Twilight Velvet woke up just before the sun rose over the horizon.
Today was November 1st, the second of the three 'spirit days' of the year and considered by many people to just be a rest day between two major party holidays. They would use this day to relax after Nightmare Night and prepare for the Day of the Dead celebrations tomorrow.
But some, like Velvet, used today to begin their celebrations a little early, for people they just wanted to think about peacefully, without the noise and festivity of tomorrow.
Velvet looked over to see that her husband was still fast asleep and, making sure not to disturb him, got up. Without bothering to get dressed, she wrapped herself in one of Night Light's robes to keep herself warm and put on a pair of sneakers. She took one last look him before leaving. Part of her had always wanted to ask if he wanted to join her, and by all accounts he probably would, but this was something she needed to do alone...as it was something she felt only a mother could understand.
She quietly shut the door and made her way down the hall and, as always, paused right outside her daughter's room. She quickly peeked and inside and found her sleeping peacefully after the craziness of last night. Her dog and owl likewise were fast asleep at their usual posts.
Her eyes lingered over her sleeping daughter and a small smile found it's way to her lips. She loved her son immensely too, of course. After all he was their firstborn child and only son, who always made them proud with his achievements and great personality. But Twilight was the one who had come after, the one who had cleared the dark clouds that always seem to be over the family's heads for those few years before she came. If anything, she was a part of this too.
Velvet continued on down the stairs, to the dining room to grab a chair, and then to the closet. Standing on the chair, she reached up high in the closet and took hold of a specially carved box and brought it down. She closed the closet but left the chair for when she returned and headed out to the backyard.
The air was chilly and the Sun Goddess was just beginning to shine her light across the sky as Velvet made her way to the back of the yard. Naturally, all was quiet as everyone usually slept in on this day, even the animals were quiet, but Velvet always got up early to do this, no matter how tired she was from Nightmare Night, in order not to let it ruin the rest of her day, and to not ruin it for her family either.
She set the chest down near the fence and got a short but wide table hidden behind the garage, aka Twilight's lab. She set it down against the fence, then opened up the box and began to set up.
The cloth was black and draped over the table. Sewn on it was a bright white pentagram. She pulled out five white tealight candles and set them up at the points of the pentagram. She arranged the little painted glass skull and set it on one end of the table. Then she went and picked a few of the flowers that hadn't died yet and set them down on the other side. Her husband loved to garden and had everything arranged and planted meticulously, but considering it was fall and they were dying anyways, she figured he wouldn't mind. She reached into her pocket and set down some of the leftover candy from yesterday. As this wasn't an 'official' ritual, she didn't use everything in the box but grabbed just one more thing.
She reached her hand in and pressed a button with opened a secret compartment on the underside of the box. She took a deep breath before pulling it out and looking at it.
It was an old and slightly tattered picture of an ultrasound. The only one they got before it happened.
Fighting the tears gathering behind her eyes she set the photo down in the middle of the pentagram and lit the candles. Normally she was not a very religious or spiritual woman, but today was different. Now the normally joyful and lively woman sat down and went silent and closed her eyes as she retreated into her thoughts.
Things had been crazy with Shining Armor. They were both young, just married, and still early in their careers so things quickly got hectic. Velvet is forever grateful to her dearly departed parents for helping them out through that time.
A few years later things were more settled when they seriously began considering having another child. Shining Armor had really wanted a younger sibling and Velvet was longing to hold another baby in her arms, so when it finally happened everyone was ecstatic. It wouldn't be like before. They were prepared this time. They did everything right, doctors, medicine, diet. When enough time had passed they learned they were expecting another boy. Velvet and her mother were slightly disappointed it wasn't a girl this time, but who cared? They were still thrilled. Everything was fine and the future was looking bright filled with the sounds of two boys someday running around the house.
Then everything went wrong.
That day had started out just like any other, but early in the afternoon Velvet had a feeling something was wrong but couldn't place it. She decided to shrug it off and figured the doctor would ease her worries at their appointment later that day.
When they got there, the doctor couldn't find a heartbeat.
Then the doctor told her one of the worst words she's ever heard:
Miscarriage.
Velvet went numb. Night had tears in his eyes as he tried to comfort her. Trying to tell her it would be all right. But it wasn't alright. What did he know? He wasn't the one carrying their dead baby.
Next thing she knew, she was waking up in a hospital bed with another doctor telling her the procedure had gone well and that there shouldn't be any problem if they wanted any future children.
But how could Velvet think about the next one when this had just lost this one?
She put on a brave face for her son and comforted him when he got upset. It wasn't until after he went to sleep that she laid on her bed and cried for hours.
They tried to comfort her, of course. Night saying that it wasn't her fault, that it happened sometimes during pregnancies. Her parents also told her that these things were out of their control. Trying to tell her that something might have gone wrong with the baby and nature had just tried to correct it. They tried to help her feel better.
But Velvet didn't want to feel better.
She tried not to think about it after a while. She tried to focus her attention on her son, but the loss lingered, following her like a shadow.
Then she learned about what today was supposed to be about and decided to give it a shot. After all, it couldn't be worse than what she had already been through.
She didn't tell her family, she didn't want to ruin their day and she needed to do this peace.
She found, to her surprise, that it actually helped the pain go away, if only a little bit at a time.
As the years passed, she found that is she could gather and release her pain today, at this moment, she felt just a little bit better afterwards and for the next year afterwards. Eventually, she and Night stopped openly talking about it, choosing to focus on the son they had instead of the one that couldn't be. She never told him about it, and he didn't ask questions, he was just relieved his wife was finally starting to recover.
Then she discovered she was carrying another baby, and all her old fears came back. Night and her parents kept telling her it would be different this time, but that didn't stop her from worrying. What if she lost this one too? She didn't think she could handle that. Would this child just be a replacement for the one she had lost? Would she grow to resent it if it was born?
Against all her fears and worries, the entire pregnancy went smoothly; it had even been easier than when she was carrying Shining Armor! Even the doctor was amazed by how easy it was going. They soon learned it was a girl this time, but fear kept nagging at Velvet throughout the whole thing.
It finally disappeared when they placed the tiny, purple, gurgling newborn in her arms and she felt the loss vanished as it was replaced by love and joy.
A 'rainbow baby' the doctor called her, and it fit perfectly. She was the rainbow that came after the storm, a spot of hope and wonder right after darkness and gloom. She brought the life right back into her family's home, replacing the sadness and depression from before.
But she could never forget the one that came before her.
After all, a mother never forgets.
As the mother continued her thoughts, two familiar figures watched her from the upstairs window, as they did every year.
"...Do you think she'll ever ask us to join her?" Twilight asked her father, both still clad in their pjs.
Night Light just sighed. "Who knows, but for now this is something your mother needs to do on her own." He repeated this line when she asked every year, and he knew he would repeat it again when his son would call and ask him about it later. "It was....a hard time for us, especially for her. Losing a baby, especially in a later trimester, is never easy."
Twilight just nodded briefly and went into deep thought for a moment. Night smiled, it was same thinking face her mother had when trying to come up with story ideas.
"Is that why you hardly ever talk about him?"
"Well...there's not much to talk about. Things like these are just a part of life, and you just have to find a way to move on, you know? Today gives her and many others a way help them do that."
Twilight thought hard for a moment before building up the courage to ask: "Are you ever sorry I was born instead of him?"
Night, shocked by such as question, blinked and turned to his daughter. "What?"
Twilight's face was impossible to read, as she kept looking straight out the window while addressing him. "Do you and mom....or maybe even Shining Armor....ever wish he had been born instead of me? So you could have a normal child with a normal life instead of the weird and crazy one you got with me?"
Night didn't hesitate before pulling her into a hug.
"Now you listen." He said sternly. "Don't ever think that we would wish you were never born for even a second. Yes we're sorry about your brother, but we wouldn't trade you for anything. You have been one of the greatest things that has ever happened to us. We love you so much and I hope you never forget that."
Twilight smiled and hugged her father back. "Thanks dad. I won't forget."
Night nodded. "Good. Now let's get back to bed, it's early and your mother is starting to pack up. She needs this time to herself, you know?"
Twilight agreed and the two quickly went back to their rooms to rest up for the day ahead with the woman they both loved dearly, and who loved them with all her heart.
Author's Note
November 1st is Dia De Los Angelitos, or Day of the Little Angels, is a holiday honoring all the children (born or not) who are no longer with us. It is actually the second day of Day of the dead following Halloween. I'm not Latin or have ever been to a Latin country, so I didn't grow up celebrating the first 2 days of November, but these are interesting and important holidays to know about, especially in Mexico and other Latin countries.
'Rainbow Baby' is the term for a child born right after a miscarriage or stillbirth.
I tried to combine aspects from a wiccan alter and an ofrenda in this.
This was meant to come out after School of Horrors was finished, but I got the idea in my head earlier and it all just...spilled out you know? Then Mother's Day came around and I figured, why not?
Happy Mother's Day
....Also I know it's nowhere near November when I post this, but I've got my own schedule to keep.
