You Could've at Least Put Me in the Group Photo!
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Trixie Just Wanted to Be in the Opening Theme!
You Could've at Least Put Me in the Group Photo!
"Twilight Sparkle!!!"
The Great and Powerful Trixie stormed through the doors leading to Twilight's throne room. She marched forward with fury and rage, her hooves stomping on the crystal floor so hard they cracked the smooth, glossy surface. She then grit her teeth and growled as her eyes fell upon the very pony she was seeking.
Twilight Sparkle sat on her throne, her face blocked by a newspaper she was holding up with her magic. Though Trixie couldn't see her properly, she could tell Twilight was drinking coffee by the smell in the room, the light steam rising up from behind the newspaper, and the small slurps Twilight was making.
"Hi, Trixie," said Twilight in a flat voice. She didn't even look up from her newspaper upon addressing the great and powerful magician, making Trixie even more upset. Before she could demand more respect from the princess, however, she noticed another pony standing next to Twilight.
"Hey, Starlight!" cheered Trixie as if she hadn't just angrily burst into the room a few seconds ago. Starlight Glimmer, Trixie's bestest friend in all of Equestria, looked at her, blushed, then quickly turned away.
"Oh... Hey, Trixie..." mumbled Starlight, her face partially obstructed by her mane.
What's up with her? wondered Trixie. Oh well, I'll ask her later.
"Ahem! The Grrrreat and Powerful Trrrrrixie demands an explanation!" yelled the blue unicorn while unnecessarily rolling her "R"s.
"An explanation for what?" asked Twilight, who was calmly folding her newspaper and placing it on the table.
"This!" Trixie's horn glowed, causing a magical, rectangular screen to appear in midair. Then, the theme that everypony had heard hundreds of times over the past several years started playing. This time, however, the video that went along with it was slightly different.
"My Little Pony~! My Little Pony~! Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh, ah-" Trixie paused the video.
"What is the meaning of this?" shouted Trixie. She zoomed the video into a section in the bottom-right. There, a blurry blue pony with a light-blue mane donning a purple cape was standing on her hind legs while sparks flew around her. Twilight stared at the pixelated image with an unimpressed expression.
"What about it? Isn't that you?" asked Twilight.
"Exactly! Why in the name of Celestia is the Great and Powerful Trixie only in the new opening for less than a second!?"
"Look, if this is about your argument that you should be a 'mane' character, I've already told you thousands of times that-"
"No, no, no," interrupted Trixie. "As annoying as it is for me to admit, I can understand that I'm not a 'mane' character. However! You can barely see me in this! Why am I not more prominent!?"
"Well," sighed Twilight, "there are dozens of secondary characters in the show. It's difficult to fit all of them in a thirty-second clip, so most ponies and creatures aren't featured much."
"But I've been on the show since the very first season!" argued Trixie. "And I've come back for several episodes! Sure, I tried to take over Ponyville in season 3, but then I reformed and made friends! In fact, my very first and very best friend is standing right next to you!"
Starlight, who had been poking at the ground for the past minute or so, looked up, blushed again, then looked back down.
"Gilda's been in the show since season 1, too, and you don't see her barging in here asking for a part in the intro," replied Twilight. She gently lifted her cup of coffee with her magic to take a sip.
"I saved Equestria from the Changelings, remember!?" retorted Trixie. "Along with Starlight, Thorax, and Discord, and we all did it without magic! And yet, those three got more prominent parts! At the very least, you can actually tell it's them when they show up. I've been in more episodes than Thorax, you know!"
"Thorax is the leader of a foreign country. Having him in there strengthens our relationship with the Changelings, and also makes the show more relatable for them."
"Oh, so this is about politics and viewership!?" yelled Trixie, angrily pounding her hoof on the Cutie Map. "Is that why Amber is in there, too, along with all those other creatures?"
"It's Ember," corrected Twilight, "and if you watched the season opener, you would know that the lesson was that friendship is for everyone, not just everypony."
"But what about the group photo at the end!?" cried Trixie, whose eyes were starting to water. "I-I always wanted to be in the picture, even if I wasn't in the center!" Trixie fast-forwarded through the intro, then paused at the new photo that was being taken. "I mean, who are those ponies in the back row!?"
"Err... you'll find out later in the season, I guess?" said Twilight, who was starting to get a little nervous.
"C'mon, you let Snips and Snails be in the group picture starting season 4!"
"At least they're not there anymore...?" offered Twilight, visibly getting even more anxious.
"But you want to know what the worst thing is? You just edited that shot of me into the intro! I wasn't invited for the filming sessions!" Trixie finally burst into tears, burying her head under her front legs. Her tears started to form puddles on the table and the floor. She finally looked up with swollen, red eyes. "Is the Great and Powerful Trixie really that unlikeable?"
Twilight sighed, then walked over to Trixie. "No, of course not. You've changed since I first met you, and I can tell you are very good friends with Starlight. The thing is..."
Trixie cocked her head to one side. "What?"
"The thing is," Starlight spoke, breaking her silence, "we did invite you."
"You did!?" exclaimed Trixie. Starlight nodded.
"Yeah, and you actually showed up to the filming session," continued Twilight.
"Th-Then, where am I in the intro?" stuttered Trixie, confused. "And why don't I remember any of this?"
"Do you remember what you did just before that?" asked Twilight.
"... No, not really..." thought Trixie, feeling a little worried and concerned about the gaps in her memory
"Let me cast a spell on you," offered Twilight. "It'll help you jog your memory a bit."
"O-Okay then."
Twilight's horn glowed, then suddenly, Trixie felt as if she was being transported to a different location. She was now at the Canterlot Carousel, her favorite bar, and she was taking a shot of vodka while other ponies cheered her on. The scene was unfamiliar to Trixie at first, but as it continued to play out, she started remembering everything more clearly.
"HA!" yelled Trixie as she finished her shot and slammed the glass on the counter. "I told ya da Preat and Gowerful Twwwixie could do it! Thirty shots! Noooooo problem!" Everypony whooped and cheered again, as Trixie proudly stood on top of the bar counter. Somewhere behind her, fireworks shot off.
"Hey, Trixie," called Sunburst from somewhere amongst the crowd, doing his best not to get squished by everypony. "Don't you have to get to the filming session soon?"
"Ahhh don' worry about it! I've got dis!" Trixie tapped her horn a few times with her front hoof. "I can jus' teleport right on over!"
"B-But wait! You're in no condition to go!" warned Sunburst as he finally broke through the crowd and looked up at Trixie. "Are you sure you shouldn't just tell them you're not available?"
"Are ya kidding!?" yelled Trixie. She suddenly wobbled and fell off the countertop. Sunburst winced as she landed face-first on the floor.
"I'm not gonna miss my chance to finally be in da... da..." Trixie mumbled as she slowly got up.
"The intro," said Sunburst, slowly helping her up to her hooves.
"Yes! Da intro!" cheered Trixie. She then prepared her teleportation spell. "Okay, here I go!"
"Wait-!"
Trixie teleported to Twilight's School of Friendship, which was a rather amazing feat considering Trixie was drunker than Berry Punch on the first day of cider season. Though her vision was warped and blurry, she could still see various ponies setting up cameras, boom mics, and lights all around the school in preparation for the filming. Standing in the center and overlooking the preparations was a certain purple alicorn.
"Twiiiiliiiiigghhtt!" called Trixie, waving and smiling goofily.
"Hey, Trixi- what the!?" exclaimed Twilight as she caught sight of the wobbly unicorn. "Are... are you... drunk!?"
"Nahhhh jus' a few shots! Nuthin' to worry about!" assured Trixie rather unconvincingly.
"Trixie. We cannot film you like this," deadpanned Twilight.
"Whaaaaaa? How dare you!" huffed Trixie. "I am da star of da show now, and I won't miss this!"
"Just because we're letting you be in the group picture doesn't mean-"
"Heck! I can help with everythin' else, too!" yelled Trixie. She then used her magic to start moving around the equipment, though due to her lack of proper cognitive control, everything started to fly around in random directions. As cameras crashed into the ground and lights zoomed through the air, everypony screamed and ran for their lives.
"Trixie! Stop!" shouted Twilight, who was also doing her best to avoid the flying equipment. "Put everything down right-" Before Twilight could finish her sentence, a mic stand smacked her in the face, and with a rather abrupt "Oomph!" Twilight fell to the ground, unconscious.
"Woo!" cheered Trixie. "Da Preat and Gowerful Twixie is best ponyyyyy!"
At that moment, Starlight Glimmer walked out from the main entrance of the school, levitating a pile of books.
"Twilight! I've got the-" Starlight gasped as she saw the chaos before her. "Trixie! What are you doing!?"
"Lightstar! Hiya!" waved Trixie. "You're lookin' mighty fine today!"
"... Excuse me?"
"Hehe have I ever told you how amazingly cute you are?" laughed Trixie, still wobbling and smiling goofily.
"I-I... umm..." stuttered Starlight, unable to find the right answer to Trixie's question. Sure, she knew Trixie was drunk, but she didn't expect Trixie, of all ponies, to say something like that to her. As she continued to fumble over her words, she could feel blood rushing up to her cheeks.
"Nahhh actually, why don' I show you!" Suddenly, Trixie teleported and appeared right in front of Starlight. Before Starlight could do anything in response, Trixie quickly leaned in, her eyes closed and her lips puckered.
"Mmmmmmmwah~!"
Trixie found herself back in Twilight's throne room. She stared blankly ahead, not knowing how to react to what she just saw. Twilight stared at her with a slightly concerned expression, while Starlight was blushing again.
"So... I..." started Trixie.
"Yyyyeeaaaahhh..." said Twilight. Trixie slowly walked up to Starlight, who did her best to maintain eye contact with her friend.
"Starlight, I am so, so sorry!" apologized Trixie, removing her hat and holding it against her front. "I shouldn't have come onto the set drunk like that, and I definitely shouldn't have... um... you know..."
"Kissed me?" asked Starlight.
Trixie blushed and her eyes widened, then she covered her face with her hat. She peeked out from behind the brim, only to see Starlight giggle a little.
"It was unexpected, but at least nothing happened after that," reassured Starlight.
"B-But I k-kissed you without your permission!" stuttered Trixie. Sighing, she sat down on her rump. "The Great and Powerful Trixie is now the Greatly Ashamed Trixie..."
"Don't worry, I forgive you," comforted Starlight, hugging her friend warmly. "Though, I did want to talk about a few things with you..."
"What do you mean?" inquired Trixie as the two let go of each other.
"Well, I know you were really, really drunk that day, but I'm kinda wondering how much of what you said was true..." admitted Starlight, rubbing her front leg with her other front hoof.
Trixie's cheeks turned bright red again, prompting her to turn to Twilight for some assistance. However, Twilight simply stood there, grinning mischievously .
"I'll leave you two alone," giggled Twilight. "It seems you two have a lot to discuss."
"I-I..." Trixie looked back at Starlight, whose cheeks were a light shade of pink - that is, pinker than her usual coat color.
"Oh, before I go," said Twilight, summoning a piece of parchment out of thin air, "you caused lots of damage to the film equipment, as well my school grounds, so here's a list of all the damage costs."
Trixie grabbed the parchment with her magic and skimmed over the numbers.
"WHAT!? I can't pay for all of this!!" cried Trixie.
"We could take it out of your contract this season," suggested Twilight, "but I'll let you decide. Also..." Twilight spawned another item, this one a folded purple cloth adorned with stars of various colors and sizes.
"My cape!" cheered Trixie. "I was wondering where it went! ... Where did it go?"
"You see, after you, erm, kissed me," explained Starlight, "you passed out and then you threw up all over your cape."
"NO, NOT MY CAPE!" exclaimed Trixie, her front hooves gripping her head. She quickly and worriedly unfolded the cape to check its condition.
"Spike did his best to wash it, but unfortunately, there are still a few stains here and there..." said Twilight nervously. Sure enough, some spots on the beautiful, purple cloak were smudged with colors that Trixie did not even know existed. Trixie stared at her ruined cape, her expression suggesting a mix between horror, shock, and anger.
"D-Don't worry, Trixie," stammered Starlight. "I'm sure we can buy you a new one. Well, after we figure out how to pay for the damages..."
Trixie looked at Starlight, the damage costs, her cape, then back at Starlight again. Between paying for broken equipment, attempting to replace her signature, one-of-a-kind cape, and talking about feelings, Trixie didn't know which was worse. However, one thing was certain:
"THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE JUST WANTED TO BE IN THE OPENING THEME!"
