Cliché

by Tallow and Port

Rating: teen
Tags: Death, Sad, Main 6, Horror, Gore, Violence, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark
Length: 1080

Just a house on a hill that’s drawn the attention of Celestia.

There is a house on a hill that no one visits.

There is a house on the hill that pulls people closer.

There is a house on the hill that swallows you whole.

There is a house on the hill where you don’t want to go.

Published 2018-03-24 05:10:10 UTC
Last updated 2018-04-11 05:40:53 UTC

Prologue

Author's Note

*braces for impact* I am ready to receive your disgust.

Prologue

In a patch of cool afternoon sun that had snuck its way through the mildly overcast sky, windows occasionally rattling in a passing breeze of pleasantly cold wind; stood a house.

It wasn’t an overly interesting establishment: dull stone walls, red shingled roof, wooden shutters and a plain dark wood door- the basic features of such an object.

As previously stated, a rather plain state of residency; though it did have one strange thing about it.

It was still intact.

Now, that usually wouldn’t be anything to lose sleep over, but in this case it could be.

See, this house was old, no, no, you don’t understand, this house was very old; it had been built by two unicorns.

It stayed standing throughout the reign of discord despite its owners having fled years ago.

It had witnessed the battle of the two sisters from atop its small hill.

It had held against the growth of the Everfree, even when a timber wolf came sniffing.

It had even survived the escape of Tirek.

And now it stood, waiting patiently like a loyal hound, waiting for what? You might ask.

Why, waiting for it’s next owners, of course.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

“There is a house on the hill.

There is a house on the hill, and I don’t like it.

There is a house on the hill and it’s meant to be empty.

There’s a house on the hill, but no one will leave it alone.

There’s a house on the hill and it’s had millions of guests.

There’s a house on the hill and it’s not put to rest.

There’s a house on the hill but it’s guests, they do jest!

For there’s a house on the hill and the people that go there.

Why, they tend to pull pranks that are very... bare.

For they all enter, and on a count.

Scream bloody murder as if all in one shout.

And then presumably run off somewhere unknown.

For every time, just like a clock.

When someone goes looking for the distasteful jokers.

They never show up, not even with the offer of tokers.”

“Um, what’s a toker?” Rainbow Dash asked, fluffing out her wings to protect against the harsh wind of the evening.

“Well, from what I remember of the Equestrian dictionary, it was some sort of old fashioned cigarette that contained hallucinogenic plant matter, usually marijuana.” Twilight replied as she closed the old nursery rhymes book with a muffled bang.

“And even after all these years, you’re still an egghead; glad to know my awesomeness hasn’t rubbed off on you.” The polychromatic maned mare sighed before sitting back in her seat.

“Oh, please! She don’t need no awesomeness, she’s a bloomin’ Alicorn for Celestia’s sake!” Applejack scoffed across from the blue pony “that’s fantastic enough as is!”

“Girls, girls, it’s fine! I’m happy just the way I am, so anything Dash says to try and ruin that isn’t gonna work.” Twilight soothed easily.

The two combatants deflated at her words, slouching to lean over their meals.

“Now, who wants to know why I just told you that tale?” The young Alicorn grinned.

“Oh, Oh! Me! I do!” Pinkie Pie spoke up, fluttershy nodding her head from the sidelines of the outburst.

“Because we’ve been ordered by Celestia herself to go and investigate the house behind the tale!” The princess of friendship squee’d.

An awkward silence fell over the ground, except for pinkie, who merely clapped her hooves together happily.

“Uh, May ah ask... why?” Applejack spoke up, ears flicking uneasily.

“Well, we ARE the bearers of the elements of harmony, and therefore technically work for Celestia as a type of top secret secret secret defence and offence based group of agents that are meant to protect the everyday pony from all harm no other group can handle...” Twilight chuckled awkwardly, tapping her hooves together guiltily “and therefore also technically meant to go and investigate cases like the one in that rhyme just to make sure they’re only a rhyme and nothing more... or something?” She squeaked out, forcing an alarmingly painful looking fake smile across her face as the rest of the group stared at her.

“... um... oh, I say, Twilight! I never realised how marvellous the view could be up this high! Do invite us for tea here more often, won’t you?” Rarity tittered, creating a successful diversion for her distressed friend.

... until pinkie jumped forward “ let’s do it!”

“Wait, what? You’re not mad I didn’t tell you about the specifics of what it means to be an element bearer? And you’re ok with going to a potentially haunted house?” Twilight blinked.

“Oh, don’t be silly, Twi! I can tell you just forgot to mention it by the way you acted. And why wouldn’t I want to walk through a creepy old house?! Wouldn’t it be so cool to meet a real life ghost?!” Pinkie cried, grabbing Twilights cheeks as she went to say something “can you imagine how many birthday parties the ghost has probably missed?! Too many, TwiTwi. Too. Many!”

Twilight paused for a moment, before releasing a chuckle at the pink partiers reason “ok, ok, you can let go of my face now! I believe you.”

“Huh, so the lame story actually led to something that sounds kinda awesome?... Awesome! Let’s go blast some ghost butt!” Rainbow whooped, flaring her wings in a show of confidence.

“Woah, nelly. Let’s just calm down there fer a sec and maybe think about this? How bout we gather round tomorrow or somethin’? Head out to check this place before we decide?” Applejack pulled Dash down and raised an eyebrow.

“Wonderful idea, darling! Now, can we PLEASE get back to our tea, I hate it when I’m left with a cold brew.” Rarity sighed, eyeing her cup.

“I would like to get back to that, too... if it’s ok with everyone?” Fluttershy finally spoke up, absentmindedly stroking a dove that had flown down a while ago; looking slightly pale after the talk of ghosts.

Twilight sighed “ok, ok, enough business talk for now, but we will be doing what AJ suggested tomorrow.”

Everyone nodded, and the afternoon was once again silent and peaceful with only the occasional clink of porcelain or a whisper of wind, sun slowly sinking over the horizon and lighting the sky up with rosy pinks and soft indigos.

Applejack #1

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