D.N.A: Damn Not Again

by Chemtest

Rating: teen
Tags: Profanity, Random, Violence, Alternate Universe, Human, Doctor Whooves, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Adventure, Prince Blueblood, Fancypants
Length: 16892

Celestia says stallions shouldn’t be equal. A drunk Irishman fixes that.

(RGRE)

The year is 2019, and a man celebrates his twentyfirst birthday. Until hellfire rises from below, and heaven light comes from above.

Celestia sits on her throne, trying to restore the stallion population to it’s previous amount. To do his, she proclaims them as second class citizens.

One thousand years later, and one drunk stallion is thrown into a situation through a set of uncontrollable circumstances.

Published 2018-03-31 03:40:06 UTC
Last updated 2019-09-11 03:14:40 UTC

Rise

He sits at a table, tilting back his glass and consuming the amber liquid within.

His eyes glare at those around him, roudy, rude, rash, human. It is his greatest shame to be a part of the same race as them. They are capitalized by a pair of glasses, making his glare all the more obvious from a squint. No body comes around the young looking boy, except for the bartender.

He orders up another glass of whiskey, wishing to enjoy one of the few good things his fellow humans have ever done. If he cannot isolate himself away physically, then he will mentally.

But his plan is ruined as someone takes a seat across from him.

A tall, weightless figure in purple robes that flow in a nonexistent wind. When he speaks, his voice seems to reverberate in the filled room, “Hello there. I am Edis, God of Endings.”

He glares at the tall figure, “Austin. And I expect you to not call me anything but that. Please tell me, why the hell are you annoying me?”

Edis nods, “Well, if I am being honest, I am here to make sure that you don’t move from this table.”

He laughs, and stands up, “Well, allow me to be the cause for your failure in that mission.”

Edis gets up, and follows after him, “What, don’t want to enjoy a few more drinks? It is your Twenty First, after all. How about I pay for a few more?”

He looks back, “I can afford my own death-water, I don’t need your charity. Now, how about you get the hell out of my face before I force you away?”

Edis shrugs, “You can try, but you don’t have enough time.”

He glares, “What are you talking about?”

With the last word coming out of his mouth, the screaming starts. All around him, Irish men and women start to run, looking up into the sky.

He looks up himself, only to see the sky rip itself apart with a white, holy light. A bridge of light seems to be falling right towards the ground from the sky, and winged figures fly out of the fissure.

He is then shaken as the ground below him opens, a hellish red light painting the previously dark streets. Huge, red men crawl up from the crevice, each carrying a different weapon and wearing different armors. A bridge of hellfire starts to rise from the ground.

Edis smiles, and shoves him onto the path where the two bridges will collide, “Have a good trip.”

He looks up as the holy light crashes down upon him, mixing with the hellish light on the spot where he stands.

The pressure crushes him in every conceivable way, breaking each atom beyond their electromagnetic force.

It eventually becomes too much, and his body relents to the different energies going through it.

He is shot across the universe in a quantum slingshot, his conscious mind retreating into his glasses, leaving his Id and Superego to take over his body, even as it changes form.

———

Chem shoots awake from the dream, panting deeply. He reaches a hoof up to his head, and feels a bit of cold sweat below his horn.

He takes a second before exiting his shoddily constructed wooden cabin. He picks up a bottle of whiskey he left outside to chill, and takes a deep sip from it.

He sighs in contentment, and looks at a set of rallies on a wooden plank he has carried with him. He marks another on there, and counts, “Hmm... one hundred and fifty three. That’s... five months? Yeah, sounds like five months.”

He looks around his makeshift camp, right on the outskirts of Ponyville.

He learned quickly that towns, cities, and even the tiniest hamlet were a no-go for him. He would be chased around by crazy mares demanding that he be captured and given a mare escort. From the moment he stepped hoof out of Tall Tale, he has been living as a rouge. After all, he can’t produce whiskey worth a damn, so he has to get it from somewhere.

He smiles, and activates his magic.

He uses one of the most useful abilities in his new body. He can command energy, called mana, to do his will. And apparently, unlike other unicorns, he can use it to reconstruct matter into a different form.

Right now, he simply takes a bunch of leaves from around him, and makes a camouflaged suit to blend into the Forest.

He would just walk, but his body does not carry many natural colors. A dirty grey is only useful in winter, and neon teal doesn’t really blend into anywhere anytime of the year, so his hair and mane are a unkempt cause. Not to mention his bright blue eyes that will pierce any chance of anypony looking past him.

So he wears his camouflage, and walks to the town, ready to scout it out.

He eventually arrives after a short walk, and he instantly spots his target.

Berry Punch’s Alcohol.

His smile widens even further, and he watches the building intently.

———

The store has long since closed, yet Berry Punch herself has not come out. Yet, being twelve at night, she is either sleeping or too drunk to notice him.

He quietly pushes open the door, Ponyville having such low crime rates, they leave their doors unlocked.

He enters, and the moonlight shines in just enough for him to read the different labels on his tasty treasures.

He smiles, seeing the moonlight reflecting off an amber liquid.

He reaches up, taking the bottle of whiskey, and slipping it into a makeshift bag.

He then turns around, and accidentally jumps back when he sees a mare sleeping in a chair. She isn’t awake, to his luck.

However, not to his luck, are the bottles of alcohol that start to tip over.

One by one, they all fall over.

The first is a ‘Damn Daiquiri’.

Then a ‘Why Is This Happening Whiskey’.

Next is a ‘Bollix Bourbon’.

Finally, is a ‘Oh Shit Sarsaparilla’.

They all shatter on the floor, and each shatter causes Chem to flinch.

Berry Punch doesn’t stir at all.

Chem sighs in relief, until he sees another bottle fall over.

The cover is of a raised hoof, called the ‘Fuck You Vodka’.

When it shatters against the floor, Berry Punch awakes.

Chem smiles as the mare gasps at him, “Well, shit, this isn’t according to plan. If you don’t mind, I’m going to just skedaddle before I fuck up even more.” He then takes a bottle of wine from her hooves, “I hope you don’t mind, really, but I gotta satisfy my thirst, you know? So please don’t be a cunt and-“

She starts screaming.

He sighs, “Start screaming in fear. Really, you’d think more people would listen to that suggestion, but nope! They just want to worm their vocal cords!” He smiles, “Well, thanks for the whiskey! Goodnight!”

With this said, Chem flees from the store.

He runs into the Everfree Forest, creating an odd ‘whooping’ sound along the way.

———

The sun rises in the distance, and Chem is dancing around the fire in the middle of his camp.

He takes a deep swig from his whiskey bottle, and laughs in joy.

“It’s time to sing the campfire song!
And it’s not stopping ‘til the alcohol’s gone!
So it’s gonna last all day long!
Until the dawn is long bygone!”

He takes a swig from the wine in his other telekinesis, and throws more logs on the fire.

“For my name is Chem,
Alcohol is my greatest gem!
Out here in the great big wood!
I’d drink for longer if I could!”

He continues his nonsensical dance around the fire, only to have a pink blur come shooting out of the Forest, and take the wine from his telekinesis.

The new pink pony chugs the entire thing down, and smiles as well.

“Well I hate to see you dance all alone,
For what’s the point of a song if it’s not well known?
For my name is Pinkie Pie,
So let’s drink and sing til the bottle and our throat is dry!”

Chem smiles, and they link arms. They spin around, kicking their hooves out as they sing.

“For what’s the point of a drink if you don’t have a friend!
If nopony heard it, what’s the point of a song in the end?
So rise your glass up high and take a drink!
For the campfire some now has a singer who is pink!”

They break their arm connection, and get ready to sing even further.

They never get the chance, as a mare shouts out, “Stop right there!”

Chem stops in his tracks, right in the middle of a swig. He finishes the drink, keeping eye contact all the while.

Princess Twilight glares at him, “You know stallions aren’t allowed to have alcohol! And why did you break into Berry Punch’s store?!”

Chem sighs, and picks up the bottle in his hooves, “Look, do you really want to do this? Let me tell you, you don’t, so how about you just move along? Live and let live, right? Or will you be a cunt instead?”

Twilight lights up her horn, “I will take you back to Ponyville, and we will find a mare to help you, please? It’s obvious you aren’t well.”

Chem smirks, his horn lighting up very slightly. A branch moves form a tree to right behind Twilight’s head, “Sure, catch me if you can!”

He swings the branch, knocking it into the back of her head, and knocking her out cold.

A blue mare, Rainbow Dash, lands in the clearing, “Where’s the mare that did that!?”

Chem shakes his head, “There is no mare, only me. So come on, face my Irish wrath!”

He puts up his hooves in a boxing stance, only to be punched in the face by Rainbow flying at high speeds.

He goes flying back, and crashes through the walls of his ramshackle cabin. The entire building collapses, but he luckily landed just on the other side.

A bit of blood leaks from his muzzle, which he lets soak in.

The bottle of whiskey lands right next to him, which he picks up.

He takes a swig of it whist still laying down.

He sighs, “It’s gonna be one of those days, isn’t it?”

Mister Irish

Rainbow lands where she started, and laughs as Applejack walks in, “Did you see that?! He was all like ‘face my wrath’ and I sent him flying!”

Applejack shakes her head, “Rainbow, you might be strong, but you’re an idiot. We are supposed to capture him, not kill him!”

Chem picks himself up, and shuffles toward them through the rubble of his cabin. He lifts up the bottle, and drinks the last of it, “If you think you can take me down like that, then think again! My loose limbs can stop the treachery of physics, don’t you know? So how about you walk away, or I’m gonna actually get angry.”

Rainbow smiles, and looks towards Applejack, “Fine then, let’s see you do better!”

Applejack takes out a lasso, and starts to swing it around, “Watch and learn, sugarcube!”

She throws it at him, and ties him up.

Chem looks down at the rope, and sighs as he activates his magic, “I am not a horse, lady! Wait... shit! I am!” He cuts the lasso into pieces, and looks towards her, “But I am not into BDSM!” He smiles, and stretches his legs, “I suppose it’s time to pull out my famous move!”

Applejack smiles as she pulls what’s left of the rope towards her, “Oh yeah? And what might your ‘famous move’ be, partner?”

Chem starts to rush towards her, his legs flowing over the ground, “This!”

He jumps up into the air as he gets closer to her, and starts to get into the position.

He kicks his legs out, and shouts, “Dropkick!”

His legs strike something, and he falls onto his back.

He breathes in harshly, “Oh, that felt so good. Popped my knee! That’s had a creak in it all day!”

Applejack looks down at him, her hat missing from her head. She snorts, “You kicked my hat.”

Chem looks at the hat in the Everfree dirt, “Let me guess, important family heirloom?” She nods, and he nods back, “So you want to make me pay now?”

She nods, “Yep.”

Chem smiles, “Alright then. Well, let’s get started with an actual fight.”

Applejack tries to stomp down with her front hooves, only to have Chem roll out of the way.

He uses the momentum from the roll to spin around to his hooves.

Rainbow shouts, “I’ll flank him!”

Chem looks at the two’s positions as Rainbow flies behind him. He quickly charges towards Applejack, causing her to buck with her back hooves.

Chem jumps up, using her hooves as a jumping pad.

He flies through the air in a back flip, until he finds himself right above Rainbow Dash.

He summons his strength into a downward stomp, sending her flying into the ground. He then falls right down on top of her, delivering a nice falling kick to her wing. He cringes at the sound of a broken bone, and a pained scream.

He returns to all four hooves, and faces Applejack, “See, lass, you underestimate me. I got the luck on ten clovers in me side!” He raises into a bipedal stance, and faces her, “Show me your moves!”

She charges towards him, not noticing as he takes out a bottle.

She turns around to buck him, allowing Chem under her as he ducks. He shoves up with his head, and bowls her over. He walks up to her as she stands, and whacks her on the head with the bottle, knocking her out.

He turns around as he hears Rainbow scream, “You broke my wing! Do you know how long that’s gonna take to heal!?” She glares at him, “I have come this far, I am not letting you get away!”

Chem takes a step back, “Fuck, you’re one persistent cunt, aren’t you?” He shrugs, “Looks like it’s time to run away.”

He does just as he says. He rushes into the Forest, dodging every branch that comes his direction.

He hears Rainbow behind him, plowing down anything in the way. Her adrenaline is apparently a very, very powerful tool.

Chem smiles as he sees a cave entrance ahead, and he books it towards there, “No, stop! That’s Tartarus, you’ll die in there!”

Chem rises into a bipedal form once more, only to show Rainbow a single hoof, “Fuck you, I am going in anyway!”

She chases after him with renewed vigor, but her determination is naught before the power of whiskey.

Chem rushes into the cave, laughing all the while.

He looks back to see Rainbow doesn’t follow him in, only to run into something furry.

He looks up.

Red gates stand there, covered with spikes. And in front of them stands the thing he ran into.

Cerberus glares down at him, growling.

Chem smiles, “Might this be the wrong time to mention that I am a cat person?”

Cerberus howls into the air, and gives chase to the fleeing Chem.

Chem nods, “Yep, was definitely the wrong time!”

He then runs into something else as he exits the cave. Rainbow looks at him, “Oh, good, you came to your senses! Are you ready to go back and find your mare? Because I’m ready to make you ready.”

Chem turns around, and walks back into the cave, “I think I prefer the dog.”

He walks back up to Cerberus, and pets the main head, “Hey, I also like dogs quite a lot. Lot more than ponies, at least.”

The gates open behind Cerberus, and a dark, yet joyful voice speaks, “Oh, Cerberus, do we have a visitor!?”

Chem looks around the dog to see a demon. Tall, red, human, with horns coming out of his head.

The demon looks at him, “Oh, we do! Come in, come in, Tartarus has the best hospitality! You want some whiskey?” He smiles, “I am Pony Satan, by the way.”

Chem smiles back, “Chem. You said you have whiskey?”

Satan nods, “You bet your ass we do!”

Pony Satan

Pony Satan grabs off two full bottles of whiskey from the shelf, and slams them down on a table. He twists shape of the bottle into that of a big glass with his hellish magic.

Chem looks at the table, and focuses himself. He uses his ability to change matter in order to make two chairs from the stone below them.

They take a seat, drinking whiskey as they look over Tartarus. Chem smiles, “So, you rule over Tartarus?”

Satan takes a swig, and shrugs, “Depends on how you really think about it. Sure, a lot of demons look to me as a leader, but I have absolutely no power over what the hell happens down there. Stapus, Chaogat, Pos, Luvaca, Tirek, Corrugat, they all hold the real power down there. Ah, there was a time I ruled over Tartarus, it was a utopia for creatures to work off their sins! Now, the trade routes are nonexistent and there’s only been one visitor in a century.”

Chem turns to look at him, “Well, what the hell happened?”

Satan sighs, “Celestia invaded so she could steal away all the stallions we had. She ended up being mad at us fighting back, so she took over completely. Worse turns to worse, and a revolution causes power to be split into the six. Ah, at least we made her pissed. She was so pissed, she decided to place a curse on every creature in Tartarus! Now, we are all bipedal, and they are ageless! Not to mention the fact that she took a large majority of our population, so we had a problem there.”

Chem shakes his head, “Yeah, Celesta’s a real cunt, isn’t she?”

Satan smiles, “Now there’s a statement I can drink to! Nopony on the surface seems powerful enough to stop her either, so she is unhindered!” He looks at Chem, and his eyes widen, “Wait... a grey unicorn with an odd accent and an affinity for whiskey... hot damn.”

Chem looks at him, “What?”

Satan nods, “Say, Chem, how would you like to lead a revolution against Celestia?”

Chem squints his eyes at the odd question, “Well, sure, that sounds wonderful. But I couldn’t do it alone.”

Satan stands from the seat, and moves further away from the cliff face they drink on, “Come on, then.”

Chem follows him, “What are you doing?”

Satan stops, and turns to face Chem, “I have information you need, but I need to make sure of something first.” He puts up his fists, “Fight me. No magic, just physical. No weapons either.”

Chem nods, and gets into his bipedal fighting stance, “Just a friendly spar? Alright, I’m good with that.”

Satan nods, “Fight!”

Satan charges towards him, and enters into a swift dive kick. Chem jumps over his body, landing right on the ground as Satan sticks his claws into the stone.

He uses it to turn around, and do a sweeping kick instead. Chem flips over this, planning to land on top of Satan’s head, and deliver a kick to it.

But as he nears the head, Satan’s hand grasps his hoof, and slams him into the ground next to him.

Chem recovers quickly, and both fighters face each other, not a single bruise on either.

Satan goes in with a punch to the head, and a kick to the chest.

Chem stumbles closer to Satan, causing his attacks to overshoot. Chem uses his own kick combo.

He kicks Satan’s unused leg, so that he falls over onto one knee. Chem then lashes out with his leg once more, kicking Satan in the head.

He flips into the air as Satan is knocked down, and stomps down on his chest.

Satan manages to roll over at the last second, and hook Chem down with by grabbing the stomping leg. They start to tangle on the ground, with both sending out kicks at each other.

Eventually, Satan takes the opportunity to stand. This causes Chem to spin up using his from hooves, and fly at Satan with his rear. The attack lands, and Satan falls over with Chem standing on top of him.

Chem moves his hoof to Satan’s neck, and smiles, “It’s over.”

Satan summons a knife in one hand, and tries to stab Chem, causing him to retreat.

Satan charges towards Chem with the knife, and they begin another fight.

Satan tries all sorts of slashes and stabs, and Chem either stumbles out of the way, or manages to block them.

Satan smiles, and goes for an over-head stab downwards.

Chem blocks it with his foreleg, and twists Satan’s arm around, causing him to drop the knife. He uses his other hoof to punch Satan in the face, and send him flopping down.

Satan looks towards the knife, and Chem does too. He reaches out a hoof, almost like he is about to pick it up, but he kicks it off into the depths of Tartarus instead.

He looks down at Satan, “It’s over!”

Satan smiles, and nods, “It is true, you are the one!” He looks over the cliff, “That knife was to see if you would show mercy or not.”

Chem gets off him, and helps him up, “I will never kill anyone. Ever.”

Satan nods, “Very good. Now I can feel confident by telling you the information.” He points out the gates, “There exists a resistance group of very smart, powerful, and influential ponies. In Ponyville is the stallion, Time Turner. He is not as smart as my Time Lord brother, granted, but he is a very smart pony nonetheless. Knock on his door five times, and ask him if he has directions to Eternity.”

Chem nods, “Ok.”

Satan opens the gates, and points, “Go, quickly! Princess Twilight will be waking up soon, and she cannot see you enter his house! Ride Cerberus, he’ll take you there!”

Chem runs out to Cerberus, who waits for him with heads down.

Chem climbs on top of the heads, and smiles, “Let’s go!”

Hospitality

Chem rushes his way through Ponyville, sending Cerberus on a different path to trick any who might try to track him.

He moves through allyways, using the material from trash bags to have a long, black coat obscure him. He blends in well enough, and he hides behind a dumpster.

Time passes, and eventually an hour has gone by. The moon hangs in the sky, and the only ponies on the streets are guards with lanterns, searching for him.

He stands from the dumpster, and sheds his coat. He instead uses the material on his hooves, so that he may be silent as he sneaks past the guards.

He rushes down ally after ally, the interconnectedness of inner Ponyville making it easy.

However, he suddenly stops as he sees the light of a lantern start to get brighter. He dives behind a dumpster as a guard passes by, who manages to hear his scampering in the corner.

She holds up her lantern, and walks into the ally. She especially hurries as she sees a blue glow from behind the dumpster, akin to how the Princess described the stallion’s magic.

She flies around the corner, holding her lantern out, and drawing her sword. She prepares to attack, only to see nothing but a trash bag on the ground.

She stares at the trash, waiting for any sign of movement from inside. Her ears perk, listening for the slightest rustle.

After a minute, she finally sighs, and walks away, “Must have been my paranoia.”

Chem waits two minutes more before shedding the trash bag disguise. He gets up, and quickly rushes to the clock store he spotted when spying on Berry Punch’s place before.

He makes it without further incident, and looks around to see not a single guard mare in sight.

He knocks five times, loud and clear.

A tan stallion answers the door, a green bow tie hastily thrown onto his neck, and his spiky brown hair not combed. He smiles, “Yes?”

Chem looks in his eyes, the two different shades of blue meeting another, “Do you have directions to Eternity?”

The stallion waves him in, “Get in, before the guard spot you.” He shuts the door behind Chem, and smiles, “So, we have a new member? Wonderful! Oh, I’m Time Turner, by the way.”

A grey pegasus mare walks down the stairs, her golden eyes looking in different directions, and her yellow hair combed, “Who is it, Timey?”

Time Turner smiles, “A new member of our group, apparently!” He looks back at Chem, “Oh, uh, what is your name, exactly?”

Chem smiles, “My name is Chem Patton, although I ask you just call me Chem.”

Turner smiles, “Good, good! Well, this over here is Derpy, she’s part of the group and is my beloved marefriend. Oh, you arrived just in time! We were just preparing to go to the meeting at Fancy’s!”

Derpy smiles, “We still are preparing, so go and fix up that hair, Turner.” She looks at Chem, and balks at the grey color of his coat, “You haven’t had a bath in a long time, have you?”

Chem nods, “Can’t say I have, been to busy running and drinking. What, don’t like the Confederate Grey color?”

Derpy shakes her head, “Well that’s unacceptable. We couldn’t just allow you to continue to go on with so much dirt all over you! Timey, get the bath ready!”

Time Turner nods, and rushes off, “We going to need extra warm for this?”

Derpy nods, “I doubt that grime will come off easily.”

Chem smiles, “No, no, you really don’t need to do anything for me. I am perfectly fine staying how I am.”

She shakes her head, “And what kind of pony would I be if I didn’t clean you up?”

Chem nods, “A good one for making the offer to begin with. So, really, I’m fine.”

Derpy smiles, “Fine just isn’t good enough for our guest. You will take a bath, and you will feel good, then you can go see the others with a brilliantly shining coat!”

Chem nods, “You aren’t letting me say no, are you?”

Derpy nods right on back, “Come on, we’ve got the bath drawn already.”

Time Turner pokes his head out of a room, “You got that shampoo and conditioner Rarity uses?”

Derpy smiles, “In the right side of the cabinet.”

Chem shakes his head, “You really don’t have to use any type of special product.”

Derpy looks back at him, her eyes leaving no argument, “We are going to see what color your coat truly is, no matter the cost.”

Time Turner pokes his head out again, grasping the shampoo bottle in his hoof, “Your coat seems a lot like if Rarity’s got dirty, and she manages to keep that pure white. So if we use this, we’ll get that nice white shine she has.”

Derpy nods, “We are not going to stop until you shine.”

Friends

Chem looks at himself in the mirror, taking notice of everything.

His previously grey coat now shines a brilliant, pure white, like a diamond forged in the depths of the earth. His horn’s spirals are accentuated by the shine on the rest of the horn, polished and shined like a expensive leather shoe. His once unkempt mane is now kept in a more natural, better looking way. It comes together in the front with equally sized three spikes, with his horn at the end of the middle most. His eyes as well almost seem to be brighter, better commutative of his emotions. His hooves also shine the exact same, reflecting like they were made of brass. He smiles, his teeth reflecting light back at themselves.

Time Turner walks up behind him, and smiles widely, “See? Look how much better you are.”

Derpy walks out of another room, donning a yellow bow tie, “What color bow tie should he get?”

Time Turner looks back at Chem, “Hmm... how about a nice red?”

Derpy smiles, “Usually you say green.”

Turner shrugs, “It would be very odd if he showed up to the first meeting in the same color bow tie as me.”

Chem smiles, “A bow tie?”

Turner nods, “Yes, a bow tie. I like bow ties, and you are our guest, so you get a bow tie.”

Derpy hands the red bow tie over to Turner, “Here you go.”

Turner puts it on over Chem’s neck, completed with a white collar that blends perfectly into Chem’s clean coat. He smiles, “Ah, wonderful! It looks like the bow tie is just floating there, that adds to the mystery.”

Chem turns to the others, “Thank you both for your hospitality.”

Turner shakes his head, “Ah, don’t worry, we have plenty to spare. Beside, if you are going to join the group, than we need to extend a proper welcome. I expect you will quickly become friends with the others as well.”

Chem nods, “Still, thank you.”

Derpy smiles, “Speaking of the others, it is time to go.”

Turner nods, and starts to walk out of the door, “Come along, Chem, we have a private cabin in a train waiting for us!”

Chem follows after him, “We’re taking the train? I thought it would’ve been something a bit more... subtle.”

Turner shrugs, “What’s the point of being subtle when there is no one looking for you?”

Chem laughs nervously, “Well, uh, there are people looking for me.”

Turner smiles, “Nothing we need to worry about, Chem.”

They walk to the train station, and find a guard standing at the tracks. The mare spots them, and walks over to them, “Excuse me, you three, might I speak to you for a moment?”

Turner stops, “Well, whatever is the reason?”

The mare nods, “We are looking for an escaped stallion, and your friend over there matches his description.”

Derpy speak now, “And what description is that?”

The mare turns to her, “A grey unicorn stallion with unkempt, teal hair. Average size, blue eyes, and an average horn size. He is also reported as being rude, crude, and roguish.”

Chem puts all of his acting skills to use, and backs up in fake shock, “Rude? Crude? You would automatically call me that just because I have a similar color of hair? You wound me, absolutely shock me.”

The guard backs up a step in shock, “Well, uh... maybe it isn’t you?”

Derpy nods, “I mean, look at him! He is white, not grey, and his hair is very well taken care of!”

The mare sighs, “Okay, okay, it isn’t him! But I still am required to ask why he is here.”

Turner faces her, “He’s a cousin from Minotuaria, and we are taking him to see Canterlot.”

The guard nods, “Thank you. Might you have any information on the stallion we are looking for?”

Chem comes up with something before the other two, “I think I saw a stallion who looked a lot like me in town last night. From what I saw, he crawled into a dumpster and didn’t come back out for five minutes.”

The guard smiles, “Thank you for the information, sir. I’m sorry for the misunderstanding. Have a nice day.”

Turner smiles back, “Good luck catching that stallion.”

They all climb onto the train.

Turner faces Chem as they sit down for the trip, “What did I tell you? Nothing to worry about.”

———

The group move into a room in the middle of the mansion, and they see the others have already arrived.

Fancy Pants smiles, “Ah, Turner, Derpy, it’s wonderful to see you both again!”

Tuner smiles back, “It’s been a long month at the clock shop.”

Fancy Pants looks at the other present, “Oh, and who’s this?”

Chem smiles, “I am Chem Patton, but please call me Chem.”

Fancy Pants nods, “Well met, Chem. I am Fancy Pants, owner of this mansion, and noble.”

The others all take turns introducing themselves, starting with another white stallion, “I am Prince Blueblood, but please don’t act like I’m not a normal pony.”

The small green and purple reptile speaks next, “I’m Spike, the dragon, nice to meet you, dude.”

The only other mare at the table speaks up, “And I am Fleur De Lis, although please call me Fleur. I’m wife to Fancy Pants.”

Chem smiles, and takes a seat at the table. He nods, “Well, I was told about your group. Smart, powerful, influential, and willing to do something.”

Fancy Pants nods, “Well, I believe that might describe us, yes.”

Blueblood speaks up, “Although we cannot do much with any of it.”

Fleur also speaks, “We have yet to really come up with a working plan.”

Turner shrugs, “I’ve tried my best, but it would be very hard, and require someone very brave to do anything.”

Derpy speaks last, “We don’t have anypony leading us, and none of us are brave enough to try anything.”

Chem nods, “Understandable. You are all frightened of what Celestia will do if she finds out about you.”

Spike nods, “Well, yeah, basically. I don’t want Twilight to chew my ear off about this.”

Chem smiles, “And that is the problem, you are thinking too much of what might happen. Here’s what I say, ponies.” He looks at all of them as they lean in, “Fuck the consequences, and to hell with the ‘if’ of anything. Realize what we are fighting for here, ponies! We are not fighting just for ourselves, but for stallions as a whole, present and future! So why the hell should we care what happens to us? We should move in spite of the consequences, in spite of the ‘if’, and instead look for the ‘will’.”

Spike nods, “You know, it sounds good, but we would need a plan.”

Chem nods, “Correct, Spike.” He smiles, “And I have just come up with one. Ladies and gentlemen, prepare your throat singing.”

Oh No

A group of ponies walk through the streets of Canterlot, donning the simple robes of monks from afar. Ponies turn to looks at the odd group as they sing some odd hymns.

“Ra-ra-Rasputin.
Lover of the Russian Queen.
There was a cat who really was gone.”

Chem and the others all sing the notes in hushed, deep tones, keeping their hoods up and heads down.

They eventually reach the castle, but two guard mares stop them at the gates, “Halt! State your business!”

Chem smiles underneath his robe, and puts on his best mysterious voice, “We come from far away, wishing to spread our wisdom to your fair Princess. Wishing to give her the vision we have seen.”

The guard smiles, “Oh, really? And what, prey tell, is your origin?”

Derpy speaks up from behind Chem, “We come from Sirely, and from the Church of the Calf-Licks.”

Chem nods, “We come with a vison sent by Jehllawhey. A vision that must be delivered to your Princess.”

The guards look at each other, and shrug. They part ways, “The Princess is open for private meetings today. You’d better hurry though.”

They nods, and move into the palace.

Time Tuner whispers into Derpy’s ear, “He said Cath-olic, not Calf-Lick.”

She shrugs, “Eh, it worked.”

Chem smiles, “She is right, it worked.”

They start up their songs again, as they move into Celestia’s private meeting room.

She looks up as they enter, “Oh, what’s this? Visitors?”

Chem nods, “We come, Celestia, to deliver a vision we have received. The Catholics send their well wishes along with a message from our god.”

Celestia puts down a book, and adopts a smile, “Well, let’s hear it then.”

Chem smiles, “Our vision shows your nation as it is right now, with stallions kept down in society. It is then that the vision changed, showing a disgruntled group of your citizens coming up to you and asking you to help them. The vision split into two different versions.”

Time Tuner takes his turn to speak, “If you accepted their request, and changed the laws against males, then the world went on to live in peace. A new golden age, without enemy, without war, and prosperous.”

Chem continues after him, “But, if you said no, then the group would try more drastic measures. It reaches the point that one reaches a level to face you, and the stallions manage to defeat you. Many are harmed, many families are torn apart, and other nations take advantage of your weakness. But, above all, is a male alicorn that rises to defeat you.”

Celestia’s eyes widen, “A male alicorn? Did the vison specify anything about him!?”

Chem shakes his head, “The only thing seen was that he almost glowed a white color.”

Celestia shakes her head, “No, that’s impossible, he wouldn’t awaken because of me not giving up the stallion population!”

Chem stamps his hoof down, “Celestia, focus! Now exists the time for you to make a choice. Will you chose equality? Or war?”

Celestia looks over at him, “Why would you want to know?”

Chem takes his hood off, not noticing Spike slowly sneaking behind Celestia with his ribe still tight.

The others all take their own off, and Celestia nods, “Blueblood, Fancy Pants, Fluer, Derpy? Even you, Time Turner? After how may jobs I gave you? You do know I will not take this lightly, and you will not get another contract from me, right?”

Turner takes the verbal strike without moving, “I don’t care, Celestia. This cause is beyond contacts, it’s beyond me!”

Celestia scoffs, “So, your vision was false, and I have no reason to actually care about all of you. I’ve said this many times, as soon as the stallion population reaches a stable point, they will be made equal to mares.”

Spike slowly moves behind Celestia, carrying a frying pan in his claws. He swings it, and knocks Celestia out with a blow to the back of her head.

Chem’s eyes widen as an alarm starts to go off in the palace, “Oh shit! Everyone, cheese it!” He picks Spike up, and takes off into a hallway.

He runs quickly with a group of guards chasing after him.

He seems fine until he runs into someone. He looks to see Time Turner looking dazed, “Oh, this hallway goes in a square. Oh no, this hallway goes in a square!” Guards close in around them, and his eyes widen, “We’re trapped!”

Chem looks around, looking for a way out.

He is blinded as the sun shines through a stained glass window next to him, and he puts a hoof on Turner’s shoulder, “Come on, out the window!”

Turner looks at him, “You serious?!”

But Chem has already burst open the window with his elbow, and he prepares to jump out.

Turner and him jump out at the same time, with Spike grasped firmly in his hooves.

They fall to the ground, only to find something in the way.

They land on a cart of a sofa salesman, all three safe on the padded cushions.

But they knock it lose from it’s holders, and the sofa starts to slip out of the cart.

It finally falls, and starts to slip down the street.

Sofa

Ponies scream and dodge as the peaceful afternoon in Canterlot is ruined by three fucking idiots.

Turner screams the loudest as the couch starts to pick up speed down the cobbles streets, “What do we do?!”

Chem looks at his available resources, and comes up with a solution, “Spike got us into this mess, he’ll get us out of it!”

He picks up Spike, and holds him to the right of the couch.

He yells, “Fire!”

Spike lets loose his fire out of pure fear, and the couch is shifted sideways.

Chem smiles and laughs, “It works!” He climbs up, looking down the street, “Right, quickly!”

Spike breathes once more, and they narrowly avoid a group of foals.

Chem shouts once more, “Left! Left!”

Spike rushes over, and continues his work.

Once again, they narrowly avoid something, a family of ducks in this case.

Time Tuner faces Chem, “We got fliers!”

Chem turns around to see a squad of pegasi guards flying high above him. He quickly uses his magic, and steals a slingshot from a kid they are passing by. He shoves it into Turner’s hooves, “Shoot them!”

Time Turner fumbles with it, “Me?! I don’t know how to use this!”

Another one joins them on the couch, as Derpy flies down to them. She takes the slingshot for herself, “I got it!”

She flies back into the air, and starts to shoot down the pegasi from up close.

Chem looks forward again, issuing another command, “Left! Turner, get on the right!””

Turner follows his commands, sliding over to the right side of the huge couch. He instantly spots what he is supposed to do.

Prince Blueblood is running in an ally, with a squad of guards giving him chase. He looks behind him, but hears Turner’s voice, “Jump!”

Blueblood listens, and jumps as he exits the ally. He finds himself impacting a couch, and a brown hoof pulls him all the way on.

He looks around to see Chem issuing orders to Spike as they try to avoid any obstacles. Turner smiles at him, and Blueblood looks at the street, “Chem, we’re going the wrong way!”

Chem looks over at him, “Then navigate us to the nearest gate!”

Blueblood jumps up, and begins issuing orders of his own, “Spike, ally on the left!”

Spike rushes to the right, causing Turner to move over. He breathes with all his strength, and they go flying into the ally, and onto another street.

Chem looks up in the air, seeing guards falling from the sky. Not dead, but unconscious. He turns his eyes to the ground, and sees another one of them running on the street.

Turner sees her as well, and looks at Chem, “If we add more weight to this thing, it will be uncontrollable!”

Chem nods, “Then I will remove weight!”

Tuner picks up on his meaning, quickly, “No, you’ll be caught!”

Chem smiles, “Maybe I will, maybe I won’t, doesn’t really matter. You guys get away and I’m happy! Besides, when did danger ever stop me?”

He jumps off, and lands running on the cobbled street.

He shouts, “Fleur, to your right!”

She looks, and takes the hoof Turner offers her. She is pulled onto the couch, and it goes speeding away on the hilly path.

Turner looks back at Chem, seeing him being surrounded by guards.

Chem looks around him as guards encircle him, covering both ground and air. He smiles, “So, you’re probably wondering how I ended up in this wacky situation.”

One guard smirks, “Tell it to Celestia.”

Chem raises an eyebrow, “You make it sound like you are going to take me to her. In reality, however, you have left my escape wide open.”

He rushes at one of the guards, jumping through the air. He lands on the guard’s head, and uses it to backflip onto the head of one of the pegasi guards. He then bounces off of them even higher up, landing on another pegasus head.

He flips off of them, and onto the roof of the building.

He lands confidently, and continues his previous run to the edge of the roof. Once again, he jumps, but he lands on the next building’s roof.

He continues to parkour across the rooftops, with pegasi guards giving chase.

They almost catch up to Chem, until one of them have a rock fly and hit the side of their head.

Derpy flies down to Chem’s level, letting loose with stones at the guards following him. Each shot rings true, and the guards eventually all fall.

Chem runs until he reaches the final rooftop. He looks down at the guards below, and jumps a final time.

In midair, his hoof is caught by Derpy, and she lifts him away. They both fly over the walls of Canterlot, far away from harm.

Down below, the couch nears the gates. However, the gates seem to be closed.

A unicorn stands on top of the wall, and he twirls a bag of gold around his hoof, “Well, all I’m saying is that opening that gate could mean I will accidentally drop this bag somewhere. Or, maybe more bags.”

The mare cocks an eyebrow, “How many bags?”

Fancy sighs, “Well, hypothetically, six.”

The mare hits the lever, opening the gates. Fancy smiles, and drops six bags of gold.

He walks to the edge of the wall, “Ta-ta, my dear!”

He vaults over it, but instead of hitting the ground, he hits a couch.

Turner looks at Fancy, and smiles. Fancy nods at him, “Where’s Chem? Or Derpy?”

Turner points into the air, where they see two ponies soaring right above them. Fancy could almost swear that Chem smiled down at them.

The couch continues down the mountain, with the two floating above it.

———

The couch makes it’s way through the Everfree, managing to dodge trees with Spike’s fire.

They allow it to continue on, until it comes to an inevitable stop.

The five get off of it, and the other two fly down to meet them. Chem smiles, “Follow me, I think I saw something this way.”

They move through the forest, until they come across a ravine. Turner looks across, “What is that?”

Chem smiles, and motions at the castle, “Our new home!” He then nods, “We need a base for our operations, right? And a castle makes sense. So welcome to Slane Castle!”

Planning

Turner tilts his head, “Slane? That’s the Castle of the Royal Sisters.”

Chem looks at him, “This place had a name? Eh, whatever, it’s Slane Castle now. Come on, we have plans to make.”

The others all hesitantly follow him as he sets off across a rickety bridge. Yet, as he takes a step onto it, a board breaks, and is sent into the canyon below.

He shakes his head, “Alright, time to move back to stable land.” He jumps back onto land, and stares at the bridge even more. He smiles, “Alright, time to use that special magic.”

He sits down, and looks into the canyon below. He focuses on the dirt and stone of the earth, and begins to barter with it.

The others all look at him oddly, as he stares into nothingness. Fancy Pants looks over to Turner, “Uh, Turner, is this common?”

Turner shrugs, “Uh, never seen him do this before, so I have no idea.”

Chem finally comes to a conclusion with the Mana.

His horn glows brightly, and the stone and dirt begin to rise out of the canyon. Throughout the entire canyon, magical forces pick up all the earth and forces it upward.

Eventually, the dirt hits the bridge. It continues on, until the landscape begins to look like there never was a canyon to begin with.

Chem stands up, and walks confidently across the field leading up to the castle. Everyone else stares at him in awe, and rush to catch up.

Blueblood is the first to speak, “Forgive my language, but how in Tartarus did you manage to do that?! Only the Alicorns of old would be able to do such a feat!”

Chem looks over at him, “Oh, well, I just convinced the Mana to move up. You know, with how many ponies abuse Mana, they were very willing to listen to me asking kindly.”

Blueblood nods, “So you are saying you managed to convince the Chaotic Mana into doing your will?”

Chem shakes his head, “No. I convinced the Mana that it’s will was to do that. The only part of my will was me saying I would appreciate it if they did. It’s like when you convince a foal they never wanted to do something, just by planting an idea, saying how good it would be, and implying they’d be doing you a favor if they did it.”

Blueblood takes what Chem says in for a second, “So you convinced the Chaotic Mana into doing your will by convincing it that your will was it’s will?”

Chem nods, “Yes. Then I offered them my body as a catalyst in order to complete the job, which they accepted. Thus, in the end, none of my Natural Mana would be lost, I would gain a refill on Mana, and I could complete the deed.”

Blueblood smiles, “Well, I didn’t know you were a Plures Orator, Chem.”

Chem raises an eyebrow, “Plures Orator?”

Blueblood nods, “Yes, translating roughly into Mana Speaker from Old Equestrian. They are special individuals who posses the ability to communicate with Chaotic Mana in order to achieve their will.”

Turner speaks up, “Wait, wasn’t the last one Starswirl the Bearded?”

Blueblood shakes his head, “Most people think he was the last one, but they forget the lesser known of his apprentices. After Starswirl the Bearded died, his student known as Starburst the Caped became the final known Plures Orator. Nopony remembers him much, as Princess Celestia was powerful enough to defeat any monster that rose without him. So he faded into obscurity, and was never seen again.”

Turner nods, “That was at least nine hundred years ago, wasn’t it?”

Blueblood nods, “Yes, it was. Chem here exists as the first Plures Orator in a very long time. In fact, one of the final quotes ever heard from Starburst the Caped was that the next Plures Orator shall come in a time of great need, and would hold the powers of all reality in his hooves.”

Chem shakes his head, “He was probably a crazy old man anyway, wouldn’t know anything about me. I certainly don’t plan on carrying reality in my hooves, it’d be hard to walk carrying all that.”

Blueblood shrugs, “You might be right, but being a Plures Orator does shine good on our cause. Every one in history, up to this point, was able to match an alicorn in power. Starswirl was seen defeating Luna right before the Elements were used on her, and Starburst was rumored to be even stronger than Starswirl. If you are truly so powerful, then we may just be able to defeat Celestia!”

Chem nods, “Yes, a very good thought, but you are getting ahead of yourself.” Chem sits down on the floor in the middle of an old throne room. He takes a swig of whisky, and looks at all the others, “Everyone needs to do something. Already, I have a few suggestions. Spike, Celestia didn’t see you, and you have acces to someone quite popular. I need you to spy on the messages between Twilight and Celestia, and spread propaganda around Ponyville, and other towns. We need recruits.”

Blueblood adds in his own once Chem is done, “If I may, I could make a map of the surrounding area. If Auntie Celestia were to really march an army here, we need to know the nearby geography just in case. If we lose, we need to mark a meeting point, and if we win we need to know how to give chase.”

Chem nods, “You a good cartographer?”

Blueblood nods, “It’s been a while, Auntie didn’t want me doing anything strenuous by exploring, but it is my special talent.” He shows his flank a bit, showing a compass rose, “So I should still be able to make a pretty good looking map.”

Chem nods, “We’ll, uh... ‘requisition’ some supplies for you.”

Time Turner speaks up, “Oh, uh, if I may, I have an idea of what I can do.” He smiles as everyone looks towards him, and clears his throat, “Uh, well, I can travel around to different towns and spread the word of our revolution. Gain it traction, members, post up propaganda, all that.”

Chem tilts his head, “Wouldn’t Celestia have a wanted sign out for your head? You were the one who spoke directly to her.”

Turner scratches behind his head, “I, uh, can... disguise myself really well. They’ll never even question me.”

Chem nods, “Alright, Turner, I will trust you.”

Derpy speaks up, “Actually, might I be able to accompany him? I’m also really good at disguise.”

Chem looks at the two, “Are you two sure? You won’t have any support but yourself out there.”

Derpy nods, “Don’t worry, Chem, we’ll be fine.”

Turner stands up, “We’d better start early. Good luck, every pony. We’ll be back with reinforcements.”

The two trot off, and Chem turns to the others, “Alright, Fancy Pants, Fluer, what can you two do?”

Fancy Pants nods, “I can hire some workers to fix this place up. Repair the hole in the roof, install a new door, rebuild walls, everything. Being rich has it’s benefits.”

Chem nods, “Okay Fancy, you are in charge of repairs. Fluer?”

She smiles, “Well, I do know how to sew and tailor. I could make some clothes.”

Chem smiles, “You can make badass robes for us to wear? Yes, immediately, yes!” He recovers, and looks around, “Okay, everyone, the fate of millions lay on our shoulders. Let’s do this, and let’s work together. Everyone, let’s go!”

———

Time Turner looks into the distance, as he is covered in a blue flame.

The flame dissipates as it reaches the bottom of his hooves, showing his full insectoid form. His eyes glow a bright blue as he looks back.

Derpy herself is covered in a brown flame, one that transforms herself back to her natural form. Her eyes glow brown and she smiles.

He smiles back, “You want to accompany me, Traicere?”

She nods, “Of course I do, Tempus. You’re still my coltfriend, in disguise or out. Besides, why would I ever allow you to go alone?”

Tempus looks back to the distance, “Do you believe it will work? Think they’ll all listen to us?”

Traicere puts a hoof on his shoulder, “They will, Tempus, don’t worry about it. Messorem is always craving a war, equality would help my Hive and King Laevus with the satisfaction of winning. Chrysalis will see that this will increase love outputs, so she’ll be on board. And Nullam has long hated the ways of Celestia.”

Tempus nods, “Chem might not know yet, but we will be helping him more than he can imagine.”

She smiles, “He will know. I can only hope he doesn’t find out who we are until the end of the war. He might claim treachery because of us being changelings.”

Tempus laughs, “I’d be surprised if he didn’t already know, considering he could probably feel the Satisfaction Mana and Healing Mana inside of us. Besides, I trust him. He wouldn’t hurt us intentionally.”

She nods, “You’re right, so come on, let’s get going. The Moot begins soon.”

And so, Tempus and Traicere spread their wings, and take off. They head for the far away Central Hive, yet hope keeps their wings fast.

Conscription

Tempus and Traicere land outside a giant hive in the middle of a desert. They both find their footing quickly on the familiar burning sands.

Another changeling stands at the door to the hive, wearing a cloak. He moves the hood down, and looks at the two with surprise, green eyes glowing, “Tempus, Traicere? The Moot stands ready.”

Traicere smiles as she moves closer to him, “Thorax? I didn’t know that you were here.”

Throax smiles, “Someone needs to play Satan’s advocate for Chrysalis. Besides, what type of friend would I be if I left you two alone?”

Tempus moves on into the Hive, the other two following him. He looks back to Thorax, “So, tell us, how’s the Queen been as of late? After the failed invasion, I worry for her.”

Thorax sighs, “She looks for revenge, though her mind still truly yearns for the Hive to recover. I fear that she may join for the wrong reasons without me there to keep her calm.” He looks at Tempus, “This leader, do you think he will allow us to finally feed?”

Tempus nods, “I’m sure of it. Chem is very understanding, and doesn’t seem to openly discriminate anything. That is what Friten said, yes?”

Said changeling comes out of a nearby hallway. Her reptilian eyes glow slightly red, her Thestral wings spread at her side. She nods, “Chem responded well to various provocations from different Everfree creatures. When introduced to certain bad situations in dreams, he responded well and calmly. I met with him in many different forms, including thestral, zebra, and minotaur. Responses ranged from indifferent to positive depending on activity and previous social interactions.”

Traicere smiles, “See, Thorax, I’m sure he will. If Friten says he reacted well then, he will react well later.”

Friten slightly smiles, “Do not worry, Traicere, or you Tempus, if Queen Messorem doesn’t join, which is unlikely, then I shall lead the army myself.” She then halts suddenly at the end of the long hall, “Wait for the Bards to announce us. Yes, there are Bards, I made sure to go the whole ten miles here.”

On the other side of a door, the Bards let out trumpet blasts. A changeling moves forward, and announce to the seated Kings and Queens. He unrolls a scroll, and announces, “Presenting the four Advisors! Friten, the Crossbreed!”

She opens the door, and moves out into the great room. She walks towards the Red Throne, and kneels before Messorem.

“Thorax, the Soother!”

Throax moves out into the same room. He marches in front of the Green Throne, and kneels before Chrysalis.

“Traicere, the Friendly!”

Traicere marches out, and moves to the Brown Throne. She kneels before Laevus.

“And finally, Tempus, the Doctor!”

Tempus moves through the door, and heads straight for the Blue Throne. He kneels down before Nullam.

Changelings in the audience all around create hands, and clap for the four. Eventually, the applause dies down, and the four stand.

They all turn to face the center of the room, facing the one opposite of them. Tempus faces Throax, just as the Blue Throne faces the Green Throne. Traicere faces Friten, just as the Brown Throne faces the Red Throne.

King Laevus speaks in a booming voice, “We offically call this Moot into order!”

Queen Messorem speaks from across him, “We have been called here by request of the Advisors Tempus and Traicere. Advisors, step in and speak!”

Both of them march out into the middle of the ring. Traicere begins speaking as soon as they arrive, “Kings and Queens of Changelings, we come here with a plea that may change history forever! We plea that you listen and judge fairly!”

Tempus follows up, “As known, we were assigned to the town of Ponyville in order to spy on the new Princess of Friendship, and to begin our plans for a coup. However, as we found a group of revolutionaries, we got one member in particular. Chem Patton, who quickly lead our group to the Princess, promptly knocked her out, and got all of us out of her Palace alive. He is now beginning preproations for a large scale attack against Princess Celestia, using ponies as his soldiers. Yet we fear, despite his cleverness and aptitude as a leader, he might not have enough ponies to fight. So we ask for the armies of Changelings to unite behind him, so we may finally take down Celestia’s tyranny!”

The leaders all watch the two in the middle. Their faces all betray the emotions they feel.

Nullam sits in great thought, pondering over the situation of his advisor.

Laevus smiles at Traicere, pride present within it.

Chrysalis grins madly, but that grin slowly disappears as Thorax talks to her. It eventually fades to a look of understanding.

Messorem looks down to Friten, a red glow being shared between them as they talk telepathically.

King Laevus breaks the silence, “I fully support this endeavor. Celestia’s matriarchy has long pushed males down, and I have had enough! If this Chem Patton fellow fully believes in the ideals of Traicere‘s group, then I trust him! He will make a good leader in place of Celestia!”

King Nullam sits back, still pondering, “I am willing to trust Chem Patton, if Tempus trusts him as well. However, I cannot help but wonder how much death he might bring around. Death is bad for my Hive, it is bad for every Hive. War means death, does it not? Yet, for such a goal... I am conflicted. Tell me, Tempus, what would be the death toll of a possible campaign?”

Tempus thinks for a bit, “That depends on Celestia. Chem is a pacifist, such we have seen. Else there would be a pile of dead guards within Canterlot, or an already dead Celestia. I feel he is very honor bound and pacifistic. If given a knife and an enemy to defeat, he would disable, leaving someone for us to heal. However, if Celestia adopts a policy of no mercy, then it depends on the outcome of this Moot. If we fail, then the max would be one hundred in worst case scenario. And if the worst were to happen should this Moot succeed, then that number increases to the entirety of Changelings. However, the worst case scenario is rare. On average, I would say about one dead out of every hundredth combatant.”

Queen Chrysalis looks to Nullam, “I believe I am in the same boat as our brother. Revenge is appealing to me as of now, yet my Hive is already weak, and we cannot afford to fight in a war we are not guaranteed a high chance of winning in.”

Queen Messorem looks at the others, and smiles, “This is a war, how could I not be involved? Not only is it a war, but it is for such a righteous purpose! Chem Patton will make a good King for Equestria, I am sure of it. It can open up relations between us, and give us leverage as his helpers. I put my support behind Tempus and Traicere!”

Queen Chrysalis looks over at her, “What makes us so sure he would be able to beat Celestia, though? We don’t know if he would win. We don’t know if we are sending our Hives to death for nothing!”

Tempus speaks up, “Actually, Queen Chrysalis, we know he is near Celestia’s power as of now. Chem Patton is a Plures Orator. I saw it myself when he raised the rock out of a gorge and convinced the Mana to fill in the gorge. Such a feat is one only alicorns would be able to preform. He is powerful, Queen Chrysalis, and he can beat Celestia!”

King Nullam leans back, “Chem Patton is a Plures Orator? You had not mentioned such information, Tempus. The Plures Orator always manages to bring around an era of change. Yet it is clear he will need us to take on Celestia’s armies. Tempus, the Doctor, I shall rally my Medics to support Chem Patton and the revolution.”

Chrysalis looks at the other three, and nods, “Very well then. The army of the Green Hive shall follow Chem Patton!”

Throax smiles broadly, and almost lets out a laugh. Yet he manages to keep his composure.

Tempus and Traicere bow to the Queens and Kings of the Changlings. They rise, and await for their orders.

Training

Chem stands in a forest clearing, a group of twenty stallions in front of him. He smiles, “Alright, listen on up, because I don’t want to repeat myself. We shall not kill a single pony, and we shall fight in a non lethal manner. We shall learn to kick, we shall learn to punch, we shall learn to bash. We will not learn how to stab, we will not learn to kill.”

One the stallions scoff, “What are we learning for, a bar fight?”

Chem snaps his vision to the stallion, “Excuse me? Can you say that again?”

The stallion takes a step back as Chem focuses on him, “Oh, uh, are we learning for a bar fight?”

Chem glares at him, “You are lucky that you brought that up. Otherwise, I might have beat some sense into you.” Chem takes a step back, “Our style of fight does rely upon the same logic as a bar fight, yes. We will use our environment to the best ability that we can. In a bar, you pick up a chair to bash someone. Here, it is a tree branch, and you shall learn to fight with that branch and your own two hooves!”

The stallions all nod along.

Chem looks to them, “The objective of your fighting is to not get hit. And if you are, you must redirect the force, and not absorb it. Dodge, leave the opponent wide open, take the opportunity. Those are the three main steps.” He smiles, “Would anyone like a demonstration?”

All but one or two of them raise their hooves.

Chem nods, “Good, then I need something very simple. One of you need to scream like a terrified little filly, and another needs to howl like a wolf.”

One of the stallions step forward, “I can do that, sir!”

Chem’s eyes widen, “Really? I thought we would have to kick someone in the balls for this to work. Go on ahead, I wanna hear this. What’s your name, stallion?”

The stallion smiles, “Mimic, sir. I was always skilled at mimicking noises, you see.”

Chem nods, “Very well, Mimic. If you can do it, you get whiskey.”

Mimic nods. He clears his throat, and looks into the sky. He opens his mouth, and charges up for a second.

Then, an ear piercing, window shattering screech comes from him. Everyone around him, including Chem, move to cover their ears as the screech continues. It sounds like someone stuffed a bat down a filly’s throat and told her to sing a national anthem, with the bat providing rhythm with it’s own screeches.

After ten seconds, the screech dies down. Everyone uncover their ears, only to hear Mimic let out a howl. The sound from the howl travels across the entire forest, and echos itself through the nearby Ghastly Gorge.

Chem stares at awe upon hearing them. He laughs as soon as the howl dies down, “Okay, if you could do that first one in the middle of battle, we might just get everyone to retreat. Honestly, good fucking work, you’re getting a promotion. Might not even be a hierarchy, but you’ll move up when there is one.”

One of the stallions raise a hoof, “Uh, quick question, sir, but what was that supposed to do?”

His answer comes quickly as a timberwolf breaks into the clearing. All of the stallions flee to the other side of the clearing, leaving just Chem to face the wolf.

Chem smiles, “Attract this, such was the goal. Now, allow me to teach you how to fight!”

The timberwolf looks around the clearing, unsure of the situation it has been placed in. It sniffs the air, searching for the filly.

Chem faces the timberwolf, and enters into his bipedal fighting stance. He stomps down, forcing the wolf to look at him, “Come on you bloody cunt, we haven’t got all day fuckface!”

The wolf growls, and lunges towards Chem.

Chem takes a step back with half his body, the half where the wolf is jumping towards. The single step back was far enough as to where the wolf latches onto nothing but air, and lands right in front of Chem’s hoof.

He kneels down on that side, lowing his hoof to under the chin of the wolf. Then, he jumps up, and shouts, “Shoryuken!”

He sends the wolf flying back, as he himself jumps into the air. He and the wolf both land at the same time, and face each other once again.

The wolf growls, and charges towards Chem.

It reaches him quickly, and lashes out with a paw. Chem takes a step forward, being so close to the wolf that it can’t hit him with that paw. He then ducks underneath the wolf, curling his hooves around it’s other leg.

With only one front leg on the ground, the wolf is quite unsteady. Thus it is easy for Chem to roll over, and flip the wolf onto it’s back.

He pins the wolf down, and pries at it’s leg. With a final burst of strength, he rips the branch from the wolf.

It howls in pain as Chem climbs off it. Branches and leaves come from all around, and form a new leg.

The wolf stands, and lets loose a howl of rage as if charges Chem once more. It jumps for his throat, planning on ripping it out.

Chem flips back, landing with one leg forward, and another behind. He smiles, “Batter up!”

He twists his entire body into the blow, hitting so hard with the claw that the wolf’s head spins around in it’s socket.

The timberwolf takes a step back as Chem stands there, ready for more. It whines, and rushes back into the forest.

Chem nods, “Pro tip for all of you. If an enemy is retreating, you do not stop it, especially if in a war. One man retreating will spread fear into the others, and thus make a full route more likely. Retreating is nothing but good for us.” He faces the stallions, “Dodge blows, leave the enemy open, strike. It lunges at me, I put the barest minimal effort into dodging so I would be in a good position. It tried to swipe me, and I moved so close that it couldn’t, and used that proximity to put my own skills to use.”

The stallions all look at the timberwolf leg still in his hooves.

Chem throws it down in front of all of them, “And if you can, disarm your enemy.” He then takes a step back, “Now, I want to see you all fight! Whoever can dodge the best, hit the hardest, and hit the most will get whiskey tonight. Go!”

Setting

Chem awakes, rising from a bed roll in the early light of the morning. The thirty stallion trainees are already up, and helping themselves to a fine breakfast.

Chem stands, and looks to see Derpy stirring a pot of stew. He smiles, “Didn’t know you were back.”

Derpy smiles back, “We only got back late at night.”

Chem moves over to her, “One week isn’t much time to recruit.”

Derpy shrugs, “We had some connections. Trust me, you’ll have plenty. They’ll be here later today, in fact. How many are here?”

Chem motions at the others, “You’re looking at them. Thirty stallions, mainly from Ponyville, few from elsewhere. Our elite forces.”

Derpy looks at all thirty of them chatting among themselves, “Elite? How good are you talking here?”

Chem smirks proudly, “I’ve been training them for a week. Ponies are quick learners, did you know that?”

Time Turner comes out a nearby room as he hears Chem say that, “Of course we know that, who doesn’t know that? I mean, we are ponies after all.”

Chem shrugs, “Eh, maybe you two are. Me, I’m not really feeling the whole pony thing yet. Yeah, sure, I may look like a unicorn, but I just don’t feel that’s right.”

Turner and Derpy both glance at each other. Turner takes a deep sniff of the air, and only ends up looking more confused, “Uh, what do you mean, Chem? Are you telling us you aren’t a pony?”

Chem looks at the two of them, and thinks for a bit, “I... yeah, I am. You two have been so kind to me, I feel like I can trust you with that knowledge. For the majority of my life, I was not a pony. For the majority of my life, I didn’t even exist.”

Turner takes a step closer, “Truly?”

Chem nods, “For most of my life, I was called Austin Patton. I was a bipedal creature named a human, and I was an absolute cunt. Then some magic shit happened, I kicked that cunt out of my body, and I became a pony. Only arrived in this world about five months ago.”

Turner absorbs the information, “An entirely different world... it would explain some things. You’re odd name, the Catholics, Sirely, Jehllawhey, that song we sung. They were all references to your world, weren’t they?”

Chem nods, “Yes, they were. Jehllawhey is the names of three different gods mashed together. Sirely was the name of a store near where I lived as a child. And I was part of the Catholic Church when younger. You two don’t think any different of me, right?”

Derpy smiles, “We only think better of you, if anything. You trusted us enough to tell us your true identity.”

Chem smiles, “Thanks, Derpy, you too, Turner. I knew I could trust you two.” He reaches a hoof up near his neck, and slightly touches the red bow tie there, “Although I might change my identity soon... I wanted you two to know my past. I know you two might just be clock shop owners, but I want to let you know that you are valuable to me. Honestly, for the five months I’ve been alive, I’m glad I spent some of that time with you two.”

Turner looks at Chem for a second. Then, he gathers him in an embrace, “And we’re glad we met you, Chem. After all of this is over, we should do something fun.”

Chem nods, “Yeah. Going to the club, camping, maybe fishing... hell, I don’t know, I’ve only been alive five months.”

Derpy looks at the two, and her mind is thrown into conflict. She pulls Turner aside, and whispers to him.

As she does that, Chem grabs a bowl, and begins devouring some stew. He finishes quickly, and goes for another bowl.

Only as he downs that second bowl do Turner and Derpy walk back to him. Turner looks at Chem, and sighs, “I’m afraid we also have something to tell you, Chem.”

He throws down the bowl, and nods, “Go on.”

Turner opens his mouth, only to be interrupted by someone else, “Sir Chem!”

Chem turns around, and nods, “What is it, Mimic?”

Mimic points to the stallions waiting near the fully restored gates, “The men are ready to train.”

Chem looks back at Turner, and shrugs, “Sorry, I can listen later. This is important. You understand, right?”

Turner nods, “Of course, the soldiers are important.”

Chem nods, “Cool.” He looks back at Mimic, “Alright, let’s go.”

The group march out the gates as they are raised. Chem nods towards Fancy Pants as they pass him. Fancy Pants smiles, “We found a giant bell mechanism yesterday, we’re planning on setting it up. I mean, this bell’s hammer is huge. It’d probably almost touch the floor if put in this room.”

Chem smiles, “Go ahead and set it up. Time Turner should help you, he’s good with mechanisms.”

Fancy nods, “I’ll go talk to him, then.”

Chem marches outside, seeing all thirty stallions standing prepared in the field.

He moves up to them, and adopts his fighting stance, “Okay, men, let’s get to it!”

They all adopt a more natural fighting stance, and look to their leader.

Chem punches forward, and odd music seems to come from nowhere. Chem begins to sing.

“Let’s get down to business,
To defeat Celestia!
Did they send me cowards,
When I asked for men?”

The stallions all punch forward, with perfect form. All in rhythm as well.

“You’re-“

Chem is interrupted, and the music suddenly stops as a young voice shouts out, “Chem! Chem!”

He looks towards the forest in front of the castle, and sees Spike come rushing across the field. He rushes over to him, and looks down at him when they reach each other, “Spike, what’s wrong?”

Spike pants, “Celestia- army- right behind me.”

Chem looks up, and can quickly see what he says is true. A pony in golden armor emerges from the forest, and draws a sword. Then another, then another.

They pour out the forest like a flood, and Chem’s eyes widen, “Oh shit!”

He looks back, only to see his stallions rushing back into the castle. He picks up Spike, and rushes to the gates.

He stops at the threshold, putting Spike down. He looks in, and sees his stallions looking towards the forest like scared fillies.

Chem glares at them, “What the fuck is wrong with all of you!? You flee as soon as we see the enemy?! Where is your spirit, where is your bravery?!”

Not a single stallion recovers from his words. They look just as frightened.

Chem turns around, seeing Celestia’s army approaching. Some part of him, deep down, shouts out in fright. Yet he stands strong, “You are cowards, the lot of you. If you will not fight, then close the gate behind me.”

Spike shakes his head, “You can’t face them, Chem, they’ll kill you!”

Chem stares at the horde of soldiers, “Yeah, they probably will. Close the gate, Spike. Leave the dying to me, and me alone.”

Spike looks at Chem, but he doesn’t budge an inch. Spike hesitantly pulls the lever to close the gate.

Chem winces as the gate closes behind him, that same part of him screaming even louder.

Yet it is pushed down, by both Superego and Id.

Chem marches closer to the army, halfway across the field. Then, he stands in his fighting stance.

The army marches closer.

He glares at them, “Come on, you fuckers! I shall not fall! I shall stand!” He looks down at his neck, barely seeing the red bow tie. He nods, “I shall be Brave!”

Bravery

Chem prepares himself, but a single pony marches out from the rest. She wears very ornate, ceremonial armor. The army parts to the side, and she marches forward.

She eventually faces Chem face to face. Chem doesn’t leave his bipedal stance, and glares down the pony in front of him.

The mare smiles, “Greetings. I am General Midnight Blaze, leader of the Equestrian Royal Guard. We have come to crush your revolution... but we offer a compromise.” She motions back to the castle, “You have shown bravery by daring such actions against Princess Celestia, and you have shown your willingness to talk. If you open that gate, and turn over everyone following you, then we offer you a chance to be an advisor to Princess Celestia. You shall be forgiven of all crimes against her, and you shall get a prime spot next next to her. Do you accept these conditions?”

Chem growls, “I am no coward, I shall not turn them over to you!” He lashes out with his hoof, striking Midnight Blaze in the forehead. She instantly falls like a sack of potatoes, and Chem shouts to the army, “Come on then, face me!”

———

Time Turner watches the interaction from inside, and shakes his head, “We can’t leave him out there alone!” He looks behind him, and sees a glint of bronze. He rushes back, and rallies the stallions, “Come on, get up! Get off your damned asses and do something!” He points to the back room, “Get that damned hammer over here! You five, help me!”

The stallions all look at each other dejected.

Turner growls at them, “Look outside, you fuckers. He is standing against a fucking army and isn’t so much as flinching. Yet here you are, giving up hope because of possibilities! You are all a disgrace to the pony race, moping about over nothing. Chem needs us, or he will die!”

———

Chem smiles as the army enters into a full charge towards him. He shakes his head, “I am so disappointed. They aren’t even keeping a coherent formation.”

The first guard reaches him, stabbing forth with a spear.

Chem dodges to the side, and pulls on the spear. He grabs the spear into his own hooves, and takes advantage of the now unbalanced guard. He sweeps the sharp tip right by one of her armored boots, detaching the tip, and knocking that leg down.

Chem sweeps forward with a jab, right to the guard’s throat. The guard quickly begins to cough, only to be knocked out by a blow to the side of the head.

Another guard tries to bash Chem with a club. Chem barely dodges, and tries to hit the guard with the staff.

Another guard blocks it with their sword, causing the staff to bounce harmlessly away. This prompts the club guard to swing once again. Chem blocks the blow with the staff, but the thing breaks in half from the blow.

Chem throws down the broken staff, and sweeps the legs out from the club guard with a kick. As he does this, his lower position means he barely dodges a slash by a sword.

He rushes forward, close to the sword guard. He grapples onto her leg, trying to force the sword out of her hoof.

Yet it is to no avail, as a third guard comes and pushes him to the ground. He rolls back to his hooves, and sees another sword being swung at him.

He flips over it, flying into the air. Yet, he finds his flight short as a pegasus guard kicks him back down to the ground.

He crashes down, and tries to roll back up. Yet, he finds himself rolling into the hooves of a guard.

He is pushed back, and feels a great pain right near his back.

Then another, then another.

It doesn’t take Chem long to realize exactly what is happening.

He screams in pain as another guard stomps on him. Then another, then another.

———

Time Turner glares out of a peephole, and he looks over at one of the stallions. He nods.

———

Chem can only hear his heartbeat... and his pained screams. It seems like the torrent of stomping is endless.

But something breaks through. He hears a loud crash, and the stomping stops.

“Charge!”

The guards around him draw their weapons once again, and move away from him. Yet then, he hears more thudding, and a sword flies over near him.

Hooves pick him up, and he can hear Time Turner, “Chem, are you all right?!”

He looks up, and smiles at Turner, “Wow... you guys actually did it.” Chem rolls out of his hooves, and rises on his own.

Turner rushes over to him as he struggles to stand, “Are you all right?”

Chem laughs, “Nope. I can feel blood filling my lungs, and I know that isn’t good.” He looks forward, and sees his army of thirty stallions charging at Celestia’s army. He stumbles forward, and yells, “Charge!”

His stumbling eventually turns into walking, and eventually into a jog. Something seems to be empowering him, and healing him.

He eventually begins a full on charge, and yells at the enemy.

The guards slowly start to back up as he charges forward. Until one of them screams, and runs back into the forest.

He gets closer, and the various guards all begin to join their comrade in fleeing. They seem to shrink as he gets closer, as well.

And he can see an odd red light shine on all of them.

The whole army begins to retreat, and Chem jumps into the air.

He yells with all his might, and finds himself higher than should be possible from a jump.

The Chaotic Mana all around him listens, picking up on his spirit.

He crashes back to the ground, and sends out a shockwave.

One guard is hit by the red shockwave, and a bolt of lightning strikes him. Then that bolt arcs to another guard, then another, then another.

The lighting bolt travels to every guard running away, and fries them just enough so they’ll survive.

Chem stands in the middle of the field, and sees the final guard fall.

Turner rushes up to him, mouth agape, “Chem... you’re an alicorn!”

Chem tilts his head, “Like Celestia?” He looks to his back, and sees a pair of wings there, “Well shit, I am!” But as he looks back, he notices a slight red glow. He traces it to it’s source, and sees the bow tie on his neck glowing red. He looks to Turner, “Mind explaining to me what magic fuckery is happening here?”

Turner takes a step forward, and examines him, “Well, it seems you preformed a feat great enough that you ascended. It must have something to do with your bow tie, but we can figure that out later.”

Someone interrupts them, as Mimic shouts, “Sir Chem, look!”

He looks where Mimic points, and sees a horde of pegasi flying towards them.

One lands in front of him, and it turns out to be a thestral, “Chem Patton, we are at your service.”

Tuner smiles, “These are the ones we got!”

Chem shakes his head, “Dear god, how many are there?”

The thestral responds, “Ten thousand, Chem Patton. What would you have us do?”

He looks around, and sees the guards twitching. He shakes his head, “Half of you are to heal these guards and make sure they do not die. The rest are to follow me.”

The thestral nods, and the pegasi all begin. But, before he can so much as blink, Mimic speaks from his side, “Sir Chem, we await your command.”

He turns around, and sees all thirty of his stallions standing there. As he looks, five thousand pegasi file behind them, and look towards Chem. The thirty all hold a loose position, and all the pegasi immediately snap to attention.

He smiles, “Stallions, mares, unicorns, pegasi, earth. Celestia has shown her true colors today. She will not give us any mercy, she will not give us any quarter, she is not afraid to wipe us off the face of Equestria! But we pushed her back, we showed mercy, we gave quarter, we did not stoop to her level, and we won! But one battle is not the entire war, no! Celestia still sits behind walls and gates, she still pushes down stallions, she still refuses to see reason! We do not stop here, and we shall not stop until we reach Canterlot! She will see reason, or she will be replaced! So onward, towards Canterlot!”

The thirty stallions all cheer, and the pegasi all give a coordinated salute. Chem points into the Everfree Forest, and marches in.

The army all follow.

They follow their Brave leader.

Finale

Battle rages through the streets of Canterlot, every guard surrounded by at least five fighters. The thousand guards of Canterlot hold their ground, yet their efforts are naught in face of the valiant fighters.

Chem flies over the battlefield, weaving through different fights happening between the pegasi fighters and guards. The shine of his coat in the sunlight encourages his fighters to continue with greater strength.

A single pegasus in decorated armor flies in front of a stained glass window, and points her spear forward, “You shall not get past me, for I am-“

Chem flies into her, sending a small blast of magic to push her spear aside. He shoves her through the stained glass, and into the marble floor of Canterlot’s throne room. He then drags her along with the momentum, and throws her out another stained glass window.

He turns around, and cringes upon sight of the now scratched marble flooring, “Yikes, that’s gotta suck for the janitor.” He looks up to see Celestia dressed in highly decorated battle armor, “Hey, if I lose, which I won’t, make sure to give the janitor a raise. This is going to be hell on their back to get out.”

Celestia glares at him, and a sword is summoned at her side, “You... I knew when I felt that energy it could only be you. You just can’t be happy, can you? You just have to tear my nation apart? Then I shall tear you apart the same!”

Her blade flys towards me, creating a whistling sound much like a bullet. It travels near the same speed as well.

Chem takes a step back, only to find a wall of magic appearing in front of him. Celestia’s sword hits the wall, yet can’t pierce through. She tries to pull it back, yet the magic reaches out and grabs it before it can escape. She yells, “No, impossible!”

Chem takes a step through the wall of magic, and walks up to Celestia as she struggles to pull out her blade. He smiles, “What, didn’t know about that? Yeah, apparently I’m something called a Plures Orator. Although it was a lot harder to do that before. Oh well, suppose Mana just listens faster now.” He shakes his head as Celestia tries to summon back her blade again, “Drop the damned blade and fight like a stallion, Celestia. Come on, no magic, no fancy tricks, just a good old fashioned brawl.”

Celestia growls with rage, and drops her blade. Just as suddenly, she lashes out with a punch to Chem’s head.

He sidesteps the blow, and shakes his head, “Come on, Celestia, I saw that coming the second you let down your blade. Try a bit more surprise.”

Celestia twists around, and throws a kick towards Chem.

He ducks underneath the blow, and takes a step to the side. He stands back up, “Celestia, really, when’s the last time you’ve fought?”

Celestia twirls around, sweeping out her leg to trip Chem.

He flaps once into the air, and slowly floats back down as Celestia recovers, “Seriously? That’s fighting 101 there. Don’t get hit by the leg sweep.”

She lashes out with three consecutive jabs as he lands. Somehow, he moves fast enough to dodge all of them. Celestia lashes out with a kick to end the combo, only to find her leg hitting the ground uselessly underneath Chem.

He takes a step back, “Come on, this is embarrassing. Fight me, Celestia, stop playing with me!”

Celestia takes a step back as well, and growls, “Fight!? Then take this!”

Her horn lights up, and she puts all her mana into a blast.

But then a hoof taps her horn, cutting off her magic in surprise. Chem looks at her, “No magic, Celestia. Or else I will use mine as well.”

Celestia shoves him back, only to have him move out of the way before she can lay a hoof on him. She looks up at him, anger overtaking her body, “What are you doing?! Why won’t you just kill me!?”

She fires off blasts of magic, one after another.

Chem dodges past all of them, barely managing to not get scorched. Yet, in her rage, Celestia didn’t put much thought into positioning. So there need not be any expenditure of mana.

Celestia manages to free her sword, and sends it flying towards Chem. He slides, and it goes flying past him and through a wall.

He uses a flap of his wings to extend the slide, finding himself underneath Celestia. He then twists up, and throws her over.

He rolls back to his hooves, and rushes over to where Celestia lands back down. He looks down at her, “Give up, Celestia, you’ve lost.”

Celestia looks at him, slight tears of rage filling the corners of her eyes, “Why haven’t you killed me? You have the opportunity right now to slay me and win!”

Chem shakes his head, “I will not kill you, Celestia. I will never kill unless absolutely necessary. I can see a hint of goodness inside of you, and I offer you the chance to surrender. All I ask is that I gain the same level of power as you, and that stallions are made equal. I don’t need to kill you, I’d much rather you live.”

Celestia growls, “That doesn’t make sense! I could betray you!”

Chem smiles, “Maybe, maybe not. That’s not for me to decide. But I won’t kill you just because you might possibly betray me.” A slight red glow begins from his bow tie, “It’s not Brave to be a coward, but it is to save a life.”

Celestia takes notice of the glow immediately, and her eyes light up upon sight of it, “Wait... no, impossible.”

An ethereal laugh comes from behind both of them. A laugh that carries no emotion, “Ah, you finally took notice. The gift of Harmony.”

Chem turns around, only to see figure standing there. He wears purple robes... ones that blow in a nonexistent wind.

Chem takes a step back, “You!”

Edis smiles, and nods, “Hello, Chem Patton. I am Edis, God of Endings. I have come on a matter of business. You see, I need some help. And, considering I helped you into this world, I expect you to help. Is this acceptable?”

Chem looks at him, “What did you mean by the gift of Harmony?”

Edis shrugs, “Just as I said. You, Chem Patton, are the Element of Bravery. You now carry, in that little bow tie, a sixth of Harmony’s power. It is safe to say you might be the most powerful, conscious, creature on this planet.”

Celestia sits up, “Element of Bravery?”

Edis nods, “Now, Chem, do you accept or not?”

He nods, “Sure, sure, whatever.” He shakes his head as Edis disappears. He turns back to Celestia, “You know-“

But he is stopped as he sees Celestia kneeling before him, “I surrender, and meet your conditions.”

Chem tilts an eyebrow, “Really?”

She nods, “Yes. Element of Bravery, Prince Chem Patton. Welcome to Equestria.”

Turner

Chem walks around the Palace, unsure hooves leading him to a new destination. He looks into a random room, only to see that it is the dining hall. He quickly leans back out, and closes the door.

A castle servant walks up to him, “Prince Chem, are you looking for something?”

Chem scratches his hair a bit, “Well, Celestia told me to find something. Didn’t specify what, just said I would know when I saw it.”

The mare smiles, “Ah, yes, I think I know what she was talking about. Follow me, I know the way.”

Chem trots after the mare as she sets off down a hall. They trot for a while, and Chem begins to realize the hall get dusty.

He looks to the side, and sees the walls coated in a thin layer of dust. Holders for banners and tapestries sit all around, their gold shine cut by the dust. Chem sneezes as dust gets near his muzzle, “What is this place?”

The mare keeps her head away from all the dust, “The Old section of the Palace, built even before Nightmare Moon.”

Chem admires the dust, “And you don’t clean this?”

The mare shakes her head, “Princess Celestia asked for us to not mess with anything, and to forget about it’s existence. But, I didn’t listen, let my new hire confidence lead me in exploration.”

Chem smiles, “Doesn’t seem like you’re forgetting very well. Wouldn’t Celestia be mad if she caught you here?”

She shrugs, “Don’t really care, I am showing you around. I’m sure you’d pardon me of all crimes for being so nice.”

Chem nods, “You know, I very well might if I need to. You seem brave, type of pony I like.”

She smiles, and they stop in front of a door. She pushes it open, and nods, “This, is what I imagine you were looking for, Prince Chem.”

He steps through the door, and sees more light shining. It seems to be a little platform, a balcony, one where a giant throne sits. It is easily twice the size of Celestia’s throne.

The balcony looks over the throne room. Right below the huge throne are Celesita and Luna’s own thrones. But, theirs are very bright and colorful in design. This throne, however, is simply made out of marble. The only variation on it’s color is a single black circle on either side of it, right where the head would rest.

Chem takes a step closer, and touches the throne. No dust seems to have settled on it. No, it seems perfectly clean and smooth to the touch. The throne also is noticeably colder than the room.

He moves to the front of it, and carefully eases himself into it. The throne seems to turn colder as he sits in it, but slowly turns warmer and warmer.

Eventually, the throne returns to room temperature, almost as if accepting Chem. Yet Chem still can’t seem to find comfort within the throne.

As he shifts around, two ponies fly up to the balcony. Derpy and Turner land in front of Chem, and both tuck their wings back into place. Turner smiles, “So, Prince Chem?”

He nods, “Seems to be that way.” But then he looks closer at Turner, “Wait, Turner, when’d you get wings?”

Derpy speaks up for him, “Actually, Chem, we have something we would like to say. We tried to back at Slane, but couldn’t get it out in time.”

Turner follows up, “What you said about not always being a pony, well, it shows a trust in us. So, we’re going to return that trust. You see, Chem, we... aren’t exactly ponies either.”

Chem smiles, “Really? Wow, I never expected that. Well, come on, what are you?”

Turner slowly is consumed in blue flame, one that shifts his form back to normal. And, likewise, Derpy is consumed by a brown flame.

Tempus and Traicere stand before Chem, nerves slightly overtaking them as Chem observes them.

He raises an eyebrow, “That’s it? Just, bug versions of ponies? I thought it was going to be something far worse with how nervous you two were.”

Tempus takes a step back, “You... you’re okay with our natural forms?”

He nods, “Well, yeah! You’re still the same person.”

Tempus nervously scratches behind his head, “Well, actually, we have different names. I am Tempus, Chem. Derpy is Traicere, in reality.”

Chem smiles, “Oh, fancy names, eh? Would you mind if I still called you Turner and Derpy?”

Tempus smiles back, “Go on ahead. In all honesty, I like that name more. I think it is more... suiting to who I want to be.”

Traicere smiles as well, “Of course you can, Chem. Just as long as we don’t have to refer to you as Prince.”

Chem nods, “Oh yeah, I absolutely despise that title.” He then glances between them, and takes notice of their wings, “So, you talked about doing something fun. Want to fly around Canterlot?”

Turner shifts back to his pony form, but now with wings on his side. He nods, “Gladly, Chem.”

———

A decree is heard through the lands. One that mares and stallions shall be equal, right from the mouth of Celestia herself.

The chaos and strife from the gender divide fades, into a new order for the world.

Deep underneath Canterlot, something comes to life.

A magical coffin within a dark chamber, all the way at the end of the Crystal Caverns. It begins to shake, and loses the faint glow coming from it.

Four hooves kick up at once, sending the lid flying off. And instantly, the room is filled with a white glow.

A pony rises from the coffin.

His wings and horn sit, waiting, and the white glow from his eyes lights up the entire room. The shape of the room is obvious to him as soon as he sees it.

A circle.

He uses his pent up power, and blasts a hole through the wall. He breathes easier, magic now being dispelled.

The circle is broken. And he begins his ascent to Canterlot.

———

Far away, something similar happens. A zap of magic hits the sleeping form of a pony, and he gasps back to life.

He quickly begins coughing, finding it difficult to breath in the damp underground. Yet, with a simple exchange of words, Mana quickly purifies the air for him.

His long, black beard scrapes across the ground as he stands. As he moves his head up, the single black bell at the end of his hat jingles, filling the room with a new sound.

He reaches over, and picks up his cape. It looks like a star bursting, right before supernova, dark red surrounded by dark purple. It shares the color with the hat, yet serves to cover up something different. Instead of short, black hair, this cloak covers his leather colored skin.

He looks around the room, seeing every object set up for the ritual. He sits back down, now donned in his cloak and hat, and begins to communicate with Mana.

He tells the Mana all about his target.

The one named Chem.