A Misplaced Renamon

by Sanguine Dream

Rating: teen
Tags: Profanity, Random, Violence, Slice of Life, Crossover, Alternate Universe, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Rarity, Digimon, Pinkie Pie, Octavia
Length: 4442

A fox comes to Ponyville only to end up running for his life.

Dustin simply wanted to get away from Manehatten, and the life he'd been all but forced to live there. He'd had enough of fashion for a lifetime.

Ponyville must be different right? It's more accepting, or so the papers say. The additional info of strange protectors also catches his eye.

Maybe things will finally calm down. Maybe he can start to have a normal life.

Nothing is normal in Ponyville.

This was Co-written with Thadius0.
I never expected to be approached by the same guy that wrote Headless, not Heartless. Yet a set of messages later, and this colab came together over Google Docs. This was an absolute blast to write, and I hope you all enjoy reading it.

Tags: Profanity for Profanity, Violence for DODGE!

Published 2018-04-02 22:40:07 UTC
Last updated 2018-04-02 22:40:07 UTC

Mine!

The Friendship Express from Manehatten pulled into the Ponyville, hissing and screeching as it pulled to a complete stop. The usual tourist ponies, either on their way to Canterlot or here to see the Bearers, got off the train in...rather more of a hurry than usual.

A minute later, it was easy to see why. A bipedal, golden-furred fox with purple gloves and similar colored markings on his legs and beneath his cyan eyes, got off the train from one compartment and stretched. “Pony seats were not built for bipeds in mind,” he muttered, adjusting the pack on his back. “Now...according to that nice mare, I should be looking for…”

“HI!” A high-pitched cry exploded inches from the fox’s ear. The fox yelped, jumped back, stumbled back into the train, fell on his back, and groaned. Both from the pain in his back, and the pain in his ear.

“Medic,” he muttered, pushing himself to a sitting position.

“Oops… Sorry…” A violently bright pink pony with a bubblegum pink mane giggled a couple feet from the fox. “My bad.”

“P….. Pinkie… Wait…. Huuuh… Dammit out of shape…..” A bright red lizard came thudding up to the pink pony. He heaved heavy breaths and slumped, his claws on his knees. “How… How do you do that?”

“Oh hey Guilly, you didn’t have to follow me.” The pink pony giggled and booped the lizard’s nose.

“Right… like I’m supposed to ignore you sprinting out of Sugarcube Corner.” The lizard rolled his eyes. Then he stiffened the moment his eyes fell on the golden fox.

“Damn, my ear is still ringing,” the Renamon muttered as he stood back up and exited the train again, his eyes falling on the pink pony. “You are... excessively cheerful. Not that that’s a bad thing, mind. I used to be the same for my friends when they’d had a bad day.”

“Awwww, is somefoxy having a bad day?” The pony’s mane actually seemed to wilt a little. The lizard however hadn’t moved an inch. His golden eyes locked onto the fox in seeming shock.

“More like a bad month, but hopefully it’s about to get better,” the Renamon replied, cracking his neck. “Was told that there was someone here like me, and…” And now the fox looked over and blinked in surprise. “Kinda...exactly like that, yeah.”

“Yeppers!” The pony grinned and looked over at the lizard. Her grin faltered somewhat on seeing his state. She swiftly nudged him in the ribs with a hoof.

“Gah!” The lizard yelped. “Renamon!”

“Renamon?” The pink one pointed a hoof at the fox.

“Yep.” The lizard nodded.

“Kay.” The pony sighed, trotted over to the fox, and held out a hoof. “Hi there. I’m Pinkie Pie, Ponyville’s resident Party Pony.” She jerked her head in the lizard’s direction. “The coherent one over there is my Guilfriend Guilmon. He has this reaction to seeing others like himself. Namely Digimon, not Displaced.”

“Dustin,” the fox introduced himself, shaking her hoof briefly. “I can give you the song and dance about how I wound up here later. I think who or whatever did this got the wrong guy.”

“Huh.” Pinkie blinked and looked over at Guilmon.

Said red lizard was still staring.

Pinkie facehoofed and trotted over to the lizard. “Hon, you’re doing the thing. Stop doing the thing.”

Guilmon blinked and slowly looked at Pinkie. “But Renamon….”

“Hun, that’s a person in there. You did the same thing with Geralt… well… almost. Not the point. Point is, stop fangasming and start treating him like a person or no bread for a week.” Pinkie finished by narrowing her eyes at him.

“Got it…” Guilmon gulped weakly, and walked over to the fox. He held out a claw. “H-hey sorry…. I’m kind a fan of your… uhh… body?”

“Smooth hun.” Pinkie said flatly.

“That is the worst pick-up line I’ve heard,” Dustin replied in just as flat a tone, though he did still shake the proffered claw.

“Th-that wasn’t….” Guilmon stammered, then faceclawed with a groan. “Why do I have the feeling that you’re another one….” He dropped his claw. “So awkward introductions aside, what brings you to Ponyville. Besides the knowledge that there are more of us?” He raised an inquisitive brow.

“Because I got tired of living in Manehatten, even if I was raking in the bits as a ‘fashion model.’ More like that mare just wanted to get inspired off of how ‘elegant’ my body was,” Dustin snorted. “The city life wasn’t for me. Neither was being talked down to. So when I saw a news article about some ‘strange protector’ in Ponyville, I knew I had to get out. Plus you have a reputation of being one of the more welcoming towns in this country.”

“Gotcha.” Guilmon nodded. “Well that strange protector might be me, but more probable is that that’s Geralt.” He tapped his chin with a claw. “I never expected model as a previous job though.”

“Seriously?” Pinkie said flatly as she trotted back up to the two of them.

“Mine! Mine! Mine!” A faint voice caught their attention.

“Du fuck?” Guilmon asked and looked around.

“Mine! Mine! Mine!” The voice grew louder.

“That sounds like Rarity…” Pinkie blinked. Then her eyes widened and her head snapped towards Dustin. “Oh… Oh shit….”

“Mine! Mine! Mine!” The voice grew ever nearer.

“Mares and Digimon, I bid you adieu,” the fox bowed to them, before he picked a direction the voice wasn’t coming from and—

He was already running pretty fast. He must have been quite the athlete in his last life. He was halfway to the market already.

“Hey there, ya new in town?” A Southern-accented voice grabbed Dustin’s attention. He turned and saw an orange-coated pony with a...cowboy hat? Sure, whatever.

“I need somewhere to hide,” he said, pausing a moment. “Before this ‘Rarity’ pony gets a hold of me.” He was constantly astounded he wasn’t out of breath, but he’d take the good with the bad.

“Huh… Ya know Ah think Ah remember Rarity mentioning somethin’ about a fox in a magazine…” The mare tapped her chin. “But if’n she’s after ya, then I recommend headin’ towards the Everfree. Mare can’t stand that place. Also ya might find a friend or two.” The mare chuckled. “It’s thata’ way.” The mare pointed to her left. “Ya can’t miss it. Literally.”

“Thank you,” the fox said, heading directly for the creepy, looming forest and hoping to whatever god was still listening that this ‘Rarity’ wouldn’t catch him before he made it to the safety of its branches. He’d never been much of an endurance runner, but he’d need to do more than just sprint to get there.

Suddenly his sprint was ended by something grabbing onto his tail. “Whoa there! You don’t want to go in there unprepared.” A gruff, growl of a voice chuckled from behind him. “Place isn’t exactly the safest to hang out in.”

Dustin waited a moment, before the call of ‘Mine! Mine! Mine!’ came through the crowd again. “Do you hear that?” he asked. “That is the sound of a pony obsessed with my brief stint in fashion work, coming to get me. I will take whatever dangers this forest has to offer over being roped into that fucking mess again.”

“Huh. Thought you looked familiar. Okay. let’s get you somewhere safer, meeting some friends for lunch.” The voice chuckled and Dustin felt an arm loop around his waist. “You may want to close your eyes.” He felt a hand grab the back of his head. “Just so you don’t get whiplash.”

“...Why do I suddenly get the feeling I’ve chosen the devil I don’t know over the one I do?” Dustin whimpered as he closed his eyes like a good fox.

“Oh, you’ll be fine.” The voice chuckled.

Suddenly Dustin was jerked back from what he assumed were G-forces, as his ears were filled with nothing but the screaming wind. However he vaguely made out a hearty laugh echoing through the wind.

In what felt like moments, the shrieking of the wind stopped and Dustin was jerked forward. Yet the arm and hand still held him.

The fox waited for the world to settle back to something resembling normal before he even dared to ask a question. “Am I safe?” he asked meekly.

“You should be for a few hours. That is, if you're lucky and Rarity gives up” The voice chuckled as Dustin felt himself be placed back on the ground. The fox carefully opened his eyes with a sigh of relief. Somewhere where he wouldn’t have to worry about fashion-obsessed ponies.

“You good?” The voice asked.

“Oh hey, Geralt’s back!” A familiar peppy voice spoke up from nearby. Then there was a gasp. “And he brought Dustin!”

“I can see that Pinkie.” Guilmon’s voice spoke up not much further from Pinkie’s

“U-ummmm who’s that?” A quiet feminine voice spoke up from the same direction.

“I think that’s the Renamon that Rarity was losing her mind over.” A British-accented voice spoke up. “What did you do Geralt? Save him?… her?… him, yes him. Save him from Rarity?”

“Yep.” The gruff voice laughed. Tired of not being able to put faces to names, the fox turned to see who was talking to, or about, him.

The first thing he noticed was the dark treeline nearby. The second was the large oak that a few people sat nearby. A blue picnic table full of various foods sat under the oak. Guilmon and Pinkie sat on one side. On the other was a grey earth pony mare, with a black mane and a bowtie, as well as what looked like a bipedal green plant with a flower coming out of the top of its head.

Turning further Dustin blinked as his eyes met a blue furred chest. His gaze slowly rose until he met the golden eyes of a massive werewolf. A clothed werewolf, but a werewolf nonetheless.

The wolf nodded. “Sup?”

“...I’m going to go out on a limb here, and guess that you’re Geralt,” Dustin spoke up after shaking himself out of his stupor. “Thanks for the save.”

“One, yes.” Geralt nodded with a smile. “Two, you’re welcome. Had to save you from Rarity treating you like an object for……..” He tapped his chin. “I honestly don’t know how long.”

“Well I mean, it’s been a month of being objectified already for me,” Dustin said before sighing and finding an open spot at the table, sitting down and shrugging. “I wish I could say ‘It’s no big deal’ or ‘I’m used to it,’ but frankly, it fucking sucks.”

“Oh you poor thing.” The plant and the grey mare said simultaneously. The grey mare placed a comforting hoof on his shoulder.

“Ya know… I can actually understand where you’re coming from.” Geralt nodded with a small frown. He took a couple steps. Then, from standing still, leapt straight up into a low tree branch. After a bit of adjustment he was leaning back against the trunk with his legs crossed and his arms behind his head. “Seriously, I can’t count the amount of times mares, and some stallions watch me as I walk by. It’s unnerving. Doesn’t help that I look like I stepped right out of JoJo.” Geralt shook his head with a sigh.

“The only ‘walking’ I was allowed to do was from the room I was being ‘taken care of’ to one mare’s studio,” Dustin deadpanned. “Fortunately I kept myself fit with my exercise routine and managed to get her to pay me a decent wage as ‘her wonderful model.’ So once I got my hands on a paper, and saw that this place was welcoming, I knew I had to sneak out and get away. A gilded cage is still a cage, and I’m not one for letting anyone tell me how to live my life.”

“Hell yeah man.” Geralt nodded. However a frown creased his lips. “Payment is good. For a sec there I thought I caught the scent of slavery. I’d have to beat a bitch if that were the case. Just so you know if, whoever this mare is, comes looking for you I’ll be sure to clock her one for you.” For a moment his brow furrowed as if in thought. “That is… unless you want to learn how to properly protect yourself.”

“I wouldn’t know the first thing about that, not in this body,” Dustin replied, shaking his head. “The most I ever learned about self-defense was a karate class back when I was...six? Seven? Something like that.”

“Well then.” Geralt popped his neck, and pushed himself to his paws. Causing the treelimb to creak. He kicked off the limb, somersaulted once in the air, and landed on grass with a thud. He straightened and turned back towards Dustin and the others.

"Okay..." He cocked his head to the side and intertwined his fingers with his index fingers meeting in front of his lips. "Do you want Easy Mode or Hard Mode?"

"There are Modes?" Renamon blinked.

"Easy mode, you get him." Geralt pointed at Guilmon.

"Dammit man, I'm eating. Let me at least finish lunch first!" Guilmon snapped from his spot at the picnic table.

"Noted. You got fifteen minutes." Geralt called over his shoulder the returned his attention to Dustin. "Hard Mode you get me."

"Not sure... Hard Mode? Guilmon actually might be too easy." The Renamon said with a wince.

"Hey!" Came the cry from the picnic table.

"Hard Mode it is." Geralt smiled.

Suddenly Geralt was inches away from Dustin. "Training begins now! Dodge!"

“Ohholycrap!” Dustin yelped, barely pushing himself out of the way in time. “When did you become TFS Piccolo?!”

“Ah ha! Somebody gets it!” Geralt grinned as he bounced from paw to paw, his hands balled into fists.

“I got that reference.” Came the quiet voice of the plant.

“Hey so did I!” Guilmon complained.

Dustin panted as he stood what he thought was a good distance away from Geralt. “Seriously I’m probably the worst one to train—” he started to get out.

“DODGE!” Geralt roared and kicked off the ground with a visible shockwave. He cocked back his fist mid-air as he fell towards the halfway to panicking fox.

“Will you fuckin’ listen?!” Dustin squeaked as he barely managed to jump back enough to avoid being punched. Though he still felt the wind from the punch. “I don’t know—”

“Somebody’s actually got some reflexes! Hallelujah!” Geralt laughed as returned to his fighting stance. "Rainbow would be ashamed!"

“Here comes a New Challenger!” Came the quietest warcry. Purple vines suddenly lashed around Geralt’s right arm.

“What the- Ivy what are you- Oof!” Geralt got cut off as a flying Guilmon landed on Geralt’s back and wrapped his arms around the wolf’s head.

“Dustin! Cheap shot! Quick, while he’s distracted!” Guilmon said through his laughter.

“I DON’T KNOW ANY MOVES!” Dustin shouted back. Silence fell after that.

Oh...maybe he shouldn’t have said it so loud. Then again, he was frustrated that Geralt wasn’t listening.

Guilmon blinked at him as Geralt continued to half-heartedly struggle. A grin could be see between Guilmon’s arms. “Who said anything about moves?”

“It took us a bit to figure them out.” Came the quiet voice. “Punch him in the cock.”

“Ivy! Language!” The posh-accented mare snapped.

“I’m nineteen. You’re not my mom.” Ivy giggled in return.

“Okay, A, no, I’m a guy, I wouldn’t do that to another guy,” Dustin said as he slowly walked forward. “And B...I’ll explain later,” he sighed. “Let’s just say I’m in the wrong body for my fandom.”

Still, he cocked a paw back, forming a fist, before punching Geralt as hard as he could in where he assumed the solar plexus would be on a big werewolf looking thing.

The strike hit with a ‘biff.’ Geralt, with his lack of reaction, apparently felt nothing. “Could’ve done a lot worse, I actually felt that one.” Came Geralt’s muffled chuckle.

Guilmon slid off the wolf as the vines detached themselves from Geralt’s arm. “You can work on it. He does have a Dojo he can train you in. Though Rainbow might get jealous.”

Ivy walked up, dwarfed by the tall wolf. The meek bipedal plant cocked her head to the side. “Ummmm… Dustin?” She asked quietly. “Do you want to see us your Pokemans?”

“I don’t know if he’ll get that reference.” Guilmon gently patted the small plantmon’s head.

By way of reply, Dustin walked over to the table, shrugged his bag off, brought it around to his front, dug around...and brought out a 3DS. “Oh I dunno,” he said dryly. “Which ones were you interested in seeing?”

“Oh shit. Pokemon fan.” Guilmon raised his brows as he walked over to the table.

Ivy on the other hand ran over. “What do you have? I had trouble doing high level pvp when I played Sun, then again I was always in it for the story.”

Chuckling, Geralt leapt back up to his spot on the tree. “We can get you started on some basic level stuff later. I’ve had my fun for the day.”

“Oh good, more training,” Dustin sighed. “Well I suppose new body, new ways to abuse it.” He turned the system on and showed off to Ivy. “Gen six, gen seven, and I bought the original gen one and two as well when they were released as digital downloads, in case I felt like torturing myself with the old ways of doing things. I’m a filthy ‘both sides of the coin’ player, because I like getting all the exclusives.”

With a chuckle, Guilmon patted Dustin’s shoulder with a claw and returned to his seat next to Pinkie. Said pink mare gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

Ivy clambered up onto the table’s bench so she could see easier. “Ooooo! Are you one of those round-robin trainers where you make sure you entire team is the same level? I did that when I played, but back in Pokemon Yellow I only power leveled a Clefairy into a Clefable. Got her to level ninety-two and rocked Mewtwo with her. Clef was a bit swole. I gave her Mega Punch, Mega Kick, Metronome..... And….. I can’t remember the last move. It’s been a few years.” Ivy babbled excitedly.

“This is the most out-of-her-shell I’ve seen her lately. Good for you.” The grey mare nodded at Dustin with a smile.

“Well, I tend to make a team based around my starter, so that I have type coverage, and in the latest generations, the XP share is a key item,” Dustin pointed out. “Just turn it on and it’ll keep your team level for you. As of late though, I’ve been trying to get something fun in the Ultra games. Shiny legendary pokemon from previous generations. The only one I haven’t gotten yet is...Thundurus. I’d only just found the bastard before this...whole thing happened.”

“Ooooooh. Gotcha.” Ivy nodded and looked up at Dustin. “Hey, why do I get the feeling that you’re here on accident?”

“Because,” Dustin sighed. “I’m...a generous butt, as my friends called me. I spent money on them first, and they hated the idea of trying to ‘get even’ with me. I told them there was no such thing as a debt between friends, even as I bought them cute games online and sent them to them to brighten up their day. So when I got an unexpected windfall of cash, my first thought was ‘I’ll go and visit them.’” He waved a paw. “I visited a friend in Australia, who was into all things anime—”

“Where is he!?” A downright manic female voice screamed from somewhere close by.

“Ah hell.” Geralt groaned.

“Things were going so well too. It’s not even a Tuesday.” Pinkie whined. "It's a friday for fuck's sake!"

Ivy’s face screwed up into a frown. “No! This is not okay!” She jumped off the bench and stomped off towards the voice.

“That… That was not like her at all.” The grey mare blinked in surprise. She looked towards Dustin, then back towards the retreating Ivy. A smile split her face. “Friend-Shipping.” She said with a quiet giggle.

“I just got here,” Dustin pointed out. “Maybe calm down on shipping me with anyone just yet.”

“Calm down, I’m only teasing.” The mare smiled and waved away his comment with a hoof. “Don’t you worry now. I’m not like some ponies around here." The grey mare's brow furrowed and her eyes narrowed. "Oh, stay away from Lyra Heartstrings, mint green unicorn mare, she actually has a shipping book she’s made. It’s somewhat disturbing.”

“Ivy?! Ivy what are you-?! Hey!” There was sounds of a struggle. Soon Ivy returned, her purple finger-like appendages were extended and had trussed up a white unicorn mare. The surprisingly strong plant was dragging the mare behind her.

“Let me go- Oh! Darling you brought me to exactly where I wanted to go!” The mare beamed on seeing Dustin. “Now just let me go-”

“No!” Ivy snapped. “He is not some- some prize! Some mannequin you can dress up!”

The grey mare stood up from the table. “Ivy hun, calm down. You’ve disabled the Rarity and I think now we can have a civilized conversation.”

“But Octavia-” Ivy was cut off.

“We don’t know what her intentions were.” Octavia responded calmly. “I think you’re just a tad bit worked up over something that may have been blown out of proportion.”

Ivy blinked. “O-oh!” She seemed to just realise what she’d done, and had returned to her more quiet state. “I-I’m sorry Rarity!”

“No serious harm done.” ‘Rarity responded with a strained smile. “Can you let me go now?”

“Dustin? What do you think? She was after you.” Octavia said with a glance at Dustin.

“As long as she stays at a respectable distance until she’s explained herself, I see no problems with this plan,” Dustin said.

With a small frown Ivy released the white mare, purple tendrils retracting back into her arms.

“Oh goodness.” Rarity said with a breath, pushing a strand of mane out of her eyes as she rose to her hooves. “Thank you dear. Though I’m going to need a long bath after this. I’ve been running all over Ponyville-”

“Rarity. Don’t make me have Ivy wrap your mouth shut.” Octavia said flatly.

“O-Oh right… Of course.” Rarity giggled weakly. Then he eyes fell on Dustin. “Darling… I’ve been trying to meet you all day.”

“It’s been…. What… Maybe an hour tops?” Geralt said from his lounging position in the tree.

“Well it feels like all day, Mister Jameson.” Rarity shot a glare at the wolf.

“Did you maybe not think that your approach was slightly, I don’t know,” Dustin hummed as he thought of the words. “A bit fucking mental for just meeting someone?”

“Eh heh.” Rarity’s ears pinned back as she took a step back. “Perhaps a bit?”

“She reminded me of the seagulls from ‘Finding Nemo,’” Dustin explained to the others.

“Funny. I thought of Vegeta.” Guilmon commented from the table.

“Oh, I miss that movie.” Ivy seemed to wilt further and Octavia pulled the plant into a hug.

“I… I don’t understand.” Rarity blinked.

“Shouting ‘Mine mine mine’ does not endear you to someone,” Dustin pointed out.

“I can go… a little… overboard…” Rarity slumped. “I was just so excited…”

“Rarity that wasn’t overboard.” Ivy said briefly flaring up. “That was Titanic.”

“Holy shit that was dark!” Geralt barked a laugh as everyone stared at the small plant in shock.

“Look,” Dustin said, getting Rarity’s attention again. “The reason I came to Ponyville was to get away from Suri and her fashion obsession, okay? I could only take so much of being fawned over and her gilded cage methods of keeping her models before I got fed up at not being allowed to go do things.”

“Oh…” Rarity’s eyes widened. “Oh darling I’m so sorry! Had I known… I wouldn’t have acted so… so…”

“Psychotic?” Pinkie supplied.

“A bit much… but yes….” Rarity’s brow furrowed as she nodded at the pink mare.

“Happy to help.” Pinkie giggled.

“Let’s start over,” Dustin suggested, holding out a paw. “The name’s Dustin.”

“Rarity.” Rarity reached out and tentatively shook the proffered paw with a hoof. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Dustin.”

“The pleasure’s all mine,” Dustin nodded. “Now all I need to do is figure out lodgings, because I would really rather not end up on the streets again.”

“Oh my. That would be horrid!” Rarity gasped. “How about this… Because of my rather… uncouth behavior I will offer you a room. I have a couple of spare rooms at the boutique. Yes, they’d need to be cleaned out a bit, but they’re yours for free if you want one.”

“Oh, I couldn’t possibly impose that much,” Dustin said. “I have some bits from my last job, I could certainly pay you rent if you wanted me to.”

“At least buy her dinner before moving in!” Geralt called out with a laugh.

“We do not need suggestions from you, Mister Jameson!” Rarity snapped, shooting a glare at the smirking wolf. Her gaze softened as it returned to Dustin. “Dustin, don’t worry about the bits, use them for yourself. What kind of Bearer of Generosity would I be if I took those bits?”

“A smart one? Free bits Rarity!” Pinkie called out.

“...You remind me of me. I was always buying things for my friends back home,” Dustin chuckled. He turned back to the table, closed up his 3DS, and put it back in the bag. “Well, at least let me help you clean the rooms out if you’re going to offer them to me.”

“It’s a deal darling.” Rarity smiled. “Shall we?”

“Of course,” Dustin nodded. “Well, today turned out...okay in the end,” he said. “By the way, why is Tuesday such a big deal?”

“Well Tuesday…”

The group watched the two leave.

“Oh God, this is going to crash and burn so fast.” Guilmon faceclawed.

“It’s like magnets with the same poles, they’re going to repel each other.” Ivy shrugged.

“Who wants to watch the fireworks?” Pinkie asked happily. “I can go get the popcorn!”

“Ten bits they don’t last the week.” Geralt chuckled darkly.

Octavia shot a glare at the wolf. “Twenty. Three days.”

“Five bits on Dustin blowing up first.” Ivy announced.

“Ten on Rarity.” Guilmon pointed a claw at the plant.

The group continued to make bets, even as the payload of fox and mare headed back to her boutique.