Twilight and Rainbow Dash moved into the library proper, Luna and Celestia giving the two the lead. The doors opened into an Atrium, the ponies steps echoing into the vaulted ceilings. At the far side sat an open faced desk with a peculiar creature sitting at it. She wore drab, simple clothes and had draconic features but barely would've come up to any of the visitor's waist, if the dangling legs visible underneath the desk were anything to go by. She had a Moss green coloration, bony ridges across her eyes, and was alert but otherwise seemed calm.

"A Kobold." Luna Sighed, "I've not seen one of them in decades."

"Another species the two of you drove to extinction?" Twilight shot back, "Or did you solo that one?"

"We did nothing of the sort," Luna stomped her hoof in indignation, "We had no choice with the Illithids. Its fine for you to judge us after the fact, Twilight Sparkle. Thee was not there. YOU did not have to make the choice. It must make it easy to judge my sister and I."

Twilight turned to respond but Luna cut her off. "After all none of your friends or loved ones had their minds broken. None of the ones you care for were consumed, their bodies used to propagate the very horror that had consumed them. YOU can just judge from your castle. You've never had to make that choice. You can not possibly understand. I pray that you never have to and that you can continue to hate us. I pray to whatever will listen that you will always have the luxury."

Pushing past the younger Alicorn she stalked up to the desk. As the Svelte Dream Princess focused on the Kobold before her she gained a childish bounce.

"Aren't you a little cutie?" Luna squeed, "Don't listen to the mean Princess Judgy Pants. I happen to find your people incredibly adorable and would never do anything to hurt them. I just want to give you a big hug!"

The Female Kobold blushed as several crystals behind her lit up, as a rather large male dragon was projected into the room. The hologram roosted on the top railing of the Atrium, it's black scales glistened in the light of the library, twin horns sweeping forward to frame a long snout filled with jagged teeth. His immense leathery wings settled at his sides as his claws gripped the rails, his skeletal face glaring down at them. The young Kobold turned and knelt, lowering her head to the ground as she debased herself before her master.

"So this is what happened to you." Celestia snarled. "You conniving piece of gutter filth. You just come forth without saying a word to me. You betrayed your own kind to the Illithids for power, you captured slaves from the other races for them, you led the hunt to drive the last of the Draconequus to extinction and, worst of all, YOU STOOD ME UP!!!!!"

All eyes turned to the Alicorn of the Sun, her hair on fire as the air wavered and the stone floor began to smolder. "You monumental JERK! I could stand it being just a sex thing between us, Tartarus knows I haven't been bucked better since, I could even stand the occasional Assassination attempt, it was sweet of you to send my enemies to me so that I could have an excuse to slaughter them, it really was. But what I could not stand was you standing me up to go Buck that bitch Platinum! I'm an Alicorn! What does some elitist cock sleeve of a Unicorn have that I don't? I hope you got tested afterwards with how thorough she was about preserving the royal bloodline. The only reason she lived as long as she did was her STDs were too busy trying to kill each other to harm her. Her children were born with a permanent case of Syphilis that I only just managed to breed out of them a generation ago."

Stepping forward, the Inferno of Wronged Womanhood glared up at the cringing male coward before her. "Well?! WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?!!!!!" Celestia screamed, her Royal Canterlot Voice reverberating within the room, causing all but the Dragon to clutch their ears.

In the quiet, they all heard the Mighty Black Dragon's Response.

"Bye." The Black Dragon said, as he disappeared without a trace, the crystals in their alcoves going dark.

"DON"T YOU RUN FROM ME!!!! METHOPHIAS GET BACK OUT HERE NOW!!!!!" Celestia demanded, louder than before, her shout causing a shockwave to slam into the walls of the room.

The temperature began to Skyrocket as Celestia gathered her power, the stones at her feet melting.

"I will burn this place to the ground to get to you!" Celestia pronounced, her voice quiet and dangerous, "Do Not Think That I Won-"

A resounding slap echoed forth and a lavender hand was lowered, as a shocked Celestia looked down upon her student.

"Are you better now?" Twilight inquired, her voice strong but low.

Nodding Celestia fell to her knees, her anger leaving her as the horror of what she had almost done fell on her.

Slender lavender arms engulfed her, followed by ones of cyan. Four wings engulfed the Ivory Princess, allowing Celestia to calm herself.

"Yes, I'm so sorry. I just got so angry, that bastard strung me along and then discarded me. I am so sorry, I almost killed you all!" Celestia let out between sobs, the hiccuping snorts making a liar out of her.

As she got herself under control, once more she rose. Looking across the room she could see that Luna had enveloped the Kobold in the tightest hug imaginable. All that could be seen was the poor draconic creature's snout protruding from between Luna's breasts. A glow surrounded the both of them, the corresponding glow of Luna's horn giving the source of the shield away.

"Feeling better now, sister?" Luna asked, her deep tone betraying her annoyance and her glittering eyes amusement, "Done acting the wronged woman? I seem to remember that you and Platinum used to have contests to steal males from each other. You can hardly be mad that he was one of the ones that was on her scorecard. Especially with so many on yours.

Celestia blushed at the implication as she disengaged from Twilight and Rainbow, Rainbow letting out a snort as Twilight looked at her mentor with a smirk upon her face.

"Yes, well the first defeat is always the hardest isn't it?" Celestia snarked back, "Now let the poor Kobold down. You'll smother her if you don't let her have air soon. I have no idea how that Barista survives your affections. Or was that why he's been at the Gym so much lately? Hmmmmm?"

"He has not complained to us. And I do enjoy the six pack he acquired. Your just jealous that no one warms your bed. That just this once, I have someone while you don't." Luna replied.

Deactivating her horn, Luna dropped the magical shield and deposited the Kobold unto the ground. The small female bowed and introduced herself.

"I am First Assistant to the Head Librarian Methophias. I can assist you in whatever you need."

A flash of light and The First Assistant was knocked to the ground as Twilight teleported right on top of her.

"Luna was right! You are so adorable!" Twilight cooed, knuzzling the Kobold tightly, "And you're a Number One Assistant just like my Spike!"

"Uh, Spike, Your Majesty?" Inquired the befuddled Kobold.

"My assistant, he's a dragon, albeit a young one." Twilight stopped her knuzzling as a slow smile formed over her face. "How old are you?"

"If it pleases Your Majesty, I have just reached my majority." She answered, "May I ask why the Lady wishes to know?"

"How do you feel about Dragons?" Twilight continued, her smile getting wider and more sinister as plans formed in her head.

"They are our noble gods, it is an honor to serve them in any way."

"What's your name, First Assistant To The Head Librarian?"

The First Assistant looked blankly back at Twilight, "Name, Your Majesty? We that serve Methophias do not take names, only the titles he gives unto us."

Twilight's eyes narrowed dangerously, her arms clutching protectively around the little First Assistant. "What did you just say?"

Sensing danger, The First Assistant nevertheless repeated her answer, "I apologize if my answer offends or angers you, but I have no name, only the title I was gifted with by Methophias upon completing my training."

"I am most assuredly not angry at you." Twilight corrected the nervous little one in her arms, it was then that Twilight's smile returned.

This time it was positively malevolent as the Lavender Checklist Powered Princess asked, "How do you feel about being impregnated by my dragon as his concubine?"

The Little Female eyes lit up with joy, "It would be a supreme honor to be so used and bring such powerful blood once more into my race."

"Good, but first I gift you the name Index and if that coward of a Dragon that runs this place wants to dispute it I will kindly remind him that I can easily find the crystals that are his. I also happen to know the frequency that crystals shatter at."

Celestia smirked lovingly down upon her former student and asked. "And what if Spike has no wish for a concubine? Or is unhappy that you got him one?"

"Please, he holds it back but he needs the release. If he doesn't get some soon he's likely to become dangerous. Dragon Hormones are no joke. Once it becomes clear that she's doing this of her own free will, he'll jump all over her." Pulling Index closer Twilight finished, "Besides he'll also be very protective of her, more so after she becomes pregnant. I really would not want to be the one that harms a scale on her head. Spike can get vicious when it comes to protecting those he cares for."

A squee was heard as all eyes turned to see Luna bouncing up and down. "That means adorable Kobold babies! EHHHHHHHH!"

"Hey guys?" Rainbow Dash spoke up, "I agree that Index is adorable and that Spike needs to get some relief, but can we please get on with why we're here! I need to find that book on the Wonderbolts! It could hold forgotten secrets and besides they said we could befriend it! Interactive Wonderbolt Book Friend! I need that!"

"I am afraid that that section of the Library had to be sealed off, along with the Arcane repository, Methophias's central coding chamber, and, just recently, our birthing cavern." Index said helpfully from the depths of Twilight's bossom.

"Sealed off? Why, my dear little one?" Princess Celestia asked.

"Those Areas have an Infestation of Puppeteers." Index answered. "The Noble Methophias sealed the chambers to prevent further contamination. We are lucky we could re-establish a new birthing cavern in an alternate area. The new generation will be well protected, by his will."

"How many of the previous birthing were saved?" Luna asked, "How many uninfected Kobolds, made it out of the infected areas?"

Index cocked her head. "None made it out, all had to be sealed inside lest the Puppeteers spread. None can get through those seals. Only by the will of Methophias can one go in and only by his will can any leave."

Celestia snorted her disgust, then overruled the adorkable First Assistant. "Oh, I think I know one that can."

Looking directly upwards Celestia addressed the city, "Ach'ri'oa, I know that you heard all of that and that you wanted us to hear it too. I have a solution."

"Does it involve burning more of me to the ground? I really can't take much more damage."

Celestia pursed her lips, "No, It involves bringing in adventurers, Puppeteer parts are invaluable for all sorts of alchemy. You might have the single greatest concentration ever seen. So, want to make a deal?"

The city's squeal echoed into the library, "Oh, I just knew we all were going to be such great friends!"

Author's Note

Things are beginning to shape up aren't they? How else will things form?

No Please, tell me how they'll form because I have not the faintest idea in hell and I am starting to get a little scared. I actually started giggling like a madman when I wrote Celestia's rant at Methophias. Not to mention any part involving Index.

For those of you in anyway insulted or hurt by the contents of this fanfic, I invite you to go piss off. I warned you this was going to get bad, you chose to read this far anyway. I am in no way pulling this back. Hell I really think it's going to get a whole lot worse.

For those curious, Say hello to Index:

Also, greet Methophias:

Also, I have no idea why I keep referencing the great author Georg's work, Her Royal Morning Coffee (Georg Senpai Notice Me!) but go read it and like it. Maybe we'll get a sequel one of these days. Just to be clear, the references are for humor alone and in no way me claiming any real association with that work, or any work my fevered mind may reference here. This is pretty much I pick a direction and sometimes I get to the destination, sometimes I don't, and sometimes I end up somewhere else entirely. This is a Crack Fic of the most divergent variety, I have absolutely no control, just minor editing rights. If I try to change anything I gets the hose again.