife dripping with pinkness. This sort of thing didn't exactly happen everyday, you know.

Luckily for her, a temporary protector appeared from the shadows. Twilight could only watch on as the weird events unfolded. Fluttershy raised her paint pistol slowly, corresponding to the reduction in time. She fired her gun, sending a paintball through the air in slow motion. Twilight could literally see the ball burst open and cover her attacker's fur in yellow paint.

“Never bring a knife to a gunfight, whore!”

Suddenly, the normal flow of time resumed before Twilight's eyes. Pinkie's flight changed in direction, no longer moving forwards, but instead spiralling into a nearby wall. The poor, pink, party pony hit the brick arrangement rather hard, dropping the paint-covered, rubber knife as she fell to the yellow dirt below.

Thinking quickly, Twilight aimed her paint rifle towards Fluttershy. “Surrender, Fluttershy, or I'll shoot you where you stand!” The unicorn attempted to hide the fear in her voice by making it threatening and gruff. In actuality, Twilight had ran out of ammunition several seconds ago. She silently hoped her would-be victim didn't call the bluff as she continued to stare her down.

She had Fluttershy's full attention now. Despite her previous courage, the pegasus didn't want to get hit. Getting shot really hurt, and pain resistance wasn't exactly her forte. Considering that Twilight was mere yards away, the paint would definitely do more than sting. What was that old saying? Live today and fight tomorrow? That was exactly what she would do.

With a sigh of defeat, Fluttershy dropped her weapon before raising her tired hooves in the air.

“Game over, folks! And what a great game it was! Coming in first place...Team Unicorn! Let's have a round of applause for Team Unicorn!” Again, the happy voice of the announcer echoed through the tiny speakers at both sides of the battlefield.

“C'mon, Fluttershy, let's check on Pinkie,” Twilight said worriedly. The well-being of her friend was obviously more important than her victory. She moved over to the still body with Fluttershy beside her. With the help of both ponies, they managed to pick the dazed pony from the dust and lead her away from the battlefield.

“H-hey, guys? Since when was the grass y-yellow, guys?” Pinkie Pie spoke confusedly, her voice slurred and rather slow. Her friends couldn't help but laugh at her misfortune and randomness, further confusing the pink, earth pony.

Unbeknownst to the enemy, Fluttershy had managed to extract the plastic, pink-coated knife. She grasped it under her gun, hiding it from plain sight. She would get revenge on Twilight Sparkle for that embarrassment, and it would be brutal.

A/N: Aw, still no paintball minigun yet? What a shame, eh? I guess you'll have to read all about it next round. Spoilers aside, please leave a comment and such. It's nice to know where I'm going right and where I'm going wrong. Stay tuned for another paint-soaked chapter.

Balloon Battle

Ponies Go Paintballing

Chapter 3: Balloon Battle

By Trials

The 60 second whistle blew.

Twilight Sparkle and the rest of her team moved quickly into the big room next to the starting area. She surveyed her surroundings, trying to memorise the sight for tactics. Most notably was the floating boat in front of her. With normal, boat-like features, the ship had a steering wheel and a lower deck with several windows on each side. Rather abnormally, however, it had a huge, red balloon instead of a sail. It was only at this precise moment that Twilight understood the name 'balloon battle.'

Beside the red boat was a giant, metal grille spanning across the entire hangar. As the unicorn studied the wall, she noticed the blue team staring back at her. They all made silly gestures at her, either sticking out their tongues or slapping their flanks cheekily. Twilight silently noted the equal teams. Both had the same amount of races: two pegasi, two unicorns and two earth ponies. Each side had exactly the same guns, which allegedly made both evenly matched...

“Hey, Twilight! Get over here or they're gonna wipe the floor with us!”

Snapping back into reality, the purple mare walked across the wooden plank to join her team on the ship. As the captain of the team, it only seemed right that she drove the boat. Twilight placed her normal paintball gun beside her on the deck before gripping the steering wheel. Another shrill whistle echoed through the speakers above her, indicating the 45 second start.

Only a small amount of time left to discuss tactics with her team-mates.

“Right, listen up, girls.” The captain turned to face her group with an encouraging smile. If looks could kill, let's just say that Twilight would be at least fatally wounded. Her team looked upon her with disdain and anger, each one of them narrowing their eyes at her. Well, at least the majority of them. Pinkie Pie wore a full-face gas mask, so it prevented the team leader from viewing her look of pure, unbridled hate.

“Uh, girls, I know it's been a long and hard day and all, but no hard feelings, r-right?”

Her 'team-mates' remained silent - something that shook Twilight to her very core. Despite their obvious lack of response, the expressions on each one of their faces held the answer to her answer. No matter how tough this day already was, it was about to get a whole lot tougher.

“Uh, Doctor Hooves-”

“Please, Colgate, just call me Hooves.” The brown colt shot the unicorn a friendly smile, hoping she would return it. As Colgate's face remained as emotionless as ever, however, he knew that his attempt had failed. Back to the drawing board, it seemed.

“Oh, okay then. Hooves, what exactly are we doing on this round?”

“Hey, guys, circle around, please.” The doctor called out to the rest of his team, indicating for them to gather with the beckoning of his hoof. When every one of them surrounded him, the colt was happy enough to give an explanation.

“The objective of this game is fairly simple. As a group, we have to steer this boat we're currently standing on around an area. In about...30 seconds, that metal barrier there is going to disappear, allowing the other team to attack us,” Doctor Hooves pointed directly at the large grille in the middle of the room before speaking again.

“They'll be doing exactly the same thing as us - attempting to move their own ship around the map to finally arrive at the finish line. Now, there are absolutely no rules in this round. You can get shot all you like, and you can still stay in the game. If you perhaps fall off the side of the boat, there is a teleportation device that will send you back on-board.”

“But why would we fall off?”

“Well, they have exactly the same weapons as we do. What do you have there, Colgate?”

“I'm not exactly sure, but it kinda looks like some sort of rocket-propelled grenade launcher...” The unicorn looked down quizzically at her weapon. “So, you're saying one of them has an RPG?”

“That's precisely what I'm saying! Very astute observation, there.” Hooves gave another warm-hearted smile, but to no avail. He let out an inward sigh before continuing, “Say that that nice, young mare over there shoots one of those paint rockets at us. You won't exactly be staying still, now will you? So, when that happens, you'll be absolutely fine. Well, I say 'fine,' but...”

“Ten.”

“Alright, blue team, masks on. Get ready for that final whistle. This is it!”

“Nine.”

“Hey, Horsepower, you feeling pumped?”

“Eight.”

“HELL, YEAH,” The monster of a pony replied strongly, raising his paintball minigun with ease.

“Seven.”

Doctor Hooves took this number as his cue. He placed his paintball rifle down on the wooden planks beside him. Rubbing his hooves together in preparation, he finally took the steering wheel in his grasp. The colt gave his team one last look for checking. All of them were making crude signs at the other team, further boosting their own morale. As it happened, it wasn't entirely a bad tactic. Red team didn't look too happy, so it seemed to be working to some extent.

“Two.”

Every pony in the hangar raised their own guns.

“One.”

“FWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET.”

With a high-pitched scraping sound, the metal grille disappeared into the wall. The hangar doors opened in the same fashion, revealing the landscape ahead. In front of the two teams was a massive lake, spanning as far as any of them could see. No grass or land could be seen. Giant, sandy cliffs surrounded the water, creating a type of canyon. Before anyone could begin shooting, a surge of magical energy entered both airships, sending them accelerating through the air. As a result, every single pony in the room lost their balance and subsequently fell to the deck hard.

They quickly adjusted, however, picking themselves and most importantly their guns up from the wooden planks. Both captains fought the sudden burst of speed to grab the steering wheels once more. Steering seemed aimless at this point, considering that the path was as straight as an arrow. For now, at least.

The first pony to fire was Bon Bon. Below the deck, she extended the bipod of her .50 cal paintball sniper rifle on the window ledge. She placed the stock of the gun on her neck, looked through the scope and finally squeezed the trigger gently, thus sending the .50 cal paintball flying through the air. Bearing in mind that the boats were only a few metres away in distance, and that the projectile in question was ridiculously large compared to normal-sized paintballs, it made a fairly large impact on Rarity's precious mane.

Bon Bon tutted to herself, disappointed in the knowledge that she missed an easy headshot.

Rarity wasn't exactly ecstatic, either. She threw back her paint-splattered head and released a noise somewhere between a shriek of rage and a war cry. It was so loud, in fact, that the rest of her team had to cover their ears for protection – even from behind their masks. With her patented, multicolour paint-thrower in hoof, Rarity suddenly jumped over the body of water between the two ships. As if by magic, she landed gracefully on the deck before aiming her weapon at the nearest pony.

“WHO SHOT ME?!” Rarity yelled at Colgate, scaring her beyond comprehension. Her voice was so deafening that it stunned the entire blue team into silence. Not a single pony acted, which only infuriated the unicorn further. “I SAID, SHOT ME?!” When no one responded once more, Rarity simply tightened her grip on the trigger.

“Hey, unicorn, your mane looks like shit. Why don't you take a bath?”

Doctor Hooves let loose the paintball minigun in his hooves. Seeing as though Horsepower was in no condition to argue, and obviously no one else was going to take action, it only seemed right that he picked up the closest weapon next to him. The multiple paintballs found their way onto Rarity's mask and body. Unable to stop the steady flow of projectiles, Rarity snarled viciously before the overwhelming force pushed her over the side of the boat.

As Hooves had mentioned before, the bad-tempered mare was teleported back up to the boat. Dripping wet, Rarity shot the doctor a look of absolute hatred. That was going to become a problem.

“Thanks, Hooves...you saved my plot, back there.” The dark blue unicorn spoke with gratitude, and perhaps even a dash of compassion. Which was rare for a mare such as Colgate.

“Anytime,” Doctor responded coolly. He feared his crush could see his cheeks blushing furiously, so he decided to turn back around. Before he could finish his full circulation, however, a gruff noise emanated from a particularly buff pegasus beside him. He stared down at the smaller colt, seemingly searching or looking for something.

“Oh, right! Sorry about that, chap.” Hooves handed the bulky weapon back to its owner, only then realising the actual weight of the object. Horsepower gave an approving nod before firing upon the enemy boat. As he did so, he began chanting an odd song or ditty, which went perfectly with the rate he was shooting.

Applejack had to duck to avoid the incoming fire. Her head safely hidden below the side of the ship, she looked back at her own team to see the ongoing carnage. Unable to defend herself, Twilight Sparkle could only raise a hoof to protect her face. The blue paint soon covered every inch of her body, all apart from the mask she was covering. As happy as it made Applejack to see her enemy in such distress, they were going to lose the match unless she did anything. Twilight wasn't the only victim, as it seemed. Practically the entire red team was caught out, too.

So, it was up to her.

Applejack suddenly stood up on her two hind legs, raising her paint RPG and aiming it straight at the perpetrator. “SUPRESSING!” She yelled, firing the missile directly at the enemy. Just as his prey before him, the mingun-toting enemy couldn't do a thing to prevent the attack. Applejack had hit him well.

Horsepower was sent flying off the deck of the ship. The orange mare could only see his pathetically-small wings trying to fly, but to no avail – the momentum was just too strong. He simply plunged into the blue water beneath him before being teleported back up to his ship.

With an exclamation of success, the earth pony fished out another missile from the belt around her waist. She proceeded to fit the end of the explosive into the chamber, and then rotated it to the right until it clicked loudly.

When Appeljack lifted her head above the side once more, however, she didn't expect to see the enemy so close.

Lyra had to focus on more than one thing at a time. Most importantly: the whole levitation thingy. Without being airborne, the unicorn wouldn't be able to concentrate on the second factor: the enemy. As the power consuming her entire body kept her in flight, she began to fire her weapon. 15 different colours of fully biodegradable paint spurted out from her paint-thrower, completely covering the orange pony nearest to her. As it turned out she wasn't that orange for much longer.

Feeling that the earth pony had had her fair share, Lyra moved onto other targets. First of all, she fired upon the driver. Not expecting the sudden onslaught, Twilight Sparkle was unable to defend herself as she did before. The multi-coloured paint layered her entire mask, coating it in various, different colours. Lyra could see the unicorn suffering, clearly blinded by the plentiful paint. When she tried to wipe away the vibrant mess of colours, more just seemed to appear. It was like an endless supply of entertainment, and the member of blue team didn't feel like letting up for anything.

Of course, being unable to see also meant that the unicorn was unable to steer. Unbeknownst to both Lyra and the Twilight, the distance between the boats was closing. The frantic efforts of Doctor Hooves trying to shift away failed, thus ending in the red boat scraping along the side of the blue boat. Lyra lost her focus, stopping the levitation spell just as suddenly as the airships colliding. She plunged to the deck of the red boat.

The unicorn hit the wood hard, forcing her to drop the weapon upon impact. Winded from the incident, Lyra was only capable of staring down the yellow, automatic shotgun-toting pegasus standing above her. “Why don't we take a walk? Hmm?” Fluttershy spoke menacingly, picking the temporarily paralysed mare up off the deck. Wrapping a hoof around her victim's neck, the mare pointed the weapon at Lyra's head.

“Everybody, freeze! Or the bitch loses her head!” Fluttershy yelled over the noises of gunfire. Being in the state that she was, Lyra was unable to stop the psychotic attacker. She merely looked on as she saw her own team recoil in shock. Noticing the sudden silence, the yellow pegasus glared back at her own team before speaking in a loud tone. “Not you, idiots! Go get their weapons, double time!”

Both sides simply did nothing. The surprise both shocked and surprised them, pushing them into a stationary state. No weapons were fired, and certainly no weapons were taken. Angered by her team's obvious stupidity, the mare yelled once more, “Why aren't you doing anything?! Did I fucking stutte-”

“Boom. Headshot.” Bon Bon smiled at her fortune, finally achieving her goal for the game.

A .50 paintball ended the pony's rage-induced speech mid-sentence. Lyra could see the faint splatter of blue paint on her own mask, only then realising her assailant's fate. She looked back at the diabolical mare, whose protective mask was now completely filled with paint. Using this surprise to her advantage, the unicorn grabbed the weapon previously pointed at her face. Instead of taking Fluttershy hostage, like she did to her only moments before, Lyra simply shot. She kept firing directly at the pegasus' plot until the ammunition ran out, letting out all the rage that had built up inside her.

Stepping back for a second, Lyra looked at her work. The yellow pegasus was no longer yellow, and was actually no longer standing. For all she cared, the bitch could've just fainted. What sort of rational pony points an automatic shotgun at someone's face? Even if it was only paint...

Suddenly, the gunfire returned.

Lyra had to move quickly, else she would become a target. Dropping the spent shotgun, she picked up her own paint-thrower. Several ponies tried to get in her way, but she quickly changed their minds by spraying them over a couple of times. Lyra finally dove off the side of the ship, teleporting back to her own. Mission complete.

Twilight Sparkle had to rub her own mask vigorously to remove the layers of paint drying on it. When she realised the her ship had crashed into the other, she quickly swung the steering wheel to the left. No longer stuck in a heap, both ships returned to their previous speed. They had both made it past the water by now, and as Twilight looked on to see the new area, her jaw dropped to the wooden deck. Had it not been for the protective helmet, it probably would've the complete journey.

There was no ground. Well, for at least a long way down, anyway. The airship continued to hover at the same altitude, despite the new revelation. Fear found its way into Twilight's heart. It was just so high – how was this even safe?

“Twilight, please move. I would like to steer for a bit.” Rarity spoke in her usual, whiny tone.

“But, I'm captain. I've got us this far, haven't I?”

“Well, you haven't done a very good job doing it, have you?” Rarity snapped, flipping her mane back in one, smooth motion.

“It's only because you guys haven't defended me well enough!” Twilight Sparkle shot back. She knew she was skating on thin ice, and that tensions were high, but it had to be said. Her team was just plain sloppy.

By now, the rest of her team had turned their attention to the debate, regardless of the incoming projectiles. They all circled around the unicorn on the steering wheel, nodding their heads and agreeing with Rarity.

“I beg your pardon?! Are you suggesting that we, as defenders, are not doing a good enough job?” Twilight knew where this was going. Rarity was a dab hoof at manipulating the crowd to her own use, and this crowd didn't need a whole lot of convincing. She had to pick her next words carefully – her fate hung in the balance.

“No, just saying...”

“I've had enough of your disingenuous assertions. Come on, mares, let us apprehend the witch!”

The now hostile audience began to move forward on Twilight Sparkle. All of their weapons trained on her, she was unable to do anything but watch. Her own gun was simply too far away to grab, and would only make matters worse under the circumstances. Twilight's only weapon now was her words.

“But...This is mutiny! They won't let you-”

“Yeah, we know.” Dash said casually.

Well, that was that.

The group picked up the unicorn as one. They rotated her to the left slightly and then placed her on the plank. Rarity spoke up, making her voice heard. "Darling, must you make this so difficult on ourselves? Why not just...take a stroll? It'll be over much quicker than you think, trust me."

She didn't know how to respond to that one. Did they really want her to kill herself, so they didn't have to themselves? Well, if she was going out, she was going to go out with some fight still left in her. Twilight stood still on the plank, refusing to budge an inch. She quietly tried to think of a spell that could repel all of them in one fell swoop. No way, were they going to take her down-

And then Fluttershy gave her a big push.

As Twilight Sparkle fell, she tried desperately to cast a teleportation spell. The rushing wind and noise put off her concentration, however, and only succeeded in wasting energy. She began to panic. The ground was coming ever closer - the speed at which she was falling made her eyes water.

This was the end for her. Through every trial and tribulation in her life, it had to be her own friends who bumped her off. Not Nightmare Moon, Discord or even Queen Chrysalis – her friends. Twilight felt no bitterness, only sadness. Her best friends had betrayed her without even batting an eyelid, and that was it. The earth was rushing up to meet her now, and there was not a thing she could do about it. This was it...

And then she was back on-board the ship.

Twilight Sparkle looked down at her own hooves, confused beyond her own understanding. A bemused frown replaced the fearful one, still puzzled by the recent events. Multiple paintballs continued hitting her at the same time, but it didn't matter. A miracle had just happened, and Twilight simply couldn't believe it.

“What is it, sweetie, didn't someone get the memo?” Rarity looked back on her from the steering wheel, an amused smile etched across her entire face. Until an incoming paintball splattered against her mask, that is. Then, Twilight couldn't see it at all. “There's a teleport down there, but I suppose no one told you...”

The finish line came into view.

Doctor Hooves shouted over the gunfire, trying to insert some order into the chaos. All ponies able to move had to distract the enemy team as much as possible. Anyone else had to attempt to stay on-board for as long as possible, either to defend their own captain, or to attack the other. Both ships were tied – thus unable to win individually without assistance. There had to be an obstacle.

Derpy Hooves took the skies rather haphazardly, her wings barely able to keep up with the speed of the ships. Holding the smallish automatic shotgun in her hooves, she began to locate easy targets. The captain said something about attacking the captain, but that didn't make much sense. Why would he want Derpy to shoot him?

The grey mare forgot all about the predicament she was in when a large, incoming paintball just grazed the tip of her helmet. She looked around for the suspect, and finally found her best friend, Rainbow Dash flying beside her, only mere metres away.

“Hey, Dash! Did you see a sniper anywhere?” Derpy Hooves spoke without care, not knowing that the pony she was looking for was right before of her eyes. Dash almost felt sorry for the pegasus. Had it not been for that irrational, insatiable urge to win, she probably would've complied to her emotions.

Without feeling the need to drag the awkward moment on longer than necessary, the multi-coloured mare just pulled the trigger. They were so close, there just wasn't even any point in aiming. Derpy's expression immediately turned from one of friendliness to one of betrayal. Dash just decided to look on as she saw her friend descend rapidly...towards her own ship.

Oh, shit.

Rainbow Dash immediately regretted her decision. Derpy Hooves was well known for her 'Iron Arse', and it was now aiming directly for the wooden deck. The cyan mare tried to catch up with the falling menace, but there was simply no hope. Just as before, Dash could only watch as the chaos enfolded.

As expected, Derpy went straight through one side of the boat, and out the other. A giant, butt-shaped hole replaced the mare, sending the latter soaring through the sky underneath the boat, no doubt to go through the teleport. Dash could only sigh as her remaining team-mates looked up at her disappointedly. Not only was the hole a hazard to everyone's health, it actually reduced the speed of the airship by quite a lot. As in, the enemy team were now in front by metres – not inches, any longer.

There was only thing that called for this.

“Applejack, get on Fluttershy's back, and Pinkie, do the same with Dash!” The ponies in a circle around Twilight Sparkle looked at her as if she was insane. “Girls, do you want to win, or not?” That seemed to do the trick. With a small shrug, Pinkie Pie got on Fluttershy's back with her Minigun in hoof. Applejack clambered on Dash in much the same fashion, with her RPG primed and ready. Neither pegasi struggled nor buckled under the heavy weight - most likely due to the close scent of victory.

“Now, go cause some havoc...” Twilight grinned menacingly. Time for some payback. Avoiding the hole in the middle of the deck, the unicorn returned to Rarity's side once more. They both stared at the checkered finish line in the distance. Despite all that had happened today, it was a most beautiful sight.

Following their orders, the two pegasi and earth ponies quickly crossed over to the blue boat. Hovering just above the balloon itself, the pegasi gave their riders the perfect view for shooting. They began firing immediately, trying to disturb the ship as much as possible. Attempting to cause as much mayhem and chaos as they could in the hopes of victory. They had the element of surprise on their hands, making their work a lot easier.

After reloading for the third time, Applejack aimed directly at the captain, who could only look up in horror. Pinkie got the same idea, and began firing her impossibly fast paintballs at the poor colt.

His team-mates incapable of doing anything, Doctor Hooves simply stood there and took it. He wouldn't risk his allies for any kind of punishment he couldn't take himself, so he continued to stand and steer the boat. When the sixth missile hit him once more, however, his opinion quickly changed. The minigun he could shrug off, but the rockets were just too strong.

Hooves could hear the seventh missile fire. He closed his eyes and prepared for impact...but it never came. The explosion certainly did, but where was the missile? Looking around, he noticed a giant paint splatter on the middle of the deck. Perhaps that pony had missed, or someone had the misfortune of getting right in the way.

“Eurgh...Someone...please, help me.”

A quiet voice spoke from the side of the ship. Slightly curious, the doctor poked his head over the barricade to get a better look. There she was – Colgate, hanging on for dear life on the edge of the boat. Only Doctor Hooves knew of her fear of heights. It was him that knew her fear reduced Colgate to uselessness. Someone had to rescue her, and it couldn't be him.

Or, could it?

No, no, it just couldn't. Steering the ship was just too important to forsake over petty fears - no matter how...heroic he would look like in front of his crush. But, surely, someone could save her? Doctor Hooves looked back at the empty deck, which had obviously been abandoned. How could he tell? Well, there were various, multi-coloured hoof prints leading down to the lower deck. So, it was all up to him. It wasn't like this match mattered that much to him, anyway. Paintball had never really been his thing.

Leaving the steering wheel in a predicted trajectory of the finish line, Hooves quickly galloped over to the edge of the boat. The enemy followed him constantly, their paint attempting to get in the way. He had to be light on his hooves, just in case of any slipping. Slipping hurt, and-

Colgate, Hooves, think Colgate.

With his legs outstretched, the colt leaned over the side of the boat rather precariously. Hooves found the mare dangling just to the right of him. He could see the eyes of Colgate literally light up as she noticed his presence. Her beautiful, hypnotic...

More important issues at hoof, Hooves.

The brown colt grabbed the mare's hooves firmly before attempting to pull her up. As Hooves did, however, he looked back into Colgate's deep eyes and saw fear. She wasn't exactly looking at him – more like something behind him. Her mouth formed words, but he could not hear. Turning around, Hooves noticed the yellow pegasus standing still with a paint-covered knife in her hoof. She began to advance on the vulnerable colt, whose fate was just assured. No matter how hard he tried, the final hurdle would always be there to trip him up. This would cost him the game, and possibly even the respect that Colgate had for him. Well, this was it...

Suddenly, a pink blur appeared from nowhere. It moved over to Fluttershy, seemingly consuming her in...whatever it was. It must have sentient, because Hooves could've sworn he heard the words: “My knife, you dirty thief.” At least, something along those lines. And then it had vanished as soon as it had appeared, taking the yellow pegasus with it.

No longer cautious, Doctor Hooves pulled Colgate the rest of the way over the barricade. He then asked repeatedly if she was all right, to which she replied profusely that she was perfectly fine. For the moment, at least, she added quickly, giving him a subtle wink.

“Game over, folks! Red team has won!” The cheery voice of the announcer echoed through the speakers of both ships. “Better luck next time, blues!” Then a slightly hushed tone replaced it, as if by accident. “Those idiot ponies breaking a hole in the boat...send it over to maintenance straight away.”

The thing was: Hooves didn't even mind. It had ultimately given him a chance to get closer to his crush, whose face was positively beaming despite the obvious failure. She wasn't the only one, however - the entire blue team were smiling happily. Even if they hadn't been victorious, they still had oodles of fun losing. Hooves began to smile himself, feeling that Colgate's own was infectious.The doctor wondered why Colgate didn't smile more often. With amazing teeth like that, who-

And then she kissed him.

So, that was that.

Red team had won, Twilight Sparkle had won, and by the looks of things on the other boat, just about everyone won. The purple unicorn looked back at her allies. None of them were smiling as such, but none of them were exactly frowning, either. It had been a long day, so she wasn't surprised, really. Would probably take some time to restore their friendship to what it had been before, but it didn't matter. Time wasn't exactly going anywhere any time soon, so it simply just didn't matter.

Now, it was all over. Home was calling.

Twilight swore to herself that she would never go paintballing again.

-END-

A/N: So, this is the end. Why, aren't you surprised? There's always an end to everything, and the end to this story just so happens to be here. I know - I may have hinted at another chapter, but it just won't be done. Want to write different stuff, you know?

Anyway, this has been a hell of a ride. Fun to write, and fun to hear everyone's comments. On the matter of that, if you haven't already, please do. It's nice hearing feedback and such. I sincerely hope you've enjoyed reading this. See you on the...uh...paint-field? Until then.