Spike's Song

"I want to be a teacher!" Spike proudly states.

The Mane Six burst out laughing. They stroll through a meadow with Spike in the spring. The Sun's shining, the birds are singing, the air's warm (but not hot), and the flowers are dancing and perfuming the world on a salty ocean breeze.

"Why a teacher?" Twilight asks, wiping tears from her eyes.

"Well, you once told me that dragons are prone to aggression. But I'm not very aggressive, so I must be more pony than dragon," Spike explains in a roundabout way. "And dragons aren't very good at teaching other beasts. So I figured..."

"Don't use that logic bomb on a robot," Rainbow Dash laughs.

"W-what would you t-teach?" Applejack asks while trying to stifle to laughter.

"Hmm..." Spike says, trying to think of a subject he's passionate about. "Well, not to digress, but I think every beast can teach something. You, Pinkie, can teach ponies how to throw a party."

"Oooh, let's throw a party after this!" Pinkie Pie responds.

"Fluttershy, you can teach kindness to animals," Spike continues.

"Oh, um, t-thank you," Fluttershy says, now feeling bad about laughing at him.

"Rarity, you can teach fashion design," Twilight interrupts.

"And you could teach everypony how to use the library," Rarity responds.

"I can teach how to make apple cider," Applejack boasts.

"I can teach...uh..." Rainbow Dash begins, but her train of thought derails.

"...Where every mare's g-spot is!" Spike finishes for her, then laughs with the other Mane Six.

"Hey, I'm not that big of a slut!" Dash protests, her face beet red.

"So what would you teach, Spike?" Twilight asks, ignoring Dash.

Spike gets in front of the Mane Six, and, extending his arms out to the sides, he begins to sing.

"I'd like to teach every mare to sit
On my face for hours--"

"That's not how the song goes!" Twilight complains, knowing 'I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing' by heart. "And eww what?!"

"Look, it's my song and you asked!" Spike argues.

"I knew you were into butts!" Applejack exclaims.

"Is this why you always waddle behind us?" Rarity asks.

"Let him sing, l-let him sing!" Dash, Shy and Pinkie say, stifling their laughs.

Spike starts over. A crepuscular ray shines down upon him. It was as if Celestia herself approved of his song.

"I'd like to teach every mare to shit--uh sit--"

"You want ponies to poop on your face?" Applejack laughs.

"Let me sing!" Spike yells.

"Calm down," Twilight reassures him. "She's just teasing you."

"Popcorn?" Pinkie says, offering the other ponies bags of popped corn while eating from one herself.

Without questioning where Pinkie found the food, the Mane Six snack on popcorn. Spike takes a deep breath to calm himself down. He tries to sing his song again. The ponies grin in anticipation.

"I'd like to teach every mare to sit
On my face for hours,
Rub their big butts on my visage
Their ponuts I'd devour.

I'd like to see every mare for once
All booty shaking over me,
And have their cheeks fall on my head
And get lost in the sweaty sea.

I'd like to teach every mare to sit
On my face for hours.

I'd like to teach every mare to sit
On my face for hours.
Lalalaaa

I'd like to live in your butt crack
And bathe in its heat,
While I inhale its intoxicating musk
And munch on its soft meat.

I'd like to teach every mare to sit
On my face for hours,
Rub their big butts on my visage
Their ponuts I'd devour

I'd like to see every mare for once
All booty shaking over me,
And have their cheeks fall on my head
And get lost in the sweaty sea.

I'd like to teach every mare to sit
On my face for hours.

I'd like to teach every mare to sit
On my face for hours.

I'd like to teach every mare to sit
On my face for hours.
Yeah!"

The Mane Six die of laughter while choking on their popcorn. Spike, angry but also aroused at their reaction, suddenly goes behind Twilight and shoves his face up to the ears in her ass, then pulls her down with him onto the ground. Laughing still, Twilight tries to get up again, but Spike digs his claws into her haunches. He inhales Twilight's scent loudly, taking long deep whiffs of it. Now it's Twilight's turn to become angry.

"Spike, stop it!" she yells, bucking away.

The other ponies calm down and try to pry Spike's face out of Twilight's butt, but to no avail. Dash summons a rainstorm to drown Spike out, but it doesn't work. Pinkie tempts him with cakes and pies, but he ignores her. Applejack and Rarity pull hard on his claws, but they won't budge. Shy offers her own butt in place of Twilight's, but Spike keeps sniffing and sniffing and sniffing. Twilight, exhausted, stops trying to stand up. Spike rubs his face in Twilight's sweaty butt crack.

"What do we do?!" Twilight pants to the other ponies.

"Just let him express himself," Rarity suggests. "I guess."

"Spike's your number one ass-istant now," Pinkie giggles.

* * *

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I learned that I have a fetish for butts. I enjoy my butt receiving attention and I enjoy giving butts attention. Specifically, I enjoy sitting on Spike's face and I want you to sit on my face too. I love the way his breath feels as it rushes up my rectum; I love how his nose feels pushing and nuzzling into my ponut; I love rubbing my ass furiously up and down Spike's face - and I know you'll love doing the same to me! I've always wanted to make love to your ass; I just never knew it until now. Ogling your ass while I followed you around the castle since I was a filly, seeing you sitting on your throne and bending over, and watching your tail wag on hot days got me wetter than a babbling brook! I never knew it was love, but now I can't stop thinking and dreaming about your ass. I need it! I want to live inside it! Sit on my face, please!

Love,
Twilight Sparkle

* * *

My Faithful Student,

What.

Sincerely,
Princess Celestia