Gimme Mah Hat!

by Endeav0ur

Rating: everyone
Tags: Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Random
Length: 2382

Rainbow dash steals Apple Jack's hat. Apple Jack isn't too happy about that

When Rainbow Dash steals Apple Jack's hat, they begin an impromptu game of chase. Who will win? Will Apple Jack ever see her beloved hat again? Find out now in the latest epic installment of...

Nothing, this is a one shot.

Published 2018-04-02 03:20:07 UTC
Last updated 2018-04-02 03:20:07 UTC

Catch me If you Can

“Rainbow! Ya’ get back here with mah hat, ya hear?!” Applejack yelled as she stormed after the cyan Pegasus. The ground thundered underneath her orange hooves and sweat poured down her blonde mane as she pushed to catch the other mare.

Said mare merely chuckled, “sure! If you can catch me first!” she shouted back through a muzzle full of her assailant’s cowpony hat. Her own rainbow-hued mane and tail flapped in the wind, leaving a bright rainbow streak through the sky.

Her words only spurred Applejack on as the orange earthpony mare doubled her efforts, causing the flying rainbow to do a double take when she saw her assailant gaining speed fast.

Both ponies were mere blurs as they ran past trees and buildings at super pony speeds. An orange streak pursued a flying rainbow as they tore through the small town of Ponyville.

The chase was on. Both ponies zipped by market stall after market stall. Houses were violated as Rainbow Dash searched for places to hide and catch her breath, while their roofs were trampled when Applejack made to catch the cyan Pegasus on land.

If both ponies had started on equal footing, they would have been neck and neck in a race to the finish line. As it was, they were locked in an epic struggle to gain ground on their opponent.

Thinking quickly, the expert farming pony herded her multi-hued opponent in the direction of the whitetail woods; where she hoped to force her to the ground; to her domain.

“Hey! No fair, I can’t fly in this!” Shouted Rainbow Dash, grazing branches and bushes.

“’All’s fair in love and war’ Dash, now stop runnin’ and give me mah hat back!” Growled Applejack, who was gaining distance on the Pegasus now that they were playing on her strengths.

Trees and shrubbery rushed passed the two ponies, locked as they were in their race. Rainbow Dash knew this stretch of the woods, more specifically, the clearing that lay only a couple hundred yards away. The rainbow mare took a sharp left turn, avoiding the farmers grasp by inches.

“Darnit Rainbow! Stop runnin’ already!” shouted Applejack, who easily recovered from the miss-direction.

Rainbow Dash chanced a glance behind her, only to see Applejack hot on her heels. She had no other choice but to put every last bit of energy she had into her hooves in a mad dash to the clearing.

Flowers wilted beneath the two ponies’ thundering hooves, their fragile stems no match for the hard keratin that trampled them. Bushes shook and trembled, trees swayed and creaked, but the ponies couldn’t hear their cries over the pounding organs in their chests struggling to supply their burning muscles with precious oxygen. The two pony’s lungs burned with a hungry fire as they pushed on, each with their own goals in mind.

Rainbow Dash could see the clearing now, only a little while longer. She could almost feel the wind through her feathers, the moisture of clouds on her face, the nipping at her heels.

Rainbow Dash paled, the nipping wasn’t a daydream, Applejack was almost upon her. Rainbow Dash put on one last burst of energy, and she was suddenly lifted into the skies, soaring free from the pull of gravity. Her legs ached and burned but that didn’t matter anymore, the burden was shifted to her well-trained wings; which took the challenge like a Sunday stroll.

The Earth Pony growled in defeat, “Darnit Rainbow Dash! You get back here!” Applejack turned to follow the Rainbow Pegasus back to Ponyville. The Earth Pony’s effort was beginning to show, her coat glistened with sweat, yet she had energy to spare, supplied by her innate Earth Pony magic.

On the edge of the woods stood a small, butter-yellow pegasus hidden behind a large, pink mane. “Girls,” she exclaimed in a rather peeved, yet quiet, tone, “the running of the leaves isn’t for another four months,” but her words fell on deaf ears, as the other two ponies were far too caught up in their competition to notice her.

Rainbow Dash laughed to herself, proud for having beaten the cow-pony; but her victory was short lived. Rainbow Dash was tackled to the ground by something very strong, and very sweaty.

“Ah’ got you now Rainbow! Now drop mah hat!” yelled Applejack who stood over her pinned opponent.

“Never!” Shouted Rainbow Dash; although she could hardly be understood, as she spoke through gritted teeth and a dusty old hat.

“Ya just don’t know when to give up do ya, huh?” said Applejack as she snatched her hat, attempting to pry it from the blue pony’s mouth.

“I never learned how!” Rainbow quipped, struggling to hold onto the hat and escape Applejack’s grasp.

A sudden explosion drew the attention of both mares. It was at this moment that both ponies realized where they had landed. They were in the middle of Ponyville, right in front of Sugar Cube Corner.

Pink smoke billowed out of the windows of the bakery, and the air took on a distinct sweet smell. At the same time, the front door slammed open and two mares tumbled out. One was a bubble-gum pink earth pony with a poofy mane and tail in a slightly darker shade of pink. The other pony was a purple alicorn with a deep purple mane that had two lines of magenta running through it.

Both ponies were too busy to notice the large crowd that had massed around the other two ponies wrestling on the ground. All of whom were staring at the smoking, coughing mess that was sugar cube corner.

“I guess making magic flavored cupcakes isn’t as easy as I thought” coughed the pink mare.

“You think?” said the purple mare, with the same wheezing, coughing voice, but with a hint of sarcasm mixed in.

“I don’t think! I know silly, we just blew up sugar cube corner with magic cupcakes! The proof is in the pudding! Or is it the pudding is in the proof?” rambled the pink mare.

The purple mare simply sighed and dropped her head to the ground, her ears splayed on top of her head.

It was at this point that Rainbow Dash gained a sense of control over her actions again, and noticing her captors lack of attention, prepared to make her escape. Her muscles tensed and pulled, and slowly, her wings extended to either side of her. In one fell swoop, Rainbow Dash pushed off the ground and with a mighty flap of her wings, propelled herself back into the sky, simultaneously drawing the attention of her assailant once again.

“Darnit Rainbow! I had ya fair and square!” called Applejack, beginning to pick up speed now that her prisoner and her hat had escaped.

“All’s fair in love and war AJ! You taught me that!” Rainbow Dash called back, smugness dripping with every word.

“Rainbow!” Applejack shouted once more.

Their chase had resumed, with both ponies dodging and weaving through the streets of Ponyville. Rainbow Dash looked back to see how far she had gotten from Applejack, only to find that Applejack wasn’t behind her anymore; in fact, she couldn’t find the orange mare anywhere.

Rainbow Dash tensed, knowing full well that Applejack wouldn’t simply give up on her favorite hat. Her head was on a swivel, turning this way and that, waiting in suspense for whatever move the farm pony would make.

Out of nowhere an apple flew past Rainbow Dash, grazing her ear and causing it to flick in annoyance. Two more followed the first, the second one landed a direct hit on Rainbow Dash's foreleg.

“Hey! Cut it out!” Shouted the rainbow mare. However, despite her protests the apples kept flying, forcing Rainbow Dash to dodge them all the while.

Rainbow Dash, not one to take it lying down, took action. She began condensing clouds together to build a shield to defend herself from the onslaught of shiny red fruits; however, the next apple that hit her merely flew straight through the shield, straight into Rainbow Dash's gut, causing the hat to fall from her grasp.

Applejack saw her opportunity and ran to meet her hat. Only half way to her destination, Rainbow Dash recovered from the hit and saw the hat floating to the ground. In desperation, Rainbow Dash turned to dive straight down towards the floating hat.

Both ponies made a mad dash towards the prize, the solitary hat floating in the wind. Applejack called on every last bit of strength she had, sprinting faster than any pony thought possible towards her goal. The same could be said about Rainbow Dash, the wind ripped and tore at her wings as she cut through it.

The ground was decimated beneath Applejack’s hooves just as the air was deformed by Rainbow Dash’s wings. Applejack pumped Earth pony magic through her hooves in an effort to stay ahead of the Pegasus mare, who had both her own Pegasus magic and gravity on her side.

By now the crowd from before had grown and every eye was locked onto one of the two ponies. They cheered for their victors in the hope of giving them one last boon to succeed, before they were all silenced when both ponies clashed.
A large flash of rainbow light shone out as the two ponies collided, a boom echoed out soon afterward, knocking the onlookers off of their hooves.

As the ponies recovered, gasps rang out through the crowd at what they saw. Before them, a mighty smoldering crater lay in the dirt. The only remnant of the two ponies was a tattered, brown cow-pony hat.

<>><<>

In a still existence, where nothing moved, and nothing was disturbed except on rare occasion, something happened. Two small ponies rocketed down from high above at near supersonic speeds. Their impact caused the ethereal blue ground below them to ripple and shift violently.

Both ponies looked no worse for wear except they both sported rainbow hued arcs of magic throughout their now electrified coats.

The ground shifted and tumbled, attempting to find its former state of rest. To the ponies, it looked and felt as though they were standing on top of an endless expanse of blue clouds.

As the two ponies sat, fluffy and confused, another figure descended upon the calm dimension, although this time with far more grace. The small ponies’ backs were towards the figure, which made their surprise all the greater when the figure cleared its throat.

“Ahem, welcome, my little ponies,” said the figure, “our sister neglected to mention that she was guiding more ponies to this plane; but since you have succeeded in ascending to this realm, I see it only fitting that I complete your journey.”

“Princess Luna?” exclaimed both small ponies, confused.

“Yes, tis I, the princess of the night. Now, my sister insists on making this a grand affair, usually involving a song, but I have a few more hours of sleep to return to, and our sister failed to warn us about this, so we will just get on with it.” said the newly identified lunar princess, sounding all too vague.

“You have both shown exceptional skill in your respective fields of magic, or something, that’s what it says here,” she said, gesturing to an ethereal clipboard, which definitely wasn’t there a second ago, “and as such Equestria and harmony have seen fit to bestow upon thee a great gift.”

The two ponies were then lifted into the air, each being enveloped in their own respective bands of light, “congratulations, yadda yadda, good afternoon, I’ll see you for your coronation,” the alicorn finished, dawning a sleeping mask and leaving the two ponies far more confused than they started.

Nevertheless, as Princess Luna faded into the distance, the process continued; and as suddenly as they had appeared in the ethereal plane, they were gone.

<>><<>

The town of Ponyville was in a blind panic. Two of Equestria’s greatest heroes, as well as two of the town's greatest friends, had been obliterated in a massive fireball, or so the rumors had escalated to that theory.

Ponies rushed to and fro, collecting ponies for search parties or preparing to tell friends and families who had not yet heard the bad news. Some ponies mourned, others were cleaning up the bits of the town that were damaged by the intense competition.

Out of nowhere, two balls of light descended from the evening sky. Gasps rang out as ponies began to notice the two bright new bulbs in the sky. they slowed slightly just above the sun, only to continue their descent soon after.

Upon reaching the ground, the occupants of the spheres of light were revealed to be both the missing ponies, Applejack and Rainbow Dash.

"Applejack! Rainbow Dash! You're alright!" exclaimed the purple Alicorn from before, who was surrounded by the pink and butter-yellow ponies; along with an additional white unicorn with a royal purple mane and tail that were both styled to perfection. "What happened to you guys? Where did you go?" she asked, but the words died on her lips as she noticed something off about the two ponies before her.

Out of nowhere, a pink pony swung from a rope that was tied just out of the crowd’s peripheral view, screaming, “Alicorn party!” after which she blew loudly from a kazoo.

The two ponies who quickly became the center of attention simply stood with expressions of confusions on their faces, their mouths agape and wings splayed regally. Their confusion quickly turned to determination when, just beyond the crowd, they both spotted a dusty old hat lying on top of scorched earth. A quick glance at each other was all they needed before they both quickly bolted through the crowd, making a mad dash towards their prize.

Author's Note

Thanks for reading through!

I'm a bit of a novice writer trying to work his way up so I've been writing short stories like this to familiarize myself with writing. (most of my other work is non-mlp related). I hope you all enjoyed my story!

Please consider leaving a comment!

Edited as of 2/5/2019 to remove/edit some of the parts I deemed, uh... removable/editable.