FlutterStalker: The Mare Who Molested Meby GroaningGreyAgonyChaptersXylophonyTurnaboutPizzasterEpitaphThe StingXylophonyYou wake up one day to banging and clattering in front of your house, punctuated by an occasional quiet "Oh, drat." You throw on your bathrobe and sneak out the back window to investigate. Peering around the front of house, you see Fluttershy setting up a suspended cage trap outside your front door. She appears to be trying to wire it to a xylophone. This is way too good to pass up. You sneak back inside, get dressed, sneak out again, and visit all of Fluttershy's dearest friends in turn... Hours later, Fluttershy is putting the finishing touches on her trap. She places the sheet music for Those Endearing Young Charms on the music stand, wipes the sweat from her brow, and steps back... and then sees a crowd out of the corner of her eye. She whirls in shock to see you and all her friends standing nearby with encouraging smiles. Yours is the biggest smile of all. "Well, it looks as if Fluttershy is ready to play the xylophone for all of us, just as I said!" you announce cheerfully. Alfalfa spills from her saddlebags. She tries to stammer out some lame excuse, but no one buys it. Everypony just assumes she's too embarrassed to perform, so they just grin and nod at her eagerly. Fluttershy laughs in a panicked way and asks if she can substitute another song for Those Endearing Young Charms. You tell her that everyone is expecting that song... but she can play Fair Harvard instead if she likes. She laughs even louder and shoots you a horrible look. You're enjoying this way too much. Everypony shouts encouraging words to get her to start. Shivering, Fluttershy lifts the mallets and begins to pick out the song. She's shaking so hard that the tremolo comes naturally, and she rolls each note as long as she can to delay things. You drink deeply of her pain. She's too anal about music; she can't deliberately play it wrong. All you have to do is wait for her to set off her own trap... She works her way through "those-en-dear-ing" and is now at the critical notes. You eye the dangling cage above her and grin at her. Beads of sweat roll down her forehead. The mallets tremble as they hover over the right keys... And swing down... "young-charms..." Nothing happens. Your grin fades. Did she wire the wrong note? She continues playing the song as you bend over to sneak a look under the xylophone and check the wires... Fluttershy suddenly stamps her hoof—boomf-ba-boomf, boomf-ba-boomf—and swings into Come On Eileen. Every pony starts to dance happily, jumping up and down in time with the boomfs. Pinkie shouts out "Party!" and rears up, belly bumping your ass and knocking you off balance. You fall and roll... "toora-loora-toora-loo-" Under the xylophone... "rye-ay" WHAM! The cage triggers and crashes down around you and Fluttershy. The party drags on for hours. Ditzy and some of her pals makes a quick trip around 12 AM to pick up more supplies. It takes forever for the ponies to stop partying, realize there's a problem, and hunt for a blowtorch or jaws-of-life. Fluttershy has you trapped all up close and personal with her the whole damn time. You wind up with friction burns from her constant attempts to "snuggle" you. Fucking Xanatos Fluttershy. TurnaboutIt's day ohdayohdayoh in Equestria, and you're trying to come up with a plan to get Flutterstalk off your back. It would help if there was some way to get inside her house, or even her head, for just a day... Idea! You recover a strand of Fluttershy's tail hair, left in your house from one of her previous attempts to seduce you, then pay a visit to Zecorah and ask her for a transmogrify potion. She gives you a look that you don't understand, but sells you the potion at your demand. You drop the pink tail hair in, hold your nose, close your eyes, and take a drink. You curl up in pain as your guts slide around inside you, your bones twist and bend, and yellow wings burst messily from your back. After an hour of torture, you now resemble Fluttershy. You stand up unsteadily and try to walk around on four huge toes, always wanting to grab onto something with the hands you don't have. You try flying instead and painfully hit a few trees. After a while, you give up and just practice walking on your way to Fluttershy's house. You walk boldly into her house, hoping to find some blueprints of her future plans, or even her diary, when you stop in shock. You see yourself, your human body, standing next to the drained bottle of a transmogrify potion. Fluttershy must have had the same idea you had. (S)he stares at you in shock and seems about to faint, but then you identify yourself and explain what you did. Flutteryou kneels before you and begs for your forgiveness. (S)he starts babbling about how she was hoping to get into your pants—heh, head—because she had to know how you thought in order to reach you. And now she understands completely; she feels no attraction for ponies at all while in your form. She was being so awful to you and it's horrible to try to force sexual affection on someone who doesn't feel it too and she's genuinely sorry and she'll leave you alone from now on. You can see in her eyes that she really means it. Mission. Fucking. Accomplished. You accept her apology, and give her some soothing words as you keep looking deep into those human eyes, the eyes of a creature cruelly trapped a universe away from its real home, never to see its own kind again. You just want to hug and console and comfort and love and... Shit, you're getting turned on. The potion must have done too good a job of turning you into Fluttershy. Flutteryou starts to realize what you're thinking, and backs away from you. You walk forward, trying to look reassuring, saying that you only want a hug, but your huge limpid eyes tell a different story. The sexual urge is smacking you like a sledgehammer in the loins. When these equine bodies get horny, they go full tilt, overwhelming all attempts at rational control. Ponies have lifelong experience in reining in this intense animal lust... But you are losing the battle. Flutteryou yells in panic and tries to run. His/her resistance only makes you wetter. In a bound you're on top of him/her, your equine genitals winking in a horse code of eager need. Flutteryou screams no, and some deep part of you realizes that s/he really means it, but you're too far gone to care. Blackout. You wake up in Fluttershy's bed, Twilight lecturing you in sorrow and anger as Dash and AJ grimly hold you down. Pinkie and Rarity are caring for an unconscious Flutteryou, trying to clean up gallons of lustslime from the ravaged body. As you try to collect your thoughts, the potion wears off and you change back to your own body. It's a lot quicker this time, but it hurts even worse. Twilight halts in mid speech and starts to stammer. "Anon...? But if you're Anon, then that means... Oh, Celestia, NO!" Everypony shrinks back and stares at you in disgust and horror. You try to explain but it just makes things worse. You slink home. You just raped Fluttershy, and thereby also raped yourself... and it doesn't end there. When Fluttershy recovers, all she'll remember is that when the situation was reversed, you lost control and gave in to your desires. Now you'll never stop her from trying to take you. You've lost any trust and sympathy that you had from her friends. You've fucked yourself over for the rest of your miserable life. Fucking you. PizzasterAfter much discussion and experimenting, you and Pinkie Pie have figured out how she can make a decent veggie pizza for you. Most of the ingredients were readily available, though you are careful not to ask where the milk for the cheese comes from—it might possibly be someone you've met. It's time to pick up your weekly pie—one of the little things that help to keep you sane. You edge cautiously out the front door and jump over Fluttershy's pathetic noose trap. The noose gets reeled into the bushes a second after you land safely. You shake your head and head to Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie greets you ecstatically and proudly hands you a large pizza pie. The aroma of browned cheese and baked dough steaming through the cardboard box overwhelms you and sends you back home to Earth for just a moment. You let out a huge happy sigh. The look in your eyes tells Pinkie how much it means to you, and she beams with pleasure at helping a friend. She also offers you some Equestrian "buffalo wings"—lumps of potato in hot sauce, cut to look like chicken thighs. You consider it. "No wings, please; I actually don't like them nearly as much as the pie." Pinkie looks disappointed but appreciates your honesty, and the two of you discuss ways that she might improve them for you. You leave on a happy note, thanking her profusely for the pizza. You reach home, check for traps. No sign of Flutterstalk. You enter your house, sit at your kitchen table, open the box and take up a glorious gooey slice of pizza... A ponderous rapping on the front door—argh! Still holding the slice, you go to the door and open it. You drop the slice on the floor. Fluttershy is standing there. Her legs shudder unsteadily, like those of a young foal. Her lips are ghastly pale. "Is... Is this your fetish?" Something is missing... You stare at her in horror. You see a pair of garden shears lying on the lawn, covered with yellow feathers.... "I made myself beautiful... for you... do... you love me now?" By the time you get back from taking her to the hospital, you don't want the pizza any more. In fact, you never want pizza ever again. Fucking. Goddamned. Fluttershy. EpitaphSixty damned years in Equestria... and no point in returning to Earth even if you could. Your friends and family must all be dead, or too old to recognize your face. You'd be a fossil, left behind by your generation, and the culture shock would be almost greater than... than when you came here. The cool green hills of Earth have faded in your mind, replaced by the bright child-safe hills of Equestria, and your Earthly memories are as faded and unreal as a celluloid film. You don't feel as if you could possibly be this old, that this wrinkled, pain-checked body you bear could really be your own. You stand in the rain before a stone pillar and stare at the ground, striving to recall something of your early life... something that made you happy. You're still trying when you hear soft hoofsteps on the muddy ground behind you. Twilight gently nuzzles your shoulder in greeting. Her muzzle and mane are streaked with silver, and her gait is almost as slow as yours. You place a trembling, arthritic and friendly arm around her neck at the withers. The two of you stand still for a while, until Twilight breaks the silence. "The years never get easier to bear, do they?" "No. It doesn't much matter whether you have two or four legs to carry them." You look at the rain splashing around your feet. "Twilight... I wish I knew why I was here. Not just in Equestria. Why I existed—exist at all." "That's a fair question, shared by many. Do you have any feelings about it?" "I... I feel distant from everything, unrooted. Life slipped by and left me behind. Perhaps it's just me, because I don't remember feeling very certain about things before I came here. But I seem to have spent my whole life just marking time and waiting for something to happen, and it never did. "But in a sense, I think I didn't want anything to happen. I didn't want to belong..." You trail off into silence. She picks up the thread."...Because you didn't want to give up your hope of returning to Earth. If you formed too many attachments here, it might have prevented your return... Do I guess correctly?" You frown. "There are Earth legends about a magical race called the Faerie, and supposedly a mortal who eats of their food can never return to the normal world. I can't say that I believed that, but—" Twilight nods. "Some truths run deeper than the facts. I understand." She inhales deeply, taking in the scent of the wet air, the trees, the sodden ground, all of which tell a deeper story to her than you will ever perceive. "Perhaps the problem is not that your life had no purpose. Perhaps it did, and you just chose not to live for that purpose. And now you're facing the consequences of your decision." "Easy for you to say. You're something important to this universe. You personify the most vital of its Elements. Me... I'm just an accident. I wasn't supposed to be here." Twilight studies the rain, watching uncountable drops fall to be absorbed by the ground, seemingly to no effect at all. The ground is ever thirsty, and there is always more rain. "Tell me. If you had a chance to go back and do things again, might you... choose differently?" You meet her deep violet eyes in a long gaze. "Regarding her, you mean? I don't think I could." "Would it have hurt so much if you had? Everything the two of you did in your lives brought you to this point, here and now. Does it matter so much now in what way you got here?" You think back on your life in Equestria, the years of self-imposed solitude. "It does...or at least it did. If the destination is all the same, the journey must be what matters." "That's one way to look at it." Twilight gazes at the ground for a while, pensive, but not ruminative. "I don't know what force brought you here, but I do think you came into our lives for a reason. She always needed something she could care about more than herself. It was her whole reason for being. She was the Element of Kindness, after all." "She wasn't very kind to me, was she?" "We who are—or were—the Elements... we couldn't always live up to it. Flesh is imperfect. We each tried the best we could, and we all had our failings. "But how she saw you... You were something outside the rules. With other ponies, she was clam-silent, always polite, but reserved. You came from outside the social structure in which she was raised. She felt more comfortable around you, a carnivorous alien, than she ever could around her own kind. Like her animals, you had no prejudgements of her, but unlike them, you were sapient and thus had potential to return her feelings on levels an animal could never reach." Twilight's cheeks are wet with more than rain. She looks up at you. "Perhaps on the face of it she wasn't very kind to you... but she would have given you every scrap of love she had. And I know that's a heavy responsibility, and not to be taken on lightly, so I can't blame you for choosing otherwise. You didn't... you didn't want to be attached here. You can't turn feelings on and off like a faucet. Yours couldn't be turned on, and hers couldn't be turned off. That wasn't your fault, and it wasn't hers..." Your hands are trembling with more than age. Anger fills your heart and lends steel and fire to your voice. "So whose fault is it, then? My whole life was yanked away from me, ruined, just so I could be some mannequin or Yahoo dress up doll for her fantasies? Did anyone think of asking me first? And when was anyone ever going to tell me this? And what in fuck's name is the point of telling me now, when it's too late?" Twilight stands her ground. "It's really not anything we did. The Diarchs didn't order it to happen. But if it hadn't happened, and you had lived out a purposeless life on Earth, and not accomplished anything, wouldn't you also be asking now whose fault it was that you never even got a chance? "None of us get asked or told anything in advance, and it isn't fair, but we can't help it. I always liked that line from the story you told me with the swift white horse in it... 'All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.' "You made your decision, and so did she. "What's happiness worth in the end? It doesn't last, you can't save it, it's something you try to pack into your life if you're able. Some have more of a chance to do this than others, but whatever you choose, everyone winds up the same way. The only thing that can possibly matter is that you try to live as well as you can." Twilight looks at you with all the dignity of a princess, but also all the respect due to an equal. "And you are not a Yahoo, and we never once thought of you that way. Yahoos and animals only live life once. It is given to us, to you and me, to be able to see the world as it might be and not as it is, and thus our lives have extra dimension. If anything can change the way things are, it will have its start in this ability of ours." You nod. "That's true enough. We who are sapient, who can see what might be and what might have been, we get to live life over and over in all sort of ways. And many of them hurt." Twilight smiles. "But some of them are nice. What you can't live, you can at least imagine. And if how we live or what we imagine brings the world closer to a distant potential, one's life has not been wasted, has it?" "So, still, why have you told me all this now? What can I do at this point?" A glimmer of hope strikes you. "What you said before... about doing it over... was that an offer, by any chance...?" Twilight sighs. "We who practice magic must always be careful with our speech. I am sorry, I wish that I could, but not even the Diarchs can change time, or redo what has been done, for themselves or for anyone. "But I am suggesting that with the time you have left to you, you can write it down—what might have been, what you wanted it to be. And this for the same reason that we write down historical events; so that the worst mistakes may not be repeated, and the best ideals can be someday made into reality." "I... I have no clue of how to begin writing such a thing." "If you had one thing to say to your younger self, what would it be?" "I... don't know, I would have to think..." "Well, think of it, then start with that. Let me know when you're ready to begin; I'll assign you a scribe if you like." Twilight takes her leave, and limps slowly away into the grey distance, fading into the rain like a dream. You remain, standing by the mound of sodden earth and the stone pillar inset with a pink butterfly gem, mounted in gold. You stretch up a shaky hand, and try to touch the gem. To your surprise, it comes loose readily and rests in your palm, the sudden weight making your whole arm sway. It feels warm, and its radiance sends a whisper, just a hint of peace and happiness over your heart. You wonder if she is still in there in some sense, or if much of what she was was somehow embodied in this element before she was even born. Could an immortal element remember? Remembrance is a change, and that which changes cannot be eternal, can it? You gaze at the polished stone of the monument, then drag the gem along its surface. The sharp point cuts easily into the stone, marring the smooth finish with your rough scratches. You replace the gem, which leaps back into its socket, then step back to survey what you've written: Don't wait. After a time, you turn and begin the slow, slow walk to your house. To home. Author's Note Critics should note that Fluttershy herself approves of this story and blessed its first appearance. The StingThere's a gentle, hesitant knock on the door. You know it's Flutterstalker. You check your anti-Flutter paraphernalia. You forgot to reset the water bucket trap outside the door, but the hard-rubber caltrops and the whiffle bat are stowed in the umbrella stand as usual. You hook a cream pie out of the fridge and hold it behind your back as you answer the door. She's standing there, trembling, looking a lot more nervous than usual. She looks at you with the gentlest hint of The Stare, and takes a deep breath. "Uhm, I know I've asked you questions like this before... but this is a little different this time. I really need an honest answer from you." You nod seriously. The muscles of your pie-throwing arm grow tense. "Go ahead." "Uhm..." She winces, as if preparing for a blow. "Repeatedly spurning a woman's advances by humiliating her... taking pleasure in simply turning her down... is that your fetish?" You freeze. Your face goes dead. The answer just slips out of you before you can filter it. "...Yes." Pain flashes over her, but she holds her head high. As you watch, something dies behind her eyes. "I... I understand. I promise..." Her voice breaks. "I promise that I won't bother you ever again." She turns and slowly walks away, and in the long lonely years to come she keeps her promise. You shut the door and set down the pie. Suddenly, without knowing why, you're weeping.
XylophonyYou wake up one day to banging and clattering in front of your house, punctuated by an occasional quiet "Oh, drat." You throw on your bathrobe and sneak out the back window to investigate. Peering around the front of house, you see Fluttershy setting up a suspended cage trap outside your front door. She appears to be trying to wire it to a xylophone. This is way too good to pass up. You sneak back inside, get dressed, sneak out again, and visit all of Fluttershy's dearest friends in turn... Hours later, Fluttershy is putting the finishing touches on her trap. She places the sheet music for Those Endearing Young Charms on the music stand, wipes the sweat from her brow, and steps back... and then sees a crowd out of the corner of her eye. She whirls in shock to see you and all her friends standing nearby with encouraging smiles. Yours is the biggest smile of all. "Well, it looks as if Fluttershy is ready to play the xylophone for all of us, just as I said!" you announce cheerfully. Alfalfa spills from her saddlebags. She tries to stammer out some lame excuse, but no one buys it. Everypony just assumes she's too embarrassed to perform, so they just grin and nod at her eagerly. Fluttershy laughs in a panicked way and asks if she can substitute another song for Those Endearing Young Charms. You tell her that everyone is expecting that song... but she can play Fair Harvard instead if she likes. She laughs even louder and shoots you a horrible look. You're enjoying this way too much. Everypony shouts encouraging words to get her to start. Shivering, Fluttershy lifts the mallets and begins to pick out the song. She's shaking so hard that the tremolo comes naturally, and she rolls each note as long as she can to delay things. You drink deeply of her pain. She's too anal about music; she can't deliberately play it wrong. All you have to do is wait for her to set off her own trap... She works her way through "those-en-dear-ing" and is now at the critical notes. You eye the dangling cage above her and grin at her. Beads of sweat roll down her forehead. The mallets tremble as they hover over the right keys... And swing down... "young-charms..." Nothing happens. Your grin fades. Did she wire the wrong note? She continues playing the song as you bend over to sneak a look under the xylophone and check the wires... Fluttershy suddenly stamps her hoof—boomf-ba-boomf, boomf-ba-boomf—and swings into Come On Eileen. Every pony starts to dance happily, jumping up and down in time with the boomfs. Pinkie shouts out "Party!" and rears up, belly bumping your ass and knocking you off balance. You fall and roll... "toora-loora-toora-loo-" Under the xylophone... "rye-ay" WHAM! The cage triggers and crashes down around you and Fluttershy. The party drags on for hours. Ditzy and some of her pals makes a quick trip around 12 AM to pick up more supplies. It takes forever for the ponies to stop partying, realize there's a problem, and hunt for a blowtorch or jaws-of-life. Fluttershy has you trapped all up close and personal with her the whole damn time. You wind up with friction burns from her constant attempts to "snuggle" you. Fucking Xanatos Fluttershy.
TurnaboutIt's day ohdayohdayoh in Equestria, and you're trying to come up with a plan to get Flutterstalk off your back. It would help if there was some way to get inside her house, or even her head, for just a day... Idea! You recover a strand of Fluttershy's tail hair, left in your house from one of her previous attempts to seduce you, then pay a visit to Zecorah and ask her for a transmogrify potion. She gives you a look that you don't understand, but sells you the potion at your demand. You drop the pink tail hair in, hold your nose, close your eyes, and take a drink. You curl up in pain as your guts slide around inside you, your bones twist and bend, and yellow wings burst messily from your back. After an hour of torture, you now resemble Fluttershy. You stand up unsteadily and try to walk around on four huge toes, always wanting to grab onto something with the hands you don't have. You try flying instead and painfully hit a few trees. After a while, you give up and just practice walking on your way to Fluttershy's house. You walk boldly into her house, hoping to find some blueprints of her future plans, or even her diary, when you stop in shock. You see yourself, your human body, standing next to the drained bottle of a transmogrify potion. Fluttershy must have had the same idea you had. (S)he stares at you in shock and seems about to faint, but then you identify yourself and explain what you did. Flutteryou kneels before you and begs for your forgiveness. (S)he starts babbling about how she was hoping to get into your pants—heh, head—because she had to know how you thought in order to reach you. And now she understands completely; she feels no attraction for ponies at all while in your form. She was being so awful to you and it's horrible to try to force sexual affection on someone who doesn't feel it too and she's genuinely sorry and she'll leave you alone from now on. You can see in her eyes that she really means it. Mission. Fucking. Accomplished. You accept her apology, and give her some soothing words as you keep looking deep into those human eyes, the eyes of a creature cruelly trapped a universe away from its real home, never to see its own kind again. You just want to hug and console and comfort and love and... Shit, you're getting turned on. The potion must have done too good a job of turning you into Fluttershy. Flutteryou starts to realize what you're thinking, and backs away from you. You walk forward, trying to look reassuring, saying that you only want a hug, but your huge limpid eyes tell a different story. The sexual urge is smacking you like a sledgehammer in the loins. When these equine bodies get horny, they go full tilt, overwhelming all attempts at rational control. Ponies have lifelong experience in reining in this intense animal lust... But you are losing the battle. Flutteryou yells in panic and tries to run. His/her resistance only makes you wetter. In a bound you're on top of him/her, your equine genitals winking in a horse code of eager need. Flutteryou screams no, and some deep part of you realizes that s/he really means it, but you're too far gone to care. Blackout. You wake up in Fluttershy's bed, Twilight lecturing you in sorrow and anger as Dash and AJ grimly hold you down. Pinkie and Rarity are caring for an unconscious Flutteryou, trying to clean up gallons of lustslime from the ravaged body. As you try to collect your thoughts, the potion wears off and you change back to your own body. It's a lot quicker this time, but it hurts even worse. Twilight halts in mid speech and starts to stammer. "Anon...? But if you're Anon, then that means... Oh, Celestia, NO!" Everypony shrinks back and stares at you in disgust and horror. You try to explain but it just makes things worse. You slink home. You just raped Fluttershy, and thereby also raped yourself... and it doesn't end there. When Fluttershy recovers, all she'll remember is that when the situation was reversed, you lost control and gave in to your desires. Now you'll never stop her from trying to take you. You've lost any trust and sympathy that you had from her friends. You've fucked yourself over for the rest of your miserable life. Fucking you.
PizzasterAfter much discussion and experimenting, you and Pinkie Pie have figured out how she can make a decent veggie pizza for you. Most of the ingredients were readily available, though you are careful not to ask where the milk for the cheese comes from—it might possibly be someone you've met. It's time to pick up your weekly pie—one of the little things that help to keep you sane. You edge cautiously out the front door and jump over Fluttershy's pathetic noose trap. The noose gets reeled into the bushes a second after you land safely. You shake your head and head to Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie greets you ecstatically and proudly hands you a large pizza pie. The aroma of browned cheese and baked dough steaming through the cardboard box overwhelms you and sends you back home to Earth for just a moment. You let out a huge happy sigh. The look in your eyes tells Pinkie how much it means to you, and she beams with pleasure at helping a friend. She also offers you some Equestrian "buffalo wings"—lumps of potato in hot sauce, cut to look like chicken thighs. You consider it. "No wings, please; I actually don't like them nearly as much as the pie." Pinkie looks disappointed but appreciates your honesty, and the two of you discuss ways that she might improve them for you. You leave on a happy note, thanking her profusely for the pizza. You reach home, check for traps. No sign of Flutterstalk. You enter your house, sit at your kitchen table, open the box and take up a glorious gooey slice of pizza... A ponderous rapping on the front door—argh! Still holding the slice, you go to the door and open it. You drop the slice on the floor. Fluttershy is standing there. Her legs shudder unsteadily, like those of a young foal. Her lips are ghastly pale. "Is... Is this your fetish?" Something is missing... You stare at her in horror. You see a pair of garden shears lying on the lawn, covered with yellow feathers.... "I made myself beautiful... for you... do... you love me now?" By the time you get back from taking her to the hospital, you don't want the pizza any more. In fact, you never want pizza ever again. Fucking. Goddamned. Fluttershy.
EpitaphSixty damned years in Equestria... and no point in returning to Earth even if you could. Your friends and family must all be dead, or too old to recognize your face. You'd be a fossil, left behind by your generation, and the culture shock would be almost greater than... than when you came here. The cool green hills of Earth have faded in your mind, replaced by the bright child-safe hills of Equestria, and your Earthly memories are as faded and unreal as a celluloid film. You don't feel as if you could possibly be this old, that this wrinkled, pain-checked body you bear could really be your own. You stand in the rain before a stone pillar and stare at the ground, striving to recall something of your early life... something that made you happy. You're still trying when you hear soft hoofsteps on the muddy ground behind you. Twilight gently nuzzles your shoulder in greeting. Her muzzle and mane are streaked with silver, and her gait is almost as slow as yours. You place a trembling, arthritic and friendly arm around her neck at the withers. The two of you stand still for a while, until Twilight breaks the silence. "The years never get easier to bear, do they?" "No. It doesn't much matter whether you have two or four legs to carry them." You look at the rain splashing around your feet. "Twilight... I wish I knew why I was here. Not just in Equestria. Why I existed—exist at all." "That's a fair question, shared by many. Do you have any feelings about it?" "I... I feel distant from everything, unrooted. Life slipped by and left me behind. Perhaps it's just me, because I don't remember feeling very certain about things before I came here. But I seem to have spent my whole life just marking time and waiting for something to happen, and it never did. "But in a sense, I think I didn't want anything to happen. I didn't want to belong..." You trail off into silence. She picks up the thread."...Because you didn't want to give up your hope of returning to Earth. If you formed too many attachments here, it might have prevented your return... Do I guess correctly?" You frown. "There are Earth legends about a magical race called the Faerie, and supposedly a mortal who eats of their food can never return to the normal world. I can't say that I believed that, but—" Twilight nods. "Some truths run deeper than the facts. I understand." She inhales deeply, taking in the scent of the wet air, the trees, the sodden ground, all of which tell a deeper story to her than you will ever perceive. "Perhaps the problem is not that your life had no purpose. Perhaps it did, and you just chose not to live for that purpose. And now you're facing the consequences of your decision." "Easy for you to say. You're something important to this universe. You personify the most vital of its Elements. Me... I'm just an accident. I wasn't supposed to be here." Twilight studies the rain, watching uncountable drops fall to be absorbed by the ground, seemingly to no effect at all. The ground is ever thirsty, and there is always more rain. "Tell me. If you had a chance to go back and do things again, might you... choose differently?" You meet her deep violet eyes in a long gaze. "Regarding her, you mean? I don't think I could." "Would it have hurt so much if you had? Everything the two of you did in your lives brought you to this point, here and now. Does it matter so much now in what way you got here?" You think back on your life in Equestria, the years of self-imposed solitude. "It does...or at least it did. If the destination is all the same, the journey must be what matters." "That's one way to look at it." Twilight gazes at the ground for a while, pensive, but not ruminative. "I don't know what force brought you here, but I do think you came into our lives for a reason. She always needed something she could care about more than herself. It was her whole reason for being. She was the Element of Kindness, after all." "She wasn't very kind to me, was she?" "We who are—or were—the Elements... we couldn't always live up to it. Flesh is imperfect. We each tried the best we could, and we all had our failings. "But how she saw you... You were something outside the rules. With other ponies, she was clam-silent, always polite, but reserved. You came from outside the social structure in which she was raised. She felt more comfortable around you, a carnivorous alien, than she ever could around her own kind. Like her animals, you had no prejudgements of her, but unlike them, you were sapient and thus had potential to return her feelings on levels an animal could never reach." Twilight's cheeks are wet with more than rain. She looks up at you. "Perhaps on the face of it she wasn't very kind to you... but she would have given you every scrap of love she had. And I know that's a heavy responsibility, and not to be taken on lightly, so I can't blame you for choosing otherwise. You didn't... you didn't want to be attached here. You can't turn feelings on and off like a faucet. Yours couldn't be turned on, and hers couldn't be turned off. That wasn't your fault, and it wasn't hers..." Your hands are trembling with more than age. Anger fills your heart and lends steel and fire to your voice. "So whose fault is it, then? My whole life was yanked away from me, ruined, just so I could be some mannequin or Yahoo dress up doll for her fantasies? Did anyone think of asking me first? And when was anyone ever going to tell me this? And what in fuck's name is the point of telling me now, when it's too late?" Twilight stands her ground. "It's really not anything we did. The Diarchs didn't order it to happen. But if it hadn't happened, and you had lived out a purposeless life on Earth, and not accomplished anything, wouldn't you also be asking now whose fault it was that you never even got a chance? "None of us get asked or told anything in advance, and it isn't fair, but we can't help it. I always liked that line from the story you told me with the swift white horse in it... 'All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.' "You made your decision, and so did she. "What's happiness worth in the end? It doesn't last, you can't save it, it's something you try to pack into your life if you're able. Some have more of a chance to do this than others, but whatever you choose, everyone winds up the same way. The only thing that can possibly matter is that you try to live as well as you can." Twilight looks at you with all the dignity of a princess, but also all the respect due to an equal. "And you are not a Yahoo, and we never once thought of you that way. Yahoos and animals only live life once. It is given to us, to you and me, to be able to see the world as it might be and not as it is, and thus our lives have extra dimension. If anything can change the way things are, it will have its start in this ability of ours." You nod. "That's true enough. We who are sapient, who can see what might be and what might have been, we get to live life over and over in all sort of ways. And many of them hurt." Twilight smiles. "But some of them are nice. What you can't live, you can at least imagine. And if how we live or what we imagine brings the world closer to a distant potential, one's life has not been wasted, has it?" "So, still, why have you told me all this now? What can I do at this point?" A glimmer of hope strikes you. "What you said before... about doing it over... was that an offer, by any chance...?" Twilight sighs. "We who practice magic must always be careful with our speech. I am sorry, I wish that I could, but not even the Diarchs can change time, or redo what has been done, for themselves or for anyone. "But I am suggesting that with the time you have left to you, you can write it down—what might have been, what you wanted it to be. And this for the same reason that we write down historical events; so that the worst mistakes may not be repeated, and the best ideals can be someday made into reality." "I... I have no clue of how to begin writing such a thing." "If you had one thing to say to your younger self, what would it be?" "I... don't know, I would have to think..." "Well, think of it, then start with that. Let me know when you're ready to begin; I'll assign you a scribe if you like." Twilight takes her leave, and limps slowly away into the grey distance, fading into the rain like a dream. You remain, standing by the mound of sodden earth and the stone pillar inset with a pink butterfly gem, mounted in gold. You stretch up a shaky hand, and try to touch the gem. To your surprise, it comes loose readily and rests in your palm, the sudden weight making your whole arm sway. It feels warm, and its radiance sends a whisper, just a hint of peace and happiness over your heart. You wonder if she is still in there in some sense, or if much of what she was was somehow embodied in this element before she was even born. Could an immortal element remember? Remembrance is a change, and that which changes cannot be eternal, can it? You gaze at the polished stone of the monument, then drag the gem along its surface. The sharp point cuts easily into the stone, marring the smooth finish with your rough scratches. You replace the gem, which leaps back into its socket, then step back to survey what you've written: Don't wait. After a time, you turn and begin the slow, slow walk to your house. To home. Author's Note Critics should note that Fluttershy herself approves of this story and blessed its first appearance.
The StingThere's a gentle, hesitant knock on the door. You know it's Flutterstalker. You check your anti-Flutter paraphernalia. You forgot to reset the water bucket trap outside the door, but the hard-rubber caltrops and the whiffle bat are stowed in the umbrella stand as usual. You hook a cream pie out of the fridge and hold it behind your back as you answer the door. She's standing there, trembling, looking a lot more nervous than usual. She looks at you with the gentlest hint of The Stare, and takes a deep breath. "Uhm, I know I've asked you questions like this before... but this is a little different this time. I really need an honest answer from you." You nod seriously. The muscles of your pie-throwing arm grow tense. "Go ahead." "Uhm..." She winces, as if preparing for a blow. "Repeatedly spurning a woman's advances by humiliating her... taking pleasure in simply turning her down... is that your fetish?" You freeze. Your face goes dead. The answer just slips out of you before you can filter it. "...Yes." Pain flashes over her, but she holds her head high. As you watch, something dies behind her eyes. "I... I understand. I promise..." Her voice breaks. "I promise that I won't bother you ever again." She turns and slowly walks away, and in the long lonely years to come she keeps her promise. You shut the door and set down the pie. Suddenly, without knowing why, you're weeping.
