The Ursa Minor Incident

by suplup

Rating: everyone
Tags: Adventure, Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Main 6, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 2442

When news of an Ursa Minor attack reaches Baltimare, a detective decides to investigate

When a Baltimare detective hears of an Ursa Minor attack on Ponyville, her interest is piqued. She leaves town to go investigate the details.

Published 2012-09-30 16:24:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-30 16:24:01 UTC

Prologos: The Prologue: The Introduction: The Pony and her 'Friend'

Location: Baltimare
Time: An indeterminate time ago

“Are you sure about this, Master?” a reverberating stallion-esque voice asked. His voice had an accent similar to those in Canterlot.

“Yes, yes I am,” A mare's voice replied, in a voice with no discernible accent.

A crunching sound was heard as the mare ate some cereal.

“But you have so many things going for you here! It would be foolish to give it all up for a miniscule chance at success!” the 'stallion-voice' exclaimed.

“I don’t care, if there's any chance that she’s in Ponyville, then I will take that chance! Even if she isn’t, I’m sure the citizens have heard of her and could give me an idea of where to look,” the mare responded, mouth full of Honey Bunches of Oats.

“Master, I doubt that a small town such as Ponyville has heard of her,” the 'stallion-voice' countered.

The voice did not belong to a stallion. In fact, it did not belong to a pony at all. He seemed to be more of a living shadow. Slightly taller than a pony, the ethereal being was almost completely black in color, his eyes being the sole bright area of his figure. They were a sinister shade of white, should such a thing be possible. Atop his head lay not a mane, like most beings of this world, but instead tendrils made up of Celestia-knows-what. His arms ended in long, sickle-like fingers which, while gave him the ability to hold objects, also gave him a look of killer. Fortunately for pegasi, he seemed to be tethered to the ground, but the tether point was surrounded by a fog of a less cohesive shadow substance.

“Maybe, maybe not, we will never know unless we try, now won’t we?” the mare questioned.

The mare, on the other hand, actually looked like a mare. She was a unicorn of average height, and had a coat of a light purple color. Her mane was up in a tail fashion, and was mainly light blue in color, but had orange-ish accents. Her cutie mark was odd, it seemed to be some sort of eye-shaped hieroglyph looking shape. However strange her cutie mark may be, her most striking feature was her eyes. She was, as most doctors would say, a heterochromic. Half of her eyes were a vibrant blue, the other, a bright yellow. The two colors blended seamlessly and seemed almost natural. Her eyes, combined with her strange cutie mark, gives her an enigmatic appearance, a mystery to all who behold it.

“Well, I guess we could give up a well-paying job, a nice apartment, and what little friends you have to go exploring through potentially dangerous wilderness in search of somepony who may not even be where we think she is. Or we could also check up on our sanity because somepony here is clearly insane!” the shadow shouted.

The pony pondered this for a moment. She took another spoonful of cereal.

“Hmm, I guess we should get you fitted for a straight jacket then,” the pony had a small smirk on her face.

“I still think this is a dumb idea.”

“Well then, as your Master, I command you to come with me to Ponyville,” the pony exclaimed with a haughty air, a wave of the hoof, and a fake accent, mocking the shadow.

With a ‘Hmph’ and a crossing of the arms, the shadow admitted defeat in this futile argument. The pony finished up her cereal and started packing her things.

***

The pony awoke the next morning and rolled out of bed. Using her magic, she tied up her mane quickly and went to the kitchen to eat more cereal. Upon reaching her pantry, she found out there was no cereal.

“Jacques!” she yelled into the empty apartment.

Nearby, shadows began coalescing into a shape that resembled the being from the other day.

“How may I serve you Master?” he questioned.

“Did I pack away the cereal?” ‘Master’ asked.

“I believe you ate all of it yesterday,” Jacques replied.

“I did? Oh well, I’ll just get something on the way there,” the pony casually said as she walked out of the door.

“Where are you going?!” Jacques called out as he followed his master outside, his tether point always staying somewhat beneath him.

“To resign, of course. How can I move to Ponyville if I’m employed in Baltimare?”

The pair walked throughout the big city, the pony grabbing something to eat at a local restaurant. They both arrived, after navigating through the throngs of citizens, at the police station.

“Detective Enigma reporting for resignation!” the pony named Enigma shouted in the near-empty reception area, saluting in the process.

“What?! You’re leaving?!” the receptionist yelled, clearly surprised at Enigma’s declaration.

“Yup,” Enigma casually said, and walked down to the chief’s office. She opened the door to her boss’s office and yelled, “I’m leaving this establishment of employment to adventure into the wild blue yonder in search of Ponyville!” in a booming voice.

“You’re leaving?! But I was just about to give you a promotion!” her boss yelled in response.

“A promotion? Cool! Bye!” Enigma exclaimed in her booming voice, and walked out the door with her head and hoof held high in triumph.

The receptionist poked her head through the door.

“Why did you hire her? She’s so weird!” she said.

“I know, but she was the best detective I’ve ever seen. She said she was going to Ponyville, do we have a department there?” the boss sighed.

“No, it's too small a town for it to be profitable,” the receptionist replied.

“Then why is she going there? She has no friends, and her parents live here!”

“I wouldn’t know, she’s too weird to talk to.”

The boss sighed and dug out his dusty ‘Help Wanted’ sign, hung it in the front window, and walked back in his office, head held in shame.

***

“You were awfully quiet back there,” Enigma pointed out to Jacques as they walked back to her apartment.

“They don’t know I exist, and it would have been pointless anyway,” Jacques clarified. After a bit of pondering, he queried, “What do you plan to do once you arrive in Ponyville?”

Enigma stopped and thought about this, as she had yet to. “Well, I’ll stop by town hall, see if I can’t get somewhere to stay and to officially be a citizen. But after that, I think I’ll ask around and see if anyone knows where she is.”

“And if they don’t?”

“Well, they we just play it by ear.”

Once they arrived at Enigma’s apartment, they gathered up all of her things, which were piled into a corner, and went upstairs to the landlord’s apartment. Knocking on the door, Enigma heard something along the lines of muffled yelling, and took that as permission to enter.

“Bye!” she yelled out into the apartment.

“Get out of here!” the landlord yelled from somewhere deep within the depths of his land. Enigma promptly left.

“Well, that was easier than expected,” she noted.

“I’m sure he didn’t mean it that way,” Jacques said hesitantly.

“Oh well, to Ponyville!” Enigma yelled as she charged down the stairs and into the wild blue yonder.

“Ok then, how may I assist you?” the landlord asked as he poked his head out of the door to see . . . nothing.

A ways away, at the outskirts of Baltimare, Enigma tipped her hat to her hometown. She really wouldn’t miss it much, but she felt a proper farewell was needed. And with that, she turned around and started down the path to Ponyville.

A/N What should I put here? Hmm, this is my first serious story, let me know what you think.

The First Chapter: An Indeterminate Number of Hours Remain

Location: The Everfree Forest
Time: Unknown

Enigma had been walking through this forest for quite some time now. In retrospect, walking to Ponyville was probably not such a good idea. There was, of course, a train that lead there. Ponyville was in the dead-center of Equestria for Celestia's sake! However, the allure of adventure was not something to simply be ignored. Plus, it wasn't that hard. There was a river that lead from Ponyville to Horseshoe Bay in Baltimare, all Enigma had to do was follow the river.

The Everfree Forest had other plans.

Being the Everfree, it was highly unpredictable. While it is true that the river did not suddenly realign itself with say, Vanhoover, simply walking through the Forest with no known destination was asking for trouble. At present, trouble was certainly presenting itself.

"Jacques!" Enigma cried into the darkness. At her call, shadows formed together into the ethereal being known as Jacques.

"You called, Master?"

"Indeed, I am suffering dearly from a plague known as hunger. Fetch me sustenance."

Jacques looked like he raised an eyebrow. "Umm, you are hungry, so you want me to find you food. I bring your attention to the fact that we are in the middle of a seemingly endless forest with no sentient beings anywhere remotely near us."

"Interesting, but I still hunger."

Jacques slammed his face into his palm. So hard, his palm went through his face. "Sweet Celestia that hurts!" he screamed.

Assuming a posh, most-definitely-not-mocking-any-shadow-creature's accent, Enigma voiced her desire for tea and crumpets.

"Is it safe to assume you're mocking me?" Jacques was no fool. The Master had mocked him many a times before, it is no different here.

Actually it was different here. Here is in a forest, usually there is something nearby to distract the Master from mocking him, but no such thing exists at the moment. Jacques sighed.

"What flavor of tea would you like, Master?" he asked, complying. Enigma looked at him funny.

"Is there something wrong?" He looked around for anything that might be suspicious, but found nothing. He looked to his Master for clarification.

"You never do what I tell you to this quickly!" she replied, shocked at his servitude. "Usually you try to distract me."

Oh dear, she's caught onto me. Jacques thought. "Well, I am not in the mood to argue at the moment, it's been a long walk."

Enigma eyed him warily. Returning to the more pressing problem of needing edibles, she thought over which specific tea she wanted, but was coming up blank. "What flavor do you suggest?"

"As if I can taste tea, let alone drink it."

"Regardless, you must know of some types of tea for me to drink."

"Well, there is black tea, raspberry green tea, chamomile tea, and that's all I can recall at the moment."

Enigma thought over her plentiful options. "I'll have raspberry green tea."

"Very well, let me just conjure up some raspberry, some green, and some tea." Jacques quipped sarcastically.

"You can do that?! Splendid!" Enigma responded back.

Jacques' palm found itself passing painfully through his face again.

"And which is your favorite crumpet?" he queried, trying to maintain his sanity. Long walks with the Master were not all that healthy.

"I'm not sure. But if I had to pick a favorite, mine would be chocolate." Hearing a sigh, Enigma turned to look at Jacques.

"Why dear Jacques, your arm seems to have skewered through your face."

***

A time later, Enigma saw light. Not light from the few openings in the canopy, which she could count on her hooves, but a bright light in front of her.

"Hey Jacques, is this the end?"

Jacques coalesced next to her.

"Why I believe it is, would you like to be decapitated? Or should I just remove your soul?"

"That's a cool story. Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand Hoooooooooooooooooooooo!" Enigma screamed out, reared up, and charged towards the opening.

She emerged from the forest and saw that next to her was a thatched cottage. Surrounding it was a flock of birds and various other animals fleeing for their life, after hearing Enigma's exclamation. Enigma was not worried however, she had found a new civilization! Who knows what interesting ponies could live here?

"I believe we have arrived in Ponyville," Jacques mentioned as he looked around.

Well there goes that theory.

Anyway, Enigma, undeterred, strode up to the cottage confidently, assured in her fantasy of new civilization. She knocked on the front door, and heard a very soft squeak.

The door opened, and Enigma could faintly see the colors yellow and pink.

"Hi!" she said excitedly. The door quickly slammed closed. "Bye!"

"What could you have possible done to scare that pony?" Jacques asked, quite shocked.

"I dunno. Let's go see what else there is!" With that, Enigma walked away from the cottage and down the path.

***

After some time, Jacques and Enigma arrived in Ponyville proper, and it was fairly lively, as it was midday.

"I told you we were in Ponyville," Jacques reminded Enigma.

"Well you never know when you could come across a lost civilization, frozen in time, untouched for millennia."

*Le gasp!*

In front of the Master/Servant pair was a pink pony with a pink mane and not pink eyes who was currently floating in air, stuck in a gasping position. Enigma blinked and the pink pony was gone. Shortly after that, a grey pegasus with a blonde mane and a bubble cutie mark flew down to her, handed her an envelope, and flew away.

"Umm, what? How could I possibly have mail the second I get here?"

"Perhaps your landlord forwarded it here."

"They don't even know who I am!"

"Well, you said we should go to city hall, so I suggest we go there first."

"I will, but after I open my letter." Enigma was giddy. She had mail. She's never had much mail before, unless you count spam. She got a lot of spam.

The envelope contained an invitation to a 'Welcome Enigma and Jacques to Ponyville!' Party.

"Umm, what?" Enigma was utterly blown away at how someone had not only seen Jacques, but also somehow magically knew his name. No one has even seen Jacques before.

"Let me see that! What is it?" As Jacques read the card, his eyes widened. "Who sent this?! How do they know who I am?! They must be after me. Whoever did this shall know the fury of ten thousand suns! I will rip their heart out from their chest!"

Jacques was screaming extremely loudly, but no one heard him. In fact, no one was even remotely nearby. Both Enigma and Jacques were very worried. In the distance, they heard a loud 'Boom!' noise, like a cannon firing.