“Brought to you by the colourful mind of a zebra, thanks Hades.”
-Tom117z
“The lord of the dead is a Zebra?”
-Skijarama
“No lords here. Just someone who, for whatever reason, indulges our madness.”
-Tom117z
“Oh. Well, then. Thanks, Hades.”
-Skijarama
“Oh? Back again?” Discord Dos asked as he lounged in his red velvet chair, fireplace just off to the side while they all levitated in a blank void. He took a sip of his wine, the glass being consumed before the wine was chucked in the fire. “You poor fools.”
“I mean, wasn’t the self-fucking thing enough for you?” Discord, the non-dos variety, asked you strange people critically. “Unless you haven’t read it, at which point I congratulate you and your continued sanity.”
“But since you’re reading this that won’t last long,” Discord Dos pointed out.
“Unless you click off now,” Discord noted with a claw tapping his chin. “But we all know it won’t come to that,” He flashed you a toothy grin.
“Question is, what do we do today?” Discord Dos asked aloud as the chair, fireplace and posh dressing gown he was wearing all vanished in a flash. “Try taking over the world, perhaps?”
Discord gave a ‘pfft’. “Nah, we got stoned the last time. Leave it to the professionals, like Boulder.”
“Didn’t he just have a thing for the Butt of Sun?”
“Eh, details,” Discord dismissed. “And besides, if he can conquer that, the rest of the world shouldn’t be a problem… The sun is rather enormous.”
“I’m sure Tia would be flattered by that remark,” Discord Dos chuckled in amusement.
“Hush,” Discord pointed a finger at his double before cracking his knuckles. “Oh! I have an idea! Permission to grab somepony from your world?”
“Oh sure, go right ahead!”
“Why thank you, you roguishly handsome Spirit of Chaos you,” Discord said with a bow, before letting a smirk slide across his muzzle as he clicked his fingers.
A flash appeared between them, and suddenly there was a rather startled bug horse queen flailing her hooves erratically as she floated in the empty void.
“What in the hives is this!?” Chrysalis bellowed as she did an involuntary barrel roll.
“Ah, this one again?” Discord Dos mused with a hum. “Where did you take her from, it’s been a while in my place.”
“Just before she lost that game of chess to Twilight, actually,” Discord explained.
“I was not losing!”
“So you say, but we’ve seen it a thousand times so let’s move on,” Discord dismissed.
“What. Is Happening!?” Chrysalis demanded to know.
“Shush dear, your betters are scheming.”
“BETTERS!?”
Discord Dos hummed, ignoring the Changeling Queen. “Now, for mine…”
Another flash of light filled the room with a snap of Discord’s claws. When it faded, there was another Queen Chrysalis appeared floating next to the other one. Although she was noticeably less… intimidating. Very pastel and colorful and the like. No holes in her hooves and her horn was smooth. Plus she had lovely orange chest floof. “...What?” she asked in bewilderment. She looked around and then glared at the first Discord she spotted. “Oh. You. Can you put me back? Tone and I were about to-”
“Why do you think I grabbed you from there?” Discord asked with a wry grin.
“Cock blocker.”
“Thank you,” Discord smirked before looking back to Discord Dos. “Now, we need only one more thing~” he snapped his claws and a door appeared in the middle of the void. Discord then walked up and knocked on it.
It opened up and there was another Discord. “Oh? Hello, Discord.”
“Hello Três,” Discord smiled and looked over his shoulder. “Dos and I have a plan. Do you mind if we do a thing?”
“Will reality implode?”
“Oh, absolutely!”
“Let me get my popcorn, first!” Discord Três declared eagerly before a bag of popcorn appeared in his claws. “Alright, have at it!”
“Very well, let me just get them up to speed!”
There was a click of his talons… and no flash. However, some recognition did spark in the eyes of both Changeling Queens.
“YOU!” Chrysalis shouted at Chryssi, as that was the name of the ‘nice’ Chrysalis who is not the colourful one currently. “You’re the one who called me a cunt!”
Chryssi hadn’t initially recognised her counterpart… she did now. “Oh yes, you. You’re looking awfully… pastel these days.”
Chrysalis huffed. “Well, I didn’t have much of a choice…”
“I’m sure you didn’t,” Chryssi scoffed before green flames had her take the form of Rarity. “How very garish! Truly an abomination of fashion!”
“You are terrible and you should feel terrible, oh mother of the Tartarus spawn known as Twilight Sparkle!”
Chryssi flashed back to her normal rage-filled self. “THAT’S MY DAUGHTER-”
“Who wanted to ‘experiment’ with her alternate’s tongue,” Discord Dos interrupted, causing Chrysalis to burst into laughter.
Chryssi’s eye twitched, shutting up completely.
“Now, are you finished?” Discord Dos asked flatly. “Seriously, we’ve got more important stuff to laugh at then an encore of your universe imploding cat fight.”
“Did I miss something?” Discord Tres asked with a raised eyebrow.
Discord passed him a physical copy of ‘The Idiocyverse: a collection of really stupid short stories’ and smiled coyly. “Read up, my friend. Just remember it’s not canon.”
Discord Tres eyed the book, then took it with a shrug. “Okay.”
“Now, we’re off! And I have the perfect Saturday in mind!” Discord declared before he snapped his fingers and all of them vanished from the void in a flash of light. Except for another Chrysalis who now stood in the center of the void looking very confused with her muzzle covered in pink fluff.
“...What?”
“GASP!”
Chryssi blinked her eyes open and shook her head wildly to clear away the spots obscuring her vision. When she managed to open her eyes, she saw the inside of the Golden Oaks library first floor. Chrysalis was standing a little ways to her left, the three Discords were gone and in front of them was a… very excited looking pony. Except said pony was incredibly pink and enormously fluffy. Seriously, you could hide an entire pony in that much fluff.
Said fluffy pony was currently vibrating excitedly in place while looking on at them.
Chryssi turned to Chrysalis. “This is your fault.”
“Discord grabbed you first, therefore it is your fault,” Chrysalis snapped back before looking around. “...No, it’s Discord’s fault. Let’s find him and beat him up.”
“Which one?”
“Yes.”
“GASP!” The fluffy pony gasped again.
“Those two are certainly eager,” Discord Tres noted.
“We’ve messed with them a lot,” Discord Dos replied cheerfully. “But let’s see where this goes. I’m curious to see what’s going to happen.”
Chrysalis would have asked the fluffy pony a few questions, but all of her words were replaced by a confused squeak when said pony scooted up to her and bit down on her orange chest fur while purring like a cat.
“...Help, I think it’s trying to eat me.”
Chryssi rolled her eyes. “Oh please, she just likes your ridiculous chest fur. I mean really, how are you meant to look at all intimidating like that?”
Chrysalis glared at her other. “It’s good for snuggling with my, uh... A-and besides, aren’t you meant to be the ‘let’s make all the friends with the pwetty wittle ponies’ one?”
“They’re allies,” Chryssi rebutted. “Twilight is the one with all the friends. And I have a lot of respect for Princess Celestia, and for all she has done for my family.”
“Respect for that oversized cake disposal unit?” Chrysalis scoffed. “What is there to respect?”
“Well, I saw her decapitate a pony once, in the midst of battle. That was pretty badass.”
“MUFFLED GASP!” The Fluffy pony reiterated while still nibbling on Chrysalis’ chest fur. She then reached out for Chryssi in a pleading ‘come hug us’ gesture. The little purrs coming out of her and her pitifully sad eyes were just…
Chryssi tried to avert her eyes. “Stop giving me that- Shoo! Shoo I say!”
The purring gained a subtle, high-pitched whine.
Chryssi’s eye twitched. “Yes, you’re adorable. But please stop that… I mean it!”
“Now who’s completely un-intimidating,” Chrysalis taunted.
The creature seemed to recognise her words, and promptly turned around and nuzzled deep into her neck while blowing raspberries all the while.
“FUCK!” Chrysalis shrieked and backpedalled away, her eyes going wide and a blush appearing on her cheeks. “NO! DON’T DO THAT!” she touched a hoof to the spot and cringed. “It’s ticklish…” Tone Shift had had way too much fun when he found that one out.
The creature gave an excited gasp, hopping up and down before grabbing a feather from nowhere and leaping after Chrysalis.
“NO!” Chrysalis pleaded as she began to run for her life, around and around in circles as the pink menace gave chase. “Get it away from me!”
Chryssi was just laughing in sadistic amusement at the display. Until they passed her and the pink fluff grabbed her as it passed. “Oh shi-” she managed before being yanked off of her hooves and dragged along for the ride.
And so they ran and ran some more, the bright Chrysalis being chased by the fluffy pony thing with the more traditional looking Changeling Queen being dragged along by the hoof despite her adamant lack of consent.
Some would say it went on for many millennia… or at least that’s how the legends went.
The truth is it only lasted about a minute and a half before the door opened and everything stopped moving all at once.
“Fluffle Puff, Chrysalis, we’re ba-” Twilight Sparkle stopped dead in her tracks at the sight, and so too did both changelings and the pink monster now identified as a ‘Fluffle Puff’.
Chryssi’s eyes in particular widened as she spied the alicorn version of her own daughter staring at them with a smile frozen on her face, despite the bewilderment in her eyes. And even more confusing was the weird ape-like thing beside her with a shirt simply saying ‘jerk’ on it.
And then they both backed out, closing the door as they went.
All was still and silent for a moment.
Fluffle Puff licked Chrysalis on the hind leg.
“FUCK!” she shrieked and jumped into the air on her wings. “STOP! TOUCHING! ME!”
“Pbbt!”
“I’m already taken, you fiend!” Chrysalis protested. “And that pony certainly isn’t you!”
Fluffle Puff seemed to deflate with a small whine.
Chryssi, meanwhile, ignored that in favour of something else. “Pony? You’re taken by a… pony?”
Chrysalis frowned. “...Yes. I’m not ashamed of it.”
“But you’ve been insulting ponies since I’ve known you,” Chryssi pointed out. “Wait, is it that stallion you knocked out the last time you we met?”
“...Maybe?”
A predatory grin made its way onto Chryssi’s muzzle. “So… For all your blathering you’re in even deeper with the ponies than I am!”
Chrysalis snarled. “Am not! He’s just… you know… he saved my life more than once, even though he didn’t need to! He showed me kindness and acceptance where nothing else, even my own children, ever did!”
“And I’m sure your hive are very happy for you.”
“They… don’t know. They’re not even my hive anymore.”
“So not only are you with a pony, you’re not even a queen anymore?” Chryssi enquired in the sweetest voice she could fake. “How interesting… Now take back EVERYTHING you’ve said about my hive and my daughter!”
Fluffle Puff looked between the two with sad eyes. Then they lit up. “Gasp!” She then, while still holding onto Chryssi, jumped into the air and nommed down on Chrysalis’ tail.
“FUCK!” Chrysalis screeched out again while being dragged back down to the floor.
“Is she going to keep saying that?” Discord asked, trying to stifle a laugh.
Fluffle Puff then twisted on the way down and threw Chrysalis hard. The brightly colored bug-horse was expecting to slam into a wall of wood and books… but instead found herself colliding with a wall made of pillows. She opened her eyes and found she was in a small box made up of pillows… some of which were red and heart-shaped.
Chryssi came flying in after her, looking flustered and confused as all hell.
Then Fluffle Puff came in after them, closing a door that was also made of pillows behind her.
“Uh oh…” Chryssi groaned out, now very worried for their continued well-being.
“What is she doing with that tongue?” Chrysalis asked nervously. “She’s not going to lick us, is she? ...OH CRAP, SHE IS!”
“OH SHIT-”
And then Fluffle Puff exploded. And so did the rest of the universe.
“...What just happened?” Discord Três asked in confusion.
“That is not how I thought that was going to go,” Discord Dos admitted.
“So… uh, I’m with Tres. What happened?” Discord asked before Três could a second time.
“I… uh, Fluffle Puff?” Discord Dos feebly tried to explain. “Well one way or another Fluffle’s universe has put itself back together, Chryssi is continuing to lose at chess with Princess Bug-Twi and Chrysalis is… doing things with Tone Shift. So… all’s well that ends well?”
A loud cough caught the attention of the three Discords, and they all turned to see a rather disgruntled Chrysalis floating by them in the void with her hooves crossed in exasperation.
“What did you three do with my Fluffle!?”
“Hades, we blame you.”
- Tom117z
“And we thank you.”
- Skijarama
