The Misadventures of a Fox

“Soooo…. Have any ideas?” The bright red lizard asked the prismatic pegasus.

“Not really.” Dash pouted as she flew next to him. The pair had been simply wandering Pontville while the mare tried to come up with an idea. It really wasn’t a good sign in her mind that she couldn’t think of something about Dustin that wasn’t on the shallow side.

“Mmmmrrrrr…. Ah! Think!” Dash snapped aloud.

“I don’t think shouting think helps you think.” Guilmon pointed out.

“You’re not helping!” Dash snapped in a small bit of panic. “So! So. Sooo… What did we talk about?”

Guilmon shrugged. “I was to distracted with tea and my marefriend. Though Pinkie wasn’t helping.” Dash swore his cheeks got redder.

“Why is that okay with you two, and not okay with Dustin and I?” Dash pouted a little.

“Because we took time to get to know each other before anything remotely close to sex happened. Yes, Pinks was pretty thirsty from time to time, but she knew how to keep herself in check. You honestly may want to talk to her about it sometime.” Guilmon said with a smile. “Though, I believe in you. You kinda did things backwards and that spiraled in a bad way, but that’s why you’re starting over!” The lizard grinned toothily. “Now! Think of anything?”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, but no.” Dash frowned with a sigh. “We… hmmmm… We talked about his mine… and Geralt… and-” She blinked then gasped aloud. “POKEMON!”

“Pokemans?” Guilmon raised a scaly brow.

“YES!” She thrust a hoof at the lizard. “He loves Pokemon doesn’t he?! Awesome!” She grinned happily. Then, just as quickly, deflated. “How’m I going to find out about Pokemon?” She looked over at him. “You wouldn’t happen to know anything, would you?”

Guilmon shrugged. “Only that in my household the only moves you use are attack moves and that Incineroar is an absolute monster.”

“I have no idea what any of that means.”

“Hey!” A voice called out.

The pair looked over to see Scootaloo rolling towards them on her scooter.

“Hey squirt.” Dash smiled, genuinely happy to see the little tatzlsus. “Why aren’t you in school?”

“School/Thchool got damaged.” Both Scootaloo and Guilmon said in unison.

“Again.” Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “I wath bored at home, Apple Bloom hath farm work to help with and Thweetie’s… thomewhere. I think thhe’s doing thomething with her parentth.”

“Wait, that actually happens?” Rainbow blinked. “I swore Dustin and Rarity were like her surrogate parents or something because they leave all the time for vacations and stuff.”

“Think that’th cooled down a bit thince you’ve been taking up tho much of Duthtin’th time.” Scootaloo shrugged.

Dash winced. “Ow… Yeah… I kinda messed a lot of stuff up, haven’t I?”

“Not gonna lie, yeah.” Scootaloo nodded. “But I thtill love you Dath. You jutht have thome ithueth you need to work on.”

“Awww.” Dash flushed a little, then walked over and hugged the tatztlfilly. “Thanks squirt.”

“Who knowth, you might need therapy to figure out where thith thudden thex drive came from.” Scootaloo smiled at her.

“Thanks squirt.” Dash said, her voice slightly more strained.

“Hey, we’re trying to help Dash here.” Guilmon poked the filly.

“I am helping.” The filly replied, having a tendril come out of her maw to poke the lizard’s flub.

“Well, what would really help, is if somebody besides Dustin knew something about Pokemon.” Dash groaned, throwing a foreleg over her eyes.

“You mean like Ivy?” Scootaloo asked.

Dash froze, then slowly dropped her foreleg. “What was that?”

“Ivy knowth about Pokemon.” Scootaloo said nonchalantly.

“Squirt you’re a genius!” Dash squeezed the filly. Then let go to turn to Guilmon. “So! Let’s go… talk… to…” Her face fell with every word. “Ivy…. Ivy fucking hates me.”

“Dash, please try to not swear in front of Scoots.” Guilmon sighed.

“Dad, It’th fine. Ivy doeth fucking hate Rainbow.” Scootaloo admitted with a shrug.

“Scoots! Please try not to swear.” Guilmon groaned.

“I talk about your thex life and thwearing ith too far?” The filly raised a brow.

Guilmon too a breath in and raised a claw, clearly about to berate his daughter. The he paused. His face screwed up in thought and he let his claw drop.

“Thought tho.” Scootaloo nodded smugly.

“Guys. As great an idea as Ivy is, how do I talk to her without her trying to kill me?” Rainbow said, clearly exasperated.

“Well, you could try begging.” Scootaloo shrugged.

Guilmon gestured a claw. “Come on, we can come up with something on the way to Vinyl and Octavia’s.”

Dash stared at the door, chewing on her lip.

“Nothing ith gonna happen if you jutht thtand there.” Scootaloo pointed out. “You could knock.”

“I’m going to.” Dash replied, staring back at the filly.

“Or you could just come in, you know.” Octavia’s melodic voice called from beyond the door.

“Gah!” Rainbow jumped with a heavy blush. “You knew I was here?”

“Please, Dash, like I’m not going to see the giant red lizard, a brightly colored pegasus, and a tatzlfilly outside my own house.” Octavia sighed. “Please, come in.”

Dash tentatively opened the door and trotted inside, followed by Scootaloo and Guilmon. The three walked into the living room to see Octavia having tea.

“There you are.” She smiled then glared at Dash. “Now I’ve heard some recent news. You’re trying to be better after… well… everything.” She raised a brow. “Now, again with everything that’s happened recently, why exactly are you here?”

“I…. need Ivy’s help.” Dash said weakly.

“You need Ivy’s help?” Octavia’s frown deepened. “Haven’t you done enough to the poor girl?”

“Yes.” Dash said looking down at the ground. “But I need her help. I need to find out about Pokemon.”

“Pokemon?” Octavia blinked. “Why?”

“Because Dustin likes it and I want to know why.” Rainbow said weakly. “I want to be interested in something he’s interested in.”

“You do, do you?” The deadpan voice of Ivy made Dash jump.

Dash turned around to see the not too happy plant digimon, glaring at her through half-lidded eyes. The fact that her eyes were solid green made it all the eerier.

“Yes.” Dash nodded slowly. “Yes I do. And… I’m sorry Ivy. I’m sorry for being a shitty mare who butted into everything.”

Ivy didn’t say anything for a moment. She didn’t even blink. Then she took a breath. “It’ll do, I guess.” She shook her head. “So, what do you want to know?”

“Well, what is it? What’s it about?” Dash asked.

“Guilmon, Scootaloo, would you like some tea?” Octavia asked, passing the prismatic mare.

“Sounds nice.” Guilmon followed her towards the kitchen.

“You got cookieth?” Scootaloo asked following her father.

“Scoots.” Guilmon groaned.

“It’s fine.” Octavia giggled. “Yes, we do. Geralt has a thing for sweets it seems. Then again, so does Vinyl.”

Rainbow watched the three leave. Ivy clearing her throat snapped her back to the plant. Ivy gestured to the couch. “Sit. I’ll be right back.”

Ivy turned around and headed down the hallway that she had probably come from in the first place. Dash, taking a moment to watch her go, trotted over to sit on the couch. Awkwardly she looked around the room. It seemed like a mishmash of different tastes. A record player was in the corner with what appeared to be vinyls of classical music. Right next to it was a small DJ set up and mixing station.The coffee table in front of the couch had various magazines and newspaper clippings. Both Vinyl and Octavia seemed to feature prominently on them. Though the Ponyville Gazette did show a picture of Geralt and Guilmon on the front cover. Near the front window there were a few plants that seemed to be doing very well.

“Scoot.” Ivy suddenly being next to Dash made her jump.

Dash immediately scooted over so the plant could clamber onto the couch. She was holding the 3DS that Dustin had given her and she’d put on a necklace that had some kind of charm hanging off it. Ivy flicked open the 3DS and tapped at the lower screen. Dash leaned in to see what she was doing. Ivy turned her head and gave her a look. “Oi.” Dash blinked at the irritated plant. “Personal space. Back up.” Dash blushed a bit and leaned away. “Better.” Ivy returned to the screen. “So… Here.” Ivy handed over the 3DS.

Dash, not expecting that, fumbled for a moment before steadying it. Noting the controls, she stared from her hooves to the 3DS. “Ummmm….”

“Use your wings, genius.” Ivy sighed with a small grumble.

“Right….” Dash opened her wings and shifted the 3DS to her primaries. She stared at the screen. Who are you? Popped up on the screen showing a picture of what clearly were a male and a female human.

“You hit Save and I kill you.” Ivy said icily. “Now… Playing a chick or a guy?”

Dustin led his pink escort to the Ponyville park, a place that was normally peaceful. Except on Tuesdays, but this wasn’t one, so he was fine. He pulled up a nice piece of real estate under a big tree and sighed. “Aaaah...a peaceful day,” he smiled, relaxing for a moment.

“Yepperoonies.” Pinkie said, sitting next to him. “You don’t seem very stressed about this at all.”

“Well I’m pretty sure, as one of Dash’s friends, you’ll be able to answer my question,” Dustin said, idly petting the pink pone. “So...what are the Wonderbolts, and why does Dash want to join them?”

“Welllll……” Pinkie began tapping her chin in thought. “They’re stunt fliers. Really talented ones. Like the best in the business. I think they’re kinda as-needed air support in the military too. But since there hasn’t been all that much combat stuffs, the armed-forces haven’t needed to be fully assembled. And so the Wonderbolts are just semi-military stunt fliers.”

“Huh,” Dustin mused, still petting Pinkie’s mane. How much was there? “Analogous to something I used to live next to. We had stunt fliers back on earth that could go the speed of sound, flying in formations half a dozen strong overhead. They were called the-” he snerked at the idea before telling it to Pinkie anyways. “The Blue Angels.”

“Ooooooo!” Pinkie oo’ed. She paused mid-oo. “Huh. The Wonderbolts wear blue uniforms too.”

“That wasn’t the connection I was making,” Dustin replied. “Whaddya think Dash’s first response to the idea of there being a stunt team named the Blue Angels will be, if I just up and told her right now?”

“Eh…. Honestly?” Pinkie actually looked unsure.

“Yeah, moving on,” Dustin shook his head. “So, Dash has been trying to get into the Wonderbolts,” he put them back on track. “So I take it she’s a pretty talented stunt flier then. How many tricks has she come up with to try and impress them?”

“Forty? I want to say forty but I actually can’t remember off the top of my head.” Pinkie admitted. “I make lists for things like this.” She smiled sheepishly. “Lists help with a lot of my work and-” She blinked. “Lists! We could go see Twilight! She probably could tell you everything about the Wonderbolts! And even if she couldn’t, she’s in a library! She no doubt has books and books on the Wonderbolts!” She bounced around in circles, happy at her spark of genius.

“Okay, so, plan is to go visit Twilight to learn more about the ‘bolts,” Dustin noted out loud. “Do you think you can trust me to get there while you look through your lists for information on Dash’s tricktionary?”

“One sec.” She walked around the tree, leaving Dustin’s eyesight for a moment then came around the other side holding a three-ring binder. “No worries, I got it.”

Dustin opened his mouth and raised a finger to argue. He considered it for a moment, before shaking his head and closing his mouth. “Nope,” he told himself. “Not worth it.” He pushed himself up to his feet and brushed off a leaf that had landed on him. “Let’s visit the nerdicorn,” he proclaimed. “Find out something about the stunt team without asking Dash.”

“I was wrong! Sixty-five stunts! Though quite a few are just variants or fusions of some of her earlier stuff.” Pinkie said aloud, staring at the binder, while somehow weaving around ponies as they neared the library. “If we’re going by actual stunts… I’d say maybe thirty.”

“Interesting,” Dustin admitted. “There are only so many things that you can do at high speeds to make it more interesting. It’s amazing she found so many things to do, though I suppose weather manipulation would add a certain edge to aerial stunts.”

“True. Though I don’t know if she’s actually used much weather manipulation in her stunts already.” Pinkie hurriedly flipped through the binder. “Nope, actually she hasn’t. That’s something you could suggest. Unless it’s dangerous.” She hummed and looked over at Dustin. “Though, if it’s dangerous then she’d probably want to try it anywa-” Pinkie slammed snoot first into the front door of the library.

There was a pause, the door opened to reveal Spike. He stared at Pinkie, then to Dustin. “Hey. You knocked?”

“With my face.” Pinkie rubbed the end of her snoot.

“Why’d you knock with your face?” Spike raised a brow.

“I was distracted.” Pinkie shook herself as she got to her hooves and retrieved the binder.

“Kay… Can I help you?” Spike asked.

“Is Twilight in?” Dustin asked. “I get that this is a public library and all, but we have questions for her.”

“Yeah. She’s finishing lunch, but she wouldn’t mind.” Spike just turned around, leaving the door open.

“Thanks,” Dustin said, heading inside, being careful enough to duck his head. He quickly pulled up a seat in the library while waiting for Twilight to show up.

“Tall fox. Tall fox.” Pinkie sing-singed as she bounced inside, shutting the door with her tail.

Twilight poked her head out of a curtain, she was still chewing something. “Shpike, I was eating lunch.” She whined.

“And this is still a public library.” Spike pointed out, hefting a small box of books. “They can wait. I don’t think they’re on that much of a time crunch.”

Twilight frowned, her cheeks puffed up with food half-chewed. She gave a snort then retreated beyond the curtain.

Dustin rolled his eyes and reached a hand out to pluck the binder from Pinkie. “Might as well read up on what Dash’s done while we wait,” he mused.

“It’s a free country.” Spike said with a shrug, then he paused. “For the most part.” Then he waddled around reshelving books.

Pinkie as situated herself in a little corner cubby, reading a stack of something she found. Though she had a blush on her cheeks.

“Getting ideas?” Spike asked as he passed her.

“Yesss.” Pinkie said slowly.

“Huh,” Dustin was flipping through the tricks after reading their descriptions, barely giving the pictures any glances. “Yeah I can think of a few she might want to add,” he admitted. “She seems to go for pure speed and flashiness. If she’s the best weather mare around, she should incorporate that as well. Maybe set up a mock terrible weather system ahead of time and have her clear it as fast as she can for an opener.”

“That’s not a bad idea.” Twilight spoke up as she came out of what he assumed was the kitchen. There were a few bread crumbs on her chest fluff, but nothing else too distracting. “How can I help you? Oh, and how are you doing? Can I help you find anything?” She seemed to be in a particularly helpful mood.

“Rarity has assigned me and Dash homework, trying to get to know one another better without actually asking it of each other,” Dustin said. “I brought the topic up with Pinkie, who suggested I bring it up with you, seeing as how you live in a library and are likely more educated about the matter than she was.” He closed the binder and set it on the table, looking at Twilight fully. “So...what’s so impressive about the Wonderbolts that Dash wants to join them this badly?” he questioned the librarian, eyes flicking to the binder for emphasis.

Twilight’s eyes lit up. She took a deep breath in.

“You’re gonna be here awhile.” Spike commented as he passed the fox.

“Wait wait, Dark is weak to what again?” Rainbow frowned. “What are the rules again?”

“Bug and Fighting.” Ivy rattled off as the pegasus tapped away at the small system. “Immune to psychic types.”

“Awwww! I don’t have a bug or a fighting types!” Dash whined.

“I told you when you were in the forest but no, you didn’t want the puny looking caterpillar.” Ivy said, clearly over-exaggerating.

“It looked weak.” Dash grumbled.

“Do I look weak?” Ivy raised a brow.

Dash looked over at the plant, paling slightly. “No…”

“There you go.” She gestured a leaf-arm.

“And why are you having me switch out this useless fish again?” Dash pointed a primary at the red fish on screen.

“You’ll see. Now. Can you repeat what I said earlier?” Ivy asked.

Dash groaned. “Don’t be a gen wunner. Every game has it’s good and bad points. Never use the masterball. Quick, dusk, and timer balls are king.” She listed somewhat deadpan.

“And?” Ivy asked.

“Have fun with your favorite types.” Dash replied. “I don’t have a favorite type yet though. I mean Lucario looks cool, but I seem to one shot each one that shows up.” She clearly didn’t want to show that she was having too much fun. “Though…. Braivary looks kinda cool.”

“Well you’re getting into it at least.” Ivy sighed.

“Wait! What’s happening?!” Dash gasped, pointing at the screen with a primary. “Magikarp is evolving?! You didn’t tell me it evolves! What in Celestia’s name is that!?”

“That is a Gyarados.” Ivy actually smiled.

“It wants to learn HYPER BEAM?!” Dash gaped.

“Power can hide in even the weakest looking things.” Ivy nodded sagely.

“Hey Dath, how goeth it?” Scootaloo asked hopping up next to the mare.

“I got a fucking sea serpent!” Dash showed the filly excitedly.

“You did.” Scootaloo nodded. “You did get a fucking thea therpent.”

“Dash, what did you learn?” Guilmon asked as he plodded in himself.

“Pokemon is awesome!” She once again proudly showed off her Gyarados.

“It sure is.” Guilmon nodded. “I never could get into breeding for traits and IV’s though.”

“Wait. What are IV’s? Are those important?” Dash blinked.

“We should probably go.” Guilmon said as Scootaloo hopped off the couch.

“Awwww!” Dash wilted and very hesitantly gave the 3DS back to Ivy. She again noticed Ivy’s charm. “Hey Ivy, I've been meaning to ask, what’s with that necklace?” She pointed a hoof at it.

Ivy seemed to flinch and she grabbed the charm to hold it. “It’s a Shiny Charm. In the game it makes Shiny Pokemon appear more often. It’s really hard to get.” She frowned and blushed a bit. “Dustin gave it to me.”

“Oh….” Dash wilted a bit. “And, what’s a Shiny Pokemon.”

“They’re a Pokemon with a unique color scheme compared to any regular version of the Pokemon.” Ivy explained, still looking a little hurt.

“I see…” Dash nodded as she got up. “Well thanks Ivy. Thanks a lot.” She nodded. “I don’t think I could’ve learned this much without you.”

“Well… You’re welcome, I guess.” Ivy got up herself and picked up the 3DS. “It was… kinda fun sharing it… Now, I’m just gonna go because I don’t want this to be any more awkward. Tell Dustin hi for me.” With that she plodded off back down the hallway.

“Thanks.” Dash said one last time before turning to head towards the door. “Thanks for letting me in Octavia.” She said to the mare in the kitchen doorway.

“Thanks for not provoking her.” Octavia said with a small frown, then she smiled at Scootaloo and Guilmon. “I hope you enjoyed the tea.”

“Yep.” Guilmon nodded and opened the door to let the others out.

Dash didn’t hear any other conversation as she left, she was too focused on her thoughts.

“And to conclude, for the last century, they've been an inspirational force for young fliers everywhere, which is why they host the Young Flier's competition in Cloudsdale.” Twilight finished, setting her pointer down on the bottom of the easel that contained a bullet-pointed history of the Wonderbolts. “Any questions?”

Dustin’s eyes had been open at some point. He was certain of that. He had a brain between his ears. But now there was just a...Twi-load of history in his head instead, taking up everything that had been there beforehand. The poor Renamon had been burned out on the idea of ever asking Twilight anything about history ever again. A faint wisp escaped his mouth; his soul escaping his body, he was certain, in an effort to escape.

“Twi...I think you killed him.” Spike said bluntly.

“Oh, he’s fine!” Twilight gave the small dragon sitting on the couch a glare.

“You could’ve directed him to some books.” Spike pointed out.

“But he asked.” Twilight pouted. “I just had to tell him.”

Pinkie chimed in. “I’m all for some sexytime stuff when the moods right, but he didn't need to hear about Wonder Bolt's conception!”

“I had to be as thorough as possible!” Twilight puffed her chest out. “He was doing research and it was best to start from the beginning!”

Spike walked across the couch and poked Dustin. “Yo. You alive?”

“Kill...me…” Dustin grunted. “End my suffering.”

“He’s alive.” Spike announced.

“Yay!” Pinkie cheered. “Life!”

“Oh, ha ha.” Twilight rolled her eyes.

“Spiiiiike,” Dustin groaned. “Get me. Coffee. I need one.”

“Gotcha.” Spike hopped off the couch. “How strong?”

“Strong,” Dustin intoned. “There should be a ring of accretion around it because it should be blacker than a black hole.”

“Okay, one Spent all night reading coming up.” Spike waddled off to the kitchen.

Twilight sighed. “Want me to just give you a book?”

“I think I have three of them jammed between my ears now,” the Renamon replied dryly.

“In case you forget.” Twilight deadpanned.

“Twilight, you gave such vivid details I think I’ll have the Wonderbolt’s history flash before my eyes when I die,” Dustin pointed out.

“I think he’s good Twilight.” Pinkie called out.

Spike strolled in with a cup that looked like it was filled with bubbling black tar. “Present for ya.” He held it out to the fox.

“Oh good,” Dustin sighed, picking up the cup. “Cheers,” he said, raising the cup to the room at large, before starting to down the whole thing at once.

“Mmph.” Spike nodded and crawled back up onto the couch.

“Are… Are you okay? That looked like it was boiling.” Twilight winced.

Dustin put the empty cup down on the table and sighed. “The trick is to not let it touch your tongue,” he stage whispered. “Then I can trick the rest of my body into keeping it down. I don’t drink it for the taste or temperature, just the caffeine.”

“That…. That… Doesn’t sound good for you?” Twilight looked at him, noticeably concerned.

“I’ve had times like that. He’ll be fine.” Pinkie called from her cubby. “Though we might need to go in a bit here.”

“Yeah, didn’t Rarity say she wanted us to meet up and share what we learned?” Dustin agreed.

“Yeppers.” Pinkie bounced out from her cubby. “That was the plan.”

“I hope this was all informative.” Twilight smiled. “Actually this whole thing sounds like a great letter to the princess!”

“Oh don’t worry. I’ve been keeping tabs on the whole thing Twilight. Lilly knows.” Spike smirked a little. “She was kinda pissed at first but I think she calmed down when Gilda came back. So far she just wants to hear how everything goes. So long as there’s no backsliding, everything's cool.”

“Sounds...good?” Dustin posed. He stretched and got up from the couch, pausing only to make sure Pinkie was following. “Okay Pinkster, lead me to where the meetup is going to happen.”

“Can do!” Pinkie bounced in from to him and pointed to the door with a hoof. “To!-” She paused and looked at Dustin, then looked back to the door. “Where we’re supposed to go!”

“...If you tell me you don’t actually know, I’m going to have Twilight give you a lecture on the history of parties,” the Renamon threatened.

“I have.” Twilight deadpanned. “Twice.”

“Now Dustin…. Don’t be mad but….” Pinkie smiled weakly at him.

“...New plan,” the Renamon said, plopping Pinkie in a chair and smiling at Twilight. “How about something boring, like, I don’t know...pick your favorite spellcaster and just go to town.”

“Oh, the history and spells of Starswirl the Bearded.” Twilight cooed.

“Oof, that one would be awhile.” Spike chuckled.

“Please no, I can remember! Honest!” Pinkie said, her eyes going wide.

“So Twilight, why don’t you tell us all about him~” Dustin smirked wider.

“Well…” Twilight took a breath in. “About a thousand years ago-”