The Misadventures of a Fox

“So, how’d you manage to get out of that one?” Geralt asked as he leaned against a tree at the Apple’s orchard. The sound of Big Mac bucking apples echoed in the distance.

“Apparently, Renamon can ninja teleport,” Dustin said dryly as he refused to come down out of the tree he was in. Cats were the ones that climbed trees after all, and he had no problem with them. “Something that would have been nice to know earlier before I did it on autopilot.”

“Huh. No shit.” Geralt blinked and uncrossed his arms as his brows rose. “Think you could do it again?”

“Maybe? I don’t know,” the fox admitted. “It might be like Diamond Storm after I used it enough to where it became a reflex. Then again, it might only be a panic situation thing. You tell me, I have no clue how this body is supposed to work.”

“Mmmm hmmm.” Geralt appeared to be thinking, and that tended to not be a good thing, especially for the fox. He pushed away from the tree, and rolled his neck and shoulders, making a few audible pops. “Right. So here’s what's going to happen. We are going to train.”

“You mean like we do every day?” Dustin noted out loud. “I thought I was finally ‘progressing well enough’, according to you.”

“Nah ah.” He shook his head. “This won’t be normal training. I am going to chase you, until You can do that teleport thing on command. ‘And then’ after that, we are going to train that until you can do that ten times without being touched.”

“Huh. Well, seeing what Tuesday is like around here, I can see the merits in being able to teleport,” the fox admitted, hanging down from a branch...by his knees, making him look ridiculous as he hung there. “Plus figuring out the limits of such an ability might be fun too. Will I be able to take someone else, how much weight can I carry…”

“And now you’re thinking with portals.” Geralt nodded with a grin. “So this might take a bit to prepare….” He hummed scratching his chin. “And tomorrow’s Thursday…. Yeah, I think I can get this ready tomorrow.” His grin widened. “Okay. Okay, okay, okay. Meet me by City Hall tomorrow at noon. Oh, and make sure to get a good night’s sleep.”

A good night’s sleep had not helped matters for the fox.

He’d still gotten it of course, resting as far away from the mine as he possibly could. He just knew, though, in the pit of his stomach, that any ‘new’ training Geralt had come up with was not going to be fun.

Geralt arrived with little fanfare. He was even carrying a mug of something steaming (probably coffee, knowing him). “Morning!” He waved happily. “Or, afternoon rather.”

“You know, catching me without spilling your coffee is a tall order,” Dustin pointed out languidly.

“Who said I’d be the one chasing you?” He asked with a quirked brow and a draw from his mug.
From the alleyways, they came.

“Oh hell no!” Dustin shouted, using his speed to jump straight up in the air, landing on the roof of town hall. Well...he grabbed the edge of it and scrambled up the rest of the way.

Geralt whistled loudly. “Alright ladies, there’s your target.” He pointed at the madly scrambling fox. “‘Ave at ‘im!”

“Are you out of your gourd?!” Dustin shouted once he was safe enough. “They’re the reason I teleported in the first place!”

“Exactly!” Geralt called out as the Diamond Dog bitches raced by him. Where were they going? He was on the roof...wait. That was the sound of climbing. Did they have a ladder?

There was a thud as a few of the bitches steadied said ladder against the roof. Immediately there was a scramble to be the first one up. They were their own worst enemy. Geralt looked… Less than pleased.

“Wow, teamwork in all things except when it comes to me,” Dustin deadpanned. “I don’t know whether I should feel flattered or insulted.” He gracefully hopped down, tucked and rolled, and casually strolled away while the dogs were fighting over who should be the first up there.

Geralt frowned and tapped his foot as he watched the fox walk off. “AHEM!” All the bitches froze and turned towards him. He simply pointed.

“Exit, stage left,” Dustin whispered, before running as fast as his legs could take him. Right through the Market. Lots of confusing smells there for them to lose his scent.

It was still weird how he knew that now.

A virtual Deathball of bitches tore through the market, causing Geralt to wince. “Shit… Imma need to pay for all that….”

Eventually, a panting, sweaty Dustin managed to make his way to somewhere approaching safety. This far into the Acres, it was bordering the Everfree. They would run out of steam by the time they found him. If they found him. Still...no reason to make it easy on them. He jumped up and landed safely in the branches of a sturdy apple tree, trying to recuperate his energy.

“Where’d he go?!”

“He’s around here somewhere!”

“I smell apples.”

“Yes, I know Garnet. We’re in an apple orchard.”

“Apples are good.”

“That they are Garnet. Now, have you seen Dustin?”

“No.”

“What in Sam Hell is goin’ on?!”

“Hey AJ. Training. Though we lost Dustin.”

“And you brought them, why?”

“They’re part of the training.”

“Mmmm Hmmm... Get out.”

“But-”

“Git!”

There was the sound of spooked doggo’s and a mad rush of retreating paws. Dustin smiled and relaxed, ready to take a nap in the tree he was in. Maybe he could rest before he had to sneak back to the boutique for dinner.

“Hey! That meant you too! Out! You can’t hide from me! I catch Rainbow in my trees all the time. Git!”

The fox sighed and lowered himself to the ground, brushing some leaves out his fur as he gave the orange mare the blankest glare he could muster. “Can I at least hide here for ten minutes so they might lose the trail?” he asked.

Applejack frowned then sighed. “Fine. But just ten minutes!” She thrust a hoof at him. “We have to harvest this section and I don’t want to catch you in here when we do.”

“You’re a saint,” the fox said in such a deadpan voice that it could have been mistaken for praise. “Well, I need to figure out where I can hide then, as going into the Everfree is asking to die.”

“Eeyup.” Applejack nodded as she turned and flicked her tail in irritation. “Not my problem though.”

Dustin rolled his eyes as he started to walk. Hmm...wasn’t there another forest around here? No, wait, White Tail was way too close to the mines.

...Would he be penalized if he hitched a ride on a train out of town? Probably.

Waaaaait. Idea.

And that was how the bitches found Dustin in the middle of Ponyville lake, floating in an innertube.

Dogs hated baths. This was sure to be as safe as possible.

Geralt groaned loudly. “That’s cheating!”

“You spring a surprise on me, I will find a way out of it,” Dustin languidly replied. “Maybe teach them how to swim if you want to keep this cat and mouse game going.”

Geralt looked around at the very nervous looking group of bitches, then looked at the floating fox. “Fine! We can finish this later. Though that might mean that it turns into ‘surprise training.’”

“All you’re doing is teaching me the fastest route to my new safe spot,” Dustin pointed out. “I mean, if you taught them trapping and ambush tactics, it might be a chall...enge…”

Geralt’s brow furrowed. “Thank you! You’ve given me ideas. Enjoy your floating, we’ll continue this later.”

“And that’s why I’m hiding with you now,” Dustin said to Ivy as he lay on the couch in Vinyl and Octavia’s house. His reasoning at the time was ‘it was the place Geralt would least expect.’ “I’ve had enough for one day.”

“Wait… He’s sending what after you?” There was a twitch in Ivy’s right eye.

“He, uh...might’ve gathered up all the bitches from the mine that are obsessed with me for some reason or another and told them that catching me was ‘training’ until I learned to teleport on demand,” Dustin summarized. “When they’re the reason I know how to teleport in the first place. When they caught me and were about to...do things to me in the mine.”

“They were going to WHAT?!” Ivy snapped. She actually started steaming. Dustin suddenly had his self preservation instincts kick in...and found himself on the roof of the house.

Oh. Well that was the second time he teleported.

“Hey! Dustin!” Rainbow Dash flew down to him. “Did you just teleport?”

“Yes, and I advise you take cover, because-” the fox managed to get out.

The door of the house below him burst open. At the same time Geralt froze as his eyes locked on the fox.

“GERALT!” Ivy screamed as viney tentacles burst from the doorway.

Geralt shrieked in a very unmanly way.

And suddenly he was next to the fox. He blinked and slowly turned to look at Dustin. He shakilly raised a finger to his lips and shook his head.

Then there was a snerk.

Both slowly turned to look at Rainbow trying not to laugh. Geralt shook his head violently.

Rainbow grinned evilly. She took a deep breath in. “HEY YOU CAN TELEPORT TOO? AWESOME!”

“Rainbow you bi-”

“GERALT!”

Dustin watched the big canine digimon run his ass off from the plant tentacle monster that Ivy had become, smiling widely. “Y’know Dash, you just might be my favorite pony after that stunt,” he commented idly.

“I know, I’m awesome.” She puffed out her chest. “Now, how are you going to pay me back?”

“Dinner and a movie?” Dustin suggested. “I hear there’s a good one playing at the theatre.”

“I’m down.” Rainbow nodded approvingly then grew a shit-eating grin. “But what will all the mares after you think?”

“...Clearly I need to be updated on the local gossip, if you’re telling me about mares after me,” the fox noted out loud. He shimmied over to the edge of the roof, gauged the distance to the ground, then pushed himself off. The moment he impacted the earth, the fox tucked and rolled, ending up standing up and brushing a few blades of grass off. “C’mon, I hear there’s a great place in town that doesn’t have too much hay on it’s menu. I might be able to stomach an appetizer there while I pay you back.”

“Sounds good.” Rainbow flew down to hover at shoulder level. “Now, I’m no Rarity, but here’s what’s been going around town…”