“And then Rainbow Dash swooped down. Zoommmmm!” Pinkie said as she excitedly bounced around. “And without compromising any speed, she shot her hooves out and started beating off the stallions flying beside her.”

“Uh huh,” affirmed Twilight disinterestedly. She’d hoped to simply find a quiet spot to read while her anal vibrator did its thing. However, Pinkie’s exuberant story telling was proving a bit of an annoyance. It might have been more arousing, had this not been the fourth time she’d heard it.

“And then they all came at once, and jizz was spraying woo, woo, woo, woo,” Pinkie chirped, sounding a bit like a siren as she gestured frantically in all directions. “And then there was the big finish, and I was all WOOO!” She threw herself up and landed on her back, leaving her half erect cock to flop against her belly.

Coincidence of all coincidences, Rainbow Dash happened to pick that very moment to soar above. Without even saying a proper goodbye, Pinkie pulled herself up and started pronking off, following the speedster’s trail.

Twilight gave a sigh of relief, turned the page in her book, and turned the setting on her vibrator up a notch. Finally she’d be able to relax. As good a friend and lay as Pinkie was, the mare could really be exhausting sometimes.

***

“Hey, Rainbow Dash!”

The mare in question looked down, smirking in anticipation of seeing one of her adoring fans. Instead, she scowled at the sight of Pinkie following in her shadow. “Not again,” she grumbled quietly and picked up speed.

In response, Pinkie started trotting faster to keep pace. “Uh, Rainbow Dash.”

“Not now, Pinkie Pie. I’m busy,” the cyan mare replied distractedly and doubled her speed.

Somehow, Pinkie was able to keep up with the speedster, seemingly without putting any effort into her trot. “But-but Rainbow Dash!”

“I said, not now!” shouted Rainbow, going about 70% her top speed and not looking where she was going. The wind was rushing past, rippling over her fur and feathers in a way that almost felt like a massage. Part of the reason why Rainbow, or any pegasus, liked to fly fast was in pursuit of this feeling. It wasn’t as good as feeling a tongue in her pussy, or a cock in her ass, or an ass on her cock, but it was still a wonderfully satisfying feeling. Rainbow beat her wings a few more times, trying to maintain a steady speed as she lost herself in the feeling. Pinkie sounded like she was saying something, but that just drove Rainbow to tune her out even more as she flapped again. Nothing was going to distract her from this-

*Boing*

Rainbow bounced harmlessly off the sudden obstacle in her path. Even so, the shock of it still caught her off guard. Pinkie was there, clinging to the side of a cliff the speedster had almost crashed into. Her poofy tail was bouncing in the wind after absorbing the impact of the cyan mare’s crash. Rainbow snapped back to face where she’d seen the pink mare last, traced the path the pink ponker would have most likely taken to scale the cliff, crunched some quick numbers, and suffered a momentary mental blue screen.

“I was just trying to tell you to watch out for the cliff,” Pinkie explained casually as her tail continued to bounce and wave like it had a will of its own.

“How’d you get up here so fast!?”

“Easy, silly. I climbed.”

Rainbow face-hoofed. “Serves me right for asking,” she grumbled. She really wasn’t in the mood to deal with the pink one at the moment. However, given that said pink one had just saved her from what would have been a pretty nasty crash, she decided she at least owed her fuck buddy an ear. “Okay fine. What was it you wanted?”

Pinkie grinned from ear-to-ear. “Oh, well, I was just telling Twilight about this awesome trick you did, like, two months, four days, and six hours ago.”

Rainbow smiled cautiously. She liked when other ponies talked about her, so any conversation involving her deserved at least a little attention.

“It was the one where you beat off all those stallions at once. Anyway, it got me thinking that the two of us should go and pull some pranks!”

Rainbow blinked. “Okaaay,” she replied uncertainly, deciding it best not to ask how Pinkie’s logic worked. “What exactly did you have in mind?”

Pinkie grinned and devilishly rubbed her hooves together.

***

“This one. And this one. OH! Can’t forget about this one,” Pinkie listed off. Her head was shoved under her bed, ass held high, and she’d been tossing magazine after magazine Rainbow’s way for about ten whole minutes. “Uh… maybe not this one.”

“Is all of this really necessary?” Rainbow strained to ask. The growing weight in her hooves was starting to make it difficult to keep up. She could barely even give Pinkie’s ass the ogling it deserved.

“Absolutely positootly. Hehe. Toot.” And she tossed another four magazines at Rainbow.

“And seriously. What’s with all the porn mags?” Rainbow asked. “I mean, don’t get me wrong. I like to take the day off and flick it like any red-blooded Equestrian, but you’ve got more porn books than a colt going through puberty.”

“While technically true, that’s hardly an impressive comparison,” Pinkie replied.

“What do ya mean?”

“Well, if we’re just talking about Ponyville, then I’ve only got the seventeeth largest porn collection in town. None of the ponies ahead of me are colts going through puberty, or fillies for that matter. It’s all folks who’ve pretty much figured out what they like and have way too much time on their hooves, hands, and various other appendages. By contrast, foals going through puberty usually take hand-me-downs, borrow from their parents and older siblings, or simply share between a group of close friends as they try to make sense of the warzone that is their hormonal young bodies.”

Rainbow blinked in dumbfounded awe of Pinkie’s knowledge of Ponyville and its citizenry. Everypony knew the mare was a top notch stalker who kept records on everyone and everything around for a ten mile radius, but it was quite another to hear her actually demonstrate this encyclopedic knowledge. Even so, Rainbow felt a question coming on, and knew she’d regret it before the words even touched her lips. “Who’s got the biggest.”

“Gummy,” Pinkie replied, not missing a beat.

Rainbow blinked again. “Your pet alligator?”

“Uh huh. Why do you ask?”

“Uh…” Rainbow also wanted to ask where she ranked in Pinkie’s list, but reasoned that the answer would only result in another mental blue screen.

“If it’s because you want to borrow some of his books, then don’t bother. He guards those things like a dragon guards his hoard. Come to think of it, I’ve always wondered if the little guy had a little dragon in him.”

“Invite Spike over and maybe he will,” Rainbow offered with a snicker.

“Ha! Good one. And also topical. We’re actually going to sneak into Twilight’s library and replace all of Spike’s books with these.”

Rainbow furrowed her brow. “Uh, why?”

Pinkie finally pulled her head out from under the bed and showed Rainbow the cover of the last magazine. It was an issue of Play-Filly and had a picture of an especially burly unicorn stallion holding down a little earth colt and gearing up for penetration.

“I don’t get it,” Rainbow said, even as she studied the look of nervous yet anticipatory fear on the little colt’s face. It was making her cock twitch just a little, but that was precisely the problem. “We’re just replacing porn with more porn. How is that a prank?”

“You’ll seeeee,” Pinkie sang.

5 Minutes Later

“Noooooooo!”

Twilight ran up to her and Spike’s shared sleeping loft. “Spike! What is it? Did you slam the toilet seat down on your thing again?”

“M-my treasures,” he whimpered pitifully. “They’ve been replaced with filthy yaoi magazines!”

“… do what now?”

Pinkie and Rainbow were standing just below the window leading to Spike and Twilight’s sleeping loft, barely able to restrain their laughter. Next to them stood a small hill of the magazines they’d ‘borrowed’ from the little drake.

“Oh wow,” Twilight gasped. “This is… Can I borrow this one?”

“It buuuurns!” proclaimed Spike as he pressed his claws fiercely over his eyes.

“Bwahahahaha!” Rainbow chortled, tossing and turning as her sides ached. “Wow, Pinkie. That was way funnier than I thought it’d be.”

“I know, right,” Pinkie giggle-snorted. “I told you Spike has this weird obsession with being straight. This’ll teach him for having different sexual preferences than me, even if those preferences don’t actually inconvenience me, hinder the pair of us from fucking or hanging out, or in any other way effect my life!” There was such fervor in her voice, as though she believed she were fighting for a righteous cause.

Rainbow’s chuckling slowly died down as she wiped several tears from her eyes. That speech had been as funny as it was moving. “Actually, you didn’t tell me that part.”

“I didn’t?”

“Nah, but it was funny anyways.” Rainbow gave out one last belly laugh before pulling herself back up.

“Oh well. I guess that’s what’s important. Pranks are just another way to have harmless fun with your friends, and I’m all about fun!”

“You know Pinkie Pie, you’re not as annoying as I thought,” Rainbow said in the most respectful way possible. “You wanna hang out?”

“Fuck yeah, I do!”

***

One stop at the toy store and pharmacist later, and the pair were ready for their reign of ‘harmless’ terror.

First off, they stopped by Rarity’s boutique and left a lovely bouquet of flowers on her doorstep. They rang the bell and ran off to hide and watch from the bushes. When Rarity poked her head out, her eyes immediately zeroed in on the card that had been left atop the bouquet. She read ‘From your secret admirer’ written in an elegant cursive, just the way Pinkie knew she loved. However, Rarity had been so taken by the letter that she didn’t bother to perform a simple scan to test for any traps, just like Pinkie knew she would. Not even a minute later, Rarity became woozy and lost her hoofing, falling flat to the ground.

“Hehe,” Rainbow giggled. It felt cathartic to finally nock Rarity out for a change. Give her a taste of her own medicine. “Now what?”

Pinkie, as the strong earth pony, hoisted Rarity onto her back and trotted wordlessly off to Fluttershy’s cottage. Rainbow followed close behind, stealing frequent glances at the pink ponker’s plush posterior. Upon arrival, Pinkie detoured away from the actual cottage and made for the dog pins. Then, without a second thought, she tossed the unconscious mare inside. The dogs, while much more well behaved, could not ignore when fresh meat was so willingly offered.

“Is, uh, that okay?” Rainbow asked as the dogs started circling. “I mean… they’re dogs.”

“Yepperoony,” Pinkie chirped as she watched the first dog begin sniffing Rarity’s mane. “Big, husky, horny dogs. Not to be confused with the common corny dog,” she said authoritatively. “But seriously, don’t confuse the two. I couldn’t walk straight for a week after that incident.”

“Know the feeling,” Rainbow agreed sagely before turning her nervous attention back on Rarity.

“Oh relax,” Pinkie assured. “Fluttershy might seem meek, but she’s a bonified expert when it comes to training animals. These guys might be super horny, but they know better than to do any lasting damage; at least not without Fluttershy’s express say so.”

“Actually,” Rainbow continued, “I was wondering what they were going to do to her mane. You know how protective she is about her do” She motioned to where one of the dogs had just dropped a big lob of drool onto her quaffed tail. “I was also wondering what she’d do to us once she learned we were responsible for messing up what I’m guessing was at least a couple hours work in front of the mirror.”

“Uh huh. That’s… a very good point,” Pinkie said evenly, already backing away. “We should probably be… anywhere but here.”

“Way ahead of ya, sister!” called Rainbow as she zipped off back to Ponyville, Pinkie’s tail in her teeth as the pink ponker was dragged along.

Next on the list was Twilight. Pinkie’s secret surveillance showed that Spike and Twilight had just finished moving Spike’s magazines back upstairs, leaving Twilight to sort through the pile of yaoi. In her search, she came upon something she assumed must have been slipped into the prank by accident. It was a full body poster she was amazed wasn’t’ already in her private collection. The earth mare was an absolutely scrumptious shade of green with cute braids in her mane and tail, and a smoldering come-hither stare that made Twilight fall from her sheath as moisture dripped down her thighs.

“Oh, mamma,” she gasped.

“What is it?” Spike called from upstairs.

“Just look at her,” Twilight demanded, showing off the poster. “I found it mixed in with the yaoi. Quick, find someplace we can pin this up! Maybe on the ceiling? I think I want to fall asleep staring into this mare’s eyes for the rest of my life,” she swooned, tenderly hugging the poster to herself.

“Uh… Twi.”

“Yeah, Spike?”

“You read the name on the poster?”

“Huh? Well no. I guess I-” Twilight’s voice caught in her throat. The name at the bottom of the poster read Granny Smith and it was dated over eighty years ago. It took Twilight’s brain a full 120 seconds to complete a full reboot. The mare in the poster hadn’t actually changed, but the new input in Twilight’s brain made it hard to realize that. What once was firm had started to sag. Tight was overlapped with enough wrinkles to lose spare change in. The super imposed mental image of Granny Smith certainly looked good for her age, whatever that was, but book horse still found herself accosted by so many conflicting emotions. “Uh, Spike.”

“Yeah, Twi?”

“Is this what they call a why-boner?” she asked, indicating how her erection had suddenly gone half-mast.

“I think so, Twi,” Spike replied sagely, imparting upon her his male wisdom. “So, you still gonna fap?”

Outside the library, the sound of two mares laughing uproariously could be heard.

“Spike.”

“Yeah, Twi?”

She whispered in a voice so soft that even he could barely hear. “Enemies are near. Fetch me the cheese grater for their soft parts.”

The laughter was suddenly cut short, followed by the sound of two mares screaming as they ran away.

“Spike.”

“Find the listening device?” he asked, anticipating the order.

“That’s my boy.”

Spike saluted and proceeded with his task.

Later, after Pinkie and Rainbow had run far enough to feel safe, they once more burst out laughing and decided they might as well ride this train to the end of the track.

Up next was Apple Jack. The orange hayseed mare was just about to hitch herself up to her wagon when she spotted her favorite vibrator sitting on a nearby barrel. After spending so much time with Twilight, the country mare had also taken a fondness to performing her daily activities with a vibrator inside her. Picking up the long, bright red phallus and holding it up to the light of the sun, it didn’t take the mare long to decide that today she was in the mood for a little anal stimulation and quickly fetched the lube.

“Huh,” she said to herself as she slowly inserted the phallus into her back door.

“What’s the matter, sis?”

“Oh, hey Apple Bloom,” AJ greeted distractedly as she finished inserting the toy. “Were you playin’ with mah favorite vibrator without askin’ me again?”

“No,” Bloom denied. “Not in the last week, anyway. Why?”

AJ frowned and looked back at her supple behind, flexing her anal muscles around the toy. Something about the toy’s texture just felt off, though she couldn’t put her hoof on exactly why. “Eh. Probably nothin’. Now hurry ‘n’ finish that homework. The sooner ya get done, the sooner ya’ll can help me with the chores,” she said matter-of-factly as she hitched herself up to the wagon and marched out of the barn.

Bloom rolled her eyes at her sister’s enthusiasm. She then turned to the barrel where she’d seen AJ retrieve the vibrator. “Don’t you usually keep that one in yer dresser drawer, second on the right?”

“And you would know that how?” AJ replied in suspicion.

“No reason,” Bloom said, unable to meet her sister in the eye. “Jus’ strange it’d be out here is all.”

AJ paid her sister no mind and continued with her apple bucking. The way the vibrator twisted inside her as she reared up and bucked each tree had the most delightful tickle, or maybe ‘spark’ would have been a better word. She likened it to how Pinkie had once described the feelings one experienced while taking recreational drugs, pleasantly stimulating while not being overly distracting. The sensations caused her to stumble once or twice, but there was no need for alarm. The toy felt as good as ever, but the hayseed mare just couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. If only she could put her hoof on it.

“AJ! AJ! AJ!” called Bloom in a panic as she charged towards her sister.

“Bloom! What’s wrong?” AJ asked, now in full ‘who wants to die’ mode from seeing a member of her family in such distress. No pony threatened her family and got away with it! She quickly surveyed the immediate area. Anything out of the ordinary was a target in need of smashing, and not in the fun way. She searched and surveyed and searched some more, but there was nothing. No unfamiliar shadows, strange prints in the ground, not even an apple out of place. Still hi on adrenaline, she turned to her cute sister to better understand the nature of this danger. “Somethin’ happen ta Granny? Where’s Big Mac?”

“B-behind.”

AJ spun around, fearful that the enemy had snuck up behind her, but there was nothing. She then turned back to AB, eyes dangerously narrowed. Youngins getting into trouble for the sake of trouble was one thing, but Bloom knew better than to carelessly flip her sister’s switch like this. “What the hell? Apple Bloom,” she said in warning. “This had better not be another-”

“Not that,” she countered and pointed up at AJ. “Yours!”

Confused, AJ followed where her little sister had pointed and – “Great googamooga!” she exclaimed at the sight. “What happened ta mah ass!?” Apple Jack’s pert apple bottom, her pride and joy, the product of years of honest, back breaking labor, and unquestionably her best feature… had swollen to cartoonish proportions. No, her butt had not gotten bigger so that each cheek was roughly the size of a watermelon like Molestia’s. That she could have dealt with. Rather, her backside had ballooned out into a singular mass, free of its toned features or luscious curvature. It was now little more than how some dumb teenager just coming into puberty might draw somepony they had mixed feelings about.

With the calm rationale and serene intellect befitting a startled horse, Apple Jack began running in circles around a nearby tree, screaming and desperately trying to flee the source of the disturbance… her own butt. “Mah aaaaaaaaaass!”

Apple Bloom was torn. On the one hoof, her sister was in obvious distress and the sacrilegious desecration of that beloved booty was a crime against Equestria and all it stood for. On the other hoof, the way her sister’s back legs were waddling made it very hard to for the younger sibling keep from falling over and bursting out laughing. On the third hoof… What was that thing coming out of AJ’s butt? “Sis!” Bloom called out as authoritatively as a young blank flank could manage.

AJ came to a skidding halt, the momentum of her enlarged ass hitting her in the back and making her guts clench in shame. Thoughts of the countless hours, days, and even months of hard labor it would take to regain her figure poured through her mind, all while she imagined the citizens of Ponyville looking upon her with disdain for the sinful mismanagement of such a divine gift. However, upon seeing how Bloom was still trying to get her attention, AJ shook her head free of such distractions. After all, she was an Apple, and Apples were problem solvers. “What is it, sis?”

Bloom pointed once more to AJ’s posterior. “Is… is that a balloon growin’ out o’ yer butt?”

Blinking, AJ craned her head back and narrowed her eyes to see what her little sister was talking about. However, her view was obstructed by the further expansion of her ass. “What the hey?” As if in answer, AJ’s backside grew even more, expanding to the point where she was afraid she’d tip over. However, collision with the ground never came, for she was suffered to endure a worse fate. Her hind hooves… were leaving the ground as her ass lifted higher and higher into the air. Then her front hooves left the sacred domain of the earth ponies as well. She was sent adrift, hooves scrambling in desperation for something to grab.

“AJ!” Bloom cried as her sister rose into the air, ass first. “Don’t leave me!”

“Ahhhhhhhh!”

Elsewhere, hiding amidst the orchard as they watched, Rainbow and Pinkie were doing everything they could to suppress their guffaws.

“How much gas was in that balloon anyway?” Rainbow stammered to ask through her chuckles.

“Eh. About ten minutes or so,” Pinkie replied nonchalantly as she used her front hooves to fiddle with her custom controller while her hind hooves were stroking her shaft to hold it at full attention. “Like any balloon, the gas’ll leak out in a little bit and she’ll gently fall back to the ground.”

“Did you see the look on her face?” Rainbow exclaimed as she fell over laughing. “Freaked right the fuck out!”

“YOU!!!” came the thunderous voice of looming death, also known as AJ. The orange mare had figured out how to use her tail as a form of propeller. The motions were awkward, jerky, and made her butt wobble in a way she might otherwise had been proud of, but right now she had other priorities. “Ya’ll did this!” She pointed back at her butt. “Ya’ll ruined mah perfect-”

“It’s only ten more minutes,” Pinkie corrected nonchalantly.

“… wat?”

“Yeah. The gas in that fake dildo only has enough potency for,” she checked her watch, “another nine minutes and fourteen seconds. Now thirteen seconds. Twelve. Eleven.”

“Ah get it!” AJ cut in, now looking more thoughtful as she calmed down and regarded her ass once more. “So this was all jus’ a prank?”

“Yaperoony!” chirped Pinkie, even as Rainbow was getting ready to snatch up the pink ponker and fly to escape.

After another moment’s thought, AJ hung her head low and gave a defeated sigh. “Well played, Pinkie. Well played.”

Pinkie just beamed from ear to ear, glad to see AJ was being a good sport about this, as she usually was. “‘Till next time,” she said with a salute before merrily trotting off.

Later still, Rainbow was a quiver with anticipation with their next prank, mostly because she’d come up with it herself. Lots of ponies like to hold picnics by the lake this time of day, so she’d cobbled together some old rags into a makeshift turtle to try and get somepony’s attention. She would watch from the telescope positioned at the other end of the lake until their victim got into place, and then give the signal to Pinkie to squeeze the trigger and unleash a full spray of jizz into the face of whoever happened to be too close. It was the perfect crime.

“Is somepony over there?” Pinkie excitedly asked around her squeaky mouthful. She started dancing in place, half erect with anticipation at the thought of surprising somepony with a combination of both her and Rainbow’s jizz to the face. “Who are we gonna squirt? Who are we gonna squirt?”

“He-he-he,” Rainbow laughed sadistically. “Fluttershy.”

“What?” Pinkie immediately spit the squeeze trigger from her mouth. “No-no-no-no. We can’t prank Fluttershy. She’s so sensitive it’ll hurt her feelings, even our most harmless pranks. Besides, her mane’s too pretty to get jizz all stuck in there.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Rainbow conceded. Being yellow quiet’s oldest friend, she more than anyone should have known this was a bad idea from the start, especially given Fluttershy’s particular aversion to facials. Whenever she gave oral, you either finished in the mouth, or not at all. She pulled back from the telescope and blew a defeated raspberry. “We need another victim who’s made of tougher-what’s so funny?” Rainbow asked after spying the way Pinkie was biting her lower lip.

“My, my, Rainbow Dash,” Pinkie sang. “Don’t you think things… smell a little off?”

Furrowing her brow in puzzlement, Rainbow took a sniff and found the air did reek of sexual fluids far more than seemed appropriate. Most places smelled like sex to some degree, but the environment’s natural absorption of sexual leavings meant that the smell was never this strong, unless… Rainbow’s eyes narrowed and she rushed forward, knocking the telescope aside as she lowered her face to stare at her own reflection.

Pinkie’s reflection came up alongside Rainbows as the pink one giggle-snorted with reckless abandon, pointing at the outline of fresh cum that now encircled Rainbow’s eye. Rainbow, after leaning down for a closer look, pulled back and gave an appreciative smile. “Ha-ha-ha. Good one, Pinkie.” She reached out her hoof in offering of a bump.

Pinkie tried bumping her hoof back, but Rainbow dodged. Pinkie tried again, but Rainbow kept dodging. Eventually both mares broke down into giggles at their own silliness.

Author's Note

Pinkie and Rainbow decide to have a different sort of fun with their friends. Sex based pranks were a little challenging to think up, but I’d like to thank Alphamon_Ouryuken for giving a lot of the base ideas that I expanded on.

I’m still getting a handle on the tone and culture of this world, sort of going off the old Molestia comic on Tumblr where bad behavior is much more tolerated. The characters still have their limits, but their priorities are way skewed from either canon or anything we would consider normal. In Rarity’s case, she’s more likely to be upset about dog jizz in her mane – which is way worse than pony jizz – as opposed to the gang rape.

Next time the episode will continue as our favorite speedster meets up with an old… acquaintance.