A Thousand Livesby NobodyslamentChaptersNew Game?Level One - Magic Libraries and Magic TricksLevel Two - Moon's RaysLevel Three- A Night To RememberBonus Level - Drink DeepLevel Four - Settle in, Saddle upLevel Five - Low PointLevel Six - Spooked HorseLevel Seven - Barracks and ChillLevel Eight - Dream OnBonus Level - The Rising SunLevel Nine - A Night InBonus Level - Dirty DeedsLevel Ten - A View of CanterlotLevel Eleven - Trix of the TradeLevel Twelve - Wake Up CallNew Game?Did you know that zombies suck? No, seriously, my story starts with zombies offering empirical truth they suck. I was crouched behind a desk, as a small horde beat on the door behind me. It was loud. I know that's hardly me being a wordsmith, but I'm not normally a writer. Normally I'm a bad ass bitch, but with m y recent job change that's been a bit harder. I opened my backpack and dug around for a minute. I pulled out a key part, and at least three ribbons before finding a small pistol. Technically I think it was from a few years after I currently was, but dimension hopping makes time a bit less linear. It was a revolver. A Mateba 6, which was about as subtle as a drop kick from Hulk Hogan, but it was also the first gun I could grab. I peeked the corner. I had maybe three minutes, four if the door was reinforced. Or as long as I needed if God loved me. Yeah, right. I pulled out a pocket watch. It was a simple brass thing, that couldn't tell time. Instead it had a much grander purpose. As I inspected the face an imp waved at me behind the glass. He was a small red and black things. All horns and teeth if you get my meaning. I waved back. "How long little buddy?" The imp thought for a moment, before gesturing wildly. That didn't help at all. I shook my head. "Okay, if it's less than three minutes than nod." He nodded. Good, I liked when my pet demons listened. I stood up and decided that my worries might be over. At least until I looked up and saw a skylight. With a zombie on it. Because my days are too easy right before I leave. I brought the pistol up to the skylight and fired once. The window shattered, and the zombie fell. Crashing to the floor. I kept the pistol trained on it for a moment, but after a few seconds I decided it was dead. That was when I made mistake number one. I walked up to the corpse. Keeping the pistol to my side, I poked the zombie. The zombie too k exception to this, and lunged forward, grabbing my hand. Almost exactly like a god damned zombie. I know, expected, but at the same time I was tired. I make bad life choices when I'm sleepy. I screamed and fell on my ass. The zombie began crawling towards me, teeth baring towards my legs. I crawled back, aiming a few desperate kicks at the zombie. I would like to say I kicked him off, escaped, and partied on the beach for my entire life. In actuality I felt my leg pull into a solid white hole. As I tried to back away from the zombie the hole sucked me in. Which basically ended in me sliding towards the hole while scrambling on the ground like a demented crab. However the zombie let go when in my scrambling, a kicked it in the neck. I felt something give, while the zombie recoiled. I then did the only logical thing I could, and dived into the hole. *** Okay, so let's sum up why I did that. So for the past while I've been jumping. Not like up and down, though that isn't uncommon. When I say jumping I mean hopping across the thin and frayed fabric of reality and ending up in new and exciting places. Normally places that are fictional universes I've heard of, but I got used to that pretty fast. Some mage I met explained it was something to due with familiarity, I just chocked it up to a divine being fucking with me and moved on. It wouldn't be unusual at his point. Anyways when I went to a world on a turtles back (I know, don't question it) a surprisingly nice wizard made me am imp powered watch that told me when I would jump. He did it all for the chance for me to teach him how I did magic, which was apparently weird for that world. He called it a "Gross misuse of thaumatergic energies and with all the finesse of our librarian with a banana." which I gathered meant I treated the fundamental fires of creation with all the care and finesse of a sledgehammer. Doubly so when I accounted for the fact their librarian was an orangutan. But that's how I was taught, so no worries. Also I guess I should describe myself. My name changes a lot, but I normally call myself Draitha, at least in my head. I was a young woman, now I don't know what I am. I guess I'm still a young woman, but humans don't jump through dimensions or get to use magic. I was about six feet tall, and used to love reading and movies. Now I enjoy not dying. While that may not be much of a hobby, but for me it offered many opportunities at exercise and new challenges. Plus I didn't have a choice. I have brown hair that I keep to my shoulders, and I normally wear glasses. Though I don't really need them anymore. I have a massive collection of bad habits, and smoke like a chimney when stressed. Past that, well life has been interesting. Long story short, white hole means new game, and an escape from a normally very close call. It also meant I was about to have a fun trip. I had jumped through the hole, and was assaulted with windows. Each one showing a different world, showing so much information my brain couldn't keep up. I saw flashes of wars never ending, demons screaming damnation, and a small child spinning a top. Then the sound came in. Have you ever turned on a tv for background noise? Of course, everyone has. Well imagine if you did that in a building made of speakers, with each speaker playing different sounds at different volumes. If you imagined nothing but pain, then yeah, you win. I held my hands to my ears and tried to ignore it, but mostly I just groaned. At least nothing tried to grab me this time. I felt my feet softly impact the ground as the noise faded into nothing. That meant I was in a new little place, and that I really needed a drink. I counted under my breath for ten seconds. Giving myself time to adjust to whatever would happen when I opened my eyes. I took a deep breath in and opened my eyes. I was in an alley. Normally this was my favorite wake up spot. Secluded, quiet, and above all else, I normally had an escape route. This time was different. This time there was a small horse with me. One that was staring at me like... well like I had just fallen through a small hole in reality with my eyes closed and hands clasped around my ears. Honestly the fear in it's eyes was totally understandable. Okay, so there was a new species in front of me, there was a fair chance it was sentient, and I was first contact. I had options, and diplomacy was the first one on the table. I looked it over. White fur, blue mane. It looked like it took time in it's appearance, and had earrings. They were small, elegant even. I glanced at it's eyes and remembered to avoid them. When my sensei had taught me magic he said to avoid eyes, something about souls and windows. I had never tested it. Okay, diplomacy time. I crouched down in a squat, the horse came to my stomach, and at a squat we were level. I held out a hand and spoke. "I will not eat you." CRASH! And this is why I don't do diplomacy. Most problems I solve have gout's of fire or bullets involved. Normally fire if possible, but half the time big magic is off the menu. Anyways the white horse fainted. I looked at the sprawled form, noticing the three gem tattoo on it's flank. I sighed. "So one unconscious horse later and I'm still lost. Where the hell am I." I peeked out of the alley, and saw a children's fantasy had thrown up all over this world. Pastel and neon everywhere, walking ponies, and fucking giant tree buildings. "Oh, I'm in cartoon hell. Alrighty then." I ducked back into the alley fully and looked at my new friend. Who was slowly waking up. I looked around before lying down beside it. After I saw the eyelids flutter I waited. The horse stood up and stared at me. "Oh, so that wasn't a dream." I nodded. "Nope, sorry for the scare." That was apparently the wrong thing to say as she froze again. To be fair I don't think there was a correct thing to say. I quickly showed my hands. "Look, no weapons, I'm just lost. Please don't faint again." The pony's freeze paused, and she raised a hoof to her mouth. "Your right of course. Falling again might horribly mess up my mane. And I just got it right." She smiled at me. "Though you could use a makeover dear. That outfit is just so plain." I couldn't really be offended, solid olive fatigues were hardly interesting. "I wonder if I could make something like...." She began mumbling about different fabrics. I let her, I may have all the social grace of a small nuclear warhead, but even I knew a weird situation would make you default to something familiar. After a few minutes of chattering she looked back at me sheepishly. I talked before she could try and rant about fashion again. "All I want is a library." My stomach grumbled. "And food, a lot of food. Gods my last trip had like, none." The horse stared at me. "Well I am Rarity, and I think I can fix all your troubles. Follow me please." With that she turned to the building beside me. Which was a carousel. Don't ask, I have no answers. This whole world is fucking crazy. She opened a small door that I ducked through behind her. The roof was high enough that I didn't hit my head. It was a near thing though. I looked around. I was in a dress shop. Or at least a clothing store. I saw half finished outfits on small horse mannequins, and a few finished ones near blackboards with numbers and sketches on them. Rarity turned and flashed me another winning smile. "Now, before I can get somepony to help you I need a name. I can't exactly call you an it and be okay with it. Why, the thought alone is unbearable." Ha, pony. No longer must I call these pastel crimes against camo horses. This was the first challenge. I hated going by my name, it was dangerous. Names had power. Even if I mostly used a pseudonym, I had used it enough that it still had power. I shrugged. "Dunno, I've gone by so many I couldn't tell you. Just throw a name at me and I'll take it." Rarity paused at that, before vehemently shaking her head. "No, that won't do at all. A creature like yourself must have a name. Come on now." At this she walked up and hit me with the most effective puppy dog eyes I had ever seen. Before she said one word. "Please?" Goddamn magic words. "Fine. Draitha." Rarity looked at me confused. "I'm Draitha. It's what I go by the most anyways." I saw a couch. I walked up to it and flopped down. "I guess it will do at least. And please don't ask for my true name, it's... well it's private." Rarity nodded. "Of course, a mare must keep her secrets." I paused, and stared. Okay, mare meant girl, so she knew I was a girl. She sounded like this was a joke, so she was a mare. Now the obvious question, how? I couldn't tell gender of new species easily, and despite my more, erm, obvious feature, my fatigues didn't exactly compliment my figure. Rarity seemed to see my questions. "Dear, if I couldn't mark you as a mare from your walking alone I would barely be a lady. A lady must always know who she is talking to." I shrugged. It wasn't the most outlandish thing I had heard. I looked at her. "Yeah, uhh, you need anything else? I could pick up this place or something if you needed some help." I hated debts, worked with the fae a few to many times. Well only once, but it teaches a lesson quick. And it was at least eight more times than I wanted to work with them anyways. Rarity paused and shook her head. "I could never accept help from somepony in such need as you. No, if you could find the time to stand on the podium over there in a bit though, I would be most appreciative." I nodded and tried to get up before a hoof to the chest stopped me. It was surprisingly hard. "Not now you. I have to go grab a friend who can give you a helping hoof." I managed to hide my laugh. Pony puns, I loved it. Rarity didn't seem to notice. "But you get to sit down and relax, don't think I haven't seen that gash on your hand. When you do get up you'll find some cupcakes in the kitchen down the hall." I managed to hide my shock as she grabbed a few things and gave me a few rules. Mostly stay in this room, and don't mess with her sister if she came home. I stayed sitting for as long as it took for me to be fairly sure she was gone and flipped out my pocket watch. I glanced at the imp who gave me a thumbs up. He was an ugly little thing, but he was so sweet. "Hey bud, how long?" He looked around the watch for a moment before pulling a small piece of paper from out of view and writing down. He flipped it to me. All it said was A really long time. I sighed, if he didn't even have a year marker it must have been over ten years. That was the highest he could count and he normally rounded to the nearest thing he knew. So, long stay. The longest before this had been four years. Granted Chicago was nice, but I think I was done with it by the time I left. Plus that was where the fae were probably still looking for me. I stood up, making my way to the pedestal. As I stood on it I had a nightmare come to life. All the tailor's equipment came to life, and started measuring me. I felt tools whirl around me in a Kansas level tornado. I really wanted to scream, but I saw scissors in the corner that I didn't want to wake up. I took a moment to calm down, and watched that fail horribly. Okay, list time. What? When I get stressed I make lists. So, magic was real here. That meant I get my own magic. Cool. Two, sentient ponies, that was weird, but not horrible. Three, magic tailors are scary. There, a full list that had only one useful fact. Great. I watched the tools slow down, before a piece chalk wrote down numbers that I assumed were my measurements, and the rest of the tools dropped into their little homes. Okay, not dead, good start. I pulled my bag off my shoulders. and pulled open the top flap. I stared at the ever-widening hole that was an infinity sack. it was honestly my most prized tool. One thing from every world, a living scrapbook. I reached in and thought of my wizard gear, before pulling out an over the shoulder bag. Inside it was a collection of jewelry, and a hat. It was a beanie, custom made by yours truly. The stitching itself was in a runic design, with magic flowing through it. Granted it didn't do much besides a small high speed force-field for catching bullets, and ear protection, and a hearing enhancer. Okay maybe it did a lot more than I gave it credit for. I put on all the jewelry, which amounted to a ton of cheap copper and silver rings, and a single gold band. By the end of it I had a ring on each finger, and my thumbs mercifully bare. I opened another pocket and smiled. The last piece was an old charm bracelet. Sensei said my shield charms had to make me think of protectors, and barely questioned my choice of various different charms from my pack. It was a great gift. I channeled some energy into a ring, and felt it automatically channel into my open wound. I grimaced as I felt the skin knit back together into it's healthy shape. But at the end my hand was fine, not even a scar was left. I tossed the beanie up in my other hand and put it on, before glancing at myself in a mirror. I was still wearing my GI Joe stuff, and the beanie looked stupid with it, but I still felt like a total tool. I started diving back into my pack. I paused as my stomach rumbled again. Okay, new priorities. Food, then clothing. I peeked out of the back room, and saw that the coast was clear. With only a small amount of exploration I found a kitchen, with a lone cupcake on the table. I picked it up with all the reverence such a holy treat deserved. I slowly unwrapped the bottom, and took a lone, delicate bite. I don't think I could properly explain the orgasmic state the baked good put me in from a single bite, but the rest of the cupcake was sacrificed to make the feeling stretch. I let out a breath and smiled. "Oh yeah, I owe this girl big time." I made it back to the back room, and resumed my mission. I dived into my pack, looking through all my clothes in the makeshift void of magical hammer space. My search was interrupted as I heard a crash behind me. I normally would have turned to look at it, but I was waist deep in a knee high blue bag. As I pulled myself out I heard a voice behind me. "No way, no way can that thing fit in there. Oh, Celestia is gonna have so many questions. I bet Discord did this, one last prank before we sealed his happy butt in stone." I fully retreated, and look at that, a lavender unicorn. After talking ponies this didn't phase me. I was holding my bags prize in my hand. The unicorn stared. "Oh, it did fit." There was a pause as she stared, and then a glow enveloped my bag, pulling it towards the unicorn. "HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE!" Now, I'm super protective of very few things. My bag is one. I dived across the room, tackling my bag to the floor. I reached for my Mateba, and felt an empty pocket. Shit. It was still in zombie world. I looked at the unicorn. "Nobody. Touches. The. Bag." The unicorn stared at me. Then at the bag. Then back to me. "So it really can speak..." I nodded and opened the bag. I reached in, dropping off the clothes. I then thought of a weapon. That wasn't specific enough, and I felt a wall of metal and hard edges. I took a few deep breaths, and thought specifically. Defensive, quiet, pistol or blade. I felt fewer objects before feeling a smooth grip. I smiled and pulled out a pistol. A custom R51. A normally shitty pistol, but it looked cool. It was already in a holster, which I clipped to my belt. I drew the pistol and kept it by my side. The unicorn stared some more. "Okay. I'm Twilight Sparkle. Uhm, sorry about the bag." I nodded, keeping the pistol in my hand. "Yeah, just don't mess with it. It's... kind of important to me. Anyways I'm going to assume Rarity sent you." Twilight nodded. "Yes, she told me a strange thing named Draitha popped up looking dreadful and needing information. Then she fainted on my couch and said she'd drop by in a moment." I looked at her. Purple looking hair, pink streak, and lots of words. Yeah, weird. Moving on. I sat back down on the couch and checked over the pistol. After a moment of silence Twilight spoke. "So, uhm, what are you?" I smiled. It must have been scary, because Twilight backed away as I stood. I debated giving her a quiet answer, but wizards are allowed to be scary mysteries sometimes. I stood tall, gun in one hand as I hoisted my bag over my shoulder. "I am the Nightingale, the speaker of Sithis. I am the Lone Wanderer, and the sole survivor." I stood as tall as possible, and channeled energy into my rings and hat, giving them a large glowing field. "I am a wielder of the fires of creation. There is no creature like me in all the realms. Though you, you may know me as Draitha, the wanderer." As I said the last bit I fell to my knee and held a hand out to her. Yeah, I'm a total nerd, live with it. Twilight tapped it, which I assumed was a handshake and I stood up. Twilight looked mildly annoyed at me. "None of that answered my questions." She stomped a hoof on the floor. Adorable. I smirked. "I'm a wizard, I can be as mysterious as I want. Especially when someone tries to take my bag." I stuck out my tongue. I was a mature adult, and no one who debated that fact was around to prove me wrong. Twilight got no opinion as she was a pony. Twilight seemed to blush a bit before before trying to straighten her mane with a hoof. "Uhm, yeah. I guess I got a bit excited. Anyways I was told to take you to the library. I don't think a pleasant walk would end well though. The town can be kind of... skittish." I nodded. "So whats the plan? Flying, tunneling? Oh, I really like the idea of actually sneak-" And then my insides felt like I just turned into a black hole. My vision went black as I felt myself turn into pure energy. I then saw colors. So many colors. I was also throwing up. I held myself up with my knees before I heard a voice. "Dear, you did warn her of the teleport. Right?" I heard Twilight. "Ehehe, whoops?" Gods I could feel the blush. Then I collapsed on the floor. Author's Note So chapter one is up, and I'm already working on chapter two. I've been in a huge slump, so hopefully this is what I need to break out. Feel free to comment. I love feedback, and friends. If anyone wants to give me a hand writing I'd love having fresh eyes on my stuff. Aight, deuses. I honestly have no clue how to spell that. Crap, to late now. Roll with it. Level One - Magic Libraries and Magic TricksI felt consciousness coming back. I took stock before opening my eyes. The floor I was on was very comfy. After a few probing finger pokes I deduced I was on a cubic butt load of pillows. I also heard voices, which matched Twilight the bag thief, and Rarity the magic pony. And those thoughts alone made me want to go back to sleep. I muddled through and participated in my favorite past time. Eavesdroppimg. "Now Twilight, I think she would be less than pleased if you took it for even a moment. From what you said she is rather protective of it." Damn right you beautiful pony. Now what are you talking about? I heard Twilight next. "But it's just a scan. I doubt she'd even notice. Besides if I could figure out that spell just imagine what I could do with it. I could send packages with more mass than a normal teleport allowed all the way to Canterlot." Rarity paused. "Well, I doubt she would agree. So the argument is moot." Okay. So I'm guessing they were talking about my bag. Good on the white pony And that's when I felt a damn pull on my bag. I drew my pistol from it's holster, surprised to find it there. I pointed it in the general direction of Twilight's voice, and tried to say. "THIS is my backup wand." Unfortunately my jaw seemed to barely work. So I actually said something like. "urrgh rah bacguhhh wand." Needless to say, this did not have the best result. But my bag remained in my hands, so victory was mine. I blearily sat up and looked around. Okay, wooden library. Check. Magic ponies. Check. Both were unicorns. Huh, didn't notice Rarity's horn last time. Ah well. Check. Nodding once I turned to Twilight, pistol lowering slightly. "I thought I said you don't touch the bag?" Twilight began stammering. "W-well, I-I..." Her ears flattered. "Sorry. But whatever spell let's you slip into it is so amazing. Just learning how to cast it could improve pony life. Just imagine packing your house for a full move and fitting your whole bed in a small bag. It's amazing." My God, I could see her running equations in her head. I shrugged. Being honest would probably be the best option to dissuade her. "Yeah, and imagine the wonder when somebody messes up the inside and blowing an unknown area into a scarred wasteland." Twilight stopped her equations and stared at me. I continued. "Or maybe if somebody was stupid enough to mess with the spell, then anything in the sack will fly out at a ludicrous speed. And with the stuff in here specifically.... Well it's gonna need a real good clean up crew for us." I smiled, and I'm fairly certain it wasn't nice. Twilight thought of this. Then Rarity took a few steps back. Then Twilight took a few steps back. Then I laughed. Hard. I saw Twilight stare, and Rarity damn near flinched away. Before seeing my gun fully lower as I tried to hold my gut. Rarity stepped back forward. "You absolute barbarian. That bag wouldn't really do that, would it?" She was grinning at me like I was a madwoman. She wasn't wrong. I smiled. "Of course it would, but I doubt you guys could get it to. Nah mostly it just has everything I know and love and would probably go insane if anyone messed with it." Rarity paused, her smile fading. But Twilight seemed to catch a second wind. "Wait, everything you own is in there?" I nodded, and began holding my bag closer. "Why don't you keep them at home?" Damn. Now I felt sad again. I dug a hand in the bag, holding a finger up with my gun hand. I pulled out a small blue plush. It was stitch, from Lilo and Stictch. Time for an object lesson. "You see this?" Both ponies nodded. "This is the only thing left from my home." Not technically a lie. Also not the full truth, but y'know. "The rest of it is... well I can't go back." I shrugged. "I've been gone so long I don't think it would matter anyways. I've probably already been declared dead, and I've got nothing waiting for me." I held the stitch close. After a moment I holstered the pistol and held it with both hands. The ponies were mercifully quiet for a moment while I finished my hug. Then I shoved it back in the bag and shook my head. At that Twilight spoke. "Oh." Well, that about summed it up. I just sat down. I normally held the story time off until I was facing a god or some other dramatic event. Doing it now ruined future dramatic tension. Damnation and Hellfire. Telling it to a bunch of ponies as part of conversation was not something I was prepared for. The moment ended as a fucking lizard walked down the stairs. Alone I probably wouldn't have flinched. When it burped and fire came out I jumped back. "Jesus Christ. That lizard shoots fire." The lizard looked at me. Then to a sad Twilight, then to a disturbed Rarity. He then shook his head and turned around. "Nope, this dreams to weird. I'm gonna finish my nap." I stared as he walked back the stairs. I heard the soft click of a door and a soft thump. I understood his thought process. Okay, ignoring the talking lizard I turned back to Twilight. "Anyways, I'm stuck here for a while, so if you wouldn't mind giving me a hand?" Twilight nodded slowly. "Well, I know I can arrange a place for you to stay, but we'll need to introduce you to town first. I guess first step would be to introduce you to my friends. Our word carries enough weight that if we all vouch for you the town should calm down about it. The only problem is getting you around." I saw a soft glow enveloped her horn before a petite hoof whacked her on the back of the head. "Dear, do not teleport this poor girl again. I don't think it agree's with her" Whoo, points for the marshmallow unicorn. I smiled and thought over looking for some in my pack, but decided against it. Marshmallows were for special occasions. Rarity continued. "Maybe ask her what she would do?" I smiled. "Gimme a minute and lead the way. I bet money no one will see me while we go where we're going. That includes you though." I dug through my pack and pulled out a skintight suit. It didn't cover my head, but I already had a little tool for that. My smile widened. "Where can I change?" It only took me minute to change. Also pony bathrooms look a lot like human ones. I put my jewelry on over the suit, and then grabbed a small hood. It was a keepsake now, gift from a friend and all that. It had a different name inscribed on it, but that was my life. I walked out and looked at the ponies. "So lets go." Twilight looked ready to ask a question as I raised the hood. The question was strangled as soon as I blinked out of existence. Well maybe that was an overstatement, but I did turn invisible. Both ponies began to frantically look around. I giggled. Twilight's eyes zeroed in on my location. "You can turn invisible? What type of mage are you?" I shook my head, which didn't have any effect. Damn invisibility. "No magic here. Just good old fashioned ingenuity. Just don't ask me how it works. I think some inventor made some evil deal with a computer or something." I could see more questions jumping out of her, but she managed to contain them. Though I thought she literally had to swallow them down. Rarity tapped her on the shoulder. I saw the door open nearby with her magical glow. "Come now Twilight, I think that Fluttershy needed us for something." Ooohh, pony subterfuge. Excellent. I walked slowly as they left, no sound escaping from my body. I may have been the best at blowing my problems away with wild abandon, but sometimes sneakily doing it was necessary, and I considered myself a master in all forms of explosive entrances. When they happened from an unexpected angle was even better. I followed them as they offered up badly coded small talk. Hell, they even called me their new friend, or bag colt. I almost lost my cool a couple times. I mean it was so obvious! Who talks like that? I moved silently, commenting in my head about the area. Mostly about ponies. They had freaking pegasi just floating around in the open. Oh, and I was pretty sure I saw a minotaur duck into a shop. Jesus this was weird. We slowly walked out of town, and I saw a small cottage coming into view. And that's when it all went wrong. Rarity and Twilight didn't notice, but with my beanie shoved on I could hear whimpering from the forest to our right. I thought of telling them, and decided it would cause a scene. I looked and saw the cottage was the last thing before the forest seemed to envelope the horizon. So I had a little rally point. I looked towards the woods where the whimpering came from, before slowly walking in. These woods were thick. I could see the various roots and leaves turning the ground into a nightmare for sneaking. I looked up at the trees and shook my head. The branches looked dead, so no clue if they'd support my weight. I proceeded as quietly as possible, and saw a pony in the clearing. It was a soft green in color, and had a lyre on the flank. The mane looked like a mint color, but I couldn't be sure with all the mud in it. There was also a horn. More unicorns. Cool. I walked up and poked her. Look I'm about as far from a doctor as you can find for official medical practice. Everything I've learned is on the spot fixes. I leaned over and whispered in the ponies ears. "Are you alive?" The pony screamed. I dived down as she looked around. "Who's there?" I sighed. "Gimme a sec. First, are you hurt?" The pony sighed. It was long suffering, and I was liking her more for it. "Yes, I've got a broke hoof, rear left. The bone broke skin." She said it clinically, like she knew what she had. She also said it painlessly, and in sing song. Paranoia mode engaged fully. I walked slowly up. "Alright. I'm not gonna show myself til I've healed you up. Just warning you, if this is a trap, well it wont end pretty." She didn't talk, though she did begin humming a tune under her breath. I saw the wound she was talking about, and it was kinda brutal. I clicked my tongue. "This'll hurt, like a lot. Sorry." The pony shook her head. "Nah, I managed to drink my pain numbing potion. But now I don't remember how to walk. I think I wasn't supposed to drink the whole thing." I paused and stared at her. "On the upside though. I feel really good right now. I smirked. One high pony was worth this distraction. As I said I wasn't a doctor, but my various magic spells couldn't reset a bone. I touched the bone. It was a fairly clean break. I grabbed the hoof and instantly put it down. I looked around and found a branch. I moved it to her head. "Bite down on this." She did without comment, though the humming didn't stop. I then re-grabbed the hoof. After a moment I put a steadying hand on the fetlock. I then pulled, and heard a sickening crack from the bone popping into place. I heard a strangled scream from the unicorn in front of me. I stared, there was still a large hole in her, but luckily we were now within my magic territory. "Okay friend, lets get you fixed up." She resumed humming a tune as I channeled energy. As soon as I tried I felt the ambient magic of the world hit me like a train. I could probably start shooting off fireballs like a fucking flamethrower. I smiled. I loved magic. I let the magic flow through me, and felt happy, heal-y thoughts. I saw a nice green glow coming from where my hands would be. I pressed them to the winds and whispered. "Cura Vitae" And the glow transferred to the unicorns fetlock. In case you were curious, I've never seen a wound heal that was pretty. I'll spare you the descriptors, but let's just say that it's disgusting. Sensei couldn't do this kind of thing, and honestly I wasn't great at it, but I had learned several shortcuts. I wiped of my brow, which now held a slight sheen of sweat, and smiled. "Okay, you're all healed up." The unicorn looked at me vacantly, before I remembered I was still invisible. This didn't seem to bother it though. "Heyyyyy, if you could grab my antidote from the bag that's be nice. Without the pain I'm just super loopey right now." I nodded and looked around. A lone bag was on the floor. I fished out a few vials, only one of which had a liquid in it. I gently poured it down her throat. As soon as it was all gone she shook her head. Then she looked around. "Wait, the buck!" She jumped up and looked around. "Hey, at least let me thank you." I giggled again. Two in one day, my reputation as a hard-assed killer of men might take a dive. "I'm still here, look at my voice." She did, and I lowered my hood. Now I'm not beautiful. To many scars and dings to count. And about a hundred broken noses. I looked like a slashed barbie with a hook nose. However she stared like I was an angel. With the hood lowered the full stealth field lowered. I towered over the small unicorn as she stared in a mixture of horror and joy. And then she passed out. "Damnit, why do ponies keep doing that?" I picked her up over my shoulder. I was happy she wasn't to heavy, and her bag wasn't either. I flipped my head around like a dying fish, until my hood was up before jogging to the cottage. I arrived at a scene of odd serenity. Twilight was talking to a door. "Now Fluttershy, I sent Rainbow Dash with a note to the Princess, so she'll be by shortly. And besides, I'm pretty sure she's a nice creature. Just come out and I'm sure she'll come out soon. Honestly she might have been spooked by that thing with the bear." Oh I had missed a party. I coughed slightly and Twilight turned around. Then she screamed. "FLOATING PONY"!!" I shook my head, laughing. After slowly putting Lyra down, I lowered my hood. "Sorry heard a pony whimpering, she was messed up, so I helped her out." My story seemed to only confuse Twilight more, but I shrugged. She walked over to Lyra before grimacing. "Oh Celestia. You had to find the one pony who was as weird as Pinkie?" I had begun digging around in my bag, looking for a pack of smokes. What, I have bad habits, it's allowed. While I grabbed one I gave a half-hearted grunt. "What's a Pinkie?" I flipped out the pack and lit a smoke with a finger. Gods I loved magic. Then a pink god damned pony jumped out from my bag. "I'm a Pinkie!!" I fell on my ass, scrambling from my bag. "JESUS ON A FUCKING PIKE!!" Now I know what your thinking, but honestly I had had a few close encounters with shit in my bag. I had accidentally hatched some crab things that charged out when I tried to make an omelette. This was the officially prescribed reaction. Granted I didn't have a rifle, so I didn't spray her with suppressive fire, but it probably would have ended poorly anyways. I say suppresive fire, because I rarely hit anything panic shooting. I stood up, facing the Pink horror as she walked out of my bag, and lowered herself to all fours. "wow, that place was way roomier than I thought." She dusted herself off, and then dug a hoof around in her mane. I would probably have set phasers to snark, but I was currently blinded by the utter singularity of pink in front off me. She found what she was looking for, and held out a small box to me. "I haven't had time for a full party yet, but have this." I took it and flipped the lid. A cupcake sat in the box. I smiled. Sweets were nice. Especially if they taste as good as the first. Then the pink horror bounced in place. "YAY, now I get to plan a welcome to Ponyville party and a new friend party." I was about to comment as Pinkie seemed to pause in mid air. "Wait... I also have to plan a party for Luna, she's gonna be here in." She glanced at a bare hoof and ran off. I glanced at the pink monstrosity, to find she was gone. "Well, that was eventful." Twilight looked at me and nodded. I took a moment to process everything that just happened finding my sanity wanting I decided to point to the green pony. "Fix that, I'm gonna go grab some stuff." I picked up my bag and looked around. "Where's a table?" So the only table was inside. And after Twilight convinced Fluttershy I wasn't going to eat her I was allowed in on the condition of being nice to a pegasus. Which I could totally do. I sat on the floor in front of a table, with a small collection of nick knacks. I looked over at a light that I had hooked to a battery. A small picture of fluffy, my former pet, was taped to it. I gently touched it before looking down at the various stuff on the table. There was a lightsaber, that was broken. I had always hoped to fix it, though it was probably best I didn't. A small energy pistol with about four shots left. Then the actual gadget I was working on. It was a small spider made out of clockwork, that was currently jammed into ball mode. I picked it up and took a screwdriver to a piece of rust in the leg assembly. After scraping it off I glanced at my tool box. I knew a gear was missing, but with my ever expanding spare parts I could probably jury rig it. The problem was I needed a very small drill bit to get it into place. As I reached over I heard a small voice behind me. "Who's that cute little guy?" I turned to face Fluttershy, staring at fluffy's picture. He had been a wolf. He came almost to my chest, and had a solid grey coat. He was also a vicious beast who only listened to me, but I loved him. He was the most cuddly. "That was Fluffy. He was my friend, a long time ago." I smiled and touched the picture again. I totally didn't have to stop a lone tear, I'm to scary for that. Fluttershy definitely noticed I was sad though. "Oh no, what happened to him?" I sighed. "I was leaving. It happens, I can't stop it. But he knew it was coming. Right before I did we were attacked. Some crazy zealots from some cult I had messed up. Anyways they jumped us as I was finishing up packing and manged to fire a shot." I pointed to my chest, where a small scar was hidden under my suit. "He jumped in front of it. It tore through him, but after that the shot didn't kill me. Then I left. After that though, I really wished I didn't." I rubbed the spot where I had taken the round. Before I heard a sniffle. "So he died?" I nodded. "Yeah. he died to save me. He's one of..." I began thinking. "Three things I have pictures of. Him, my sensei, and some angel who bound a photo to my soul. But he was cool enough I let him." I shook off my sad miasma. "Anyways he was the best boy, no denying." I pulled out my tool kit and grabbed all my drill bits. Fluttershy didn't move, but she didn't speak. I slowly made a semi fitting gear out of spare parts, and jammed it in with the drill bit. I heard the snap as it locked in place. The spider unrolled turning into it's eight legged form. I smiled at it. "Alright creepy. You feel better?" He bobbed his head as Fluttershy gasped. I heard her back away, which creepy seemed to stare at. I snapped at him. "Hey man, I need focus." He seemed to glare as much as his little ruby eyes would let him. It was almost cute. I looked over his brass body before smiling. "Girls, I'm going out back. I'll be back in a second." I looked at my unfinished smoke before grabbing it. A quick hand gesture saw Creepy crawling up my arm and perching on my shoulder. I heard a little gasp from behind me. I ignored it and walked outside. The backyard of Fluttershy's cottage was an animal preserve. Not in some ethereal way, like a literal actual preserve. I saw a bear freaking wave at me. I looked over at creepy and nodded. "Full check little buddy. Make sure your back up to snuff." I heard a happy click as he rolled down my arm in a little ball. I felt energy snap around me. I smiled. It had been to long since an obvious ambush. Thinking and looking I saw no more animals. It was also now utterly silent. I loved it when the bad guys made it so I didn't have to worry about collateral. I tried not to clue in my attacker, leaning on my side up against a wall. I took a lazy drag as Creepy went around pulling odd movements and jumping around. I nodded towards him. "Recognition sensor too little bit. I know you hate it." He glared and chirped. He did it over and over until the chirps did an approximation of hello, before glancing at me. It did it's job as a small click came from behind me. I smirked and reached into my pack as nonchalantly as possible. Granted with my normal lack of subterfuge I was muttering various spells under my breath, but hey, I didn't blow up the ground behind me without looking. Who said I couldn't play nice? By the time I gripped a small flashbang I felt the blade lightly touch the back of my suit. "Shit, and here I am without a blade to poke you with." There was a pregnant pause, and a voice as quiet as the night wind seemed to emanate behind me. That wasn't me using fancy words, it seemed to move like a natural force instead of a voice. "Thou willst remove Thine hand from the bag, creature." I paused a moment. Anything that seemed to talk in ways that seemed godlike wasn't the thing to flashbang and run. But I wasn't known for wise decisions anyways. "Sure, you want a water?" She paused as I withdrew my hand and put my thumb through the pin. I also pulled my bag up my shoulder so I had it on my back. I held up the flashbang. "You know what this is?" I saw a faint midnight glow surround the flashbang, and then leave it. "It is of no concern. But thou art an unknown, and as such we must scry your intentions with all due caution. Thou wilst turn and allow us to read thine mind." I turned slowly, which she appeared to allow. And then I saw a freaking goddess. It was also a pony with wings and a horn, but the power rolling off her was unreal. I still wasn't going to back down though. No one expects a sucker punch when they obviously outclass you. I smiled at her. "You know, I don't like people in my head, how about I do a magic trick instead?" She slowly raised a second sword with magic, as if challenging my joke. I just kept my smile going. "I bet, I can make this thing explode without a single spell." Now she looked a bit more interested, and stared at the device. I jangled it. "It's a little toy I have, bet it'll make us both laugh." With that I pulled the pin and dropped it. In the goddesses defense, she covered it in a shield as soon as it dropped. I used this distraction to raise my hood, and as I turned invisible I tapped the hood once, turning myself blind and deaf for four seconds. I waited it out, and when my senses returned the goddess was flailing. Eyes closed and ears flat. I worked fast, picking up creepy and drawing a pistol and pointing it at her. It took three seconds for the goddess to recover, which was actually more time than I thought it would. She turned to me with rage in her eyes, until she saw I was holding something at her. She paused, staring at me. I waved with my free hand. "So if you're done doing the whole interrogation thing, let's talk." I gestured with the pistol. "I really don't want to use this, but I really don't like dying either. So..." I let the sentence hang as I brought the pistol back on her a moment. I then gestured at the sword. "On the count of three, I lower my toy, you lower yours." This plan had never worked, but hope springeth eternal. The goddess surprised me by lowering her own swords before a countdown even began, and she smirked at me. "It has been a millennia since somepony has even been half as fun as thou." She looked me over. "And thou have a brain." I took the compliment. I also lowered my gun. I gestured to Creepy. "Hey little man, get in the side pocket." Which he happily did. He was barely sentient, but he could sense power with that little magical core he had. He also had enough brain to not mess with anything powerful enough to turn small nations to dust. As he climbed up my leg Luna stared. I smiled. "Now then, let's start the talk with some rules. I won't try anymore fancy tricks, if you don't try to read my mind like a children's book. Deal?" The Goddess nodded. "Very well Ms. Draitha." I froze at the use of my name, which she definitely caught. "And you may call us Princess Luna." I swore, her grin was more predatory than any other creature I'd seen. I rolled my eyes, what had I gotten myself into with this pony shit. Author's Note Two chapters, one day. Whew I'm tired. Well, work beckons so I'll try to catch a few Z's, have a wonderful day. Previous offer for writing help is still open. Level Two - Moon's RaysSo apparently I had gotten myself into tea time with a goddess. This was actually a first. The closest thing before this was some rushed Burger King with a fae lady. Granted that had been a day and a half on it's own, but it hardly matched a legit garden tea time. I looked over the recently materialized table. "So do you conjure tables often, or is it just a party trick?" Luna smiled and wave at Fluttershy, who was trying to meekly sneak a peek while brewing tea. "No, tis..." She scrunched up her face for a moment. "It is just a teleportation spell. I always have tea on this table. No exceptions. The table is somewhat special." I looked it over. It was dark midnight blue, with stars spelling our Luna's name. Though expertly made, the stars looked like Luna's name was written in a child's handwriting. In all it's scratchy, uneven glory. I tried to fathom why, but shelved it as Luna looked ready to barrage me with questions. "Princess, if I may, I have a standard protocol when dealing with beings at your level." Luna quirked an eyebrow. "You have dealt with beings like us before?" I nodded. "And a few that could blow you out of the water, then drink the water you were in because you weren't enough of a snack." Yeah, the demon king from a while ago could eat her alive. So glad he was stupid. "Anyways we play a game. You get a question, I get a question. We can not answer if we please, but no one can lie." I reached into my pack and thought of one specific tool. "This will beep if we lie." I pulled out a small star. A healthy fireball that didn't burn my skin. I placed it in the middle of the table. "Here's where the game part is. If we don't lie, but don't tell the full truth, the star will flash. So we can use more questions to ferret out straight answers. First one to lie losses." She smiled at the little star. "Do you not trust the word of a princess?" I nodded again. "I don't trust anyone really, especially when they could turn me into pocket lint with a spare thought. besides." I smiled back at her. "Do you really trust me?" She let out a laugh. One. Single laughs are always creepy. "Ha. No, I do not, but you seem suitably cautious. I shall ask the first question then." I nodded and leaned back in my stool, balancing it on two legs. "What was that thing you dropped. It wasn't magical at all, but that noise..." Ohh, somebody was jealous. "A flashbang grenade, no matter what I answer the star will pulse for anything less than a full technical read out, so why don't I let you play with one?" She nodded and I scooped one out of the bag. I had a fair collection of them anyways, so even if she took it there wasn't a huge loss. "Don't pull the little circle. That's what activates it." I passed it across the table and dropped it in front of Luna. "My turn now. How easily can I ensure I never get ambushed by you again?" Luna chuckled at this. "A simple question, though if sparring with you is that fun you can't. However if you don't want me to actually stab you then not hurting ponies is a good start." The star pulsed slightly, and Luna stared. I smirked. "Playing things close to the chest princess? Your turn then." She nodded, while staring at the the star. "What, is that?" She pointed at the star with a hoof, as if it offended her godlike power. I chortled a bit. It was dark and mysterious, really. Totally not a girly giggle. "That's a North Star. It's something a friend of mine cooked up. Basically it's a light that had some fancy lie detector built in, but it uses some spells that make it basically tamper proof. He called it the North star because it will never guide you wrong." It was clunky, but I said everything, and the star didn't pulse. I smiled. "Now then, how likely am I to be able to get a home and a job anywhere in this world?" Luna took a moment to process this. While she did that I looked towards the door. Fluttershy was staring at me again, and I waved. Besides asking about fluffy she hadn't talked to me at all. I was fairly certain I scared her. As I rightly should. However, Rarity was walking out the door with tea, and was not quaking in her boots. My reputation as a fearsome killer in combat was not known to these colorful ponies, and their lack of fear nearly hurt my feelings. I waited as Rarity brought up some tea. She smiled and poured me a glass. "Sugar for you dear?" I nodded my head. "A ton of it please. I like sweet tea." She nodded and poured in a fair amount. No where near as much as I was used to, but I wasn't going to ask for more. As she looked ready to speak, Luna cut her off. "You may find a job and home easily enough. Once we finish your interview we must ascertain if you truly are just trying to make a life, then we'll decide how best to acclimate you." The star flashed again, Luna glared. I however smiled. I flipped my little detective switch. Mostly because she had said we. now she talked all prim and pretty until tea time, so a lesser woman would have assumed she was slipping back, but I knew what you did to try and sneak past the North Star. I had another interview. Thinking over the days reaction I thought of who all knew I was there. I remembered walking up to the cottage. Twilight said she had sent a letter to princess Celestia. Bingo. Now all I had to do was wait my turn. Luna grumbled. "Just how much info does this little star want?" I knew that wasn't her question, but that's how the game is played. "Only the full truth." I smiled as she glanced back up at me, then realized that she had asked her question. Pony pouts are adorable by the way. "My turn, when's my interview with Celestia?" It was cruel to wait for her first sip of tea, but the spit take was all the revenge I needed. She dabbed her face with a napkin. "Well, I assume the game is that you know the answers?" I smiled wide, taking a sip of my own tea, which was honestly pretty good. "Nope, the game is figuring out the right questions. That one was a freebie by the way. Now, I ask again, When do I meet Celestia?" Luna smirked. "I was right, you are most fun. She is due to meet you this evening, when day court is finished. And since you have so kindly explained the game I shall also release that I was here to decide whether or not you should get the chance to meet her." I nodded, made perfect sense, though Rarity's face, and her sudden backing towards the door made it seem more outrageous. Luna took a much more careful sip. "Do you plan on harming any of our subjects?" So, any pony you may meet in your travels, no matter how unlikely, will never tell you one thing. Humans laughing is apparently terrifying. And any response of sprinting away, or swords being pointed at you is to be expected. I only learned this after falling out of my chair, and then having Luna baring a frankly enormous amount of swords at me while screaming about my war cry. I think it has something to do with the teeth. After I finally recovered and lightly brushed the blades away I recovered my stool. "Nah, I hate hurting things. At least as long as they don't deserve it." The North Star pulsed. Traitorous bastard. Luna looked at it, but knew I had to be telling most of the truth. Then she smiled. Somebody was finally learning the game. She gestured to my seat. "Well then, I believe it is your turn." I nodded and tried one of the small cookies the princess brought with the table. Oatmeal raisin. I stared at it. I don't know how long, but it was long enough for Luna to get antsy. "Are you well Ms. Draitha?" I shook my head, then took a bite, savoring the flavor. "Yeah, 'm fine. Next thing you know you'll have creme horns." As soon as I answered the question the North Star beeped. Then zapped me with a small pillar of fire. "OUCH." I stared at it. "Murderous little bastard. That doesn't count Luna, no distracting with sweets." I looked to her, but she honestly looked more... concerned than anything. I shook it off. "Look, next question, okay? Who the hell is Celestia?" She nodded, but it was a slow nod, as if trying to catalog a large amount of information. I took another bite of cookie, while looking as angry as possible. Luna seemed to ponder something a moment. "Celestia is my sister, ruler of the day. She is the co-princess of Equestria, and a friend of the pony you know as Twilight Sparkle." I took the final bite of the cookie and looked at the crumb while chewing. I thought about how I should really be over this by now, I literally didn't know how long it had been since those days, but a few things brought back memories. Luna interrupted my reverie. "Why do my cookies make you sad?" I stared at her, and she flinched. I might have gone full angry glare, which was normally what started a long process that had ended up with three dead gods and a small genocide last time. I sighed and stared at the crumbs again. "You get one answer about that, get it?" She nodded, leaning forward. "So, background. I used to be normal, for a human I mean." With that I gestured at my body. "My species isn't special, most can't use magic. Hell, where I came from nobody can. But, one day, I just... poofed away. Went through the cracks in reality. I popped up in some other world, lived there a while, and poofed again. I've been hopping ever since. Normally I appear beside a dead body, take their identity, live as them for a while." I shrugged, then glanced at the cookie tray. "And a few things, remind me of someone. Someone close to me." I sighed and grabbed another cookie. "It's the closest I'll ever get to seeing him again. So that's why your damn cookies make me sad." I threw the cookie, watching it sail across the sky. As it flew I pointed a finger at it. "Solaire" A jet of fire flew form finger and melted the cookie into ash and dust. "Game over." And with that I got up, and walked to find a good sitting tree. It took a while for anyone to approach me. Apparently shooting off a magical disintegration beam to end a game is not considered either normal or sane by most ponies. I did get a tray of oatmeal raisin cookies teleported to me though. I glared at them as I munched. I could never bring myself to keep them in my bag. Despite the near limitless space, I didn't have many bags with a time stop spell on them. But one did have milk, which I gladly drank with the cookies. I expected to be left alone for the rest of the day, or at least until Celestia arrived. So imagine my shock that Fluttershy seemed to walk up after a few minutes of mentally girding herself. "Uhm, if it would be okay... I mean, if you don't mind. Could I... sit with you?" I gestured at the free spot across from me. "Free country." She nodded and sat in it, a small basket in her mouth. This led to a minor crises of faith about speaking with a basket in her mouth, which I quietly resolved as pony magic. The yellow pegasus (I still want wings dammit) opened the basket, and supplied her own glass of milk, as well as a variety of muffins, treats, and to top it off, a small batch of scrambled eggs. I quirked an eyebrow at it as the small pony looked to me. I sighed. "I feel like there's a master plan at hoof Ms. Fluttershy." She nodded, which was surprisingly confident given her inability to talk. Then I noticed her staring at my teeth while muttering. "Not a lot of canines, so mostly plant with meat as an additive. Ape like, so most of out grains are right out. Oh, and looky there, those rear teeth are definitely for grinding." She continued like this under her breath, it was mildly unnerving. However having my diet planned out by my teeth was far from the weirdest thing to happen to me today, and she wasn't asking me to talk. She then picked up the eggs and passed it to me. "Rarity said you hadn't had anything to eat when you showed up. I know cookies are good, but you need actual food too." Oh look, sadness was knocking again. I grabbed the plate without thinking. "Yeah, believe it or not I've made that speech a thousand times." She tilted her head. She was cute as a button. I took a bite of eggs. "I hate eggs." This didn't stop me from taking a second, larger bite. She tilted her head the other way as I continued eating. "Who'd you give the speech to?" I shrugged, actual food was good for getting me to chatter, plus I was honestly fairly tired from spellcasting, so my tragic backstory (trademark) could be opened up a little bit. "Close friend... the closest. While ago, back before I became all this," I gestured over my body. "I was his impulse control. He would want to stay up on some hair brained scheme, or eat stupid stuff because it was closest. Then I'd have to swoop in and fix it." I took another bite off eggs. I really didn't like eggs, unless they were a good omelette. "He did the opposite for me. I'd try to do the perfectly logical thing, and he'd run in wearing a pair of sheets to spirit me away to toga parties, or some other weird shit. We really worked well together." Fluttershy sat there for a moment, and I finished the eggs. I popped the plate on the floor, then drank my milk. The next thing I knew I was on the receiving end of a pony hug. I could feel a muzzle in my chest, which was weird. I raised my hands and muttered. "Dammit, this was Justin's thing." I gave a half-hearted tap with my hands that could have been construed as a hug in certain lights. Fluttershy backed away sheepishly. "I-I'm sorry, it's just y-you're so sad. I thought a hug might make you feel better." I smiled at her, like really smiled. Gods, before that I think the last time I really smiled at someone was saying goodbye to Piper. I shook off the memories. Being in funks makes me remember, and I hated that. "Yeah, hugs help. I just wish I could be somebody else, that makes this way easier." Fluttershy didn't seem to understand, but nodded anyways. I leaned back, enjoying the calm. I was about to close my eyes as a soft hoof tapped me and pointed towards the house. I gave a quiet harumph, but grabbed my pack and walked to the house. I opened the door to find the inside completely black. My senses went wild. My old friend paranoia was knocking on my door. I pulled my pistol out of it's holster and kept it in my right hand, and channeled energy into my left. I took one step and touched a tripwire. Suddenly colours were blasted in my face. I saw an outline move above me and raised my pistol to it. "SURPRISE!!!" I then was tackled by a pink event horizon. A pistol shot fired, and I hit the dirt. I heard screams, and saw confetti all around me. Apparently I had tried to shoot a surprise party. Whoops. Author's Note Three chapters, woot. I'm having a blast with this story. Comments are loved,so feel free to drop a line. Level Three- A Night To RememberRain splattered the concrete around my feet. The ambush had been perfect, and I was alone. I held my jury-rigged rifle close, trying to pick out targets from the fog. I was still stuck in some lab building, and Macready had been a few rooms down trying to fix up his pistol. I peeked through the destroyed hallway, seeing a few figures chatting. I raised my rifle, looking down the homemade reflex sight. I put a head between the screws, and popped off a round. The body crumpled, and the other figures turned to me. I ran, ducking into another building. A deactivated eyebot sat on the table, which I quickly tore through. Finding a small microfusion cell, I switched to my laser rifle. Plugging in a new power cell I smiled. "Come and get me." The building was quieter now. It had been a few hours since everything had gone to shit. Gunner's had attacked, and I still couldn't find Macready. I finished my little hard point in the lab. I used my new barricade to look through the hall. I could see a few gunners walking around, but none looked twice at the barricaded room. I guess when half the building is collapsed a single unreachable room isn't weird. I looked at the small tripwire and shrugged. A nap would work, at least until I could figure out a plan. I woke up to someone setting off the trip wire, making my pip-boy ring quietly. I grabbed the laser rifle and listened. Someone had entered through the outside window, and I could hear there footsteps slowly marching towards me. I raised the rifle, letting my breath snake out of my lungs. I waited until I saw a chest, then fired. Macready fell, a confused look on his face. I screamed, he screamed. The world seemed to shift, and he gargled sentences at me through melted lungs. "I'm sorry, oh gods, I thought you were a... a...." Tears spilled out of my eyes. Macready smiled, holding my head weakly with one hand. He just shook his head. It took only a moment before he died in my arms. I bolted up,my eyes widening as I tried to remember where I was. "NNOOOO!" I looked around. I was being stared at by ponies. I had forgotten that was a thing okay? I also was staring at a hole in the floor beside me. There was no blood, so bonus points for me I guess. I shook my head, and Fluttershy came up to me. "Are you okay?" I tried for a cocky grin, but it died on the way, leaving me with a grimace. "Don't like surprises." I looked around. There were a couple new ponies. Lyra was still there, passed out on a couch. A blue one with rainbow hair was there. One with a blond mane and a stetson, and then the others I had met. The pink one was there too. I thought her name was Pinkie, but that seemed too on the nose. She seemed unperturbed by my outburst, which I attributed to insanity. There was also a pony in the corner. It wore a dark hood, which covered it's face. I stared for a moment before shaking it off. Luna walked up next. "Ms. Draitha, What was that?" She pointed towards the hole. I raised the pistol. "It's what this does. Last time a bunch of people jumped out screaming surprise I got a knife between the ribs." I sighed, trying to shake it off. "I'll join the party, I just... I need a place to change clothes, where's a private area?" Luna pointed me towards a small room in the cottage. I walked in and routed in my bag for a minute. I thought of about five different outfits, and decided against them. "HAVE YOU THOUGHT OF WEARING A DRESS?" I jumped and turned around. Oh goodie, the pony had followed me. "It's rude to watch someone changing." I said, while still routing through my bag. Well, a dress would be nice. I still had that cute little red piece from the last world. It even had a matching holster. It was for a different pistol, but a girl's gotta accessorize. I pulled it out, as well as the matching holster and pistol. I threw the R51 back in. Then stared at the pony. "Shoo, I need privacy." The pony tilted his head. "I HAVE SEEN THAT DRESS BEFORE, AS WELL AS YOU." I stared at this pony. He seemed to consider his option. "A DEAD DRESS, A DEAD WOMAN, ALL IS FITTING. YOU ARE WELCOME HERE, DO NOT MAKE ME SEEK YOU." He paused, staring at the small metal circles in my arms. "THOUGH, A JACKET MIGHT STOP SOME UNWELCOME QUESTIONS." With that he vanished, leaving me confused. I walked out in my little red dress, with a sleeved leather jacket covering my arms.. I felt sexy, which was a nice change of pace. I normally felt like a killer, or at least a small monster. And I saw stares. While they weren't the lust hungry stares I liked, they also weren't human. I walked the way I had been taught to be a walking beacon of sex appeal and power. While it didn't hold as much power as I wanted it did leave an impression on Rarity. "Oh dear, you look positively magnificent. While your other outfits have been ghastly this.." She gestured with a hoof. "This is what an alien should look like." I smiled. The way the dress hugged me, the way the holster on my thigh was shown through it's slit. I have to admit, I felt downright great. Rarity wasn't letting up though. "Oh my, and this has given me so many ideas. If this is formal attire for your species then they have some good ideas. I mean those golden butterflies, that beautiful inlay. Oh, and that jacket, positively ravishing. I could design three new outfits just on that alone." I smiled. "I have a few more like this if you want to see them later." Rarity nodded as the blue pony flew up. Oh, goody, more flying ponies to rub it in my face. She looked me over, her gaze pausing at my pistol. "I'm Rainbow Dash, best flier in Equestria." She held out a hoof, I grabbed it, and she pulled me into a hug. "My friends trust you, but I saw what those things can do. Just be careful, I'm watching you." She backed away and I smiled at her. Well, more accurately I showed my teeth. "Don't worry." I whispered. "As long as no one messes with me, I won't mess with them." I have to admit, Rainbow reacted well, barely flinching from me. I had to readjust my gaze to her forehead, so as to avoid soul related mishaps. I couldn't tell who would win the stare off, and a pink pony ruined it. "Hey Dratty, I'm Pinkie Pie, and I threw this party just for you." I stared at the pony who was certainly completely insane. She threw her hooves in the air. "And now that you and Rainbow Dash has done that whole scare the new pony routine we can start the party!" Her voice sounded like a helium tank turned into a pony. And when she finished the room changed. Like in an instant. Suddenly streamers replaced the floor confetti, and a banner unrolled that said welcome to Ponyville. I stared as a small speaker began playing music. I moved to a couch. This was nice. The cowpony walked up. She looked at me while chewing, which made me smile. That was my favorite nervous tick. She made her way to me, before waving. "Howdy there, Ah'm Applejack." I waved back, reaching my pack. I pulled out an apple. I looked it over and passed to her with a grin. "Apple for an apple?" She smiled back. "Now ain't that a thing? Ah ain't never met bad sorts who keep apples in their pack." She took a bite, and thought a moment. "Now that don't taste like any apple I'd ever had. Seems like it wasn't grown right." I chuckled a bit. This whole world seemed to exist to make me happy. "It's a wild apple. I think I got it from a grove that had been abandoned for a while." I reached in the pack and pulled out the whole small bag of various fruits that I got from Harold. "All of these are from a friend I met a long time ago. He pointed me to where he hid his favorites." Thus began a boring conversation explaining the large amount of fruit I had. Towards the end I gestured to them. "Take 'em. I doubt I'll need them anymore. Honestly they were for emergencies, and I think I'm going to be fine here." Applejack looked at the fruit, then nodded. "Well sugarcube, Twi asked me to host you in my spare barn. Ah'll be honest, Ah wasn't sure if ah would." I nodded, I could live in the wilds honestly. Applejack raised a hoof at this though. "But, anypony willing to share can't be all bad. Ah got the old barn in my north field set up as a guest house. Y'all can stay there until the princesses figure out what y'all are doin'." I nodded. I didn't like any home I hadn't cleared already, but security I could do myself. I nodded. "Once I get set up it will be dangerous, just make sure to knock when I move in. And if you see a note, listen to it." Applejack raised an eyebrow, but nodded. "Aight sugurcube, just don't break nothing." I nodded and looked around. No alcohol, which I couldn't stand for. I dug in my bag for a minute, before laughing. Suddenly I was the center of attention as I pulled out a bottle of Jack. I held it out like it was holy. "I am become drunk, destroyer of worlds." I saw Fluttershy fold her ears down, but I ignored that as I popped the top and took a swig. It burned, which felt great. I nodded at the ponies. "This is what my group always partied with. Or at least something close to this." I reached in my bag, grabbing a glass. I poured myself a shot. "So do you ponies know what a toast is?" Twilight answered. "Yes, it was an old ritual where everypony would drink something in honor to a specific event or reason." She then flipped open a small notebook and wrote in it. "It's not in common practice anymore, but I can assume in your culture it's still used." I nodded. "Then let me show you how it's done." I raised the glass high and shouted. "To absent friends." The other ponies stared. "Then you guys repeat it." I was met by a few muttered repetitions. I shrugged and downed the shot, feeling delightfully warm. Pinkie jumped up. "If your friends aren't here why not just invite them?" I sighed. "By absent I meant dead Pinkie, as in eternally absent." I expected a sad reaction, or maybe a shocked gasp. Instead I was shocked as Pinkie stole my damn whiskey. She raised the bottle and shouted. "To sad ponies, so they'll cheer up!" And with that she took a small sip, and passed the bottle back. At her saying it the other ponies repeated it, with a bit more spirit than mine. She looked at me. "Did I do it right?" I nodded, and grumpily checked my amount of whiskey. It was only one shot, but actual Jack was rare. "Yeah, could have asked though. Crazy pink pony." She smiled. "Oh yeah, can I steal your drink to try a toasty thingy?" I stared at her. "You mean again, or are you just asking for the one you already did?" She nodded. Great, answers poured out of her like water from a desert. I sighed. "How about I just nod and you don't steal any more jack?" She nodded, I nodded. There was a lot of nodding. I capped the jack, throwing it back in my pack. After that little bit of excitement the party continued as normal. I saw Twilight try to dance, and then I saw Rarity actually dance. One was horrifying, the other graceful. I'm going to assume you'll figure it out. I had even managed to secure a small plate of food. Fluttershy had gotten it for me, and it wasn't all sweet's sadly. I was getting tired though. Sleeping wasn't something I could normally do with others around. I looked around for Applejack. I found her arm wrestling Rainbow. Or, hoof wrestling I guess? Either way I walked up. "Hey Applejack?" She smiled at me and slammed Rainbows hoof on the table. "Yeah sugarcube?" Ah, southern nicknames. Some things always make me feel better, even if it was from ponies. "Uh, if you don't mind could you show me to the barn real quick. I think this is a few to many ponies for me." She looked confused for a moment but shrugged. "Twi said if yah were willing she'd just teleport yah. I know it don't rightly agree with you, but it would be a whole mess easier." I shrugged. "Alright then, go grab her. I'll be ready when she tells me." I looked around as Rainbow glared at me. "How is seven ponies to many?" It was an obvious olive branch. One that she wasn't great at passing, but an acceptable one. "I don't like crowds. I've avoided groups bigger than four since I had a... a bad accident." I shuddered a bit. I could still remember steel tipped blades at my back, as most of my allies turned on me. I heard the screams as they slaughtered my friends. I was snapped out of my thoughts by a hoof waving in front of my face. "Yo, Draitha, you ok?" I slowly pushed the hoof out of my face and tried for a disarming smirk. Rainbow didn't buy it. "That's the second time you've clocked out like that. Then there was after that weird spell. Are you okay?" I shook my head. "Not at all, but I'll live." My smile faltered, and I forced it back on my face. "I always do." Rainbow looked ready to comment, but Twilight walked up. "You ready Draitha?" I nodded, as I saw a magenta glow cover me. "I think it'll be less jarring like this. We're going in three, two, one." And with that I was pulled much more gently through space. After a moment I was in an apple field. I looked at a well maintained barn. It was nice. I shuffled my pack as I heard Twilight talk. "Do you need any help?" I shook my head as I watched the sun set. I looked over the barn. "If you don't mind, I need to set this up. I can't sleep without some stuff around the house. Just knock if you need me." She nodded and backed off. The evil book pony was learning. I walked into the barn. It was spartan, with a bed, a couch, and a painting of an apple tree. I stared at it, then looked out the lone window, which had the exact same view of a lone apple tree. "Crazy farmers." I muttered while putting my bag on the couch. I pulled out a small collection of objects. Some were trip mines, some were noisemakers, and one was just a briefcase. I pulled out my pocket watch. Opening it up I looked at the imp. "Hey buddy." He smiled and waved at me. "We're stuck here a while, so if I put you somewhere nice would you enjoy being left open?" He looked thoughtful, a talon tapping his chin. Then he nodded so big it turned into a bow. I chuckled. "Alright buddy, I'll set you up a little stand in a bit, for now keep guard for me." he shrugged, we both knew he was a useless guard, but it made him happy. I set him up on the windowsill, looking at the tree. I then moved the various mines to key points in my barn. I looked it over, before popping open the briefcase. It was Mr. Friendly. Named because he was only used when I didn't want everyone at my door dead. Inside was a remote mine, a small tablet, and a large amount of post it notes. I dug a hole outside of the barn doors, before dropping the mine in it. Filling the hole I took the tablet and stuck it to the wall with a small attraction spell. I opened the app that hooked the mine to the tablet and looked it over. Okay, so I needed a riddle only the ponies I liked could figure out. Name was to easy, and something about them had an unknown quantity. I snapped my fingers. I typed in a question. 'Who did I offer a toast too?' I stared at it a moment before grunting. I'd find a better one later. I stuck a post it note explaining what to do, and to please knock if you had no clue what I was talking about. Also knock if you get it right before you enter because it's polite. I walked in and stared at the bed. It was much to small for me. Stupid pony midgets. I pulled the couch to the middle of the room. I then dug in my pack for a pillow and blanket. After some thought I also pulled out a long sword. It was crafted for work, a scimitar with a curved cross guard. I stabbed it into the ground beside the couch. I then curled up and fell asleep. I was awoken a few hours later to a small explosion. I rolled off the couch, grabbing the blade and looking at smoke rolling out from under the barn doors. I then cursed the lack of cover in my room. Sure I could topple the bookcase, but that would take time. Combat skills honed by the harshest of teachers, experience, turned on. I rolled behind the couch, using it as concealment while I slipped off my jacket. It could catch, or be grabbed. I cursed myself for wearing a dress. I didn't know anything about this world, why would I wear such a frivolous thing? The door cracked open, then paused. I ducked low, and used the window as a mirror. I saw the start of a hoof, then it paused, before sliding back. Then there was a knock. I held the blade across my body. "Nobody home. Please refrain all assassination attempts until business hours." I heard a soft chuckle behind the door. That gave me pause, because I definitely exploded the first person to try and come in. I then heard a calm voice. "I'm sorry to say I offer only conversation, though I probably should have listened to your little note." I scoffed at the voice. So something could take a low yield explosive. Not a huge surprise, it was mostly meant to wound anyways. I stood slowly, keeping the blade in a diagonal line across my body. "Enter slowly, then we'll see if I'll talk." The hoof reappeared in my vision, and the barn door swung wide. I saw another princess. The white fur, the ethereal mane. I cursed under my breath. Another damn goddess who walked into my room. I held up my hand as she readied to take another step, and gestured at the small red light she had been about to touch. She seemed surprised by it, but carefully stepped over it. She then smiled at me. "Well then, may I assume we can talk?" I shrugged, keeping my blade close. "Well, there isn't a blade at my back, so you've started right, but you lost those points by blowing up Mr. Friendly. I'll have to remake that." She glanced outside. "Was Mr. friendly the explosive that went off? Forgive me, but he hardly seemed friendly." I lowered the sword slightly. "He is compared to the one you just almost touched. That one would have blown up much worse." She looked me over, and stared at my arms. Shit. "What happened to you?" I glanced at my arms. The iron nails I had hammered in over my travels each had a small spell on them, keeping them in place and glowing in a soft white light. I sighed. "Nails in my coffin princess. Just an old tale that I turned into another one." She glanced at each one. "You did that to yourself?" I grimaced. "Yeah, every friend gets a nail. They're my pack." At this she seemed a bit more revolted, and curious. That was honestly weird to me. She looked at me. "A tale?" I nodded. "A poem, from my home." I sighed and stabbed the blade back into the ground. No fight today. I let out a breath and repeated the poem. "Now this is the law of the jungle. As old and as true as the sky, And the wolf that may keep it shall prosper, but the wolf that shall break it will die." I idly traced my finger on the nail in my shoulder. " As the creeper that girdles the tree trunk, the law runneth forward and back; for the strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack." I touched the nail again, feeling a jolt of pain as the nail scraped bone. I grunted and picked up my jacket, throwing it over my shoulders. Celestia seemed to mull this over. "A true enough poem I suppose. Barring my... distraction, I am Princess Celestia, one of the rulers of Equestria." I moved back to the couch and pushed my blanket to the side, sitting on a clear cushion. "Yeah, yeah. I'm Draitha, and I don't feel like bringing out my titles. It takes to long." She giggled at that. It sounded like tinkling bells. "Of course, I must say my own can take to long to want to go through as well." I nodded, gods tended to collect titles, and if they were rulers too, I could only imagine. "How many breaths does an official crier have to take in your name?" She smiled at that. "Two, and an hours rest before and after." I smiled back. "Last time I went all out for a formal event, it was five, and the poor guy passed out after. But that was only because the noble I was visiting annoyed me." That seemed to cause a pause. Celestia tried to divine my meaning. "You are an exceptional creature Draitha." I shrugged. "Well, I'm well traveled. The stories I could tell." Celestia paused again. She sat ahead of me. "Do you know much about me or Luna's power?" I shook my head. "Well, while I do not appreciate leaving out things I will let you in on a secret. No lies can exist in the sun's light, as such, I can safely know anything you say that's a lie. And you're name is not your name." I nodded. She kept talking. "And Luna can ferret out any hidden fact in conversation. And you have truly killed gods." I nodded. Celestia paused at this. "I do not want a fight, but I need something. Some way to know you are not a threat to my ponies." I thought for a moment, then sighed. "You can read minds right?" It was her turn to nod. "I'll give you front row seats to my memories. I choose them, you watch them. I'll start with a fight, then we'll move on from there. The only exchange is that you help me set up a life." Celestia bobbed her head, mulling over my idea. Then she nodded. "Very well. I will watch a memory tonight, and every night following until I am convinced. If you wouldn't mind." She gestured towards my head. I nodded and started thinking one of me early real battles. A soft white glow surrounded me, and my world slowly faded. Author's Note So, how's this going along? I'm kinda writing a lot recently. None of my real life friends are bronies, so feedback is still loved. Bonus Level - Drink DeepI had landed again. No bag, handful of dollar bills, and a photo. Honestly I was just glad my pockets kept there stuff. Maybe I should have gotten a bag before this. I stumbled drunkenly, trying to find where I was. I saw wasteland around me. I saw a short sword beside me, which if I remembered Jacobs lectures was of European descent. I picked it up. I wasn't a great sword user or anything, but it was better than a fist. I looked over my street clothes. A hoodie in plain black, jeans, and my set of combat boots. I sighed and hoisted the sword to my shoulder. I looked around. I was gonna miss Sensei, he was a good teacher. I tried to move around my energy, and felt it slow. "Really, no magic just after I figure it out?" I flinched. I had just said that out loud. I turned around. Okay, time to move. I picked a random direction. I had been walking for an hour, and was thirsty, and decided to distract myself with singing. I was halfway through some Jason Aldean song, before I found something good. I looked at the small spring in front of me. I knelt down quickly, and began shoveling water into my mouth. I was ecstatic, until some ass placed the blunt edge of a blade to my throat. I froze, and heard someone speaking a language I didn't know in my ear. I took a moment to process what was happening. I knew some words, namely shi meant death. I thought anyways. "Damn moonspeak. I shoved the blade away, hoisting the sword I held up. There was a samurai in front of me. I did not want to cross blades with a trained fighter. I tried to slowly back up, and he advanced. I sighed. Okay, what had Sensei told me about swordplay. Mostly don't be in it. But we had sparred. I pushed out the blade, giving him an easier target as he eyed me. I was desperately hoping he took the bait. he did, his sword flashing into mine, pushing it aside, and leaving him open to an errant shoulder check from me. I felt the nail in my arm dig in, but I ignored it. I then threw a kick into his gut. He rose up and spat. "Hazubeki!" I smiled. No clue what he said, but he was pissed now. That was probably. bad. He charged in, and I was suddenly embroiled in clashing blades. It was like a dance, each swipe and slash countered. I wished I had the ability to write, this would make a good poem. Both of us fought like wounded dogs, not much beauty, giving way to a natural beauty. I felt my arm buckle under an overhead slash, then slipped to the side. I kicked out once, knocking the samurai to his knee. I followed it up with a straight up sucker punch to the head. I heard a clatter as his blade fell. I glanced at it and kicked it away. And thus the tableau was set. Me, sword raised, staring down a kneeling samurai. He looked to his blade once, and lowered his head. I was there, dumbly waiting for a cue. I slowly lowered my sword. He looked up at me. I held a hand to my chest. "Angela." He stared at me, and then put a hand on his chest. "Yasumori." Well, introductions done. I kicked the sword to him and sat down. He looked confused, but made no move towards it. I nodded and looked at the spring. I took another sip. Then filled up my hand and offered the water to Yasumori. He eyed it for a while and stood, grabbing his blade he sheathed it, and took his own handful, He nodded towards me. I smiled at him, and I saw him smile back. I looked around again. Oh my, that was another group. I tapped his shoulder and pointed. He grunted and stood. He shook himself lose and grabbed the hilt of his blade. I followed suit. I saw four people charging. I could hear there war cries on the wind. Axes in hand, with the front runner holding a short blade and shield. Yasumori got lower. He said something in moon speak, but I could discern it's meaning. Here comes a fight. The fight was harsh. I felt every muscle in my body strain as I deflected another strike, using the momentum from their swing to power my own hit with the cross guard of my blade. I felt a crack as the woman's nose broke. I shifted my sight to the next one. A man with two hand axes reared them up for a two hand strike. I angled my blade to catch both, with the point forward. I was jarred when they hit, but I slid the blade forward. I felt the blade slide between ribs, and I let my body fall forward, jamming deep into his side. I then pulled back. The man behind me fell, and I saw the woman take a step back. I glanced at Yasumori, who had just manged a solid slash against some huge, axe wielding, man. As he fell I saw the shield guy grab him by the back of his head. I charged, using my blade to push the woman out of the way. It was a decidedly fatal way to move her. I felt red blood drip down my head. I saw Yasumori fall forward as the blade sunk into his neck. I yelled. There were no words in it, but I knew the damn murderer heard me. he never got a chance to respond. My blade flickered across him. Small cuts peppered his arms, and his weapons fell. He stared at me, and I kicked him in the head. he fell back, but I could see him breathing. "I JUST MET HIM!!" I gestured to Yasumori, who wasn't moving. "I MADE A DAMN FRIEND!" My blade shook in my grip. I took a deep breathe. "Sensei said mortals deserve a chance...." I looked over at the bleeding man on the ground, and raised my sword. "But I'm a bit more draconian than him." I put the blade above his gut. "I hope this hurts." I jammed the blade down, feeling the man try to struggle. I turned, leaving him pinned to the dirt. I walked to my dead friend. He looked peaceful. I found some parchment with some Japanese writing on it. I pocketed it and grabbed his blade and sheath. "Sorry friend." I closed his eyes, before hooking the sheath into my belt. I moved quickly, looting the dead, and finding both food and water. I peeked at the small shield. I took a knife from the fallen warriors and pried out a nail. "Well, about that time." I wiped the new wound on my arm, binding it in some bandages the warriors had. I picked up Yasumori's sword, looking it over. I grabbed his sheath, and tied it to my belt with the clothes of the fallen. I stared at the corpse for a moment, before bowing to it slowly, and turning my back to him. I needed to get away from here. Author's Note Well, google translate to the rescue. According to is Shi means something close to the fear of death, while Hazubeki means dishonor. If you know better translations pass them my way. Level Four - Settle in, Saddle upI woke up to soft morning light. I shuffled calmly, enjoying the peace. I glanced over my shoulder. There was Celestia, looking at me with thoughts on her mind. I fell off the couch. "JESUS FUCK!" I sprawled on the floor, scrambling for a gun, a sword, even a sturdy stick. After a quick moment I realized I was not only alive, but she had been with me while I slept. I swallowed my paranoia. As I tried to stand I heard the princess giggle again. "I think we still have more to discuss." I didn't like the sound of that. I stood up quickly, bag dangling from my shoulder. I peeked in it and saw the void. Okay, nothing messed with. I looked at her. "Fine, keep it quick." She looked at me. "It has been so long since anypony has told me anything like an order." Her face was a mask, but mine was too. I didn't trust her, especially since I didn't remember falling asleep. She sighed. "Fine, I saw you in action there. You killed three creatures like you, for a friend you had known for approximately two minutes. This worries me, but also gives me hope. I shall allow you to stay, for now." I nodded and shoved a hand in my bag, before pulling out a breakfast bar. She glanced at it, but continued talking. "You are a killer, and one who is obviously hurt, so you shall have a caretaker whenever you leave the farm." I ripped open the bar, but paused as she said that. "I don't do babysitters." I took a large bite out of the bar, blanching at the taste. "I hate macadamia nuts." I then took another bite. Celestia's ears perked up. "Then why are you eating it?" I shrugged, which seemed to shut her down. She cleared her throat. "Well then, I shall repeat you will have a caretaker, but more to look at your..." She stole a look at my arms. "Injuries, as well as learn about you. Consider it as somepony to make sure that ponies don't automatically seem suspicious of you." I nodded, and took another small bite. I really hated macadamia nuts. But food was energy. I pulled myself into standing and dug around in my case. "You owe me one for Mr. Friendly. help me out." Celestia paused, before nodding. "Very well, what can I do?" I pulled out another mine, of approximate friendly payload. I smiled. Celestia took my request for a small hole well, and we replaced Mr. Friendly quickly. She then teleported away without another word. I felt it was rude, but checked the tablet regardless. It was fine, and I set it up with the new mine before going back inside. I took in the room and smiled. Time for the safe house ritual, weapon check. It was a few hours before anyone knocked. They actually knocked a few times, but I had an earphone in and was listening to music and didn't hear it until someone shouted for me to get my butt outside. I flicked off the trip mine with a thought and a twitch before opening the door. Applejack and Fluttershy were there, looking at me expectantly. I looked at them. Neither of us spoke until I waved, popping out an earbud. "Yes?" Applejack spoke first. "Well partner, yah left a hay of an impression. Celestia said before yah were supposed to leave the barn Flutters here had to give yah a full physical." I flinched. I didn't like showing off my arms. I sighed. "Fine, come on in, keep an eye out for red lines, don't touch them." Applejack looked and saw the three I had on entry points. She glared at them. "What in tarnation are those?' I shrugged. "Explosives, I need something protecting me if I want to sleep. It's a dangerous world." Both ponies lost their color at this, but I walked to the couch, which had a half disassembled rifle on it. I picked it up and assembled it rapidly, running through a quick function check before clearing it. I leaned it against the couch and sat down. I gestured to Fluttershy. "She'll want you to look at my arms." I shrugged of my jacket, showing my glowing nails. Fluttershy fainted, while Applejack had to excuse herself with a head dangling out the window. She turned her look to me after a few disgusting noises coming from the outside. "What happened to yah?" I frowned. I tapped a nail and uttered a name. A small picture came from it. "This is Captain Titus." They stared at the attractive man, with two brass studs in his forehead. His brown hair cut short. "Each nail is someone I've lost in my travels." I tapped a few more, then shrugged and took off the dress. I had to change anyways. I tapped the only nail on my chest. This one near a collar bone. "This is Macready." I showed him to them. Then muttered a cancel spell and all the pictures faded. "I never leave a friend behind." Applejack stared, and Fluttershy seemed to be stuttering awake. She sat up, and gulped at looking at me again. "Oh my, and all those scars. At least half of these weren't treated." I covered myself with my arms. "Hey, I did my best. I'm not exactly a doctor here." This was greeted with more silence. Fluttershy walked up and looked me over clinically. "You mean you patched up all your wounds yourself?" I was getting nervous. The last doctor I had visited drugged me and tested on me. I'd never gone to a doctor sense. "I uh, I don't like doctors." Fluttershy nodded. "Well I'm not a doctor, so sit still miss." I did as she began muttering and tapping me all over, before finally taking a step back. "You're surprisingly healthy. I know you did your best with all these, but half of those were nearly fatal due to improper dressing. The gash on your arm was near an artery, and the stitching was barely enough to keep it from ripping open." I froze, she told all that from how they healed? Geez, I thought I was good at combat medicine too. "Well, you suck pony doctor. You try patching a hole with a staple gun while getting shot at." Both ponies stared at me. Applejack spoke first. "What's a staple gun?" I smiled. New topic, time to run with it. "I have one, gimme a sec." I reached in my pack and pulled it out. I held it to the ground and fired. "See, you pull the trigger and it uses a link of metal to force two things together." Fluttershy stared, but Applejack just whistled. "Ah reckon that thing would be right useful in making walls and such." I shrugged. "Never used it for long term building, just throwing together a wall for a less than quick escape." Unfortunately, Fluttershy was not easily distracted. If anything she looked horrified. "You used that, on yourself?!" I flinched. bad distraction. I rubbed the back of my head. "Yeah... it was that or bleed out." She stared at me in horror. Applejack joined in this time. "Sugarcube, that thing looks like it would hurt yah even worse. How in the hay are yah still alive?" A good question, one that I could use to reforge my little personality. "I'm really stubborn. I got the thing back that opened me up." I traced the wound I was talking about, a large scar that went from my thigh to my navel. I shuddered at the memory. Close call. Fluttershy flinched, but her voice brokered no argument. "Stand up and turn around." I did, and she gasped. "Only two scars here." I nodded. I felt her hoof trace the scars. "This ones so small, but this one looks like a spear wound." I moved away. "The small one's where I got shot. The other is a spear wound. I was traveling with a group, they found out somebody would pay money for me. They tried to cash me out." I grabbed my bag and pulled out spare underwear. "I want to see the town, can somebody be my babysitter so Celestia won't turn me into a small rodent." The ponies didn't laugh, but Fluttershy nodded. "I still need to see... under those clothes." I flushed, and gestured to Applejack, who quietly made an exit. The check up was quick, and professional. I then quickly changed underwear and looked at Fluttershy, still flinching after I explained exactly why I was less than pleased about the examination. "Hey, what should I wear?" Fluttershy was less than chatty whenever I wasn't either hurt or sad. "Oh, uhm... maybe just something simple. And not scary, ponies might run away from you if you were any scarier." I nodded and pulled out a small plate carrier in a nice, dark tan. I like safety, so no judging. I pulled out a black turtleneck and slipped it on, before velcro-ing up the plate carrier. I pulled out some jeans and put them on, before slipping on my old combat boots. "Gods this feels right." I dug around in my pack as Fluttershy spoke quietly from behind me. "What feels right?" I pulled out a holster and clipped it to my plate carriers quick holster thing. I had never learned it's name, but it was on all my gear that needed one. I checked the holster, which was for a Taurus revolver. I dug out the revolver and froze. I knew this one. I smiled and pulled out a box of .357 and loaded it up. "Being in regular clothes. No dress, no fatigues, no stealth suit. Just a shirt and plates." I slid the revolver in the holster and slammed my fist into my chest. I heard then solid thump of ceramic and smiled. "It's nice." Fluttershy flinched at my solid thump. "Oh well, if you like it, then that's good. Are you ready?" I shook my head. "Nope, you're princess said she liked our spar and I don't trust her not to ambush me again for fun. I reached into my bag and pulled out a long curved blade. "And Yasumori will have my back." I lashed it to my back and smiled. "Now, where are we going?" Fluttershy's eyes betrayed that I looked a bit scarier than she would have liked, but she kept a lid on it. "Well, Rarity asked to see you, and I need to run and visit Open Paw for some new feed. If you thought it was okay we could do that?" I nodded and pointed to the door. "Mares first, I've got to lock up." She walked out and I flipped back on the trip mine as I walked out. I saw Applejack walking around her orchard. She appeared to be inspecting the tree's, which were probably hers since it was her barn. I waved, and she waved back as I followed Fluttershy. We walked into town in a calm silence, which I approved of. I caught several stares, and several ponies made sure to give me a wide berth, but it was acceptable. I moved through the village in awe. It was wonderfully simple. I saw ponies helping each other in a million small ways, and noone noticed. The houses were all nice and clean. I even saw a child wave to me. A child who wasn't terrified of the scarred murderer in their village? Perfection. I was led to the carousel building that I had landed beside. Fluttershy walked in easily, so I just followed. The front of the store was much less cluttered than the back I had sat in yesterday. It was decorated like a little girls dream, with pony dresses all over. I also saw Rarity, glasses perched on her head. I reached up to mine and didn't feel them. They probably fell off at some point yesterday. I pouted about that, but brushed it away. I followed Fluttershy as she picked up a magazine on a small table, and sat on a chair. I grabbed one and stared at it. It was in another language, and I couldn't read it. I stared for a moment before putting it down and waiting. Fluttershy noticed and looked at me, some worry tinting her vision. "Oh, do you not like fashion magazines?" I blew air out my nose. "I forgot my translator doesn't work on words. I'd have to grab my little buddy and get him to hand translate it, I might do that later." I started thinking if he would like it, he normally enjoyed working on projects. Fluttershy though, seemed interested. "A translator, so you aren't speaking Equestrian?" I shook my head. "Nah, I have a universal translator that does it all for me. Some kind of magic that translates surface thoughts into a voice. Honestly my voice is kind of hard to hear. To much screaming." I idly tapped at my forearm. I didn't mention that the nail there had it enchanted in. Then Fluttershy ruined it. "Can I hear your real voice?" I sighed. I rolled up my sleeve to the nail near my wrist. "Pull this out and you can." And she fainted again. I still don't know why ponies keep doing that. I moved the magazine off her face and stared at it a while before tossing it on the table. "Damn moon runes." It took almost an hour for Rarity to notice us. The fact I had begun making origami cranes and throwing them at her had nothing to do with it. I will plead the fifth to any other testimony. She did however, light up upon seeing us. "Oh, just the two I was looking for." She glanced at Fluttershy, but then returned her gaze to me. Apparently fainting Fluttershy was normal. I waved. "Yeah, Fluttershy said you asked for me?" Rarity nodded, and proceeded to look over my outfit. "Yes dear, I was just thinking of making you a new outfit, but I have no idea what you'd prefer. I could make a dress like last night, but I've hardly heard your opinion on what you want." I moved to look over her designs. They were sketched on white paper, and most were very colorful. "No clue. Has to have full sleeves, and I prefer darker colors. Anything past that though..." I just smiled. "Wait, easy to move in too, I like to be able to wear a thing like this with my outfits too." I gestured to the plate carrier I was wearing. Rarity barely noticed as new paper floated around her. "Of course dear, now do you like it to be form fitting or more flowing? Perhaps a nice shirt. Oh, but those dimensions are so nice, maybe those pants you have on would be a good base." She began half ranting questions as I answered. Fluttershy woke up at some point, though I only noticed when the sneaky pony showed up with some tea. I thanked her quietly and both ponies excused themselves. I could hear them whispering in the other room. I also caught Rarity peek out of their little area a couple times to glance at me. I waved once, just to show her I knew. She quickly blushed and ducked back to their little hidey hole on the other side of the room. I tapped on the nail in my forearm. I was careful not to actually pluck it. I had learned that it would hurt. A lot. I looked at my pack and reached in, pulling out a book. I just thought of an author, and had to pull a book out of a small pile, but I got one. Monstrous Regiment. I flicked it open and began reading. I had read a few chapters before the ponies returned. I didn't really notice them more than some sort of ethereal grunt. I turned the page and chuckled. I saw Rarity look at me from the corner of my eye, and smiled wider. I could be a civilized girl. For short periods of time anyways. I dog eared a page, and put it beside the chair I had plopped down in. Rarity made some mild comment about needing time to work on a dress, and very politely kicked us out. Me and Fluttershy went to the per food store, in which I found that steak was considered pet food. I saw the gold bits being passed around and looked in my pack. I had a few septims from a long time ago, and held them up. "Excuse me sir, would these cover that meat on the wall?" He looked at them oddly, then at Fluttershy. "Is he, uhh, supposed to talk?" I facepalmed, and waited for Fluttershy to speak. "Yes, he's from very far off." She then moved some more of her own gold coins to him. "Just put that meat with my normal order please. He doesn't know much about Equestria yet." The pony nodded and passed her a piece of paper. Fluttershy walked out and I followed. I turned to her. "Have all these ponies thought I was your pet?" Fluttershy seemed to shrink. "Well, uhm, that might have been the whole point of you being with me. I mean, I now you're not as bad as someponies might think, but you are... uhh, really scary." I sighed. I was scary, I was a known killer. I patted Fluttershy. "It's fine, just a bit insulting." I looked out at town. "I think I'd like to go home now though." Fluttershy nodded. "That sounds nice. Uhm, if you wouldn't mind. Twilight said she'd want to see you too. I could call for her. If you're okay with it." I groaned. "Yeah, sure. Just... tell her to bring me a table. I need a damn table." Fluttershy nodded, and we continued our walk in silence. I enjoyed that. To many ponies tried to talk honestly. We returned to my barn, and I typed in the password to my tablet, before walking in. I flick of my wrist and the trip mine was off. I sat on my couch and picked up the rifle again. Fluttershy watched with interest as I looked it over. I pulled a pin, and talked. "AR-15 carbine. It's name is Joan." I pulled the barrel down, making the upper fold down. "It's chambered for 5.56 millimeter rounds. It can shoot-" I paused, having no clue about the fire rate. "A lot of rounds per minute." I slid the bolt out and put the rest of the rifle down on the hard wood beside me. "It's a tool, and I'm not scared of it." Fluttershy glanced at the rifle. "Why would you be scared of a tool?" I inspected the bolt, looking it for carbon build up. "Because it's the most dangerous thing I've ever worked with." I scraped my finger against a small bit of black build up on the extractor. "This rifle has been with me for a long time, and it has killed a lot of people." Fluttershy stayed quiet as I worked. I dug a cleaning kit from my bag. "A long time ago, someone very special to me taught me how to shoot. I was terrified, and really bad at. He would say everything about any gun he passed to me, and remind me it's a tool." I took a wire brush out and rubbed it against the whole assembly. Paying attention to any build up. I sighed. "And now I do it to myself. It helps me stay focused." I moved the rest of the rifle to my lap, and grabbed an oil rag from the kit and wiped it down. "And plus, all my favorite rifles are named Joan, it's a pretty name." Fluttershy nodded. Apparently seeing me clean was soothing enough for her to approach me a little bit without flinching. She looked at it. "Is it like that thing you did in my house?" I flinched at that. "Yeah, uh, sorry about that. This is basically a bigger, better, version of that." I hoisted the whole thing up, and eye'd down the barrel. "Plus this one is nicer, it's prettier." She didn't seem to get it, but I didn't for a long time. I pulled out a barrel brush and began to clean out the rifle. I ran it through a couple times and reassembled the whole ordeal. I wasn't giving it a full clean, but no tiny parts around without a table. I heard Fluttershy begin speaking very quietly. "Uhm, can I see it?" I looked at her for a moment. Then nodded. "No mouth holding. You can pick it up with your hooves if you can. Don't touch this." I pointed to the trigger. "And be careful, it's a very precise piece of equipment" Fluttershy looked at it as I leaned it against the couch. She walked up and hoisted it in the crook of her hoof. "It's heavier than I thought." I smiled and nodded. She looked it over and pointed at the lines on the barrel. "What are those?" I thought of my answer. "When I fight things I remember them. If they were really good, or had a really good reason, I'll mark what I used against them." I pointed to the white circle. "That was a mad god who tried to enslave the world." I pointed to the red one. "And that one was a madman, he wanted to burn down an altar to a dark evil that could have driven a whole nation mad." I shrugged. She paled a bit, and passed the rifle back. She then sprinted out the door. I chuckled, before looking around. I wanted to decorate this place, and with God as my witness I will. I looked at the bookcase and reached into my pack. I pulled out a small statue of a troll, and placed it on the top. "Perfect." And that was all I could really do. It was spartan, so I couldn't do much. I looked at the books, then the windowsill. I walked over and picked up my pocket watch. "Hey little buddy. Want a job?" The imp stretched out and looked at me nodding. "I need a translation job, if I pass a book your way can you try to get a rough English translation guide?" The imp flexed his biceps and smirked. I laughed. "Alright little buddy." I propped the pocket watch back up and grabbed a random book on the shelf and opened it to the middle. I placed it in front of the watch and moved back to the couch. I brought out Creepy. He unrolled in my hand and I pet him on the head. "Hey Creepy, you got a moment?" He clicked, which was either yes or no. Either way. "I moved to this place, can I trust you to be my alarm system?" He clicked again and scuttled outside. He then instantly ran back in clicking. I looked to him. "Is it another crazy unicorn?" He clicked once. "Is it purple?" He clicked twice. That was odd. I heard a knock at my door. I moved to the door and pulled it open. And a mint green uniform tried to charge in. I worried about the trip mine, but it was still thankfully off. She began staring at every corner of the room. "Is it true, did I really see a rare xenobiological creature. Is it actually living here?" She began looking at all the like, five things in the room. "This is so fascinating." She began staring at my blanket. I coughed. "Uh, maybe?" She brought a small notebook out of her saddlebags. "Oh my, she's much larger than I thought." She began writing while looking me over. "I wonder of she would let me look under her sleeves?" She tapped her muzzle with her quill. I looked at it in confusion. "I doubt it." She nodded. "Of course Ms. Voice in my head. I hope I can find a way to talk to her though. Her knowing Equestrian is unlikely. Maybe pictures?" I froze. I had seen many things. I had seen empires fall. I had seen worlds burn. I had not seen a small pony that was sure I couldn't speak. "Er, have you tried talking to her?" Lyra stomped. "Of course!" She walked up to me and spoke very slowly. "HELLO. I. AM. LYRA." I wiped the spit from my face. "Yes, you are. If you remember you told me while I was fixing your leg." I pointed to the bald patch on her leg, where there wasn't even a scar to show her former wound. Fancy Unicorns with their fancy bodies. She at least had the decency to look ashamed. "Yeah, I guess you did talk to me then, huh?" I nodded as she resumed staring at everything. "But this is amazing, I've read every myth on humans there is. All extremely contradictory of course. No myth ever seemed to answer any questions from an academic point of view." I sighed. "That's how it goes everywhere. Just don't to be a huge annoyance." I plopped down on the couch and reached in my bag, and reaching for my book. I pawed around before finding it missing. "Shit, it's still at Rarity's." I stared at my bag, frowning. "Well that ruins my plans." Lyra perked up from her notebook. "What plans were those? Are you gonna assault Ponyville? Or maybe your gonna break into the palace?" I sighed. "No, I was gonna read a book. I left it at Rarity's, so now I either have to find a new book or...." I looked at Creepy. "Hey Creepy, wanna job?" He ran up waving back and forth like a top. I knelt down and held out my hand, which he climbed on. I was about to tell him what to do, when Lyra jumped up. "Oh my gosh, what is he?" I glared at her, but it had no effect. I already missed being terrifying. I turned to Creepy. "Run to a carousel looking building and find a book in English. Bring it back, got it?" Creepy raised a leg in a silly little salute, the popped into a ball and rolled off. I turned to Lyra, who was waiting patiently. Or at least waiting quietly while fidgeting. "That's Creepy, he's a little robot that I use for basic jobs. Be careful around him, he's a bit of a coward." She began writing in her little notebook, apparently taking notes. I really needed something to do. I pulled my own notebook out of my bag, and a small box of pencils. "Okay Lyra. Sit still, and I may just answer a few questions." I looked her over and began trying to sketch her. "Also, don't touch the thing beside me. It's dangerous." Lyra sat down and stayed still. "So if you're a human I have so many questions. Like, what are humans like?" She began writing as I tried to make her basic body. It was difficult, mostly due to my own lack of practice. "Varied. Some a beacons of hope, some are evil beyond imagining. Most are just there, like a tree. They'll do what needs to be done, and live their lives." Lyra sat there and wrote for another moment. She then took another look at me. "What do humans eat?" I shrugged, and got her basic shape done. "Whatever. Personally I like chicken and greens, but humans can eat a lot of things if we're desperate." Lyra nodded. "You said chicken, is that the only meat, or can you eat even more?" Her head was nodding, making her mane bob. It was impossible to draw, so I focused on her tail. "Anything that isn't poisonous we can eat. We have preferences though. Some animals I'd never eat though. horse, dog, cat. That sort of thing." I pulled my eyes across her form. The muzzle seemed to stay still, so I focused on it next. Lyra seemed to have found her next distraction. "So what is your culture like?" I barked out a quick laugh. Which she then wrote down. "To many to count. I've seen hundreds that I can remember, and most of those I couldn't tell much about. Humanity's super fractured. Though, whenever a bigger threat shows up we close ranks and hold our own. Mostly." I'd done a respectable job of her I thought. I glanced at her mane, now flopped over one eye. Perfect. I began sketching that. "Don't move a muscle for a minute." She froze for a moment as I managed to finish her mane. I nodded. "Your good." She quirked her head at me. "Good at what?" I flipped the notebook over as I spoke. "Well if your taking notes I'm drawing. How's it look?" Lyra looked at it, and furiously wrote with magic while staring. "You can draw like that? I figured with your sword and stuff you were a guard. But you must be an artist or something." I shook my head. "I'm whatever keeps me alive. I'll admit by now I probably fight like a caged demon, but I don't only fight. I draw, I read, I even occasionally cook." I looked at my pack, it was barely big enough for my plate carriers and swords, but it had what I wanted right now. "Speaking of, it's dinner time. You got any carrots or something?" Lyra shook her head, and gasped as I began withdrawing a camp set from my bag, and a pot that barely fit in it. "How in the hay?" I smiled and waved my fingers. "Magic." I snapped and ignited my little campfire, before gesturing to Lyra. "Go grab about ten apples from the field, I'll find a way to pay Applejack back later." Lyra stared and debated whether to listen or not and ran off. I fished out some spices and the last of my fruits. I began mincing them, and throwing spices into the water. I liked to add spice first, then the food. I waited a moment, and a knock issued from my door. Sighing I got up, opened it, and slammed in the password. I walked in again without even checking the door. "Lyra, put the apples by the pot." No apples appeared by my pot. I looked up, at Twilight sparkle staring at me in curiosity, and an under current of fear. I shrugged it off and waved. "Oh, sorry Twilight Lyra came by, so I drafted her to help make dinner." Twilight walked in, with a table behind her. I clapped as she stared. "What do you mean, drafted her?" I quickly ran up and wrenched the table away, before setting it in front of the couch. "Told her to fetch me a few apples, I needed some for the stew. You're free to join us." I said, before dumping my minced fruit into the bowl. Another knock at the door, and I gestured to Twilight. While she handled that I began stirring my meal. I sipped at the broth. Acceptable, though not great. "Needs cinnamon." I poured in a touch, and tried again. Stew is awesome. I glanced as Lyra made her way inside. "Yo, need some apples. Stat." Apples were levitated, only to be brutally chopped by my knife. I dumped them in the broth and smiled. Lyra looked at it. "So is this authentic human food?" I stirred it a bit. "I guess. It's just a stew." I stirred it again, and took another sip. "Hmmm, maybe some more pepper?" I reached into my spice kit and gently spread some more pepper in. One more sip later and I nodded. "And now we wait." The ponies began quietly swapping notes. After a few minutes Twilight walked up. "Hey Draitha, Lyra said you sketched her?" I nodded, and gestured towards my notebook on the floor beside me. She picked it up and looked it over. "How long did it take to sketch this?" I shrugged, and checked over the stew. Almost done. "Probably six or seven minutes. I could only do it in pieces. Harp butt over there kept moving." Twilight looked it over again before nodding. I sat still for a moment before Twilight turned to Lyra. "Hey Lyra, could you run out to the library and grab the book on my mantle? Celestia asked me to have a few words with Draitha here." Lyra grumbled, but walked out. Her notebook went with her, but the quill was scratching the entire time. I looked at Twilight as I took another sip of the stew. "It's done. I'll grab a bowl for you." I reached into my bag and grabbed two bowls and two spoons. I used my ladle to pour the bowls, before putting both on the table, and sitting on the couch. Twilight looked at it. "Thank you. I don't want to do this, but I need to see your... your pack." My eyebrows charged up my head, and established a beachhead on my forehead. I tried to mount a defense, but they stayed. "My pack? Are you entirely sure what you're asking? You don't mean my bag?" She nodded, but there was hesitance. I shrugged, and stripped down to my bra. I waited a moment, before taking a sip of my stew. It was good, a nice simple stew. I looked at Twilight, who was staring in horror. "Would you like to meet them?" She nodded, but it was slow. I tapped a nail in my right forearm. A head popped up. A robot face appeared. It had a blocky cylinder like head. A large blue glow from the middle. His black metallic hand was in frame, and making a peace symbol. twilight stared. "Who was he?" I tapped the nail again. "Ethan, some intelligent robot I paired up with. He was a good guy. He saved my life, I saved his. In the end I watched him set himself to self destruct to destroy an enemy stronghold." That wasn't necessarily true, but close enough. I rubbed the nail. "He died, I left. Same is true for every nail." I tapped another nail, then another, then another. I lit up almost every nail. I had said a name with each one, but I left of Macready's. I didn't want to share. I grabbed my spoon and had another bite of soup. Twilight seemed stunned. "Why did you do it though?" I shrugged. "I move to much for a graveyard, and I need to keep my friends with me. Now they'll never leave. Besides, the pain helps keep me focused." Twilight bolted up. "Those things still hurt? Like, you don't have a painkiller or anything?" I shook my head. "No, I want to feel it. All of these people died for me, I bleed for them. Fair trade." Twilight shook her head. "But would they want you too?" I bit back my first response. Yelling wouldn't help anyone. "Who cares?" Twilight looked at me. "I care. It hurts, and that's not good." I poked at my stew, trying to ignore her. She just calmly stared at me. Finally I snapped. "I've heard it all before, so just drop it ok?" I could tell she didn't want to, but I saw her levitate up the spoon beside the other bowl. The rest of the meal passed in silence. I picked up both bowls when we were done, and put them on the corner of the table. "Where's Lyra?" I asked, while trying to find some form of conversation. I hated being alone. Twilight seemed to grab onto the conversation like a drowning man with a raft. "I told Pinkie to distract her until you were done talking to Princess Celestia." I thought of the pink ball of hyper and sweets. "Is that a war crime or something? It seems cruel to tell her to focus on any one person, er pony." I rubbed the back of my head, but Twilight giggled. "Maybe." She replied. "but I needed you alone for a minute. Besides, Celestia will be here soon." I nodded and set the small camp stove to low heat. The stew would keep for a while. I dragged myself up, feeling happy and full. "Well, while we wait on the boring princess I'm going to watch a movie." I could see Twilight try to ignore my jab at Celestia. It was like watching a balloon resist being inflated. I smiled as I dug around for a minute in my bag. I pulled out a large tablet, maybe twelve inches. I began turning it on as Twilight looked over my shoulder. I managed to get signed on when I heard a click behind me. I turned to see Creepy with my book on his head. "Hey, good work buddy." I picked up the book and put it on the table. "Back to your job Creepy, stay safe" He waved a leg and scuttled back outside. Twilight stared at the book as I switched my tablet to a video player and leaned it against the book. I turned on some red vs blue, and began watching. "I hate this show." I said, while leaning back. I smiled as it played. Twilight however, was annoyed. "What are they saying?" I frowned, but responded. "The translator won't work on this, they're speaking my language." Twilight began taking notes as they talked. I laughed at a few moments, which made Twilight flinch, but I appreciated that she stayed. I liked having people around. After a few episodes I paused it. "Hey, do you want to hear some of our music?" She nodded shyly. I closed the show and looked at the playlist on this tablet, then stared at Twilight. I figured rock wasn't her deal, or pop music. Librarian, I had known a librarian, but she listened to rock and grunge. I shrugged and pulled up country as a choice that maybe she wouldn't hate. "Ever heard of Johnny Cash?" She shook her head and I thumbed on 'God's gonna cut you down'. I started tapping my foot, and sang along. Twilight began taking notes I hummed with the instruments and sang with the lyrics. At the end of it I smiled at Twilight. "I hate that song." Twilight finally looked at me again. "Why do you keep saying that? You've said it about everything." I giggled. "Running joke. Remember Francis?" She nodded, staring at the bare skin where the nail lay. i spoke over her distraction. "Well he hated everything, after that I just started saying that about everything. It makes me smile." Twilight stared at my tablet as I tapped it again, and Powerwolf blared out. She flinched back. I laughed as she made a frustrated noise. "You are an impossible creature." She pointed at me while talking "Everytime I start thinkig I get closer to understanding you you change. It's like you're a million people in one. " I shrugged. "Maybe I am, you never know." I wiggled my eyebrows while trying to look serious. I know that it doesn't work, and Twilight let out a little giggle. I laughed too. "Here, in response to my annoying personality let's see if my buddy has translated your language yet." I gestured to my pocket watch, and raised an eyebrow. "After all, it's not everyday you get to decode a new language." Level Five - Low PointOkay, Father forgive my sins. I may not have told Twilight exactly what my little buddy was. Her reaction to a small imp shoved into a pocket watch was... loud. It took us about two minutes to calm her down. The imp tried to help, but couldn't stop laughing. I think he liked being a scary demon for a little bit and not just my countdown-slash-translator. I stared as Twilight righted herself. "You have a demon...." I nodded. "And you store it in a pocket watch to act as a timer." Another nod, I'm a master of conversation. "And you talk to it." I finally picked up the pocket watch and looked at it. "She just called you an it little buddy." He huffed and blew out his cheeks. i turned him towards Twilight and he stuck out his tongue. I was so proud of him. Twilight made a face at him while I turned him back towards me. "So do you have something yet?" He nodded and pulled a piece of paper from a corner I couldn't see. He began writing a basic translation guide for me, and I copied it. I started talking to Twilight at the same time. "Though, I suppose I should call him something. He's kind of a new addition to my team." I started thinking of different names as Twilight walked up. "Sorry, I guess. It's just that you seem to have a literal demon as a clock." She pointed at him. "Plus he can just casually read any language. That's hardly normal." I shrugged. "Yeah, but this imp doesn't really read in the same way as mortals. I don't get it, but it's useful." I looked the imp in his eyes. "How's Crowley sound?" The imp nodded vehemently. I held Crowley up to Twilight. "Say hi to Crowley Twilight." She stared at Crowley for a minute, before stammering. "H-hello Crowley." She looked disturbed by the imp in the watch, but he was a literal demon, but that wasn't my problem. I looked at my notes. I couldn't write a properly formatted letter, but I could probably stumble through anything non-technical. As long as it wasn't technical, or used proper grammar. yeah this is gonna be rough. I looked at the bookshelf, and decoded the titles. "Seriously, all the books are on apples?" Twilight stared. "Wait, your translation worked?" She rushed over and looked at the notes I had jotted down. She stared at them, before her scroll popped into existence. "This isn't the greatest translation, but I bet with this I could get a working guide." I swear her scroll was gonna set fire with how fast her quill was scratching across the paper. We sat for a minute, chilling out. I'd missed being able to calmly hang out. We sat without talking for a while. Twilight scratching away notes while I sat watching. It was nice to have a quiet moment with someone. I smiled listening to her mutter about language and different syntax. I decided to do the only kind thing, and distract her. "So, anybody you trying to fuck?" She turned an impressive shade of read. I didn't know it COULD show through fur that well. She sputtered. "I-We- Why?" She deflated as her quill and scroll fell to the floor. I smiled. "Because you're adorable when you blush." Twilight looked like she was about to comment, but a knock on the door cut her off. I stood slowly and stretched. Before walking to the door. I glanced at the purple goddess in front of me. It was a minor surprise. I waved Luna in while looking behind her. "Hello there Luna, I was expecting your sister." I looked around for my guard, who was cowering behind Luna staring at me. Little brass coward. Luna snorted as she walked in. "Tia hast had an unexpected issue thrust upon her. We are here to perform her so called trust exercise in her stead." She moved to Twilight and waved with a hoof. "Hello there Twilight. We are most pleased to see you." Twilight was still struggling to keep her blush under control, and barely managed a "Got to go Princess!" Before bolting out of my open door. I chuckled as she left. I turned to face Luna who was raising an eyebrow at Twilight's antics. The gesture looked very imperious on her. "Yeah." I said, moving to the couch. "She's a cute girl, flustered easily though." Luna nodded. "Indeed. Now, we have foregone court tonight. We doubt anypony is coming tonight. They rarely do." Se sat on the floor beside the couch. "So, shall you select a memory, or should we suggest an idea." I shrugged. "You're more fun than your sister. I'll take requests." I leaned back and Luna fell into silence. I started singing under my breath. I was halfway through a rousing muttering of Panic In The Pentagram before Luna seemed to reach a decision. She stood up and spoke. "We would like to see a memory that scared you. One that you think may have changed you irrecoverably." I blew out a whistle. "You don't pull any punches, do you Princess." Luna shook her head. "Nay, we have experience in that field, and it would allow us the best view into you. If you would like another memory, we will allow it easily." I grumped back. "You'll allow whatever I decide, I don't take orders." I flopped my hands across my chest and chewed my lip. I sighed before speaking. "Fine, but additional rules with it. Nobody besides Celestia hears it, and I reserve the right to be silent for a bit afterwards. If you wanna stay until I'll talk then fine." I stood up, and sat back down in front of Luna. She nodded, and her midnight glow enveloped my face. *** "Marks, you damn fool, what did you do?" I looked up at the vampire standing beside me. I was patching up a hole in the train drivers leg. It would have been easier if the train hadn't been moving. Marks chuckled, while reloading his revolver. "I thought that was obvious White, I shot him." I yelled at him while twisting a tourniquet on the drivers leg. "Well why? He was gonna stop the train." I moved a bandage from my bag onto the wound. Marks spun the revolver shut, and reholstered it. "Well, there was a change of plans." I looked at the patched leg, before jumping up and in Marks face. "And what change is that?" Marks calmly took one step back. Then kicked the brakes lever off it's holder and nodded at it. "We're gonna crash this whole train to kill the senator, then loot the crash." I stared. I had been running with this gang for a few months. While they killed, it was always a sort of Robin Hood thing, no useless murder. "BUT THERE'S INNOCENT PEOPLE HERE!" Marks nodded. "But I doubt anyone will cry for the left over snacks we killed." I threw a punch that knocked Marks onto his ass. "No, we are stopping this..." I stared at the broken brakes. "What have you done Marks." He rubbed his cheek, and frowned for the first time since I met him. "Sorry White, but this is what Ghoulie said to do. I tried to tell him to cut you out, that you wouldn't want any part of it." He got up and stood calmly. "But he said you needed to see what an extreme response was." I stared at him. I liked Marks, which was weird for a vampire. He made sure to keep his 'snacks' alive, and didn't infect people. He also was very attractive, which helped keep me from shooting him. Eye candy is a fair defense from bullet wounds in my world. It was a failing defense. I resisted the urge to shoot him, and then looked at the tracks. A turn was coming up, and the train would hop the tracks soon. "get me off this thing, then I'll need to talk to ghoulie." Marks wrapped me in a hug, which was nice. Then he jumped, with me in his arms. He landed smoothly and whispered in my ear. "Keep your eyes close White, you don't need to see this." I had seen worse, but I listened. Eyes shut, I heard the clang of a train jumping track, then the screams, then I heard the loud crashes. They continued for what felt like years. I was numb, letting the sounds roll into me like waves. After a lifetime they stopped, and Marks released me. "Okay White, go back home. I'll take care of this." I could tell a kindness when I saw it, and nodded while turning away. I refused to look behind me as I followed the tracks. I made it back to our home within an hour. It wasn't special, just a prettied up cave really, but it was home. Emphasis on was, I had already decided to pack up and leave tonight. I wasn't sure how long I was stuck here, but I couldn't live another day with these murderers. I made it to my room and drew a curtain over the alcove. I turned to face my stuff. I sighed as Ghoulie was sitting in my chair. I sighed and moved to sit on my bed. "Not now boss, I need a minute." Ghoulie let out a chuckle, which through his scarred vocal chords sounded more like a growl. "I would imagine so. I could hear the train crash from here." I glared at him. "Yeah, I'm sure everyone else on that train was laughing at your little plan too." Ghoulie kept his face neutral, which was easy since he didn't have much of a face. "It was a cruel plan, but a necessary one. The train was full of people like the senator, and those that weren't were an acceptable loss. You know what we are fighting against." I stood up and stabbed a finger towards him, barely keeping my off hand steady. "We're fighting murderers and villains, not becoming them. There's a damn line boss, and we just crossed it." Ghoulie stayed infuriatingly calm. "We did not just cross it, because if that is the line we crossed it long before you joined." I stared at him while the anger grew inside me. I counted to myself for a minute, then two. I finally got myself under control before gesturing to the door. "Out Ghoulie, I'm grabbing my stuff and leaving." Ghoulie shook his head. "I'm sorry to say you aren't." I rested my hand on my revolver, but felt a cold touch of steel kiss my neck. Ghoulie gestured to me. "Put her in the hole for five days, give her enough water for two. She'll be more amiable afterwards." I felt rough hands grab me, pulling me into a standing position, and then pushing me towards my curtain. I also felt a hand take my revolver out of it's holster on my thigh. I was shoved out of the cave, where it appeared everyone had left. They might not have been there on my way in, but it was the first time I had actually seen the cave empty. I was moved maybe a mile away from the cave, before being walked up to a deep hole. There was a large wood panel beside it, and it was maybe eight feet deep. I stared at it, before a voice behind me spoke. "Get in it." I stared at the hole, and considered my options. I could just try to fight off my captors, but I'd probably get shot. Also Ghoulie said I would get enough water to stay alive, so living beat out possible living. I jumped in, and the wood panel was shut behind me, leaving me in darkness. I spent the first bit of time in the hole singing. I couldn't remember words to songs that well, but I made them up. I sang and sang until my voice gave out. I also spent the time searching my pockets and bag for any light source, but found none. I could live with the darkness, but the cramped space was bad. I could barely sit down, and I bumped my shoulders or elbows on the walls every time I moved. I also looked for a way to tell time, but the only thing I had was a pocket watch, which did not light up. I thought of taking a pull from the canteen they left, but I needed to make the water last. I started scratching at the stone wall to pass the time. I stopped scratching when I felt blood drip from my palm. I decided whatever time had passed meant I could take a drink, so I drank a single large sip of water. I stared at the darkness for an unknown amount of time. This sucked. Like, a lot. I moved to scratch my head, bumping the wall again. "Damn." Time passed, but I couldn't tell how much. My two days of water were out, and I'd fallen asleep several times. I hadn't bothered counting. I had hit the walls every time I moved, and was beginning to get twitchy about it. I thought I'd made the water last, but I was delirious towards the end. At least, I'm pretty sure a smurf didn't talk to me, so I was probably a bit crazy then. I fell asleep again, I felt bad cutting off the polite knock I heard though. I woke up and heard more knocking from the wall in front of me. I debated my options. I couldn't open a door, so the obvious answer was to knock back. Well it wasn't but I was hardly thinking right. I knocked back, and tried to back away as part of the wall collapsed. I hit the wall, and scrambled on it, trying to find purchase to get farther away from the collapsing wall. I found none, and hyperventilated as a man lit a small match from the new hole. I relaxed as he lit a cigarette, and then brought out a small deck of cards. He began shuffling cards. I looked him over. He had gaunt features under a leather hat. A small hole was visible the forehead, as if it had been shot off his head, but seeing as he was shuffling cards I assumed it hadn't. We didn't speak for a few moments, with only the soft sounds of moving cards filling the hole. He broke the silence by speaking in a coarse voice. "Well then, do you have time for a quick game?" I tried to shrug, then flinched as I hit the wall. "I guess." He passed me a card, which I held up to the smoke and saw it was a six of clubs. He took another drag, lighting up the hole a little more. So, will you play your hand, or fold?" I flipped the card in my hand, and felt the familiar weight of a revolver where a card used to be. I could barely see anything specific about it, but it was a tool. One I could use to escape. "I'll play." The man nodded, and disappeared. I stared at the spot he was before waving at it. "Bye-bye." I held the pistol up and fired it at the hole where he stood. I know it was a horrible idea, since a bullet might have ricocheted into me, but it didn't even fire a round. Instead pure force exited the barrel, burrowing out a rough trench that let glorious moonlight fly into my hole. I dived through the hole, crawling to the surface. I took a deep breath as my head broke the surface. I moved out of the hole and looked around. Goody goody for me there was a river nearby, which I ran towards. After reaching it I dunked my head in and drank from the river. I drank until I threw up, then drank some more. After filling myself I fell onto my ass. I knew I needed food next, but that was a problem for later.I looked at the sky for the moon, which I found near the edge of the sky. After a quick internal argument I decided it was setting and decided to wait until dawn. Since I was out, it was time for some good old fashioned revenge. Dawn had broken, and I was proven wrong in my guess. The group of people walking towards the hole showed that my five days was up. They stopped briefly at my tunneled escape route before I heard a voice on the wind. "I told you damn fools it was a bad idea. Ghoulie said he'd let her leave." I recognized that voice. That was Marks. He spoke again. "That girls got the devils fire in her, she'll be burning to even the score now." The other voices were quieter, and I stayed even lower on the river bank, trying to keep myself hidden in the early morning light. The voices debated longer, until they split up to look in different areas. One began walking towards the river, leaving me to duck into the small bank and try to hear them approach. It didn't take long. I heard soft footsteps on the gravel, and an unfamiliar voice. "This is bullshit, she'd be half starved, and ain't nobody gonna take us in that state" I glanced up from my prone position and saw the toe of a boot. I heard a match strike and smirked. I reached up and pulled the leg down into the small ditch with me. Shock kept him quiet on the fall, my hand kept him quiet after. He began trying to struggle, but I forced an arm around his neck. I began applying pressure. "Nap or snap asshole, your choice." The struggles slowed as he realized his predicament. I removed my hand as his body began to relax, the pulled hard back. I felt his neck pop out of joint, as he spasmed. I rolled him off me. I probably should have felt bad about snapping his neck after saying he'd live. But I didn't. I peeked out of my ditch. The flat desert land offered no cover, and I checked my gear. Which was only the revolver. I held the revolver in my hands. It was a scarred and ugly thing, but it was apparently enough of a beast to burrow through stone. In a surprising moment of lucid thought I realized I didn't know the range. I holstered it and looked at the body beside me. I began searching him for anything, and found a veritable gold mine. Sure there was a nice lever action and a few spare rounds, but that wasn't the greatest treasure. Two apples were in his bag, which I stared at reverently. I devoured them like a starving hyena. I had to fight to keep them down, but I wasn't going to lose my first meal in days. The important work done, I inspected the rifle. No clue on the branding, but it had a seven round tube, and maybe two spare reloads. I popped the lever, finding a round in the chamber. I clapped it shut and peeked again. A few of the group had noticed their missing man, and were scanning the blank desert skyline. I heard a rough voice. "Damn fool must have fallen in the river, someone go grab him, or get his stuff if he drowned." I bared my teeth. That coarse, rocky voice could only belong to one person. Ghoulie. I waited until I heard footsteps again, this time much softer. I recognized the foot falls. That was Marks when he was trying to be heard. He paused a few feet from the edge, and spoke. "White, I know your here. I can smell you." I cursed, damn vampires. "Fuck. Yeah, and you have three seconds before I turn you into hamburger." I heard a few steps as Marks empty hands came out from the edge of the ditch. Now I couldn't shoot him if I wanted, he basically surrendered. "Now, you're gonna shout out your gonna have to swim after his dumb ass and lay down beside me." He did, and hid himself similarly. There was an awkward moment of silence as he stared at me. "So, you're probably gonna kill them, huh?" I glared at him. "No shit, and I'm only debating killing you because your cute." I paused a moment. "And you tried to get me off the mission. Though the fact you were on it means I might still kill you." Marks nodded. "Look, I can't make an argument against that if your mad, so I guess I'll just have to hope. I will throw out that since you're not in the hole Ghoulie said we're supposed to kill you on sight." I looked at him. "You're inching towards staying alive." I thought for a moment. "Though since you're a vampire you could probably just kill me first." Marks shrugged. "Maybe, but you fight like Old Scratch himself. I would like to avoid that fight." I nodded. I was also thinking of ways to kill him if I decided to. Not now of course, it would definitely make the others come over to me. Marks voice interrupted me. "See, now that face says your already thinking of how to kill me. That's what I'm trying to avoid." I laughed. Before sitting up slightly and cradling the rifle. "Making me laugh is a good step. So here's your road to redemption, help me kill all the goons. If you do that and leave Ghoulie to me I'll consider leaving you alive much more seriously. Marks nodded, and reached for his rifle. I nodded, and he mirrored my position. He peeked out. "Counting Ghoulie we got four more folks with us. Their not really your type of people. I think the only one you really know is Jack." I smiled. I hated Jack. Marks continued. "So, are we shooting now, or you want me to call them over?" I peeked over the ditch. One was semi-close. I peeked out and managed to pop a round through his head. I heard shouts before the body even hit the dirt. I ducked back low and smiled at Marks. "I don't think they'll listen." Marks groaned and peeked over the ditch. He heard a shout for his name and kept quiet. But he brought his rifle to bear and fired a round. I heard more shouts following the rifles report, and Marks ducked back down. He flashed me a grin. "I think they know where we are." I worked the lever of my rifle. "Damn." I said nonchalantly. "I was hoping for the element of surprise." I peeked again, and a few rounds dusted the ground around me. I quickly hit the deck and glared at the ridge. Then I softened. "You are a good ridge, you stop bullets." I thought of the situation. There had been five folks, now there were two. Ghoulie and one other. I looked over the ground before remembering my bag. I pulled out my pocket watch. The silver body shined mirror-bright. Exacty what I wanted. I peeked it over the ridge and saw an approaching figure. I couldn't hit him without catching a bullet, but I could stop him. I held the rifle one-handed above the ditch and shot a round in his direction. He ducked low, and I took the opportunity to peek. As I did a boot impacted my head, knocking me on my back. It also knocked me into Marks, throwing us both off our game. The rifle clattered the floor. I saw Jacks ugly smiling mug, raising a pistol slowly. The cocky bastard opened his mouth to gloat. I didn't let him. I rolled to the side Drawing my new revolver. I fired it once. A blast of force erupted, throwing my hands skyward with the recoil. Jacks was knocked back, and red blood bloomed across my vision. The body flew off into the distance, and an evil grin split my face. "That's why you don't mess with White Justice you fuckin' prick!" Marks stared from his prone position. I spun the revolver on one finger, before standing up and looking at the desert. I spotted Ghoulie standing dumbstruck at the ditch. I began walking towards him and his pistol dropped from his hand. I walked up, and smelled ammonia. I smiled. "Hey Ghoulie.... What was that whole thing about not being allowed to leave again?" He stuttered and tried to back away, falling on his ass instantly. I raised the pistol to him. "I'm White Justice damnit. That name ain't a name. Pure wild justice is who I am, and you gotta answer for a lot of innocent lives." His head shook back and forth. "We had to, it was the only way. They hunted folks like me, folks like all of us. They even gave us that damn name." I nodded, and spoke with fake care. "I know, they called you Dead Man's Hand. A gang of dead men, ones that fought for justice against people hunting you for things you can't control." I thumbed back the hammer. "But if it makes you feel better, I'm hunting you because you're a murderous bastard." I pulled the trigger, burying Ghoulie six feet deep into the dirt. Six feet deep... I thought it over in my head, before looking over the pistol. "Six deep, that's your name." The pistol didn't seem to care, so it fit. A voice spoke up. "So, how are you?" Marks voice caused me to jump back. I lowered the pistol slightly, looking him over. He smiled and stretched out his arms a little. "What, still gonna kill me?" I don't think he honestly expected the shot that blew off his legs, but it didn't matter. I looked him over cooly. I was justice, and he had killed innocents. I looked him over on the ground as he squirmed. "No, but I won't let you live either." I felt the pull on my legs. It was time for me to leave. As Marks began cursing me from the ground I saw a man in the distance. He held up his deck of cards and smiled at me. The last thing I saw as I dropped was him mouthing a single sentence. Play your hand. I felt the pull of a jump, and saw the white hole beneath me. I nodded to Marks, and fell from the world. Author's Note Quick note, the bag she has here isn't the infinite one she has in Equestria. Also comments are still loved you beautiful people. Level Six - Spooked HorseI awoke on my couch, with my bag on my chest. I was still wearing my clothes, the Taurus was still on my chest. I smiled softly, and spoke. "You still there Luna?" I heard a soft affirmative hum from my bookshelf. I had to chastise myself that this wasn't my house. I kept my eyes closed as I woke up. I heard Luna speak. "We know thou said that thou would need a moment before questions, so we will hold them for a moment." I made a grunt that could be construed as a thank you with some stretching, and opened my bag blindly, grabbing for a pack of smokes. I went through two before opening my eyes. It was night time, so I wasn't out for an exceptionally long time. I glanced and saw Luna trying to communicate with Crowley. I watched for a moment before shaking my head and lighting a third smoke. "Okay, shoot. What do you want to know?" Luna looked to me, and I have to say I looked a sight. The smoke wafting from my cigarette shrouded my face, and I knew myself to know I looked ready to kill. My sword had been resting by the couch, but I knocked it into my hand with a combat boot and looked it over. She seemed to be displeased with my look, but not disgusted. More sad. She cleared her throat before speaking. "White Justice?" That was a good ice breaker. I let out a tired laugh. "Yeah. It was the name of some dead vigilante I stumbled upon. I took over for her while I was stuck there. I kinda played it as a hero of justice the whole time. It was... nice" I forced the last word out. It wasn't a lie, at least discounting the last few days. Luna nodded and thought for a moment. "What was the weapon thou got from the man?" I smiled. Nice, non-personal questions. Luna was best princess. "It's a Gun. Capital G." I put my hand in the bag and thought. Bringing out Six Deep required concentration, like it had to be called from very far away. I eventually got it, and pulled it out. "This is one of the 52 Guns. Weapons of unbelievable power, but also attract a ton of trouble. They tend to have supernatural abilities. After experimenting I found that Six Deep sends out a six foot long spear of force. It will blow apart anything in it's path, or burrow six feet into the ground. I only really figured all that out later though. At the time I thought it was just a weird cursed item." I shrugged and spun it around on one finger, before wiping it off. "It can also be turned into a card." I spun it across my palm, and as I regripped the gun I felt it shift into the six of spades card. Luna looked shocked at it, before shaking it off and nodding. "That seems to be a strange artifact indeed." She paused, scrunching up her face. "If you would be fine, I think I should move to the unpleasant questions now." It was a declaration, not a question. I sighed and took a long drag. "Yeah, let's start the rain on my parade." Luna smiled at me. "I will try my hardest to make this painless. I think we should start with the obvious. Did you need to kill all of them?" I knew the question was coming, but I still flinched at it. I spoke after a moment, and slowly. "I would do it again." I paused. "But that's not what you meant." I took another drag, playing with my fingers. "I think that Marks might not have deserved the brutality, but I couldn't just kill him. He might have drank Ghoulie's blood, managed to regrow his legs, and lived a full unlife. Honestly I don't care. He murdered a lot of people, and that's not what White would have wanted." Luna seemed confused by this, her muzzle pursing slightly. "Surely you mean that is not what you wanted?" I shrugged. "Well when I travel I normally try to adopt the personality of who I find. I did it first to blend in, but as it went on I just found it easier. White Justice did her thing because she felt that there wasn't any justice, I just kept the torch for a while." Luna stared at me for a while. I fidgeted under it for a few seconds, then remembered she could probably turn me into all manner of unsavory creatures, which made me fidget more. I waited under her glare until she sighed. "How long have you done that?" I shrugged again. "Dunno, it was kind of the normal thing I did since I started jumping, and God knows how long that was." Luna's hoof touched the bridge of her muzzle. "Very well. I think that that is all the questions required. Truth be told Celestia also sent me because she decided you would talk more to me than her. Something about Mr. Friendly." I smiled at that. "Yeah, I blew her up a little bit. I think she took offense." Luna stared at me, then stared at something behind the couch. I felt my blood run cold as I heard Celestia's voice behind me. "In his defense, I ignored his warnings." So there I was, trapped in a barn between two goddesses. I took quick stock of my options before Luna's head had time to turn to me. I rolled of the couch, and flicked my wrist, disabling the trip mine on the window. I rolled out of it, gaining a few cuts from broken glass along the way. I hit the dirt and rolled across the floor, feeling pain as my nails stabbed deeper into my skin. I got up without slowing, and ran. After ten minutes and hitting the outskirts of Ponyville I noticed my plan had been stupid. I had run like a spooked horse from what amounted to an extra house guest. Then again, when the house guest could nuke you it was a far better plan. Plus she hadn't been invited in. I glanced at my sleeves and could see the small wet spots where blood was seeping, as well as a few scratches from glass. I thought over my options before looking at the town. I remembered that Fluttershy's house hadn't been to far from here, I could walk there, get her to look me over, and hope the stupid princesses wouldn't look there. I made my way quietly to Fluttershy's cottage under the cover of night. Several ponies appeared to be out, but none seemed particularly attentive. I managed to get to the cottage within an hour. I stood at the door a moment before knocking. A small rabbit opened the door looking very grumpy. He looked at me with crossed arms. I divined he was asking what I was here for, and pointed towards the several holes in me. He looked at them, looked at me, then shook his head once. Then paused, and nodded his head a few times before shutting the door. I was left feeling oddly disturbed. But I had also been stopped by a bunny bodyguard, so I swallowed the feeling and waited some more. It wasn't a long wait. I heard Fluttershy scream a loud "WHAT!?!?" Only a few moments after the bunny left, before the door was wrenched open and Fluttershy stared at me, then at my rapidly moistening sleeves. She stared hard before I spoke. "So neighbor, could I bother you for a cup of sugar?" The joke did not fly. In fact I believe I heard it explode as I was pushed by Fluttershy into her living room. I can not put words to what happened next, but I know whatever happened ended with me having to roll up sleeves for Fluttershy to look over my wounds while my plate carrier was suddenly leaned against the door. Fluttershy looked over my nails as they oozed blood. "Well, the cuts aren't bad and the-" She shuddered once. "previous injuries are going to be fine. I could get a mage in here to heal it in the morning, but for now I can only bandage them." I shook my head. "Nah, if they're all good I can heal it. Honestly I just needed a safe place to hide from your oh so benevolent rulers." I said the last bit with venom while I placed my left hand on right arm. I pushed my energy into it, and the soft green glow of the ring covered my arm. The gashes healed, and the bloody nails seemed less fresh. I moved the ring to another hand, and repeated the process on my opposite arm. I ended up without any open wounds, and a Fluttershy with a towel dabbing blood off my arms. She continued quietly for a moment, until my arms were mostly blood free. She moved to a small corner of the room and dropped the towel in a small basket. She sat down in front of me and looked me in the eyes. "So, if you don't mind I mean, what happened with the princess?" I groaned. Then looked at Fluttershy's waiting expression, then I groaned again. "I ain't getting out of this huh?" Fluttershy smiled and said nothing. I decided the best course of action was to just tell her everything. "Well Luna had come to check me tonight, and it was going fine. Then when I came to from the stupid spell we had a wonderful question and answer session. Then Celestia popped out of nowhere, I freaked out and jumped out the window. Rolled on all my nails, then ran to town out of fear. Then I was bleeding so I went here for a check up." Fluttershy nodded and moved closer, tapping my shoulder with a hoof. "It's okay. Honestly Celestia should have known better, you don't seem to like surprises." I nodded, stretching out. "Well, they wrecked any sense of security in my safe house, mind if I hang here for a while?" Fluttershy nodded. "Stay as long as you like, I'm going to go back to sleep, though if you need anything feel free to wake me." I watched her go up the small stairwell to her bedroom, before getting up myself and re-donning my plate carrier. I pulled the revolver and rested it in my hand, before resting. What I was doing couldn't be called sleep, but if you squinted hard it might fit nap. Time passed faster, and I got got something that could be mistaken in the wrong light, for sleep. I noticed the sun rising much quicker than it should as I rested, and Fluttershy come down and go outside much faster than she ever moved. I kept resting as she came back in and sang in the kitchen. I was only roused when Twilight busted in the room. Of course by roused I mean pointing the revolver at her with a grunt, which caused her to go very still and quiet. I blinked the sleep out of my eyes before lowering the pistol. "Oh, Hi Mark." I said it in my best Tommy Wiseu voice. Twilight stared at me, before disregarding and ignoring my meme. "You know, Princess Celestia was very annoyed at you running out on her." I snorted. "Well she shouldn't break into my safe house, now I have to find a new place." Twilight rolled her eyes. "Of course, because when a goddess can break in whats the point." I could taste the sarcasm, but every comedy show needed a straight man. "Obviously, if she can get in without my permission it's not safe. I need to make a new safe house." Twilight ran past without another word. She made it to the kitchen and tapped Fluttershy on the back. "Fluttershy, we have a problem." Fluttershy looked up and made an o shape with her mouth. They talked quietly for a moment, before an agreement was made. Fluttershy walked up, and smiled at me. "Draitha, we have a teensy tiny dragon problem. So please don't be to scared. The princess said this one is a job for the guards. Apparently it's very... proud." I thought this over, before shaking my head. "Nah, I gotta earn my tiny barn somehow. Tell me where and send word to the princess. I'll get rid of it." Twilight spoke next, with a shocked air about her. "You can't be serious." I shrugged. "Oh yeah, it's boring without a good fight around here, besides I love helping." Twilight thought it over before nodding. "We'll send guards after you, just don't pick a fight." I got directions to a small mountain nearby, and made my way out immediately. I began digging in my bag while walking. I thought of the few dragons I had faced. I could go old school and bring out a bow and arrow, but I had already used guns, so I was gonna keep them. I pulled out a disassembled Joan. I snapped her together and stopped, leaning the rifle against my leg. I pulled a sling out of the bag and hooked it to Joan, wrapping the rifle around myself. I put the pack back on my back, before starting my hike again. I followed the forest edge, keeping my eye on the mountain range. I looked up at the smallest mountain. There was a small plume of smoke coming from the middle, with an obvious trail leading to it. I looked up to it. "So I'm going to the misty mountain? The dragon better damn well be named Smaug." I heard wing beats behind me as I began ascending the path, and let them approach. I heard them beat a few times before a boyish voice came from behind me. "And what are you doing?" I shrugged and kicked a loose rock off the path. "Removing a dragon. Not the first time." I saw Rainbow dash float ahead of me. "You're gonna talk a dragon off a mountain alone?" I laughed and showed some teeth. "Honestly, if I manage to talk him down I will be seriously disappointed." I brought my bag to my front and grabbed one of my few fully loaded mags out. I only kept a small supply of mags loaded, mostly for magazines that fit multiple guns. I locked it in place before racking the slide once. Rainbow watched with clinical detachment. We walked in silence for a moment before she spoke. "I don't trust you." I laughed. "Then your the smartest God damned pony here." I brought the revolver out, and checked the cylinder. Rainbow seemed confused by this and flew silently again. I walked up the path to the mountain and spoke to her. "Alright, we've reached the end of the pony line, please stay out of the mouth of the cave until the dragon either leaves or dies." I heard a huge laugh emanate from the cave. "It has been a long time since a mortal spoke in such a way towards me. Approach, so I may see my next meal." I smiled wide and waved at Rainbow, before walking out to the cave to see an enormous blood-red dragon staring at me. Like this thing probably could rival a full office building uncurled. I looked at him and held up a finger. He nodded as if allowing me a favor As I quickly reached into my pack and withdrew an M320 grenade launcher. I attached it to Joan before withdrawing a matching grenade and loading it. I smiled warmly. "Sorry, I'm not gonna start with the small stuff if negotiations break down." Another laugh from the dragon. "You are brave ape, and your tools are strange. I believe I like you." I waved it off. "Yeah but apparently your way to close to Ponyville. Now normally as long as you weren't swooping down to attack them I wouldn't care, but Twilight said your little roost was a danger." I gestured to the rifle. "So me and Joan here are going to try to peacefully remove you for five seconds. Then if that fails, which honestly I hope it does, I will kill you, and see if you taste good." I heard a gasp from Rainbow, but I just raised my rifle to hip level, keeping a finger on the grenades trigger. A large tuft of smoke raised from the nose of the dragon, before he spoke. "You are worthy of respect welp. I am Baldrich, son of Gromich. Who are you?" I bobbed my head back and forth. Then spoke in my best Alexander Anderson voice. "Fine, I'll give you the courtesy. I am Draitha, slayer of gods." I topped it off with a quick potshot at the cave roof, which perked the dragons attention. He stared at me for a bit longer. "Do you truly think that can best me?" I shook my head. "Not in the slightest." I tapped the tube under the barrel. "That's what this is for." The dragon stared with much more interest than before. "You are a strange creature." "If it makes you feel better, I've killed a lot bigger than you." The dragon seemed to think on that a moment. "And I have killed bigger than you, but we do not know the others skill." I grinned. "I've killed a dragon before, though you're a bit bigger. But I'm pretty sure it'd be a close fight either way." The dragon nodded and stood on all fours, his back scraping the wall that was at least twenty feet tall. "You have amused me Draitha, slayer of gods. As payment I shall go to my main roost for now. Know this though, if you climb up to there, there will be reckoning." I deflated. "Awwww, I was hoping for some insane fire and flying action. But I'd probably get yelled at for it, so I guess I shouldn't complain. Have a wonderful day Baldrich son of Gromich." He nodded towards me and stomped out, the mountain shaking with every step. He took off, and made an honestly quiet majestic hover before turning to me. "Answer an old wyrm this. What does that tube do?" I smiled wide. "Oh, I'll show you." I turned around and launched the grenade into the cave. The large explosion blowing back my hair as I began to madly laugh. I loved pyrotechnics. The dragon continued his hover, with minor gale force winds battering my body. "I almost regret leaving. A duel with you would be most interesting. But my kind are scarce enough already. Goodbye." With that he left, and I lowered Joan. I grumbled and broke down Joan on the cave mouth before packing her up. I pulled out a smoke and lit it. Taking a drag I spoke. "How come I go looking for fights here and end up talking it out?" Rainbow flew in front of my vision. "ARE YOU BUCKING INSANE?" I nodded. "Probably. It depends, you a psychologist?" "Uh, no. I'm a weather captain." "So how can you make a determination on my sanity? Unless clouds can have psychological issues." I rose a hand to my chin. "Which I never thought about. Can clouds get depressed?" Rainbow stared at me. "What? No way, clouds can't get depressed." She sat down beside me. "But if they could I don't think they'd tell me to deal with it." I nodded. "Yeah, I'm bad at talking things out too, I tend to shoot my problems. Or stab them. Or burn them." Rainbow laughed. "Yeah, I can tell. I mean, what kinda block head picks a fight with one of the dragon elders?" I rapped a fist on my skull. "This kind of block head Rainbow." I took a quick drag before looking at the dark cave behind me. "You think he left any loot for us?" Rainbow gestured towards the cave. "Well go check, I'm not going into a dragons cave." I looked back at the cave. The enclosed, stonewalled cave. I felt sweat begin to bead on my brow. "You know, I don't think he would have left anything anyways." Rainbow looked at me sideways. "You sure? You don't look to hot." I was spared any questions by a huge chariot swooping down in front of the cave beside me. It was white, with beautiful gold highlights. I saw at least twenty ponies in full armor, who looked almost exactly the same charge out. They formed up in a block formation as a beast of a Unicorn stepped out. He was as tall as the princesses, and more buff than a pony had any right to be. I leaned in towards Rainbow Dash. "Hey Rainbow, did a ton of pony clones and a bodybuilder just come out of that carriage?" Rainbow didn't get to answer as the buff pony stared at us and loudly stage whispered. "Civilians, move back twenty feet. You are hiking in a hostile zone." I smiled, and took a few steps out of the cave mouth. The pony nodded, and stayed at the edge of the cave mouth. "Mighty wyrm. I am Captain Dive Bomb of the Solar Guard. If it pleases you, I would like to negotiate your movement from the area." I raised a finger at Dive Bomb. "Uh, sir I think-" The pony glared. "Silence creature. I am doing a vital Equestrian duty. Simply enjoy the show, as I show you the dragon negotiation tactics passed down the generations of the bomb family." With that he flexed, showing an impressive amount of pony muscle. He then spoke again. "Dragon, if you do not respond I will show you the power of the great, Dragon slaying Bombs." I decided to let him finish that, and sat down to finish my smoke break. Rainbow had her eyes glued to his flank, so I doubt she minded. Dive Bomb moved to the cave mouth. "Now listen here you overgr-" He stared at the empty cave. "That isn't right." I laughed, causing the unicorn to turn to me. "What do you find so funny craeture, now the dragon could be anywhere." I stood up and walked to him. "Yeah, I got him out. Threatened to kill and eat him, then he laughed and decided I was chill enough that he'd just leave." The pony glare at me, and I took a knee to glare at him. We locked eyes. We stared each other down, searching the other for anything, and that's when the soul gaze happened. See, I had never actually done a soul gaze. I had normally remembered to avoid it, but I guess I forgot in all the hubub. It was something human wizards could do. It basically sucked you and whoever you were locking eyes with into each others souls for a quick tour. It was supposedly different every time. This time was a literal room tour. I found myself in a soldier's barracks. It was bare bones. A bed, a desk, and a closet. I walked towards the desk and opened the drawer. It was filled with pictures, and dates. I saw ponies, griffons, and a few deer. The backs held names, and brief biographies. Each desk drawer held more pictures. All the ponies that had died near him. Then I opened the closet. Inside were stacks of photos, and a pair of blades. These photos lacked dates, and showed more ponies. At the top was a foal. The biography was blank, but there was a name. Dive Bomb Jr. The ponies, the blades. They were the ones he fought for. Finally I moved to the book on the bed. In it was simply feelings. I couldn't describe it. It was like feeling immense emotions for every second of every day. Coming from a book. I was snapped back into reality still staring down the captain. I saw a twinkle in his eyes. We moved at the same time. His left fore hoof flew out, with my right rushing in the same instant. They collided on a massive high five, which we traded grips with. He brought a hoof around my neck and gestured to his guards. "Men, lets give this traveler a mug of ale back at the barracks. We have found a new friend." He said this while dragging me back to his carriage, much to the horror of his men. I followed him and waved at Rainbow Dash. "It appears I've been kidnapped. Give the girls my love, I'll make my way back." I looked at the guards who were making way more room for me than needed. I shot a sheepish smile Rainbow's way. "Eventually." Level Seven - Barracks and ChillI found out a few things once the carriage took off. One, was that the clones weren't clones. After a few moments Dive Bombs took off his helmet, and his color shifted from white, to a dull grey. The carriage was small. In fact I probably wouldn't have gotten in if I couldn't net a seat near the middle window. He looked at me and smiled. "Well Traveler, what name do you go by today?" "Shit." I said, trying to get comfortable on a pony sized seat. "So, can we cover what happened in private?" "Only once you give me a name." He said this with a smile, so apparently my soul wasn't exactly horrifying. I nodded. Then asked a question. "Do you already know it?" The captain smiled wider. "But of course, though the list was rather long, so I shouldn't assume which one your using. Though if you haven't decided I think Ang-" I cut him off. "No." He stared at me, and smirked. I looked back. "I'm Draitha." He smiled wider. "Of course, that one was second on the list after all. Well then, we shall not talk of what we saw until after our post mission party." At that several of the ponies cheered, several more looked at me uneasily. One looked between me and the captain calmly. He was a tan earth pony, with an electric blue mane. He cleared his throat, before raising a hoof. "Hey sir, is it going to be okay taking this thing back with us?" The captain seemed surprised. "How could I have been so negligent. You are an excellent guard private Straight. Get Clear to send a message we're bringing a guest. How could I have forgotten to send word back to command?" The private nodded towards a unicorn beside him. "I more meant sir, that he used the word kidnapped when you grabbed him. Also he may be a fugitive, as we have never seen a creature like him before." The captain smiled. "Ah, putting all that watch training you had to good use eh? No, SHE will be perfectly well behaved, as well as we treat her right. She'd never hurt an innocent. I've never looked at a pony as completely protective as she is." I liked that he put emphasis on she. I didn't want to be called a dude. I glanced at his word choice. I was rather protective, but I didn't think I deserved it as my intro. I shrugged it off and stuck a hand out to the pony. "Draitha, hi, sorry. You were talking about me. I'm right here, you know, able to answer your questions." I hated when people talked like I wasn't there. Straight looked at me, then to his captain. "Sir, that thing is an unknown. Personally I find it to be totally untrustworthy, and it should be reported to the princess." I blew out a raspberry. "If you do send for Luna. I think Celestia is a bit tiffed at me at the moment. Actually I think she's been mad since I blew her up." I paused as the various guards stared at me in horror, and as Bombs smile grew wider. "What, I left a note at my house, she ignored it, then she blew up a little bit. She hasn't been so happy with me since though." The unicorn that Straight nodded to earlier looked horrified. Her horn glowed much brighter for a moment before fading, and an expression of false ease settled. "Of course." She had a voice betraying her gender. Made it easy. "Why, I know my house explodes if people don't follow notes." I smiled. "Really? That's weird." Her expression faltered. "Only my door does that. Keeps people from barging in uninvited." I stood up and stretched. I knew how some loyal soldiers would respond to this. The carriage was quiet for a moment, before a light blue pony raised it's hand. "Uh, Ms. Draitha. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that means that princess Celestia tried to get into your home, and then you blew her up." I nodded. "That is an acceptable short hand of events. Yes." I could feel the anger behind me. Gods I could swim in it. I heard a pony behind me scream. "GET HER!!" And I heard hooves fly behind me. I didn't have time to do anything fancy. The first pair of hooves circled my waist, trying to restrain me. I threw an elbow, knocking my shoulder into a horn. I felt a minor amount of sweat bead on my brow as I rolled forward. I felt the hooves release me as I made it to the back of carriage. The wall behind me was bare, and I could see three ponies staring me down. I glanced and saw that most of the ponies had remained seated, including the good captain. I shot a glare at him before the brawl resumed. Now I don't have any official combat training really. But I am a many year veteran of brawls in both bars and life or death situations. The first pony was an earth pony, who I side stepped as he charged. The Pegasus beside him however manged a clean tackle to my gut. However the plate carrier kept me on my feet. I ripped the helmet from his head and threw it at the unicorn, who had been doing some magic nonsense with her horn. It clanged of her forehead, ceasing magic for the moment. I heard Dive Bomb cheer. I looked down at the pegasus and planted the skull ring on my right hand on his forehead. "Rooty Tootie!" The energy in the ring shot out, sending the poor pegasus out the back door. The other two brawlers froze. I held up a finger. "Gimme a bit." I walked to the rear of the carriage, and saw the pegasus flying to catch up. I waved at him. "Glad you didn't die." The pony stared at me as he caught up. I heard a few hoof beats behind me. I waited for a split second, letting the pegasus close with me. "Sorry friend." I reached out and grabbed a hoof, pulling him into the carriage. I didn't stop, and spun around, knocking the pegasus into the Earth pony who had been moving behind me. I dropped the Pegasus and let them both fall in a tangled heap before looking at the unicorn, who now looked mildly terrified. "You wanna go one on one?" The unicorn fainted. I pumped my fist. "Boo-yah, finally my terrifying presence does something good." I sat back down beside the captain and fished out a smoke, lighting it with a snap. I turned to him. "Please tell me those were the new guys, that unicorn could have just nudged me out of the carriage. Honestly I was already trying to think of all the little toys I might have to survive the trip down." The captain smiled. "But of course. All my other ponies know that we are only sent on the most acceptable of assignments. They know not to let a guest work them up so easily." He said it, and everything now that I think about it, in a boisterous manner. Like he was in a constant shouting match with himself. I settled down again, before nodding to Straight. "Kinda wish you were in there munchkin. You seemed like the smart one." His face didn't move a muscle. He also didn't respond, which I found rather rude. It wasn't a big deal, because I could feel the carriage begin to drop. I held my seat with my smoke free hand, waiting for the big drop as we hit the ground. It never came, as the carriage came to a smooth stop. I glanced around and saw the ponies getting up. I waited until most had filed out before I got up. Dive Bomb tapped my back and I took the hint, moving up and out of the carriage. I found myself in a large courtyard. Guards were running back and forth looking like they all had things to do. Dive's group had begun funneling into a door near the carriage, which I followed easily enough. I made it through the door and saw a clean entertainment room. There was a small bar in the corner, which Straight walked behind and flipped an open sign on. There were a few tables, and a few board games shoved onto a bookshelf. The three ponies who had tried to start a fight were in a corner, muttering darkly. I gave them an over exuberant wave, which they did not return. I heard Dive behind me. "I won't do anything to them, they were technically doing there jobs y'know." I smiled and moved to a table, sitting down and tossing the stub of my finished smoke into my bag. "Wouldn't have it any other way chief. So, we gonna talk about what happened?" He smiled wide. "Of course my friend. It is not everyday you see into another's soul." I faltered. "So you know what happened?" "Not the exact science behind it, but a unicorn has a feeling for these things. I suppose you now have more insight into me then I do." I nodded and waved at Straight, making a motion with my hand for a drink. He filled up a mug and brought it to me. I took it and gestured to the seat by the Dive. "So Straight, let's play a game. It's called tell me which princess the unicorn called so I know whether to run or chill out." The private stared at me before shrugging. "Well Celestia is currently in court, so she thought that Luna might respond faster. Either way they will be here to restrain you soon." I nodded. "Well as long as you called Luna it's fine. She's the fun one. I blew her up a little to, but we had a tea party afterwards so it's all good." Private Straight seemed to catalog all this and nodded. "So I take that to mean you already know the both princesses?" I nodded while taking a sip of my drink. I stared at it afterwards. It was hard cider. And damn good hard cider too. I was so distracted that I missed the first part of Straights next sentence. "-ld mean that they are both familiar with you too. I fear calling her may have been a bit hasty now." I tilted the mug towards him as a guard wandered behind the door and played with something under the counter. Music began blaring through the room, and a few ponies moved tables to make a dance floor. I watched as half of the group began dancing with one another, cider cups in hand. I smiled at it, and shook my head. "Hey Dive, hold my drink?" He nodded and continued watching. He spoke in an annoyed tone. "How I wish I could join you, however a captain cannot dance with his ponies. Might cause troubles that would dishonor my family name." I left on that note, and moved to the dance floor. A few ponies left at that, but to my surprise a few ponies began staring. Apparently human dancing was something to see. They were going to be disappointed. I knew exactly one dance, and it was the carlton. Which I busted out with gleeful abandon. I heard some giggles as I flailed about like an idiot, and after the song a few ponies walked up. Most kinda stared at me, but one was brave enough to comment. "Please tell me that's not how most of your kind dance." I smiled. "Nope, I can't dance to save my life." The brave one walked up. A sea green unicorn with a darker green mane. "Yeah, well if you wanna dance again come see me for lessons, I'm sure I could teach you better than that." "Of course, and you are?" "Silver Light, Platoon inter-species relations expert." I raised an eyebrow. "A platoon level inter-species job? Wouldn't that be more of a Battalion position?" "Nah. Well, yes, but Dive here gets all the weird missions, so we have to have a varied bunch." I nodded and a smaller swarm of ponies began chanting. "In the pit! In the Pit!" I glanced at Silver Light. "So what are they doing?" "Well, whenever somepony joins up they aren't considered in the group until after the first mission." I didn't resist as the small group lifted me on there shoulders. Silver light followed as they walked to the rear of the building. "And then, when they get back, we have a party like always. Finally they get thrown in the pit, and when they walk out, they're considered one of us." My brow furrowed. We walked out a door into a small yard. I was facing the wrong way to look. I stared at Silver Light. "Wait, how big is the pit?" I never got an answer in the form of getting tossed in. It was dark inside, and I heard a thump as the door closed. It was more of a locked cave than a pit, but it was still dark and cramped. I tried to breathe, but it was hard. I pulled my revolver out of it's holster. "I'm not starving, I'm not dying. I just have to push through this. Find a weak point." I began tapping on the wall, trying to feel out a structural weakness. I couldn't find an obvious one. I took another deep breathe, and felt my heartbeat surge. I took a dip in my magic bag and pulled out a flashlight. My hands shook the whole while, and dropped both my bag and the light. I felt both land by my feet. I heard a loud noise outside, and centered my aim on where I thought the door was. I heard voices shouting outside. I kept talking to myself, trying not to let my thoughts go wild. "They aren't talking about how to kill me, they aren't deciding whether to starve me out or make this quick. They will let me out soon, and if it's to taunt me I will shoot them, then I will leave." I stared at the darkness some more, and then switched to a one handed grip on my gun. It shook like mad, but I managed to grab my bag in my free hand. I hauled it up on my shoulder and kept the gun pointed at the door. "I am going to get out of here. I am not going to rain death upon this whole damn city. I am no-" The door opened a crack, letting in sweet blessed light. I charged it, knocking whoever opened it on their ass. The gun followed my sight as I scanned the crowd. Lots of sad faces followed. A few faces had looked amused when I first broke out, and morphed into fear as they saw my face. The captain was at the end of my scan, looking extremely angry, as well as Princess Luna, who looked... looked.... Well she looked impassive. She spoke to me. Very calmly, but not quietly. "Draitha, remain calm. These ponies are not Ghoulie, they did not mean to do that." I moved the pistol towards her, but stopped myself. I heard my voice crack as I spoke. "Bullshit! Last hole I went in was torture, they put me back! I swear they're doing something!" Luna took a step towards me, her voice still calm. "They meant to welcome thou. It is their way, they would not have starved thou." One clever pony decided to speak then. "Well I might've." The pistol flew to the voice. Some unlucky guard still in full armor. I pulled back the hammer. "See Luna, that one admitted it. I ain't going through that shit again. They ain't putting me in for another week." I heard a few voices mutter about that. I wasn't sure if it was fear at me or the thought of a week in a hole, but they were agitated. Luna spoke again. "And thou shall not go back in. Lets be smart for a momen-" She was cut off by Dive Bombs shouting at me. "Draitha, if you don't calm down right now you'd do something that would break all of Justin's rules." I moved the pistol fully to his head, and paused. I knew he was right. "Damn you." I lowered the gun. "Damn you and that low blow." I holstered my pistol. I moved beside Luna. "Remember those cookies?" She nodded. "I need one." A soft smile graced her face. "But of course. We think thou need a moment. If thou wouldst allow us, we will take you to a more private venue." I nodded at her. "Yeah, less creepy ponies. I need to clear my head." I felt her magic overtake me, blocking light and sound for a brief moment. I reached for my pistol on reflex, but by the time my arm moved It was light again. I took a deep breath, and flopped onto the floor. "Damnit Luna. I swear I almost killed them." Which was true. She sat beside my prone form. "Yes, but you did not. I think that the captain gleaned part of your issue. I admit I had waylaid him when they grabbed you, once we discovered the issue he was as mad as I was." I raised a hand and waved it in lazy circles. "We reached an... understanding earlier. He gets me." Luna giggled. "I thought that safe to assume. Who is this Justin he mentioned?" My hand dropped, and I was silent. Luna took the cue, and didn't talk until the door opened. The revolver was up and pointed before the first hoof fell in the doorway. My sights centered on a white pony with brunette hair in the doorway. She cleared her throat once and spoke primly to Luna. "Princess Luna, those cookies you messaged for will be ready soon." She looked to me. "And Celestia asked for a formal report on what exactly happened in her special use squad barracks not to long ago." "Tell her there was a rather large cultural misunderstanding. I shall have an official report written during night court." The pony nodded. "Of course Princess. Is there anything else you require?" I couldn't see Luna from keeping the new pony in my sights, but she seemed quieter in the next sentence. "Yes, send for captain Dive Bombs and three guards of his choosing here. I feel he will want to speak to my guest about the incident." I flinched. I wasn't ready for that. But Luna had a point. If I was right about those pictures, I had threatened his ponies, and that's the whole reason he does what he does. I'd need to deal with the fallout. I stayed on the floor for a minute more before I spoke. "Alright Luna, So you want to know about Jacob?" I felt her tense beside me, but she didn't speak. "Well, I'm not up to telling you about him. Let's just say he had a lot of little rules for if something went wrong. I follow them." She relaxed. "Fair enough, may I hear them?" I nodded, and moved to a sitting position so I could see her. "Rule one, if they're innocent, don't hurt them. If everythings gone to hell you shouldn't make it worse. Rule two, assume you're the only one that follows rule one. All the other rules are less moral, more like survival advice. Always eat if you can, never stress little things, that sorta thing." I cracked my neck once, trying to calm down. Luna looked me over and tried to look me in the eyes. I averted her gaze as she spoke. "He sounds like a wise man." I scoffed. "Nah, he was crazy, planned for all sorts of shit he knew would never happen. I tried to calm him down a few times, but I think he was honestly a little insane. But he was a good guy. He had one more rule, but It's not relevant right now." I heard the voice of Dive Bomb behind me. "On the contrary, I think I quiet enjoyed the Harkness rule is very amusing. I got to see them all in there own little plaque." I flinched. "Damn it Dive, I don't go around spouting all my epiphanies about you." He looked heartbroken. "But of course, and the way I let my men throw you in that pit, unforgivable." he fell to his knees. "I saw the pain it would bring you, but I was foalish. I thought they wouldn't accept you so easily. I knew they loved a pony who could do the hard jobs but..." I swear there were tears in his eyes as he looked down. This guy was a major ham. Of course I knew that already. Luna coughed. "I feel as if I am missing something." I heard Silver Light speak, and saw her, Straight, and another pony enter. "We all are princess. Captain's been yelling at us since you left, something about besmirching his family honor." I smiled at her, then at him. "No honor besmirchment here Dive. They didn't know. And for what it's worth, I only kinda want to kill them now." Silver looked at me. "Kinda?" I shrugged. "Take what you can get." Luna looked at me. "No, I require an explanation about all of this. How are you and Dive so well acquainted?" I sighed. "Alright princess. You know I can use magic, right?" She nodded. "Well when I found that out, I found an ability that human wizards have. If we make eye contact for a little bit, then both people get thrown into the other's soul. You see each other with no blinders. Evil, good, or anything in between is shown for what it is." I leaned back. "And it shows a few things outright, but it also gives you... feelings. Like knowing stuff about them innately. It can change, but the stuff you see. The stuff you see is the most important." Luna nodded, and Dive bomb rose. He talked first. "And your soul, what a marvelous things. It was everything, I saw regrets, loves, all intermingled into a wondrous portrait. Why, a lesser Stallion might have wept." He said this while weeping. By God this stallion never went down from eleven. I stared at him, while Luna looked at me with new eyes. "You can see into a ponies soul at whim?" I had to think on it, drudging up memories on Sensei's lesson. "Yes, but it's dangerous. You never know what you'll get. That and, you can never forget it. Me and Dive will remember this snapshot of our souls until we die. We'll remember it just as vividly as the moment it happened. So if we got a look at bad souls, then it would stick. A cavalcade of horror constantly playing in your head." Luna looked at Dive Bomb. "Thou willst give us a full briefing of the contents of Draitha's soul by end of court tonight." Normally I would have shot that down. I would have if anybody but Dive Bombs was there. Now I was one of his photo's though. "Absolutely not princess. Nopony should get access to another's soul in anything as crass as a report. Why, I feel as if you insult Ms. Draitha by the very idea." I was. "Honestly yeah. A soul's too personal to share with people. I've never done it before, last time was an accident." Luna shrank back. "Of course, I apologize. It would just solve so many unknowns to know exactly who we are dealing with, meaning no offense Draitha." I took offense, but there was no use in showing it. I let out an easy smile. "Course Luna, you're looking out for yours. I'd do the same." Straight, who had been watching this whole time spoke up. "As informative as this was, I believe that Corporal Vice had something to say, and he looks scared enough as is." I glanced at the third pony in line. Some Pegasus. white fur, black mane. Couldn't see the cutie mark through all the mail, but I didn't need to. He nodded. "Yeah, uh. I wanted to apologize for my comment after you got out of the pit." I nodded. "Water under the bridge man. But you all deserve an explanation. Let me tell you a story of a gang I used to run with." Luna sat beside me as I told the tale of Ghoulie, and all the details of the fun trip in the hole. She cut me off at the end, leaving the unknown fate of Marks even more unknown. I finished up, leaving the room in silence for a while. I thought they would run screaming, well Vice looked ready to, but the rest seemed somber. I sat there for a minute, waiting for a reaction. Silver was the first to move. She trotted up to me, before wrapping me in a huge hug. "I am so sorry Draitha." I returned it, and soon the other ponies moved in. Luna first, then Dive, and finally Straight. I smiled as I sat there. It was nice to get a hug every now and again. Level Eight - Dream OnIt was nice, being hugged I mean. We sat in a very fluffy group hug for a long time, for at least an hour. I'm not gonna say I cried, but I definitely cried. Luna broke off first, and the rest gently followed. I hadn't noticed Vice get in on the hug, but he pulled off a little corner I hadn't seen. Ponies made excuses. Dive Bomb knew me, and left to spread the story to his unit as soon as the hug was over. Granted he did so with a small speech and tears in his eyes, but I didn't begrudge him for it. Vice scampered off after him. Straight stayed a moment longer, but soon left to clean his armor off and enjoy a few vacation days he had due. Silent stayed however, with me and Luna. I looked around the room. It was a night themed room. Dark blues and purples. I liked it. I looked over at Luna with an arched eyebrow. "Weren't cookies promised on our trip here?" She let out a laugh. "Of course, thi-, I mean, your cookies are on the table. They came during the moment, so I guessed that you'd wait." I got up and grabbed a cookie. "You're a doll Luna." I took a bite, and smiled at the memories "Y'know, I think I could fall for your baker." Silent smiled at me. "So it's that easy huh? Just bribe you with sweets and get all your love?" I shrugged. "Either that, or at least an easy lay." Luna coughed, and Silver laughed. Silver trotted over to me and grabbed a cookie with her magic. I hated levitation. It was cheating. Anybody who claims that I was simply jealous is peaking pure lies and slander. "Well, at least you have good taste in cookies. I love Oatmeal raisin." I smiled at her. "Good, someone should. I hate them." I took another big bite. "personally, I wouldn't mind never tasting one again, but it's good for the soul." Silver looked at me funny. "You are an enigma Ms. Draitha." "Normally, but I always make sense in my office hours." Luna smirked. "And when are those." I spread my arms wide. "You see an office in that barn? Oh, by the way, I'm moving." Luna's mouth opened and closed a few times. "Where to? Why?" I shrugged. "I live in safe houses. Your loving sister wrecked my safe house safety. I'll need to crash somewhere safer. I'll find my own digs somewhere private." Luna stared. Silver also stared, but didn't let that stop her from taking another bite of cookie. She swallowed and started talking. "Well, I for one understand. I mean, if a living goddess can break in, what's the point?" I pointed both arms at her. "See, she gets it. If I live somewhere where a goddess can break in, then any Saturday morning cartoon villain can get in." Luna slapped a hoof on her face. "And Draitha, what if I let her in?" "Then I am both annoyed and slightly betrayed by your bad judgement in not asking me first. I mean, Fluttershy had to check out all my wounds from my great escape." "You were wounded? I thought that roll would have disturbed your prior injuries." I was glad that Luna had the sense not to mention my collection of nails. Silver piped in. "Prior injuries, just how messed up are you?" I nodded at Luna for the deception. "In a word? Very." I was careful not to show off like she was baiting me to and smiled. "I'm sure you would be too if you'd seen the shit I had." Silver sighed. "You really aren't the type to go into detail, are you?" Luna cut me off. "She is not, no. If it makes you feel better, she is just as tight lipped with me. She's even worse around Celestia." I shrugged. "She blew up Mr Friendly. Also she has some sort of phobia of knocking. I feel completely justified in my lack of cooperation." Silver stopped chewing. "Wait, you weren't messing with us when you said that whole blowing up Celestia thing?" I held up my hands. "Only a little. Honestly when your as strong as her my little explosive is just a hello." Luna flinched as I said that, but kept quiet. I put that info away for later. "But yeah, if you try to break into any of my safe houses they always blow you up." Silver stared at me. "Why in Equess would you blow up ponies trying to get into your house? I started digging around in my bag. "Because It's saved my life to many times to stop now." I thought of a bottled water and pulled it out. "Plus you never know when some curious jerk will try to steal your stuff, I've found knowledge that unexpected guests turn into paste keeps out loiterers." It also made very large cleaning bills. But I doubted the ponies cared about that. Silver slowly stopped chewing. "Meaning no offense Draitha, but you're terrifying." I smiled, showing teeth to the small pony. "Of course. It's better to be feared than loved. At least with fear you expect the sudden but inevitable betrayal." Luna thumped me on the back of the head. "Draitha, cease spreading fear in our subjects. 'Tis most rude." I rubbed the back of my head "Fine mom. I'll go find some puppy's to kick for my daily requirement of fear and horror." I saw both ponies glare at me. I raised my hands in surrender. "Jokes. Jokes. I'd never kick any dog. They're all best boys." The pony glare lessened after a moment, and Silver sidled up. "So, now that we've established the rules on proper dog relations. What's your plan on a place to stay?" I took a sip of water. "No clue, I could probably crash in the woods in makeshift camps. Constant movement is a good compromise for an improper safe house." Luna chewed her lip for a moment. "We are truly sorry about letting Celestia into your home. Is there any way we can convince you to accept a compromise?" I mulled that over for a bit. I wouldn't trust any house they built, but if I watched them build it then I'd be more than okay. I nodded. "If you help me build a home I'll stay in it. As long as people remember to knock, because you can bet I'm doubling down on all my defense." Luna nodded. "I believe I could spin that, if Dive Bombs gives you a proper recommendation. If that happens I could get a team to Ponyville and place a house near the Everfree, assuming you can keep yourself... contained." I smiled. "Luna, I am both offended and shocked that you would even consider that I couldn't play nice." "You blew up my sister. Despite your rampant paranoia, I feel caution is necessary." I smiled. "Well, I'll keep my defenses non-lethal. Mostly." Luna looked to Silver, and an evil smile graced her lips. "No, I think I have a better compromise. If we built you a house, how would you feel about a Royal Guard as an Equestrian Escort?" I chocked on a bite of cookie. "Say what now? You want me to have a house guest?" Luna nodded. I gaped at her for a moment. "So let me repeat this plan to you. You want the highly dangerous, unknown creature to room with one of your guards?" Luna nodded. "Yes, plus it will make it much easier to keep you from blowing up our sister again if we have a unicorn to tell you when she is coming over." I sighed. "You know what? Fine, but I expect a measure of privacy. As in whoever you assign isn't allowed in my room, that sort of thing." Luna nodded. "Of course, once I get the guard reassigned they will meet you at your new home. once it is built." She glanced outside. "Looking at the time I feel as if you will need a place to stay tonight. If you would accept a room in the palace, we would be most grateful." I struggled over that, but I didn't really know where I was in relation to the barn, or even the woods by Ponyville. I nodded. "Aight, let's do it." Luna smiled wide. "Verily, we shall commandeer a room for you now!" She then happily trotted to a wall, before casually melting into shadow. Yeah, she was still terrifying. Anything that can melt into walls is way stronger than me. I stretched out and looked outside. Sure enough the sun was dipping below the horizon. I found a large chair and sat down, looking over to Silver Light. "So, what are you still doing here? The rest of your group seemed to run off once I calmed down." Silver shrugged. "Mostly curiosity. My squad doesn't need me much, so I figure since we'll probably run into you again I should learn all I can. Plus You seem like you need someone who doesn't bludgeon you with questions." I smiled at her. "Heaven knows that's true. Either way though I'm getting tired. How long do you figure until Luna shows back up?" Silver shrugged, and looked outside. The moon was slowly peaking out behind a castle wall. Silver gestured to it. "She'll probably be by once she's dealt with all the stuff that follows raising the moon." I sighed and moved my bag in front of me. "Well, if we have a second I have an idea." I pulled out one of my entertainment tablets and keyed it on. I softly cursed as I showed a low battery icon. "Shit." Silver looked at me. "What, is your glass thing broken?" I shook my head. "Nah, it's low on power. I think I have a spare bank in here. I have to start getting out all my solar chargers soon though." I dug around and pulled out a battery bank. It was shaped like Boba Fett, so I knew it screamed quality like all cheap Chinese goods. I took the cord that was tied around Boba's neck like a noose and plugged it in. "So, you won't understand anything coming from here, so music or shows?" She stared at me like I was crazy. "You mean that can play music, or show you plays? But it's so small." I nodded. "Welcome to the closest things most humans have to magic. We smack rocks so much they can think, then link them with more rocks. I have no idea how it works, but it's all very scientific." I opened up the music folder. "We'll start with something simple." I thumbed up Amazing Grace. Letting sweet southern gospel wash over me. Silver listened to it for a moment, and stayed quiet as it played. I hummed along, trying to remember the version. I tried to look at it in the music player. I smirked as I noticed the author was down as 'That one weird sandwich guy.' The song dialed down I sang with the last line. "Was lost, but now, I'm free." I smiled at the memory before I remembered. "Elvis, that it. This is the Elvis version." Silver stared at me again. "What language was that?" I shrugged. I could almost forget English didn't exist here. "Mine, it's what I'm speaking too, but I have a spell going that translates it for me." Silver looked at me a second longer before looking at the tablet. "It's so harsh, but all those voices together sounded nice. But what was it about, it sounded sad." I smiled. "It kinda is, but it's also happy. It's religious. I'm not sure how it works since you ponies have your goddesses on speed dial, but where I come from there aren't any gods. At least not that you can actually talk to. So people who believe have ways they talk to their gods. That song is from my religion, long ago." I played it again. What? It felt nice listening to the king sing. "It's about God's grace, saving you even if your completely unworthy. It talks about how it can make you see what you once thought was only a dream. But it's sad, showing that you are deeply flawed, and acknowledge it." Silver paused. "That sounds simple. Do you still believe?" I shrugged. "I've seen gods, I've killed gods. Who knows if the big one I worshiped is out there. At this point it's moot." I switched the song partway through. I thumbed up Raining men, mostly because it was funny. "Now that we have discussed religion enough for the week, let's play a game." Silver cocked her head as I reached into my pack and pulled out a deck of tarot cards. "These are the Emperors Tarot, you use them to play a game from another world, called tarot. They're not very creative." She giggled as I shuffled the cards Technically they were supposed to be used to read the future, but some time with the inquisition taught me how to use them to play card games. Mostly something akin to poker, which I had chips for. We played a few hands, but she was hardly a master. She had obvious tells, with smiles and frowns telling me how to play her like a fiddle. I remembered the guardsman I played with who wiped the floor with me every round. He did the same, but his expression had nothing to do with what cards he got. I frowned at the thought, and she was baited into increasing her bet. I showed her my hand, with the Inquisitor and Emperor. She growled. "Urgh, you're just to good at this game." I smiled. "Years of practice, plus half the game is hiding your emotions. You're easier to read than a children's book." She grumbled as a knock came from the door. She shouted for them to come in, which led to me putting a hand on my pistol. Luna walked in, and noticed my hand before I could withdraw it. She gave a slight cough. "Well, I have managed to get you a Minotaur room we keep for ambassadors, so if you'll follow me I'll lead the way." I got up and Silver seemed to be considering what to do. Luna spoke to her. "Ms. Sliver, we require you to stay here for a moment. We have an issue to discuss between you and Captain Dive Bombs once Draitha is situated." She nodded and sat back down. I scooped up the cards and the tablet. I kept the cards in my left hand while dumping the tablet in my bag. I shouldered the bag and followed Luna. We wound through corridors in silence as Luna led me through a maze of tapestries and stained glass windows. If I had felt more at ease I would have thought them beautiful. Currently I was annoyed because I couldn't see where I'd land If I jumped out. I was led to a lone room at the end of a hallway. Luna gestured to it. "The minotaurs share you love of privacy, and I have told the guards to not patrol this area. Though I would appreciate if you would allow a force of two guards from Captain Bombs company to guard your room." I shrugged. "Make it Silver and the scaredy-cat. I think his name was Vice. Or any of the ponies that jumped me. Honestly I just want a pony who has a healthy fear of me." Luna quirked an eyebrow at me, but nodded. "Of course. I shall have them post at the door within two hours. I would recommend going to sleep. It may be helpful after your day." I nodded and walked in. The room was filled with what looked like mountain portraits. With the positioning and frames they looked like windows, and the walls were craggy and grey. Well, I had found a mountain species then. I looked and saw the whole room was open, with a large bed in the corner. I sat on it and sighed. I didn't want to armor down, but I needed real sleep. I pulled Yasumori off of my back. I laid it on the bed and pulled off the plate carrier. I stripped down and threw on some sleep clothes. Which was honestly yoga pants and a T shirt. I needed to be able to move even if I was trying to feel safe. I pulled out a small orb with reflective glass over it, and put it by the door. It would make Hell's own racket if the door opened. I moved to my bag and pulled a piece of paper and pen out. I wrote a small note for the guards and slipped it under the door. The sensor beeped loudly as I did. I tapped the switch to reset it and laid down. Sleep would do me good. *** The classroom was empty, and I smiled as I picked over the drawings of today's art lesson. I saw Isaac's little take on Hieroglyohics. I was fairly certain that ancient Egyptians didn't have computer's, but he was only seven. I marked it and pulled out the next one. It was of a large man, not in the proper style. I would have to dock points. I didn't like it, because the piece looked just like Titus. I paused staring. How did I know Titus? I shook my head. "I should know better." I pulled my sleeve up seeing a nail clearly in my forearm. I waved a hand, making the school room fade into nothing. I was in an empty arena. I looked it over. It was in Roman style. I looked around, and couldn't make anything appear to sit in. now when you've been around as long as me you know when somethings up. I could get a few things though. I felt Yasumori appear with a plate carrier and the Taurus on my chest. I then looked around. "I know you're here. Come out before I start poking things." Poking a dreams walls when someone was in it sucked, so it was a legitimate threat. I saw the center of the arena shift, the twilight of the arena forming into clouds. A being appeared in the clouds and walked out. It was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. But she was wrong, and not just the black and purple hair. For one she was as pale as an albino, with features that were too perfect. She looked like a porcelain doll given life. Granted if I couldn't tell I probably would have tried to make this a wet dream. As it stood I was on guard, and looking her over. I totally wasn't taking note of the pleasant curves or the legs that could have turned gay men straight. I put a hand on my revolver. "You aren't getting any points bitch, who sent you?" The figure smiled. "No one sends me, I go where and when I please. Now we must talk." I glanced at her again, but luckily self preservation beat libido. "We really don't. In fact if you don't leave I think talking will be last on the list of things I'll do to you." She let out a purr. "Oh, and please tell me what the first thing on the list is." She had slid towards me as she talked. She accentuated her positive traits like a master. I pulled the revolver, forcing her to a stop. "Fist part of the list is seeing if cold Iron kills you, after that I figure trial and error until I've splattered you across this arena." She paused, looking around. "Ah, you think I am one of the Sidhe. I am not, I am in fact a force in Equestria." I laughed at her. "Yeah, now I know your not one thing. Good on you. You have thirty seconds before I turn you into a fine paste." She smiled, and held out her hand. A small rapier appeared in it. "Well if violence is your answer, perhaps we may be civilized?" I thought it over. It was a dream, fuck it. I threw the revolver to the side, and drew Yasumori. "Well then, what do you propose?" I looked at my hands. All my rings were there, so I had fallbacks. The woman began a circle, which I matched. "Swords and skill. No spells. I shall make it so neither of us can use any outside force." I nodded, and began to close the circle. We stayed like that for a moment. Slowly closing in before we started a fatal dance. She moved first, a flurry of stabs that I had to devote my entire mind to slip and deflect. It was masterful. Though at the time I didn't appreciate it. She had a steady rhythm, which left me no room to counterattack. After a salvo that felt like eternity she took a step back. "Well, most fall at the first stab." I was breathing heavy, and took a moment to respond. "I fought harder before." I took the time to think. We began another circle, which I smiled at. She didn't know how crazy I was. If she scored a hit I bet she would stop, if only to gloat. She began to close and I briefly glanced at her sword. It was short. Her attack began again. I slipped and deflected until I saw my chance. A short stab that was meant to throw me off. I reached for it, letting it sink into my upper arm. She paused. She opened her mouth to speak, but my off hand grabbed the blade. I wrenched it to my left, forcing her into my space. She stared at me in shock, and I smiled. "Wanna know how I'll win?" She shifted smoothly into a superior tone. "By allowing me to stab you? A bold strategy, though I fail to see it's merits." Oh, this bitch wasn't used to insanity. I was gonna enjoy educating her. I showed all my teeth. "That's because you have much to learn." My off hand flew into her stomach, causing her to gasp in pain. I threw a knee into her solar plexus, but it barely winded her. She jumped back, pulling the needle tip sword out off my arm. I clenched my teeth, but it was mostly just pain. I fought it off and raised my sword again. I charged first, not giving her time to recover. Our blades clashed, each slice and stab parried by the other. I went for an overhead strike, and she met my blade. Now we were in a predicament. If either of us tried to free our blades the other would attack. She smiled at me from behind her blade. "Well, is this a draw?" I shook my head. "I told you you have much to learn. Try me padawan." I moved my fingers. No magic meant triggering my rings would be immensely tiring, but now I needed to beat this bitch. If only to knock her down a peg. One of my kinetic rings was still out, which apparently translated to the dream, but the other... it was ready. I shifted my grip, pointing it to her feet. "Point and shooty." And I felt my own energy purely power the ring. As time seemed to slow my limbs went heavy. The force lanced out, knocking her to one knee. A shocked gasp came from her throat which I took as a good sign. I grabbed her blade with my free hand, and hit the elbow on the wrong side with my knee. I heard a crack and a muffled scream. The blade dropped to the ground, and she stayed on one knee. I wasn't done. I grabbed her head, one hand on either side, with the grip of my sword sandwiched on one side. I pulled down as my other knee flew up. I let go of her head and sent the knee into her nose, sending her flying back. She landed on her back with a groan. I held my bleeding arm. "And that's how we do it in a real fight you book taught scrub!" She groaned, and I heard some disgusting noises as her arm mended. I stumbled over to my revolver on the ground. and held it up. As the woman rose I fired one of my five shots. It impacted beside her head. "Stay down. I win." She settled, and I heard soft laughter from her prone form. "You are truly odd young one." I gestured with the revolver. "Yeah, my mom said that everyday. Now get outta my head and only come back if your gonna be polite." Her head moved, though I couldn't tell how. She spoke quietly. "Very well, but I do have a quick promise. I will visit again, and though I may be polite, remember that this was for fun. You do not want to taunt me when I will not show as much restraint." With that she faded into nothing, and my dream did too. Bonus Level - The Rising SunCelestia was having an incredibly dull day. She was currently looking over her desk which was almost bare for the first time in years. She moved the form she just finished to stare at the reason she had been so efficient lately. On the desk was Luna's written report on Draitha's memory from last night. It was a decidedly dark tale, and one that shed some light on Draitha's more aggressive actions. She stared at it with a frown. She had been thinking of her actions, and found them wanting. She had been almost rude, and simply walking into her barn without a word of warning. It had been a very poor choice. You were mad when she ran off, but after some time she realized that it was an issue of safety for Draitha. She was still annoyed that Draitha didn't find her country safe, but couldn't fault her after the memory she had seen. Celestia muttered darkly as she brushed the paper off her desk with a flick of her horn. She picked up the next piece of paper, which was a tax form. She sighed and shuffled it into a small box with a moon stenciled on it. Celestia put the paper inside and watched as it was poofed away to Luna's desk. "Poor little Lulu, how can you love tax code so much that you request it?" Celestia started to smile as she moved around her desk. If she cleared her desk then there was only one cure. In the immortal vein of siblings she would go annoy her sister. She almost skipped through the castle, at least when she knew no pony was watching. She always thought it was important to keep up appearances after all. She made it to her sisters room, and paused a moment. There were none of the normal mild signs that she and her sister used to show she wasn't to be disturbed, so she could exercise her sisterly right to bust through the door. She walked in without knocking. "Oh Lulu, how are we today?" She was stopped by an empty room. Normally if Luna wasn't working she was doting on some project in her room. Celestia looked around and saw a half assembled tool, she walked up to it and sighed. The arcane battery Luna had made was still sparking, so obviously she had been here recently. Celestia sighed and decided the best back up plan available was to her was to bug her secretary. She teleported to her offices reception room, where Raven was graciously sitting at her desk. Celestia smiled. "Inkwell, help me please. I have done all my work and find myself bored." Inkwell smiled at Celestia, and it had an edge. "Well princess, I can fix that. There has been an issue in the" She cleared her throat while holding up a paper. "Bombing stable." Celestia smiled back. "Oh goody, has Dive Bomb done something stupid because of that dragon situation?" inkell shook her head. "Nope, according to the rough report an unkown creature got the dragon to leave, watched Dive Bomb make a foal of himself, again, and then got taken to their post mission party." Celestia froze. "By Faust, did the report mention a name?" Inkwell nodded, and smiled. "Yes, Draitha appears to have been in the castle, though Luna has already gone to meet her. Apparently they put Draitha in their pit." Celestia paled. "Oh my, please tell Luna to get me a full report as soon as she is able." Raven nodded and rose. "She has already put Draitha up in her guest room, and requested cookies there. I'll go tell her now, as well as give her an update on the snacks." Inkwell moved towards the door, but a soft hoof from Celestia stopped her. "Raven, if Draitha pulls out a small tool against you, be very careful." Inkwell paused. The last time Celestia had spoke like that was when Inkwell had to get between two bickering griffons. She nodded slowly. "Of course Princess." Celestia watched as Inkwell trotted out, and sighed. "By Faust, this creature is somehow shortening my immortality simply by being here." She moved slowly back to her office, opening the door. A pony sat in front of her desk, juggling paperwork in wings not suited for the task. Celestia smiled. "Mane Moon, you know we have ponies you could send instead of trying to carry forms yourself?" Mane dropped all his files while doing an odd dance. Celestia smiled as he attempted to bow, stand up straight, and pick up the files all at the same time. Celestia smiled wide. Such a warm-hearted display always brought out happy thoughts."Peace my most loyal subject." Celestia levitated up all the files. After glancing over them she nodded. "Ah the Lunar court has been accused of being a secret hideout again I see. And shockingly I see Bluebloods name at the top of the petitions." Mane Moon looked up. "Yes your highness, I uhm, I tried to tell him that he was being foalish. Unfortunately. He simply called me a commoner. Then he said several unflattering things about... uhm... my service and stormed off." Celestia sighed. "Kibitz, I know your here somewhere." After a small shuffling a grey maned unicorn who wore his age heavily walked out from behind a small desk. Celestia nodded. "Take note Kibitz. Blueblood shall be sent to ambassadorial duties to Yakyakistan until he has learned to treat workers with respect." Kibitz pulled out a scroll, writing down all the details with a nod. "Indeed, and shall I withdraw him at the fifth apology?" Celestia shook her head. "No" She said. "Make it the tenth. This is growing tiresome." "Of course Celestia, and shall I instruct the guard to keep him under watch. We don't want a repeat of the griffon incident." Celestia nodded. "Yes, I would like to avoid another stand off." Kibitz made the notes and walked primly through the door. Celestia looked over at Moon Mane. "Now Moon Mane, is that all, or perhaps you would like to join me for some afternoon tea?" Moon Mane flushed. "Of course your majesty, I shall prepare it immediately!" As he began to sprint out of the room Celestia's hoof stopped him. "No, my little pony. I meant you and me, enjoying tea here. I normally enjoy it with Kibitz, but as he is indisposed you will now hold his job of being my dining partner." Moon Mane lost all color in his face. "Princess, I am not worthy. You must dine with ponies befitting your-" Celestia's hoof softly tapped the pegasus on the snout. "Moon Mane, calm yourself. I will enjoy my tea with you. I know you are fitting company. Luna herself stated you were a good pony who took the time to read her stories. Besides, I simply must actually meet the pony who seemed to actually enjoy my sister's crazed rambling. Please, sit here a moment." With that she trotted out of the room, leaving Moon Mane to his own devices. Moon Mane glanced at the floor, unsure of what to do in the personal office of Princess Celestia. He was, in fact, terrified beyond rational thought. He was fairly certain he had left terror, and approached calm from the wrong way. He glanced around, noting a piece of paper with Luna's seal on it. He knew he shouldn't look at it, but Luna's sketch of the strange creature on it demanded his full attention. He picked it up, glancing at it. It had a character sheet, in the same vein as her pre-story notes. She seemed to be a villain from the description, but there was a decided lack of the normal emotive language she used. He read the whole thing, trying to divine the character behind the words. Celestia walked back in, a tray of tea and cookies resting in her magic. She paused as she saw what Moon was reading. "Oh dear, you weren't supposed to read that." Moon shrank back. "I'm so sorry princess. I simply saw what looked like a new character for Luna's writing and I read it. I didn't think she would mind." Celestia smiled sadly. "It is not a writing aid, my dear Moon. That is her official report on a new visitor to our lands. Sit, we have much to discuss over tea." And talk they did. Celestia gave Moon a condensed version of the events over the past few days. The whole time stressing not to share it with the other ponies of Canterlot. For now Ponyville was gagged on the subject, but they could hardly silence all of Canterlot. She smiled and told him of Draitha's distrust of all, but her budding friendship with Luna. Eventually she settled. "Now Moon, once again. You must not tell others unless it is of the utmost importance. I know you'll do whatever it takes to keep Equestria safe." Moon Mane nodded and began cleaning up their tea. "Of course Princess." He quickly packed everything into a small box and held it in a wing. With a final bow he turned to leave. "Whatever it takes." Author's Note Well, here's something to stave off inevitable boredom. Comments are loved and appreciated. Level Nine - A Night InI woke up with a start. The mountain looking facade of the minotaur room was an interesting view to wake up to to say the least. I rolled off the bed, reaching for Crowley, and paused. He was still in the barn. I cursed, creepy was probably in there too, doing whatever he felt he should. I realized what this was and jumped out of bed, pulling out a fresh long sleeve shirt and plopping on my plate carrier. I felt metal legs creep up my leg. "Not now Creepy. I have to stop Creepy from building more metal spiders." I paused a moment. I let that statement run through my head. Then I ran it again. I picked Creepy up until he was at my eye level. "You hitched a ride on me, didn't you?" He chirped at me, causing me to groan. "You're a creepy little bugger, I ever tell you that?" Creepy chirped again before wiggling himself free. He climbed on top of the bed and rolled into a ball. Apparently he wasn't feeling chatty. I glanced down at my hastily donned outfit. Yoga pants and a button up only half buttoned, covered by an open plate carrier. I sighed, before stripping down and pulling out fresh jeans. A few minutes later my shirt was buttoned, my carrier closed, and boots were on. I had decided to keep the shirt, no use trying to stylize properly. I looked over my revolver, and spun the cylinder. I listened to the repeating click as it seated itself, still spinning. It clicked home. There were some issues with it though, the clicks seemed to dry. I looked around and saw a table. Okay, now I just needed someone talk to. I walked to my front door. I grabbed the motion sensor and flipped it off as it started beeping. I tossed it behind me not caring where it landed. I peeked through the door. I saw guards in full armor outside, looking generally stoic. I thought of my options. They probably already heard me, and the unicorn might be Silver. I decided simple would be better. I knocked on the opened door. "Yo, you two. I have new official duties for you." The unicorn looked at me and smiled, while the pegasus looked disturbed. I smiled wider at him. "I am in desperate need of a conversational partner. So you two are getting sacrificed to the cause." I opened the door fully "Step into my parlor." The unicorn laughed. "Said the spider to the fly." She walked in easily, taking of her helmet to show Silvers true colors. I laughed. "I'm glad some sayings are here too." I waved the other in, and he elected to keep his helmet on. I moved to the table, sliding a chair out. Everything was made of stone, and it was just as comfortable as it sounded. "Damn magic users, never worry about creature comforts." I picked up the revolver, looking at the key locks holding the revolver together. I sighed, moving my bag from my shoulder and digging out a fitting tool. I nodded towards silver. "So, how long was I out?" Silver was digging in a nearby closet, and pulled two pillows out. She moved them both to the table and threw them down. "Couple hours maybe. We've only been here one or two." She tapped the pillow beside her. "Come on Vice, he probably won't bite." The pegasus looked like a spooked dog, and slowly moved to the pillow. He stared at me the whole time. I began checking him over. He was wearing standard guard fare from what I'd seen, but instead of a spear he carried a sword. I gestured towards it. "So Vice, what's with the sword. All the other guards I've seen have spears." Vice instantly froze for a moment, a distant look in his eyes. "This is a Stronghoof Mark VII Blade, it can cut through most armor easily, and keeps it's edge well. It is superior to the standard spears in all but reach. It requires extra training to use effectively, and therefore is only carried by specialists." He said all that in a monotone, lecturing voice. Then paused staring at me, before shrinking back down. "And I'm uh, I'm really good with swords." I smiled, and pointed towards Yasumori as it leaned against the bed. "I'm not half bad myself. Granted I don't use them as much as these." I gestured to the revolver, before picking it up and popping the cylinder out. "It solves a lot of issues a lot faster when a fight last less than a minute. Vice stared as I began disassembling the revolver. "How can that thing end a fight so quickly?" I smiled wide. Time to unleash the inner nerd. I tipped the cylinder, putting five .357 rounds on the table. "See these?" He nodded. "These small cylinders send a chunk of lead going 1,700 feet per second into some unfortunate recipients chest." I flicked it once. "And it makes a satisfying boom." I put the round down, as Vice stared. "What sort of enchantments are on that? Starswirl's arrow charms can only get them to go about four hundred if I remember. And most speed spells need more mass." I shook my head and pulled out a cleaning kit. "No spells. Just a lot of mechanical knowledge from people smarter than me." I ran a brush over the revolver, before picking at some of the finer parts. I saw the little clicker that held the cylinder was ground down a little bit. I let out a laugh. "Ha, trying to wear down on me again. Not today." The ponies stared at me as I dug around in my pack. I pulled out a small container of blue gel. I tapped it a few times and put a spray nozzle on the offending part. I put a small amount of the gel on it before smiling. "Want to see a magic trick?" Both ponies nodded. I began the hardest task of my life. I did math. I'm no genius, but the way all my future gloop worked basically boiled down to crunching the numbers of how much magical juice it took to form an addition to an object, and constantly keep an exact mental picture of the object your making. I don't have a non-magical analogue, but it was kinda like trying to do advanced trigonometry, astrophysics, and then throw in trying to keep a full object in your head all at the same time. Then to top it all of you have to throw all those thoughts into lightning and shoot it into the gel. I thought of all this for a moment, solidifying it all in my head. "Perun" I hit the gel with what I hoped was the right amount juice. The piece of gel hardened, transforming a small portion to steel matching the clicker perfectly. I wiped off the excess gel and scooped it back into the nozzle. A button press later and it was sucked in. I smiled at it, and put it down. Silver gawked. "That is soo..." I waited, expecting grand reveals of wonder and amusement. Silver had other plans. "-stupid. Do you always have to use so much magic just for simple patch jobs?" I froze. I just showed a an insane fusion of technology and magic to a pony. And she called it stupid. I pushed the shattered remnants of my pride down before I responded. "Well, it works. So shush." I began reassembling the revolver, letting pieces click back into place easily. Silver didn't let it die though. "Well, you can fix stuff way easier with a basic repair spell. That gel seems like an unnecessary step." I stared at her, before taking the moral high ground. I grunted, and flipped her off. She smiled. "I'm just gonna assume that's some alien insult and be proud of myself." Vice thwapped her with a wing. "Silver, stop antagonizing the alien who can get rid of dragons alone." I nodded at the wise pegasus. "Indeed Vice." I said, adopting the tones of a wise sage. "One should respect those who meddles in the affairs of dragons. For they are crunchy, and taste good with ketchup." I reloaded the revolver. Before closing it with a flick of my wrist. "Besides she's right. In my culture raising your middle finger is a way to basically say fuck you." The ponies paused as I re holstered my pistol. I stood and smiled wide. Vice smiled back. God, that colt was adorable when he smiled. "Why would that be an insult?" I smiled back. "One sec, I'll show you." I reached into my bag, and pulled out a short bow. It was meant for horseback, and as such actually fit. I Readied the bow and used my head to gesture to my middle finger, which was holding back the draw string. "see how my middle finger holds back the string?" The ponies nodded as I lowered the string back to a resting position. "Long in my worlds past two armies clashed. One side had great archers, and the other army threatened before the battle to cut off their middle fingers." I wiggled my fingers. "This would mean they could no longer be archers. The archers army won, and all the archers raised their middle fingers to the approaching army. In that moment it meant fuck you, still got 'em, and as time passed it became an insult." I put the bow on the table. If it was out, might as well play a bit. I took the bow string of and looked it over. Vice was making a face of disgust at my story, Silver however was smiling. "That's so cool! Just imagine, someone braking down your door and threatening you, then when you kick 'em out you flaunt what you kept as they leave." She threw a hoof out like a punch. "What I wouldn't give to have seen it happen." My eyes went blank for a moment, and I was there. Not that battle, but medieval warfare was something I had dealt with before. I could feel my plates absorbing sword blows, the crunch of bone under my mace. The pain as an arrow sunk deep into my thigh. I was woken by a wing being fluffed in my face. I took note of all the feathers seeming to go different directions as it moved, before shaking my head. "Uh, yeah sorry. What'd I miss?" Silver was gone, and Vice was looking very nervous. "Uhm, well. After Silver said she wanted to be there you kinda... zoned out. At first we thought you were thinking, but you stayed that way for ten minutes. Silver's run off to get some help." I thought all that over, before Vice's quiet cough woke me up again. "Ma'am, you can let go of your leg now." I glanced down. My hand had been clasping my thigh until my knuckles were white. I released the grip, letting blood flow return to normal. I flexed my fingers. "Yeah... yeah." I picked up the bow, looking over which specific one it was. It wasn't a medieval one. I had enchanted it. Now I know I said I used the fires of creation as a sledgehammer. In a fight that was strictly true. I couldn't do fine spells for the life of me if I was stressed. But in the calm and safety of a safe house? I could play magic like a damn rock star. Only for enchantments really, and even then only for shortcuts to the fine spells I can't do. Which is why when the door opened I could do some beautiful combat magic. The door was only half opened as I pulled back the bow string. It fully opened as I screamed. "Aquarius, Blizzaga!!" The humidity of the room condensed, forming an arrow of water, and then froze into an arrow of pure ice. A series of runes along the bow began to glow in a soft blue light. I held it tight as a purple hoof managed to walk in, only to freeze as the arrow lodged itself in the ground in front of it. I pulled back the bow again, repeating the spells. "Didn't your mother teach you to knock?" The hoof withdrew, and the door closed. A moment later a knock followed. I would teach these ponies manners if it killed them. Maybe I shouldn't have been so literal, but meh. I nodded towards the door. "Come in, slowly if you like all your bits attached." And in walked the walking textbook. Twilight Sparkle herself slowly moved through the door, staring at the arrow currently melting into the stone floor. The bow stayed steady for a moment longer than necessary, until I felt Vice's wing on my arm. "You're good Draitha, nopony's here to hurt you." I sighed, trying to calm down a heart I didn't notice was beating out of control. I took in a few deep breaths. "Alright" I said, lowering the bow and releasing the magic. The arrow fell to the floor with a clatter. I breathed deep, my hands shaking as I sat back down. When did I stand up? Damn this wasn't fun. I let out a deep breath, before putting the bow in my lap. "Sorry Twi, bad time." She was still staring at the arrow. She then slowly turned her head to me and... oh my, that smile couldn't be scarier. "Draitha, why is your magical construct not dissipating?" Ohhhh bother. Magical super nerd had apparently seen something she wasn't used too. Two options, kill or run. I was surrounded by armed ponies in an unfamiliar castle, so kill was stupid. Plus this was Twilight, she was a good pony. Probably. So run, except I was still shaky and in a castle that I had no clue how to get around in. So normal plan A was out. New plans, explain or deflect. Explain might lead to more questions, but deflect could lead to a full blown interrogation. Time to use both. I waved my fingers. "Magic." Twilight stared at me before blowing out a gust of air towards her mane. "You never give a straight answer do you?" I shook my head. "No one gets my secrets easy. If it makes you feel better you can say it's a weird human thing." Twilight moved fully in, sitting on Silver's pillow. "No it doesn't. Anyways Luna sent for us when she found out you had been sucked into that 'event' with the royal guard." I smiled and patted Vice. "Yeah, I made some friends. And I tried to fight a dragon. I also almost shot Luna, but I don't think I'm supposed to share that." Oh sweet Christ. With each sentence Twilight's eyes bugged out a little more. As her eyes bugged out Vice scooted further away. Gods this was wonderful. Twilight began sputtering at my quick summary, which apparently she had not been told. Ah, Celestia is still the master of dickery. I saw to the sputtering Twilight in the only way possible. I picked her up. She didn't even move, apparently in a full neurotic breakdown. I put her down outside the room and shut the door behind her. Deflection strategy successful. I smiled as I moved back to my chair. "Okay, I needed that." After a moment Vice began laughing. It only took a second for me to as well. I was beginning to like this guy. Bonus Level - Dirty DeedsPlague's doctor office was far from what most ponies thought of as a place of healing. This was intentional. The first reason for this deception was the fact that Plague had no medical licensing whatsoever. In fact the only thing he could reliably fix was a broken leg. The other reason was that he was a premier street doc. If a criminal had gotten a scrape in the night, they would haul themselves over to the Plague House, which if you looked at the business records was s imply a hotel, and ask if the plague was in. He always was. The way he had stayed in business to be the top doctor in the underground scene was two fold. One, was that most of his nurses were actually the trained surgeons, and paid as such. The other was that he was one of the most skill prosthetic makers in all of Equestria. If it hadn't been for his earlier experiments he could easily have been a royal doctor. But he never spent time worrying about what if's. In fact. As he was sitting in his study with his on duty nurse, he was more worried about his uniform. While the cloak still fully covered him, his long, bird-like mask had a chip in it, revealing his yellow fur, though it still covered where a horn would be. An earth pony doctor was rare enough, no reason to show off who he really was. "Vell." He said, his accent clearly audible. "I feel like zis crack vill give avay my face." The assistant, a zebra who had found Plague by being temporarily assigned to the palace, let out a short snort. "Your mask is fine, oh doctor of mine." Though hidden by his mask, Plague blushed. The zebra mare was cute, and he had been debating asking her out for a while now. He knew her word choice was to keep up the rhyme, but he still hoped it was flirting. He raised himself up. "Yes, but you know as vell as I that Criminals come her for ze show of ze Plague Doctor." He began fidgeting. "But I vell leave it for ze moment. Is zat pony vith the info coming soon?" The zebra stood, and affixed a cloak to her front, covering all but her muzzle. "Yes of course, oh doctor dear. Of him being tardy, have no fear." Plague shuffled. That was definitely flirting. As much as he welcomed it he was at best a novice flirt. If somepony was being polite he could be called acceptable. His lack of social grace was another reason he worked with criminals after all. He moved towards his normal post for scheduled appointments. Behind the desk, standing tall. He raised his hood, making the glass inserts of his mask shine brightly above his beak. The zebra mare moved beside him, before whispering in a serious tone. "Skipping the rhyming, this one's from the castle. He made me as one of your nurses. He said he needed this info to circulate. Be careful." Plague paused. Shaman's always rhymed, it was a cultural thing. If she had been willing to forgo it then this was important. He nodded. "Of course Zendra. I alvays show utmost caution." Zendra giggled. "Of course not, silly Plague, though of his info he was vaugue." Plague waited a moment before a knock sounded at his door, after a moment a robed pony walked in. His robe fully covered his body, making him seem to be a dark bedsheet walking around. Plague made sure to keep quiet about it. Ponies who never dealt with criminals seemed to think there was quiet a few more rules then there actually were. He nodded towards the pony. "Vhat is it you are wanting. I have been told you wish to part vith some invormation?" The pony paused, before glancing at Zendra. Plague could feel the glare from under the hood. But the pony sighed and began speaking. "Yes, there is a dangerous creature in the castle. We wish for your to spread word of it to all members of the thieves guild and mention where it is staying when I can tell you." Plague paused at that. He was not normally an informant, but bits were bits. He could buy the info, then sell it to his customers at a higher price. a perfect plan. He looked at Zendra, who slightly moved her tail in an affirmative gesture. He smiled beneath his mask. "Of course, I zink ve can come to an arrangement. How much vould zis cost me?" The pony shuffled as if unsure. "Yes well, that is why I am here. The Eye would like your services if we manage to capture the creature. You come highly recommended for interrogation and intimidation. For the information the only thing we want is you to help us at a discount when the time comes." Plague sighed. He hated being used for that. All he ever actually did was start talking in a threatening manner while wearing his uniform. Ponies were so skittish around a scary pony with an accent. But it was a fair deal. "Ver vell zhen, I vill do zis for you. Once ze are planned out, I vill be available barring major zurgery." The pony nodded, before moving to a pillow and sitting down. "Well then, I'll give you the details. I'll pass all the info to the court alchemist when I get it." At this he looked at Zendra. Plague frowned. This was going to be a long meeting. Level Ten - A View of CanterlotThe laughter lasted a long time. Long enough for another knock to come and be promptly ignored by both me and Vice. We started calming down by the second knock, and at the third I had recovered enough to stand. "Who issss it~?" I sing songed, moving to the door. Gods, laughing was really nice. I hadn't actually had fun with somebody in a long time. A refined voice came from the other side of the door. "It's only Rarity dear, and Twilight, but she seems to be distracted." I smiled wide and peeked the door. Indeed Rarity was there, and Twilight was still staring at a wall where I left her. I gestured for Rarity to walk in, which she did with a graceful smile. "Thank you dear. Luna had said you had had a trying evening. I simply had to come make sure you were fine, some of those guards are absolutely brute-ish." She looked to Vice who had elected to stand behind me. Hiding from Rarity. So he wasn't just terrified of me, he was a shy little bugger too. Gods, he was just like a little kid. I patted him on the head absently. "Oh, they tried to jump me. Once." I flashed a smile. Moving to the large chair I sat back down. "But it all turned out fine. Plus the Princess said I'd get a house out of this, so I'm cool with it." Rarity smiled. "Of course dear, Luna filled me in. In a few hours we're supposed to catch the train to Ponyville and meet a construction team." I smiled. "So, by that line of thought I should be allowed out in the city then?" Rarity nodded while moving to one of the pillows. "Yes dear, Lady Light is learning of a spell that should allow you out and about in Canterlot without the Princesses having to deal with a million calls to the guards." I could deal with that, not having people flee in terror was always nice. I put the bow away in my bag, before sitting back fully. "Fair enough. Though I hope Silver doesn't mind, since I showed up she's pretty much been my personal guard, with Vice here dragged around as her second." I tried to gesture towards Vice, but he just slunk behind my chair. Rarity raised her eyebrow at my chair. "Yes, I had heard he said some rather uncouth things when you first met. Though I must admit everypony's been very tight lipped about it though." I nodded. "Sorry Rarity, it's personal stuff of mine. Honestly I lost it a little bit. But that's besides the point." Rarity looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "And what is the point dear?" I smiled wide and spread my arms. "The point is I get to explore a new city!" I leaned back the whole chair, which managed to make Vice jump from behind it. I sheepishly patted him in between the wings. "Sorry man, I'm just super excited." I stood up and began moving towards the bed to tap Creepy. "Hey Creepy, get up." He unrolled, as I heard a sharp intake of breath from Rarity and Vice. It seems they shared my thoughts on Creepy. "We're going on a trip, I'll need eyes. You up for it little guy?" He clicked a few times before climbing up my arm, and perching on my shoulder. Rarity trotted up and visibly shuttered at my new friend. "Well dear, when Silver arrives you will surely be allowed to explore. There is a show of some sort happening about Lunchtime, we could make it easily." I smiled wide. "Hells yea, let's get ready." I began throwing together an explorers outfit. My beanie, a turtleneck, and cargo pants later I felt much more ready to explore, with only an hour or two until the show. I was also hosting a few more ponies. Namely a recovered Twilight who still wouldn't speak directly to me, and a grumpy Silver Light. She was grumpy because apparently Vice had been supposed to brief Twilight on the situation before I had the chance to break her, and had been distracted by my antics. I took full responsibility, but she seemed less than thrilled with the whole situation. She grumbled as her horn glowed over me. "So now I get to enchant the crazy alien to look like a freaking minotaur. All I wanted to do was one simple assignment, and now I get this." She grumbled as her horn flashed over me. covering me in a few measured illusions that hooked onto my clothes. Creppt chirped in alarm as they washed over him. She pointed a glare at him. "And don't get me started on your buckin' pet." I smiled at her wide enough to split my face. "Yeah, but I can finally look inside you guy's city without being a complete freak." She smiled back, though I could tell it had a minor strain. "Yeah well, you still wanna catch that Trixie show later?" At the mention of the name Rarity and Twilight paused, and began a hushed conversation in the corner. I however, cared not for their pony power politics. I nodded. "Yep, watching a show can tell you a whole lot about an area. Plus I love theater, I was an actor myself for a little while." Silver's smile formed into a much more genuine article. "Of course you were, I can actually see it. So what do you say we head out and see some sights? You know you're actually right beside the statue gardens, which are super popular, right?" I was standing up. "Nice, let's check 'em." I was led through a maze like hall of tapestries again, only this time I was excited. I loved being a tourist, and after seeing the guards in action and getting some good sleep I was much less worried about actual dangers. Plus new shows turn me into an overexcited school child. We made it into the statue gardens fairly quickly, exiting some huge door into a beautifully maintained garden. Now, I'm scared you misunderstand me. When I say this garden was near perfect I don't want you to imagine some little garden that's homey and pretty. Every flower, every bush. Hell, I think every leaf was perfectly positioned. The only thing that disturbed it was a statue in the center. It was posed as if mid song, or perhaps a theatrical blown kiss. Either way, it was gloriously wrong. Different animals making up all the various pieces as it assembled by a three year old on the sugar rush from hell. I walked up in awe, and I saw it's name. 'Discord - Spirit of Disharmony' The whole garden was a perfect picture of order, but disharmony itself sat at the seat. I'm pretty sure there's some philosophy behind that, but I'm not the one to say it. I reached out, and touched the statue, and heard it speak. Well Aren't you special? I managed to stay still. I doubted saying I heard a statue speak would make it easier to catch my show. I breathed deep, letting my mind settle away from such bad thoughts as 'WHAT THE FUCK' and 'WHY IS A STATUE TALKING'. I went through a mental list of all the weirder shit I'd seen to calm down. I nodded at the statue, before moving back to Silver. I took a half second to hide my "I think I'm done here Silver. I really want to see the city itself." Silver looked at me strangely, but nodded slowly. "Yeah, sure. there's an exit to the city back here." She led me past a huge hedge maze and through a massive topiary doorway. I swear a freaking titan could have walked through it. I stared the whole way out, and when I stopped I saw something beautiful. I saw Canterlot. It was like someone combined all the beauty of ye olde Camelot with all the wonder of a fantasy world. Then threw in modern architecture for giant buildings. All of it looked like ivory and gold, with culture literally visible in the streets. I don't know how long I stared, but I was awoken from my stupor by Silvers hoof in my ribs. "Hey Draitha, you good." I stared at the city a moment more, before charging towards it. "C'mon Silver, I've gotta see everything!!" Author's Note Short chapter, I know. But I'm already working on the next one. A couple other hints to the next few chapters here too. Hope you enjoy it. Level Eleven - Trix of the TradeI quickly found out that all of Canterlot was not a literal Ivory palace. After running through the maze like roads I had found my true place. The criminal back alleys. While the Ivory palace was filled with wonder and glory, this was filled with danger and sin. I loved it almost as much. I moved like a criminal, sticking to shadows without hiding, and walking like I was the baddest bitch on the block. I saw my reflection in the mirror and stopped. I was blue... I was a blue freaking minotaur. I didn't know they came in blue. The only clothing on me was a chest wrap, and my bag. And I was still just as scarred. Each nail looked like a small circular scar that still faintly glowed. I also had my normal scars still, with the illusion making my scars seem larger to match the larger body. I never looked at mirrors, because I didn't want to know. But by God I looked terrifying. I smiled wickedly, looking like a pagan god of death. I turned to the alleys and walked forward, staring at the ponies as they walked. I bumped into a yellow stallion and waved a hand. He paused, looking me over. "Hello zhere, you are new, no?" I cracked a smile, which caused a minor flinch. I had to think of a personality. I went through my mental files as fast as possible, before settling on an old one. When I was on some oil platform I was a mercenary, who told stories. It was fitting for all the scars I had. Some mental adjustment made me an explorer with seedy backgrounds. With a mental mask on I began speaking. "Hello friend. I was told of a show in the area. I am in need of directions to some pony called Trixie." The pony was staring at my scars before slowly nodding. He was still staring at the giant gash on my thigh. "Of course, Ze show vill be down ze street. Just exit the alley and turn to your right. Be varned, she haz a thing for audience participation." I smiled and moved shouting behind me. "I shall tell you a story in thanks later. If we meet anyways. God guide you my friend!" He looked confused as I ran off, but nodded and continued down the street. I walked through the alley, before leaving the alley and following the ponies directions. I found a sizeable crowd forming around a stage, a countdown written out of blue light sitting in the sky. It was going down, though I barely knew these pony moon runes. I moved up the crowd, my terrifying new suit clearing a path for me. I sat down directly under the stage, as a royal guard sprinted up to me. "Draitha you Celestia-forsaken fool!" She charged to a stop as I realized it was an armored up Silver. She jumped up, and skid to a halt leaving a literal smoke trail behind her. I waved at her. "Ah, sister Silver. I have found the spot of the show. Would you like to join me in jolly cooperation?" Silver stared at me as if I spoke gibberish. I smiled wide. "Come my sister, we have a show to watch!" "You are insane." Silver stated, trying to keep her face deadpan while siting beside me. She watched the countdown for a moment before leaning back. "Only a minute left, you gonna volunteer?" I paused. The yellow stallion had mentioned that Trixie liked audience participation. I nodded. "Of course, I shall have to see this wondrous show from as close as possible." The countdown flickered once, before exploding into sparks. A voice shouted from the stage. "Truly? A minotaur wishes to share a stage with the Great and Powerful Trixie? And what can she do that would even manage to pique Trixie's interest?" I stood, smiling wide. "I am the most well-traveled being in the universe. I have seen things that would amaze and horrify, and I can share those tales with you. I have found the lost arts, and can wield them to inspire and destroy. I am the Vault Dweller of 13, and the Time traveller of Katorga 12. So I think what you should be asking, is why I should care about you." I moved up to the stage, and hopped up. Standing tall, I saw all ponies staring at my bared skin. But I didn't care, I was a bad-ass wanderer, not some lost little girl. "Trixie supposes you sound impressive enough, we shall gladly see your show. Though be prepared to weep at Trixie's perfection when you see the peak performance she will put forth." With that the curtains parted wide, showing a rearing blue unicorn in a wizards hat and cloak. She stomped down, sending a path of glowing lights to the edge of the stage. She twirled her hair once. "Very well, Trixie will go first." And go first she did. She raised a large circle of magic, before popping it with a hoof movement. The bubble exploded into multicolored light, as Trixie corralled the motes into a massive multicolored ball, which she bounced back and forth. "Would anypony like to play catch?" A stallion raised his hoof, and the ball sailed towards him. As soon as he touched it it exploded into a blinding white light, and the actual show began. I want to write down the show in exacting detail. I really do. But with God as my witness I couldn't do it justice if I tried. Giant illusionary creatures fought, and landscapes moved to Trixie's whim. It was glorious. By the end she had a slight sheen of sweat, but an immensely satisfied smile. "Well, can you match Trixie's skill?" I shook my head. "Your illusions? No." Her face dropped an inch before I sat on the stage. "But I will show you how to truly capture a crowd." I ran through a few of the shows I had done before. I nodded my head at the show I had in mind. I would tell the story of the mask I had edited for this disguise. I looked over the ponies. "Hello, ponies of Canterlot and beyond. I wish to share with you the story of another world. I wish to tell you the story, of Genesis" With that word I rose my hands, and an illusionary globe appeared between them. There was a small gasp as I moved my hands, increasing the size of the earth in my grip. "Long ago, in the far lands of Earth, there was a man. He was loyal to his country, a true patriot to his home." I closed my hands, making the globe disappear. "He only trusted one person, his teacher. A woman so powerful, she was only known, as the boss. However, as a loyal soldier, he was told to kill her." There were gasps, as I tried to remember the scene. I wasn't there for it, but I had seen it played in it's game. Which was still super weird. "Vigilous Boss" And the field was there. Snake pointing a rifle at the fallen boss. There was silence as the crowd stared, then the gunshot rang out. The boss jerked, and died as I dismissed the scene. "And what did he get? What did his land give him for this?" I paused, as I saw thoughts run through the crowd. Some thought land or titles, but none looked close to the truth. "He was betrayed. Again and again. By the woman he loved, by the friends who helped him. He was betrayed by all, with only two exceptions." My arms moved, one of my rings being used to leave a chain of sparks. "Two friends stood by him, and made a new nation. A nation of soldiers, which they called, the Diamond Dogs." I showed the logo, and looked at the crowds confusion. I ignored it as I continued. "And while he had many adventures, they are not the tale I will tell. Today I will tell you of the final stand of a lone woman in his group. Laughing Dingo, the wandering soldier." My hands clenched into a single, clubbed, fist. "Vigilous Dingo." I revealed myself, as I was then. Solid black fatigues, a ballistic mask, and a rifle on my side. "This woman joined freely, and managed many successful jobs. She even fell in love. I tinkered with the illusion, bringing in Grinning Hyena. He was a tall lean man, carrying only a revolver on his hip. "But alas, tragedy seemed inevitable. They were sent on a simple mission, on which should have ended easily enough." I dispelled this illusion, and wiped the sweat off my brow. Unfortunately they were attacked, set upon by foes that would not rest until they were struck down. "Vigilous Failure Forty Two" I'm not gonna lie, this hurt even behind the mask, but I was to into it to back down now. Above me the sky turned into a large illusion. Bullets rained and mortars fell. Me and Hyena hunkered behind a rocky Afghanistan hill side. Rounds flying around us, Hyena peeked out to line up a shot, before a round split his head, making him fall as a lifeless husk on the dirt. "Hyena fell, and the true tragedy began. As I said, Dingo was a wanderer. What I didn't mention was that it was not of her free will." My past self held Hyena close, and you could faintly hear my true voice sobbing as I held him. I let out a sigh, and focused on the story. "Her time there was up, and after watching her love die, she left. A portal appearing, and dragging her away. Never again to see him, or even say goodbye." A white hole appeared beneath Dingo, and she desperately pawed at the dirt. I remembered trying my hardest just to hold him a moment longer, as the portal sucked me in. I flinched. "And my friends, that is the sad tale of Laughing Dingo. She passed though that world, leaving all she loved behind. Take this tale to heart. If any of you have someone you love, grab them. Hold them close, for you never know when they will leave, or when you must leave them." I let out a sigh and stood, disrupting my illusion and taking a deep bow. "I hope you enjoyed my show dear ponies. I am not much for impromptu tales, so if you wish for me you must find me with a scheduled show." I looked at Silver's expression of mild horror and sorrow. "Though I doubt my business partners will allow it." The ponies began filing out, and I heard several clinks as coins fell into waiting cups around the stage. Though they seemed a bit spooked. I guess they didn't like tragedy. I turned and saw Trixie staring at my face from the respectable distance of half an inch in front of my face. I responded calmly. "JESUS FUCK FRIEND!!" I spasmed back as Trixie stared at my quick retreat. She quirked her head before smiling. "You have a talent worthy of notice. Trixie offers you a meal in her home in exchange for your wonderful tale." I smiled wide. "I would love to." I paused and glanced at Silver, who was now chewing her lip thoughtfully. "Assuming my escort approves of our unscheduled change of plans." Silver seemed to snap back up. She glanced around before finding a clock mounted on the next door building. "Yeah, we got until three before the train leaves." I followed her eyes and saw the clock. Luckily it was analog, so I could see it was about one-thirty. I smiled at Trixie. "Lead on my fair-weather friend. We must hurry, unless I wish to miss my ride." Trixie smiled. "But of course, allow Trixie to show you the way to her wonderful carriage." She led me behind the stage, to a small carriage. I stared at it a moment before Trixie spoke. "Do not worry, Trixie has placed a spell upon it. It is large enough for you on the inside, so long as you don't try to explore Trixie's various rooms." I saw her walk in, her doorway was solid black, but seemed safe enough. I followed, ducking beneath the door frame and entering into a large dining room. I also heard a static discharge as a small bolt of lightning zapped me. I wrapped my fingers around Yasumori, and paused. Trixie had turned to look at me, and froze. That was probably less than good. I looked down. Oh. I'm not a pretty minotaur anymore. "Fuck." I heard hoofsteps as Silver walked in behind me. There was another zap, and I heard her speak in barely more than a whisper. "Buck." Yeah. My thoughts exactly. Level Twelve - Wake Up CallOkay, so now I had no plan. I had been in a few similar situations before this, make no mistake, but I normally was packing considerably more heat. In unknown situations I at least have to have much more firepower when my cover gets blown. I think nukes are my favorite. Silver was staring at Trixie, and Trixie was staring at me. I ran through about fourty plans in my head. At least thirty-eight would probably get me killed, and one got me and Silver killed. I settled on the one plan that would merely suck. I raised a hand, and felt my will channeling the fundamental fires of creation. I felt my body strain as I forced the magic through a mental circle, forcing it to my way of thinking. I brow beat it, using my mind to force it into the right shape, and whispered a spell. "Noctis Aeterna" With those words I forced the magic out at Trixie. Trixie shuddered as the spell hit. "What have you done to me?" I watched her fall to her knee's as Silver stood frozen, unable to comprehend what was happening. The spell fully took, and I collapsed to one knee, panting. Silver was still frozen, staring at Trixie's fallen form. I took a few moments to simply breathe. I wasn't exactly an expert at sleep spells. Especially without a focus. I spent some time trying to review what I had done. I turns out that was mildly dangerous. Mostly because I realized I could easily have just killed her. "Fuck!" I yelled, stumbling up from my knee to look over Trixie. I held my hand to her throat and felt for a pulse. I was instantly reassured by the slight, steady beat. I sat beside her, letting out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. "Phew, she's fine." I leaned back, letting myself breathe deep. I looked down at my form. Still human, with my button up slightly stained from my sweat. I brought my hands into my vision, looking them over. I was more doing it to not look at Trixie. My response to being exposed were not... healthy. I would hazard to say it was downright stupid. I was proven right by a solid hit in the ribs, forcing me to fall to my side. A hoof fell on my chest as I rolled, and I saw Silver looking at me with more rage than I thought an adorable little pony. Her horn glowed as she glared down at me. "You bucking monster." She was talking at a normal volume, which was honestly scarier than if she shouted at me. "What did you do to her?" I raised my hands in surrender. "She's fine, just sleeping. I didn't know what to do when my disguise snapped." The glow from her horn faded, but here expression stayed hard. I spoke faster. "I can wake her up in a bit. I'll need a second to rest though." The hoof slowly raised from me, but the glower barely receded. She stared at me for another moment, before finally looking away. "Luna's gonna be pissed if Trixie asks to many questions." I paused, that sounded like a lot of assassination contracts I'd gotten, but a pony wouldn't say that, right? Silver instantly ended that. "We'll have to take her to Ponyville with us. I can give her a full briefing on what she just ran into." I nodded. "Yeah, but what about my illusion. Did she intentionally sabotage it, or what?" Silver tapped at a gem above the entrance to the carriage. "Nah, it looks like she had a dispel gem at the top of her door frame. Now that I know about it I can keep the enchantment safe from it." She turned to me, her horn beginning to glow again. I flinched as her magic washed over me, covering me in her enchantment once more. I looked over to Trixie. "So, how are we getting her to Ponyville?" Silver smiled in an altogether unfriendly way. "Why? The old fashioned way of course." I felt a chill creep up my spine. *** I was sweating. A lot. Silver was wildly laughing behind me as I ran through the countryside. I tried to think of a sensible reason for why I was hooked to the carriage and running out of Canterlot, but personally I feel like Silver was just pissed at me. I ran through fields like a majestic cheetah. Or closer to an obese jogger trying to catch their breath. "Why in God's name am I doing this again?" Silver was sitting at the helm of the carriage. "Because, you put an unregistered spell on an innocent civilian, and because it's this or I tell Luna." I groaned and continued running Ponyville was another ten miles away, and I wanted to still get there on time. Though in all honesty it was still preferable to Luna jumping me. I reached Ponyville out of breath, and gasping for air. I held a hand to my stomach as I tried to resist doubling over, as that would make my recovery take even longer. I settled my breath as Silver hopped off the carriage. I turned to her. "Okay, new rule. If I cast a huge spell, you pull the cart." Silver scoffed at me. "If you do it on another pony again I'll do worse than make you pull the cart." She began moving back to the carriage. "The building crew is at Twilights library, just head over there and they can start on your housing arrangements. I'm gonna take care of Trixie. Wake her up real quick?" I followed her up the stairs and passed through the doorway. "Yeah, let me grab a snack, get some energy up." Silver stared at me like I was crazy as I pulled my bag of my back, and pulled out one of Applejack's apples. I took a bit as she ran up to me. "Why? We need to wake her up as soon as possible." She stomped a hoof down as she spoke. God, all these ponies are weaponized cute. I think I could feel the heart attack coming on. I covered my face. "Not the cute! Please?" I took another bite of my apple, keeping my face hidden. "My magic runs on my own energy, I need energy to wake her up. Just give me a minute." I heard a huff, but when I lowered my hand Silver had begun looking over Trixie. I finished up my apple quickly and tossed the core in my bag. I stood slowly, letting out a groan. "Alright, move over a bit." I saw Silver duck to the side as I reached into my bag. Without a huge rush I could do this the easy way. I pulled out a piece of chalk. I began talking aloud as I began drawing a chalk circle on the smoothed wood. "Waking up is easy, just a loud noise. So for a magical sleep needs a magical snap." I clicked the chalk against the floor as I finished the circle. "Now I just need some reference material..." I paused at my bag. I could use a variety of references, but I needed something this worlds magical field would recognize to properly channel the natural magical field. I dug out a few different reference pages. Namely Latin, Runic, and Japanese. I grabbed the three scrolls, gesturing to Silver. "Hey, magical pony. Gimme a hand real quick?" Silver grumbled as she walked over. "And why would I want to help you?" I smiled as I unrolled the parchment. "Because I can do this easily enough with a proper focus, but I need one this worlds magical field will recognize easily. While enough belief can force a field to recognize what I'm doing I'd prefer if it were a bit easier. Do any of these look familiar?" I gestured towards the scrolls as Silver looked over them. She tapped the runic scroll. "I'm not gonna lie, I don't really recognize any of these, but those there look like they could be a version of caribou runes. I don't know enough about them to be sure though." She tapped a hoof on the floor. "But why would belief enter into it? Magic happens when you focus, belief doesn't matter." I half nodded as I began trying to find the proper rune and word combo. Upon finding it I sketched the rune several times, circling Trixie. While I sketched the runes I began explaining to Silver. "My magic is powered by two things. One is my emotions. They give the magic it's initial energy. The second one is a worlds native magical atmosphere." I finished the second rune, moving to another point. I was thinking four, one on each cardinal direction. "When I traveled I found that focii that were familiar to the world worked better than ones I liked. I've adapted up to a point, but I can't use a purely native focus." I finished the third rune and moved to the final point. "I have to believe in the focus I'm using. If I don't the spell will collapse, and I get a massive headache." I finished up the final rune and let out a low whistle. I then began the finishing touch. A pentagram around the circle and runes. Silver watched quietly before exploding into sound. "WHY DO YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH ALL THIS!!!" She began muttering and pacing, apparently fed up with my slow going. I erased the part of the pentagram that was disturbed by her outbreak before responding, trying to find my emotional center. "Because I'm not good at this magic. The spell to put her to sleep was simple, but I'm really bad at that kind of thing. If I use all of this, it will greatly improve my chances of success, while also making it much easier. Plus failing might hurt Trixie, and that would be bad." I mostly meant for me, but no reason to throw that out. I finished the pentagram and allowed a small smile. "Fair warning, this is gonna be a lot more theatrical than the spell to put her to sleep. So, don't interrupt. It might end in a back fire, which would make this whole thing take a lot longer." I sat down, and took deep breathes, trying to clear my mind. I focused, letting go of all my worries and fears. There were a few still lying in my head. Lurking in the far corners of my mind. I imagined them in their own circle, barring them from interference. I then focused my emotions. Plenty of regrets, but that wouldn't due. I took contentment. The feeling after eating those cookies with Luna, Dive, and the others. I formed it into my magic, and made it into the proper shape. I then forced it into the runes. The runes began glowing in an ethereal white light. I pushed the magic more, as the lights all descended onto Trixie. I felt the shape solidify over Trixie, and triggered the spell. "Vaka" With that word I pushed the magic out, nudging it fully into the circle. The light snapped into Trixie, who gave a light groan as she shook her head. I let out a small groan of my own, feeling antsy and spent. Emotionally I was on edge, but I couldn't help but smile as Silver looked at Trixie in awe. It was like a kid seeing a minor miracle. Though I guess in a world of established magic, something totally new WAS a miracle. I moved towards the door. "Silver, I'm gonna go and meet the crew. Maybe with me out of the room Trixie won't freak as much." Silver nodded while she ran off to check over Trixie, trying to gently rouse her and make sure she was fine. I walked out of the carriage, to go and find the library.
New Game?Did you know that zombies suck? No, seriously, my story starts with zombies offering empirical truth they suck. I was crouched behind a desk, as a small horde beat on the door behind me. It was loud. I know that's hardly me being a wordsmith, but I'm not normally a writer. Normally I'm a bad ass bitch, but with m y recent job change that's been a bit harder. I opened my backpack and dug around for a minute. I pulled out a key part, and at least three ribbons before finding a small pistol. Technically I think it was from a few years after I currently was, but dimension hopping makes time a bit less linear. It was a revolver. A Mateba 6, which was about as subtle as a drop kick from Hulk Hogan, but it was also the first gun I could grab. I peeked the corner. I had maybe three minutes, four if the door was reinforced. Or as long as I needed if God loved me. Yeah, right. I pulled out a pocket watch. It was a simple brass thing, that couldn't tell time. Instead it had a much grander purpose. As I inspected the face an imp waved at me behind the glass. He was a small red and black things. All horns and teeth if you get my meaning. I waved back. "How long little buddy?" The imp thought for a moment, before gesturing wildly. That didn't help at all. I shook my head. "Okay, if it's less than three minutes than nod." He nodded. Good, I liked when my pet demons listened. I stood up and decided that my worries might be over. At least until I looked up and saw a skylight. With a zombie on it. Because my days are too easy right before I leave. I brought the pistol up to the skylight and fired once. The window shattered, and the zombie fell. Crashing to the floor. I kept the pistol trained on it for a moment, but after a few seconds I decided it was dead. That was when I made mistake number one. I walked up to the corpse. Keeping the pistol to my side, I poked the zombie. The zombie too k exception to this, and lunged forward, grabbing my hand. Almost exactly like a god damned zombie. I know, expected, but at the same time I was tired. I make bad life choices when I'm sleepy. I screamed and fell on my ass. The zombie began crawling towards me, teeth baring towards my legs. I crawled back, aiming a few desperate kicks at the zombie. I would like to say I kicked him off, escaped, and partied on the beach for my entire life. In actuality I felt my leg pull into a solid white hole. As I tried to back away from the zombie the hole sucked me in. Which basically ended in me sliding towards the hole while scrambling on the ground like a demented crab. However the zombie let go when in my scrambling, a kicked it in the neck. I felt something give, while the zombie recoiled. I then did the only logical thing I could, and dived into the hole. *** Okay, so let's sum up why I did that. So for the past while I've been jumping. Not like up and down, though that isn't uncommon. When I say jumping I mean hopping across the thin and frayed fabric of reality and ending up in new and exciting places. Normally places that are fictional universes I've heard of, but I got used to that pretty fast. Some mage I met explained it was something to due with familiarity, I just chocked it up to a divine being fucking with me and moved on. It wouldn't be unusual at his point. Anyways when I went to a world on a turtles back (I know, don't question it) a surprisingly nice wizard made me am imp powered watch that told me when I would jump. He did it all for the chance for me to teach him how I did magic, which was apparently weird for that world. He called it a "Gross misuse of thaumatergic energies and with all the finesse of our librarian with a banana." which I gathered meant I treated the fundamental fires of creation with all the care and finesse of a sledgehammer. Doubly so when I accounted for the fact their librarian was an orangutan. But that's how I was taught, so no worries. Also I guess I should describe myself. My name changes a lot, but I normally call myself Draitha, at least in my head. I was a young woman, now I don't know what I am. I guess I'm still a young woman, but humans don't jump through dimensions or get to use magic. I was about six feet tall, and used to love reading and movies. Now I enjoy not dying. While that may not be much of a hobby, but for me it offered many opportunities at exercise and new challenges. Plus I didn't have a choice. I have brown hair that I keep to my shoulders, and I normally wear glasses. Though I don't really need them anymore. I have a massive collection of bad habits, and smoke like a chimney when stressed. Past that, well life has been interesting. Long story short, white hole means new game, and an escape from a normally very close call. It also meant I was about to have a fun trip. I had jumped through the hole, and was assaulted with windows. Each one showing a different world, showing so much information my brain couldn't keep up. I saw flashes of wars never ending, demons screaming damnation, and a small child spinning a top. Then the sound came in. Have you ever turned on a tv for background noise? Of course, everyone has. Well imagine if you did that in a building made of speakers, with each speaker playing different sounds at different volumes. If you imagined nothing but pain, then yeah, you win. I held my hands to my ears and tried to ignore it, but mostly I just groaned. At least nothing tried to grab me this time. I felt my feet softly impact the ground as the noise faded into nothing. That meant I was in a new little place, and that I really needed a drink. I counted under my breath for ten seconds. Giving myself time to adjust to whatever would happen when I opened my eyes. I took a deep breath in and opened my eyes. I was in an alley. Normally this was my favorite wake up spot. Secluded, quiet, and above all else, I normally had an escape route. This time was different. This time there was a small horse with me. One that was staring at me like... well like I had just fallen through a small hole in reality with my eyes closed and hands clasped around my ears. Honestly the fear in it's eyes was totally understandable. Okay, so there was a new species in front of me, there was a fair chance it was sentient, and I was first contact. I had options, and diplomacy was the first one on the table. I looked it over. White fur, blue mane. It looked like it took time in it's appearance, and had earrings. They were small, elegant even. I glanced at it's eyes and remembered to avoid them. When my sensei had taught me magic he said to avoid eyes, something about souls and windows. I had never tested it. Okay, diplomacy time. I crouched down in a squat, the horse came to my stomach, and at a squat we were level. I held out a hand and spoke. "I will not eat you." CRASH! And this is why I don't do diplomacy. Most problems I solve have gout's of fire or bullets involved. Normally fire if possible, but half the time big magic is off the menu. Anyways the white horse fainted. I looked at the sprawled form, noticing the three gem tattoo on it's flank. I sighed. "So one unconscious horse later and I'm still lost. Where the hell am I." I peeked out of the alley, and saw a children's fantasy had thrown up all over this world. Pastel and neon everywhere, walking ponies, and fucking giant tree buildings. "Oh, I'm in cartoon hell. Alrighty then." I ducked back into the alley fully and looked at my new friend. Who was slowly waking up. I looked around before lying down beside it. After I saw the eyelids flutter I waited. The horse stood up and stared at me. "Oh, so that wasn't a dream." I nodded. "Nope, sorry for the scare." That was apparently the wrong thing to say as she froze again. To be fair I don't think there was a correct thing to say. I quickly showed my hands. "Look, no weapons, I'm just lost. Please don't faint again." The pony's freeze paused, and she raised a hoof to her mouth. "Your right of course. Falling again might horribly mess up my mane. And I just got it right." She smiled at me. "Though you could use a makeover dear. That outfit is just so plain." I couldn't really be offended, solid olive fatigues were hardly interesting. "I wonder if I could make something like...." She began mumbling about different fabrics. I let her, I may have all the social grace of a small nuclear warhead, but even I knew a weird situation would make you default to something familiar. After a few minutes of chattering she looked back at me sheepishly. I talked before she could try and rant about fashion again. "All I want is a library." My stomach grumbled. "And food, a lot of food. Gods my last trip had like, none." The horse stared at me. "Well I am Rarity, and I think I can fix all your troubles. Follow me please." With that she turned to the building beside me. Which was a carousel. Don't ask, I have no answers. This whole world is fucking crazy. She opened a small door that I ducked through behind her. The roof was high enough that I didn't hit my head. It was a near thing though. I looked around. I was in a dress shop. Or at least a clothing store. I saw half finished outfits on small horse mannequins, and a few finished ones near blackboards with numbers and sketches on them. Rarity turned and flashed me another winning smile. "Now, before I can get somepony to help you I need a name. I can't exactly call you an it and be okay with it. Why, the thought alone is unbearable." Ha, pony. No longer must I call these pastel crimes against camo horses. This was the first challenge. I hated going by my name, it was dangerous. Names had power. Even if I mostly used a pseudonym, I had used it enough that it still had power. I shrugged. "Dunno, I've gone by so many I couldn't tell you. Just throw a name at me and I'll take it." Rarity paused at that, before vehemently shaking her head. "No, that won't do at all. A creature like yourself must have a name. Come on now." At this she walked up and hit me with the most effective puppy dog eyes I had ever seen. Before she said one word. "Please?" Goddamn magic words. "Fine. Draitha." Rarity looked at me confused. "I'm Draitha. It's what I go by the most anyways." I saw a couch. I walked up to it and flopped down. "I guess it will do at least. And please don't ask for my true name, it's... well it's private." Rarity nodded. "Of course, a mare must keep her secrets." I paused, and stared. Okay, mare meant girl, so she knew I was a girl. She sounded like this was a joke, so she was a mare. Now the obvious question, how? I couldn't tell gender of new species easily, and despite my more, erm, obvious feature, my fatigues didn't exactly compliment my figure. Rarity seemed to see my questions. "Dear, if I couldn't mark you as a mare from your walking alone I would barely be a lady. A lady must always know who she is talking to." I shrugged. It wasn't the most outlandish thing I had heard. I looked at her. "Yeah, uhh, you need anything else? I could pick up this place or something if you needed some help." I hated debts, worked with the fae a few to many times. Well only once, but it teaches a lesson quick. And it was at least eight more times than I wanted to work with them anyways. Rarity paused and shook her head. "I could never accept help from somepony in such need as you. No, if you could find the time to stand on the podium over there in a bit though, I would be most appreciative." I nodded and tried to get up before a hoof to the chest stopped me. It was surprisingly hard. "Not now you. I have to go grab a friend who can give you a helping hoof." I managed to hide my laugh. Pony puns, I loved it. Rarity didn't seem to notice. "But you get to sit down and relax, don't think I haven't seen that gash on your hand. When you do get up you'll find some cupcakes in the kitchen down the hall." I managed to hide my shock as she grabbed a few things and gave me a few rules. Mostly stay in this room, and don't mess with her sister if she came home. I stayed sitting for as long as it took for me to be fairly sure she was gone and flipped out my pocket watch. I glanced at the imp who gave me a thumbs up. He was an ugly little thing, but he was so sweet. "Hey bud, how long?" He looked around the watch for a moment before pulling a small piece of paper from out of view and writing down. He flipped it to me. All it said was A really long time. I sighed, if he didn't even have a year marker it must have been over ten years. That was the highest he could count and he normally rounded to the nearest thing he knew. So, long stay. The longest before this had been four years. Granted Chicago was nice, but I think I was done with it by the time I left. Plus that was where the fae were probably still looking for me. I stood up, making my way to the pedestal. As I stood on it I had a nightmare come to life. All the tailor's equipment came to life, and started measuring me. I felt tools whirl around me in a Kansas level tornado. I really wanted to scream, but I saw scissors in the corner that I didn't want to wake up. I took a moment to calm down, and watched that fail horribly. Okay, list time. What? When I get stressed I make lists. So, magic was real here. That meant I get my own magic. Cool. Two, sentient ponies, that was weird, but not horrible. Three, magic tailors are scary. There, a full list that had only one useful fact. Great. I watched the tools slow down, before a piece chalk wrote down numbers that I assumed were my measurements, and the rest of the tools dropped into their little homes. Okay, not dead, good start. I pulled my bag off my shoulders. and pulled open the top flap. I stared at the ever-widening hole that was an infinity sack. it was honestly my most prized tool. One thing from every world, a living scrapbook. I reached in and thought of my wizard gear, before pulling out an over the shoulder bag. Inside it was a collection of jewelry, and a hat. It was a beanie, custom made by yours truly. The stitching itself was in a runic design, with magic flowing through it. Granted it didn't do much besides a small high speed force-field for catching bullets, and ear protection, and a hearing enhancer. Okay maybe it did a lot more than I gave it credit for. I put on all the jewelry, which amounted to a ton of cheap copper and silver rings, and a single gold band. By the end of it I had a ring on each finger, and my thumbs mercifully bare. I opened another pocket and smiled. The last piece was an old charm bracelet. Sensei said my shield charms had to make me think of protectors, and barely questioned my choice of various different charms from my pack. It was a great gift. I channeled some energy into a ring, and felt it automatically channel into my open wound. I grimaced as I felt the skin knit back together into it's healthy shape. But at the end my hand was fine, not even a scar was left. I tossed the beanie up in my other hand and put it on, before glancing at myself in a mirror. I was still wearing my GI Joe stuff, and the beanie looked stupid with it, but I still felt like a total tool. I started diving back into my pack. I paused as my stomach rumbled again. Okay, new priorities. Food, then clothing. I peeked out of the back room, and saw that the coast was clear. With only a small amount of exploration I found a kitchen, with a lone cupcake on the table. I picked it up with all the reverence such a holy treat deserved. I slowly unwrapped the bottom, and took a lone, delicate bite. I don't think I could properly explain the orgasmic state the baked good put me in from a single bite, but the rest of the cupcake was sacrificed to make the feeling stretch. I let out a breath and smiled. "Oh yeah, I owe this girl big time." I made it back to the back room, and resumed my mission. I dived into my pack, looking through all my clothes in the makeshift void of magical hammer space. My search was interrupted as I heard a crash behind me. I normally would have turned to look at it, but I was waist deep in a knee high blue bag. As I pulled myself out I heard a voice behind me. "No way, no way can that thing fit in there. Oh, Celestia is gonna have so many questions. I bet Discord did this, one last prank before we sealed his happy butt in stone." I fully retreated, and look at that, a lavender unicorn. After talking ponies this didn't phase me. I was holding my bags prize in my hand. The unicorn stared. "Oh, it did fit." There was a pause as she stared, and then a glow enveloped my bag, pulling it towards the unicorn. "HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE!" Now, I'm super protective of very few things. My bag is one. I dived across the room, tackling my bag to the floor. I reached for my Mateba, and felt an empty pocket. Shit. It was still in zombie world. I looked at the unicorn. "Nobody. Touches. The. Bag." The unicorn stared at me. Then at the bag. Then back to me. "So it really can speak..." I nodded and opened the bag. I reached in, dropping off the clothes. I then thought of a weapon. That wasn't specific enough, and I felt a wall of metal and hard edges. I took a few deep breaths, and thought specifically. Defensive, quiet, pistol or blade. I felt fewer objects before feeling a smooth grip. I smiled and pulled out a pistol. A custom R51. A normally shitty pistol, but it looked cool. It was already in a holster, which I clipped to my belt. I drew the pistol and kept it by my side. The unicorn stared some more. "Okay. I'm Twilight Sparkle. Uhm, sorry about the bag." I nodded, keeping the pistol in my hand. "Yeah, just don't mess with it. It's... kind of important to me. Anyways I'm going to assume Rarity sent you." Twilight nodded. "Yes, she told me a strange thing named Draitha popped up looking dreadful and needing information. Then she fainted on my couch and said she'd drop by in a moment." I looked at her. Purple looking hair, pink streak, and lots of words. Yeah, weird. Moving on. I sat back down on the couch and checked over the pistol. After a moment of silence Twilight spoke. "So, uhm, what are you?" I smiled. It must have been scary, because Twilight backed away as I stood. I debated giving her a quiet answer, but wizards are allowed to be scary mysteries sometimes. I stood tall, gun in one hand as I hoisted my bag over my shoulder. "I am the Nightingale, the speaker of Sithis. I am the Lone Wanderer, and the sole survivor." I stood as tall as possible, and channeled energy into my rings and hat, giving them a large glowing field. "I am a wielder of the fires of creation. There is no creature like me in all the realms. Though you, you may know me as Draitha, the wanderer." As I said the last bit I fell to my knee and held a hand out to her. Yeah, I'm a total nerd, live with it. Twilight tapped it, which I assumed was a handshake and I stood up. Twilight looked mildly annoyed at me. "None of that answered my questions." She stomped a hoof on the floor. Adorable. I smirked. "I'm a wizard, I can be as mysterious as I want. Especially when someone tries to take my bag." I stuck out my tongue. I was a mature adult, and no one who debated that fact was around to prove me wrong. Twilight got no opinion as she was a pony. Twilight seemed to blush a bit before before trying to straighten her mane with a hoof. "Uhm, yeah. I guess I got a bit excited. Anyways I was told to take you to the library. I don't think a pleasant walk would end well though. The town can be kind of... skittish." I nodded. "So whats the plan? Flying, tunneling? Oh, I really like the idea of actually sneak-" And then my insides felt like I just turned into a black hole. My vision went black as I felt myself turn into pure energy. I then saw colors. So many colors. I was also throwing up. I held myself up with my knees before I heard a voice. "Dear, you did warn her of the teleport. Right?" I heard Twilight. "Ehehe, whoops?" Gods I could feel the blush. Then I collapsed on the floor. Author's Note So chapter one is up, and I'm already working on chapter two. I've been in a huge slump, so hopefully this is what I need to break out. Feel free to comment. I love feedback, and friends. If anyone wants to give me a hand writing I'd love having fresh eyes on my stuff. Aight, deuses. I honestly have no clue how to spell that. Crap, to late now. Roll with it.
Level One - Magic Libraries and Magic TricksI felt consciousness coming back. I took stock before opening my eyes. The floor I was on was very comfy. After a few probing finger pokes I deduced I was on a cubic butt load of pillows. I also heard voices, which matched Twilight the bag thief, and Rarity the magic pony. And those thoughts alone made me want to go back to sleep. I muddled through and participated in my favorite past time. Eavesdroppimg. "Now Twilight, I think she would be less than pleased if you took it for even a moment. From what you said she is rather protective of it." Damn right you beautiful pony. Now what are you talking about? I heard Twilight next. "But it's just a scan. I doubt she'd even notice. Besides if I could figure out that spell just imagine what I could do with it. I could send packages with more mass than a normal teleport allowed all the way to Canterlot." Rarity paused. "Well, I doubt she would agree. So the argument is moot." Okay. So I'm guessing they were talking about my bag. Good on the white pony And that's when I felt a damn pull on my bag. I drew my pistol from it's holster, surprised to find it there. I pointed it in the general direction of Twilight's voice, and tried to say. "THIS is my backup wand." Unfortunately my jaw seemed to barely work. So I actually said something like. "urrgh rah bacguhhh wand." Needless to say, this did not have the best result. But my bag remained in my hands, so victory was mine. I blearily sat up and looked around. Okay, wooden library. Check. Magic ponies. Check. Both were unicorns. Huh, didn't notice Rarity's horn last time. Ah well. Check. Nodding once I turned to Twilight, pistol lowering slightly. "I thought I said you don't touch the bag?" Twilight began stammering. "W-well, I-I..." Her ears flattered. "Sorry. But whatever spell let's you slip into it is so amazing. Just learning how to cast it could improve pony life. Just imagine packing your house for a full move and fitting your whole bed in a small bag. It's amazing." My God, I could see her running equations in her head. I shrugged. Being honest would probably be the best option to dissuade her. "Yeah, and imagine the wonder when somebody messes up the inside and blowing an unknown area into a scarred wasteland." Twilight stopped her equations and stared at me. I continued. "Or maybe if somebody was stupid enough to mess with the spell, then anything in the sack will fly out at a ludicrous speed. And with the stuff in here specifically.... Well it's gonna need a real good clean up crew for us." I smiled, and I'm fairly certain it wasn't nice. Twilight thought of this. Then Rarity took a few steps back. Then Twilight took a few steps back. Then I laughed. Hard. I saw Twilight stare, and Rarity damn near flinched away. Before seeing my gun fully lower as I tried to hold my gut. Rarity stepped back forward. "You absolute barbarian. That bag wouldn't really do that, would it?" She was grinning at me like I was a madwoman. She wasn't wrong. I smiled. "Of course it would, but I doubt you guys could get it to. Nah mostly it just has everything I know and love and would probably go insane if anyone messed with it." Rarity paused, her smile fading. But Twilight seemed to catch a second wind. "Wait, everything you own is in there?" I nodded, and began holding my bag closer. "Why don't you keep them at home?" Damn. Now I felt sad again. I dug a hand in the bag, holding a finger up with my gun hand. I pulled out a small blue plush. It was stitch, from Lilo and Stictch. Time for an object lesson. "You see this?" Both ponies nodded. "This is the only thing left from my home." Not technically a lie. Also not the full truth, but y'know. "The rest of it is... well I can't go back." I shrugged. "I've been gone so long I don't think it would matter anyways. I've probably already been declared dead, and I've got nothing waiting for me." I held the stitch close. After a moment I holstered the pistol and held it with both hands. The ponies were mercifully quiet for a moment while I finished my hug. Then I shoved it back in the bag and shook my head. At that Twilight spoke. "Oh." Well, that about summed it up. I just sat down. I normally held the story time off until I was facing a god or some other dramatic event. Doing it now ruined future dramatic tension. Damnation and Hellfire. Telling it to a bunch of ponies as part of conversation was not something I was prepared for. The moment ended as a fucking lizard walked down the stairs. Alone I probably wouldn't have flinched. When it burped and fire came out I jumped back. "Jesus Christ. That lizard shoots fire." The lizard looked at me. Then to a sad Twilight, then to a disturbed Rarity. He then shook his head and turned around. "Nope, this dreams to weird. I'm gonna finish my nap." I stared as he walked back the stairs. I heard the soft click of a door and a soft thump. I understood his thought process. Okay, ignoring the talking lizard I turned back to Twilight. "Anyways, I'm stuck here for a while, so if you wouldn't mind giving me a hand?" Twilight nodded slowly. "Well, I know I can arrange a place for you to stay, but we'll need to introduce you to town first. I guess first step would be to introduce you to my friends. Our word carries enough weight that if we all vouch for you the town should calm down about it. The only problem is getting you around." I saw a soft glow enveloped her horn before a petite hoof whacked her on the back of the head. "Dear, do not teleport this poor girl again. I don't think it agree's with her" Whoo, points for the marshmallow unicorn. I smiled and thought over looking for some in my pack, but decided against it. Marshmallows were for special occasions. Rarity continued. "Maybe ask her what she would do?" I smiled. "Gimme a minute and lead the way. I bet money no one will see me while we go where we're going. That includes you though." I dug through my pack and pulled out a skintight suit. It didn't cover my head, but I already had a little tool for that. My smile widened. "Where can I change?" It only took me minute to change. Also pony bathrooms look a lot like human ones. I put my jewelry on over the suit, and then grabbed a small hood. It was a keepsake now, gift from a friend and all that. It had a different name inscribed on it, but that was my life. I walked out and looked at the ponies. "So lets go." Twilight looked ready to ask a question as I raised the hood. The question was strangled as soon as I blinked out of existence. Well maybe that was an overstatement, but I did turn invisible. Both ponies began to frantically look around. I giggled. Twilight's eyes zeroed in on my location. "You can turn invisible? What type of mage are you?" I shook my head, which didn't have any effect. Damn invisibility. "No magic here. Just good old fashioned ingenuity. Just don't ask me how it works. I think some inventor made some evil deal with a computer or something." I could see more questions jumping out of her, but she managed to contain them. Though I thought she literally had to swallow them down. Rarity tapped her on the shoulder. I saw the door open nearby with her magical glow. "Come now Twilight, I think that Fluttershy needed us for something." Ooohh, pony subterfuge. Excellent. I walked slowly as they left, no sound escaping from my body. I may have been the best at blowing my problems away with wild abandon, but sometimes sneakily doing it was necessary, and I considered myself a master in all forms of explosive entrances. When they happened from an unexpected angle was even better. I followed them as they offered up badly coded small talk. Hell, they even called me their new friend, or bag colt. I almost lost my cool a couple times. I mean it was so obvious! Who talks like that? I moved silently, commenting in my head about the area. Mostly about ponies. They had freaking pegasi just floating around in the open. Oh, and I was pretty sure I saw a minotaur duck into a shop. Jesus this was weird. We slowly walked out of town, and I saw a small cottage coming into view. And that's when it all went wrong. Rarity and Twilight didn't notice, but with my beanie shoved on I could hear whimpering from the forest to our right. I thought of telling them, and decided it would cause a scene. I looked and saw the cottage was the last thing before the forest seemed to envelope the horizon. So I had a little rally point. I looked towards the woods where the whimpering came from, before slowly walking in. These woods were thick. I could see the various roots and leaves turning the ground into a nightmare for sneaking. I looked up at the trees and shook my head. The branches looked dead, so no clue if they'd support my weight. I proceeded as quietly as possible, and saw a pony in the clearing. It was a soft green in color, and had a lyre on the flank. The mane looked like a mint color, but I couldn't be sure with all the mud in it. There was also a horn. More unicorns. Cool. I walked up and poked her. Look I'm about as far from a doctor as you can find for official medical practice. Everything I've learned is on the spot fixes. I leaned over and whispered in the ponies ears. "Are you alive?" The pony screamed. I dived down as she looked around. "Who's there?" I sighed. "Gimme a sec. First, are you hurt?" The pony sighed. It was long suffering, and I was liking her more for it. "Yes, I've got a broke hoof, rear left. The bone broke skin." She said it clinically, like she knew what she had. She also said it painlessly, and in sing song. Paranoia mode engaged fully. I walked slowly up. "Alright. I'm not gonna show myself til I've healed you up. Just warning you, if this is a trap, well it wont end pretty." She didn't talk, though she did begin humming a tune under her breath. I saw the wound she was talking about, and it was kinda brutal. I clicked my tongue. "This'll hurt, like a lot. Sorry." The pony shook her head. "Nah, I managed to drink my pain numbing potion. But now I don't remember how to walk. I think I wasn't supposed to drink the whole thing." I paused and stared at her. "On the upside though. I feel really good right now. I smirked. One high pony was worth this distraction. As I said I wasn't a doctor, but my various magic spells couldn't reset a bone. I touched the bone. It was a fairly clean break. I grabbed the hoof and instantly put it down. I looked around and found a branch. I moved it to her head. "Bite down on this." She did without comment, though the humming didn't stop. I then re-grabbed the hoof. After a moment I put a steadying hand on the fetlock. I then pulled, and heard a sickening crack from the bone popping into place. I heard a strangled scream from the unicorn in front of me. I stared, there was still a large hole in her, but luckily we were now within my magic territory. "Okay friend, lets get you fixed up." She resumed humming a tune as I channeled energy. As soon as I tried I felt the ambient magic of the world hit me like a train. I could probably start shooting off fireballs like a fucking flamethrower. I smiled. I loved magic. I let the magic flow through me, and felt happy, heal-y thoughts. I saw a nice green glow coming from where my hands would be. I pressed them to the winds and whispered. "Cura Vitae" And the glow transferred to the unicorns fetlock. In case you were curious, I've never seen a wound heal that was pretty. I'll spare you the descriptors, but let's just say that it's disgusting. Sensei couldn't do this kind of thing, and honestly I wasn't great at it, but I had learned several shortcuts. I wiped of my brow, which now held a slight sheen of sweat, and smiled. "Okay, you're all healed up." The unicorn looked at me vacantly, before I remembered I was still invisible. This didn't seem to bother it though. "Heyyyyy, if you could grab my antidote from the bag that's be nice. Without the pain I'm just super loopey right now." I nodded and looked around. A lone bag was on the floor. I fished out a few vials, only one of which had a liquid in it. I gently poured it down her throat. As soon as it was all gone she shook her head. Then she looked around. "Wait, the buck!" She jumped up and looked around. "Hey, at least let me thank you." I giggled again. Two in one day, my reputation as a hard-assed killer of men might take a dive. "I'm still here, look at my voice." She did, and I lowered my hood. Now I'm not beautiful. To many scars and dings to count. And about a hundred broken noses. I looked like a slashed barbie with a hook nose. However she stared like I was an angel. With the hood lowered the full stealth field lowered. I towered over the small unicorn as she stared in a mixture of horror and joy. And then she passed out. "Damnit, why do ponies keep doing that?" I picked her up over my shoulder. I was happy she wasn't to heavy, and her bag wasn't either. I flipped my head around like a dying fish, until my hood was up before jogging to the cottage. I arrived at a scene of odd serenity. Twilight was talking to a door. "Now Fluttershy, I sent Rainbow Dash with a note to the Princess, so she'll be by shortly. And besides, I'm pretty sure she's a nice creature. Just come out and I'm sure she'll come out soon. Honestly she might have been spooked by that thing with the bear." Oh I had missed a party. I coughed slightly and Twilight turned around. Then she screamed. "FLOATING PONY"!!" I shook my head, laughing. After slowly putting Lyra down, I lowered my hood. "Sorry heard a pony whimpering, she was messed up, so I helped her out." My story seemed to only confuse Twilight more, but I shrugged. She walked over to Lyra before grimacing. "Oh Celestia. You had to find the one pony who was as weird as Pinkie?" I had begun digging around in my bag, looking for a pack of smokes. What, I have bad habits, it's allowed. While I grabbed one I gave a half-hearted grunt. "What's a Pinkie?" I flipped out the pack and lit a smoke with a finger. Gods I loved magic. Then a pink god damned pony jumped out from my bag. "I'm a Pinkie!!" I fell on my ass, scrambling from my bag. "JESUS ON A FUCKING PIKE!!" Now I know what your thinking, but honestly I had had a few close encounters with shit in my bag. I had accidentally hatched some crab things that charged out when I tried to make an omelette. This was the officially prescribed reaction. Granted I didn't have a rifle, so I didn't spray her with suppressive fire, but it probably would have ended poorly anyways. I say suppresive fire, because I rarely hit anything panic shooting. I stood up, facing the Pink horror as she walked out of my bag, and lowered herself to all fours. "wow, that place was way roomier than I thought." She dusted herself off, and then dug a hoof around in her mane. I would probably have set phasers to snark, but I was currently blinded by the utter singularity of pink in front off me. She found what she was looking for, and held out a small box to me. "I haven't had time for a full party yet, but have this." I took it and flipped the lid. A cupcake sat in the box. I smiled. Sweets were nice. Especially if they taste as good as the first. Then the pink horror bounced in place. "YAY, now I get to plan a welcome to Ponyville party and a new friend party." I was about to comment as Pinkie seemed to pause in mid air. "Wait... I also have to plan a party for Luna, she's gonna be here in." She glanced at a bare hoof and ran off. I glanced at the pink monstrosity, to find she was gone. "Well, that was eventful." Twilight looked at me and nodded. I took a moment to process everything that just happened finding my sanity wanting I decided to point to the green pony. "Fix that, I'm gonna go grab some stuff." I picked up my bag and looked around. "Where's a table?" So the only table was inside. And after Twilight convinced Fluttershy I wasn't going to eat her I was allowed in on the condition of being nice to a pegasus. Which I could totally do. I sat on the floor in front of a table, with a small collection of nick knacks. I looked over at a light that I had hooked to a battery. A small picture of fluffy, my former pet, was taped to it. I gently touched it before looking down at the various stuff on the table. There was a lightsaber, that was broken. I had always hoped to fix it, though it was probably best I didn't. A small energy pistol with about four shots left. Then the actual gadget I was working on. It was a small spider made out of clockwork, that was currently jammed into ball mode. I picked it up and took a screwdriver to a piece of rust in the leg assembly. After scraping it off I glanced at my tool box. I knew a gear was missing, but with my ever expanding spare parts I could probably jury rig it. The problem was I needed a very small drill bit to get it into place. As I reached over I heard a small voice behind me. "Who's that cute little guy?" I turned to face Fluttershy, staring at fluffy's picture. He had been a wolf. He came almost to my chest, and had a solid grey coat. He was also a vicious beast who only listened to me, but I loved him. He was the most cuddly. "That was Fluffy. He was my friend, a long time ago." I smiled and touched the picture again. I totally didn't have to stop a lone tear, I'm to scary for that. Fluttershy definitely noticed I was sad though. "Oh no, what happened to him?" I sighed. "I was leaving. It happens, I can't stop it. But he knew it was coming. Right before I did we were attacked. Some crazy zealots from some cult I had messed up. Anyways they jumped us as I was finishing up packing and manged to fire a shot." I pointed to my chest, where a small scar was hidden under my suit. "He jumped in front of it. It tore through him, but after that the shot didn't kill me. Then I left. After that though, I really wished I didn't." I rubbed the spot where I had taken the round. Before I heard a sniffle. "So he died?" I nodded. "Yeah. he died to save me. He's one of..." I began thinking. "Three things I have pictures of. Him, my sensei, and some angel who bound a photo to my soul. But he was cool enough I let him." I shook off my sad miasma. "Anyways he was the best boy, no denying." I pulled out my tool kit and grabbed all my drill bits. Fluttershy didn't move, but she didn't speak. I slowly made a semi fitting gear out of spare parts, and jammed it in with the drill bit. I heard the snap as it locked in place. The spider unrolled turning into it's eight legged form. I smiled at it. "Alright creepy. You feel better?" He bobbed his head as Fluttershy gasped. I heard her back away, which creepy seemed to stare at. I snapped at him. "Hey man, I need focus." He seemed to glare as much as his little ruby eyes would let him. It was almost cute. I looked over his brass body before smiling. "Girls, I'm going out back. I'll be back in a second." I looked at my unfinished smoke before grabbing it. A quick hand gesture saw Creepy crawling up my arm and perching on my shoulder. I heard a little gasp from behind me. I ignored it and walked outside. The backyard of Fluttershy's cottage was an animal preserve. Not in some ethereal way, like a literal actual preserve. I saw a bear freaking wave at me. I looked over at creepy and nodded. "Full check little buddy. Make sure your back up to snuff." I heard a happy click as he rolled down my arm in a little ball. I felt energy snap around me. I smiled. It had been to long since an obvious ambush. Thinking and looking I saw no more animals. It was also now utterly silent. I loved it when the bad guys made it so I didn't have to worry about collateral. I tried not to clue in my attacker, leaning on my side up against a wall. I took a lazy drag as Creepy went around pulling odd movements and jumping around. I nodded towards him. "Recognition sensor too little bit. I know you hate it." He glared and chirped. He did it over and over until the chirps did an approximation of hello, before glancing at me. It did it's job as a small click came from behind me. I smirked and reached into my pack as nonchalantly as possible. Granted with my normal lack of subterfuge I was muttering various spells under my breath, but hey, I didn't blow up the ground behind me without looking. Who said I couldn't play nice? By the time I gripped a small flashbang I felt the blade lightly touch the back of my suit. "Shit, and here I am without a blade to poke you with." There was a pregnant pause, and a voice as quiet as the night wind seemed to emanate behind me. That wasn't me using fancy words, it seemed to move like a natural force instead of a voice. "Thou willst remove Thine hand from the bag, creature." I paused a moment. Anything that seemed to talk in ways that seemed godlike wasn't the thing to flashbang and run. But I wasn't known for wise decisions anyways. "Sure, you want a water?" She paused as I withdrew my hand and put my thumb through the pin. I also pulled my bag up my shoulder so I had it on my back. I held up the flashbang. "You know what this is?" I saw a faint midnight glow surround the flashbang, and then leave it. "It is of no concern. But thou art an unknown, and as such we must scry your intentions with all due caution. Thou wilst turn and allow us to read thine mind." I turned slowly, which she appeared to allow. And then I saw a freaking goddess. It was also a pony with wings and a horn, but the power rolling off her was unreal. I still wasn't going to back down though. No one expects a sucker punch when they obviously outclass you. I smiled at her. "You know, I don't like people in my head, how about I do a magic trick instead?" She slowly raised a second sword with magic, as if challenging my joke. I just kept my smile going. "I bet, I can make this thing explode without a single spell." Now she looked a bit more interested, and stared at the device. I jangled it. "It's a little toy I have, bet it'll make us both laugh." With that I pulled the pin and dropped it. In the goddesses defense, she covered it in a shield as soon as it dropped. I used this distraction to raise my hood, and as I turned invisible I tapped the hood once, turning myself blind and deaf for four seconds. I waited it out, and when my senses returned the goddess was flailing. Eyes closed and ears flat. I worked fast, picking up creepy and drawing a pistol and pointing it at her. It took three seconds for the goddess to recover, which was actually more time than I thought it would. She turned to me with rage in her eyes, until she saw I was holding something at her. She paused, staring at me. I waved with my free hand. "So if you're done doing the whole interrogation thing, let's talk." I gestured with the pistol. "I really don't want to use this, but I really don't like dying either. So..." I let the sentence hang as I brought the pistol back on her a moment. I then gestured at the sword. "On the count of three, I lower my toy, you lower yours." This plan had never worked, but hope springeth eternal. The goddess surprised me by lowering her own swords before a countdown even began, and she smirked at me. "It has been a millennia since somepony has even been half as fun as thou." She looked me over. "And thou have a brain." I took the compliment. I also lowered my gun. I gestured to Creepy. "Hey little man, get in the side pocket." Which he happily did. He was barely sentient, but he could sense power with that little magical core he had. He also had enough brain to not mess with anything powerful enough to turn small nations to dust. As he climbed up my leg Luna stared. I smiled. "Now then, let's start the talk with some rules. I won't try anymore fancy tricks, if you don't try to read my mind like a children's book. Deal?" The Goddess nodded. "Very well Ms. Draitha." I froze at the use of my name, which she definitely caught. "And you may call us Princess Luna." I swore, her grin was more predatory than any other creature I'd seen. I rolled my eyes, what had I gotten myself into with this pony shit. Author's Note Two chapters, one day. Whew I'm tired. Well, work beckons so I'll try to catch a few Z's, have a wonderful day. Previous offer for writing help is still open.
Level Two - Moon's RaysSo apparently I had gotten myself into tea time with a goddess. This was actually a first. The closest thing before this was some rushed Burger King with a fae lady. Granted that had been a day and a half on it's own, but it hardly matched a legit garden tea time. I looked over the recently materialized table. "So do you conjure tables often, or is it just a party trick?" Luna smiled and wave at Fluttershy, who was trying to meekly sneak a peek while brewing tea. "No, tis..." She scrunched up her face for a moment. "It is just a teleportation spell. I always have tea on this table. No exceptions. The table is somewhat special." I looked it over. It was dark midnight blue, with stars spelling our Luna's name. Though expertly made, the stars looked like Luna's name was written in a child's handwriting. In all it's scratchy, uneven glory. I tried to fathom why, but shelved it as Luna looked ready to barrage me with questions. "Princess, if I may, I have a standard protocol when dealing with beings at your level." Luna quirked an eyebrow. "You have dealt with beings like us before?" I nodded. "And a few that could blow you out of the water, then drink the water you were in because you weren't enough of a snack." Yeah, the demon king from a while ago could eat her alive. So glad he was stupid. "Anyways we play a game. You get a question, I get a question. We can not answer if we please, but no one can lie." I reached into my pack and thought of one specific tool. "This will beep if we lie." I pulled out a small star. A healthy fireball that didn't burn my skin. I placed it in the middle of the table. "Here's where the game part is. If we don't lie, but don't tell the full truth, the star will flash. So we can use more questions to ferret out straight answers. First one to lie losses." She smiled at the little star. "Do you not trust the word of a princess?" I nodded again. "I don't trust anyone really, especially when they could turn me into pocket lint with a spare thought. besides." I smiled back at her. "Do you really trust me?" She let out a laugh. One. Single laughs are always creepy. "Ha. No, I do not, but you seem suitably cautious. I shall ask the first question then." I nodded and leaned back in my stool, balancing it on two legs. "What was that thing you dropped. It wasn't magical at all, but that noise..." Ohh, somebody was jealous. "A flashbang grenade, no matter what I answer the star will pulse for anything less than a full technical read out, so why don't I let you play with one?" She nodded and I scooped one out of the bag. I had a fair collection of them anyways, so even if she took it there wasn't a huge loss. "Don't pull the little circle. That's what activates it." I passed it across the table and dropped it in front of Luna. "My turn now. How easily can I ensure I never get ambushed by you again?" Luna chuckled at this. "A simple question, though if sparring with you is that fun you can't. However if you don't want me to actually stab you then not hurting ponies is a good start." The star pulsed slightly, and Luna stared. I smirked. "Playing things close to the chest princess? Your turn then." She nodded, while staring at the the star. "What, is that?" She pointed at the star with a hoof, as if it offended her godlike power. I chortled a bit. It was dark and mysterious, really. Totally not a girly giggle. "That's a North Star. It's something a friend of mine cooked up. Basically it's a light that had some fancy lie detector built in, but it uses some spells that make it basically tamper proof. He called it the North star because it will never guide you wrong." It was clunky, but I said everything, and the star didn't pulse. I smiled. "Now then, how likely am I to be able to get a home and a job anywhere in this world?" Luna took a moment to process this. While she did that I looked towards the door. Fluttershy was staring at me again, and I waved. Besides asking about fluffy she hadn't talked to me at all. I was fairly certain I scared her. As I rightly should. However, Rarity was walking out the door with tea, and was not quaking in her boots. My reputation as a fearsome killer in combat was not known to these colorful ponies, and their lack of fear nearly hurt my feelings. I waited as Rarity brought up some tea. She smiled and poured me a glass. "Sugar for you dear?" I nodded my head. "A ton of it please. I like sweet tea." She nodded and poured in a fair amount. No where near as much as I was used to, but I wasn't going to ask for more. As she looked ready to speak, Luna cut her off. "You may find a job and home easily enough. Once we finish your interview we must ascertain if you truly are just trying to make a life, then we'll decide how best to acclimate you." The star flashed again, Luna glared. I however smiled. I flipped my little detective switch. Mostly because she had said we. now she talked all prim and pretty until tea time, so a lesser woman would have assumed she was slipping back, but I knew what you did to try and sneak past the North Star. I had another interview. Thinking over the days reaction I thought of who all knew I was there. I remembered walking up to the cottage. Twilight said she had sent a letter to princess Celestia. Bingo. Now all I had to do was wait my turn. Luna grumbled. "Just how much info does this little star want?" I knew that wasn't her question, but that's how the game is played. "Only the full truth." I smiled as she glanced back up at me, then realized that she had asked her question. Pony pouts are adorable by the way. "My turn, when's my interview with Celestia?" It was cruel to wait for her first sip of tea, but the spit take was all the revenge I needed. She dabbed her face with a napkin. "Well, I assume the game is that you know the answers?" I smiled wide, taking a sip of my own tea, which was honestly pretty good. "Nope, the game is figuring out the right questions. That one was a freebie by the way. Now, I ask again, When do I meet Celestia?" Luna smirked. "I was right, you are most fun. She is due to meet you this evening, when day court is finished. And since you have so kindly explained the game I shall also release that I was here to decide whether or not you should get the chance to meet her." I nodded, made perfect sense, though Rarity's face, and her sudden backing towards the door made it seem more outrageous. Luna took a much more careful sip. "Do you plan on harming any of our subjects?" So, any pony you may meet in your travels, no matter how unlikely, will never tell you one thing. Humans laughing is apparently terrifying. And any response of sprinting away, or swords being pointed at you is to be expected. I only learned this after falling out of my chair, and then having Luna baring a frankly enormous amount of swords at me while screaming about my war cry. I think it has something to do with the teeth. After I finally recovered and lightly brushed the blades away I recovered my stool. "Nah, I hate hurting things. At least as long as they don't deserve it." The North Star pulsed. Traitorous bastard. Luna looked at it, but knew I had to be telling most of the truth. Then she smiled. Somebody was finally learning the game. She gestured to my seat. "Well then, I believe it is your turn." I nodded and tried one of the small cookies the princess brought with the table. Oatmeal raisin. I stared at it. I don't know how long, but it was long enough for Luna to get antsy. "Are you well Ms. Draitha?" I shook my head, then took a bite, savoring the flavor. "Yeah, 'm fine. Next thing you know you'll have creme horns." As soon as I answered the question the North Star beeped. Then zapped me with a small pillar of fire. "OUCH." I stared at it. "Murderous little bastard. That doesn't count Luna, no distracting with sweets." I looked to her, but she honestly looked more... concerned than anything. I shook it off. "Look, next question, okay? Who the hell is Celestia?" She nodded, but it was a slow nod, as if trying to catalog a large amount of information. I took another bite of cookie, while looking as angry as possible. Luna seemed to ponder something a moment. "Celestia is my sister, ruler of the day. She is the co-princess of Equestria, and a friend of the pony you know as Twilight Sparkle." I took the final bite of the cookie and looked at the crumb while chewing. I thought about how I should really be over this by now, I literally didn't know how long it had been since those days, but a few things brought back memories. Luna interrupted my reverie. "Why do my cookies make you sad?" I stared at her, and she flinched. I might have gone full angry glare, which was normally what started a long process that had ended up with three dead gods and a small genocide last time. I sighed and stared at the crumbs again. "You get one answer about that, get it?" She nodded, leaning forward. "So, background. I used to be normal, for a human I mean." With that I gestured at my body. "My species isn't special, most can't use magic. Hell, where I came from nobody can. But, one day, I just... poofed away. Went through the cracks in reality. I popped up in some other world, lived there a while, and poofed again. I've been hopping ever since. Normally I appear beside a dead body, take their identity, live as them for a while." I shrugged, then glanced at the cookie tray. "And a few things, remind me of someone. Someone close to me." I sighed and grabbed another cookie. "It's the closest I'll ever get to seeing him again. So that's why your damn cookies make me sad." I threw the cookie, watching it sail across the sky. As it flew I pointed a finger at it. "Solaire" A jet of fire flew form finger and melted the cookie into ash and dust. "Game over." And with that I got up, and walked to find a good sitting tree. It took a while for anyone to approach me. Apparently shooting off a magical disintegration beam to end a game is not considered either normal or sane by most ponies. I did get a tray of oatmeal raisin cookies teleported to me though. I glared at them as I munched. I could never bring myself to keep them in my bag. Despite the near limitless space, I didn't have many bags with a time stop spell on them. But one did have milk, which I gladly drank with the cookies. I expected to be left alone for the rest of the day, or at least until Celestia arrived. So imagine my shock that Fluttershy seemed to walk up after a few minutes of mentally girding herself. "Uhm, if it would be okay... I mean, if you don't mind. Could I... sit with you?" I gestured at the free spot across from me. "Free country." She nodded and sat in it, a small basket in her mouth. This led to a minor crises of faith about speaking with a basket in her mouth, which I quietly resolved as pony magic. The yellow pegasus (I still want wings dammit) opened the basket, and supplied her own glass of milk, as well as a variety of muffins, treats, and to top it off, a small batch of scrambled eggs. I quirked an eyebrow at it as the small pony looked to me. I sighed. "I feel like there's a master plan at hoof Ms. Fluttershy." She nodded, which was surprisingly confident given her inability to talk. Then I noticed her staring at my teeth while muttering. "Not a lot of canines, so mostly plant with meat as an additive. Ape like, so most of out grains are right out. Oh, and looky there, those rear teeth are definitely for grinding." She continued like this under her breath, it was mildly unnerving. However having my diet planned out by my teeth was far from the weirdest thing to happen to me today, and she wasn't asking me to talk. She then picked up the eggs and passed it to me. "Rarity said you hadn't had anything to eat when you showed up. I know cookies are good, but you need actual food too." Oh look, sadness was knocking again. I grabbed the plate without thinking. "Yeah, believe it or not I've made that speech a thousand times." She tilted her head. She was cute as a button. I took a bite of eggs. "I hate eggs." This didn't stop me from taking a second, larger bite. She tilted her head the other way as I continued eating. "Who'd you give the speech to?" I shrugged, actual food was good for getting me to chatter, plus I was honestly fairly tired from spellcasting, so my tragic backstory (trademark) could be opened up a little bit. "Close friend... the closest. While ago, back before I became all this," I gestured over my body. "I was his impulse control. He would want to stay up on some hair brained scheme, or eat stupid stuff because it was closest. Then I'd have to swoop in and fix it." I took another bite off eggs. I really didn't like eggs, unless they were a good omelette. "He did the opposite for me. I'd try to do the perfectly logical thing, and he'd run in wearing a pair of sheets to spirit me away to toga parties, or some other weird shit. We really worked well together." Fluttershy sat there for a moment, and I finished the eggs. I popped the plate on the floor, then drank my milk. The next thing I knew I was on the receiving end of a pony hug. I could feel a muzzle in my chest, which was weird. I raised my hands and muttered. "Dammit, this was Justin's thing." I gave a half-hearted tap with my hands that could have been construed as a hug in certain lights. Fluttershy backed away sheepishly. "I-I'm sorry, it's just y-you're so sad. I thought a hug might make you feel better." I smiled at her, like really smiled. Gods, before that I think the last time I really smiled at someone was saying goodbye to Piper. I shook off the memories. Being in funks makes me remember, and I hated that. "Yeah, hugs help. I just wish I could be somebody else, that makes this way easier." Fluttershy didn't seem to understand, but nodded anyways. I leaned back, enjoying the calm. I was about to close my eyes as a soft hoof tapped me and pointed towards the house. I gave a quiet harumph, but grabbed my pack and walked to the house. I opened the door to find the inside completely black. My senses went wild. My old friend paranoia was knocking on my door. I pulled my pistol out of it's holster and kept it in my right hand, and channeled energy into my left. I took one step and touched a tripwire. Suddenly colours were blasted in my face. I saw an outline move above me and raised my pistol to it. "SURPRISE!!!" I then was tackled by a pink event horizon. A pistol shot fired, and I hit the dirt. I heard screams, and saw confetti all around me. Apparently I had tried to shoot a surprise party. Whoops. Author's Note Three chapters, woot. I'm having a blast with this story. Comments are loved,so feel free to drop a line.
Level Three- A Night To RememberRain splattered the concrete around my feet. The ambush had been perfect, and I was alone. I held my jury-rigged rifle close, trying to pick out targets from the fog. I was still stuck in some lab building, and Macready had been a few rooms down trying to fix up his pistol. I peeked through the destroyed hallway, seeing a few figures chatting. I raised my rifle, looking down the homemade reflex sight. I put a head between the screws, and popped off a round. The body crumpled, and the other figures turned to me. I ran, ducking into another building. A deactivated eyebot sat on the table, which I quickly tore through. Finding a small microfusion cell, I switched to my laser rifle. Plugging in a new power cell I smiled. "Come and get me." The building was quieter now. It had been a few hours since everything had gone to shit. Gunner's had attacked, and I still couldn't find Macready. I finished my little hard point in the lab. I used my new barricade to look through the hall. I could see a few gunners walking around, but none looked twice at the barricaded room. I guess when half the building is collapsed a single unreachable room isn't weird. I looked at the small tripwire and shrugged. A nap would work, at least until I could figure out a plan. I woke up to someone setting off the trip wire, making my pip-boy ring quietly. I grabbed the laser rifle and listened. Someone had entered through the outside window, and I could hear there footsteps slowly marching towards me. I raised the rifle, letting my breath snake out of my lungs. I waited until I saw a chest, then fired. Macready fell, a confused look on his face. I screamed, he screamed. The world seemed to shift, and he gargled sentences at me through melted lungs. "I'm sorry, oh gods, I thought you were a... a...." Tears spilled out of my eyes. Macready smiled, holding my head weakly with one hand. He just shook his head. It took only a moment before he died in my arms. I bolted up,my eyes widening as I tried to remember where I was. "NNOOOO!" I looked around. I was being stared at by ponies. I had forgotten that was a thing okay? I also was staring at a hole in the floor beside me. There was no blood, so bonus points for me I guess. I shook my head, and Fluttershy came up to me. "Are you okay?" I tried for a cocky grin, but it died on the way, leaving me with a grimace. "Don't like surprises." I looked around. There were a couple new ponies. Lyra was still there, passed out on a couch. A blue one with rainbow hair was there. One with a blond mane and a stetson, and then the others I had met. The pink one was there too. I thought her name was Pinkie, but that seemed too on the nose. She seemed unperturbed by my outburst, which I attributed to insanity. There was also a pony in the corner. It wore a dark hood, which covered it's face. I stared for a moment before shaking it off. Luna walked up next. "Ms. Draitha, What was that?" She pointed towards the hole. I raised the pistol. "It's what this does. Last time a bunch of people jumped out screaming surprise I got a knife between the ribs." I sighed, trying to shake it off. "I'll join the party, I just... I need a place to change clothes, where's a private area?" Luna pointed me towards a small room in the cottage. I walked in and routed in my bag for a minute. I thought of about five different outfits, and decided against them. "HAVE YOU THOUGHT OF WEARING A DRESS?" I jumped and turned around. Oh goodie, the pony had followed me. "It's rude to watch someone changing." I said, while still routing through my bag. Well, a dress would be nice. I still had that cute little red piece from the last world. It even had a matching holster. It was for a different pistol, but a girl's gotta accessorize. I pulled it out, as well as the matching holster and pistol. I threw the R51 back in. Then stared at the pony. "Shoo, I need privacy." The pony tilted his head. "I HAVE SEEN THAT DRESS BEFORE, AS WELL AS YOU." I stared at this pony. He seemed to consider his option. "A DEAD DRESS, A DEAD WOMAN, ALL IS FITTING. YOU ARE WELCOME HERE, DO NOT MAKE ME SEEK YOU." He paused, staring at the small metal circles in my arms. "THOUGH, A JACKET MIGHT STOP SOME UNWELCOME QUESTIONS." With that he vanished, leaving me confused. I walked out in my little red dress, with a sleeved leather jacket covering my arms.. I felt sexy, which was a nice change of pace. I normally felt like a killer, or at least a small monster. And I saw stares. While they weren't the lust hungry stares I liked, they also weren't human. I walked the way I had been taught to be a walking beacon of sex appeal and power. While it didn't hold as much power as I wanted it did leave an impression on Rarity. "Oh dear, you look positively magnificent. While your other outfits have been ghastly this.." She gestured with a hoof. "This is what an alien should look like." I smiled. The way the dress hugged me, the way the holster on my thigh was shown through it's slit. I have to admit, I felt downright great. Rarity wasn't letting up though. "Oh my, and this has given me so many ideas. If this is formal attire for your species then they have some good ideas. I mean those golden butterflies, that beautiful inlay. Oh, and that jacket, positively ravishing. I could design three new outfits just on that alone." I smiled. "I have a few more like this if you want to see them later." Rarity nodded as the blue pony flew up. Oh, goody, more flying ponies to rub it in my face. She looked me over, her gaze pausing at my pistol. "I'm Rainbow Dash, best flier in Equestria." She held out a hoof, I grabbed it, and she pulled me into a hug. "My friends trust you, but I saw what those things can do. Just be careful, I'm watching you." She backed away and I smiled at her. Well, more accurately I showed my teeth. "Don't worry." I whispered. "As long as no one messes with me, I won't mess with them." I have to admit, Rainbow reacted well, barely flinching from me. I had to readjust my gaze to her forehead, so as to avoid soul related mishaps. I couldn't tell who would win the stare off, and a pink pony ruined it. "Hey Dratty, I'm Pinkie Pie, and I threw this party just for you." I stared at the pony who was certainly completely insane. She threw her hooves in the air. "And now that you and Rainbow Dash has done that whole scare the new pony routine we can start the party!" Her voice sounded like a helium tank turned into a pony. And when she finished the room changed. Like in an instant. Suddenly streamers replaced the floor confetti, and a banner unrolled that said welcome to Ponyville. I stared as a small speaker began playing music. I moved to a couch. This was nice. The cowpony walked up. She looked at me while chewing, which made me smile. That was my favorite nervous tick. She made her way to me, before waving. "Howdy there, Ah'm Applejack." I waved back, reaching my pack. I pulled out an apple. I looked it over and passed to her with a grin. "Apple for an apple?" She smiled back. "Now ain't that a thing? Ah ain't never met bad sorts who keep apples in their pack." She took a bite, and thought a moment. "Now that don't taste like any apple I'd ever had. Seems like it wasn't grown right." I chuckled a bit. This whole world seemed to exist to make me happy. "It's a wild apple. I think I got it from a grove that had been abandoned for a while." I reached in the pack and pulled out the whole small bag of various fruits that I got from Harold. "All of these are from a friend I met a long time ago. He pointed me to where he hid his favorites." Thus began a boring conversation explaining the large amount of fruit I had. Towards the end I gestured to them. "Take 'em. I doubt I'll need them anymore. Honestly they were for emergencies, and I think I'm going to be fine here." Applejack looked at the fruit, then nodded. "Well sugarcube, Twi asked me to host you in my spare barn. Ah'll be honest, Ah wasn't sure if ah would." I nodded, I could live in the wilds honestly. Applejack raised a hoof at this though. "But, anypony willing to share can't be all bad. Ah got the old barn in my north field set up as a guest house. Y'all can stay there until the princesses figure out what y'all are doin'." I nodded. I didn't like any home I hadn't cleared already, but security I could do myself. I nodded. "Once I get set up it will be dangerous, just make sure to knock when I move in. And if you see a note, listen to it." Applejack raised an eyebrow, but nodded. "Aight sugurcube, just don't break nothing." I nodded and looked around. No alcohol, which I couldn't stand for. I dug in my bag for a minute, before laughing. Suddenly I was the center of attention as I pulled out a bottle of Jack. I held it out like it was holy. "I am become drunk, destroyer of worlds." I saw Fluttershy fold her ears down, but I ignored that as I popped the top and took a swig. It burned, which felt great. I nodded at the ponies. "This is what my group always partied with. Or at least something close to this." I reached in my bag, grabbing a glass. I poured myself a shot. "So do you ponies know what a toast is?" Twilight answered. "Yes, it was an old ritual where everypony would drink something in honor to a specific event or reason." She then flipped open a small notebook and wrote in it. "It's not in common practice anymore, but I can assume in your culture it's still used." I nodded. "Then let me show you how it's done." I raised the glass high and shouted. "To absent friends." The other ponies stared. "Then you guys repeat it." I was met by a few muttered repetitions. I shrugged and downed the shot, feeling delightfully warm. Pinkie jumped up. "If your friends aren't here why not just invite them?" I sighed. "By absent I meant dead Pinkie, as in eternally absent." I expected a sad reaction, or maybe a shocked gasp. Instead I was shocked as Pinkie stole my damn whiskey. She raised the bottle and shouted. "To sad ponies, so they'll cheer up!" And with that she took a small sip, and passed the bottle back. At her saying it the other ponies repeated it, with a bit more spirit than mine. She looked at me. "Did I do it right?" I nodded, and grumpily checked my amount of whiskey. It was only one shot, but actual Jack was rare. "Yeah, could have asked though. Crazy pink pony." She smiled. "Oh yeah, can I steal your drink to try a toasty thingy?" I stared at her. "You mean again, or are you just asking for the one you already did?" She nodded. Great, answers poured out of her like water from a desert. I sighed. "How about I just nod and you don't steal any more jack?" She nodded, I nodded. There was a lot of nodding. I capped the jack, throwing it back in my pack. After that little bit of excitement the party continued as normal. I saw Twilight try to dance, and then I saw Rarity actually dance. One was horrifying, the other graceful. I'm going to assume you'll figure it out. I had even managed to secure a small plate of food. Fluttershy had gotten it for me, and it wasn't all sweet's sadly. I was getting tired though. Sleeping wasn't something I could normally do with others around. I looked around for Applejack. I found her arm wrestling Rainbow. Or, hoof wrestling I guess? Either way I walked up. "Hey Applejack?" She smiled at me and slammed Rainbows hoof on the table. "Yeah sugarcube?" Ah, southern nicknames. Some things always make me feel better, even if it was from ponies. "Uh, if you don't mind could you show me to the barn real quick. I think this is a few to many ponies for me." She looked confused for a moment but shrugged. "Twi said if yah were willing she'd just teleport yah. I know it don't rightly agree with you, but it would be a whole mess easier." I shrugged. "Alright then, go grab her. I'll be ready when she tells me." I looked around as Rainbow glared at me. "How is seven ponies to many?" It was an obvious olive branch. One that she wasn't great at passing, but an acceptable one. "I don't like crowds. I've avoided groups bigger than four since I had a... a bad accident." I shuddered a bit. I could still remember steel tipped blades at my back, as most of my allies turned on me. I heard the screams as they slaughtered my friends. I was snapped out of my thoughts by a hoof waving in front of my face. "Yo, Draitha, you ok?" I slowly pushed the hoof out of my face and tried for a disarming smirk. Rainbow didn't buy it. "That's the second time you've clocked out like that. Then there was after that weird spell. Are you okay?" I shook my head. "Not at all, but I'll live." My smile faltered, and I forced it back on my face. "I always do." Rainbow looked ready to comment, but Twilight walked up. "You ready Draitha?" I nodded, as I saw a magenta glow cover me. "I think it'll be less jarring like this. We're going in three, two, one." And with that I was pulled much more gently through space. After a moment I was in an apple field. I looked at a well maintained barn. It was nice. I shuffled my pack as I heard Twilight talk. "Do you need any help?" I shook my head as I watched the sun set. I looked over the barn. "If you don't mind, I need to set this up. I can't sleep without some stuff around the house. Just knock if you need me." She nodded and backed off. The evil book pony was learning. I walked into the barn. It was spartan, with a bed, a couch, and a painting of an apple tree. I stared at it, then looked out the lone window, which had the exact same view of a lone apple tree. "Crazy farmers." I muttered while putting my bag on the couch. I pulled out a small collection of objects. Some were trip mines, some were noisemakers, and one was just a briefcase. I pulled out my pocket watch. Opening it up I looked at the imp. "Hey buddy." He smiled and waved at me. "We're stuck here a while, so if I put you somewhere nice would you enjoy being left open?" He looked thoughtful, a talon tapping his chin. Then he nodded so big it turned into a bow. I chuckled. "Alright buddy, I'll set you up a little stand in a bit, for now keep guard for me." he shrugged, we both knew he was a useless guard, but it made him happy. I set him up on the windowsill, looking at the tree. I then moved the various mines to key points in my barn. I looked it over, before popping open the briefcase. It was Mr. Friendly. Named because he was only used when I didn't want everyone at my door dead. Inside was a remote mine, a small tablet, and a large amount of post it notes. I dug a hole outside of the barn doors, before dropping the mine in it. Filling the hole I took the tablet and stuck it to the wall with a small attraction spell. I opened the app that hooked the mine to the tablet and looked it over. Okay, so I needed a riddle only the ponies I liked could figure out. Name was to easy, and something about them had an unknown quantity. I snapped my fingers. I typed in a question. 'Who did I offer a toast too?' I stared at it a moment before grunting. I'd find a better one later. I stuck a post it note explaining what to do, and to please knock if you had no clue what I was talking about. Also knock if you get it right before you enter because it's polite. I walked in and stared at the bed. It was much to small for me. Stupid pony midgets. I pulled the couch to the middle of the room. I then dug in my pack for a pillow and blanket. After some thought I also pulled out a long sword. It was crafted for work, a scimitar with a curved cross guard. I stabbed it into the ground beside the couch. I then curled up and fell asleep. I was awoken a few hours later to a small explosion. I rolled off the couch, grabbing the blade and looking at smoke rolling out from under the barn doors. I then cursed the lack of cover in my room. Sure I could topple the bookcase, but that would take time. Combat skills honed by the harshest of teachers, experience, turned on. I rolled behind the couch, using it as concealment while I slipped off my jacket. It could catch, or be grabbed. I cursed myself for wearing a dress. I didn't know anything about this world, why would I wear such a frivolous thing? The door cracked open, then paused. I ducked low, and used the window as a mirror. I saw the start of a hoof, then it paused, before sliding back. Then there was a knock. I held the blade across my body. "Nobody home. Please refrain all assassination attempts until business hours." I heard a soft chuckle behind the door. That gave me pause, because I definitely exploded the first person to try and come in. I then heard a calm voice. "I'm sorry to say I offer only conversation, though I probably should have listened to your little note." I scoffed at the voice. So something could take a low yield explosive. Not a huge surprise, it was mostly meant to wound anyways. I stood slowly, keeping the blade in a diagonal line across my body. "Enter slowly, then we'll see if I'll talk." The hoof reappeared in my vision, and the barn door swung wide. I saw another princess. The white fur, the ethereal mane. I cursed under my breath. Another damn goddess who walked into my room. I held up my hand as she readied to take another step, and gestured at the small red light she had been about to touch. She seemed surprised by it, but carefully stepped over it. She then smiled at me. "Well then, may I assume we can talk?" I shrugged, keeping my blade close. "Well, there isn't a blade at my back, so you've started right, but you lost those points by blowing up Mr. Friendly. I'll have to remake that." She glanced outside. "Was Mr. friendly the explosive that went off? Forgive me, but he hardly seemed friendly." I lowered the sword slightly. "He is compared to the one you just almost touched. That one would have blown up much worse." She looked me over, and stared at my arms. Shit. "What happened to you?" I glanced at my arms. The iron nails I had hammered in over my travels each had a small spell on them, keeping them in place and glowing in a soft white light. I sighed. "Nails in my coffin princess. Just an old tale that I turned into another one." She glanced at each one. "You did that to yourself?" I grimaced. "Yeah, every friend gets a nail. They're my pack." At this she seemed a bit more revolted, and curious. That was honestly weird to me. She looked at me. "A tale?" I nodded. "A poem, from my home." I sighed and stabbed the blade back into the ground. No fight today. I let out a breath and repeated the poem. "Now this is the law of the jungle. As old and as true as the sky, And the wolf that may keep it shall prosper, but the wolf that shall break it will die." I idly traced my finger on the nail in my shoulder. " As the creeper that girdles the tree trunk, the law runneth forward and back; for the strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack." I touched the nail again, feeling a jolt of pain as the nail scraped bone. I grunted and picked up my jacket, throwing it over my shoulders. Celestia seemed to mull this over. "A true enough poem I suppose. Barring my... distraction, I am Princess Celestia, one of the rulers of Equestria." I moved back to the couch and pushed my blanket to the side, sitting on a clear cushion. "Yeah, yeah. I'm Draitha, and I don't feel like bringing out my titles. It takes to long." She giggled at that. It sounded like tinkling bells. "Of course, I must say my own can take to long to want to go through as well." I nodded, gods tended to collect titles, and if they were rulers too, I could only imagine. "How many breaths does an official crier have to take in your name?" She smiled at that. "Two, and an hours rest before and after." I smiled back. "Last time I went all out for a formal event, it was five, and the poor guy passed out after. But that was only because the noble I was visiting annoyed me." That seemed to cause a pause. Celestia tried to divine my meaning. "You are an exceptional creature Draitha." I shrugged. "Well, I'm well traveled. The stories I could tell." Celestia paused again. She sat ahead of me. "Do you know much about me or Luna's power?" I shook my head. "Well, while I do not appreciate leaving out things I will let you in on a secret. No lies can exist in the sun's light, as such, I can safely know anything you say that's a lie. And you're name is not your name." I nodded. She kept talking. "And Luna can ferret out any hidden fact in conversation. And you have truly killed gods." I nodded. Celestia paused at this. "I do not want a fight, but I need something. Some way to know you are not a threat to my ponies." I thought for a moment, then sighed. "You can read minds right?" It was her turn to nod. "I'll give you front row seats to my memories. I choose them, you watch them. I'll start with a fight, then we'll move on from there. The only exchange is that you help me set up a life." Celestia bobbed her head, mulling over my idea. Then she nodded. "Very well. I will watch a memory tonight, and every night following until I am convinced. If you wouldn't mind." She gestured towards my head. I nodded and started thinking one of me early real battles. A soft white glow surrounded me, and my world slowly faded. Author's Note So, how's this going along? I'm kinda writing a lot recently. None of my real life friends are bronies, so feedback is still loved.
Bonus Level - Drink DeepI had landed again. No bag, handful of dollar bills, and a photo. Honestly I was just glad my pockets kept there stuff. Maybe I should have gotten a bag before this. I stumbled drunkenly, trying to find where I was. I saw wasteland around me. I saw a short sword beside me, which if I remembered Jacobs lectures was of European descent. I picked it up. I wasn't a great sword user or anything, but it was better than a fist. I looked over my street clothes. A hoodie in plain black, jeans, and my set of combat boots. I sighed and hoisted the sword to my shoulder. I looked around. I was gonna miss Sensei, he was a good teacher. I tried to move around my energy, and felt it slow. "Really, no magic just after I figure it out?" I flinched. I had just said that out loud. I turned around. Okay, time to move. I picked a random direction. I had been walking for an hour, and was thirsty, and decided to distract myself with singing. I was halfway through some Jason Aldean song, before I found something good. I looked at the small spring in front of me. I knelt down quickly, and began shoveling water into my mouth. I was ecstatic, until some ass placed the blunt edge of a blade to my throat. I froze, and heard someone speaking a language I didn't know in my ear. I took a moment to process what was happening. I knew some words, namely shi meant death. I thought anyways. "Damn moonspeak. I shoved the blade away, hoisting the sword I held up. There was a samurai in front of me. I did not want to cross blades with a trained fighter. I tried to slowly back up, and he advanced. I sighed. Okay, what had Sensei told me about swordplay. Mostly don't be in it. But we had sparred. I pushed out the blade, giving him an easier target as he eyed me. I was desperately hoping he took the bait. he did, his sword flashing into mine, pushing it aside, and leaving him open to an errant shoulder check from me. I felt the nail in my arm dig in, but I ignored it. I then threw a kick into his gut. He rose up and spat. "Hazubeki!" I smiled. No clue what he said, but he was pissed now. That was probably. bad. He charged in, and I was suddenly embroiled in clashing blades. It was like a dance, each swipe and slash countered. I wished I had the ability to write, this would make a good poem. Both of us fought like wounded dogs, not much beauty, giving way to a natural beauty. I felt my arm buckle under an overhead slash, then slipped to the side. I kicked out once, knocking the samurai to his knee. I followed it up with a straight up sucker punch to the head. I heard a clatter as his blade fell. I glanced at it and kicked it away. And thus the tableau was set. Me, sword raised, staring down a kneeling samurai. He looked to his blade once, and lowered his head. I was there, dumbly waiting for a cue. I slowly lowered my sword. He looked up at me. I held a hand to my chest. "Angela." He stared at me, and then put a hand on his chest. "Yasumori." Well, introductions done. I kicked the sword to him and sat down. He looked confused, but made no move towards it. I nodded and looked at the spring. I took another sip. Then filled up my hand and offered the water to Yasumori. He eyed it for a while and stood, grabbing his blade he sheathed it, and took his own handful, He nodded towards me. I smiled at him, and I saw him smile back. I looked around again. Oh my, that was another group. I tapped his shoulder and pointed. He grunted and stood. He shook himself lose and grabbed the hilt of his blade. I followed suit. I saw four people charging. I could hear there war cries on the wind. Axes in hand, with the front runner holding a short blade and shield. Yasumori got lower. He said something in moon speak, but I could discern it's meaning. Here comes a fight. The fight was harsh. I felt every muscle in my body strain as I deflected another strike, using the momentum from their swing to power my own hit with the cross guard of my blade. I felt a crack as the woman's nose broke. I shifted my sight to the next one. A man with two hand axes reared them up for a two hand strike. I angled my blade to catch both, with the point forward. I was jarred when they hit, but I slid the blade forward. I felt the blade slide between ribs, and I let my body fall forward, jamming deep into his side. I then pulled back. The man behind me fell, and I saw the woman take a step back. I glanced at Yasumori, who had just manged a solid slash against some huge, axe wielding, man. As he fell I saw the shield guy grab him by the back of his head. I charged, using my blade to push the woman out of the way. It was a decidedly fatal way to move her. I felt red blood drip down my head. I saw Yasumori fall forward as the blade sunk into his neck. I yelled. There were no words in it, but I knew the damn murderer heard me. he never got a chance to respond. My blade flickered across him. Small cuts peppered his arms, and his weapons fell. He stared at me, and I kicked him in the head. he fell back, but I could see him breathing. "I JUST MET HIM!!" I gestured to Yasumori, who wasn't moving. "I MADE A DAMN FRIEND!" My blade shook in my grip. I took a deep breathe. "Sensei said mortals deserve a chance...." I looked over at the bleeding man on the ground, and raised my sword. "But I'm a bit more draconian than him." I put the blade above his gut. "I hope this hurts." I jammed the blade down, feeling the man try to struggle. I turned, leaving him pinned to the dirt. I walked to my dead friend. He looked peaceful. I found some parchment with some Japanese writing on it. I pocketed it and grabbed his blade and sheath. "Sorry friend." I closed his eyes, before hooking the sheath into my belt. I moved quickly, looting the dead, and finding both food and water. I peeked at the small shield. I took a knife from the fallen warriors and pried out a nail. "Well, about that time." I wiped the new wound on my arm, binding it in some bandages the warriors had. I picked up Yasumori's sword, looking it over. I grabbed his sheath, and tied it to my belt with the clothes of the fallen. I stared at the corpse for a moment, before bowing to it slowly, and turning my back to him. I needed to get away from here. Author's Note Well, google translate to the rescue. According to is Shi means something close to the fear of death, while Hazubeki means dishonor. If you know better translations pass them my way.
Level Four - Settle in, Saddle upI woke up to soft morning light. I shuffled calmly, enjoying the peace. I glanced over my shoulder. There was Celestia, looking at me with thoughts on her mind. I fell off the couch. "JESUS FUCK!" I sprawled on the floor, scrambling for a gun, a sword, even a sturdy stick. After a quick moment I realized I was not only alive, but she had been with me while I slept. I swallowed my paranoia. As I tried to stand I heard the princess giggle again. "I think we still have more to discuss." I didn't like the sound of that. I stood up quickly, bag dangling from my shoulder. I peeked in it and saw the void. Okay, nothing messed with. I looked at her. "Fine, keep it quick." She looked at me. "It has been so long since anypony has told me anything like an order." Her face was a mask, but mine was too. I didn't trust her, especially since I didn't remember falling asleep. She sighed. "Fine, I saw you in action there. You killed three creatures like you, for a friend you had known for approximately two minutes. This worries me, but also gives me hope. I shall allow you to stay, for now." I nodded and shoved a hand in my bag, before pulling out a breakfast bar. She glanced at it, but continued talking. "You are a killer, and one who is obviously hurt, so you shall have a caretaker whenever you leave the farm." I ripped open the bar, but paused as she said that. "I don't do babysitters." I took a large bite out of the bar, blanching at the taste. "I hate macadamia nuts." I then took another bite. Celestia's ears perked up. "Then why are you eating it?" I shrugged, which seemed to shut her down. She cleared her throat. "Well then, I shall repeat you will have a caretaker, but more to look at your..." She stole a look at my arms. "Injuries, as well as learn about you. Consider it as somepony to make sure that ponies don't automatically seem suspicious of you." I nodded, and took another small bite. I really hated macadamia nuts. But food was energy. I pulled myself into standing and dug around in my case. "You owe me one for Mr. Friendly. help me out." Celestia paused, before nodding. "Very well, what can I do?" I pulled out another mine, of approximate friendly payload. I smiled. Celestia took my request for a small hole well, and we replaced Mr. Friendly quickly. She then teleported away without another word. I felt it was rude, but checked the tablet regardless. It was fine, and I set it up with the new mine before going back inside. I took in the room and smiled. Time for the safe house ritual, weapon check. It was a few hours before anyone knocked. They actually knocked a few times, but I had an earphone in and was listening to music and didn't hear it until someone shouted for me to get my butt outside. I flicked off the trip mine with a thought and a twitch before opening the door. Applejack and Fluttershy were there, looking at me expectantly. I looked at them. Neither of us spoke until I waved, popping out an earbud. "Yes?" Applejack spoke first. "Well partner, yah left a hay of an impression. Celestia said before yah were supposed to leave the barn Flutters here had to give yah a full physical." I flinched. I didn't like showing off my arms. I sighed. "Fine, come on in, keep an eye out for red lines, don't touch them." Applejack looked and saw the three I had on entry points. She glared at them. "What in tarnation are those?' I shrugged. "Explosives, I need something protecting me if I want to sleep. It's a dangerous world." Both ponies lost their color at this, but I walked to the couch, which had a half disassembled rifle on it. I picked it up and assembled it rapidly, running through a quick function check before clearing it. I leaned it against the couch and sat down. I gestured to Fluttershy. "She'll want you to look at my arms." I shrugged of my jacket, showing my glowing nails. Fluttershy fainted, while Applejack had to excuse herself with a head dangling out the window. She turned her look to me after a few disgusting noises coming from the outside. "What happened to yah?" I frowned. I tapped a nail and uttered a name. A small picture came from it. "This is Captain Titus." They stared at the attractive man, with two brass studs in his forehead. His brown hair cut short. "Each nail is someone I've lost in my travels." I tapped a few more, then shrugged and took off the dress. I had to change anyways. I tapped the only nail on my chest. This one near a collar bone. "This is Macready." I showed him to them. Then muttered a cancel spell and all the pictures faded. "I never leave a friend behind." Applejack stared, and Fluttershy seemed to be stuttering awake. She sat up, and gulped at looking at me again. "Oh my, and all those scars. At least half of these weren't treated." I covered myself with my arms. "Hey, I did my best. I'm not exactly a doctor here." This was greeted with more silence. Fluttershy walked up and looked me over clinically. "You mean you patched up all your wounds yourself?" I was getting nervous. The last doctor I had visited drugged me and tested on me. I'd never gone to a doctor sense. "I uh, I don't like doctors." Fluttershy nodded. "Well I'm not a doctor, so sit still miss." I did as she began muttering and tapping me all over, before finally taking a step back. "You're surprisingly healthy. I know you did your best with all these, but half of those were nearly fatal due to improper dressing. The gash on your arm was near an artery, and the stitching was barely enough to keep it from ripping open." I froze, she told all that from how they healed? Geez, I thought I was good at combat medicine too. "Well, you suck pony doctor. You try patching a hole with a staple gun while getting shot at." Both ponies stared at me. Applejack spoke first. "What's a staple gun?" I smiled. New topic, time to run with it. "I have one, gimme a sec." I reached in my pack and pulled it out. I held it to the ground and fired. "See, you pull the trigger and it uses a link of metal to force two things together." Fluttershy stared, but Applejack just whistled. "Ah reckon that thing would be right useful in making walls and such." I shrugged. "Never used it for long term building, just throwing together a wall for a less than quick escape." Unfortunately, Fluttershy was not easily distracted. If anything she looked horrified. "You used that, on yourself?!" I flinched. bad distraction. I rubbed the back of my head. "Yeah... it was that or bleed out." She stared at me in horror. Applejack joined in this time. "Sugarcube, that thing looks like it would hurt yah even worse. How in the hay are yah still alive?" A good question, one that I could use to reforge my little personality. "I'm really stubborn. I got the thing back that opened me up." I traced the wound I was talking about, a large scar that went from my thigh to my navel. I shuddered at the memory. Close call. Fluttershy flinched, but her voice brokered no argument. "Stand up and turn around." I did, and she gasped. "Only two scars here." I nodded. I felt her hoof trace the scars. "This ones so small, but this one looks like a spear wound." I moved away. "The small one's where I got shot. The other is a spear wound. I was traveling with a group, they found out somebody would pay money for me. They tried to cash me out." I grabbed my bag and pulled out spare underwear. "I want to see the town, can somebody be my babysitter so Celestia won't turn me into a small rodent." The ponies didn't laugh, but Fluttershy nodded. "I still need to see... under those clothes." I flushed, and gestured to Applejack, who quietly made an exit. The check up was quick, and professional. I then quickly changed underwear and looked at Fluttershy, still flinching after I explained exactly why I was less than pleased about the examination. "Hey, what should I wear?" Fluttershy was less than chatty whenever I wasn't either hurt or sad. "Oh, uhm... maybe just something simple. And not scary, ponies might run away from you if you were any scarier." I nodded and pulled out a small plate carrier in a nice, dark tan. I like safety, so no judging. I pulled out a black turtleneck and slipped it on, before velcro-ing up the plate carrier. I pulled out some jeans and put them on, before slipping on my old combat boots. "Gods this feels right." I dug around in my pack as Fluttershy spoke quietly from behind me. "What feels right?" I pulled out a holster and clipped it to my plate carriers quick holster thing. I had never learned it's name, but it was on all my gear that needed one. I checked the holster, which was for a Taurus revolver. I dug out the revolver and froze. I knew this one. I smiled and pulled out a box of .357 and loaded it up. "Being in regular clothes. No dress, no fatigues, no stealth suit. Just a shirt and plates." I slid the revolver in the holster and slammed my fist into my chest. I heard then solid thump of ceramic and smiled. "It's nice." Fluttershy flinched at my solid thump. "Oh well, if you like it, then that's good. Are you ready?" I shook my head. "Nope, you're princess said she liked our spar and I don't trust her not to ambush me again for fun. I reached into my bag and pulled out a long curved blade. "And Yasumori will have my back." I lashed it to my back and smiled. "Now, where are we going?" Fluttershy's eyes betrayed that I looked a bit scarier than she would have liked, but she kept a lid on it. "Well, Rarity asked to see you, and I need to run and visit Open Paw for some new feed. If you thought it was okay we could do that?" I nodded and pointed to the door. "Mares first, I've got to lock up." She walked out and I flipped back on the trip mine as I walked out. I saw Applejack walking around her orchard. She appeared to be inspecting the tree's, which were probably hers since it was her barn. I waved, and she waved back as I followed Fluttershy. We walked into town in a calm silence, which I approved of. I caught several stares, and several ponies made sure to give me a wide berth, but it was acceptable. I moved through the village in awe. It was wonderfully simple. I saw ponies helping each other in a million small ways, and noone noticed. The houses were all nice and clean. I even saw a child wave to me. A child who wasn't terrified of the scarred murderer in their village? Perfection. I was led to the carousel building that I had landed beside. Fluttershy walked in easily, so I just followed. The front of the store was much less cluttered than the back I had sat in yesterday. It was decorated like a little girls dream, with pony dresses all over. I also saw Rarity, glasses perched on her head. I reached up to mine and didn't feel them. They probably fell off at some point yesterday. I pouted about that, but brushed it away. I followed Fluttershy as she picked up a magazine on a small table, and sat on a chair. I grabbed one and stared at it. It was in another language, and I couldn't read it. I stared for a moment before putting it down and waiting. Fluttershy noticed and looked at me, some worry tinting her vision. "Oh, do you not like fashion magazines?" I blew air out my nose. "I forgot my translator doesn't work on words. I'd have to grab my little buddy and get him to hand translate it, I might do that later." I started thinking if he would like it, he normally enjoyed working on projects. Fluttershy though, seemed interested. "A translator, so you aren't speaking Equestrian?" I shook my head. "Nah, I have a universal translator that does it all for me. Some kind of magic that translates surface thoughts into a voice. Honestly my voice is kind of hard to hear. To much screaming." I idly tapped at my forearm. I didn't mention that the nail there had it enchanted in. Then Fluttershy ruined it. "Can I hear your real voice?" I sighed. I rolled up my sleeve to the nail near my wrist. "Pull this out and you can." And she fainted again. I still don't know why ponies keep doing that. I moved the magazine off her face and stared at it a while before tossing it on the table. "Damn moon runes." It took almost an hour for Rarity to notice us. The fact I had begun making origami cranes and throwing them at her had nothing to do with it. I will plead the fifth to any other testimony. She did however, light up upon seeing us. "Oh, just the two I was looking for." She glanced at Fluttershy, but then returned her gaze to me. Apparently fainting Fluttershy was normal. I waved. "Yeah, Fluttershy said you asked for me?" Rarity nodded, and proceeded to look over my outfit. "Yes dear, I was just thinking of making you a new outfit, but I have no idea what you'd prefer. I could make a dress like last night, but I've hardly heard your opinion on what you want." I moved to look over her designs. They were sketched on white paper, and most were very colorful. "No clue. Has to have full sleeves, and I prefer darker colors. Anything past that though..." I just smiled. "Wait, easy to move in too, I like to be able to wear a thing like this with my outfits too." I gestured to the plate carrier I was wearing. Rarity barely noticed as new paper floated around her. "Of course dear, now do you like it to be form fitting or more flowing? Perhaps a nice shirt. Oh, but those dimensions are so nice, maybe those pants you have on would be a good base." She began half ranting questions as I answered. Fluttershy woke up at some point, though I only noticed when the sneaky pony showed up with some tea. I thanked her quietly and both ponies excused themselves. I could hear them whispering in the other room. I also caught Rarity peek out of their little area a couple times to glance at me. I waved once, just to show her I knew. She quickly blushed and ducked back to their little hidey hole on the other side of the room. I tapped on the nail in my forearm. I was careful not to actually pluck it. I had learned that it would hurt. A lot. I looked at my pack and reached in, pulling out a book. I just thought of an author, and had to pull a book out of a small pile, but I got one. Monstrous Regiment. I flicked it open and began reading. I had read a few chapters before the ponies returned. I didn't really notice them more than some sort of ethereal grunt. I turned the page and chuckled. I saw Rarity look at me from the corner of my eye, and smiled wider. I could be a civilized girl. For short periods of time anyways. I dog eared a page, and put it beside the chair I had plopped down in. Rarity made some mild comment about needing time to work on a dress, and very politely kicked us out. Me and Fluttershy went to the per food store, in which I found that steak was considered pet food. I saw the gold bits being passed around and looked in my pack. I had a few septims from a long time ago, and held them up. "Excuse me sir, would these cover that meat on the wall?" He looked at them oddly, then at Fluttershy. "Is he, uhh, supposed to talk?" I facepalmed, and waited for Fluttershy to speak. "Yes, he's from very far off." She then moved some more of her own gold coins to him. "Just put that meat with my normal order please. He doesn't know much about Equestria yet." The pony nodded and passed her a piece of paper. Fluttershy walked out and I followed. I turned to her. "Have all these ponies thought I was your pet?" Fluttershy seemed to shrink. "Well, uhm, that might have been the whole point of you being with me. I mean, I now you're not as bad as someponies might think, but you are... uhh, really scary." I sighed. I was scary, I was a known killer. I patted Fluttershy. "It's fine, just a bit insulting." I looked out at town. "I think I'd like to go home now though." Fluttershy nodded. "That sounds nice. Uhm, if you wouldn't mind. Twilight said she'd want to see you too. I could call for her. If you're okay with it." I groaned. "Yeah, sure. Just... tell her to bring me a table. I need a damn table." Fluttershy nodded, and we continued our walk in silence. I enjoyed that. To many ponies tried to talk honestly. We returned to my barn, and I typed in the password to my tablet, before walking in. I flick of my wrist and the trip mine was off. I sat on my couch and picked up the rifle again. Fluttershy watched with interest as I looked it over. I pulled a pin, and talked. "AR-15 carbine. It's name is Joan." I pulled the barrel down, making the upper fold down. "It's chambered for 5.56 millimeter rounds. It can shoot-" I paused, having no clue about the fire rate. "A lot of rounds per minute." I slid the bolt out and put the rest of the rifle down on the hard wood beside me. "It's a tool, and I'm not scared of it." Fluttershy glanced at the rifle. "Why would you be scared of a tool?" I inspected the bolt, looking it for carbon build up. "Because it's the most dangerous thing I've ever worked with." I scraped my finger against a small bit of black build up on the extractor. "This rifle has been with me for a long time, and it has killed a lot of people." Fluttershy stayed quiet as I worked. I dug a cleaning kit from my bag. "A long time ago, someone very special to me taught me how to shoot. I was terrified, and really bad at. He would say everything about any gun he passed to me, and remind me it's a tool." I took a wire brush out and rubbed it against the whole assembly. Paying attention to any build up. I sighed. "And now I do it to myself. It helps me stay focused." I moved the rest of the rifle to my lap, and grabbed an oil rag from the kit and wiped it down. "And plus, all my favorite rifles are named Joan, it's a pretty name." Fluttershy nodded. Apparently seeing me clean was soothing enough for her to approach me a little bit without flinching. She looked at it. "Is it like that thing you did in my house?" I flinched at that. "Yeah, uh, sorry about that. This is basically a bigger, better, version of that." I hoisted the whole thing up, and eye'd down the barrel. "Plus this one is nicer, it's prettier." She didn't seem to get it, but I didn't for a long time. I pulled out a barrel brush and began to clean out the rifle. I ran it through a couple times and reassembled the whole ordeal. I wasn't giving it a full clean, but no tiny parts around without a table. I heard Fluttershy begin speaking very quietly. "Uhm, can I see it?" I looked at her for a moment. Then nodded. "No mouth holding. You can pick it up with your hooves if you can. Don't touch this." I pointed to the trigger. "And be careful, it's a very precise piece of equipment" Fluttershy looked at it as I leaned it against the couch. She walked up and hoisted it in the crook of her hoof. "It's heavier than I thought." I smiled and nodded. She looked it over and pointed at the lines on the barrel. "What are those?" I thought of my answer. "When I fight things I remember them. If they were really good, or had a really good reason, I'll mark what I used against them." I pointed to the white circle. "That was a mad god who tried to enslave the world." I pointed to the red one. "And that one was a madman, he wanted to burn down an altar to a dark evil that could have driven a whole nation mad." I shrugged. She paled a bit, and passed the rifle back. She then sprinted out the door. I chuckled, before looking around. I wanted to decorate this place, and with God as my witness I will. I looked at the bookcase and reached into my pack. I pulled out a small statue of a troll, and placed it on the top. "Perfect." And that was all I could really do. It was spartan, so I couldn't do much. I looked at the books, then the windowsill. I walked over and picked up my pocket watch. "Hey little buddy. Want a job?" The imp stretched out and looked at me nodding. "I need a translation job, if I pass a book your way can you try to get a rough English translation guide?" The imp flexed his biceps and smirked. I laughed. "Alright little buddy." I propped the pocket watch back up and grabbed a random book on the shelf and opened it to the middle. I placed it in front of the watch and moved back to the couch. I brought out Creepy. He unrolled in my hand and I pet him on the head. "Hey Creepy, you got a moment?" He clicked, which was either yes or no. Either way. "I moved to this place, can I trust you to be my alarm system?" He clicked again and scuttled outside. He then instantly ran back in clicking. I looked to him. "Is it another crazy unicorn?" He clicked once. "Is it purple?" He clicked twice. That was odd. I heard a knock at my door. I moved to the door and pulled it open. And a mint green uniform tried to charge in. I worried about the trip mine, but it was still thankfully off. She began staring at every corner of the room. "Is it true, did I really see a rare xenobiological creature. Is it actually living here?" She began looking at all the like, five things in the room. "This is so fascinating." She began staring at my blanket. I coughed. "Uh, maybe?" She brought a small notebook out of her saddlebags. "Oh my, she's much larger than I thought." She began writing while looking me over. "I wonder of she would let me look under her sleeves?" She tapped her muzzle with her quill. I looked at it in confusion. "I doubt it." She nodded. "Of course Ms. Voice in my head. I hope I can find a way to talk to her though. Her knowing Equestrian is unlikely. Maybe pictures?" I froze. I had seen many things. I had seen empires fall. I had seen worlds burn. I had not seen a small pony that was sure I couldn't speak. "Er, have you tried talking to her?" Lyra stomped. "Of course!" She walked up to me and spoke very slowly. "HELLO. I. AM. LYRA." I wiped the spit from my face. "Yes, you are. If you remember you told me while I was fixing your leg." I pointed to the bald patch on her leg, where there wasn't even a scar to show her former wound. Fancy Unicorns with their fancy bodies. She at least had the decency to look ashamed. "Yeah, I guess you did talk to me then, huh?" I nodded as she resumed staring at everything. "But this is amazing, I've read every myth on humans there is. All extremely contradictory of course. No myth ever seemed to answer any questions from an academic point of view." I sighed. "That's how it goes everywhere. Just don't to be a huge annoyance." I plopped down on the couch and reached in my bag, and reaching for my book. I pawed around before finding it missing. "Shit, it's still at Rarity's." I stared at my bag, frowning. "Well that ruins my plans." Lyra perked up from her notebook. "What plans were those? Are you gonna assault Ponyville? Or maybe your gonna break into the palace?" I sighed. "No, I was gonna read a book. I left it at Rarity's, so now I either have to find a new book or...." I looked at Creepy. "Hey Creepy, wanna job?" He ran up waving back and forth like a top. I knelt down and held out my hand, which he climbed on. I was about to tell him what to do, when Lyra jumped up. "Oh my gosh, what is he?" I glared at her, but it had no effect. I already missed being terrifying. I turned to Creepy. "Run to a carousel looking building and find a book in English. Bring it back, got it?" Creepy raised a leg in a silly little salute, the popped into a ball and rolled off. I turned to Lyra, who was waiting patiently. Or at least waiting quietly while fidgeting. "That's Creepy, he's a little robot that I use for basic jobs. Be careful around him, he's a bit of a coward." She began writing in her little notebook, apparently taking notes. I really needed something to do. I pulled my own notebook out of my bag, and a small box of pencils. "Okay Lyra. Sit still, and I may just answer a few questions." I looked her over and began trying to sketch her. "Also, don't touch the thing beside me. It's dangerous." Lyra sat down and stayed still. "So if you're a human I have so many questions. Like, what are humans like?" She began writing as I tried to make her basic body. It was difficult, mostly due to my own lack of practice. "Varied. Some a beacons of hope, some are evil beyond imagining. Most are just there, like a tree. They'll do what needs to be done, and live their lives." Lyra sat there and wrote for another moment. She then took another look at me. "What do humans eat?" I shrugged, and got her basic shape done. "Whatever. Personally I like chicken and greens, but humans can eat a lot of things if we're desperate." Lyra nodded. "You said chicken, is that the only meat, or can you eat even more?" Her head was nodding, making her mane bob. It was impossible to draw, so I focused on her tail. "Anything that isn't poisonous we can eat. We have preferences though. Some animals I'd never eat though. horse, dog, cat. That sort of thing." I pulled my eyes across her form. The muzzle seemed to stay still, so I focused on it next. Lyra seemed to have found her next distraction. "So what is your culture like?" I barked out a quick laugh. Which she then wrote down. "To many to count. I've seen hundreds that I can remember, and most of those I couldn't tell much about. Humanity's super fractured. Though, whenever a bigger threat shows up we close ranks and hold our own. Mostly." I'd done a respectable job of her I thought. I glanced at her mane, now flopped over one eye. Perfect. I began sketching that. "Don't move a muscle for a minute." She froze for a moment as I managed to finish her mane. I nodded. "Your good." She quirked her head at me. "Good at what?" I flipped the notebook over as I spoke. "Well if your taking notes I'm drawing. How's it look?" Lyra looked at it, and furiously wrote with magic while staring. "You can draw like that? I figured with your sword and stuff you were a guard. But you must be an artist or something." I shook my head. "I'm whatever keeps me alive. I'll admit by now I probably fight like a caged demon, but I don't only fight. I draw, I read, I even occasionally cook." I looked at my pack, it was barely big enough for my plate carriers and swords, but it had what I wanted right now. "Speaking of, it's dinner time. You got any carrots or something?" Lyra shook her head, and gasped as I began withdrawing a camp set from my bag, and a pot that barely fit in it. "How in the hay?" I smiled and waved my fingers. "Magic." I snapped and ignited my little campfire, before gesturing to Lyra. "Go grab about ten apples from the field, I'll find a way to pay Applejack back later." Lyra stared and debated whether to listen or not and ran off. I fished out some spices and the last of my fruits. I began mincing them, and throwing spices into the water. I liked to add spice first, then the food. I waited a moment, and a knock issued from my door. Sighing I got up, opened it, and slammed in the password. I walked in again without even checking the door. "Lyra, put the apples by the pot." No apples appeared by my pot. I looked up, at Twilight sparkle staring at me in curiosity, and an under current of fear. I shrugged it off and waved. "Oh, sorry Twilight Lyra came by, so I drafted her to help make dinner." Twilight walked in, with a table behind her. I clapped as she stared. "What do you mean, drafted her?" I quickly ran up and wrenched the table away, before setting it in front of the couch. "Told her to fetch me a few apples, I needed some for the stew. You're free to join us." I said, before dumping my minced fruit into the bowl. Another knock at the door, and I gestured to Twilight. While she handled that I began stirring my meal. I sipped at the broth. Acceptable, though not great. "Needs cinnamon." I poured in a touch, and tried again. Stew is awesome. I glanced as Lyra made her way inside. "Yo, need some apples. Stat." Apples were levitated, only to be brutally chopped by my knife. I dumped them in the broth and smiled. Lyra looked at it. "So is this authentic human food?" I stirred it a bit. "I guess. It's just a stew." I stirred it again, and took another sip. "Hmmm, maybe some more pepper?" I reached into my spice kit and gently spread some more pepper in. One more sip later and I nodded. "And now we wait." The ponies began quietly swapping notes. After a few minutes Twilight walked up. "Hey Draitha, Lyra said you sketched her?" I nodded, and gestured towards my notebook on the floor beside me. She picked it up and looked it over. "How long did it take to sketch this?" I shrugged, and checked over the stew. Almost done. "Probably six or seven minutes. I could only do it in pieces. Harp butt over there kept moving." Twilight looked it over again before nodding. I sat still for a moment before Twilight turned to Lyra. "Hey Lyra, could you run out to the library and grab the book on my mantle? Celestia asked me to have a few words with Draitha here." Lyra grumbled, but walked out. Her notebook went with her, but the quill was scratching the entire time. I looked at Twilight as I took another sip of the stew. "It's done. I'll grab a bowl for you." I reached into my bag and grabbed two bowls and two spoons. I used my ladle to pour the bowls, before putting both on the table, and sitting on the couch. Twilight looked at it. "Thank you. I don't want to do this, but I need to see your... your pack." My eyebrows charged up my head, and established a beachhead on my forehead. I tried to mount a defense, but they stayed. "My pack? Are you entirely sure what you're asking? You don't mean my bag?" She nodded, but there was hesitance. I shrugged, and stripped down to my bra. I waited a moment, before taking a sip of my stew. It was good, a nice simple stew. I looked at Twilight, who was staring in horror. "Would you like to meet them?" She nodded, but it was slow. I tapped a nail in my right forearm. A head popped up. A robot face appeared. It had a blocky cylinder like head. A large blue glow from the middle. His black metallic hand was in frame, and making a peace symbol. twilight stared. "Who was he?" I tapped the nail again. "Ethan, some intelligent robot I paired up with. He was a good guy. He saved my life, I saved his. In the end I watched him set himself to self destruct to destroy an enemy stronghold." That wasn't necessarily true, but close enough. I rubbed the nail. "He died, I left. Same is true for every nail." I tapped another nail, then another, then another. I lit up almost every nail. I had said a name with each one, but I left of Macready's. I didn't want to share. I grabbed my spoon and had another bite of soup. Twilight seemed stunned. "Why did you do it though?" I shrugged. "I move to much for a graveyard, and I need to keep my friends with me. Now they'll never leave. Besides, the pain helps keep me focused." Twilight bolted up. "Those things still hurt? Like, you don't have a painkiller or anything?" I shook my head. "No, I want to feel it. All of these people died for me, I bleed for them. Fair trade." Twilight shook her head. "But would they want you too?" I bit back my first response. Yelling wouldn't help anyone. "Who cares?" Twilight looked at me. "I care. It hurts, and that's not good." I poked at my stew, trying to ignore her. She just calmly stared at me. Finally I snapped. "I've heard it all before, so just drop it ok?" I could tell she didn't want to, but I saw her levitate up the spoon beside the other bowl. The rest of the meal passed in silence. I picked up both bowls when we were done, and put them on the corner of the table. "Where's Lyra?" I asked, while trying to find some form of conversation. I hated being alone. Twilight seemed to grab onto the conversation like a drowning man with a raft. "I told Pinkie to distract her until you were done talking to Princess Celestia." I thought of the pink ball of hyper and sweets. "Is that a war crime or something? It seems cruel to tell her to focus on any one person, er pony." I rubbed the back of my head, but Twilight giggled. "Maybe." She replied. "but I needed you alone for a minute. Besides, Celestia will be here soon." I nodded and set the small camp stove to low heat. The stew would keep for a while. I dragged myself up, feeling happy and full. "Well, while we wait on the boring princess I'm going to watch a movie." I could see Twilight try to ignore my jab at Celestia. It was like watching a balloon resist being inflated. I smiled as I dug around for a minute in my bag. I pulled out a large tablet, maybe twelve inches. I began turning it on as Twilight looked over my shoulder. I managed to get signed on when I heard a click behind me. I turned to see Creepy with my book on his head. "Hey, good work buddy." I picked up the book and put it on the table. "Back to your job Creepy, stay safe" He waved a leg and scuttled back outside. Twilight stared at the book as I switched my tablet to a video player and leaned it against the book. I turned on some red vs blue, and began watching. "I hate this show." I said, while leaning back. I smiled as it played. Twilight however, was annoyed. "What are they saying?" I frowned, but responded. "The translator won't work on this, they're speaking my language." Twilight began taking notes as they talked. I laughed at a few moments, which made Twilight flinch, but I appreciated that she stayed. I liked having people around. After a few episodes I paused it. "Hey, do you want to hear some of our music?" She nodded shyly. I closed the show and looked at the playlist on this tablet, then stared at Twilight. I figured rock wasn't her deal, or pop music. Librarian, I had known a librarian, but she listened to rock and grunge. I shrugged and pulled up country as a choice that maybe she wouldn't hate. "Ever heard of Johnny Cash?" She shook her head and I thumbed on 'God's gonna cut you down'. I started tapping my foot, and sang along. Twilight began taking notes I hummed with the instruments and sang with the lyrics. At the end of it I smiled at Twilight. "I hate that song." Twilight finally looked at me again. "Why do you keep saying that? You've said it about everything." I giggled. "Running joke. Remember Francis?" She nodded, staring at the bare skin where the nail lay. i spoke over her distraction. "Well he hated everything, after that I just started saying that about everything. It makes me smile." Twilight stared at my tablet as I tapped it again, and Powerwolf blared out. She flinched back. I laughed as she made a frustrated noise. "You are an impossible creature." She pointed at me while talking "Everytime I start thinkig I get closer to understanding you you change. It's like you're a million people in one. " I shrugged. "Maybe I am, you never know." I wiggled my eyebrows while trying to look serious. I know that it doesn't work, and Twilight let out a little giggle. I laughed too. "Here, in response to my annoying personality let's see if my buddy has translated your language yet." I gestured to my pocket watch, and raised an eyebrow. "After all, it's not everyday you get to decode a new language."
Level Five - Low PointOkay, Father forgive my sins. I may not have told Twilight exactly what my little buddy was. Her reaction to a small imp shoved into a pocket watch was... loud. It took us about two minutes to calm her down. The imp tried to help, but couldn't stop laughing. I think he liked being a scary demon for a little bit and not just my countdown-slash-translator. I stared as Twilight righted herself. "You have a demon...." I nodded. "And you store it in a pocket watch to act as a timer." Another nod, I'm a master of conversation. "And you talk to it." I finally picked up the pocket watch and looked at it. "She just called you an it little buddy." He huffed and blew out his cheeks. i turned him towards Twilight and he stuck out his tongue. I was so proud of him. Twilight made a face at him while I turned him back towards me. "So do you have something yet?" He nodded and pulled a piece of paper from a corner I couldn't see. He began writing a basic translation guide for me, and I copied it. I started talking to Twilight at the same time. "Though, I suppose I should call him something. He's kind of a new addition to my team." I started thinking of different names as Twilight walked up. "Sorry, I guess. It's just that you seem to have a literal demon as a clock." She pointed at him. "Plus he can just casually read any language. That's hardly normal." I shrugged. "Yeah, but this imp doesn't really read in the same way as mortals. I don't get it, but it's useful." I looked the imp in his eyes. "How's Crowley sound?" The imp nodded vehemently. I held Crowley up to Twilight. "Say hi to Crowley Twilight." She stared at Crowley for a minute, before stammering. "H-hello Crowley." She looked disturbed by the imp in the watch, but he was a literal demon, but that wasn't my problem. I looked at my notes. I couldn't write a properly formatted letter, but I could probably stumble through anything non-technical. As long as it wasn't technical, or used proper grammar. yeah this is gonna be rough. I looked at the bookshelf, and decoded the titles. "Seriously, all the books are on apples?" Twilight stared. "Wait, your translation worked?" She rushed over and looked at the notes I had jotted down. She stared at them, before her scroll popped into existence. "This isn't the greatest translation, but I bet with this I could get a working guide." I swear her scroll was gonna set fire with how fast her quill was scratching across the paper. We sat for a minute, chilling out. I'd missed being able to calmly hang out. We sat without talking for a while. Twilight scratching away notes while I sat watching. It was nice to have a quiet moment with someone. I smiled listening to her mutter about language and different syntax. I decided to do the only kind thing, and distract her. "So, anybody you trying to fuck?" She turned an impressive shade of read. I didn't know it COULD show through fur that well. She sputtered. "I-We- Why?" She deflated as her quill and scroll fell to the floor. I smiled. "Because you're adorable when you blush." Twilight looked like she was about to comment, but a knock on the door cut her off. I stood slowly and stretched. Before walking to the door. I glanced at the purple goddess in front of me. It was a minor surprise. I waved Luna in while looking behind her. "Hello there Luna, I was expecting your sister." I looked around for my guard, who was cowering behind Luna staring at me. Little brass coward. Luna snorted as she walked in. "Tia hast had an unexpected issue thrust upon her. We are here to perform her so called trust exercise in her stead." She moved to Twilight and waved with a hoof. "Hello there Twilight. We are most pleased to see you." Twilight was still struggling to keep her blush under control, and barely managed a "Got to go Princess!" Before bolting out of my open door. I chuckled as she left. I turned to face Luna who was raising an eyebrow at Twilight's antics. The gesture looked very imperious on her. "Yeah." I said, moving to the couch. "She's a cute girl, flustered easily though." Luna nodded. "Indeed. Now, we have foregone court tonight. We doubt anypony is coming tonight. They rarely do." Se sat on the floor beside the couch. "So, shall you select a memory, or should we suggest an idea." I shrugged. "You're more fun than your sister. I'll take requests." I leaned back and Luna fell into silence. I started singing under my breath. I was halfway through a rousing muttering of Panic In The Pentagram before Luna seemed to reach a decision. She stood up and spoke. "We would like to see a memory that scared you. One that you think may have changed you irrecoverably." I blew out a whistle. "You don't pull any punches, do you Princess." Luna shook her head. "Nay, we have experience in that field, and it would allow us the best view into you. If you would like another memory, we will allow it easily." I grumped back. "You'll allow whatever I decide, I don't take orders." I flopped my hands across my chest and chewed my lip. I sighed before speaking. "Fine, but additional rules with it. Nobody besides Celestia hears it, and I reserve the right to be silent for a bit afterwards. If you wanna stay until I'll talk then fine." I stood up, and sat back down in front of Luna. She nodded, and her midnight glow enveloped my face. *** "Marks, you damn fool, what did you do?" I looked up at the vampire standing beside me. I was patching up a hole in the train drivers leg. It would have been easier if the train hadn't been moving. Marks chuckled, while reloading his revolver. "I thought that was obvious White, I shot him." I yelled at him while twisting a tourniquet on the drivers leg. "Well why? He was gonna stop the train." I moved a bandage from my bag onto the wound. Marks spun the revolver shut, and reholstered it. "Well, there was a change of plans." I looked at the patched leg, before jumping up and in Marks face. "And what change is that?" Marks calmly took one step back. Then kicked the brakes lever off it's holder and nodded at it. "We're gonna crash this whole train to kill the senator, then loot the crash." I stared. I had been running with this gang for a few months. While they killed, it was always a sort of Robin Hood thing, no useless murder. "BUT THERE'S INNOCENT PEOPLE HERE!" Marks nodded. "But I doubt anyone will cry for the left over snacks we killed." I threw a punch that knocked Marks onto his ass. "No, we are stopping this..." I stared at the broken brakes. "What have you done Marks." He rubbed his cheek, and frowned for the first time since I met him. "Sorry White, but this is what Ghoulie said to do. I tried to tell him to cut you out, that you wouldn't want any part of it." He got up and stood calmly. "But he said you needed to see what an extreme response was." I stared at him. I liked Marks, which was weird for a vampire. He made sure to keep his 'snacks' alive, and didn't infect people. He also was very attractive, which helped keep me from shooting him. Eye candy is a fair defense from bullet wounds in my world. It was a failing defense. I resisted the urge to shoot him, and then looked at the tracks. A turn was coming up, and the train would hop the tracks soon. "get me off this thing, then I'll need to talk to ghoulie." Marks wrapped me in a hug, which was nice. Then he jumped, with me in his arms. He landed smoothly and whispered in my ear. "Keep your eyes close White, you don't need to see this." I had seen worse, but I listened. Eyes shut, I heard the clang of a train jumping track, then the screams, then I heard the loud crashes. They continued for what felt like years. I was numb, letting the sounds roll into me like waves. After a lifetime they stopped, and Marks released me. "Okay White, go back home. I'll take care of this." I could tell a kindness when I saw it, and nodded while turning away. I refused to look behind me as I followed the tracks. I made it back to our home within an hour. It wasn't special, just a prettied up cave really, but it was home. Emphasis on was, I had already decided to pack up and leave tonight. I wasn't sure how long I was stuck here, but I couldn't live another day with these murderers. I made it to my room and drew a curtain over the alcove. I turned to face my stuff. I sighed as Ghoulie was sitting in my chair. I sighed and moved to sit on my bed. "Not now boss, I need a minute." Ghoulie let out a chuckle, which through his scarred vocal chords sounded more like a growl. "I would imagine so. I could hear the train crash from here." I glared at him. "Yeah, I'm sure everyone else on that train was laughing at your little plan too." Ghoulie kept his face neutral, which was easy since he didn't have much of a face. "It was a cruel plan, but a necessary one. The train was full of people like the senator, and those that weren't were an acceptable loss. You know what we are fighting against." I stood up and stabbed a finger towards him, barely keeping my off hand steady. "We're fighting murderers and villains, not becoming them. There's a damn line boss, and we just crossed it." Ghoulie stayed infuriatingly calm. "We did not just cross it, because if that is the line we crossed it long before you joined." I stared at him while the anger grew inside me. I counted to myself for a minute, then two. I finally got myself under control before gesturing to the door. "Out Ghoulie, I'm grabbing my stuff and leaving." Ghoulie shook his head. "I'm sorry to say you aren't." I rested my hand on my revolver, but felt a cold touch of steel kiss my neck. Ghoulie gestured to me. "Put her in the hole for five days, give her enough water for two. She'll be more amiable afterwards." I felt rough hands grab me, pulling me into a standing position, and then pushing me towards my curtain. I also felt a hand take my revolver out of it's holster on my thigh. I was shoved out of the cave, where it appeared everyone had left. They might not have been there on my way in, but it was the first time I had actually seen the cave empty. I was moved maybe a mile away from the cave, before being walked up to a deep hole. There was a large wood panel beside it, and it was maybe eight feet deep. I stared at it, before a voice behind me spoke. "Get in it." I stared at the hole, and considered my options. I could just try to fight off my captors, but I'd probably get shot. Also Ghoulie said I would get enough water to stay alive, so living beat out possible living. I jumped in, and the wood panel was shut behind me, leaving me in darkness. I spent the first bit of time in the hole singing. I couldn't remember words to songs that well, but I made them up. I sang and sang until my voice gave out. I also spent the time searching my pockets and bag for any light source, but found none. I could live with the darkness, but the cramped space was bad. I could barely sit down, and I bumped my shoulders or elbows on the walls every time I moved. I also looked for a way to tell time, but the only thing I had was a pocket watch, which did not light up. I thought of taking a pull from the canteen they left, but I needed to make the water last. I started scratching at the stone wall to pass the time. I stopped scratching when I felt blood drip from my palm. I decided whatever time had passed meant I could take a drink, so I drank a single large sip of water. I stared at the darkness for an unknown amount of time. This sucked. Like, a lot. I moved to scratch my head, bumping the wall again. "Damn." Time passed, but I couldn't tell how much. My two days of water were out, and I'd fallen asleep several times. I hadn't bothered counting. I had hit the walls every time I moved, and was beginning to get twitchy about it. I thought I'd made the water last, but I was delirious towards the end. At least, I'm pretty sure a smurf didn't talk to me, so I was probably a bit crazy then. I fell asleep again, I felt bad cutting off the polite knock I heard though. I woke up and heard more knocking from the wall in front of me. I debated my options. I couldn't open a door, so the obvious answer was to knock back. Well it wasn't but I was hardly thinking right. I knocked back, and tried to back away as part of the wall collapsed. I hit the wall, and scrambled on it, trying to find purchase to get farther away from the collapsing wall. I found none, and hyperventilated as a man lit a small match from the new hole. I relaxed as he lit a cigarette, and then brought out a small deck of cards. He began shuffling cards. I looked him over. He had gaunt features under a leather hat. A small hole was visible the forehead, as if it had been shot off his head, but seeing as he was shuffling cards I assumed it hadn't. We didn't speak for a few moments, with only the soft sounds of moving cards filling the hole. He broke the silence by speaking in a coarse voice. "Well then, do you have time for a quick game?" I tried to shrug, then flinched as I hit the wall. "I guess." He passed me a card, which I held up to the smoke and saw it was a six of clubs. He took another drag, lighting up the hole a little more. So, will you play your hand, or fold?" I flipped the card in my hand, and felt the familiar weight of a revolver where a card used to be. I could barely see anything specific about it, but it was a tool. One I could use to escape. "I'll play." The man nodded, and disappeared. I stared at the spot he was before waving at it. "Bye-bye." I held the pistol up and fired it at the hole where he stood. I know it was a horrible idea, since a bullet might have ricocheted into me, but it didn't even fire a round. Instead pure force exited the barrel, burrowing out a rough trench that let glorious moonlight fly into my hole. I dived through the hole, crawling to the surface. I took a deep breath as my head broke the surface. I moved out of the hole and looked around. Goody goody for me there was a river nearby, which I ran towards. After reaching it I dunked my head in and drank from the river. I drank until I threw up, then drank some more. After filling myself I fell onto my ass. I knew I needed food next, but that was a problem for later.I looked at the sky for the moon, which I found near the edge of the sky. After a quick internal argument I decided it was setting and decided to wait until dawn. Since I was out, it was time for some good old fashioned revenge. Dawn had broken, and I was proven wrong in my guess. The group of people walking towards the hole showed that my five days was up. They stopped briefly at my tunneled escape route before I heard a voice on the wind. "I told you damn fools it was a bad idea. Ghoulie said he'd let her leave." I recognized that voice. That was Marks. He spoke again. "That girls got the devils fire in her, she'll be burning to even the score now." The other voices were quieter, and I stayed even lower on the river bank, trying to keep myself hidden in the early morning light. The voices debated longer, until they split up to look in different areas. One began walking towards the river, leaving me to duck into the small bank and try to hear them approach. It didn't take long. I heard soft footsteps on the gravel, and an unfamiliar voice. "This is bullshit, she'd be half starved, and ain't nobody gonna take us in that state" I glanced up from my prone position and saw the toe of a boot. I heard a match strike and smirked. I reached up and pulled the leg down into the small ditch with me. Shock kept him quiet on the fall, my hand kept him quiet after. He began trying to struggle, but I forced an arm around his neck. I began applying pressure. "Nap or snap asshole, your choice." The struggles slowed as he realized his predicament. I removed my hand as his body began to relax, the pulled hard back. I felt his neck pop out of joint, as he spasmed. I rolled him off me. I probably should have felt bad about snapping his neck after saying he'd live. But I didn't. I peeked out of my ditch. The flat desert land offered no cover, and I checked my gear. Which was only the revolver. I held the revolver in my hands. It was a scarred and ugly thing, but it was apparently enough of a beast to burrow through stone. In a surprising moment of lucid thought I realized I didn't know the range. I holstered it and looked at the body beside me. I began searching him for anything, and found a veritable gold mine. Sure there was a nice lever action and a few spare rounds, but that wasn't the greatest treasure. Two apples were in his bag, which I stared at reverently. I devoured them like a starving hyena. I had to fight to keep them down, but I wasn't going to lose my first meal in days. The important work done, I inspected the rifle. No clue on the branding, but it had a seven round tube, and maybe two spare reloads. I popped the lever, finding a round in the chamber. I clapped it shut and peeked again. A few of the group had noticed their missing man, and were scanning the blank desert skyline. I heard a rough voice. "Damn fool must have fallen in the river, someone go grab him, or get his stuff if he drowned." I bared my teeth. That coarse, rocky voice could only belong to one person. Ghoulie. I waited until I heard footsteps again, this time much softer. I recognized the foot falls. That was Marks when he was trying to be heard. He paused a few feet from the edge, and spoke. "White, I know your here. I can smell you." I cursed, damn vampires. "Fuck. Yeah, and you have three seconds before I turn you into hamburger." I heard a few steps as Marks empty hands came out from the edge of the ditch. Now I couldn't shoot him if I wanted, he basically surrendered. "Now, you're gonna shout out your gonna have to swim after his dumb ass and lay down beside me." He did, and hid himself similarly. There was an awkward moment of silence as he stared at me. "So, you're probably gonna kill them, huh?" I glared at him. "No shit, and I'm only debating killing you because your cute." I paused a moment. "And you tried to get me off the mission. Though the fact you were on it means I might still kill you." Marks nodded. "Look, I can't make an argument against that if your mad, so I guess I'll just have to hope. I will throw out that since you're not in the hole Ghoulie said we're supposed to kill you on sight." I looked at him. "You're inching towards staying alive." I thought for a moment. "Though since you're a vampire you could probably just kill me first." Marks shrugged. "Maybe, but you fight like Old Scratch himself. I would like to avoid that fight." I nodded. I was also thinking of ways to kill him if I decided to. Not now of course, it would definitely make the others come over to me. Marks voice interrupted me. "See, now that face says your already thinking of how to kill me. That's what I'm trying to avoid." I laughed. Before sitting up slightly and cradling the rifle. "Making me laugh is a good step. So here's your road to redemption, help me kill all the goons. If you do that and leave Ghoulie to me I'll consider leaving you alive much more seriously. Marks nodded, and reached for his rifle. I nodded, and he mirrored my position. He peeked out. "Counting Ghoulie we got four more folks with us. Their not really your type of people. I think the only one you really know is Jack." I smiled. I hated Jack. Marks continued. "So, are we shooting now, or you want me to call them over?" I peeked over the ditch. One was semi-close. I peeked out and managed to pop a round through his head. I heard shouts before the body even hit the dirt. I ducked back low and smiled at Marks. "I don't think they'll listen." Marks groaned and peeked over the ditch. He heard a shout for his name and kept quiet. But he brought his rifle to bear and fired a round. I heard more shouts following the rifles report, and Marks ducked back down. He flashed me a grin. "I think they know where we are." I worked the lever of my rifle. "Damn." I said nonchalantly. "I was hoping for the element of surprise." I peeked again, and a few rounds dusted the ground around me. I quickly hit the deck and glared at the ridge. Then I softened. "You are a good ridge, you stop bullets." I thought of the situation. There had been five folks, now there were two. Ghoulie and one other. I looked over the ground before remembering my bag. I pulled out my pocket watch. The silver body shined mirror-bright. Exacty what I wanted. I peeked it over the ridge and saw an approaching figure. I couldn't hit him without catching a bullet, but I could stop him. I held the rifle one-handed above the ditch and shot a round in his direction. He ducked low, and I took the opportunity to peek. As I did a boot impacted my head, knocking me on my back. It also knocked me into Marks, throwing us both off our game. The rifle clattered the floor. I saw Jacks ugly smiling mug, raising a pistol slowly. The cocky bastard opened his mouth to gloat. I didn't let him. I rolled to the side Drawing my new revolver. I fired it once. A blast of force erupted, throwing my hands skyward with the recoil. Jacks was knocked back, and red blood bloomed across my vision. The body flew off into the distance, and an evil grin split my face. "That's why you don't mess with White Justice you fuckin' prick!" Marks stared from his prone position. I spun the revolver on one finger, before standing up and looking at the desert. I spotted Ghoulie standing dumbstruck at the ditch. I began walking towards him and his pistol dropped from his hand. I walked up, and smelled ammonia. I smiled. "Hey Ghoulie.... What was that whole thing about not being allowed to leave again?" He stuttered and tried to back away, falling on his ass instantly. I raised the pistol to him. "I'm White Justice damnit. That name ain't a name. Pure wild justice is who I am, and you gotta answer for a lot of innocent lives." His head shook back and forth. "We had to, it was the only way. They hunted folks like me, folks like all of us. They even gave us that damn name." I nodded, and spoke with fake care. "I know, they called you Dead Man's Hand. A gang of dead men, ones that fought for justice against people hunting you for things you can't control." I thumbed back the hammer. "But if it makes you feel better, I'm hunting you because you're a murderous bastard." I pulled the trigger, burying Ghoulie six feet deep into the dirt. Six feet deep... I thought it over in my head, before looking over the pistol. "Six deep, that's your name." The pistol didn't seem to care, so it fit. A voice spoke up. "So, how are you?" Marks voice caused me to jump back. I lowered the pistol slightly, looking him over. He smiled and stretched out his arms a little. "What, still gonna kill me?" I don't think he honestly expected the shot that blew off his legs, but it didn't matter. I looked him over cooly. I was justice, and he had killed innocents. I looked him over on the ground as he squirmed. "No, but I won't let you live either." I felt the pull on my legs. It was time for me to leave. As Marks began cursing me from the ground I saw a man in the distance. He held up his deck of cards and smiled at me. The last thing I saw as I dropped was him mouthing a single sentence. Play your hand. I felt the pull of a jump, and saw the white hole beneath me. I nodded to Marks, and fell from the world. Author's Note Quick note, the bag she has here isn't the infinite one she has in Equestria. Also comments are still loved you beautiful people.
Level Six - Spooked HorseI awoke on my couch, with my bag on my chest. I was still wearing my clothes, the Taurus was still on my chest. I smiled softly, and spoke. "You still there Luna?" I heard a soft affirmative hum from my bookshelf. I had to chastise myself that this wasn't my house. I kept my eyes closed as I woke up. I heard Luna speak. "We know thou said that thou would need a moment before questions, so we will hold them for a moment." I made a grunt that could be construed as a thank you with some stretching, and opened my bag blindly, grabbing for a pack of smokes. I went through two before opening my eyes. It was night time, so I wasn't out for an exceptionally long time. I glanced and saw Luna trying to communicate with Crowley. I watched for a moment before shaking my head and lighting a third smoke. "Okay, shoot. What do you want to know?" Luna looked to me, and I have to say I looked a sight. The smoke wafting from my cigarette shrouded my face, and I knew myself to know I looked ready to kill. My sword had been resting by the couch, but I knocked it into my hand with a combat boot and looked it over. She seemed to be displeased with my look, but not disgusted. More sad. She cleared her throat before speaking. "White Justice?" That was a good ice breaker. I let out a tired laugh. "Yeah. It was the name of some dead vigilante I stumbled upon. I took over for her while I was stuck there. I kinda played it as a hero of justice the whole time. It was... nice" I forced the last word out. It wasn't a lie, at least discounting the last few days. Luna nodded and thought for a moment. "What was the weapon thou got from the man?" I smiled. Nice, non-personal questions. Luna was best princess. "It's a Gun. Capital G." I put my hand in the bag and thought. Bringing out Six Deep required concentration, like it had to be called from very far away. I eventually got it, and pulled it out. "This is one of the 52 Guns. Weapons of unbelievable power, but also attract a ton of trouble. They tend to have supernatural abilities. After experimenting I found that Six Deep sends out a six foot long spear of force. It will blow apart anything in it's path, or burrow six feet into the ground. I only really figured all that out later though. At the time I thought it was just a weird cursed item." I shrugged and spun it around on one finger, before wiping it off. "It can also be turned into a card." I spun it across my palm, and as I regripped the gun I felt it shift into the six of spades card. Luna looked shocked at it, before shaking it off and nodding. "That seems to be a strange artifact indeed." She paused, scrunching up her face. "If you would be fine, I think I should move to the unpleasant questions now." It was a declaration, not a question. I sighed and took a long drag. "Yeah, let's start the rain on my parade." Luna smiled at me. "I will try my hardest to make this painless. I think we should start with the obvious. Did you need to kill all of them?" I knew the question was coming, but I still flinched at it. I spoke after a moment, and slowly. "I would do it again." I paused. "But that's not what you meant." I took another drag, playing with my fingers. "I think that Marks might not have deserved the brutality, but I couldn't just kill him. He might have drank Ghoulie's blood, managed to regrow his legs, and lived a full unlife. Honestly I don't care. He murdered a lot of people, and that's not what White would have wanted." Luna seemed confused by this, her muzzle pursing slightly. "Surely you mean that is not what you wanted?" I shrugged. "Well when I travel I normally try to adopt the personality of who I find. I did it first to blend in, but as it went on I just found it easier. White Justice did her thing because she felt that there wasn't any justice, I just kept the torch for a while." Luna stared at me for a while. I fidgeted under it for a few seconds, then remembered she could probably turn me into all manner of unsavory creatures, which made me fidget more. I waited under her glare until she sighed. "How long have you done that?" I shrugged again. "Dunno, it was kind of the normal thing I did since I started jumping, and God knows how long that was." Luna's hoof touched the bridge of her muzzle. "Very well. I think that that is all the questions required. Truth be told Celestia also sent me because she decided you would talk more to me than her. Something about Mr. Friendly." I smiled at that. "Yeah, I blew her up a little bit. I think she took offense." Luna stared at me, then stared at something behind the couch. I felt my blood run cold as I heard Celestia's voice behind me. "In his defense, I ignored his warnings." So there I was, trapped in a barn between two goddesses. I took quick stock of my options before Luna's head had time to turn to me. I rolled of the couch, and flicked my wrist, disabling the trip mine on the window. I rolled out of it, gaining a few cuts from broken glass along the way. I hit the dirt and rolled across the floor, feeling pain as my nails stabbed deeper into my skin. I got up without slowing, and ran. After ten minutes and hitting the outskirts of Ponyville I noticed my plan had been stupid. I had run like a spooked horse from what amounted to an extra house guest. Then again, when the house guest could nuke you it was a far better plan. Plus she hadn't been invited in. I glanced at my sleeves and could see the small wet spots where blood was seeping, as well as a few scratches from glass. I thought over my options before looking at the town. I remembered that Fluttershy's house hadn't been to far from here, I could walk there, get her to look me over, and hope the stupid princesses wouldn't look there. I made my way quietly to Fluttershy's cottage under the cover of night. Several ponies appeared to be out, but none seemed particularly attentive. I managed to get to the cottage within an hour. I stood at the door a moment before knocking. A small rabbit opened the door looking very grumpy. He looked at me with crossed arms. I divined he was asking what I was here for, and pointed towards the several holes in me. He looked at them, looked at me, then shook his head once. Then paused, and nodded his head a few times before shutting the door. I was left feeling oddly disturbed. But I had also been stopped by a bunny bodyguard, so I swallowed the feeling and waited some more. It wasn't a long wait. I heard Fluttershy scream a loud "WHAT!?!?" Only a few moments after the bunny left, before the door was wrenched open and Fluttershy stared at me, then at my rapidly moistening sleeves. She stared hard before I spoke. "So neighbor, could I bother you for a cup of sugar?" The joke did not fly. In fact I believe I heard it explode as I was pushed by Fluttershy into her living room. I can not put words to what happened next, but I know whatever happened ended with me having to roll up sleeves for Fluttershy to look over my wounds while my plate carrier was suddenly leaned against the door. Fluttershy looked over my nails as they oozed blood. "Well, the cuts aren't bad and the-" She shuddered once. "previous injuries are going to be fine. I could get a mage in here to heal it in the morning, but for now I can only bandage them." I shook my head. "Nah, if they're all good I can heal it. Honestly I just needed a safe place to hide from your oh so benevolent rulers." I said the last bit with venom while I placed my left hand on right arm. I pushed my energy into it, and the soft green glow of the ring covered my arm. The gashes healed, and the bloody nails seemed less fresh. I moved the ring to another hand, and repeated the process on my opposite arm. I ended up without any open wounds, and a Fluttershy with a towel dabbing blood off my arms. She continued quietly for a moment, until my arms were mostly blood free. She moved to a small corner of the room and dropped the towel in a small basket. She sat down in front of me and looked me in the eyes. "So, if you don't mind I mean, what happened with the princess?" I groaned. Then looked at Fluttershy's waiting expression, then I groaned again. "I ain't getting out of this huh?" Fluttershy smiled and said nothing. I decided the best course of action was to just tell her everything. "Well Luna had come to check me tonight, and it was going fine. Then when I came to from the stupid spell we had a wonderful question and answer session. Then Celestia popped out of nowhere, I freaked out and jumped out the window. Rolled on all my nails, then ran to town out of fear. Then I was bleeding so I went here for a check up." Fluttershy nodded and moved closer, tapping my shoulder with a hoof. "It's okay. Honestly Celestia should have known better, you don't seem to like surprises." I nodded, stretching out. "Well, they wrecked any sense of security in my safe house, mind if I hang here for a while?" Fluttershy nodded. "Stay as long as you like, I'm going to go back to sleep, though if you need anything feel free to wake me." I watched her go up the small stairwell to her bedroom, before getting up myself and re-donning my plate carrier. I pulled the revolver and rested it in my hand, before resting. What I was doing couldn't be called sleep, but if you squinted hard it might fit nap. Time passed faster, and I got got something that could be mistaken in the wrong light, for sleep. I noticed the sun rising much quicker than it should as I rested, and Fluttershy come down and go outside much faster than she ever moved. I kept resting as she came back in and sang in the kitchen. I was only roused when Twilight busted in the room. Of course by roused I mean pointing the revolver at her with a grunt, which caused her to go very still and quiet. I blinked the sleep out of my eyes before lowering the pistol. "Oh, Hi Mark." I said it in my best Tommy Wiseu voice. Twilight stared at me, before disregarding and ignoring my meme. "You know, Princess Celestia was very annoyed at you running out on her." I snorted. "Well she shouldn't break into my safe house, now I have to find a new place." Twilight rolled her eyes. "Of course, because when a goddess can break in whats the point." I could taste the sarcasm, but every comedy show needed a straight man. "Obviously, if she can get in without my permission it's not safe. I need to make a new safe house." Twilight ran past without another word. She made it to the kitchen and tapped Fluttershy on the back. "Fluttershy, we have a problem." Fluttershy looked up and made an o shape with her mouth. They talked quietly for a moment, before an agreement was made. Fluttershy walked up, and smiled at me. "Draitha, we have a teensy tiny dragon problem. So please don't be to scared. The princess said this one is a job for the guards. Apparently it's very... proud." I thought this over, before shaking my head. "Nah, I gotta earn my tiny barn somehow. Tell me where and send word to the princess. I'll get rid of it." Twilight spoke next, with a shocked air about her. "You can't be serious." I shrugged. "Oh yeah, it's boring without a good fight around here, besides I love helping." Twilight thought it over before nodding. "We'll send guards after you, just don't pick a fight." I got directions to a small mountain nearby, and made my way out immediately. I began digging in my bag while walking. I thought of the few dragons I had faced. I could go old school and bring out a bow and arrow, but I had already used guns, so I was gonna keep them. I pulled out a disassembled Joan. I snapped her together and stopped, leaning the rifle against my leg. I pulled a sling out of the bag and hooked it to Joan, wrapping the rifle around myself. I put the pack back on my back, before starting my hike again. I followed the forest edge, keeping my eye on the mountain range. I looked up at the smallest mountain. There was a small plume of smoke coming from the middle, with an obvious trail leading to it. I looked up to it. "So I'm going to the misty mountain? The dragon better damn well be named Smaug." I heard wing beats behind me as I began ascending the path, and let them approach. I heard them beat a few times before a boyish voice came from behind me. "And what are you doing?" I shrugged and kicked a loose rock off the path. "Removing a dragon. Not the first time." I saw Rainbow dash float ahead of me. "You're gonna talk a dragon off a mountain alone?" I laughed and showed some teeth. "Honestly, if I manage to talk him down I will be seriously disappointed." I brought my bag to my front and grabbed one of my few fully loaded mags out. I only kept a small supply of mags loaded, mostly for magazines that fit multiple guns. I locked it in place before racking the slide once. Rainbow watched with clinical detachment. We walked in silence for a moment before she spoke. "I don't trust you." I laughed. "Then your the smartest God damned pony here." I brought the revolver out, and checked the cylinder. Rainbow seemed confused by this and flew silently again. I walked up the path to the mountain and spoke to her. "Alright, we've reached the end of the pony line, please stay out of the mouth of the cave until the dragon either leaves or dies." I heard a huge laugh emanate from the cave. "It has been a long time since a mortal spoke in such a way towards me. Approach, so I may see my next meal." I smiled wide and waved at Rainbow, before walking out to the cave to see an enormous blood-red dragon staring at me. Like this thing probably could rival a full office building uncurled. I looked at him and held up a finger. He nodded as if allowing me a favor As I quickly reached into my pack and withdrew an M320 grenade launcher. I attached it to Joan before withdrawing a matching grenade and loading it. I smiled warmly. "Sorry, I'm not gonna start with the small stuff if negotiations break down." Another laugh from the dragon. "You are brave ape, and your tools are strange. I believe I like you." I waved it off. "Yeah but apparently your way to close to Ponyville. Now normally as long as you weren't swooping down to attack them I wouldn't care, but Twilight said your little roost was a danger." I gestured to the rifle. "So me and Joan here are going to try to peacefully remove you for five seconds. Then if that fails, which honestly I hope it does, I will kill you, and see if you taste good." I heard a gasp from Rainbow, but I just raised my rifle to hip level, keeping a finger on the grenades trigger. A large tuft of smoke raised from the nose of the dragon, before he spoke. "You are worthy of respect welp. I am Baldrich, son of Gromich. Who are you?" I bobbed my head back and forth. Then spoke in my best Alexander Anderson voice. "Fine, I'll give you the courtesy. I am Draitha, slayer of gods." I topped it off with a quick potshot at the cave roof, which perked the dragons attention. He stared at me for a bit longer. "Do you truly think that can best me?" I shook my head. "Not in the slightest." I tapped the tube under the barrel. "That's what this is for." The dragon stared with much more interest than before. "You are a strange creature." "If it makes you feel better, I've killed a lot bigger than you." The dragon seemed to think on that a moment. "And I have killed bigger than you, but we do not know the others skill." I grinned. "I've killed a dragon before, though you're a bit bigger. But I'm pretty sure it'd be a close fight either way." The dragon nodded and stood on all fours, his back scraping the wall that was at least twenty feet tall. "You have amused me Draitha, slayer of gods. As payment I shall go to my main roost for now. Know this though, if you climb up to there, there will be reckoning." I deflated. "Awwww, I was hoping for some insane fire and flying action. But I'd probably get yelled at for it, so I guess I shouldn't complain. Have a wonderful day Baldrich son of Gromich." He nodded towards me and stomped out, the mountain shaking with every step. He took off, and made an honestly quiet majestic hover before turning to me. "Answer an old wyrm this. What does that tube do?" I smiled wide. "Oh, I'll show you." I turned around and launched the grenade into the cave. The large explosion blowing back my hair as I began to madly laugh. I loved pyrotechnics. The dragon continued his hover, with minor gale force winds battering my body. "I almost regret leaving. A duel with you would be most interesting. But my kind are scarce enough already. Goodbye." With that he left, and I lowered Joan. I grumbled and broke down Joan on the cave mouth before packing her up. I pulled out a smoke and lit it. Taking a drag I spoke. "How come I go looking for fights here and end up talking it out?" Rainbow flew in front of my vision. "ARE YOU BUCKING INSANE?" I nodded. "Probably. It depends, you a psychologist?" "Uh, no. I'm a weather captain." "So how can you make a determination on my sanity? Unless clouds can have psychological issues." I rose a hand to my chin. "Which I never thought about. Can clouds get depressed?" Rainbow stared at me. "What? No way, clouds can't get depressed." She sat down beside me. "But if they could I don't think they'd tell me to deal with it." I nodded. "Yeah, I'm bad at talking things out too, I tend to shoot my problems. Or stab them. Or burn them." Rainbow laughed. "Yeah, I can tell. I mean, what kinda block head picks a fight with one of the dragon elders?" I rapped a fist on my skull. "This kind of block head Rainbow." I took a quick drag before looking at the dark cave behind me. "You think he left any loot for us?" Rainbow gestured towards the cave. "Well go check, I'm not going into a dragons cave." I looked back at the cave. The enclosed, stonewalled cave. I felt sweat begin to bead on my brow. "You know, I don't think he would have left anything anyways." Rainbow looked at me sideways. "You sure? You don't look to hot." I was spared any questions by a huge chariot swooping down in front of the cave beside me. It was white, with beautiful gold highlights. I saw at least twenty ponies in full armor, who looked almost exactly the same charge out. They formed up in a block formation as a beast of a Unicorn stepped out. He was as tall as the princesses, and more buff than a pony had any right to be. I leaned in towards Rainbow Dash. "Hey Rainbow, did a ton of pony clones and a bodybuilder just come out of that carriage?" Rainbow didn't get to answer as the buff pony stared at us and loudly stage whispered. "Civilians, move back twenty feet. You are hiking in a hostile zone." I smiled, and took a few steps out of the cave mouth. The pony nodded, and stayed at the edge of the cave mouth. "Mighty wyrm. I am Captain Dive Bomb of the Solar Guard. If it pleases you, I would like to negotiate your movement from the area." I raised a finger at Dive Bomb. "Uh, sir I think-" The pony glared. "Silence creature. I am doing a vital Equestrian duty. Simply enjoy the show, as I show you the dragon negotiation tactics passed down the generations of the bomb family." With that he flexed, showing an impressive amount of pony muscle. He then spoke again. "Dragon, if you do not respond I will show you the power of the great, Dragon slaying Bombs." I decided to let him finish that, and sat down to finish my smoke break. Rainbow had her eyes glued to his flank, so I doubt she minded. Dive Bomb moved to the cave mouth. "Now listen here you overgr-" He stared at the empty cave. "That isn't right." I laughed, causing the unicorn to turn to me. "What do you find so funny craeture, now the dragon could be anywhere." I stood up and walked to him. "Yeah, I got him out. Threatened to kill and eat him, then he laughed and decided I was chill enough that he'd just leave." The pony glare at me, and I took a knee to glare at him. We locked eyes. We stared each other down, searching the other for anything, and that's when the soul gaze happened. See, I had never actually done a soul gaze. I had normally remembered to avoid it, but I guess I forgot in all the hubub. It was something human wizards could do. It basically sucked you and whoever you were locking eyes with into each others souls for a quick tour. It was supposedly different every time. This time was a literal room tour. I found myself in a soldier's barracks. It was bare bones. A bed, a desk, and a closet. I walked towards the desk and opened the drawer. It was filled with pictures, and dates. I saw ponies, griffons, and a few deer. The backs held names, and brief biographies. Each desk drawer held more pictures. All the ponies that had died near him. Then I opened the closet. Inside were stacks of photos, and a pair of blades. These photos lacked dates, and showed more ponies. At the top was a foal. The biography was blank, but there was a name. Dive Bomb Jr. The ponies, the blades. They were the ones he fought for. Finally I moved to the book on the bed. In it was simply feelings. I couldn't describe it. It was like feeling immense emotions for every second of every day. Coming from a book. I was snapped back into reality still staring down the captain. I saw a twinkle in his eyes. We moved at the same time. His left fore hoof flew out, with my right rushing in the same instant. They collided on a massive high five, which we traded grips with. He brought a hoof around my neck and gestured to his guards. "Men, lets give this traveler a mug of ale back at the barracks. We have found a new friend." He said this while dragging me back to his carriage, much to the horror of his men. I followed him and waved at Rainbow Dash. "It appears I've been kidnapped. Give the girls my love, I'll make my way back." I looked at the guards who were making way more room for me than needed. I shot a sheepish smile Rainbow's way. "Eventually."
Level Seven - Barracks and ChillI found out a few things once the carriage took off. One, was that the clones weren't clones. After a few moments Dive Bombs took off his helmet, and his color shifted from white, to a dull grey. The carriage was small. In fact I probably wouldn't have gotten in if I couldn't net a seat near the middle window. He looked at me and smiled. "Well Traveler, what name do you go by today?" "Shit." I said, trying to get comfortable on a pony sized seat. "So, can we cover what happened in private?" "Only once you give me a name." He said this with a smile, so apparently my soul wasn't exactly horrifying. I nodded. Then asked a question. "Do you already know it?" The captain smiled wider. "But of course, though the list was rather long, so I shouldn't assume which one your using. Though if you haven't decided I think Ang-" I cut him off. "No." He stared at me, and smirked. I looked back. "I'm Draitha." He smiled wider. "Of course, that one was second on the list after all. Well then, we shall not talk of what we saw until after our post mission party." At that several of the ponies cheered, several more looked at me uneasily. One looked between me and the captain calmly. He was a tan earth pony, with an electric blue mane. He cleared his throat, before raising a hoof. "Hey sir, is it going to be okay taking this thing back with us?" The captain seemed surprised. "How could I have been so negligent. You are an excellent guard private Straight. Get Clear to send a message we're bringing a guest. How could I have forgotten to send word back to command?" The private nodded towards a unicorn beside him. "I more meant sir, that he used the word kidnapped when you grabbed him. Also he may be a fugitive, as we have never seen a creature like him before." The captain smiled. "Ah, putting all that watch training you had to good use eh? No, SHE will be perfectly well behaved, as well as we treat her right. She'd never hurt an innocent. I've never looked at a pony as completely protective as she is." I liked that he put emphasis on she. I didn't want to be called a dude. I glanced at his word choice. I was rather protective, but I didn't think I deserved it as my intro. I shrugged it off and stuck a hand out to the pony. "Draitha, hi, sorry. You were talking about me. I'm right here, you know, able to answer your questions." I hated when people talked like I wasn't there. Straight looked at me, then to his captain. "Sir, that thing is an unknown. Personally I find it to be totally untrustworthy, and it should be reported to the princess." I blew out a raspberry. "If you do send for Luna. I think Celestia is a bit tiffed at me at the moment. Actually I think she's been mad since I blew her up." I paused as the various guards stared at me in horror, and as Bombs smile grew wider. "What, I left a note at my house, she ignored it, then she blew up a little bit. She hasn't been so happy with me since though." The unicorn that Straight nodded to earlier looked horrified. Her horn glowed much brighter for a moment before fading, and an expression of false ease settled. "Of course." She had a voice betraying her gender. Made it easy. "Why, I know my house explodes if people don't follow notes." I smiled. "Really? That's weird." Her expression faltered. "Only my door does that. Keeps people from barging in uninvited." I stood up and stretched. I knew how some loyal soldiers would respond to this. The carriage was quiet for a moment, before a light blue pony raised it's hand. "Uh, Ms. Draitha. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that means that princess Celestia tried to get into your home, and then you blew her up." I nodded. "That is an acceptable short hand of events. Yes." I could feel the anger behind me. Gods I could swim in it. I heard a pony behind me scream. "GET HER!!" And I heard hooves fly behind me. I didn't have time to do anything fancy. The first pair of hooves circled my waist, trying to restrain me. I threw an elbow, knocking my shoulder into a horn. I felt a minor amount of sweat bead on my brow as I rolled forward. I felt the hooves release me as I made it to the back of carriage. The wall behind me was bare, and I could see three ponies staring me down. I glanced and saw that most of the ponies had remained seated, including the good captain. I shot a glare at him before the brawl resumed. Now I don't have any official combat training really. But I am a many year veteran of brawls in both bars and life or death situations. The first pony was an earth pony, who I side stepped as he charged. The Pegasus beside him however manged a clean tackle to my gut. However the plate carrier kept me on my feet. I ripped the helmet from his head and threw it at the unicorn, who had been doing some magic nonsense with her horn. It clanged of her forehead, ceasing magic for the moment. I heard Dive Bomb cheer. I looked down at the pegasus and planted the skull ring on my right hand on his forehead. "Rooty Tootie!" The energy in the ring shot out, sending the poor pegasus out the back door. The other two brawlers froze. I held up a finger. "Gimme a bit." I walked to the rear of the carriage, and saw the pegasus flying to catch up. I waved at him. "Glad you didn't die." The pony stared at me as he caught up. I heard a few hoof beats behind me. I waited for a split second, letting the pegasus close with me. "Sorry friend." I reached out and grabbed a hoof, pulling him into the carriage. I didn't stop, and spun around, knocking the pegasus into the Earth pony who had been moving behind me. I dropped the Pegasus and let them both fall in a tangled heap before looking at the unicorn, who now looked mildly terrified. "You wanna go one on one?" The unicorn fainted. I pumped my fist. "Boo-yah, finally my terrifying presence does something good." I sat back down beside the captain and fished out a smoke, lighting it with a snap. I turned to him. "Please tell me those were the new guys, that unicorn could have just nudged me out of the carriage. Honestly I was already trying to think of all the little toys I might have to survive the trip down." The captain smiled. "But of course. All my other ponies know that we are only sent on the most acceptable of assignments. They know not to let a guest work them up so easily." He said it, and everything now that I think about it, in a boisterous manner. Like he was in a constant shouting match with himself. I settled down again, before nodding to Straight. "Kinda wish you were in there munchkin. You seemed like the smart one." His face didn't move a muscle. He also didn't respond, which I found rather rude. It wasn't a big deal, because I could feel the carriage begin to drop. I held my seat with my smoke free hand, waiting for the big drop as we hit the ground. It never came, as the carriage came to a smooth stop. I glanced around and saw the ponies getting up. I waited until most had filed out before I got up. Dive Bomb tapped my back and I took the hint, moving up and out of the carriage. I found myself in a large courtyard. Guards were running back and forth looking like they all had things to do. Dive's group had begun funneling into a door near the carriage, which I followed easily enough. I made it through the door and saw a clean entertainment room. There was a small bar in the corner, which Straight walked behind and flipped an open sign on. There were a few tables, and a few board games shoved onto a bookshelf. The three ponies who had tried to start a fight were in a corner, muttering darkly. I gave them an over exuberant wave, which they did not return. I heard Dive behind me. "I won't do anything to them, they were technically doing there jobs y'know." I smiled and moved to a table, sitting down and tossing the stub of my finished smoke into my bag. "Wouldn't have it any other way chief. So, we gonna talk about what happened?" He smiled wide. "Of course my friend. It is not everyday you see into another's soul." I faltered. "So you know what happened?" "Not the exact science behind it, but a unicorn has a feeling for these things. I suppose you now have more insight into me then I do." I nodded and waved at Straight, making a motion with my hand for a drink. He filled up a mug and brought it to me. I took it and gestured to the seat by the Dive. "So Straight, let's play a game. It's called tell me which princess the unicorn called so I know whether to run or chill out." The private stared at me before shrugging. "Well Celestia is currently in court, so she thought that Luna might respond faster. Either way they will be here to restrain you soon." I nodded. "Well as long as you called Luna it's fine. She's the fun one. I blew her up a little to, but we had a tea party afterwards so it's all good." Private Straight seemed to catalog all this and nodded. "So I take that to mean you already know the both princesses?" I nodded while taking a sip of my drink. I stared at it afterwards. It was hard cider. And damn good hard cider too. I was so distracted that I missed the first part of Straights next sentence. "-ld mean that they are both familiar with you too. I fear calling her may have been a bit hasty now." I tilted the mug towards him as a guard wandered behind the door and played with something under the counter. Music began blaring through the room, and a few ponies moved tables to make a dance floor. I watched as half of the group began dancing with one another, cider cups in hand. I smiled at it, and shook my head. "Hey Dive, hold my drink?" He nodded and continued watching. He spoke in an annoyed tone. "How I wish I could join you, however a captain cannot dance with his ponies. Might cause troubles that would dishonor my family name." I left on that note, and moved to the dance floor. A few ponies left at that, but to my surprise a few ponies began staring. Apparently human dancing was something to see. They were going to be disappointed. I knew exactly one dance, and it was the carlton. Which I busted out with gleeful abandon. I heard some giggles as I flailed about like an idiot, and after the song a few ponies walked up. Most kinda stared at me, but one was brave enough to comment. "Please tell me that's not how most of your kind dance." I smiled. "Nope, I can't dance to save my life." The brave one walked up. A sea green unicorn with a darker green mane. "Yeah, well if you wanna dance again come see me for lessons, I'm sure I could teach you better than that." "Of course, and you are?" "Silver Light, Platoon inter-species relations expert." I raised an eyebrow. "A platoon level inter-species job? Wouldn't that be more of a Battalion position?" "Nah. Well, yes, but Dive here gets all the weird missions, so we have to have a varied bunch." I nodded and a smaller swarm of ponies began chanting. "In the pit! In the Pit!" I glanced at Silver Light. "So what are they doing?" "Well, whenever somepony joins up they aren't considered in the group until after the first mission." I didn't resist as the small group lifted me on there shoulders. Silver light followed as they walked to the rear of the building. "And then, when they get back, we have a party like always. Finally they get thrown in the pit, and when they walk out, they're considered one of us." My brow furrowed. We walked out a door into a small yard. I was facing the wrong way to look. I stared at Silver Light. "Wait, how big is the pit?" I never got an answer in the form of getting tossed in. It was dark inside, and I heard a thump as the door closed. It was more of a locked cave than a pit, but it was still dark and cramped. I tried to breathe, but it was hard. I pulled my revolver out of it's holster. "I'm not starving, I'm not dying. I just have to push through this. Find a weak point." I began tapping on the wall, trying to feel out a structural weakness. I couldn't find an obvious one. I took another deep breathe, and felt my heartbeat surge. I took a dip in my magic bag and pulled out a flashlight. My hands shook the whole while, and dropped both my bag and the light. I felt both land by my feet. I heard a loud noise outside, and centered my aim on where I thought the door was. I heard voices shouting outside. I kept talking to myself, trying not to let my thoughts go wild. "They aren't talking about how to kill me, they aren't deciding whether to starve me out or make this quick. They will let me out soon, and if it's to taunt me I will shoot them, then I will leave." I stared at the darkness some more, and then switched to a one handed grip on my gun. It shook like mad, but I managed to grab my bag in my free hand. I hauled it up on my shoulder and kept the gun pointed at the door. "I am going to get out of here. I am not going to rain death upon this whole damn city. I am no-" The door opened a crack, letting in sweet blessed light. I charged it, knocking whoever opened it on their ass. The gun followed my sight as I scanned the crowd. Lots of sad faces followed. A few faces had looked amused when I first broke out, and morphed into fear as they saw my face. The captain was at the end of my scan, looking extremely angry, as well as Princess Luna, who looked... looked.... Well she looked impassive. She spoke to me. Very calmly, but not quietly. "Draitha, remain calm. These ponies are not Ghoulie, they did not mean to do that." I moved the pistol towards her, but stopped myself. I heard my voice crack as I spoke. "Bullshit! Last hole I went in was torture, they put me back! I swear they're doing something!" Luna took a step towards me, her voice still calm. "They meant to welcome thou. It is their way, they would not have starved thou." One clever pony decided to speak then. "Well I might've." The pistol flew to the voice. Some unlucky guard still in full armor. I pulled back the hammer. "See Luna, that one admitted it. I ain't going through that shit again. They ain't putting me in for another week." I heard a few voices mutter about that. I wasn't sure if it was fear at me or the thought of a week in a hole, but they were agitated. Luna spoke again. "And thou shall not go back in. Lets be smart for a momen-" She was cut off by Dive Bombs shouting at me. "Draitha, if you don't calm down right now you'd do something that would break all of Justin's rules." I moved the pistol fully to his head, and paused. I knew he was right. "Damn you." I lowered the gun. "Damn you and that low blow." I holstered my pistol. I moved beside Luna. "Remember those cookies?" She nodded. "I need one." A soft smile graced her face. "But of course. We think thou need a moment. If thou wouldst allow us, we will take you to a more private venue." I nodded at her. "Yeah, less creepy ponies. I need to clear my head." I felt her magic overtake me, blocking light and sound for a brief moment. I reached for my pistol on reflex, but by the time my arm moved It was light again. I took a deep breath, and flopped onto the floor. "Damnit Luna. I swear I almost killed them." Which was true. She sat beside my prone form. "Yes, but you did not. I think that the captain gleaned part of your issue. I admit I had waylaid him when they grabbed you, once we discovered the issue he was as mad as I was." I raised a hand and waved it in lazy circles. "We reached an... understanding earlier. He gets me." Luna giggled. "I thought that safe to assume. Who is this Justin he mentioned?" My hand dropped, and I was silent. Luna took the cue, and didn't talk until the door opened. The revolver was up and pointed before the first hoof fell in the doorway. My sights centered on a white pony with brunette hair in the doorway. She cleared her throat once and spoke primly to Luna. "Princess Luna, those cookies you messaged for will be ready soon." She looked to me. "And Celestia asked for a formal report on what exactly happened in her special use squad barracks not to long ago." "Tell her there was a rather large cultural misunderstanding. I shall have an official report written during night court." The pony nodded. "Of course Princess. Is there anything else you require?" I couldn't see Luna from keeping the new pony in my sights, but she seemed quieter in the next sentence. "Yes, send for captain Dive Bombs and three guards of his choosing here. I feel he will want to speak to my guest about the incident." I flinched. I wasn't ready for that. But Luna had a point. If I was right about those pictures, I had threatened his ponies, and that's the whole reason he does what he does. I'd need to deal with the fallout. I stayed on the floor for a minute more before I spoke. "Alright Luna, So you want to know about Jacob?" I felt her tense beside me, but she didn't speak. "Well, I'm not up to telling you about him. Let's just say he had a lot of little rules for if something went wrong. I follow them." She relaxed. "Fair enough, may I hear them?" I nodded, and moved to a sitting position so I could see her. "Rule one, if they're innocent, don't hurt them. If everythings gone to hell you shouldn't make it worse. Rule two, assume you're the only one that follows rule one. All the other rules are less moral, more like survival advice. Always eat if you can, never stress little things, that sorta thing." I cracked my neck once, trying to calm down. Luna looked me over and tried to look me in the eyes. I averted her gaze as she spoke. "He sounds like a wise man." I scoffed. "Nah, he was crazy, planned for all sorts of shit he knew would never happen. I tried to calm him down a few times, but I think he was honestly a little insane. But he was a good guy. He had one more rule, but It's not relevant right now." I heard the voice of Dive Bomb behind me. "On the contrary, I think I quiet enjoyed the Harkness rule is very amusing. I got to see them all in there own little plaque." I flinched. "Damn it Dive, I don't go around spouting all my epiphanies about you." He looked heartbroken. "But of course, and the way I let my men throw you in that pit, unforgivable." he fell to his knees. "I saw the pain it would bring you, but I was foalish. I thought they wouldn't accept you so easily. I knew they loved a pony who could do the hard jobs but..." I swear there were tears in his eyes as he looked down. This guy was a major ham. Of course I knew that already. Luna coughed. "I feel as if I am missing something." I heard Silver Light speak, and saw her, Straight, and another pony enter. "We all are princess. Captain's been yelling at us since you left, something about besmirching his family honor." I smiled at her, then at him. "No honor besmirchment here Dive. They didn't know. And for what it's worth, I only kinda want to kill them now." Silver looked at me. "Kinda?" I shrugged. "Take what you can get." Luna looked at me. "No, I require an explanation about all of this. How are you and Dive so well acquainted?" I sighed. "Alright princess. You know I can use magic, right?" She nodded. "Well when I found that out, I found an ability that human wizards have. If we make eye contact for a little bit, then both people get thrown into the other's soul. You see each other with no blinders. Evil, good, or anything in between is shown for what it is." I leaned back. "And it shows a few things outright, but it also gives you... feelings. Like knowing stuff about them innately. It can change, but the stuff you see. The stuff you see is the most important." Luna nodded, and Dive bomb rose. He talked first. "And your soul, what a marvelous things. It was everything, I saw regrets, loves, all intermingled into a wondrous portrait. Why, a lesser Stallion might have wept." He said this while weeping. By God this stallion never went down from eleven. I stared at him, while Luna looked at me with new eyes. "You can see into a ponies soul at whim?" I had to think on it, drudging up memories on Sensei's lesson. "Yes, but it's dangerous. You never know what you'll get. That and, you can never forget it. Me and Dive will remember this snapshot of our souls until we die. We'll remember it just as vividly as the moment it happened. So if we got a look at bad souls, then it would stick. A cavalcade of horror constantly playing in your head." Luna looked at Dive Bomb. "Thou willst give us a full briefing of the contents of Draitha's soul by end of court tonight." Normally I would have shot that down. I would have if anybody but Dive Bombs was there. Now I was one of his photo's though. "Absolutely not princess. Nopony should get access to another's soul in anything as crass as a report. Why, I feel as if you insult Ms. Draitha by the very idea." I was. "Honestly yeah. A soul's too personal to share with people. I've never done it before, last time was an accident." Luna shrank back. "Of course, I apologize. It would just solve so many unknowns to know exactly who we are dealing with, meaning no offense Draitha." I took offense, but there was no use in showing it. I let out an easy smile. "Course Luna, you're looking out for yours. I'd do the same." Straight, who had been watching this whole time spoke up. "As informative as this was, I believe that Corporal Vice had something to say, and he looks scared enough as is." I glanced at the third pony in line. Some Pegasus. white fur, black mane. Couldn't see the cutie mark through all the mail, but I didn't need to. He nodded. "Yeah, uh. I wanted to apologize for my comment after you got out of the pit." I nodded. "Water under the bridge man. But you all deserve an explanation. Let me tell you a story of a gang I used to run with." Luna sat beside me as I told the tale of Ghoulie, and all the details of the fun trip in the hole. She cut me off at the end, leaving the unknown fate of Marks even more unknown. I finished up, leaving the room in silence for a while. I thought they would run screaming, well Vice looked ready to, but the rest seemed somber. I sat there for a minute, waiting for a reaction. Silver was the first to move. She trotted up to me, before wrapping me in a huge hug. "I am so sorry Draitha." I returned it, and soon the other ponies moved in. Luna first, then Dive, and finally Straight. I smiled as I sat there. It was nice to get a hug every now and again.
Level Eight - Dream OnIt was nice, being hugged I mean. We sat in a very fluffy group hug for a long time, for at least an hour. I'm not gonna say I cried, but I definitely cried. Luna broke off first, and the rest gently followed. I hadn't noticed Vice get in on the hug, but he pulled off a little corner I hadn't seen. Ponies made excuses. Dive Bomb knew me, and left to spread the story to his unit as soon as the hug was over. Granted he did so with a small speech and tears in his eyes, but I didn't begrudge him for it. Vice scampered off after him. Straight stayed a moment longer, but soon left to clean his armor off and enjoy a few vacation days he had due. Silent stayed however, with me and Luna. I looked around the room. It was a night themed room. Dark blues and purples. I liked it. I looked over at Luna with an arched eyebrow. "Weren't cookies promised on our trip here?" She let out a laugh. "Of course, thi-, I mean, your cookies are on the table. They came during the moment, so I guessed that you'd wait." I got up and grabbed a cookie. "You're a doll Luna." I took a bite, and smiled at the memories "Y'know, I think I could fall for your baker." Silent smiled at me. "So it's that easy huh? Just bribe you with sweets and get all your love?" I shrugged. "Either that, or at least an easy lay." Luna coughed, and Silver laughed. Silver trotted over to me and grabbed a cookie with her magic. I hated levitation. It was cheating. Anybody who claims that I was simply jealous is peaking pure lies and slander. "Well, at least you have good taste in cookies. I love Oatmeal raisin." I smiled at her. "Good, someone should. I hate them." I took another big bite. "personally, I wouldn't mind never tasting one again, but it's good for the soul." Silver looked at me funny. "You are an enigma Ms. Draitha." "Normally, but I always make sense in my office hours." Luna smirked. "And when are those." I spread my arms wide. "You see an office in that barn? Oh, by the way, I'm moving." Luna's mouth opened and closed a few times. "Where to? Why?" I shrugged. "I live in safe houses. Your loving sister wrecked my safe house safety. I'll need to crash somewhere safer. I'll find my own digs somewhere private." Luna stared. Silver also stared, but didn't let that stop her from taking another bite of cookie. She swallowed and started talking. "Well, I for one understand. I mean, if a living goddess can break in, what's the point?" I pointed both arms at her. "See, she gets it. If I live somewhere where a goddess can break in, then any Saturday morning cartoon villain can get in." Luna slapped a hoof on her face. "And Draitha, what if I let her in?" "Then I am both annoyed and slightly betrayed by your bad judgement in not asking me first. I mean, Fluttershy had to check out all my wounds from my great escape." "You were wounded? I thought that roll would have disturbed your prior injuries." I was glad that Luna had the sense not to mention my collection of nails. Silver piped in. "Prior injuries, just how messed up are you?" I nodded at Luna for the deception. "In a word? Very." I was careful not to show off like she was baiting me to and smiled. "I'm sure you would be too if you'd seen the shit I had." Silver sighed. "You really aren't the type to go into detail, are you?" Luna cut me off. "She is not, no. If it makes you feel better, she is just as tight lipped with me. She's even worse around Celestia." I shrugged. "She blew up Mr Friendly. Also she has some sort of phobia of knocking. I feel completely justified in my lack of cooperation." Silver stopped chewing. "Wait, you weren't messing with us when you said that whole blowing up Celestia thing?" I held up my hands. "Only a little. Honestly when your as strong as her my little explosive is just a hello." Luna flinched as I said that, but kept quiet. I put that info away for later. "But yeah, if you try to break into any of my safe houses they always blow you up." Silver stared at me. "Why in Equess would you blow up ponies trying to get into your house? I started digging around in my bag. "Because It's saved my life to many times to stop now." I thought of a bottled water and pulled it out. "Plus you never know when some curious jerk will try to steal your stuff, I've found knowledge that unexpected guests turn into paste keeps out loiterers." It also made very large cleaning bills. But I doubted the ponies cared about that. Silver slowly stopped chewing. "Meaning no offense Draitha, but you're terrifying." I smiled, showing teeth to the small pony. "Of course. It's better to be feared than loved. At least with fear you expect the sudden but inevitable betrayal." Luna thumped me on the back of the head. "Draitha, cease spreading fear in our subjects. 'Tis most rude." I rubbed the back of my head "Fine mom. I'll go find some puppy's to kick for my daily requirement of fear and horror." I saw both ponies glare at me. I raised my hands in surrender. "Jokes. Jokes. I'd never kick any dog. They're all best boys." The pony glare lessened after a moment, and Silver sidled up. "So, now that we've established the rules on proper dog relations. What's your plan on a place to stay?" I took a sip of water. "No clue, I could probably crash in the woods in makeshift camps. Constant movement is a good compromise for an improper safe house." Luna chewed her lip for a moment. "We are truly sorry about letting Celestia into your home. Is there any way we can convince you to accept a compromise?" I mulled that over for a bit. I wouldn't trust any house they built, but if I watched them build it then I'd be more than okay. I nodded. "If you help me build a home I'll stay in it. As long as people remember to knock, because you can bet I'm doubling down on all my defense." Luna nodded. "I believe I could spin that, if Dive Bombs gives you a proper recommendation. If that happens I could get a team to Ponyville and place a house near the Everfree, assuming you can keep yourself... contained." I smiled. "Luna, I am both offended and shocked that you would even consider that I couldn't play nice." "You blew up my sister. Despite your rampant paranoia, I feel caution is necessary." I smiled. "Well, I'll keep my defenses non-lethal. Mostly." Luna looked to Silver, and an evil smile graced her lips. "No, I think I have a better compromise. If we built you a house, how would you feel about a Royal Guard as an Equestrian Escort?" I chocked on a bite of cookie. "Say what now? You want me to have a house guest?" Luna nodded. I gaped at her for a moment. "So let me repeat this plan to you. You want the highly dangerous, unknown creature to room with one of your guards?" Luna nodded. "Yes, plus it will make it much easier to keep you from blowing up our sister again if we have a unicorn to tell you when she is coming over." I sighed. "You know what? Fine, but I expect a measure of privacy. As in whoever you assign isn't allowed in my room, that sort of thing." Luna nodded. "Of course, once I get the guard reassigned they will meet you at your new home. once it is built." She glanced outside. "Looking at the time I feel as if you will need a place to stay tonight. If you would accept a room in the palace, we would be most grateful." I struggled over that, but I didn't really know where I was in relation to the barn, or even the woods by Ponyville. I nodded. "Aight, let's do it." Luna smiled wide. "Verily, we shall commandeer a room for you now!" She then happily trotted to a wall, before casually melting into shadow. Yeah, she was still terrifying. Anything that can melt into walls is way stronger than me. I stretched out and looked outside. Sure enough the sun was dipping below the horizon. I found a large chair and sat down, looking over to Silver Light. "So, what are you still doing here? The rest of your group seemed to run off once I calmed down." Silver shrugged. "Mostly curiosity. My squad doesn't need me much, so I figure since we'll probably run into you again I should learn all I can. Plus You seem like you need someone who doesn't bludgeon you with questions." I smiled at her. "Heaven knows that's true. Either way though I'm getting tired. How long do you figure until Luna shows back up?" Silver shrugged, and looked outside. The moon was slowly peaking out behind a castle wall. Silver gestured to it. "She'll probably be by once she's dealt with all the stuff that follows raising the moon." I sighed and moved my bag in front of me. "Well, if we have a second I have an idea." I pulled out one of my entertainment tablets and keyed it on. I softly cursed as I showed a low battery icon. "Shit." Silver looked at me. "What, is your glass thing broken?" I shook my head. "Nah, it's low on power. I think I have a spare bank in here. I have to start getting out all my solar chargers soon though." I dug around and pulled out a battery bank. It was shaped like Boba Fett, so I knew it screamed quality like all cheap Chinese goods. I took the cord that was tied around Boba's neck like a noose and plugged it in. "So, you won't understand anything coming from here, so music or shows?" She stared at me like I was crazy. "You mean that can play music, or show you plays? But it's so small." I nodded. "Welcome to the closest things most humans have to magic. We smack rocks so much they can think, then link them with more rocks. I have no idea how it works, but it's all very scientific." I opened up the music folder. "We'll start with something simple." I thumbed up Amazing Grace. Letting sweet southern gospel wash over me. Silver listened to it for a moment, and stayed quiet as it played. I hummed along, trying to remember the version. I tried to look at it in the music player. I smirked as I noticed the author was down as 'That one weird sandwich guy.' The song dialed down I sang with the last line. "Was lost, but now, I'm free." I smiled at the memory before I remembered. "Elvis, that it. This is the Elvis version." Silver stared at me again. "What language was that?" I shrugged. I could almost forget English didn't exist here. "Mine, it's what I'm speaking too, but I have a spell going that translates it for me." Silver looked at me a second longer before looking at the tablet. "It's so harsh, but all those voices together sounded nice. But what was it about, it sounded sad." I smiled. "It kinda is, but it's also happy. It's religious. I'm not sure how it works since you ponies have your goddesses on speed dial, but where I come from there aren't any gods. At least not that you can actually talk to. So people who believe have ways they talk to their gods. That song is from my religion, long ago." I played it again. What? It felt nice listening to the king sing. "It's about God's grace, saving you even if your completely unworthy. It talks about how it can make you see what you once thought was only a dream. But it's sad, showing that you are deeply flawed, and acknowledge it." Silver paused. "That sounds simple. Do you still believe?" I shrugged. "I've seen gods, I've killed gods. Who knows if the big one I worshiped is out there. At this point it's moot." I switched the song partway through. I thumbed up Raining men, mostly because it was funny. "Now that we have discussed religion enough for the week, let's play a game." Silver cocked her head as I reached into my pack and pulled out a deck of tarot cards. "These are the Emperors Tarot, you use them to play a game from another world, called tarot. They're not very creative." She giggled as I shuffled the cards Technically they were supposed to be used to read the future, but some time with the inquisition taught me how to use them to play card games. Mostly something akin to poker, which I had chips for. We played a few hands, but she was hardly a master. She had obvious tells, with smiles and frowns telling me how to play her like a fiddle. I remembered the guardsman I played with who wiped the floor with me every round. He did the same, but his expression had nothing to do with what cards he got. I frowned at the thought, and she was baited into increasing her bet. I showed her my hand, with the Inquisitor and Emperor. She growled. "Urgh, you're just to good at this game." I smiled. "Years of practice, plus half the game is hiding your emotions. You're easier to read than a children's book." She grumbled as a knock came from the door. She shouted for them to come in, which led to me putting a hand on my pistol. Luna walked in, and noticed my hand before I could withdraw it. She gave a slight cough. "Well, I have managed to get you a Minotaur room we keep for ambassadors, so if you'll follow me I'll lead the way." I got up and Silver seemed to be considering what to do. Luna spoke to her. "Ms. Sliver, we require you to stay here for a moment. We have an issue to discuss between you and Captain Dive Bombs once Draitha is situated." She nodded and sat back down. I scooped up the cards and the tablet. I kept the cards in my left hand while dumping the tablet in my bag. I shouldered the bag and followed Luna. We wound through corridors in silence as Luna led me through a maze of tapestries and stained glass windows. If I had felt more at ease I would have thought them beautiful. Currently I was annoyed because I couldn't see where I'd land If I jumped out. I was led to a lone room at the end of a hallway. Luna gestured to it. "The minotaurs share you love of privacy, and I have told the guards to not patrol this area. Though I would appreciate if you would allow a force of two guards from Captain Bombs company to guard your room." I shrugged. "Make it Silver and the scaredy-cat. I think his name was Vice. Or any of the ponies that jumped me. Honestly I just want a pony who has a healthy fear of me." Luna quirked an eyebrow at me, but nodded. "Of course. I shall have them post at the door within two hours. I would recommend going to sleep. It may be helpful after your day." I nodded and walked in. The room was filled with what looked like mountain portraits. With the positioning and frames they looked like windows, and the walls were craggy and grey. Well, I had found a mountain species then. I looked and saw the whole room was open, with a large bed in the corner. I sat on it and sighed. I didn't want to armor down, but I needed real sleep. I pulled Yasumori off of my back. I laid it on the bed and pulled off the plate carrier. I stripped down and threw on some sleep clothes. Which was honestly yoga pants and a T shirt. I needed to be able to move even if I was trying to feel safe. I pulled out a small orb with reflective glass over it, and put it by the door. It would make Hell's own racket if the door opened. I moved to my bag and pulled a piece of paper and pen out. I wrote a small note for the guards and slipped it under the door. The sensor beeped loudly as I did. I tapped the switch to reset it and laid down. Sleep would do me good. *** The classroom was empty, and I smiled as I picked over the drawings of today's art lesson. I saw Isaac's little take on Hieroglyohics. I was fairly certain that ancient Egyptians didn't have computer's, but he was only seven. I marked it and pulled out the next one. It was of a large man, not in the proper style. I would have to dock points. I didn't like it, because the piece looked just like Titus. I paused staring. How did I know Titus? I shook my head. "I should know better." I pulled my sleeve up seeing a nail clearly in my forearm. I waved a hand, making the school room fade into nothing. I was in an empty arena. I looked it over. It was in Roman style. I looked around, and couldn't make anything appear to sit in. now when you've been around as long as me you know when somethings up. I could get a few things though. I felt Yasumori appear with a plate carrier and the Taurus on my chest. I then looked around. "I know you're here. Come out before I start poking things." Poking a dreams walls when someone was in it sucked, so it was a legitimate threat. I saw the center of the arena shift, the twilight of the arena forming into clouds. A being appeared in the clouds and walked out. It was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. But she was wrong, and not just the black and purple hair. For one she was as pale as an albino, with features that were too perfect. She looked like a porcelain doll given life. Granted if I couldn't tell I probably would have tried to make this a wet dream. As it stood I was on guard, and looking her over. I totally wasn't taking note of the pleasant curves or the legs that could have turned gay men straight. I put a hand on my revolver. "You aren't getting any points bitch, who sent you?" The figure smiled. "No one sends me, I go where and when I please. Now we must talk." I glanced at her again, but luckily self preservation beat libido. "We really don't. In fact if you don't leave I think talking will be last on the list of things I'll do to you." She let out a purr. "Oh, and please tell me what the first thing on the list is." She had slid towards me as she talked. She accentuated her positive traits like a master. I pulled the revolver, forcing her to a stop. "Fist part of the list is seeing if cold Iron kills you, after that I figure trial and error until I've splattered you across this arena." She paused, looking around. "Ah, you think I am one of the Sidhe. I am not, I am in fact a force in Equestria." I laughed at her. "Yeah, now I know your not one thing. Good on you. You have thirty seconds before I turn you into a fine paste." She smiled, and held out her hand. A small rapier appeared in it. "Well if violence is your answer, perhaps we may be civilized?" I thought it over. It was a dream, fuck it. I threw the revolver to the side, and drew Yasumori. "Well then, what do you propose?" I looked at my hands. All my rings were there, so I had fallbacks. The woman began a circle, which I matched. "Swords and skill. No spells. I shall make it so neither of us can use any outside force." I nodded, and began to close the circle. We stayed like that for a moment. Slowly closing in before we started a fatal dance. She moved first, a flurry of stabs that I had to devote my entire mind to slip and deflect. It was masterful. Though at the time I didn't appreciate it. She had a steady rhythm, which left me no room to counterattack. After a salvo that felt like eternity she took a step back. "Well, most fall at the first stab." I was breathing heavy, and took a moment to respond. "I fought harder before." I took the time to think. We began another circle, which I smiled at. She didn't know how crazy I was. If she scored a hit I bet she would stop, if only to gloat. She began to close and I briefly glanced at her sword. It was short. Her attack began again. I slipped and deflected until I saw my chance. A short stab that was meant to throw me off. I reached for it, letting it sink into my upper arm. She paused. She opened her mouth to speak, but my off hand grabbed the blade. I wrenched it to my left, forcing her into my space. She stared at me in shock, and I smiled. "Wanna know how I'll win?" She shifted smoothly into a superior tone. "By allowing me to stab you? A bold strategy, though I fail to see it's merits." Oh, this bitch wasn't used to insanity. I was gonna enjoy educating her. I showed all my teeth. "That's because you have much to learn." My off hand flew into her stomach, causing her to gasp in pain. I threw a knee into her solar plexus, but it barely winded her. She jumped back, pulling the needle tip sword out off my arm. I clenched my teeth, but it was mostly just pain. I fought it off and raised my sword again. I charged first, not giving her time to recover. Our blades clashed, each slice and stab parried by the other. I went for an overhead strike, and she met my blade. Now we were in a predicament. If either of us tried to free our blades the other would attack. She smiled at me from behind her blade. "Well, is this a draw?" I shook my head. "I told you you have much to learn. Try me padawan." I moved my fingers. No magic meant triggering my rings would be immensely tiring, but now I needed to beat this bitch. If only to knock her down a peg. One of my kinetic rings was still out, which apparently translated to the dream, but the other... it was ready. I shifted my grip, pointing it to her feet. "Point and shooty." And I felt my own energy purely power the ring. As time seemed to slow my limbs went heavy. The force lanced out, knocking her to one knee. A shocked gasp came from her throat which I took as a good sign. I grabbed her blade with my free hand, and hit the elbow on the wrong side with my knee. I heard a crack and a muffled scream. The blade dropped to the ground, and she stayed on one knee. I wasn't done. I grabbed her head, one hand on either side, with the grip of my sword sandwiched on one side. I pulled down as my other knee flew up. I let go of her head and sent the knee into her nose, sending her flying back. She landed on her back with a groan. I held my bleeding arm. "And that's how we do it in a real fight you book taught scrub!" She groaned, and I heard some disgusting noises as her arm mended. I stumbled over to my revolver on the ground. and held it up. As the woman rose I fired one of my five shots. It impacted beside her head. "Stay down. I win." She settled, and I heard soft laughter from her prone form. "You are truly odd young one." I gestured with the revolver. "Yeah, my mom said that everyday. Now get outta my head and only come back if your gonna be polite." Her head moved, though I couldn't tell how. She spoke quietly. "Very well, but I do have a quick promise. I will visit again, and though I may be polite, remember that this was for fun. You do not want to taunt me when I will not show as much restraint." With that she faded into nothing, and my dream did too.
Bonus Level - The Rising SunCelestia was having an incredibly dull day. She was currently looking over her desk which was almost bare for the first time in years. She moved the form she just finished to stare at the reason she had been so efficient lately. On the desk was Luna's written report on Draitha's memory from last night. It was a decidedly dark tale, and one that shed some light on Draitha's more aggressive actions. She stared at it with a frown. She had been thinking of her actions, and found them wanting. She had been almost rude, and simply walking into her barn without a word of warning. It had been a very poor choice. You were mad when she ran off, but after some time she realized that it was an issue of safety for Draitha. She was still annoyed that Draitha didn't find her country safe, but couldn't fault her after the memory she had seen. Celestia muttered darkly as she brushed the paper off her desk with a flick of her horn. She picked up the next piece of paper, which was a tax form. She sighed and shuffled it into a small box with a moon stenciled on it. Celestia put the paper inside and watched as it was poofed away to Luna's desk. "Poor little Lulu, how can you love tax code so much that you request it?" Celestia started to smile as she moved around her desk. If she cleared her desk then there was only one cure. In the immortal vein of siblings she would go annoy her sister. She almost skipped through the castle, at least when she knew no pony was watching. She always thought it was important to keep up appearances after all. She made it to her sisters room, and paused a moment. There were none of the normal mild signs that she and her sister used to show she wasn't to be disturbed, so she could exercise her sisterly right to bust through the door. She walked in without knocking. "Oh Lulu, how are we today?" She was stopped by an empty room. Normally if Luna wasn't working she was doting on some project in her room. Celestia looked around and saw a half assembled tool, she walked up to it and sighed. The arcane battery Luna had made was still sparking, so obviously she had been here recently. Celestia sighed and decided the best back up plan available was to her was to bug her secretary. She teleported to her offices reception room, where Raven was graciously sitting at her desk. Celestia smiled. "Inkwell, help me please. I have done all my work and find myself bored." Inkwell smiled at Celestia, and it had an edge. "Well princess, I can fix that. There has been an issue in the" She cleared her throat while holding up a paper. "Bombing stable." Celestia smiled back. "Oh goody, has Dive Bomb done something stupid because of that dragon situation?" inkell shook her head. "Nope, according to the rough report an unkown creature got the dragon to leave, watched Dive Bomb make a foal of himself, again, and then got taken to their post mission party." Celestia froze. "By Faust, did the report mention a name?" Inkwell nodded, and smiled. "Yes, Draitha appears to have been in the castle, though Luna has already gone to meet her. Apparently they put Draitha in their pit." Celestia paled. "Oh my, please tell Luna to get me a full report as soon as she is able." Raven nodded and rose. "She has already put Draitha up in her guest room, and requested cookies there. I'll go tell her now, as well as give her an update on the snacks." Inkwell moved towards the door, but a soft hoof from Celestia stopped her. "Raven, if Draitha pulls out a small tool against you, be very careful." Inkwell paused. The last time Celestia had spoke like that was when Inkwell had to get between two bickering griffons. She nodded slowly. "Of course Princess." Celestia watched as Inkwell trotted out, and sighed. "By Faust, this creature is somehow shortening my immortality simply by being here." She moved slowly back to her office, opening the door. A pony sat in front of her desk, juggling paperwork in wings not suited for the task. Celestia smiled. "Mane Moon, you know we have ponies you could send instead of trying to carry forms yourself?" Mane dropped all his files while doing an odd dance. Celestia smiled as he attempted to bow, stand up straight, and pick up the files all at the same time. Celestia smiled wide. Such a warm-hearted display always brought out happy thoughts."Peace my most loyal subject." Celestia levitated up all the files. After glancing over them she nodded. "Ah the Lunar court has been accused of being a secret hideout again I see. And shockingly I see Bluebloods name at the top of the petitions." Mane Moon looked up. "Yes your highness, I uhm, I tried to tell him that he was being foalish. Unfortunately. He simply called me a commoner. Then he said several unflattering things about... uhm... my service and stormed off." Celestia sighed. "Kibitz, I know your here somewhere." After a small shuffling a grey maned unicorn who wore his age heavily walked out from behind a small desk. Celestia nodded. "Take note Kibitz. Blueblood shall be sent to ambassadorial duties to Yakyakistan until he has learned to treat workers with respect." Kibitz pulled out a scroll, writing down all the details with a nod. "Indeed, and shall I withdraw him at the fifth apology?" Celestia shook her head. "No" She said. "Make it the tenth. This is growing tiresome." "Of course Celestia, and shall I instruct the guard to keep him under watch. We don't want a repeat of the griffon incident." Celestia nodded. "Yes, I would like to avoid another stand off." Kibitz made the notes and walked primly through the door. Celestia looked over at Moon Mane. "Now Moon Mane, is that all, or perhaps you would like to join me for some afternoon tea?" Moon Mane flushed. "Of course your majesty, I shall prepare it immediately!" As he began to sprint out of the room Celestia's hoof stopped him. "No, my little pony. I meant you and me, enjoying tea here. I normally enjoy it with Kibitz, but as he is indisposed you will now hold his job of being my dining partner." Moon Mane lost all color in his face. "Princess, I am not worthy. You must dine with ponies befitting your-" Celestia's hoof softly tapped the pegasus on the snout. "Moon Mane, calm yourself. I will enjoy my tea with you. I know you are fitting company. Luna herself stated you were a good pony who took the time to read her stories. Besides, I simply must actually meet the pony who seemed to actually enjoy my sister's crazed rambling. Please, sit here a moment." With that she trotted out of the room, leaving Moon Mane to his own devices. Moon Mane glanced at the floor, unsure of what to do in the personal office of Princess Celestia. He was, in fact, terrified beyond rational thought. He was fairly certain he had left terror, and approached calm from the wrong way. He glanced around, noting a piece of paper with Luna's seal on it. He knew he shouldn't look at it, but Luna's sketch of the strange creature on it demanded his full attention. He picked it up, glancing at it. It had a character sheet, in the same vein as her pre-story notes. She seemed to be a villain from the description, but there was a decided lack of the normal emotive language she used. He read the whole thing, trying to divine the character behind the words. Celestia walked back in, a tray of tea and cookies resting in her magic. She paused as she saw what Moon was reading. "Oh dear, you weren't supposed to read that." Moon shrank back. "I'm so sorry princess. I simply saw what looked like a new character for Luna's writing and I read it. I didn't think she would mind." Celestia smiled sadly. "It is not a writing aid, my dear Moon. That is her official report on a new visitor to our lands. Sit, we have much to discuss over tea." And talk they did. Celestia gave Moon a condensed version of the events over the past few days. The whole time stressing not to share it with the other ponies of Canterlot. For now Ponyville was gagged on the subject, but they could hardly silence all of Canterlot. She smiled and told him of Draitha's distrust of all, but her budding friendship with Luna. Eventually she settled. "Now Moon, once again. You must not tell others unless it is of the utmost importance. I know you'll do whatever it takes to keep Equestria safe." Moon Mane nodded and began cleaning up their tea. "Of course Princess." He quickly packed everything into a small box and held it in a wing. With a final bow he turned to leave. "Whatever it takes." Author's Note Well, here's something to stave off inevitable boredom. Comments are loved and appreciated.
Level Nine - A Night InI woke up with a start. The mountain looking facade of the minotaur room was an interesting view to wake up to to say the least. I rolled off the bed, reaching for Crowley, and paused. He was still in the barn. I cursed, creepy was probably in there too, doing whatever he felt he should. I realized what this was and jumped out of bed, pulling out a fresh long sleeve shirt and plopping on my plate carrier. I felt metal legs creep up my leg. "Not now Creepy. I have to stop Creepy from building more metal spiders." I paused a moment. I let that statement run through my head. Then I ran it again. I picked Creepy up until he was at my eye level. "You hitched a ride on me, didn't you?" He chirped at me, causing me to groan. "You're a creepy little bugger, I ever tell you that?" Creepy chirped again before wiggling himself free. He climbed on top of the bed and rolled into a ball. Apparently he wasn't feeling chatty. I glanced down at my hastily donned outfit. Yoga pants and a button up only half buttoned, covered by an open plate carrier. I sighed, before stripping down and pulling out fresh jeans. A few minutes later my shirt was buttoned, my carrier closed, and boots were on. I had decided to keep the shirt, no use trying to stylize properly. I looked over my revolver, and spun the cylinder. I listened to the repeating click as it seated itself, still spinning. It clicked home. There were some issues with it though, the clicks seemed to dry. I looked around and saw a table. Okay, now I just needed someone talk to. I walked to my front door. I grabbed the motion sensor and flipped it off as it started beeping. I tossed it behind me not caring where it landed. I peeked through the door. I saw guards in full armor outside, looking generally stoic. I thought of my options. They probably already heard me, and the unicorn might be Silver. I decided simple would be better. I knocked on the opened door. "Yo, you two. I have new official duties for you." The unicorn looked at me and smiled, while the pegasus looked disturbed. I smiled wider at him. "I am in desperate need of a conversational partner. So you two are getting sacrificed to the cause." I opened the door fully "Step into my parlor." The unicorn laughed. "Said the spider to the fly." She walked in easily, taking of her helmet to show Silvers true colors. I laughed. "I'm glad some sayings are here too." I waved the other in, and he elected to keep his helmet on. I moved to the table, sliding a chair out. Everything was made of stone, and it was just as comfortable as it sounded. "Damn magic users, never worry about creature comforts." I picked up the revolver, looking at the key locks holding the revolver together. I sighed, moving my bag from my shoulder and digging out a fitting tool. I nodded towards silver. "So, how long was I out?" Silver was digging in a nearby closet, and pulled two pillows out. She moved them both to the table and threw them down. "Couple hours maybe. We've only been here one or two." She tapped the pillow beside her. "Come on Vice, he probably won't bite." The pegasus looked like a spooked dog, and slowly moved to the pillow. He stared at me the whole time. I began checking him over. He was wearing standard guard fare from what I'd seen, but instead of a spear he carried a sword. I gestured towards it. "So Vice, what's with the sword. All the other guards I've seen have spears." Vice instantly froze for a moment, a distant look in his eyes. "This is a Stronghoof Mark VII Blade, it can cut through most armor easily, and keeps it's edge well. It is superior to the standard spears in all but reach. It requires extra training to use effectively, and therefore is only carried by specialists." He said all that in a monotone, lecturing voice. Then paused staring at me, before shrinking back down. "And I'm uh, I'm really good with swords." I smiled, and pointed towards Yasumori as it leaned against the bed. "I'm not half bad myself. Granted I don't use them as much as these." I gestured to the revolver, before picking it up and popping the cylinder out. "It solves a lot of issues a lot faster when a fight last less than a minute. Vice stared as I began disassembling the revolver. "How can that thing end a fight so quickly?" I smiled wide. Time to unleash the inner nerd. I tipped the cylinder, putting five .357 rounds on the table. "See these?" He nodded. "These small cylinders send a chunk of lead going 1,700 feet per second into some unfortunate recipients chest." I flicked it once. "And it makes a satisfying boom." I put the round down, as Vice stared. "What sort of enchantments are on that? Starswirl's arrow charms can only get them to go about four hundred if I remember. And most speed spells need more mass." I shook my head and pulled out a cleaning kit. "No spells. Just a lot of mechanical knowledge from people smarter than me." I ran a brush over the revolver, before picking at some of the finer parts. I saw the little clicker that held the cylinder was ground down a little bit. I let out a laugh. "Ha, trying to wear down on me again. Not today." The ponies stared at me as I dug around in my pack. I pulled out a small container of blue gel. I tapped it a few times and put a spray nozzle on the offending part. I put a small amount of the gel on it before smiling. "Want to see a magic trick?" Both ponies nodded. I began the hardest task of my life. I did math. I'm no genius, but the way all my future gloop worked basically boiled down to crunching the numbers of how much magical juice it took to form an addition to an object, and constantly keep an exact mental picture of the object your making. I don't have a non-magical analogue, but it was kinda like trying to do advanced trigonometry, astrophysics, and then throw in trying to keep a full object in your head all at the same time. Then to top it all of you have to throw all those thoughts into lightning and shoot it into the gel. I thought of all this for a moment, solidifying it all in my head. "Perun" I hit the gel with what I hoped was the right amount juice. The piece of gel hardened, transforming a small portion to steel matching the clicker perfectly. I wiped off the excess gel and scooped it back into the nozzle. A button press later and it was sucked in. I smiled at it, and put it down. Silver gawked. "That is soo..." I waited, expecting grand reveals of wonder and amusement. Silver had other plans. "-stupid. Do you always have to use so much magic just for simple patch jobs?" I froze. I just showed a an insane fusion of technology and magic to a pony. And she called it stupid. I pushed the shattered remnants of my pride down before I responded. "Well, it works. So shush." I began reassembling the revolver, letting pieces click back into place easily. Silver didn't let it die though. "Well, you can fix stuff way easier with a basic repair spell. That gel seems like an unnecessary step." I stared at her, before taking the moral high ground. I grunted, and flipped her off. She smiled. "I'm just gonna assume that's some alien insult and be proud of myself." Vice thwapped her with a wing. "Silver, stop antagonizing the alien who can get rid of dragons alone." I nodded at the wise pegasus. "Indeed Vice." I said, adopting the tones of a wise sage. "One should respect those who meddles in the affairs of dragons. For they are crunchy, and taste good with ketchup." I reloaded the revolver. Before closing it with a flick of my wrist. "Besides she's right. In my culture raising your middle finger is a way to basically say fuck you." The ponies paused as I re holstered my pistol. I stood and smiled wide. Vice smiled back. God, that colt was adorable when he smiled. "Why would that be an insult?" I smiled back. "One sec, I'll show you." I reached into my bag, and pulled out a short bow. It was meant for horseback, and as such actually fit. I Readied the bow and used my head to gesture to my middle finger, which was holding back the draw string. "see how my middle finger holds back the string?" The ponies nodded as I lowered the string back to a resting position. "Long in my worlds past two armies clashed. One side had great archers, and the other army threatened before the battle to cut off their middle fingers." I wiggled my fingers. "This would mean they could no longer be archers. The archers army won, and all the archers raised their middle fingers to the approaching army. In that moment it meant fuck you, still got 'em, and as time passed it became an insult." I put the bow on the table. If it was out, might as well play a bit. I took the bow string of and looked it over. Vice was making a face of disgust at my story, Silver however was smiling. "That's so cool! Just imagine, someone braking down your door and threatening you, then when you kick 'em out you flaunt what you kept as they leave." She threw a hoof out like a punch. "What I wouldn't give to have seen it happen." My eyes went blank for a moment, and I was there. Not that battle, but medieval warfare was something I had dealt with before. I could feel my plates absorbing sword blows, the crunch of bone under my mace. The pain as an arrow sunk deep into my thigh. I was woken by a wing being fluffed in my face. I took note of all the feathers seeming to go different directions as it moved, before shaking my head. "Uh, yeah sorry. What'd I miss?" Silver was gone, and Vice was looking very nervous. "Uhm, well. After Silver said she wanted to be there you kinda... zoned out. At first we thought you were thinking, but you stayed that way for ten minutes. Silver's run off to get some help." I thought all that over, before Vice's quiet cough woke me up again. "Ma'am, you can let go of your leg now." I glanced down. My hand had been clasping my thigh until my knuckles were white. I released the grip, letting blood flow return to normal. I flexed my fingers. "Yeah... yeah." I picked up the bow, looking over which specific one it was. It wasn't a medieval one. I had enchanted it. Now I know I said I used the fires of creation as a sledgehammer. In a fight that was strictly true. I couldn't do fine spells for the life of me if I was stressed. But in the calm and safety of a safe house? I could play magic like a damn rock star. Only for enchantments really, and even then only for shortcuts to the fine spells I can't do. Which is why when the door opened I could do some beautiful combat magic. The door was only half opened as I pulled back the bow string. It fully opened as I screamed. "Aquarius, Blizzaga!!" The humidity of the room condensed, forming an arrow of water, and then froze into an arrow of pure ice. A series of runes along the bow began to glow in a soft blue light. I held it tight as a purple hoof managed to walk in, only to freeze as the arrow lodged itself in the ground in front of it. I pulled back the bow again, repeating the spells. "Didn't your mother teach you to knock?" The hoof withdrew, and the door closed. A moment later a knock followed. I would teach these ponies manners if it killed them. Maybe I shouldn't have been so literal, but meh. I nodded towards the door. "Come in, slowly if you like all your bits attached." And in walked the walking textbook. Twilight Sparkle herself slowly moved through the door, staring at the arrow currently melting into the stone floor. The bow stayed steady for a moment longer than necessary, until I felt Vice's wing on my arm. "You're good Draitha, nopony's here to hurt you." I sighed, trying to calm down a heart I didn't notice was beating out of control. I took in a few deep breaths. "Alright" I said, lowering the bow and releasing the magic. The arrow fell to the floor with a clatter. I breathed deep, my hands shaking as I sat back down. When did I stand up? Damn this wasn't fun. I let out a deep breath, before putting the bow in my lap. "Sorry Twi, bad time." She was still staring at the arrow. She then slowly turned her head to me and... oh my, that smile couldn't be scarier. "Draitha, why is your magical construct not dissipating?" Ohhhh bother. Magical super nerd had apparently seen something she wasn't used too. Two options, kill or run. I was surrounded by armed ponies in an unfamiliar castle, so kill was stupid. Plus this was Twilight, she was a good pony. Probably. So run, except I was still shaky and in a castle that I had no clue how to get around in. So normal plan A was out. New plans, explain or deflect. Explain might lead to more questions, but deflect could lead to a full blown interrogation. Time to use both. I waved my fingers. "Magic." Twilight stared at me before blowing out a gust of air towards her mane. "You never give a straight answer do you?" I shook my head. "No one gets my secrets easy. If it makes you feel better you can say it's a weird human thing." Twilight moved fully in, sitting on Silver's pillow. "No it doesn't. Anyways Luna sent for us when she found out you had been sucked into that 'event' with the royal guard." I smiled and patted Vice. "Yeah, I made some friends. And I tried to fight a dragon. I also almost shot Luna, but I don't think I'm supposed to share that." Oh sweet Christ. With each sentence Twilight's eyes bugged out a little more. As her eyes bugged out Vice scooted further away. Gods this was wonderful. Twilight began sputtering at my quick summary, which apparently she had not been told. Ah, Celestia is still the master of dickery. I saw to the sputtering Twilight in the only way possible. I picked her up. She didn't even move, apparently in a full neurotic breakdown. I put her down outside the room and shut the door behind her. Deflection strategy successful. I smiled as I moved back to my chair. "Okay, I needed that." After a moment Vice began laughing. It only took a second for me to as well. I was beginning to like this guy.
Bonus Level - Dirty DeedsPlague's doctor office was far from what most ponies thought of as a place of healing. This was intentional. The first reason for this deception was the fact that Plague had no medical licensing whatsoever. In fact the only thing he could reliably fix was a broken leg. The other reason was that he was a premier street doc. If a criminal had gotten a scrape in the night, they would haul themselves over to the Plague House, which if you looked at the business records was s imply a hotel, and ask if the plague was in. He always was. The way he had stayed in business to be the top doctor in the underground scene was two fold. One, was that most of his nurses were actually the trained surgeons, and paid as such. The other was that he was one of the most skill prosthetic makers in all of Equestria. If it hadn't been for his earlier experiments he could easily have been a royal doctor. But he never spent time worrying about what if's. In fact. As he was sitting in his study with his on duty nurse, he was more worried about his uniform. While the cloak still fully covered him, his long, bird-like mask had a chip in it, revealing his yellow fur, though it still covered where a horn would be. An earth pony doctor was rare enough, no reason to show off who he really was. "Vell." He said, his accent clearly audible. "I feel like zis crack vill give avay my face." The assistant, a zebra who had found Plague by being temporarily assigned to the palace, let out a short snort. "Your mask is fine, oh doctor of mine." Though hidden by his mask, Plague blushed. The zebra mare was cute, and he had been debating asking her out for a while now. He knew her word choice was to keep up the rhyme, but he still hoped it was flirting. He raised himself up. "Yes, but you know as vell as I that Criminals come her for ze show of ze Plague Doctor." He began fidgeting. "But I vell leave it for ze moment. Is zat pony vith the info coming soon?" The zebra stood, and affixed a cloak to her front, covering all but her muzzle. "Yes of course, oh doctor dear. Of him being tardy, have no fear." Plague shuffled. That was definitely flirting. As much as he welcomed it he was at best a novice flirt. If somepony was being polite he could be called acceptable. His lack of social grace was another reason he worked with criminals after all. He moved towards his normal post for scheduled appointments. Behind the desk, standing tall. He raised his hood, making the glass inserts of his mask shine brightly above his beak. The zebra mare moved beside him, before whispering in a serious tone. "Skipping the rhyming, this one's from the castle. He made me as one of your nurses. He said he needed this info to circulate. Be careful." Plague paused. Shaman's always rhymed, it was a cultural thing. If she had been willing to forgo it then this was important. He nodded. "Of course Zendra. I alvays show utmost caution." Zendra giggled. "Of course not, silly Plague, though of his info he was vaugue." Plague waited a moment before a knock sounded at his door, after a moment a robed pony walked in. His robe fully covered his body, making him seem to be a dark bedsheet walking around. Plague made sure to keep quiet about it. Ponies who never dealt with criminals seemed to think there was quiet a few more rules then there actually were. He nodded towards the pony. "Vhat is it you are wanting. I have been told you wish to part vith some invormation?" The pony paused, before glancing at Zendra. Plague could feel the glare from under the hood. But the pony sighed and began speaking. "Yes, there is a dangerous creature in the castle. We wish for your to spread word of it to all members of the thieves guild and mention where it is staying when I can tell you." Plague paused at that. He was not normally an informant, but bits were bits. He could buy the info, then sell it to his customers at a higher price. a perfect plan. He looked at Zendra, who slightly moved her tail in an affirmative gesture. He smiled beneath his mask. "Of course, I zink ve can come to an arrangement. How much vould zis cost me?" The pony shuffled as if unsure. "Yes well, that is why I am here. The Eye would like your services if we manage to capture the creature. You come highly recommended for interrogation and intimidation. For the information the only thing we want is you to help us at a discount when the time comes." Plague sighed. He hated being used for that. All he ever actually did was start talking in a threatening manner while wearing his uniform. Ponies were so skittish around a scary pony with an accent. But it was a fair deal. "Ver vell zhen, I vill do zis for you. Once ze are planned out, I vill be available barring major zurgery." The pony nodded, before moving to a pillow and sitting down. "Well then, I'll give you the details. I'll pass all the info to the court alchemist when I get it." At this he looked at Zendra. Plague frowned. This was going to be a long meeting.
Level Ten - A View of CanterlotThe laughter lasted a long time. Long enough for another knock to come and be promptly ignored by both me and Vice. We started calming down by the second knock, and at the third I had recovered enough to stand. "Who issss it~?" I sing songed, moving to the door. Gods, laughing was really nice. I hadn't actually had fun with somebody in a long time. A refined voice came from the other side of the door. "It's only Rarity dear, and Twilight, but she seems to be distracted." I smiled wide and peeked the door. Indeed Rarity was there, and Twilight was still staring at a wall where I left her. I gestured for Rarity to walk in, which she did with a graceful smile. "Thank you dear. Luna had said you had had a trying evening. I simply had to come make sure you were fine, some of those guards are absolutely brute-ish." She looked to Vice who had elected to stand behind me. Hiding from Rarity. So he wasn't just terrified of me, he was a shy little bugger too. Gods, he was just like a little kid. I patted him on the head absently. "Oh, they tried to jump me. Once." I flashed a smile. Moving to the large chair I sat back down. "But it all turned out fine. Plus the Princess said I'd get a house out of this, so I'm cool with it." Rarity smiled. "Of course dear, Luna filled me in. In a few hours we're supposed to catch the train to Ponyville and meet a construction team." I smiled. "So, by that line of thought I should be allowed out in the city then?" Rarity nodded while moving to one of the pillows. "Yes dear, Lady Light is learning of a spell that should allow you out and about in Canterlot without the Princesses having to deal with a million calls to the guards." I could deal with that, not having people flee in terror was always nice. I put the bow away in my bag, before sitting back fully. "Fair enough. Though I hope Silver doesn't mind, since I showed up she's pretty much been my personal guard, with Vice here dragged around as her second." I tried to gesture towards Vice, but he just slunk behind my chair. Rarity raised her eyebrow at my chair. "Yes, I had heard he said some rather uncouth things when you first met. Though I must admit everypony's been very tight lipped about it though." I nodded. "Sorry Rarity, it's personal stuff of mine. Honestly I lost it a little bit. But that's besides the point." Rarity looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "And what is the point dear?" I smiled wide and spread my arms. "The point is I get to explore a new city!" I leaned back the whole chair, which managed to make Vice jump from behind it. I sheepishly patted him in between the wings. "Sorry man, I'm just super excited." I stood up and began moving towards the bed to tap Creepy. "Hey Creepy, get up." He unrolled, as I heard a sharp intake of breath from Rarity and Vice. It seems they shared my thoughts on Creepy. "We're going on a trip, I'll need eyes. You up for it little guy?" He clicked a few times before climbing up my arm, and perching on my shoulder. Rarity trotted up and visibly shuttered at my new friend. "Well dear, when Silver arrives you will surely be allowed to explore. There is a show of some sort happening about Lunchtime, we could make it easily." I smiled wide. "Hells yea, let's get ready." I began throwing together an explorers outfit. My beanie, a turtleneck, and cargo pants later I felt much more ready to explore, with only an hour or two until the show. I was also hosting a few more ponies. Namely a recovered Twilight who still wouldn't speak directly to me, and a grumpy Silver Light. She was grumpy because apparently Vice had been supposed to brief Twilight on the situation before I had the chance to break her, and had been distracted by my antics. I took full responsibility, but she seemed less than thrilled with the whole situation. She grumbled as her horn glowed over me. "So now I get to enchant the crazy alien to look like a freaking minotaur. All I wanted to do was one simple assignment, and now I get this." She grumbled as her horn flashed over me. covering me in a few measured illusions that hooked onto my clothes. Creppt chirped in alarm as they washed over him. She pointed a glare at him. "And don't get me started on your buckin' pet." I smiled at her wide enough to split my face. "Yeah, but I can finally look inside you guy's city without being a complete freak." She smiled back, though I could tell it had a minor strain. "Yeah well, you still wanna catch that Trixie show later?" At the mention of the name Rarity and Twilight paused, and began a hushed conversation in the corner. I however, cared not for their pony power politics. I nodded. "Yep, watching a show can tell you a whole lot about an area. Plus I love theater, I was an actor myself for a little while." Silver's smile formed into a much more genuine article. "Of course you were, I can actually see it. So what do you say we head out and see some sights? You know you're actually right beside the statue gardens, which are super popular, right?" I was standing up. "Nice, let's check 'em." I was led through a maze like hall of tapestries again, only this time I was excited. I loved being a tourist, and after seeing the guards in action and getting some good sleep I was much less worried about actual dangers. Plus new shows turn me into an overexcited school child. We made it into the statue gardens fairly quickly, exiting some huge door into a beautifully maintained garden. Now, I'm scared you misunderstand me. When I say this garden was near perfect I don't want you to imagine some little garden that's homey and pretty. Every flower, every bush. Hell, I think every leaf was perfectly positioned. The only thing that disturbed it was a statue in the center. It was posed as if mid song, or perhaps a theatrical blown kiss. Either way, it was gloriously wrong. Different animals making up all the various pieces as it assembled by a three year old on the sugar rush from hell. I walked up in awe, and I saw it's name. 'Discord - Spirit of Disharmony' The whole garden was a perfect picture of order, but disharmony itself sat at the seat. I'm pretty sure there's some philosophy behind that, but I'm not the one to say it. I reached out, and touched the statue, and heard it speak. Well Aren't you special? I managed to stay still. I doubted saying I heard a statue speak would make it easier to catch my show. I breathed deep, letting my mind settle away from such bad thoughts as 'WHAT THE FUCK' and 'WHY IS A STATUE TALKING'. I went through a mental list of all the weirder shit I'd seen to calm down. I nodded at the statue, before moving back to Silver. I took a half second to hide my "I think I'm done here Silver. I really want to see the city itself." Silver looked at me strangely, but nodded slowly. "Yeah, sure. there's an exit to the city back here." She led me past a huge hedge maze and through a massive topiary doorway. I swear a freaking titan could have walked through it. I stared the whole way out, and when I stopped I saw something beautiful. I saw Canterlot. It was like someone combined all the beauty of ye olde Camelot with all the wonder of a fantasy world. Then threw in modern architecture for giant buildings. All of it looked like ivory and gold, with culture literally visible in the streets. I don't know how long I stared, but I was awoken from my stupor by Silvers hoof in my ribs. "Hey Draitha, you good." I stared at the city a moment more, before charging towards it. "C'mon Silver, I've gotta see everything!!" Author's Note Short chapter, I know. But I'm already working on the next one. A couple other hints to the next few chapters here too. Hope you enjoy it.
Level Eleven - Trix of the TradeI quickly found out that all of Canterlot was not a literal Ivory palace. After running through the maze like roads I had found my true place. The criminal back alleys. While the Ivory palace was filled with wonder and glory, this was filled with danger and sin. I loved it almost as much. I moved like a criminal, sticking to shadows without hiding, and walking like I was the baddest bitch on the block. I saw my reflection in the mirror and stopped. I was blue... I was a blue freaking minotaur. I didn't know they came in blue. The only clothing on me was a chest wrap, and my bag. And I was still just as scarred. Each nail looked like a small circular scar that still faintly glowed. I also had my normal scars still, with the illusion making my scars seem larger to match the larger body. I never looked at mirrors, because I didn't want to know. But by God I looked terrifying. I smiled wickedly, looking like a pagan god of death. I turned to the alleys and walked forward, staring at the ponies as they walked. I bumped into a yellow stallion and waved a hand. He paused, looking me over. "Hello zhere, you are new, no?" I cracked a smile, which caused a minor flinch. I had to think of a personality. I went through my mental files as fast as possible, before settling on an old one. When I was on some oil platform I was a mercenary, who told stories. It was fitting for all the scars I had. Some mental adjustment made me an explorer with seedy backgrounds. With a mental mask on I began speaking. "Hello friend. I was told of a show in the area. I am in need of directions to some pony called Trixie." The pony was staring at my scars before slowly nodding. He was still staring at the giant gash on my thigh. "Of course, Ze show vill be down ze street. Just exit the alley and turn to your right. Be varned, she haz a thing for audience participation." I smiled and moved shouting behind me. "I shall tell you a story in thanks later. If we meet anyways. God guide you my friend!" He looked confused as I ran off, but nodded and continued down the street. I walked through the alley, before leaving the alley and following the ponies directions. I found a sizeable crowd forming around a stage, a countdown written out of blue light sitting in the sky. It was going down, though I barely knew these pony moon runes. I moved up the crowd, my terrifying new suit clearing a path for me. I sat down directly under the stage, as a royal guard sprinted up to me. "Draitha you Celestia-forsaken fool!" She charged to a stop as I realized it was an armored up Silver. She jumped up, and skid to a halt leaving a literal smoke trail behind her. I waved at her. "Ah, sister Silver. I have found the spot of the show. Would you like to join me in jolly cooperation?" Silver stared at me as if I spoke gibberish. I smiled wide. "Come my sister, we have a show to watch!" "You are insane." Silver stated, trying to keep her face deadpan while siting beside me. She watched the countdown for a moment before leaning back. "Only a minute left, you gonna volunteer?" I paused. The yellow stallion had mentioned that Trixie liked audience participation. I nodded. "Of course, I shall have to see this wondrous show from as close as possible." The countdown flickered once, before exploding into sparks. A voice shouted from the stage. "Truly? A minotaur wishes to share a stage with the Great and Powerful Trixie? And what can she do that would even manage to pique Trixie's interest?" I stood, smiling wide. "I am the most well-traveled being in the universe. I have seen things that would amaze and horrify, and I can share those tales with you. I have found the lost arts, and can wield them to inspire and destroy. I am the Vault Dweller of 13, and the Time traveller of Katorga 12. So I think what you should be asking, is why I should care about you." I moved up to the stage, and hopped up. Standing tall, I saw all ponies staring at my bared skin. But I didn't care, I was a bad-ass wanderer, not some lost little girl. "Trixie supposes you sound impressive enough, we shall gladly see your show. Though be prepared to weep at Trixie's perfection when you see the peak performance she will put forth." With that the curtains parted wide, showing a rearing blue unicorn in a wizards hat and cloak. She stomped down, sending a path of glowing lights to the edge of the stage. She twirled her hair once. "Very well, Trixie will go first." And go first she did. She raised a large circle of magic, before popping it with a hoof movement. The bubble exploded into multicolored light, as Trixie corralled the motes into a massive multicolored ball, which she bounced back and forth. "Would anypony like to play catch?" A stallion raised his hoof, and the ball sailed towards him. As soon as he touched it it exploded into a blinding white light, and the actual show began. I want to write down the show in exacting detail. I really do. But with God as my witness I couldn't do it justice if I tried. Giant illusionary creatures fought, and landscapes moved to Trixie's whim. It was glorious. By the end she had a slight sheen of sweat, but an immensely satisfied smile. "Well, can you match Trixie's skill?" I shook my head. "Your illusions? No." Her face dropped an inch before I sat on the stage. "But I will show you how to truly capture a crowd." I ran through a few of the shows I had done before. I nodded my head at the show I had in mind. I would tell the story of the mask I had edited for this disguise. I looked over the ponies. "Hello, ponies of Canterlot and beyond. I wish to share with you the story of another world. I wish to tell you the story, of Genesis" With that word I rose my hands, and an illusionary globe appeared between them. There was a small gasp as I moved my hands, increasing the size of the earth in my grip. "Long ago, in the far lands of Earth, there was a man. He was loyal to his country, a true patriot to his home." I closed my hands, making the globe disappear. "He only trusted one person, his teacher. A woman so powerful, she was only known, as the boss. However, as a loyal soldier, he was told to kill her." There were gasps, as I tried to remember the scene. I wasn't there for it, but I had seen it played in it's game. Which was still super weird. "Vigilous Boss" And the field was there. Snake pointing a rifle at the fallen boss. There was silence as the crowd stared, then the gunshot rang out. The boss jerked, and died as I dismissed the scene. "And what did he get? What did his land give him for this?" I paused, as I saw thoughts run through the crowd. Some thought land or titles, but none looked close to the truth. "He was betrayed. Again and again. By the woman he loved, by the friends who helped him. He was betrayed by all, with only two exceptions." My arms moved, one of my rings being used to leave a chain of sparks. "Two friends stood by him, and made a new nation. A nation of soldiers, which they called, the Diamond Dogs." I showed the logo, and looked at the crowds confusion. I ignored it as I continued. "And while he had many adventures, they are not the tale I will tell. Today I will tell you of the final stand of a lone woman in his group. Laughing Dingo, the wandering soldier." My hands clenched into a single, clubbed, fist. "Vigilous Dingo." I revealed myself, as I was then. Solid black fatigues, a ballistic mask, and a rifle on my side. "This woman joined freely, and managed many successful jobs. She even fell in love. I tinkered with the illusion, bringing in Grinning Hyena. He was a tall lean man, carrying only a revolver on his hip. "But alas, tragedy seemed inevitable. They were sent on a simple mission, on which should have ended easily enough." I dispelled this illusion, and wiped the sweat off my brow. Unfortunately they were attacked, set upon by foes that would not rest until they were struck down. "Vigilous Failure Forty Two" I'm not gonna lie, this hurt even behind the mask, but I was to into it to back down now. Above me the sky turned into a large illusion. Bullets rained and mortars fell. Me and Hyena hunkered behind a rocky Afghanistan hill side. Rounds flying around us, Hyena peeked out to line up a shot, before a round split his head, making him fall as a lifeless husk on the dirt. "Hyena fell, and the true tragedy began. As I said, Dingo was a wanderer. What I didn't mention was that it was not of her free will." My past self held Hyena close, and you could faintly hear my true voice sobbing as I held him. I let out a sigh, and focused on the story. "Her time there was up, and after watching her love die, she left. A portal appearing, and dragging her away. Never again to see him, or even say goodbye." A white hole appeared beneath Dingo, and she desperately pawed at the dirt. I remembered trying my hardest just to hold him a moment longer, as the portal sucked me in. I flinched. "And my friends, that is the sad tale of Laughing Dingo. She passed though that world, leaving all she loved behind. Take this tale to heart. If any of you have someone you love, grab them. Hold them close, for you never know when they will leave, or when you must leave them." I let out a sigh and stood, disrupting my illusion and taking a deep bow. "I hope you enjoyed my show dear ponies. I am not much for impromptu tales, so if you wish for me you must find me with a scheduled show." I looked at Silver's expression of mild horror and sorrow. "Though I doubt my business partners will allow it." The ponies began filing out, and I heard several clinks as coins fell into waiting cups around the stage. Though they seemed a bit spooked. I guess they didn't like tragedy. I turned and saw Trixie staring at my face from the respectable distance of half an inch in front of my face. I responded calmly. "JESUS FUCK FRIEND!!" I spasmed back as Trixie stared at my quick retreat. She quirked her head before smiling. "You have a talent worthy of notice. Trixie offers you a meal in her home in exchange for your wonderful tale." I smiled wide. "I would love to." I paused and glanced at Silver, who was now chewing her lip thoughtfully. "Assuming my escort approves of our unscheduled change of plans." Silver seemed to snap back up. She glanced around before finding a clock mounted on the next door building. "Yeah, we got until three before the train leaves." I followed her eyes and saw the clock. Luckily it was analog, so I could see it was about one-thirty. I smiled at Trixie. "Lead on my fair-weather friend. We must hurry, unless I wish to miss my ride." Trixie smiled. "But of course, allow Trixie to show you the way to her wonderful carriage." She led me behind the stage, to a small carriage. I stared at it a moment before Trixie spoke. "Do not worry, Trixie has placed a spell upon it. It is large enough for you on the inside, so long as you don't try to explore Trixie's various rooms." I saw her walk in, her doorway was solid black, but seemed safe enough. I followed, ducking beneath the door frame and entering into a large dining room. I also heard a static discharge as a small bolt of lightning zapped me. I wrapped my fingers around Yasumori, and paused. Trixie had turned to look at me, and froze. That was probably less than good. I looked down. Oh. I'm not a pretty minotaur anymore. "Fuck." I heard hoofsteps as Silver walked in behind me. There was another zap, and I heard her speak in barely more than a whisper. "Buck." Yeah. My thoughts exactly.
Level Twelve - Wake Up CallOkay, so now I had no plan. I had been in a few similar situations before this, make no mistake, but I normally was packing considerably more heat. In unknown situations I at least have to have much more firepower when my cover gets blown. I think nukes are my favorite. Silver was staring at Trixie, and Trixie was staring at me. I ran through about fourty plans in my head. At least thirty-eight would probably get me killed, and one got me and Silver killed. I settled on the one plan that would merely suck. I raised a hand, and felt my will channeling the fundamental fires of creation. I felt my body strain as I forced the magic through a mental circle, forcing it to my way of thinking. I brow beat it, using my mind to force it into the right shape, and whispered a spell. "Noctis Aeterna" With those words I forced the magic out at Trixie. Trixie shuddered as the spell hit. "What have you done to me?" I watched her fall to her knee's as Silver stood frozen, unable to comprehend what was happening. The spell fully took, and I collapsed to one knee, panting. Silver was still frozen, staring at Trixie's fallen form. I took a few moments to simply breathe. I wasn't exactly an expert at sleep spells. Especially without a focus. I spent some time trying to review what I had done. I turns out that was mildly dangerous. Mostly because I realized I could easily have just killed her. "Fuck!" I yelled, stumbling up from my knee to look over Trixie. I held my hand to her throat and felt for a pulse. I was instantly reassured by the slight, steady beat. I sat beside her, letting out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. "Phew, she's fine." I leaned back, letting myself breathe deep. I looked down at my form. Still human, with my button up slightly stained from my sweat. I brought my hands into my vision, looking them over. I was more doing it to not look at Trixie. My response to being exposed were not... healthy. I would hazard to say it was downright stupid. I was proven right by a solid hit in the ribs, forcing me to fall to my side. A hoof fell on my chest as I rolled, and I saw Silver looking at me with more rage than I thought an adorable little pony. Her horn glowed as she glared down at me. "You bucking monster." She was talking at a normal volume, which was honestly scarier than if she shouted at me. "What did you do to her?" I raised my hands in surrender. "She's fine, just sleeping. I didn't know what to do when my disguise snapped." The glow from her horn faded, but here expression stayed hard. I spoke faster. "I can wake her up in a bit. I'll need a second to rest though." The hoof slowly raised from me, but the glower barely receded. She stared at me for another moment, before finally looking away. "Luna's gonna be pissed if Trixie asks to many questions." I paused, that sounded like a lot of assassination contracts I'd gotten, but a pony wouldn't say that, right? Silver instantly ended that. "We'll have to take her to Ponyville with us. I can give her a full briefing on what she just ran into." I nodded. "Yeah, but what about my illusion. Did she intentionally sabotage it, or what?" Silver tapped at a gem above the entrance to the carriage. "Nah, it looks like she had a dispel gem at the top of her door frame. Now that I know about it I can keep the enchantment safe from it." She turned to me, her horn beginning to glow again. I flinched as her magic washed over me, covering me in her enchantment once more. I looked over to Trixie. "So, how are we getting her to Ponyville?" Silver smiled in an altogether unfriendly way. "Why? The old fashioned way of course." I felt a chill creep up my spine. *** I was sweating. A lot. Silver was wildly laughing behind me as I ran through the countryside. I tried to think of a sensible reason for why I was hooked to the carriage and running out of Canterlot, but personally I feel like Silver was just pissed at me. I ran through fields like a majestic cheetah. Or closer to an obese jogger trying to catch their breath. "Why in God's name am I doing this again?" Silver was sitting at the helm of the carriage. "Because, you put an unregistered spell on an innocent civilian, and because it's this or I tell Luna." I groaned and continued running Ponyville was another ten miles away, and I wanted to still get there on time. Though in all honesty it was still preferable to Luna jumping me. I reached Ponyville out of breath, and gasping for air. I held a hand to my stomach as I tried to resist doubling over, as that would make my recovery take even longer. I settled my breath as Silver hopped off the carriage. I turned to her. "Okay, new rule. If I cast a huge spell, you pull the cart." Silver scoffed at me. "If you do it on another pony again I'll do worse than make you pull the cart." She began moving back to the carriage. "The building crew is at Twilights library, just head over there and they can start on your housing arrangements. I'm gonna take care of Trixie. Wake her up real quick?" I followed her up the stairs and passed through the doorway. "Yeah, let me grab a snack, get some energy up." Silver stared at me like I was crazy as I pulled my bag of my back, and pulled out one of Applejack's apples. I took a bit as she ran up to me. "Why? We need to wake her up as soon as possible." She stomped a hoof down as she spoke. God, all these ponies are weaponized cute. I think I could feel the heart attack coming on. I covered my face. "Not the cute! Please?" I took another bite of my apple, keeping my face hidden. "My magic runs on my own energy, I need energy to wake her up. Just give me a minute." I heard a huff, but when I lowered my hand Silver had begun looking over Trixie. I finished up my apple quickly and tossed the core in my bag. I stood slowly, letting out a groan. "Alright, move over a bit." I saw Silver duck to the side as I reached into my bag. Without a huge rush I could do this the easy way. I pulled out a piece of chalk. I began talking aloud as I began drawing a chalk circle on the smoothed wood. "Waking up is easy, just a loud noise. So for a magical sleep needs a magical snap." I clicked the chalk against the floor as I finished the circle. "Now I just need some reference material..." I paused at my bag. I could use a variety of references, but I needed something this worlds magical field would recognize to properly channel the natural magical field. I dug out a few different reference pages. Namely Latin, Runic, and Japanese. I grabbed the three scrolls, gesturing to Silver. "Hey, magical pony. Gimme a hand real quick?" Silver grumbled as she walked over. "And why would I want to help you?" I smiled as I unrolled the parchment. "Because I can do this easily enough with a proper focus, but I need one this worlds magical field will recognize easily. While enough belief can force a field to recognize what I'm doing I'd prefer if it were a bit easier. Do any of these look familiar?" I gestured towards the scrolls as Silver looked over them. She tapped the runic scroll. "I'm not gonna lie, I don't really recognize any of these, but those there look like they could be a version of caribou runes. I don't know enough about them to be sure though." She tapped a hoof on the floor. "But why would belief enter into it? Magic happens when you focus, belief doesn't matter." I half nodded as I began trying to find the proper rune and word combo. Upon finding it I sketched the rune several times, circling Trixie. While I sketched the runes I began explaining to Silver. "My magic is powered by two things. One is my emotions. They give the magic it's initial energy. The second one is a worlds native magical atmosphere." I finished the second rune, moving to another point. I was thinking four, one on each cardinal direction. "When I traveled I found that focii that were familiar to the world worked better than ones I liked. I've adapted up to a point, but I can't use a purely native focus." I finished the third rune and moved to the final point. "I have to believe in the focus I'm using. If I don't the spell will collapse, and I get a massive headache." I finished up the final rune and let out a low whistle. I then began the finishing touch. A pentagram around the circle and runes. Silver watched quietly before exploding into sound. "WHY DO YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH ALL THIS!!!" She began muttering and pacing, apparently fed up with my slow going. I erased the part of the pentagram that was disturbed by her outbreak before responding, trying to find my emotional center. "Because I'm not good at this magic. The spell to put her to sleep was simple, but I'm really bad at that kind of thing. If I use all of this, it will greatly improve my chances of success, while also making it much easier. Plus failing might hurt Trixie, and that would be bad." I mostly meant for me, but no reason to throw that out. I finished the pentagram and allowed a small smile. "Fair warning, this is gonna be a lot more theatrical than the spell to put her to sleep. So, don't interrupt. It might end in a back fire, which would make this whole thing take a lot longer." I sat down, and took deep breathes, trying to clear my mind. I focused, letting go of all my worries and fears. There were a few still lying in my head. Lurking in the far corners of my mind. I imagined them in their own circle, barring them from interference. I then focused my emotions. Plenty of regrets, but that wouldn't due. I took contentment. The feeling after eating those cookies with Luna, Dive, and the others. I formed it into my magic, and made it into the proper shape. I then forced it into the runes. The runes began glowing in an ethereal white light. I pushed the magic more, as the lights all descended onto Trixie. I felt the shape solidify over Trixie, and triggered the spell. "Vaka" With that word I pushed the magic out, nudging it fully into the circle. The light snapped into Trixie, who gave a light groan as she shook her head. I let out a small groan of my own, feeling antsy and spent. Emotionally I was on edge, but I couldn't help but smile as Silver looked at Trixie in awe. It was like a kid seeing a minor miracle. Though I guess in a world of established magic, something totally new WAS a miracle. I moved towards the door. "Silver, I'm gonna go and meet the crew. Maybe with me out of the room Trixie won't freak as much." Silver nodded while she ran off to check over Trixie, trying to gently rouse her and make sure she was fine. I walked out of the carriage, to go and find the library.