I'm Sorry, I Thought This Was Equestria!
Daring Do flew down from the night sky, the pale blue moonlight upon her backside as strong wings folded back neatly. Her dark violet eyes gazing to the mouth of “The Lost Cave Of King Lavan.” a place thought only to be legend, smirking confidently she tilted her hat down and cantered to the blocked opening.
It seemed to be closed by a tile puzzle of some sort, the mare leaning in softly to investigate as her mind raced with possibilities of the answer. A faint voice from a wise stallion echoing in the back of her mind, she scrunched her muzzle tightly as to hear the voice more clear through the fog of her memories.
“Circle, circle and last triangle.” She spoke aloud as she found the clue with ease, sliding the tiles into place on the doorway she gave a small huff in accomplishment.
“Ha! Far too easy of a puzzle for I Daring Do!” The mare gave a loud giggle aloud, galloping at top speed into the darkness of the cave where untold treasures awaited.
Within the first dark chamber alone was at least a ten story drop off, a large hole in the center of the room that lead to a lower floor. If she missed her jump even by a little, it would mean a plunge into the abyss below.
“I must find the crown of King Lavan!” Daring shook off the doubt from her hooves and swiftly made a mighty leap, her slender body flowing through the air swiftly before quickly plunging down below into the darkness.
She had missed the jump spectacularly as she could feel herself plunge deep into the third floor, her mane flowing back wildly as her hat flew off into the nothingness. With a loud thud she smacked belly first into the floor, a loud crunch could be heard as she lifted up gasping for air.
Rolling onto her backside she couldn’t catch her breath, her muzzle busted open and dripping crimson blood onto the floor wildly. Small hooves holding to her sides in pain, the world around her spinning as she began to gag aloud.
A large clot of blood forming in the back of her throat, she winced in pain and began to choke before slowly forcing a glob of bloody vomit to spray out across the ground in front of her.
The air slowly returning to her lungs, the mare rolled over back onto her belly. Shivering in place out of pure fear of the pain, taking a small moment to lick her gums before slowly spitting out a few chipped teeth.
“I’m ok...still alive.” She weakly rose to her hooves, limping along the pitch black room in search of some light.
Stumbling back and forth in pain, she could hear a loud ringing inside her head that was driving her crazy. Rolling her eyes she failed to notice a large red brick on the floor, her hoof pressing down upon it as the floor opened up like monstrous jaws.
The mare screamed in horror, the floor swallowing her whole as if she were an insignificant insect. Down the silent trap she rolled at top speeds, back being bruised from the many rocks she smashed into. Her wings being torn to shreds with ease as she flung into a wall of spikes, the stone trap impaling both wings as blood poured from her backside.
She wiggled on the wall in horror, the bones within her wings stinging hellishly as they jutted out from the skin below. The dirty air caressing them caused her to puke out a stream of blood, her eyes now a bright red as her whole frame was on fire.
Barely pulling herself off the wall, she fell onto the ground below with a sickly plop. Small body in agony as she slowly dragged her frame across the floor, a long trail of blood being left behind for other ponies to find in the future.
“Must...find...aid!” She groaned in pain like no other, lifting a hoof into the air pleading for mercy to the gods above.
A loud swift slice could be heard, a whole stack of hatchets being exploded from the wall like an erupting volcano. Daring winced in pain as she lowered a bloody stump into her view, warm crimson blood gushing out over her muzzle wickedly as her broken hues watched her hoof be pinned to the nearby wall in awe.
“Ahhhhh! Ahhhhh! Ahhhh!” She began to cough out a stream of dark black blood, her small body starting to convulse in place as a pool of blood formed around her.
Her cries for help awakening a large sleeping plant attached to the ceiling, a treacherous snake like plant slithering down to the suffering mare who began to sob aloud. The front of the flower blooming, as a row of sharp razor like fangs sprouted from within the plant.
“Mercy…” She whimpered only to have a flood of green goo spray upon her broken body.
She screamed in horror from the pain, this goo was burning her body like acid as she writhed in agony on the floor. Her belly quickly bloated to maximum width and exploded open with a puff of steam, her entrails pouring out onto the floor in a bloody mess.
She began to gargle as her face melted completely off to the floor, trying to lift her head up the skin pulled back as the meat and flesh fell off the bone cleanly. A gasp of air escaping the bony jaw softly, her death rattle soon wafting into the air.
Lost to all of time.
The sickly crunching of bones echoing for miles, the plant enjoying its new meal.
GAME OVER.
“Awww! She’s a dead “hic” again!” Berry Punch quickly chugged down a half empty bottle of wine at her side, standing on hind hooves playing a arcade game into the night.
“Let me play Darelunky! You’re just killing her!” Button Mash gave a loud whine, his eyes full of sadness at seeing his favorite heroine dead on screen.
“I still have fifty-nine more bits!! Sooo don’t tell me I can’t be Daring DOO DOO and save the day!” Berry gave a loud belch aloud within the small night time arcade, many children around giving the mare odd looks.
“Well at least try!” Button began to sob aloud, covering his face in horror as the mare started a new game.
“You no boss of me!” Berry gave a loud hic aloud, her tongue hanging out of the side of her muzzle excitedly as she began to button mash the machine.
“Ma’am we think you had enough.” Two large stallions in lunar guard armor began to walk over to the mare, the children inside the building beginning to get scared.
“I'm sorry, I thought this was Equestria! I didn’t know Princess Poonta had a rule against fun!” Berry gave a loud hiss to the stallions, chugging down the last of her wine before smashing it open into a weapon.
Both stallions gave a quick pounce onto the mare, tackling her down to the floor as she screamed aloud in profanities to the children around. Button mash on the floor was shivering wildly, tears flowing down his cheeks like wild streams.
“I wanna go home!” He sobbed curling into a small ball on the floor.
The sound of a mare being charged with disturbing the peace, filling the air around the small arcade.
And it was only a friday.
