What If...? Screwball Had A Harley Quinn Complex

by No1MporXant

Rating: everyone
Tags: Romance, Original Character, Spike, Comedy, Random, Discord, Screwball, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 22272

When Ponyville's resident Psychotherapist Dr. Scarabew Ballentine has an encounter with Discord, will she be able to convince him to stop spreading Eternal Chaos, or will he drive her completely insane, or will something totally unexpected happen?

Dr. Scarabew Ballentine(Ponyville's resident Psychotherapist) has time & time again proven to most likely be the best Mental-Health Professional in all of Equestria, but after Discord defeats the Mane 6 in the Hedge Maze, then goes to turn Ponyville into the Chaos Capital of the World, he'll really put her skills to the test, can she solve Discord's problems & convince him to not bring all of Equestria into Eternal Chaos, or will she just end up becoming another one of his chaotic victims, or will something else completely unexpected happen between these two?

As you can tell by the title this story is a "What if..?", meaning that it takes place in an Alternate Reality, so it is Not Canonical with any other story that I or Anyone Else has already created.

P.S. I take no credit for the Cover Art, it rightfully belongs to Captain-Waterfire, I just liked it So much that I simply Had to use it for this story.

Published 2018-03-28 21:00:06 UTC
Last updated 2018-03-28 21:00:06 UTC

The Life and Times of Dr. Scarabew Ballentine

Somewhere in Ponyville there was a small building serving as a doctor's office, inside was the office of the only doctor who used this building, the labels by the door read: Dr. Scarabew Ballentine(pronounced Sc-air-ah-b-U = like Scarab with a U at the end, Ball-N-tyne = like Valentine but with Ball instead of Val), below her name was a long list of her various credentials suggesting that she was a greatly skilled and experienced Psychiatrist/Psychotherapist among other similar Mental Health Professionals.

Just then the door to her office opened and one of her patients, a Commonly Used Background Pony came out of her office saying "I can't thank you enough Doc, you really helped me out, I feel so much better now, again thank you so much".

Then we look inside the office to find an Earth Pony Mare with the same body figure as the average Mare, apparently she's somewhere in her 30's, with a Light Beige colored coat, a long Dark Reddish mane & tail both styled up in a bun, Light Green normal looking eyes, a Cutie Mark depicting a Fountain Pen & a Clipboard with Paper that has an Ink Blot on it, and wearing a Light Gray cardigan sweater with large Navy colored buttons, with a pair of half-cut reading glasses held to her neck by a long thin chain, with a very stoic expression on her face, this Mare was Dr. Scarabew Ballentine.

Who was currently writing down some stuff on her clipboard, then she looks towards her patient and speaks in a low, monotone, sort of dull & emotionless sounding voice that could rival that of Maud Pie, kind of sounds like Tara Strong's Teen Titans' Raven but without the Raspy-ness and says "Yes, well if you ever need my help with anything else, just call me and we'll schedule another appointment".

The patient replies with "I certainly will, you truly are the best at what you do Doc", then closes the door as said patient leaves.

With her final appointment of the day completed, Dr. Ballentine starts to close up shop, making sure that everything is in it's proper place & ready for her to come back tomorrow.

Looking around her office we see plenty of material needed for her line of work, she had a desk with a wheeled chair behind it, her desk neat, tidy, and well organized with everything exactly where she needed them to be, there was also a big comfortable chair for her to sit at to talk to her patients, and a long, large, comfortable therapy couch for said patients to sit or lay down on, a couple of filing cabinets to hold all of the records & files on all of her patients among other things, and all of the walls were decorated with plaques displaying her many licenses, doctorates, degrees, awards for her work, and a large bookshelf showing off many trophies along with many books, a few pictures & a potted plant, it was obvious how well accomplished she was in her line of work.

After Dr. Ballentine made one final routine check on her office, she grabbed her purse, then walked out of the office, then turned around to lock the door to her office, walking through her waiting room, then walked outside, turning around to lock-up the building until she would return in the morning, then she starts her routine walk back home.

As she walks home everyone in Ponyville kept saying "Hello" to her, clearly she was well recognized for how great she was at her job, but in a very stoic manner she didn't give much of a reply to anypony.

Despite the fact that she makes pretty decent money, she chooses to live a life where she only needs the essential necessities to survive, she lives in a small two-story apartment complex, she enters the lobby, walks past the desk clerk, she then walks upstairs to the second floor, then she comes to her room numbered 210, she unlocks the door and enters the room.

Revealing her living quarters to be small with a small living room that has a single love-seat type of couch, a short table where she usually eats at, and a stand where she keeps a radio, a small kitchen with small counter-tops, a single sink, a stove-top oven, a refrigerator with a freezer on top, and a few cabinets and drawers here & there, one of which is under the sink & has a small trash can in it, a single small bedroom with a vanity dresser, and a single twin size bed that has a small bookshelf beside it with a lamp & alarm clock on top, all three of these rooms have no walls separating them from each other, the only room with any walls separating it from the others is a single small bathroom with only a small sink with a mirror/medicine cabinet above it, a toilet, and a combo shower-bathtub with a plain single-colored curtain, there was also a small closet to keep a few articles of clothing she uses year-round(which she usually gets cleaned at the local laundromat since she doesn't have a washing machine), and there were only two windows, one in the living room, and one in the bedroom.

Once she entered her room, she sets down her purse on a small stand that she keeps near the door just for such a thing, she then takes off her cardigan & hangs it on a coat hook screwed into the wall,

She then walks into the kitchen, opens a cabinet, and inside is several stacks of cans of instant single-serving soups that you just add water to & cook, looking at the cans Dr. Ballentine says "Let's see, Carrot, Beet, Onion, Tomato, Pea, Cucumber,.....Oh What the Heck", in an attempt to spice things up, she takes two cans, one Carrot, one Onion, she then boils the soups in a pot on the stove, she then takes a big bowl full of the Carrot/Onion Soup into her Living Room, sets the bowl on the table, then she turns on her radio to listen to some soothing smooth jazz, then she sits on the couch, takes a spoon & eats the soup.

Later she takes a bath, laying in the tub with very few suds, and she's let down her long, wet mane which is just sagging in the water.

Later we see her in bed wearing a long sleeved night gown & her mane tucked inside a sleeping cap, while she's reading a newly released mental health book under her lamp's light, because she likes to keep current on any new discoveries in mental health studies, she then places a bookmark in the book, then puts the book away in her shelf, she then turns off the light, then she lays down, let's out a depressing "sigh" & goes to sleep.

To quote Big Macintosh "Eeyup", this was just a typical night in the life of Dr. Scarabew Ballentine.

Despite the rather dull & boring lifestyle Dr. Ballentine chooses to live, and her rather deadpan personality, she is still a highly respected & appreciated figure in Ponyville.

Her skills in the field of mental health are said to be so advanced, that she could tell what mental problems someone had just by being around them, all she had to do was merely observe a pony, looking at how they appear, how they talk, how they behave, how they act, and what they do on a daily basis, and through psychoanalyzing said pony, she could determine signs of various mental disorders & conditions, and could estimate exactly what was wrong with said pony, and she was usually correct about what problems the pony had & helped them learn to deal with their problems.

One time when she first encountered Fluttershy, simply by looking at how Fluttershy acted, Dr. Ballentine had believed that Fluttershy was what she called an "Equinophobiac" - a Pony who suffers from a Fear of Other Ponies, and during a session with her, Dr. Ballentine suggested that since Fluttershy is more comfortable around animals than other ponies, and had the ability to communicate with animals, she should try living with large groups of animals, as a way to practice interacting with others so that she could eventually build up the courage to interact with her fellow ponies.

Another time one of her patients told Dr. Ballentine of a dream he had where he was a Coconut hanging from a Tree, then a large Crab climbs up the Tree, and snips him off the Tree, and he falls towards the ground, and Dr. Ballentine told him that he had deep-rooted Mother Issues and had to make peace with his own mom if he was to truly be happy, and surprisingly she was absolutely right.

Even Twilight Sparkle - prized student of Princess Celestia was very impressed with Dr. Ballentine, Twilight even believed that Scarabew Ballentine was even smarter than herself, and Dr. Ballentine's Academic Accomplishments would be enough to back up Twilight's beliefs.

It had often been said that Dr. Ballentine was the Best Psychiatrist/Psychotherapist in all of Equestria, even other therapists all over Equestria have come to her for therapy sessions.

She's even made house calls for the Princesses(or should that be Castle Calls?) & has helped Luna deal with her problems after having been changed back from being Nightmare Moon.

And yet perhaps Dr. Ballentine was too good for her own good, most of her sessions with her patients were resolved so fast that it rarely ever took her even half an hour, fortunately due to her abnormally high level of skill she was allowed to charge more than the average therapist, a session with her may have been more expensive than other therapists, but she did get the best results & fast, so in the end it was worth it for her patients, and Ponyville was full of Ponies who were crazy, even if they refused to admit it.

But like the old saying goes "It's Lonely at the Top", and being the best basically meant that there was no one else out there who could give you a run for your money, no one who was worthy enough to even put your skills to the test, and Scarabew Ballentine had this feeling everyday, having come to believe that she had nothing more to look forward to than her next boring day, where she helps solve the problems of others, but no one could ever help her solve her own problems, but all of that changed on the day that Discord broke free from his 1000 Year long imprisonment.

Author's Note

I based this part mostly on the glimpse of the Life of Saitama from the first episode of the Anime adaptation of One Punch Man, someone who has become better at something than anyone else, and has grown bored with their life because things are just too easy for them, I feel like you just can't help but sympathize with people like that when they have good intentions if you know what I mean.

Also the part about the patient with the dream about the Crab & the Coconuts, the Crab is a Coconut Robber Crab, one of the largest known crabs in the world, for those who still don't get it, the Coconut represents the Patient, the Tree represents his Mother, the Crab represents a Troubled Relationship coming between them, and the Coconut Falling from the Tree is a metaphor for the Patient & his Mother Drifting Apart & becoming More Distant in their Relationship, the Idea of using Coconuts & Mother Issues came from the Sonic Boom episode entitled Closed Door Policy.

A Meeting of Opposites

After having outwitted the Mane 6 in that Hedge Maze dilemma, Discord came to Ponyville to change it into the Chaos Capital of the World, as he was wreaking havoc with his chaos magic, every pony who saw him ran away in a panic, every pony except Dr. Scarabew Ballentine, she for one found this situation to be very fascinating, and actually began walking over towards Discord, as Discord kept spreading chaos he began laughing maniacally.

Then he heard a flat/dry-toned voice coming from behind him saying "Interesting, your inappropriate laughter may be a sign that you suffer from Hypomania".

Discord turned around to see a lone mare with a Light Beige Coat, Dark Red Hair, a Cutie Mark of a Fountain Pen & a Clipboard with Paper with an Ink Blot on it, and wearing a Light Gray cardigan sweater with large Navy colored buttons, and a set of half-cut reading glasses suspended from her neck by a long, thin chain, he then says to the mare "And just Who are You supposed to be? Another Pony Celestia sent to try and stop me?".

Dr. Ballentine replies with an emotionless expression on her face "My name is Dr. Scarabew Ballentine, and I'm actually the local Psychotherapist".

Discord replies "Oh, so I guess that makes you(he then miniaturizes himself small enough to stand on the tip of Dr. Ballentine's muzzle and continues to say) A Shrink?".

She simply replies "Your Immaturity may be a sign of Borderline Personality Disorder".

Discord's happy expression droops, then he poofs back to his normal size and says "Personality Disorder? Look Doc, I know exactly what MY Personality is, and it's not 'Disorder', I am Discord! The Lord of Chaos, The King of Disharmony, The Master of Everything Chaotic!".

Dr. Ballentine flatly responds "You also seem to be obsessed with yourself, a possible sign of Narcissistic Personality Disorder".

Discord makes a sour face that is like a cross between anger & confusion, he then turns to Dr. Ballentine and says "Will you stop doing That?! Why don't you just run away from me like every other pony in this boring old dump of a town?".

Dr. Ballentine replies in a monotone fashion "In all of my years of Mental Health Research & Therapy, I've never before met anyone as complex and intriguing as you, you may very well be the challenge I've long been looking for, if it's not too much trouble I would like to observe you, learn more about you, and ask you some questions, if I can come to understand you, and maybe solve whatever problems you may have, I may actually have done something truly worthy of my skills".

Discord is then intrigued by what Dr. Ballentine said and responds with "Observe Me? Hmmm, (With a devilish grin on his face he then says)This just got rather interesting, (he then bends down to make eye level contact with Dr. Ballentine and says)and I've never been one to turn down the oppertunity to give some pony a challenge, (he then stands up straight and says)Oh very well, (he then turns around and starts walking while saying)you can tag along just don't cause me too much trouble", with that Dr. Ballentine begins following Discord around as he continues to turn Ponyville into the Chaos Capital of the World.

What will it take to make you Laugh?

As Discord keeps spreading Chaos, making random things pop out of nowhere, turning things into different things, defying every known laws of physics in the book including making things defy gravity, performing childish pranks, even being in multiple places at one time, Dr. Ballentine follows him everywhere he goes, not letting any of this get to her even the tiniest bit, some time later Discord looks at Dr. Ballentine noticing how well she's taking all of this in, he then says "You know I'm Surprised at how none of this seems to be fazing you out in the least bit, you're either very brave or you've just lost your marbles(hitting himself on one side of his head with his own hand & making a bunch of marbles pour out from his ear).

Dr. Ballentine dryly replies in "In my profession it's important for the doctor to remain calm at all times so that the patients can also remain calm & avoid becoming frantic, besides I've studied and seen many mental ailments & conditions that would leave any untrained pony awake every night for the rest of their lives, trust me, this is only slightly disturbing to me at best".

Discord just laughs and says "You know, I like you Doc, you've got Moxy, and I'm especially fascinated by your Name, (he then makes a bunch of holographic letters appear right between them, spelling out her name while saying)Scarabew Ballentine, (he then makes a bunch of the letters disappear to spell out a single smaller word from her name while saying)subtract the right letters from That and you get-".

(He's then interrupted by Dr. Ballentine as she flatly replies)"Screwball? The classic baseball pitch that serves as the antithesis of a Curveball, which is also used to describe an absurd situation as well as a Crazy or Eccentric being? I didn't find that to be mirthful the first one million times I've heard it".

Discord replies "Geez you are so Uptight! You've got to learn to Loosen Up a Little(while he wiggles his body around like a bunch of wet noodles)and have a good laugh".

Dr. Ballentine dryly replies "You're not the first being who's told me that, I rarely ever find the time or any real reason to laugh".

Discord then feels a tad worried yet still puts on a determined face and says "Oh Really? Well I guarantee that I can make you laugh, I'll find something, just you watch!"

Discord then begins doing all sorts of crazy/silly/goofy things to try and make Dr. Ballentine laugh, use your imagination to think up whatever you want him to be doing to try and make someone else laugh, the possibilities with Discord are virtually endless.

But in the end Dr. Ballentine doesn't even make the smallest smirk, Discord gets frustrated & tries to think of something else, just then he accidentally slips on a banana peel, slides up high going backwards, then lands face first into a pie lying on the ground, he then gets up with his head & neck shoved so far down his torso, that the pie tin is right at his shoulders, he then removes the pie tin only to realize what became of his head, he then forces his head & neck to pop back out from his torso, and he has spinning stars in his eyes with chirping birds flying around his head, he then shakes his head to get rid of the stars in his eyes, but he notices that the birds are still flying around him, he then makes a frustrated look, he begins waving his arms around to shoo the birds away while saying "Alright you, break it up Break It Up", he then tries to get his act together while saying "Now then, where were we?".

But then he starts to hear some quiet laughter that grows louder by the second, he turns around to see Dr. Ballentine is finally laughing, and laughing really hard, as if she hadn't been laughing in a very long time.

Discord then smugly says "Ha, knew I could get you to laugh".

And as she continues laughing hysterically, she suddenly opens her eyes, she then begins switching from laughing in joy to crying in sorrow, until she's now bawling in sadness for some strange reason.

Discord gets worried & says "Ooh, spoke too soon", Discord then leans down to the crying Dr. Ballentine and asks her "Hey now, why are you crying?"

She then responds like a normal person who is sad would talk while saying "I'm sorry, it's just that, I haven't laughed like that in such a long time, that I've come to realize, that despite how successful I am, my life is just so Boring & Miserable(and she sob-talks to make it sound like Mis-er-a-bu-hu-hu-hul)" and she resumes bawling.

Discord then pulls a handkerchief out from his ear, and gives it to Dr. Ballentine while saying "Aw come on now, turn off the waterworks", then she blows her nose in the hanky once, then blows harder a second time, then blows even harder a third time, then she stops bawling & just tosses the hanky aside, Discord then says "It seems to me that your life is just far too Orderly for your own good".

Dr. Ballentine then looks at Discord with her cheeks drenched in tears and in a more Normal sounding tone asks him "What do you mean by 'Too Orderly?".

Discord replies "I mean your life is just so Predictable and Routine, that nothing really brings anything Fun or Surprising into your life, in other words you live a life with Zero Chaos in it", he then makes a rose appear out of nothing and holds it up to Dr. Ballentine while saying "But that's the beauty of Chaos, it can take the Ordinary, (he then magically changes the rose into what looks like solid chocolate and says)and make it something Extraordinary(and he pronounces it as Ecks-Trore-din-air-ee, putting a lot of emphasis on the ROAR part)".

She then takes the rose, smells it, makes a curious expression, then she bites into the rose, and as she chews she then makes an amazed expression and says "Wow! a Rose that's actually made of Chocolate-Coated Graham Cracker with a Marshmallow Center".

Then Discord leans in and says "And there's a lot S'more possibilities than just that".

Which causes Dr. Ballentine to let out a small chuckle.

Then Discord takes Dr. Ballentine by the hoof and says "Come on Doc, what you need is to have some real fun, Chaos Style", he then whisks her off into his Chaos remade Ponyville.

Author's Note

The scene where Discord points out that Scarabew Ballentine is just the word Screwball with a bunch more letters added to it = Sc~~a~~r~~ab~~ew Ball~~entine~~ = was inspired by how the Joker points out that the name Harleen Quinzel being reworked into Harley Quinn makes it sound like the Clown-like character Harlequin.

Disproving Discorded History

Discord tries to show Dr. Ballentine a good time while still spreading Chaos everywhere he goes, suddenly he stops, holds out his hand in a "STOP" hand gesture and says "Wait", he then looks in another direction, he then says "So They've finally arrived, this will be amusing".

He then makes a copy of himself and tells it "Take Care of Them".

The copy bows and says "It'll be Our pleasure".

Dr. Ballentine -now taking in more of an average/normal style of speaking- asks Discord "What was That all about?".

He replies "Oh, Celestia sent Twilight Sparkle & her little friends to stop me, (then he speaks in more of a menacing tone)so I'm going to make sure that they fail" he then makes an evil laugh with lightning bolts in the background.

She then asks him "You're not going to, Eradicate Them, are you?".

Discord responds in shock says "What?! Oh perish the thought, (he then poofs up a display chart to show Dr. Ballentine what the situation is and says)You see, it's the power of their friendship that fuels the Elements of Harmony, the only magical relics that are capable of ending all my chaotic fun & sealing me away in a stone imprisonment, last time Celestia & Luna used the Elements to turn me into a living statue over 1000 Years ago, but now Twilight & her friends wield the Elements, and their friendship is the key to their success, so I plan to break their little hearts & ruin their friendship, turning them all against each other, that way they will be unable to use the Elements and I'll be free to spread chaos forever, so I have no reason to crassly resort to violence".

Dr. Ballentine takes all of this into account and says "hmmm fascinating, all of this Chaos, and you don't show any intentions of purposely causing anyone any actual harm, despite the fact that all Equestrian historical records of you depict you as being a sadistic, cruel, ruthless, barbaric, heartless psychopath".

Discord gasps in shock then says "Oh, your words hurt, I'm Chaotic, not Psychopathic".

Dr. Ballentine responds "Exactly! A true Psychopath is someone without moral qualms, who does horrifically terrible things without feeling guilt, remorse, or regret, and has no regard for others, However from what I've seen, all your doing is making nonsensical, juvenile, whimsical alterations to the very reality that surrounds you, while forcing others to share in your concept of fun, but not actually trying to harm anyone, there for you show signs of being more along the lines of a Sociopath, an antisocial being who has difficulty defining what is right from wrong, someone willing to do bad things but still worries about the consequences of their own actions, and the effects they have on others".

Discord responds "(phhhft) Finally! Someone actually gets it right, I am but a humble artist in the Art of Chaos, I want myself & everyone else to have fun unabated by anything, even those highfalutin laws of physics everyone seems so attached to, but still there's no Fun in spreading Chaos if someone actually get badly hurt, especially if it's beyond recovery".

Discord then makes a wide Soapy road appear before him, then poofs himself into an ice-figure-skaters outfit and asks Dr. Ballentine, "Anyways, Shall we Dance(prounced as Dawnce)".

She replies "But I've never skated before".

Then Discord takes her by the hoof and says "Well there's always a first for everything, (then while they're both close to each other's faces Discord says)Don't worry, I promise I won't let you get injured", then the two begin figure-skating together on the soapy road, both of them laughing in delight.

Author's Note

I think that in his more worse days back when he was being the Bad Guy and all, Discord was being Sociopathic when everyone else thought that he was being Psychopathic, mostly due to a scene from the movie Batman and Harley Quinn,

Turns out that it's easy to confuse Sociopathy with both Psychopathy & Alexithymia, Psychopaths have no conscience and do horrible things without regret, remorse or care about the effects it has on others, Alexithymiacs have the inability to feel, share, describe, express or be aware of any emotions what so ever, which can include guilt, while Sociopaths have a weak conscience and are willing to do bad things, but they still can feel regret about the things that they've done, and feel guilty about how it effects others, so out of all three of those, the closest Discord was to any of them at his Very Worst was a Sociopath.

The Good Doctor's diagnosis

While Flying around the Chaotic Ponyville on some Flying Pigs bobbing up & down like they were on a Merry-Go-Round with Calliope Music coming out of the Pigs' mouths & snouts, Discord and Dr. Ballentine are enjoying themselves.

Suddenly the Discord Copy from earlier appears before Discord and whispers something into his ear.

Then Discord leaps up with glee, teleports the Flying Pigs somewhere else.

Dr. Ballentine then falls down, but when she lands, the checkerboard ground acts like a trampoline/safety net and cushions her fall, she then turns to Discord and asks "What's got you in such a good mood?".

Discord dances a happy dance and says "I've done it, I've broken the Element Bearers' precious little friendship, rendering them unable to use the Elements of Harmony, they no longer pose a threat to me, now there is Nothing that can stop me from Ruling all of Equestria in Eternal Chaos!(then he starts laughing like a loon)".

But then Dr. Ballentine interrupts his laughter and asks "But is that Truly what you want?".

Discord stops and asks "Excuse Me?".

She then states "Well it's just that being a ruler is a very big responsibility, and you don't seem to be the type who would be willing to take on all of the duties that come with being the leader of an Entire Nation, you seem more like the type who just wants to have fun & make others enjoy having you around".

Discord replies "Well Duh, and under My Rule, Everything will be Cool, and besides who in their right minds would want to mess with a kingdom ruled by a virtually all-powerful reality warping Being of Chaos?".

Dr. Ballentine responds "True, but I believe that all of This goes Deeper than just wanting rule Equestria, In Fact I believe I finally have you figured out".

Discord replies "Oh Do You Now? Ha, This ought to be good for a few cheap laughs, so Doc, What's your Diagnosis?".

Dr. Ballentine makes a Smug Looking Face and says "I believe that you're actually a good being at heart, and you've been wanting to impress others with what your powers are capable of, so that they would come to like you & want to be your friends, but everywhere you go, everyone misunderstands you due to your Chimerical Appearance & Chaotic Nature, and treat you like you're some kind of Evil Monster, so in response you take out your frustration by forcing others to become part of your Chaotic Mischief whether they like it or not, which in turn makes them detest you even more, thus making you think that you need to become their ruler so that you'd have a place in their society, Don't you see Discord, All you Really want, is to find Acceptance in a world that thinks that you Don't Belong".

This puts Discord at a loss for words as he says "Uh, Why That's Preposterou-, How Ridiculou-, That's Outrag-, Don't be Absur-, What kind of Cockama-", but in the end he can't deny it and starts making a sad face like he's about to burst into tears, then he starts Bawling with literal Fountains of Tears spewing from his eyes while saying "Doh Who Am I Kidding? It's True! It's All True! All I ever wanted was for everyone to Accept Me for Who & What I Am! (he then leans of Dr. Ballentine's shoulder crying while saying)But let's face it, There's no place for someone like me Anywhere!".

Trying to find someway to cheer him up, Dr. Ballentine rubs Discord's back while saying "Now now that's not true, why I think you have the potential to be uh... (then she get's an idea an says)the Greatest Amusement Park Designer Ever!".

Discord then lifts himself up and asks "Amusement Park Designer?".

Dr. Ballentine then reinforces her statement by saying "Yes, think about it, You can make an endless amount of virtually anything appear out of nowhere, turn anything into just about anything else, be in countless places at one time, break the very laws of physics so that pretty much anything can be possible, control the very fabric of reality itself, all while still making sure that everyone has fun without getting hurt, These are the kind of things that Other Amusement Park Designers throughout history could have only Dreamed Of, But You Can Do All of That And More, Any Amusement Park made by you would undoubtedly be the greatest Amusement Park of all time, you'd be super successful, and surely everyone would come to not only accept you, but would adore you for bringing such a great way for them to have fun, in a more reasonable sense by Their standards".

Discord is then struck with a great realization and says "Huh! You know, I never thought of it like That before, Yeeesss, I can see it all now, Reverse Gravity Bounce Houses, so you can bounce around on the ceiling, Underwater Roller Coaster Rides, with water that's safe for Air Breathers to breath, and Food Courts with Fountains that spew an endless amount of Pizza Slices, hahaha, it's Brilliant! I think I'll call it, *Chaotic Kingdom!* (then he gives Dr. Ballentine a big hug, sweeping her off her hooves, and he twirls around while he says)Oh Thank You Doc, You're the Best!".

Dr. Ballentine struggling to breath in Discord's grip says "Glad I Could Help".

Then Discord places his palms on her cheeks, holds her up to his face and says "Oh But enough about me, how about we talk more about you?!".

Dr. Ballentine then asks "What?".

Discord then let's go of her, having her land on a normal cloud that he enchanted so that Wingless Ponies can stand on it and says "Oh come on now, surely there's a lot more going on here with you, like how such a wonderful Pony who's fun to be around like you, ended up with such a dull & boring life, and even as a Psychotherapist none the less".

Dr. Ballentine is befuddled by this, and she says "Oh, Gosh, No Pony has ever asked me to tell them more about myself before".

Discord then converts her cloud into a chaise lounge/therapy couch and says "Well no time like the Present", then he poofs himself into a chair & is wearing a therapist outfit while saying "Why don't you start back from your foalhood".

Dr. Ballentine decides to just go along with this, because even therapists need therapy, and Scarabew Ballentine was no ordinary therapist, so she would need someone not ordinary to talk to.

Author's Note

Well what better career would there be for a being like Discord in normal society than an Amusement Park Designer, am I right?

The Origin Story of Dr. Scarabew Ballentine

Dr. Ballentine starts telling Discord more about her own life & reminiscing about her past by saying "Well, I guess it all began back when I was just a Filly, I was an only child, and my parents were both highly respected Doctors, my Dad was a Cardiologist, my Mom was a Microbiologist, they were both very stiff, stern & serious about virtually everything in their lives, even about raising me, and their jobs often kept them away from home for long periods of time, so they would often leave me with my grandparents, who were retired Doctors, as my babysitters, you can imagine how exciting things were for me growing up".

"One day, a Traveling Circus came to town, when I asked my parents if we could go see it, they believed that it might have been a fair way for us to spend some time together as a family, so while things were slow at both of my parents' jobs, they both took a day off, and we all went to see the Circus".

"It had the acts that you would commonly find in a typical circus, the Equine Cannonball, Fire Eaters, Sword Eaters, Contortionists, Knife Throwing, the Strong-Stallion, Trapeze Artists, Plate Spinners, Magician Acts, various Animal Acts like the Lion Tamer, Unicycling Bears, Juggling Seals, Acrobatic Poodles riding on a Tiny Go-Kart etc., it was just so full of wonder & marvels, I enjoyed every last moment of it, yet my parents just sat there with their faces still as stoic as ever".

"But then they sent in the Clowns, they were so agile & whimsical, performing all sorts of great & humorous acts, one such act was when one of the clowns was getting ready to launch a water-propelled rocket into the air, he pushed the button on a remote control to launch the rocket, but then a puff of smoke came from his belt, and his over-sized baggy-pants fell down, and he acted all embarrassed about everyone seeing him in his polka-dot boxer shorts, that was when I finally saw my parents laughing".

"But what really got to them was when one of the clowns slipped on a banana peel, fell backwards, and landed face first into an enormous pie, which was actually just a large cushion wrapped with Aluminum Foil & coated with whip-cream to look like a big pie so he wouldn't really get hurt, I laughed so much my sides ached, but my parents laughed so hard I thought that they were going to bust a gut".

"I Never saw them look so happy before, and I wanted to always see them happy, even if it had to be me who made them happy, it was then & there, that I knew what I wanted to do with my life, I wanted to be a Clown, so I could make everyone laugh and be happy because of me".

"The very next morning, while both of my parents were still home, I placed a pie on the floor, and walked in wearing my dad's best pants, I told my folks, Hey Mom, Dad Look At Me, I then dropped my dad's pants, then purposely tripped and fell face first into the pie, and shouted, Whoopsie! But my parents were not amused, they simply told me, Young Filly, Quit Fooling Around and go Clean Yourself Up before you're Late For School, well them's the breaks I guess".

"But I still didn't give up, I joined my school's junior comedy club, to surround myself with fellow lovers of comedy, so we could practice our own comedy routines with each other, I even took an after school gymnastics class to try and build-up my agility, so I could have more whimsical movements for my clownish performances".

"But one day during our training sessions, one of my fellow gymnastics classmates was afraid to do the Rope Climbing course, turns out he had a form of Acrophobia, Fear of Heights, not wanting him to get in trouble with our Trainer, I tried talking to my classmate, to try and help him with his problem".

"He told me that everytime he was in a high place, or saw something that was up very high, he would hear a strange sound in his ears, and he would get dizzy, so I had an idea, if the problem started when he heard a strange sound, I suggested that he tried wearing earplugs, they might have helped keep him from hearing that strange sound that causes him to get dizzy, and it actually worked, with his ears plugged up, it restored a balance within his Vestibular System, which prevented him from getting those dizzy-spells he gets when he gets in a situation involving heights, thus allowing him to get over his Acrophobia & climb the Rope".

"It was after he succeeded and thanked me for my help, that I earned my Cutie Mark, it was a Fountain Pen and a Clipboard that had a piece of paper with an ink blot on it, this left me very confused".

"When I told my school teacher about my Cutie Mark & how I had gotten it, she told me that my special talent was apparently Psychoanalysis, and helping others with identifying & resolving their mental problems, which would be perfect if I took a career as a Psychologist, or a Psychiatrist, or even a Psychotherapist, you can imagine how devastated I was when she told me that".

"But despite what my Cutie Mark was telling me what I was best at, I still didn't want to give up on my dream of becoming a Clown, so I kept trying my best to achieve said dream".

"However my school-mates thought I was crazy for trying to become a clown when my special talent was Psychoanalyzing, one of them even took notice of how if you take my name, Scarabew Ballentine, and removed half the letters from it, you'd get the word 'Screwball', many of the other foals then started using that fact, and calling me by that name, they would go, Screwball Screwball Scarabew is a Screwball, I wanted to make others laugh, but this was not what I had in mind".

"And of course my Disapproving Parents didn't like my choice, my Dad was like, No Daughter of Mine is going to waste her valuable time trying to become a Clown, Your Cutie Mark says your Special Talent is Psychoanalysis, And Your going to work towards getting a career that puts That Talent to Good Use".

"And my Mom was all, Your Father is right Scarabew, we both know you're much too smart for such Frivolities, you need to let go of this childish fantasy of yours and get in touch with real life, so from now on, there will be No More After School Gymnastic Classes for you, and you're going to Quit that Junior Comedy Club at School, from now on you're going to study to become something like a Psychiatrist, or a Psychologist, or a Psychotherapist or something".

"So I did exactly what they told me, I left both the Junior Comedy Club & the Gymnastics Class, and from then on I spent the rest of my foalhood studying various Mental Health Courses, learning about all sorts of mental disorders & ailments, researching their various causes & treatments, even when I had free time my parents kept making me do more & more research in my Mental Health Studies".

"Eventually I graduated at the top of my classes, earned my Doctorates in multiple fields of Mental Health, was certified by the Government to receive my Psychotherapy License, then I rented the space to set up an office here in Ponyville, where I've helped everypony here deal with their mental problems".

"Eventually my reputation extended throughout Equestria, pretty soon countless Ponies from all over the Nation kept coming to me for help, even various other doctors in the fields of Mental Health came to me seeking help, I've helped more Ponies than you can shake your tail at, and I've received an endless number of awards & honors for my work, and sure I made my Parents Proud of me and all".

"(sigh)But none of it brought me any real happiness or thrills, I had become the best of the best at what I do, but I felt as if I was stuck in a rut, where no matter what was thrown at me, nothing could ever be a true challenge for me, or be something that was worth getting excited over anymore, That is, until today, when I met You Discord".

Author's Note

This is basically where we should be feeling the most sympathetic for Scarabew Ballentine, I'm sure lots of us all know the feeling of having a dream job/career as a child, but end up doing something we never wanted to do when we finally become adults, well it's all just one of the many burdens of growing up right?

The Lord of Chaos' diagnosis

Dr. Ballentine then stops with the reminiscing but keeps talking to Discord in the here & now by saying "I mean I've seen a lot of crazy things that go on in this town, and I've learned of a lot of bizarre things that involve Mental Health and all, but I've never met anyone like you before, I mean you see the world in ways that nopony else could ever even imagine, and despite this double negative, pretty much Nothing is Impossible for you, and it's become clear to me that You, though often described as a demonic, merciless entity of pure evil, are in actuality a tormented, lost soul with a big, strong heart, seeking out love & acceptance in a world that misunderstands you, and there, as always, were Self-Righteous Individuals, determined to make life miserable for you, but if they just gave you a chance, and got to know you, the Real You, for who you Truly are, I'm sure that they would honestly want to befriend you".

Discord then takes off the glasses he's wearing and says "(sarcastic)Oh sure, like That's ever going to happen, (normal)who in their right minds would ever even want to give someone as chaotic as me That chance?".

Dr. Ballentine replies "Well, I already have", (hehe)yeah, as unprofessional as this may be, I've actually developed strong, emotional feelings towards my own patient, dare I even go so far as to think that I've actually, fallen in Love with you Discord".

A surprised Discord asks "Wait, You're, in Love, with Me? You're not just trying to pull my leg here are you?".

Dr. Ballentine replies "No, I believe these feelings I have towards you are real, I'm really in Love with You".

Surprised by this again Discord says "Oh, Well, I've, never had anyone who, Loved, me before".

Dr. Ballentine replies "Well, first time for everything right? Though when you think about it, a Psychotherapist like me, falling for an Immortal Being of Chaos like you, I mean it sounds pretty crazy right?".

Discord replies "Oh Yes, it's very crazy, and yet, (he then puts the glasses back on and says)it actually makes perfect sense".

Discord then tells Dr. Ballentine "From foalhood you grew-up in an environment devoid of fun & amusement, and once you got a taste of it, you wanted to hold on to that joyous feeling forever, and you wanted to spread that feeling to others so that They could also be happy, which would have made you even more happy in return, but you were forced to be placed on a path that you never even asked for, or even wanted to take to begin with, so you felt that you had to abstain yourself from any further fun & amusement, becoming a more dedicated, career oriented mare in the process, yet you ended up feeling as though you had lost an important part of yourself, leaving a void in your heart that you felt could never be filled, it's only natural that you would find an attraction towards someone so unique, that he could make you laugh again, and help you remember what it was like back when you got your first taste of fun & amusement, thus reminding you of the lost & forgotten You that you used to be, which helped to fill in the void in your heart, in other words being around me brings you the happiness that you've been deprived of for so long now, (he then takes the glasses off again while saying)and If I had to be honest, I kind of feel the same way towards you Doc, I've really grown attached to you".

Dr. Ballentine replies by giving Discord a hug while saying "I knew you'd understand".

A flabbergasted Discord then regains his wits and says "Yes well, the real problem with you was that your life was filled with too much Order, and it was filling you with misery because everything was too routine & mundane for you, all you truly needed was to bring Chaos into you life, it's the unexpected surprises that Chaos gives us that makes life so unforeseeable & fun".

Dr. Ballentine has a great realization and says "My Gosh, You're absolutely Right, without Chaos, life would be too predictable & boring, I can't believe I've gone on This long without it, you've opened my eyes to a greater truth that I didn't even realize existed, we need you to help make life better for us all".

Discord makes his outfit disappear and says "It warms my Heart to hear you say that Doc, too bad everypony else can't be as open-minded as you".

Dr. Ballentine replies "Ah Every Pony is Crazy Discord, even those who refuse to admit it, believe me, I should know, I had sessions with them, trust me, they'll all eventually come to see how Important you & your Chaos are to the world, just, give them some time".

Discord then says "Yes, well until then, being able to spread all of this Beautiful Chaos gets very lonely without someone else to share it all with, (he then holds out his lion paw and asks)soooo uh, care to join me?".

Dr. Ballentine takes a few seconds before finally replying "Hey, I've stuck with you this far, (she then takes Discord's paw with her hoof and says)Why Stop Now?".

Discord then poofs up a long-seated motor scooter, and their both wearing Helmets, Googles, and Scarfs, that have each-other's color-schemes, and Dr. Ballentine is holding on to Discord's torso, he then says "Haha, Excellent, we can get started on making the plans for the Chaotic Kingdom Amusement Park together, (he then revs up the engine while saying)to quote another famous Doctor, Allons-y".

Then they ride off at a great speed while Dr. Ballentine is laughing with joy & excitement.

Author's Note

As you can guess This and a bunch of the earlier chapters in This story used some material inspired by the DC Comics story Mad Love, which told the original origin of Harley Quinn:

What I'd Give Up for You

We later come to Discord's Throne, where we see Dr. Ballentine sitting on a cloud right beside Discord, with a flat board floating between them, on this board are the plans for Discord's Chaos-Themed Amusement Park, they discuss all sorts of stuff to include in said Amusement Park, like Video Arcades in a cube shaped building, where Gravity is configured so that ponies could use stairs on the edges & corners of the building to walk up onto the walls & ceiling, where even more games to play are placed, giving ponies a total of six floors worth of games that aren't necessarily on the Floor, Giant Ice Stating Ranks with Soap Floors instead of Ice, and Souvenir/Gift Shops the size of Shopping Malls, where ponies could buy Everything they could possibly think of or need, including the Kitchen Sink.

Discord laughs with glee about all of this, he then gets himself a glass of chocolate milk from a cotton candy cloud, then he says "Chaos, is a Wonderful, Wonderful Thing".

But before he took a drink, Twilight Sparkle says "Not as Wonderful, as Friendship", and the Uncorrupted Mane 6 are present along with the Elements of Harmony.

Discord confidently sighs and says "This Again?", he then literally drinks the glass leaving the chocolate milk, he then throws away the milk & it explodes like a bomb.

Applejack then says "That's right, You couldn't break apart our friendship for long".

But then Dr. Ballentine runs up in front of Discord, facing the Mane 6 and shouts "STOP!".

A surprised & confused Twilight says "What the? Dr. Scarabew Ballentine?! What are you doing? Get out of here it's Dangerous!".

Dr. Ballentine says "No, I won't let you Harm him!".

Twilight says "Are you Crazy?! That's Discord, He's the Monster that Ruined Ponyville with all this Chaos!".

Dr. Ballentine says "You're Wrong, He's Not a Monster, Equestria Needs Him, I Need Him!".

Twilight tries to say something, but she's interrupted by Applejack who says "Don't waste your breath Sugarcube, obviously Discord corrupted her like he did all of us".

Rainbow Dash then adds on "Yeah, why else would she be talking more like a Normal Pony instead of her usual Deadpan style".

Dr. Ballentine is outraged by that and says "Why of All the-".

But Discord interrupts her by placing his Lion's Paw on her shoulder while saying, "It's OK Doc, I can handle my own battles thank you very much", Discord then warps in front of the Mane 6 and says "Look Ladies, we all know that you're no longer a threat to me since you no longer have your precious friendship & what not, but just to show you how good a sport I am, I'll humor you here, (he then warps back into his throne & says)but let's make this quick, I have far more important things to work on".

Twilight starts out confused but regains her focus while saying "Uh, Right, Come on Ladies, let's show him what Friendship can do!".

But of course Pinkie Pie shouts "Wait-Wait-Wait", so that she can interrupt the serious moment to get one last drink of Chocolate Rain, then she rejoins the others & gets serious.

Then the Mane 6 start glowing while floating in the air, naturally Discord is over confident & yawns, while we see Dr. Ballentine making a worried facial expression about this whole situation, then the Elements start resonating and launching laser symbols at Discord, when Discord finally takes notice of this he says "Huh, What's this?", he then sees the Mane 6 glowing like a star, he then realizes what's happening and says "No", all the while Dr. Ballentine feels just as afraid about what's going to happen next.

The Mane 6 then launch their Magic Rainbow up into the air, as it arches coming down heading for Discord, Dr. Ballentine out of concern for the Draconequus begins running towards him.

As the Rainbow is coming in for Discord, he & Dr. Ballentine both shout "NO!".

But then she leaps up with her front legs out(and tears in her eyes) shouting "DISCORD!".

He takes notice and grabs hold of her while shouting "DOC!".

Then as the two are holding on to each other in a Hugging style, the Rainbow hits both of them together, but then for some reason the Rainbow begins creating a Vacuum effect on all of the Chaos Magic that Discord filled Ponyville & beyond with, it sucks up all of the Chaos Magic out of everything that Discord infected with his Magic, thus returning everything infected with Chaos Magic back to Normal.

All of the Chaos Magic is sucked up into the Rainbow, then it's all being transferred back into Discord, who begins letting off a low level glow, but Dr. Ballentine begins glowing so intensely that she becomes a pure white blur, shining brighter than the sun.

When all of the Chaos Magic was stripped from everything in Ponyville, Canterlot & everything in between, the Rainbow lifts itself up into the sky, where it all spirals around in a single spot, then it implodes & bursts in a shower of sparkles.

The Mane 6 all float back down to the ground, but they are shocked by what they saw happen, they see that Discord is still there, completely unaffected by the Rainbow's Power(but his thrown is still gone), Discord still in the pose he was in this whole time then opens his eye, then he extends his neck to look around, then looks at his backside to see that he hasn't been sealed in stone like he was the last time, but then he looks at Dr. Ballentine and sees that she has gone through a big physical change.

Dr. Ballentine now had a Pinkish-Purple Coat, her long Mane & Tail were now Curly & Poofier, and were colored Dark Purple with White Highlights, and she was now nude but wearing a Green & Yellow Propeller Beanie on top of her head for some reason, even her Cutie Mark had changed, the Fountain Pen was now replaced by a Screw, and the Clipboard with the Paper that had the Ink Blot on it was now replaced by a Baseball, yet she remained completely motionless.

Concerned for her, Discord tried gently shaking her telling her "Doc, DOC, come on open your Eyes".

When she finally did, we see that her Eyes have changed as well, they now had Purple Irises, but instead of round, black pupils, they had Pink Spirals in them, once she opened her eyes, they were dizzily spinning around making slide-whistling sounds as the spun around, then she blinked three times to try and refocus her eyes, but when she did they kept going from normal to wall-eyed & back with each blink, and her blinks made plunking sounds like rocks falling in shallow water.

She then slips out of Discord's grip, then she wobbles around on her hind legs & holding her front hooves on her head while making a bunch of "Whoa" sounds as if she was disoriented.

Discord asks her "Are you feeling OK?".

The transformed Dr. Ballentine then replies in a Bubbly, High-Pitch, sort of Child-like sounding voice, that sounds identical to that of Tara Strong's Harley Quinn voice and says "Oh, I'm feeling kind of Light-Headed".

Then suddenly her head disconnects from her neck making a kind of "pu-ka" like sound effect as if popping out of a socket or something, and her head starts floating upwards like a helium filled balloon, naturally Dr. Ballentine & Discord are surprised while the Mane 6 are freaked out by this.

Then Dr. Ballentine stretches her front legs like they were made of rubber up towards her floating head, (with a close-up of her head)she grabs her head, retracts her front legs, and reattaches her head to her neck, then (the picture zooms out and) we see that she didn't pull her Head Down to her Body, she pulled her Body Up to her Head, so she was now floating in mid air.

When she notices this she's of course surprised, but then she starts flying around while laughing and shouting "I Can Fly!", she then starts doing some pretty loony stuff while in the air, like performing mid-air Cart-Wheels, flying backwards & upside-down while doing Dweeberlips, and spinning around while performing a Cossack Dance, the Mane 6 are shock & confused at all of the things that the transformed Dr. Ballentine is doing.

Then she soars up high into the sky, then she noses dives down towards the ground at break-neck speeds, then she does a 180 flip & comes to a screeching halt just a few inches from the ground, and touches the ground with only one rear hoof while making a ballet pose, then she laughs and says "Good Air-Brakes Huh?".

Then Twilight asks the Metamorphosed Mare "D-Doctor Ballentine?".

Then the Spiral-Eyed Mare wraps a front leg around Twilight's neck and says "Oh Please, no need for such formalities, just call me Screwball! I used to be called that a lot as a Filly anyways".

Then Rainbow Dash hovers down to just above Twilight & asks "Uh, What just Happened?!".

Then Applejack throws in "Yeah, Why the Hey didn't the Elements work on Discord?".

Rarity then asks "And Why Ever did Dr. Ballentine change into, that, That, THING?!".

Dr. Ballentine now going by the name of Screwball then grabs the rim of her beanie, then she stretches her beanie down to completely cover her entire body, then the beanie retracts back to normal size, and we see that Screwball is now wearing an outfit & accessories that makes her look like she's imitating Albert Einstein, and speaking in a Male Voice with a Thick German Accent she says "Vell I haffe ein Zeory apout zat(Well I have a Theory about that)", then she tears off the Einstein costume returning to her Natural Pony Nudity and says in her Regular(New Regular) Voice "But first I think some-pony-else needs to hear this, BRB".

She then begins spinning around like a purple tornado = Looney Tunes Taz the Tasmanian Devil-style, then she whisks off towards Canterlot, a few seconds later she returns, but the tornado looks bigger & has white mixed in with it, Screwball then stops spinning to reveal that she has brought Princess Celestia with her, naturally Celestia is very dizzy from all that spinning around.

Celestia then says "Uh, Mind your hooves I think I'm going to toss my cakes", she then looks around confused saying "Wait what's going on-", she then gasps at the sight of Discord and shouts "Discord? I should've known!", Celestia then charges up her horn to blast him, only for Screwball to place a cork on the tip of her horn, Celestia's horn then expands like a balloon due to the pressure of her plugged up magic, then the magic redirects itself & bursts out through Celestia's Ears as clouds of glittery sparkles.

Screwball then takes off the cork from Celestia's horn and says "Now hold your horses Queen Sunshine, there's no need to start something you'll end up regretting".

Celestia looks at Screwball in confusion and asks "Who, or What, are You?".

Twilight then butts in an tells Celestia "It's Dr. Ballentine! Something Weird happened to her when we used the Elements of Harmony".

Celestia then says "Ballentine? As in Scarabew Ballentine the Psychotherapist?!".

Screwball who is now wearing Groucho Glasses while holding a celery stalk in her teeth says "Yepparoony", then she pulls the celery stalk away from her face, but the groucho glasses are attached to the celery stalk as if they were one thing, and she then says "But you can just call me Screwball".

Author's Note

When Scarabew Ballentine became Screwball, did anyone else get a vibe from This:

An invitation to the Chaotic Kingdom

It has been several weeks since Discord & Screwball had disappeared, all of Equestria has basically moved on since then, Ponyville had to get used to no longer having Dr. Scarabew Ballentine to help them with their mental problems, but things didn't turn out as bad as when things would get when something like a monster attack would occur.

Despite the fact that Celestia has time & time again ensured the citizens of Equestria that Discord is no longer a threat thanks to the actions of Dr. Scarabew Ballentine, who now goes under the name of Screwball & wields chaos powers like Discord, many Ponies were still very uneasy about Discord still being on the loose.

Plus many were also concerned for Dr. Ballentine, some came to believe that in some sort of a hostage situation Discord would come to spare the rest of Equestria in exchange for a single innocent pony to corrupt into his permanent personal plaything, others came to believe that Dr.Ballentine had saved Equestria by sacrificing her own sanity to tame the draconequus, only to leave herself mad as a hatter, but both the Mane 6 & Celestia knew the truth better than anyone else, Discord & Screwball both fell in love, and yet they still wonder what had happened to them for so long.

But one rather dull & uneventful Tuesday Morning, each one of the Mane 6 hears a knocking at their doors, they open the doors only to see that someone has left a present that their doorsteps, the presents are medium-sized boxes wrapped in single colored paper & tied with single colored ribbons that are coordinated with their own color-schemes, attached to the presents are tags that all read "Do Not Open Until You Are At The Ponyville Park At High Noon Today".

Curious about this, the entire Mane 6(with Spike accompanying Twilight) take their presents to the park, they are surprised to see each other when they all end up meeting at the park with the same kind of mysterious presents.

They all wait until high noon like the tags said so, and once it was noon the presents suddenly started shaking like an earthquake, then they all shot up into the air, then they all fused together, and dropped out of the sky as one big box about the size of a small car, wrapped in multicolored rainbow-style paper & tied with multicolored rainbow-style ribbon, then the box bursts open, and like a jack-in-the-box, out came Screwball dressed as a jester shouting "Surprise Surprise!".

Twilight then says in shock "Dr. Bal-uh-Screwball?".

Screwball then bounces out of the box with the entire lower half of her body in the form of a spring, and while bobbling around she says "Hoo Looks like I still got a little Spring in my Step", she then takes a deep breath, gulps it down, then her spring-like lower body returns to normal, she then says "That's better", then she rips the jester costume off.

The Mane 6 are surprised to see Screwball after all this time, they question her as to what the meaning of this is.

Screwball then says "I came to let you know, that the Amusement Park that Discord & I have been working on, is now fully operational & is open for business", she then reaches behind her back & pulls out something that looks like a large, long card, she then spreads it out like a paper fan to reveal that it's actually six card-like things, she than says "And as a way to apologize for all of the trouble Discord caused you all weeks ago, I'm here to give you all Free 'Diamond Rank, Lifetime Passes to the Chaotic Kingdom Amusement Park', (then she hands out the passes to the Mane 6 while saying)granting you all unlimited access to everything available to the public, you won't need to wait in lines, and you get limitless refills & reloads of everything we have to offer, and you all have the honor of being the first ones to try it all".

But when she notices Spike & sees that she has no Passes left over, Spike then quietly asks "How come I don't get one?".

Screwball then laughs and says "Don't be silly Silly, You've Had your Pass all along".

Spike gets confused, then Screwball turns Spike's head to the side, then she presses down on the upper most spike on Spike's head, it then slides down into his head like some kind of slot, then another one of those Diamond Rank Passes pops right out of Spike's Ear making a 'Cha-Ching' sound effect, Screwball then takes the Pass & presents it to Spike(by the way his upper most Spike on his head has slid back into it's rightful place).

Spike then says "Whoa, How did you Do That?".

Screwball replies "Anything is Possible at Chaotic Kingdom".

Applejack then asks "So where exactly do we have to go to get to this amusement park?".

Screwball giggles & replies "That's the great part, You don't Go to the Park, the Park Comes to You".

The Mane 6 + Spike are confused.

Screwball then clarifies "Just hold out your Passes, and say the magic word "Abrachaosa(A-bra-Chaos-a)".

Everyone in confussion then says "Abrachaosa?", then their Passes start glowing , then they fly into the air, then they combine together into a sphere of light, then that light forms into a large gate with a set of long doors, with a large sign above it that says "Chaotic Kingdom", and a smaller sign that says "Entrance", just by looking at the gate, it appears to lead absolutly nowhere, but then the doors open like a set of curtains, then we see that the gate actually acts as a portal or something leading to somewhere else, and inside the gate we see Discord wearing a performance suit that looks like a jumbled-up mess of various colors & patterns.

And he greets our heroes saying "Hello Ladies & Gentle-Dragon, Welcome to the Greatest Amusement Park ever to exist, Please come on in & enjoy yourselves", with a bit of concern our heroes walk through the gate, followed shortly after by Screwball prancing on her hind legs in silly manner.

Author's Note

On a Semi-related note, has anyone ever seen This Pic:

Posted on Tumblr by This Artist - http://askhumandiscord.tumblr.com/post/33290376107 (All Credit for the pic goes to it's original creator, Not me).

Welcome to the Chaotic Kingdom

We see that the Amusement Park exists in another dimension, where the Park itself is about the size of the State of Alaska, and is constantly growing & changing with Discord & Screwball's combined imagination, it's a mash-up of virtually every kind of Amusement/Theme Park you can possibly imagine, and some you'd never even think of, it even has some elements of Carnivals, Circuses and Entertainment Centers, and even has many sections that are specifically targeted for Babies, Little Kids, Bigger Kids, Teenagers, Young Adults, Middle-Aged Adults, Elderly Adults, and Whole Families, Discord & Screwball spared nothing to make this place the biggest & funnest for Everyone.

Once inside our heroes take a look around them, and Pinkie Pie says "Holey Moley this place is HHUUUUUUUUUUUUU(stops to take a breath of air)UUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGEEE!".

Discord then says "Thank You, I wasn't exaggerating about this place".

Screwball then explains "You see the entire Park is built inside a Pocket Dimension that exists Outside of Equestria's Home Dimension, the Passes I gave you are the only way to get in here without having to ask either Me or Discord to bring you here, forged from pure Chaos Magic there is virtually no limit to how big it can get, and in this Dimension the power of Chaos Magic Wielders are amplified to near infinite levels, allowing Discord & I to be able to constantly expand & change the Park how ever we want it, when ever we want to with pretty much no limitations at all, we can even create an endless number of clones of ourselves to help us run the entire Park, no matter where you go there will be Discords & Screwballs operating everything".

Rarity then comments "OK even I have to admit, that is extremely impressive, (then speaking to herself)sure wish I could do something like That with my boutique".

Then Twilight notices that the Gate that brought them here closes, then it glows & changes back into the Passes that they were given earlier, the Passes then float back into the possession our heroes, Twilight then in a Worried state asks "Hey, What happened to the Gate that brought us here?!".

Screwball replies "Don't Worry, the Passes do that once you're here, so that they can be used for everything here, and once you're done & ready to leave, you just have to hold out your Pass & say the word "Tergiversate" meaning to leave or depart, and they'll open the way back home for you, just don't say it until you're truly ready to leave, because there is so much here to explore & experience, and make sure you don't lose those Passes because they Are you're only way back home, if you lose them just ask a Discord or Screwball for assistance".

When Spike hears that, he makes a shocked expression, then he looks at his Pass, then he hugs it really tight like he wants to protect it with his very life.

Pinkie Pie then says "Well what are we waiting for? Since we're here we might as well have lots of fun, So what do you want to do first?".

Applejack then asks "Where do we even begin?".

Discord then tosses something to Twilight while saying "Well we do have Holo-Maps of the entire Park, you can find them at any Information Booth located throughout the Park".

Twilight catches the little device that looks like a Vanilla Wafer cookie-sized rock-shaped tool, and a holographic display of the Map appears right before her, the Mane 6 & Spike then look over what the Park has to offer.

Applejack says "They have a Western Style Rodeo? Sounds right up my alley".

Rainbow Dash says "Cloud Surfing?! Awesome!, I haven't done that in ages!".

Rarity says "Cosplay Corner? An entire area dedicated to Cosplay? Oh, I adore Cosplay, Dressing up like someone else in whatever kind of outfit you want, and getting to act like someone you're Not, it's simply delightful".

Fluttershy says "They have a Petting Zoo? Why that sounds Wonderful".

Spike says "Laser Tag?! I Love Laser Tag!".

Twilight says "They even have a bunch of combination Library-Bookstores with Coffee Shops, This place has just about Everything for Everyone!".

Pinkie Pie says "And just look at all those Spinny Rides, I want to try them all until I'm super duper dizzy!".

Screwball then throws at Pinkie "Then again when have you ever Not been That?!".

Which makes the others all laugh because it's so true, but Pinkie just goes "Hey!".

Twilight then gets serious again and says "There's so much to do, but this place is so big how are we supposed to get around?".

Discord then says "Well you can always just use the Teleport-a-Pods".

And he directs them to a nearby Pod, which is a large cylinder-shaped structure relatively the size of a large tool/storage shed, functions similar to an elevator, but is way more futuristic.

Discord then makes like a game-show host while Screwball dressed in a sparkly red dress & wearing a blonde heart-shaped afro wig modeling at the Pod, Discord then announces "Yes the Teleport-a-Pods, These little beauties can take you anywhere in the Park instantly, simply step inside the Pod within the Station, select your destination, (then two sets of doors close, one set for the Pod, and the other for the Station)then while inside the Pod, the Station will break you down molecule by molecule, whisk you away through the very fabric of Space itself, (then he pulls out a TV Screen to show what happened to the Pod)and have you reassembled in another Station at your very destination perfectly safe & in tact, just make sure that there is a Pod within the Station before you get in, the Pods ensure that the process is completely stable & safe to use, because otherwise your molecules could end up scattered through out Thousands of different Dimensions, and you could end up reassembled as a Puddle of Goo, or even have your Innards, become your Outards, fortunately these Stations come equipped with these special Recorrectioning Rods, which can undo any type of damage done by this system just in case of such an emergency, that's the Teleport-a-Pods, the Fastest & Mostly the Safest method of Speedy Transportation here at the Chaotic Kingdom, Back to You Discord!".

Then Discord switches back to himself and says "Thank You Discord, so friends, step right up & select where-ever you want to go, and you'll get there in a Snap (and he snaps his fingers, which summons a cup with a slushy inside & a silly straw, which he then slurps down, sucking the actual cup itself & the straw up in the end and he says) aaah, advertising your own business sure is thirsty work".

Author's Note

Just think of the Chaotic Kingdom as what Discord's Realm from the Official Series would have been like if Discord had built an Amusement/Theme Park in there instead of just a Small House surrounded by a bunch of Randomly Nonsensical Stuff.

Exploring the Chaotic Kingdom

The Mane 6 + Spike spend some time exploring the Chaotic Kingdom and it's many attractions, including the Haunted House, with Real Ghosts & Monsters(who while not performing are in actuality more afraid of the visitors than the visitors are afraid of them).

The Volcanic Drop, a Tower Drop ride with Super Heat Shields that actually goes through an Active Volcano with Real Magma, passing under ground going into one Volcano & out another.

The Disco Moon, which is large replica of the Moon that is also a giant Disco Ball that you can dance on(complete with it's own gravitational pull).

Tilt 'n Whirl Bumper Boats, the boat equivalent of Bumper Cars, but they're constantly spinning around while the water has constantly shifting currents.

The Classical Country-style Hayride, which is basically what the name suggests(hey not everything at this Park has to be something ridiculous).

The Mobius-Strip Roller Derby, a roller derby rink that constantly bends, loops & twists around with gravity defying courses.

The Carousel Express, a Train Ride where the seats keep moving up & down like a merry-go-round.

Lots of stage & musical performances done by many clones of Discord & Screwball.

And many more attractions, some you'd commonly expect to find in an Amusement/Theme Park, and some that go beyond one's own imagination.

They later decide to stop for a bite to eat, however when they get to one of the many Food Courts through out the Park, Pinkie Pie's eye's bulge up to the size of basketballs at the very sight at what's there to eat, this enormous Food Court makes Willy Wonka's Candy Forest look like nothing but a single box of plain raisins.

Pinkie then says "I Think I found my own little slice of Shangri-La, I mean would you look at all the stuff they have to eat here, Triple-Decker Chili Cheese Veggie-Burgers, Ice-Cream Tacos with Spicy Chocolate Sauce, Air-Fried Cherry-Changas, Trees that grow Donuts of All kinds, Flower Beds that grow Chocolate coated Graham Cracker Roses with Mashmallowy centers, Corn Stalks that grow Candy Corn on the Cob, Fruity Gummy Hedge Sculptures, Sink Faucets that dispenses multiple flavors of Slushies, Swimming Pools full of different flavors of Popcorn, a Fountain that dispenses Pizza Slices, they even have...Barbecued...Everything! From Grilled Fruits & Vegetables, To Grilled Cheese Sandwiches, To Barbecue Baked Cakes, There's Even Barbecued Pudding! (Pinkie then gets all jittery, not from her Pinkie Sense, but from Pure Excitement, then says)Must...Try...Them...All!", she then goes on an Eating Binge/Frenzy.

Twilight tries to stop her, but Applejack just stops Twilight & says "Don't even bother, once that Pony gets started, there's no stoppin' her".

So while Pinkie is going around eating like crazy, the rest of our heroes just sit down and eat some simple stuff like sandwiches, salads, pastas, soups, and Spike even found a spot that serves Gem-Based Foods suitable for Dragons.

Some Time later our heroes look for Pinkie Pie, when they find her, she's lying on the ground, covered in splats of Chocolate, Whip Cream, Frosting, Syrup & Cheese, she's eaten so much that she now looks like blimp, and she's moaning & groaning in pain because she has a serious stomach ache.

Rainbow Dash then tells Pinkie "This is what you get for losing your self-control & over-doing it".

Pinkie then says "No Way, I still haven't even tried half of all the stuff here(BUURRP! Groans in Pain)".

Fluttershy then says "Oh Dear, This looks seriously bad".

Rarity then replies "I agree, we should get her to a Doctor".

Just then Screwball then pops out of nowhere and says "You mean like Me?", this takes our heroes by surprise & they freak out.

Twilight then says "No, we mean a Medical Doctor to help Pinkie".

Screwball then says "Worry Not, we anticipated something like this, and have just the method to resolve it", a coiled cable then drops down from out of nowhere, at the end of this cable is a rod-shaped remote control with a single little button, Screwball then uses the curls in her tail like fingers to grab the remote & presses the button, then Pinkie is swallowed by a crazy looking machine with accordion pump-like things on the top & bottom of it, the machine then begins making crazy movements & unusual looking functions.

Screwball then explains "As we speak, this contraption is inducing hyper-metabolism for faster digestion, infusing all-natural ingredients to soothe the stomach & digestive system of pain & irritation, and a deep detoxification to cleanse her body of various toxins & harmful impurities, trust me, this will do much more for her than just cure her of her stomach ache", after the machine finishes it's crazy movements, it stops moving & makes the sound of a toilet flushing, then the machine releases Pinkie Pie & returns from where ever it came from.

Pinkie then says "WOW, I feel like a Million Parties begin held all at the exact same time, well now that That's over with, it's time for the Second Course".

Just then Twilight uses her levitation spell on Pinkie and says "Oh No, You're Not going through That again!".

Then Pinkie unsuccessfully struggles to try & free herself while saying "Ah Come On Guys, Going Through That Machine's Made Me Hungry All Over Again, And I still haven't even tried the Elastic Ice-Cream Yeeeet!".

Rainbow Dash then implies "Tough Love Pinkie, Tough Love", and our heroes finally leave the Food Court to further explore the Park.

Author's Note

When Pinkie said "And I haven't even tried the Elastic Ice Cream Yeeeet!"
I envisioned her saying it the same way Bubbles of the Powerpuff Girls (2016) said "But Where Does The Red Car Goooo?!" in the episode 'Puffdora's Box',

A night's stay at the Resort, then a morning Shopping Spree

With it getting pretty late, our heroes start taking about how they're starting to feel exhausted, when Discord overhears that they're tired, he suggests that they try staying at one of the many In-Park Resorts, explaining that they have comfortable hotel lodgings, delectable food & drinks, relaxing spas, various forms of recreations, sports, entertainment & even shopping centers, the Mane 6 & Spike decide "Why Not?", and they head to the nearest resort from their current location.

Once they enter the hotel, they are greeted by several Discords & Screwballs who act as the hotel staff & crew, our heroes then sign in at the front desk with a Discord Desk Clerk, who informs them of all the great accommodations that the hotel offers while the guests stay, and tells them that if they ever need room service during their stay they just need to give them a buzz, and a great big Bee then stings Discord on the nose, who then shouts in pain & says "Not THAT Kind of a Buzz!", the Mane 6 + Spike are then escorted to their rooms by a Screwball Bellhop, who actually Hops around while wearing Bells.

When they reach their rooms, they open the doors, but all that's there is an empty white room with only a panel next to the door, Screwball directs their attention to said panel, explaining that the room utilizes Cha-o-Graphic(pronounced K-O-Graphic) Projection Magic, that's kind of like holograms made of Chaos Magical Energy instead of light, giving them a solid feeling & making them as if they were real, the panel scans you, reads your mind, and sets up a room that is like the room you've always dreamed of having, filled with all of the things that would make you happy & comfortable for your stay.

Each one of our heroes gets a room all to themselves, when Twilight uses the panel, her room becomes a maze full of wall-to-wall shelves filled with books as far as the eyes can see, even her bed is inside of a giant book

When Rainbow Dash uses the panel, her room becomes every Wonderbolt Fan's dream bedroom, everything is Wonderbolt themed from top to bottom, even her bed has a rainbow-colored headboard that says "#1 Wonderbolt".

When Pinkie Pie uses the panel, her room becomes a land made of candy similar to Sugar Rush from Wreck-it Ralph, complete with Candy Cane Trees, a Chocolate Swimming Pool, and a Bed made out of Cakes of all kind of flavors.

When Applejack uses the panel, her room becomes completely Country Themed, even more Country-style than her own farm house, even her bed is a giant hay bale shaped like a bed covered with a hoof-sewn quilted comforter.

When Rarity uses the panel, her room becomes something befitting to a Victorian-era Queen, including the bed, everything was perfectly symmetrical, organized & elegant, basically something that Discord would consider awful.

When Fluttershy uses the panel, her room becomes a beautiful forest full of trees & animals, and her bed was just a hammock tied between two trees, with a pillow & blanket, so that she could sleep under the beauty of nature itself.

When Spike uses the panel, his room becomes a crystal cave filled with tons of gems, a bunch of statues of himself made of solid gold, and his bed is a red-hot bed of hot coals, which his dense dragon-hide finds very soothing & comforting.

After a nice night at their lodgings, our heroes head to the banquet hall, where they are treated to a hearty breakfast.

Later they head to one of the many gift shops, where they are greeted by more Discords & Screwballs, who inform them that because they have Diamond Rank Passes, they have limitless access to everything in the shops, and everything in these shops are Free of charge, and they have an unbelievably large amount of a numerous variety of products, from cheapo dollar-store products, to massively expensive stuff like chariots, carriages, even boats & hot-air balloons, of course Everything bares the Chaotic Kingdom brand logo with Discord's Face on it, so they all are pretty much just free advertisement for the Park that they came from, Discord gives the Mane 6 + Spike special V.I.P. shopping bags, which are very tiny, but Screwball explains that these special bags are actually hyperspace storage containers, that allows them to have a near endless amount of items of any size stored within them, and no matter what, or how much they store into the bags, they remain small & light in weight, so with that, our heroes then go on a shopping spree, they get a lot of stuff, despite the fact that the Chaotic Kingdom logo on everything is kind of a turn off for them.

Positive Reviews and the trip back home

Finally the Mane 6 + Spike decide that it's time to head home, but before they go, Discord & Screwball insist that they take a short survey to give them a review on how they felt about their experience at the Chaotic Kingdom, they each give a decent review, writing about how they had a good time, and a lot of fun, but as expected they were a little weirded out by how chaotic things were, yet still it was a wonderful experience, Discord & Screwball literally burst(like confetti filled balloons) with joy, then instantly reassemble themselves from the tiny shreds, and they are both happy that the Chaotic Kingdom was a success, the two of them then wish our heroes happy trails.

The Mane 6 + Spike then take out their Passes, and say the word "Tergiversate", then just like before their Passes transform into the Exit leading back to Ponyville, right back at the exact same place they were at when they left in the first place, then our heroes walk through the gate, then Discord & Screwball wishes them all a Happy Tuesday Afternoon, then the gate reverts back into the seven Passes that they originally were, then the Passes float back into the possession of our heroes.

But then Twilight asks in shock "Wait, Did they say Tuesday Afternoon?!", the rest of the Mane 6 & Spike then realize Twilight is right, they then check all of the calendars & clocks in town, they wonder how that's even possible since they know that they've spent at least twenty-four hours in Discord's Amusement Park, so it Should be Wednesday but it's Still Tuesday.

Then Screwball pops out from under Applejack's hat and tells them "Oh Yeah, forgot to mention", she then floats around our heroes upside-down while saying "The Dimension that the Chaotic Kingdom resides in, is not bound by the rules of Time, despite the fact that you spent a whole day & night at the Park, it turns out that you've only been away from Ponyville for a few measly minutes, it's a crafty method we came up with to allow our guests to have lots of fun when they don't have the time, like, if you don't have enough for that desperately needed vacation, you could spend weeks having fun & relaxing in the Chaotic Kingdom in less than the time it would take for you to use the bathroom, heck, you could even stay in the Chaotic Kingdom for fifty years, and you wouldn't age by even a day, then you just return home as if you never even left in the first place".

Twilight then says "That is Incredible!".

Screwball then comes face-to-face with Twilight and says "I Know Right?! Just wait til everyone else in Equestria & Beyond learns about it", then Screwball winds up her torso, then makes like a tornado propelled comet & zips away.

Screwball then multiplies herself, spreads herselves all over Ponyville, sets up advertising booths, and begins handing out Bronze Rank Lifetime Passes to everyone, allowing them all to come to Chaotic Kingdom anytime they want.

Later on Screwball explains to everyone just how the Passes really work, turns out that the Passes start out Bronze Rank, putting lots of limits & restrictions on what you're allowed to do, where you're allowed to go, & how much you're allow to have while in the Park, but as you explore the Chaotic Kingdom, the more places you go to, the more things you do, the more attractions you see, the more merchandise you get, and the more foods you eat, you gain experience points, the more XPs you get, the more you're Passes level up, when they level up enough, they ascend up a higher rank, and the higher the rank, the fewer limitations & restrictions you have to the Amusement Park, the ranks start at Bronze, then go to Silver, then Gold, then Platinum, and finally Diamond, once they reach Diamond Rank, the Passes have no limits & no restrictions to the things that are open to the Public within the Park.

Soon all of Ponyville begins going to the Chaotic Kingdom to have a real good time, even the Royal Princess Sisters attend the Park, naturally they are given Diamond Rank Passes from the start since they are obviously V.I.P.s, with all of the fun & wondrous things the Chaotic Kingdom has to offer, the Ponies' opinions & outlook on Discord start to change, and most of Equestria no longer sees him as the Monster that he was depict as in the history books, and the Chaotic Kingdom Amusement Park becomes a roaring success.

Meet the Parents

Of Course Discord & Screwball's time was not always spent running the Amusement Park, not only did they join the Mane 6 & their friends in many of their adventures & slice-of-life/sit-com exploits, but they would often travel through Space, Time & other Dimensions, wether they went on sight seeing tours, attending/throwing parties, having amazing adventures, defeating evil characters, or just hanging out with friends, they had good times, sometimes they did things solo, sometimes with each other, and sometimes they'd bring company, sometimes they did things with or against alternate versions of themselves from parallel universes, depending on the reality of which dimension.

They also went on romantic dates, but their ideas of romance were pretty peculiar, such as ice skating on the tail of a comet, eating frozen yogurt while soaking in a volcano as if it were a jacuzzi, having a picnic in the middle of a battlefield on a war barren planet in another dimension, but it still made them happy.

However there was the incident of Screwball introducing Discord to her Parents, you can only imagine how shocked(and that's putting it lightly) Mr. & Mrs. Dr. Ballentine were when they saw what had happened to their only daughter, and that her boyfriend was none other than the legendary King of Chaos from tales of Ancient Equestria.

Naturally they put up quite a fuss over this, telling Screwball that she's become a Freak, and even going so far as to call Discord a Monster, but Screwball stood up for both herself & Discord, telling them that Discord is actually a nice, sweet & caring guy who makes her laugh, she also points out those funny faces that he makes.

Screwball then morphs her head into a giant gaping mouth, with dome-shaped teeth that have large gaps between them, a long stretched-out tongue, tentacle-like eyes on the top, and only strands of her hair sticking out of the back of her mouth-head, and letting out a bellowing scream, then she moves her tenticle-like eyes down to the bottom of her mouth-head and giggles while using her stretched-out tongue to lick her eyeballs, then she engulfs her mouth-head into her torso, then her normal head pops back out.

And she tells her parents that Discord makes her happy, something that she hasn't felt since her foalhood, and that That should be enough for them, and that they were going to have to get used to having a Chaos Powered Freak for a Daughter, and Not treat Discord so terribly.

So despite getting off to a bumpy start, Screwball's Parents became more accepting of what happened to their daughter, and eventually Discord grew on them(I think).

Author's Note

I basically based Screwball's Mouth-Head Thing from a scene from The Mask Animated Series(1995) episode "The Bride of Pretorius", where we are introduced to a one-off character called "Eve"(the She-Mask).

Popping The Big Question

But at one point in time, Discord discovered a confirmation to something that he was worried about for quite a while now, even with those Chaos Powers she possessed, and those Cartoon Physics abilities that allowed her to get sliced to pieces, smashed by heavy objects, burned to a crisp, blown into a million pieces, and simultaneously recover, regenerate and/or heal herself back to normal as if nothing had even happened to her, and not feel any actual pain, despite her actually enjoying getting injured.

The incident that transformed her from Dr. Scarabew Ballentine into Screwball didn't simply fill her body with a large amount of Chaos Magic that she could wield at will, because she was holding onto Discord so tightly when the Rainbow struck him, the Elements of Harmony managed to alter her very DNA to become something that closer resembles Discord's but still remains similar to her Original Self, thus mutating her into a full fledged Being of Chaos in the physical form of a Pony.

So she wasn't just virtually indestructible, she was a genuine Immortal just like him, which meant that she was going to out-live everyone & everything that she ever loved & cared about, Discord understood the heart-wrenching loneliness that comes with immortality, and he didn't want Screwball to go through that as well, she needed someone who could stay by her side for all eternity, and since he cared so much for her, he knew what he had to do.

So on the one year anniversary of the day they first met, Discord met with Screwball and told her the bad news, that she was going to live forever, and everyone she loved would have life expectancies that would feel like the time it would take to extinguish a candle to her, and Discord speaks from countless centuries worth of experience when he talks about the painful loneliness he's been through, and he tells Screwball that he doesn't want her to have to go through That feeling herself.

So Discord then gets down on his knee(or lay on his stomach in this case since he's so tall & has a serpent-like torso), he then pulls out a small black box, he then opens the box revealing a faux diamond, so misshapen that it looks like it hasn't even been cut yet, and full of so many flaws that it looks like a bunch of multi-colored shards all mashed-up with each other, he then proposes to Screwball asking her to Marry Him.

After hearing him say that, Screwball then gets super excited, sucks her head into her torso, then blasts it out like a cannon, sending her head up high into the sky, then her head explodes like a fireworks show, the fireworks then actually move around like they are made of sentient lights, we see Screwball's head move & making images of her whole body performing acrobatic feats, while we actually hear Screwball's voice within the fireworks show shouting "YES! yes(x9) A Billion Times YYEEEEESSSSSS!!!", then her head falls back down, returning within her torso, then her head pops back out all scorched & covered in black soot, she then shakes off the soot returning her head back to normal, then she clears her throat & more calmly says "Of Course I'll merry you Discord", Discord then shows off his excitement in a more watered-down way than how Screwball did just now.

Space Pirate Bachelorette Weekend

As part of a special Bachelorette Weekend Getaway, Screwball brings the Mane 6 on a crazy Space-Pirate adventure, where they sail around Space in a star-ship designed to resemble an old-fashioned pirate-ship, and they battle against hordes of alien space-pirates, steal a treasure map, take on a fierce Alien Pirate Admiral & his cut-throat crew, narrowly survive several deadly space anomalies and hostile alien Flora & Fauna, locate the treasure(namely a large chest full of alien valuables), find someway to defeat the Pirate Admiral, and claim the treasure, the Mane 6 discuss what they should do with the treasure, but Screwball knows exactly what to do with it.

The picture then switches to an alien orphanage, in a run down old structure, where the staff tried their best to keep things good, but they were too much in debt, and over a dozen miserable, starving orphans so hungry that they were willing to eat whatever the floor was made of.

Then a loud knocking came at the front door, which causes the door to collapse, Screwball & the Mane 6(still in their Space Pirate outfits) momentarily stare at the collapsed door in silent shock, then they barge in still acting all Pirate-like, this of course frightens everyone in the orphanage, and they all huddle close to each other in startlement.

Then Screwball says to them in a pirate accent "Yarr, we come barrin' a gift for ye poor unfortunate lubbers", she then takes her hind leg & pushes the treasure chest towards the orphanage's residents, the chest then pops open revealing to them the valuables within, somehow Screwball was aware that this orphanage was located in a place where this treasure was an acceptable form of currency, she then says while still in pirate accent "This 'ere booty should cover all of ye debts, and leave ye with more than enough left over to make this salty old flotsam of yers more shipshape than t'ever was before a-ha-ha-ar".

It took the orphanage residents a moment, then they quickly came to understand what Screwball was talking about & intending to do, then the head of the orphanage came up & spoke to them in a strange alien language, but Screwball was able to understand it as giving thanks & gratitude.

Screwball then says in her normal speech "Eh it was nothing really, just wanted to do something unforgettable before I got married to my fiance, (then she takes off her pirate hat & starts spin-waving it around over her head while shouting)Best Bachelorette Weekend Getaway EVER, WOOHOO!!!, (then she walks out saying to the Mane 6)now let's get back to Equestria girls, I have a wedding to be in".

Rarity then quietly says to Applejack "Of all the things we could have done for her bachelorette party, she chose to do This?!".

Applejack replies "Well the important thing is that she had fun before her big day".

Then Rainbow Dash says "Not to mention how Totally Awesome This Was, I mean we got to be Pirates, IN SPACE!!! It just doesn't get much cooler than That!".

Twilight says "I admit it was great to travel across the stars & visit other planets, even though I almost got eaten by that one alien plant".

Pinkie Pie says "Plus it was hilarious how Screwball got all of those meany pirates to sing & dance so that we could make a clean getaway".

Fluttershy says "And giving all of the treasure away to a rundown alien orphanage full of starving orphans, it was the perfect way to end this whole adventure".

Rarity then says "hmm, I suppose you're right, besides, seeing all of those alien attires & environments has given me plenty of ideas for new fashion styles".

Applejack then says "So all & all it was worth it just to make Screwball happy", and the others all agree to that & just leave it there.

Author's Note

I was basically inspired to do this chapter by the 'Marvel's Avengers: Secret Wars' episode 'The Vibranium Coast', where the Avengers & several other Marvel Characters got teleported to the Beyonder's Battle World, and Ms. Marvel(Kamala Khan) & Ant-Man(Scott Lang) were put in a situation where they had to team-up with a Pirate version of Typhoid Mary & her Monkey sidekick Coco, to take on Pirate versions of Red Skull & Crossbones.

The Marriage of Discord

A few weeks after Discord & Screwball's Engagement, they have everything set up for the wedding, they decided to hold the wedding within the Chaotic Kingdom Amusement Park, advertising it as a big & special event that no one would want to miss out on, this allows it so that everyone could attend the wedding without using up very much of their own time.

It was being held in a huge empty lot meant for Large Party Reservations, they had big tents set up for dressing rooms among other purposes, there were lots of Discord & Screwball clones working as the staff, and they were specially dressed so that everyone could tell that they were just magically forged copies and not the Originals who were getting married.

Princess Celestia herself agreed to be their Marriage Officiant, the Mane 6 agreed to be Screwball's Bridesmaids, with Princess Luna as the Maid of Honor, and Spike as the Best Man, and the CMC were the Flower-Girls, many ponies & creatures from all over Equestria & beyond showed up for this wedding, including Prince Shining Armor & Princess Cadence(who have only been married a few short months now), and Discord's old friend The (FiM)Smooze, Screwball's Parents were reluctantly there as well(if only to see their daughter on her big day).

The Mane 6 were in the Bride's Tent with Screwball, helping her with preparations, Screwball then did the old 'unzip yourself to reveal you were wearing a full body disguise' cartoon gag to reveal herself wearing her own bridal gown, which was like any other bridal gown except for the fact that it was filled with a bunch of random colors, design styles & patterns that all clashed like crazy, Screwball then asks the Mane 6 how she looked.

Rarity acted like she was going to be sick just from the sight of such a mixed-up designed outfit and simply says "You look beautiful Darling".

Applejack adds in "Yeah if you were going for Something an Art Museum Sneezed Out".

Rarity responds "Applejack!".

But then Screwball blushes & replies "Aw Thanks, That's so Sweet of you to say".

Suddenly Spike barges into the Bridal Tent looking like he's panicking over something, Twilight asks Spike if something is wrong, Spike informs the Mane 6 that Discord is getting Cold Feet & thinking about calling the wedding off, The Mane 6 are shocked but don't want Screwball to worry about this, so Fluttershy volunteers to talk to him while the others keep Screwball distracted.

When Fluttershy spoke with Discord she reminds him that This whole thing was his idea in the first place, and that he was the one who proposed to Screwball because he didn't want her to literally spend all eternity alone like he did for so long, Discord is aware of all of that but starts acting nervous & talking without actually saying anything.

Fluttershy asks if he's afraid, Discord replies by getting boastful & bragging about how awesome he is, many of the incredible things he's done, and a bunch of the horrible monsters & wicked villains he's face & defeated, then he says "So what have I got to be afraid of?! After all I'm only getting M-M-M(stuttering uncontrollably)", and he ends up getting nervous anyways.

Fluttershy then asks Discord to remind him of how he really feels about Screwball, Discord then says "What kind of Question is THAT? She was the first being in Ages that saw me as a Person with a Personality, instead of some Beastly Monstrosity that needed to be contained, or a Plague that needed to be cured, she figured out what my real problem was, and set me on a better path where I was able to find acceptance in a society that greatly misunderstood me, I wouldn't even be here right now if it weren't for her, she makes me feel whole, like whatever void I had in my heart for all these millennia was filled the day I met her, I feel like living forever & being chaotic would all be worthless & pointless without her by my side, I would give anything, Do anything, to have her with me for all eternity & make her happy".

Fluttershy then assertively asks "Really?".

Discord replies "Yes!".

Fluttershy then grabs Discord by the face and looks him dead in the eyes while saying "Then what are you stalling for, get out there and show that Mare that she's the Luckiest *Censored* Alive, because she'll have You as her Husband!".

That definitely snapped Discord out of his pre-wedding jitters, he then puts on his wedding attire which is in a similar fashion to Screwball's wedding attire, and the wedding proceeds as planned.

The ceremony begins much like you'd expect a wedding to, aside from a few random bursts of silliness out of Discord & Screwball.

When the ring bearer brought forth the wedding rings(which were made for fingers), Screwball took her tail, used the curls in her tail's hair like fingers, made it look as if it was a hand with a thumb sticking out, then blew into her tail, then both of her front hooves swelled up until they popped into a pair of human hands, She & Discord then place the rings on each other's fingers, Screwball then does that same trick with her tail, but this time she sucks on it, which causes her hands to get sucked back into hooves, and she's keeping her wedding ring inside of her hoof for safe keeping.

Finally Celestia pronounces Discord & Screwball, Husband and Wife, then informs Discord that he may now kiss the bride, and their marriage is sealed with a kiss.

Later we see the wedding party, which had good food, awesome music by DJ PON3, and all sorts of dancing.

Upon reaching the wedding carriage, Screwball throws the bouquet, then Rarity frantically tries to catch it, but when she does, she finds out that it's not a bouquet of Flowers, but a bouquet of multicolored Fishes, which totally grosses her out, the King & Queen of Chaos manage to see Rarity's reaction and get a good laugh out of it before closing the carriage door.

Then the horseless carriage has a giant set of wings sprout out of the wheels, then the carriage starts flapping said wings & takes to the skies, then it starts to glow, then does that 'warp into hyperspace' thing.

And while all of the Copies helped make sure everyone got home safely and took care of the clean-up.

The Original Discord & Screwball spent their honeymoon on a small planet located somewhere in the Draconis Nebula, the planet was teaming with life like a rain-forest, and had a phenomenal multicolored cosmic formation in the sky, this place was so beautiful that it made a Full Moon lit Paris France look like some redneck's uncleaned outhouse, in other words they had a wonderfully romantic time.

Author's Note

Yeah I now what a lot of you out there are thinking, it feels weird & disturbing to have a version of Screwball who is Discord's WIFE!, but there are multiple variations of Screwball throughout the Multiverse that makes up the MLP Fandom,

there's versions of her where she's depict as either a young Filly or a full grown Mare, sometimes Both,

versions of her where she's not even a Real Pony, but just a physical manifestation of Chaos Magic that Discord created out of nothingness, or an artificial life-form that Discord made by accident,

versions where she's the Alter Ego of someone else that Discord messed with, like some OC Pony, or Derpy, or Diamond Tiara, or Nurse Sweetheart, or Pinkie Pie, or even Twilight Sparkle, either as a permanent transformation or some sort of a Jekyll & Hyde complex,

versions where she's the Biological Daughter of Discord, like she was made by Discord with out the need for a mother, or her mother was Fluttershy, or Celestia,

versions where she was Diamond Tiara's Mother, or her Aunt, or even her Older Sister or Twin Sister,

versions where she's so random that she's incomprehensible, like she speaks in complete gibberish, or talks backwards like DC Comics Bizarro, or just makes nothing but lots of sound effects instead of using actual words like Gerald McBoing Boing,

versions where she's depict as a Mindless Pony-like creature that had the subconsciousness of a Human being transferred into her head due to Discord's Chaos or something like that,

versions of her where she's just a Minion of Discord created to help him,

versions of her where she's the Bad Guy & others where she's the Good Guy,

So if there can be multiple different variations of Screwball, then Why Not have a version of Screwball who was Discord's Wife?

I mean DC Comics has made some Alternate versions of Batman where Barbara Gordon was the name of James Gordon's Wife instead of his Daughter's, they've even done at least one Alt. Batman where Jim Gordon had a Son instead of a Daughter, There for, If DC Comics can do something like That with Batman's the Gordon Family, then what's to stop the Fandom from doing something similar to that with MLP Characters?

So I guess that if a Ship was made from This, it might be called something like ScrewCord, or maybe DisBall, or something like that.

Just call me Screwball

After Twilight and the Mane 6 explain to Celestia what has been going on, Screwball then uses visual aids & explains to them all her Psychological Diagnosis of Discord from the day she had spent with him, explaining that he did what he did to the Mane 6 because he saw them as a threat, and how ruining their friendship was only for defensive purposes, until she gets to the part involving the Magic Rainbow and says "And so you see, because Discord had a different mind set & a change of heart, the Elements sensed that he was no longer the threat that he used to be taken for, so instead of sealing him in stone like last time, the Rainbow purged everyone & everything of all of the Chaos Magic that Discord had spread throughout Ponyville & beyond, and returned it all back to where it all came from, Discord himself".

Then Discord butts in and adds "But because you were in such close physical contact with me when the Rainbow hit me, all of That Chaos Magic ended up getting transferred into You, there by changing you into what you are now".

Screwball then pulls her head into her torso, pops a ringing round signaling bell out of her neck, then the bell gets pulled back into her torso, and her head pops back out and she over-excitedly says "That's Correct, That's Absolutely Correct!", all while she sticks a carrot in Discord's mouth, then uses the curls in her tail like a hand to light a match, then lights the carrot's top on fire, then it makes the sound of a burning fuse, then like a bomb the carrot explodes in Discord's face, then when the smoke clears, Discord's head looks like a pile of ashes in the shape of his head, then Screwball gently blows at Discord's head, blowing the ashes away revealing that his head is gone, then he just pops a fresh new head right out of his neck.

He then bursts out laughing and says "The Explosive Carrot Gag, hahaha Classic!".

The Mane 6 & Celestia just stand there speechless, still needing a few seconds to take all of this in at one time, finally Celestia breaks the silence by stupefyingly saying "Wow, that is just, just...".

Then Pinkie interrupts and says "It's so great that there is no single word to describe it!".

Screwball then pops her head out of Pinkie's mane and says "I can think of one", she then floats out of Pinkie's mane, lands on the ground and say's "Try, 'Supercatifrogilicoricextrapickledonuts".

Pinkie then says "Oooh, That's a Good One!".

Screwball tells Pinkie "Feel free to use it anytime".

Twilight then walks over, places her hoof on Screwball's shoulder and says "Dr. Ballentine, I swear, we'll do everything we can to change you back to your old self again".

Screwball then sticks her face up to Twilight's and says "Are You Kidding Me?!" (she then flies around right above everyone and says)This is WAY Better than how I used to be, (then floats right next to Discord & says)plus this gives me & Discie much more in common, why ever would I even Want to go back to how I was before?".

Twilight replies "But you're the most successful Psychotherapist in all of Equestria! You don't seriously want to throw all of That away just to be like This do you?".

Rarity then adds "Yes Darling, Why ever would you want to be more like Discord?".

Screwball then stretches her neck so that her head can speak to them at a closer range while the rest of her is still far away and says "Well first of all for your information, despite all of my so called (using her ears to do Air Quotes)'Success', my life has been a swirling cauldron of Misery & (she then morphs her mouth to look like a megaphone and says)BOOORDOOOOOM!", and Twilight & Rarity's manes get messed up from Screwball's amplified voice, then Screwball retracts her neck back to her body which is still floating next to Discord and she says "But more importantly, (she then holds Discord's Lion-Arm and says)Because I LOVE Him!".

This makes everyone shout "WHAAAAT!!!!!!!".

Then Rainbow Dash flies right in front of Screwball and says "What do you mean You LOVE Him!".

Twilight then runs up to them and asks Screwball "Why would an Intelligent/Logical Pony like You possibly ever fall for a being of Chaos like HIM!".

Screwball then floats around them and explains "Because he's the first being to actually make me Laugh in I-Don't-Even-Know-How-Long, and he reminded me of what I was like before I became the stoic little sad-sack I was known for, (she then zips up a zipper that appeared out of nowhere & she's then dressed in a Clown Costume and says)I always wanted to be a Clown who could spread Fun & Joy everywhere I went, (then she says more to herself)Though now that I think about it That would be much more accomplishable now that I have Chaos Powers & all, (then she unzips the Clown costume off making it disappear & returning to her usual pony nudity and says)anyways, Discord has brought Merriment & Excitement back into my life, and I can't imagine a day without him, (she then places on a 1920's Gangster-like fedora, while holding an asparagus stalk in her teeth, she then speaks in a male voice with an accent similar to that of actor Edward G. Robinson saying)So I couldn't let you turn him back into an oversized garden decoration, see?".

Fluttershy then flies up to Discord and asks "And, Do You feel the same way about her that she feels about you?".

Discord replies "Of Course I Do, Screwball here was able to see past my monstrous appearance, my intimidating powers, and my unusual demeanor, and see me for who I'm really like at heart, she gave me a chance when no pony else would even give me the time of day, no pony has ever done so much for me before, and I admit, she has stolen my heart, Figuratively of course, I didn't mean That one in any literal way, and now she can even keep up with me on a Chaotic Level".

Then Celestia says "Well there's still the matter of what we're going to do with you Discord, Despite the fact that no one was really hurt from all of this, the Ponies of Equestria are going to demand retribution for all of the trouble & inconveniences you caused them all".

Screwball then says to Celestia "Actually Princess, (she then pulls out a wallet with an extensive accordion style photo album-like card holder set filled with her doctoral licenses and says)despite my chaotic transfiguration, I am still a fully licensed Psychotherapist, (she then mentions her affiliactions with & a bunch of other stuff found within the Equestrian Legal System then tells Celestia)I insist that you turn Discord over into My Custody for Rehabilitation".

Then Rainbow Dash flies in front of Screwball saying "Rehabilitation?! Are you Kidding Me?! You're just as Crazy as He is, Maybe even More!".

Screwball than makes her head huge and shouts at Rainbow Rash "YOU AIN'T JUST WHISTLIN' DIXIE!", then her head reverts back to normal size and she kisses Rainbow on the lips, then Screwball starts bouncing around like a superball while mimicking Daffy Duck's classic "Woo-Hoo Woo-Hoo" sounds, then on one of her bounces she hits the 4th Wall Screen, stretches it out towards the viewers, then she's sling-shotted miles away & over the horizon, then she magically appears out of nowhere from behind Rainbow Dash and says "But Seriously, (she then grabs Rainbow Dash by the cheeks and starts playing with them while saying)with all of my Training, Experience & Expertise in the many fields of Mental Health, Do you really think that there's anypony else better qualified for this than little old me?".

With her cheeks all smushed together by Screwball's hooves Rainbow Dash says in a humorous way "Now that you mention it, No".

After giving it a little thought, Celestia then says "Very well Dr.-uh-Screwball, I here by place Discord into your custody to be rehabilitated, provided that he guarantees that he will never ever do anything like This ever again".

Discord then says "Oh no need to worry your pretty little crown off Princess, I no longer have any intentions of Ruling Equestria in Eternal Chaos, thanks to the good doctor here, I've realized a better use for my Powers, I plan to create, the first ever, Chaos Themed Amusement Park!".

The surprised Mane 6 & Celestia say "Amusement Park?!".

An excited Pinkie Pie then says "Ooh I Love Amusement Parks! They're Always Super Duper Fun!".

Discord then tells her "Well just wait until you get a load of what I have planned, it's going to be Bigger, Better and More Funtastical than Anything you've Ever seen Before!".

Pinkie replies "Oh I'm so excited I could just Burst!".

Then Screwball says "Here, let me help you with that", Screwball then grabs Pinkie by the lips, takes a deep breath, then blows into Pinkie's lips & inflates her head like a really big balloon, then Screwball uses the curls on her tail like a hand to hold a large needle, and pricks Pinkie's balloon head, and pops it leaving Pinkie without a head, then Screwball reaches into Pinkie's Torso & pulls out another Pinkie Pie head good as new.

Pinkie then tells Screwball "Oooh, Do That Again!".

Discord then says "Some other time maybe, This Amusement Park Project is going to take quite a while to build, especially if I had to do this All by Myself...".

Screwball then cuddles Discord and in a lovey-dovey way says "Well then, shall we get started together my Big, Strong Turducken?".

Discord replies in the same manner "Yes, let's get going my Sweet, Little Cherpumple", then Discord snaps his fingers & they both disappear.

Rainbow Dash then gags and says "Give me a Break!".

Twilight then asks Celestia "Princess Celestia, not to question your decision but, are you sure that This is a good idea?".

Celestia replies "I'll admit that I still have my doubts, but if the Elements of Harmony truly no longer see Discord as a Threat, then there has to be a reason for it, you knows, if even Discord can learn to fall in love & be loved in return, then maybe having him be reformed & becoming an ally, is all worth having Equestria's greatest Psychotherapist lose her own sanity, all we can do now is hold on to hope".

Twilight then says to her mentor "If you say so Princess, I just prey that you're right".

Author's Note

In case you didn't already guess, "Supercatifrogilicoricextrapickledonuts" is a play on the phrase Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, famously known from the 1964 Classic Disney film Mary Poppins.

Turning the EQG World's Dr. Scarabew Ballentine into a Human variant of Screwball

At some point before the events of the First EQG Movie, during one of their many travels to other dimensions, Discord & Screwball discovered the city of Canterlot, in the Human World featured in the Equestria Girls franchise, and thanks to their chaotic abilities, they don't necessarily transform into Human World Forms unless they want to.

It's here in the Canterlot of This World of Humans that they find Screwball's Human Counterpart, who is still merely Dr. Scarabew Ballentine the Psychiatrist/Psychotherapist due to there being no Chaos Magic Wielding Counterpart of Discord in this Universe, so the Human Dr. Ballentine is basically living the same sad & miserable life that Screwball used to live before she met Discord.

Feeling sympathetic towards Human Dr. Scarabew, Discord & Screwball find a place where she's alone and they appear right before her, this naturally freaks Dr. Ballentine out because she lives in a world Without Magical Creatures, then Discord & Screwball explain to her that they are beings of Chaos from another dimension, and that Screwball is another version of Dr. Ballentine that used to be just like her until she feel in love with Discord and got turned into a being of Chaos, and they want to help Dr. Ballentine live a better & more fulfilling life like Screwball has.

So they teleport Human Dr. Ballentine to the world containing the Chaotic Kingdom amusement park(with Dr. Ballentine still in her Human Form), they then conjure up a crazy machine that is meant to recreate the same event that turned Pony Scarabew Ballentine into Pony Screwball, and transform Human Scarabew Ballentine into a Human Screwball, unfortunately because Human Scarabew was born in a World Without Equestrian Magic as a natural part of it, her body was unable to accept & contain all of that Chaos Magic as a natural part of herself right of the bat.

So in order to be a wielder of Chaos Magic, Human Dr. Ballentine would need a crutch, something to act as a conduit that could contain all of that Chaos Magic, and transfer it into Human Scarabew so that she can become a Human Screwball until a time when she's able to have all of that Chaos Magic become a true part of herself.

Then Pony Screwball comes up with an idea and carves out a special wooden mask in the likeness of Discord, she then places the mask on her Human Counterpart's face, then all of that Chaos Magic is placed within said mask.

So they basically go with a 'Jim Carrey - The Mask Movie Scenario', from now on when Human Dr. Ballentine places on 'the Mask of Discord', she'll be filled with Chaos Magic causing her to transform into a Human version of Screwball, and wield the same powers as her Pony Counterpart but on a less powerful level, at least until there can be a time when she can naturally withstand having such Chaotic Magical Power become a part of herself, and she can become a Full-Powered Human Screwball permanently.

Later that evening in the EQG Human World, Human Dr. Ballentine wakes up in her small apartment on her couch, having believed that she must have dozed off and that all of the events that happened today were all just some crazy dream.

But then she hears a strange voice coming from the weird looking wooden mask on her dresser saying "Oh it was no dream Scarey!".

Of course Dr. Ballentine is taken by shock over seeing the mask & actually hearing a voice coming from it, she then asks "Hoo-who said that?".

The mask then says "It's me, Screwball, you know, the spiral-eyed pony who is actually a Chaos Magic wielding alternate version of You from another dimension, I'm just transmitting my voice through this mask, in order to tell you that what you experienced really Did happen, and from now on when you put on 'The Mask of Discord'(giggles) he really liked that name I gave it, anyways, once you put it on you'll transform into a zany, spiral-eyed human with unbelievable powers, you'll be capable of amazing & hilarious things that no ordinary human could even comprehend".

Dr. Ballentine then says "Are You Insane?!"

Screwball interrupts through the mask replying "Of Course I am, What's your Point?".

Dr. Ballentine responds "I can't just change into someone who is like you, what would others think of me then? I refuse to take part in this little game, and I'm going to get rid of this silly mask of yours".

Screwball replies "I wouldn't do that if I were You-you, not only is this mask virtually indestructible & unable to be destroyed by any conventional or unconventional methods, but if anyone else wears this mask, then They will receive all of those powers I told you about, the problem is that they won't have as much control over themselves, so it will give them an alter-ego with little to no psychological inhibitors, depending on who it is that wears this mask will determine just how dangerous they can be".

Dr. Ballentine says "WHAT? Why would you make something like That?!".

Screwball replies "Well this mask is meant for You, despite the fact that you will become crazy anyways, only You will have the most control over yourself when wearing this mask".

Human Scarabew asks "But Why Me? What makes Me so special here?".

Screwball replies "Because You're an Alternate Version of Me, And I know what it was like to be You, the only true difference between us is that I found a way out of my dull, boring & unfulfilling old life, but you don't have Chaos Magic to help you like I did with me, this mask is your ticket to a more fun, more exciting and more fulfilling life, or at least it's a temporary solution until a more permanent method can be found, Trust Me, or in another way Trust Yourself, you'll be much happier if you can change into a Screwball version of yourself, with her in your life, you'll be able to live the kind of life that you've always wanted but couldn't have, you could even live a life like that of a Super Hero if you wanted, well I gotta get going, just remember to have lots of fun, bu-bye".

Then Dr. Ballentine says into the mask "No, wait, hello? Hello?! ah nuts".

Once the conversation is over, the Human Dr. Ballentine takes a long, stern look at the Mask of Discord, she then throws the mask over to the corner of the room and plans to get ready to resume her normal, boring life, but then an impulse comes over her, she then walks over to retrieve the mask, then she decides to just do what her pony-self wanted and get it over with.

When she gets the mask close enough to her face, the mask jumps and suction cups itself to her face, then she feels the mask consuming her entire head, then she spins around like the Tasmanian Devil, finally Dr. Ballentine transforms into a Human version of Screwball, her Light Beige skin is now a Pink-ish Purple, her long Darkish Red Flat Hair is now Dark Purple with White Highlights and is Curly & Poofier, her eyes went from Light Green normal looking to Purple Irises with Pink Spirals, she's now wearing an outfit that is an amalgamation of various types & styles of clothing, including a Green & Yellow Propeller Beanie on her head, as well as a Belt-Sash that has one long strap with five tassels on the end to help it act like an additional hand, and of course her voice has changed from Deep yet Feminine to High & almost Childish, once the transformation is complete, the Human Screwball lightly shouts "The Fuuun has Arriiiiiiived!", then she decides to go out for a night on the town.

Much like her Pony Counterpart, the Human Screwball has chaotic abilities, most of which are based on the Laws of Cartoon Physics, and also has Power Mimicry so that she can perform any kind of Super Power or Special Ability that she's aware of, including the Bonneter Capture ability from Super Mario Odyssey(commenting that she saw this trick done in a video game once), where Screwball just throws her propeller beanie onto someone else's head, or onto an inanimate object, then she gets pulled into whoever or whatever wears her beanie and possesses them, gaining full control over their bodies & abilities.

At first she uses these crazy powers to just run wild & have fun or to stop criminals, but after the events of the first EQG Movie, Unstable Equestrian Magic was brought into the Human World, and began infecting various beings & objects all over Canterlot City, resulting in the birth of several super villains that the Human Mane 6 were unaware of and didn't fight, so the Human Screwball had to use her Chaos Powers to deal with them.

Her adventures were pretty much similar to those of The Mask, specifically the version from the Animated Series based on the Movie by the Same Name, naturally the Mask of Discord sometimes feel into the possession of someone else, and they ended up transforming into a Screwball version of themselves, so it was up to Dr. Ballentine to recover the mask and try to set things right, even without Chaotic Powers Dr. Ballentine still had her wits, and she still had the gymnastic skills she learned from when she was a kid, she even started taking a parkour class in her spare time so that she could be able to evade danger long enough to retrieve the Mask and change into Screwball.

And sometimes she would join the Human Mane 6 on many adventures or slice-of-life situations, and eventually she was able to trust them with her secret identity, anyways enough with the EQG Humans, let's get back to the FiM Ponies.

Author's Note

When the Human Screwball said "The Fun has Arrived!", I thought of it in the same style as Trek of Disney's Tarzan said it, as seen here:

Epilogue

Eventually Discord & Screwball started a family and had a bunch of children who were Ponies with various other Animal Parts for their own Body Parts like their Dad and Spiral Eyes like their Mom, and they all had Chaos Powers like their Parents, so growing up they pretty much drove Discord & Screwball even crazier than they already were.

As they got older, Discord & Screwball's children began helping out with the family business of running the Chaotic Kingdom Amusement Park.

Eventually their children grew-up, fell in love with others who were willing to accept them for Who they are and not What they are or What they Look like, got married and started some families of their very own, who later did the same thing and started families of their own, who later started families of their own, who started families of their own, and so on and so forth.

And since Discord, Screwball and all of their Descendants were immortals, Discord & Screwball were able to see their Descendants for eons worth of generations to come.

Many of said Descendants decided to move to other planets and/or dimensions to settle down and raise families of their own, and bring the wonders of the Chaotic Kingdom to other life forms across the galaxy & beyond.

Of course their extremely extensive Family would all gather together for the holidays & stuff, using the Chaotic Kingdom as a means of convergence no matter where they were.

So honestly this is pretty much a never ending story that will go on & on for all eternity, but seeing as how I don't wish to continue telling this story forever, I'm going to end it right here and right now, so without further adu...

THE END, Nuff Said.

Author's Note

I know, I know I left a ton of stuff in this story very Vague, but I felt like That would give the readers the freedom to use their own imaginations to fill in the gaps themselves, after all with Discord, Anything is Possible, so why not let the readers imagine their own stuff into the story?

And if anyone liked this story so much that they would want to use elements/aspects from This story in any of their own fan-works, feel free to do so, just remember to give credit where credit is due.