To Kill a Princess

by StrategyBrony

Rating: teen
Tags: Thriller, Original Character, Mystery, Profanity, Violence, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Death
Length: 4897

Somepony attempts to claim the life of Equstria's newest Princes, but, luckily, Detective Sleuth is on the case!

In the wake of rising crime rates across Equestria, Mayor Mare increases the size of the police force in an attempt to help make Ponyville.

Unfortunately, however, tragedy strikes at the announcement speech, and Twilight and Mayor Mare are both injured after a freak shooting interrupts the meeting's closer. Now, private eye Detective Sleuth is on the case to find out who could be responsible for attempting the claim the life of Equestria's newest Princess.

{Takes place sometime between the coronation and Tirek}

Published 2018-03-29 23:20:06 UTC
Last updated 2018-05-18 04:05:54 UTC

Chapter 1 - Town Meeting

Twilight stepped outside her library, and took in a deep breath in and out, watching as her breath made its visual presence known to the world for a split second before ascending upwards, never to be seen again. She looked around at the service and weather ponies doing their jobs, preparing Ponyville for Mayor Mare’s speech later that afternoon.

After her little moment, Twilight began on her walk to the Ponyville Town Hall. ‘I wonder what Mayor Mare wants to tell Ponyville about,’ she thought to herself. ‘It must be important if she needs me up there too, though if it was important wouldn't she tell me what the meeting was for? Maybe she just forgot; after all, she is old enough to suffer from memory issues. Or maybe she’s sick? I’ve heard of some cases where an ill pony forgets to do something usual.’ Twilight’s thoughts began to quicken. ‘Maybe there’s something seriously wrong, and she can’t tell me otherwise she’ll be in serious trouble? Or maybe-’ Twilight couldn't complete the thought as she bumped into somepony.

Twilight looked up to see a dizzy old mare on the ground before her; turns out her legs were going as fast as her thoughts. "Sorry for bumping into you, Mayor Mare, I was just wanting to make sure I got here on time. After all, on time is late, and early is on time!” ‘Nice recovery, Twilight.’

"Now, now, no need to apologize,” the older mare said, dusting herself off. “Actually, it’s a good thing you’re early, I need to ask you something.”

“Shoot for it, Mayor,” Twilight said a little too enthusiastically.

“Do you think that I am a good mayor?”

"Mayor Mare, I know you are a good mayor, and you've been mayor for three terms in a row, so you must be doing something right. Why wouldn't you think you’re a good mayor?"

"Because, Twilight, the crime rates! They’ve been rising since my re-election!" the mayor shot a concerned look at Twilight as she grabbed the princess by her shoulders. “What if they blame me?”

"There’s been increasing crime rates in all of Equestria, if they’re gonna blame anyone, it would be Celestia." Twilight instantly froze, realizing what she had just said. “On second thought, they would blame the police! Or the High Commission! Or the Courts! Or-”

“Twilight, I understand what you mean,” Mayor Mare turned around and headed for the podium. “And yes, you’re right, it would make more sense to blame the federal government for national crime rates.”

Twilight let out a relieved sigh and followed the mayor to the podium. ‘Nice save.’

-~-~-~-

The surrounding area was filled with the population of the town, eagerly waiting to hear what Mayor Mare had to say. Perhaps she was announcing a new holiday? Or perhaps she was announcing the date of the annual Running of the Leaves? Or perhaps she was just going to talk about something nopony wanted to hear about, like crime rates.

"Citizens of Ponyville,” Mayor Mare announced, loud enough to garner the attention of the families in the back.

"There is too much crime for the Ponyville Police Department to handle, and it is becoming a serious issue, with criminals being more capable than ever to escape justice.” The audience looked concerned. The mayor cleared her throat. Twilight sighed.

“Not that there have been any escapes, that is!” Mayor Mare exclaimed, her voice faltering. “No no no! I just think that our department could use a little more help.”

A voice arose in the crowd. “Are you going to say we have to help the department, like any of us normal folk have the ability to catch criminals?”

Murmurs began in the crowd. Murmurs turned into shouting. Shouting could turn into a failed election; she had to act fast.

“Don’t be ridiculous, sir! I have taken the liberty to hire,” she glared at the crowd, forcing the shouting to return to murmurs. “To hire fifteen new policeponies from Manehatten, nearly doubling our police force!”

The murmurs fell silent as thirty-five officers in blue uniforms, each adorned with a star of either bronze, silver, or gold, marched onto the platform and stood in a row behind the mayor and Twilight.

“I have also managed to convince a private investigator to take up residence in Ponyville to aid our police force. Please welcome, Detective Sleuth.”

On cue, a light brown pony with a nearly-black mane approached the podium, seemingly out of nowhere. His grey trench coat nearly covering his entire face. Still, his piercing green eyes could be seen by everypony.

"Ponyvillians, do not be alarmed by my presence. I am here to help those of you in need of a detective. Whether your issue be theft or death, I will take the case," he stared menacingly into the audience. “If I think you’re innocent that is.” He turned around quickly, causing his coat to quickly flare up for a second, revealing his firearm, but not his Cutie Mark.

A couple hooves stomped as he walked away from the podium, but most of the audience was left looking around, almost as if they were concerned, or maybe even confused. He lined up at the end of the row of officers.

Twilight approached the podium and extended her wings; she wasn’t sure why she did, though. Perhaps she thought taking up more space made her seem more authoritarian.

Or she just got it from Celestia.

"Everypony, I am quite pleased with the mayor’s decisions on the recent crime epidemic, and I am sure that these new officers will help our community feel just this much more safe." She extended her hooves outwards to show just how much safer she felt. “And with that, this meeting is hereby dismissed.”

The crowd began stomping as Twilight turned to the grinning mayor, with the shifty private eye in the background, looking around. The crowd was talking amongst themselves as they were getting up when, suddenly, they were all silenced by a sound so loud one of the front windows shattered.

‘That’s weird,’ Twilight thought. ‘Shouldn’t both windows be broken if a sound was so loud it-’ Twilight cut off her own thoughts.

“Mayor, ge-” Twilight was suddenly silenced by another unexpected sound as she fell to the ground. “Oh sweet Celestia!” she screamed, her side searing, as the crowd began fleeing for their lives.

With another sound the Mayor joined her on the floor and let out a scream as Twilight’s friends came rushing to her aid.

“You can’t come up here,” a large officer said, pushing Rainbow Dash out of the way. “We’ll take care of this, you take care of cover.

“But she’s our friend! If you think that-” Rainbow was cut off by rapid series of loud sounds as the dirt began to fill with holes. She turned to the guard. “Okay maybe you’re right.” And with that Rainbow began helping her unprotected friends escape, but Applejack just watched as Sleuth jumped over the banister and ran into one of the nearby three-stories.

The gunfire quickly ceased, lasting only a few seconds — regardless, the dirt was peppered.

“Applejack, we have to go!” Rainbow grabbed Applejack’s hoof. “It could start again at any minute!”

“Rainbow, take care o’ Rares an’ Fluttershy, Ah wan’ tah see what this here detective is up to.”

“Okay, but, like… Promise me you’ll be careful, Applejack. I need to keep some kind of competition in this town.” Rainbow looked at Applejack, eyes filled with distress.

Applejack grabbed Rainbow’s shaking hoof. Or maybe it was her hoof that was shaking. “Ah promise.”

Rainbow just hovered there, staring at Applejack. “Okay. I trust you,” she said before helping the very distressed Rarity up out of the mud.

Applejack wiped her face and ran off after Sleuth.

Author's Note

This is sort of a revitalization of an old story I posted on this site almost three years ago on an old account. With this in mind, the story takes place some time post-coronation and pre-Starlight.

Please, provide any criticism if you have any, and I would love to improve this story as much as possible. :pinkiesmile:

Chapter 2 - The Scene

Sleuth kicked open the front door of the building and ran up the staircase to his immediate left.

Once he finished his swift ascent he tripped over a broken floorboard knocked the stairwell’s door off of its final hinge. “Dammit!” He floated his revolver out of its holster and used a hole in the wall to hoist himself up. The firing stopped.

He slowly crept down the hallway until he approached the first door to his right, aiming his gun at the lock. “I know you’re in there!”

A series of quick, heavy hoofsteps was suddenly heard to his right, getting louder with every step. Out of instinct, he immediately swung to the stairwell and fired, narrowly missing an ascending orange mare.

“Woah nelly! Yah could’ve killed me!” she yelled.

“Hooves up!” Sleuth yelled back.

Without hesitation, she raised her hooves high in the air, fearing she’ll get shot again.

“Hey… Aren’t you Applejack?” Sleuth asked, lowering his gun slightly.

“Ah sure am,” Applejack stated. “And also, get that gun outta mah face!”

Sleuth swiftly rotated the gun to his left and fired at the door, causing Applejack to jump. “Hey! Remain still, Applejack. As far as I know you could be the criminal.”

“Ah ain’t the criminal!”

Sleuth holstered his gun. “Very well. Being the element of honesty I know you can’t tell a lie… probably.” Applejack was a little surprised by the sudden change in how the detective viewed her. “Well, don’t just stand there! If you wanted to help out so badly you’d risk getting shot, then you can go in first.”

“But what if Ah get shot?” Applejack approached Sleuth, cautiously.

"Exactly my point," he replied.

“But you’re the investigator, so Ah reckon you should go first.”

Sleuth smiled. “Well, there’s no need for either of us to go in first because the room’s empty; All that’s left is a gun and a… something else.” Sleuth stepped through the doorway to get a closer look, and Applejack followed.

“Ah-ah-achoo!” Applejack sneezed. “Hoo boy, it sure is dusty in ‘ere.”

“Hmm, quite,” Sleuth concurred. “There doesn’t seem to be any hoofprints in this dust either, so this gun must have been set up ages ago, but that doesn’t make any sense because the gun is dustless.”

“Maybe a pegasus flew in; that would explain the lack of hoofprints,” Applejack suggested.

“Unlikely, Applejack. You see, if a pegasus where to fly in the dust would be disturbed, but it all seems to be an even coat.” Sleuth picked up the metal contraption wired up to the machine gun. “This looks like some sort of timer.”

“An’ that there gun looks like it belongs in a museum.”

"And this looks like two morons tampering with the evidence!” a voice bellowed from the doorway.

“Oh great, if it isn’t Snowldier, late to the crime, as per usual.” Sleuth rolled his eyes.

“I told you my name is Chief Snow, you fucking moron,” the officer said.

“Hey, I’d advise you watch your Celestia-damned mouth, you oaf; there’s no need for profanity,” he turned to Applejack. “C’mon, Applejack, we’re going! I wouldn’t want to… impede his investigation.”

“Don’t think about checking out any of the other buildings, Detective, we already confiscated all the evidence. And you,” he pointed to Applejack. “I advise you don’t get too friendly with ‘Sleuth’, less you want to make an enemy of the PPD.”

“She won’t make an enemy of the department, she’ll make an enemy of you,” Sleuth turned to Applejack. “If you really want to help solve who tried to kill your best friend, you’re better off working with me, someone who does his job to help ponies.”

“Yah didn’t seem so helpful when you almost shot mah head off,” Applejack muttered as she followed Sleuth to the stairwell.

“You what?!” Snow yelled. “You almost shot another civilian!” He drew his gun and fired into the ceiling, creating a spotlight for the startled detective.

“Perhaps we should go,” Sleuth said before rushing down the stairwell.

Applejack looked back at the angry police chief holstering his gun before following Sleuth down the stairwell. ‘Ah hope Ah made th’ right choice.’

-~-~-~-

Sleuth was storming down to the Town Hall, muttering numerous swear words as he reloaded his revolver.

‘Maybe Ah should help him cool off,’ Applejack though as she ran up to meet him. "Hey, Sleuth?"

"Yes?" Sleuth half yelled as he accidentally spat into Applejack’s face.

"How come ya moved here t’ Ponyville?"

"Job opportunity,” he said flatly.

"C’mon, we's both know that that ain't th’ only reason."

Sleuth quickly pressed his gun into Applejack’s neck. “Because I-” he cut himself off, lowering his gun. Was that a tear in his eye? “I needed a change of scenery; the city was too much,” he said darkly.

Applejack was skeptical about his new answer, but decided to believe him. “So, uhh… what didn’ yah like about the city? Y’know, apart from all th’ snooty folk.”

“The noise, the lights, the people… they were too much. Sometimes the lights were so fucking bright that I wouldn’t rest for days, and the noise, dear Celestia the fucking noise! It was so loud that even the deaf were complaining!”

“Where did ya live?”

“Southern Commercial, just across the street from the industrial district. Below me was a dance club and above me was a strip club.”

“Sounds… gross,” Applejack said. “Well, we’re here at th’ Town Hall, any reason we came back ‘ere?”

Sleuth’s face quickly changed back to his usual, serious expression as he faced Applejack and swiftly procured the timer from underneath his coat. “We need to hide this from the police, and this is where my office is.” Sleuth examined the surrounding area; two ponies were loading large blue bags into the back of a carriage while two officers were busy putting up yellow tape. Three other officers were around, examining the dirt. “I’m gonna go and lock this in my office, you ask around to see where the mayor and the Princess are.” He rushed into the Hall.

Applejack cleared her throat. “Hey, uh, do any of y'all know where I could find Twilight? I want to make sure she’s okay.”

A young officer with a bronze star spoke up. “She was just rushed to the hospital,” he said. “And your other friends safely made it out of the area, if you’re wondering.”

“Thank ya kindly,” Applejack said, tipping her hat slightly.

“Ah, I see you’ve met my friend, Blue,” Sleuth said, startling Applejack. “Did he say where the Princess is?”

“Yes, Twi’s at the hospital right now.”

“Ah, lovely. Come along, Applejack. I need to ask her some questions.” Sleuth took off down the street.

“Other way,” Applejack said.

“Of course, I knew that.”

Chapter 3 - Hospitalization

Sleuth and Applejack followed closely behind Nurse Redheart, keeping to the right all the while. Eventually the nurse stopped and looked at the detective. “Well, here we are! Twilight is right in here. Just holler if she needs me.”

“Mighty thanks, Redheart,” Applejack replied before flinging open the door and quickly setting her sights on a resting Twi. “Twilight? Are you okay?” She took one step into the room before being tackled to the floor by a rainbow blur.

Sleuth instinctively pulled out his gun before aiming at the attacker who was… hugging Applejack?

“Oh, it's you,” Sleuth said bitterly before holstering his gun and stepping around the two ponies.

“You’re safe!” Rainbow Dash accidentally spat into the face of her victim as she spoke. “I was- I mean, Rarity was worried sick about you!”

Applejack chuckled. “Ah’m sure she was, sugarcube.” She looked directly into Rainbow’s eyes, holding her gaze for a couple seconds before coming back to the reality around her at the sound of a sudden and violent coughing fit.

“‘Tective… Girls? You’re all…” Twilight struggled to get the words out of her mouth. “You… made it… to safely?” Her glazed-over eyes scanned the room before watering up a little. “And you decideded to come h-h-here?”

“Well, of course we would come, darling. It’s what friends are for!” Rarity approached the side of Twilight’s bed. “We couldn’t live with ourselves if we ignored you in your time of need.”

Applejack slid out from underneath Rainbow Dash and walked over to stand next to Rarity. “Is there anything I can get’cha?”

Twilight nodded. “Water…” She looked at Rainbow Dash. “Raimbow, you don’... look so... good.” She yawned. “Your face… red.”

Rainbow quickly covered her face with a wing, quickly drawing the attention of everypony in the room. “I-It’s nothing, I swear!”

Applejack looked back at Twilight. “Ah’ll get you yer water, sugarcube. Don’ try an’ talk too much.” She left for the door.

“H-H-How long was I out? And wh-wh-where’s Fluttersheh and Pink?” Twilight slowly sat up, wincing as she did so. “An’ the mare?”

Rarity opened her mouth to speak but was quickly cut off by Rainbow Dash as she approached the bed, lowering her wing. “Fluttershy had a panic attack and was rushed to the hospital. Pinkie is helping calm her down.”

Twilight’s eyes started to tear up before she returned to a hacking fit. By the time she looked up the watergates have already overflown. “F-F-Futtershy?” Twilight blinked away some of the tears. “I need to see F-F-Fluttershy.” Twilight tried to roll out of bed, moaning and groaning as she moved, but was prevented by a stone-faced stallion. “I need to see Fluttershy…”

“No. You need bed rest.” Sleuth’s voice was slow and coarse. He looked at the bandages the princess revealed when she rolled over. He shuddered. ‘Why is this getting to me? I see injuries far worse than this.’ He looked right into Twilight’s watery eyes. ‘But… not on living ponies, with the exception of…’

He sighed and slowly shook his head, removing his hat. “Perhaps coming here right now wasn’t the best idea.” He turned to leave, but somepony had gripped his coat. He turned around to see Twilight hanging half out of bed, clutching to his jacket. “Fluttershy…” she mouthed.

Rarity walked over and removed Twilight’s grip from his coat. “You should be ashamed on trying to walk out on Twilight like that!” Her cheeks reminded Sleuth of a zebra. “Have you the nerve to come here, uninvited, mind you, and then immediately leave without so much a thought of sorrow? Even a simple, ‘I’m so sorry,’ would have sufficed! Well then fine! Leave!” She spat in his face as she spoke. “Twilight wouldn’t want to deal with a pony as rude and- and- uncaring as you!” They were both shaking now, albeit for different reasons.

As she tried to open her mouth for more angry comments, Twilight interrupted. “Rarity… No. He… He… He’s… He’s…” Twilight trailed off. “He didn’t know any better.”

Sleuth looked back to Twilight, all tangled up in bloodied bandages, cables, and tubes. ‘Had that clock always been ticking this loud?’ Sleuth looked at her pleading face. “Fluttershy… Fluttershy… Fluttershy…” it cried. He looked to the where the walls met the ceiling, only to see mascara dripping from the molding. He looked back at the angry unicorn. “Please, sir… save her,” it screamed. The ticking became synchronized with the pounding of his head.

Sleuth frantically looked around at spinning walls, breathing harder and harder as the walls started closing in. Images and sounds starting playing on repeat: Case files, gunshots, getting fired, breaking in, a crying filly, and, finally, the colour red.

The clock gave a final tick, and he looked at Twilight, and blinked, and he looked to Rarity, and blinked.

And then he looked at Rainbow, who was no longer there. He blinked anyways.

“She left a while ago, darling,” he heard Rarity say. “And you couldn’t save her.”

Sleuth shook his head. Did he hear that correctly? The ticking returned, continuing its sync with his pounding head. He looked back to where the walls met the ceiling, and the mascara was showing images. Images he thought he’d never have to see again.

The mascara was flowing much faster now, finally reaching the floor, its tendrils of darkness oozing their way to the detective.

Sleuth panicked and ran towards the door, the mascara engulfing him with every step until he passed out. “Why couldn’t you save her?”

-~-~-~-

Blurry. Everything around him was blurry. Everything was silent. The air was still.

A sharp sound pierced the silence. Beep. The air started to move again.

Sleuth turned his head in the direction of the sound, putting a blurry metal box into view. Beep.

Conversations filled the room. Quiet conversations. Conversations that felt as if he were listening under water. He didn’t remember any of the voices.

“I don't know... possibly done this…”

“It looks like he… am I right?”

“Ah think he's wakin’ up.”

That last voice, he recognized it; that filly who helped him back at the house. The orange one; Apple-... something.

Sleuth spoke slowly. “Applesnack? No, Apple… Applejack. Is that… Are you talking?” He looked around, finally setting his eyes on an orange blur at the foot of his bed. “What happened?”

“Ah don’ know, sugarcube. All’s I know is that I came into Twi's room just in time to see you collapse on th’ floor.”

Sleuth's eyes widened as he shot straight up. “Princess Twilight! Is she oka-” he burst into a fit of coughing. “Anypony have a glass of water?”

Applejack walked to his side, picked up a cup, and held it to his lips. He started swallowing the refreshing substance. “Don’ be jumpin’ aroun’ all crazy-like, Sleuth. We don't need you out of action any longer.”

Sleuth finished the cup. “How long was I out?”

“You passed out a bit after I woke up, so I would say… nine, ten hours?” A mystery voice said on the other side of the curtain.

A mystery voice that sounded awfully familiar. Sleuth sat in thought until he remembered the purple pony moaning in pain, calling out “Fluttershy… Fluttershy… Fluttershy…” He began to panic, breathing very short, heavy breaths until an orange pony placed a hoof on his shoulder. “What’s the matter, sugarcube?”

“Nothing,” he lied, frantically trying to regain control of his breathing.

“Well, something must be th’ matter, ‘cause you’re breathing awful heavy-like.”

“It’s nothing, I swear. Hey! Where’s that white pony? The one with the purple mane, Rare Tie? I believe her name was Rare Tie, or maybe it was-”

“The name’s Rarity,” a voice interrupted. “And I am so terribly sorry about how I reacted earlier. I just… You were there, and you weren’t doing anything, and I thought… I thought it was your fault Twilight was injured, I thought you killed her.” She pulled back the dull green curtain that previously split the room in two. Her cheeks continued to remind Sleuth of zebras. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, you better be sorry, Rarity, you-” Sleuth caught himself, and sighed. Rarity had moved back about five paces. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to lash out, it’s not your fault. It’s just so… frustrating!” Sleuth slammed his hoof on the neighboring machine, letting out a yelp of pain and surprise. “Sorry for yelling. I tend to do that too often.”

Rarity took a couple cautionary steps forwards; after all, he is a crazy, hospitalized, armed pony. Or, he would be armed if the staff hadn’t confiscated his gun after stripping him of his attire. “Perhaps we should start off on the right foot this time, detective.”

“That would be silly, no offence.” Sleuth said coldly. “While I’m sure you’re a nice pony, I’d much rather keep our poorest introduction as opposed to making small talk. At least this way there’s something interesting to talk about.”

Rarity frowned. “Oh, you’re one of those ponies, the ‘always in a bad mood’ kind of pony.”

“Rarity!” Applejack interjected. “Now that wasn’t very nice.”

“No, Applejack, I get what I deserve. I’m kind of an asshole, and I’m going to stay an asshole because ponies don’t change.” The detective looked at the orange pony. “But I will apologize for my rudeness, especially to you, Applejack, considering I almost shot you earlier.”

Rarity leaned over and whispered into Applejack’s ear. “Is he always this frustrating, or is it the drugs?”

“Well, he-” Applejack was cut off almost immediately.

“Oh, it’s definitely the drugs,” Twilight chimed in, looking up from her book. “Steroids can cause high irritability.”

“Ah don’ think Sleuth uses ‘roids, he seems too… he ain’t no athlete.” Applejack chuckled. Sleuth looked back at her, unamused.

“When will the drugs wear off?” Rarity asked.

“Very soon,” Nurse Redheart walked into the room. “Rarity, Applejack, I’m going to politely have to ask you two to leave; Visiting hours are now over and we need to… work with Sleuth and Princess Twilight a bit more before they go to bed.

“As you wish, Nurse. Come along, Applejack. We have a certain yellow pegasus to visit.” And with that, the visitors left.

Once the door shut, Sleuth turned to Twilight, who was getting an IV change. “Twilight, I’m really sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to be so weird, I just… I was reminded of something. Something I tried so very hard to forget.”

“It’s okay,” Twilight reassured. “I don’t think you’re a bad pony, either, despite what you think of yourself. You just have some issues to work out.”

“Sleuth, now that you’re awake, the staff has a question for you: Do you abuse alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, or any other substances?” Redheart asked Sleuth as she started changing his IV.

“Perhaps I do have a couple issues.” Sleuth sighed. “Can you help me, Princess Twilight. I mean, you are the princess of friendship, after all.”

“So… is that alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs?” Redheart asked.

“Oh, uh, alcohol.”

“Well, it looks like we have a place to start,” Twilight chuckled. “Although I have a feeling you want me to help out your social issues, not your addiction.”

“Yeah, although clearing my addiction would also be nice. They get kind of expensive.”

“And they’re incredibly unhealthy,” Redheart chimed in “We can help you with your addiction, free of charge.”

“I’ll consider it. My addiction is like a safespace for me. The world continues to change around me, but alcohol is always a constant. It has my back.”

“Well, there are other constants you can have in your life that are positive, like friends, or a lover.” Twilight stood so that Redheart could take off her bandages and put on clean ones.

“Well, I’ve never had friends before, and a lover is something I don’t think I’d ever have the pleasure of acquiring.” Sleuth looked over to Twilight, seeing the large hole in her side. “How come the hole is so… I don’t know how to explain it. I expected a lot more gore.”

“Blood clot spell, internals protection spell, anti-bacterial spell, and a few more,” Redheart said.

“Well, Sleuth, I’ll be your friend. After all, it looks like we’re going to be here for a couple days, me much longer than you.” Twilight flinched at the cold touch of a new bandage. “And if you’re ever interested in romance-”

“Twilight, I’m not interested. No offence,” Sleuth said flatly.

“I was going to mention Applejack.”

Sleuth sat up quickly, eliciting complaints from the nurse. “How could you insinuate such an idea? I’m not interested in Applejack. She’s my partner, not my… partner.”

“I don’t know, I was just throwing that out there.” Twilight got back into her bed and another nurse arrived with some medication for the two. “Something to think about.”

“I guess.” Sleuth took his pills. “Is there anything I can wash these down with, Nurse?”

Redheart frowned. “The only alcohol we have is of the rubbing variety, and you’re not drinking that.”

“That’s not what I… you know what, nevermind. How long am I out of action?”

“About two days while we run tests and get a diagnosis,” the second nurse said as she gave Twilight her pills. “But, it could be longer.”

“Two days outside the field and without any alcohol. This is going to be a challenge. And I didn’t have any today! Unbelievable.”

“Well, Sleuth, I guess I can give you your first lesson in friendship tomorrow,” Twilight yawned.

Sleuth yawned too. Today had been draining. “Alright, sure, that’s fine.”

“Sleuth, we ask that you sign this form saying that the hospital has the right to analyze sleep patterns, brain waves, and breathing patterns while you sleep.” Nurse Redheart handed him a piece of paper and a pen, and soon after had it returned, the pen slightly lighter.

“Well, goodnight, Sleuth,” Twilight said as she turned onto her side.

“See you in the morning,” he replied, adjusting his covers.

Sleuth stayed up late that night. He didn’t know if it was the whirring of the machines, the talk of staff in the hallway, or his own head. After several hours, he came to the conclusion that he had been keeping his eyes open the whole time.

Closing them definitely helped.