Equestria Meets Artemis Fowl

by nicojaller

Rating: everyone
Tags: Adventure, Crossover, Main 6, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 4111

Equestria meets the worlds most famous Irish boy genius. Can Equestria handle these new strangers ? How can Artemis Fowl II make a profit out of this ? Will Holly stop hugging them ? Will Butler ever stop being uncomfortable with this ?

Artemis Fowl life has been kinda crazy in the past few years. Trolls, fairies, elves, demons, a lot of things that could keep him in a azylum for the rest of his life, but this new business may be a whole different level.

At the search of a strange source of magic, him and his friends discovered Equestria, a magical realm full of magical ponies. While a lot of people would probably try to discover this new world or befriend his natives, only one thought comes across the young boy's mind.

- '' How can I make a profit out of this ? ''

Genius business plan
1. Discover new world.
2. Discover it's full of magical ponies.
3. ??????
4. PROFITS !

This story takes place just after Tirek's defeat in MLP and after The Lost Colony in Artemis Fowl.

AN : This story came to be for two reasons. 1 : There are a criminal lack of Artemis Fowl-MLP crossover. 2. It's a bit to celebrate the fact that he is finally getting a movie. Of course by Disney, but it will be cool to finally see my favorite book on the big screen.

Published 2018-04-10 01:10:07 UTC
Last updated 2018-04-10 01:10:07 UTC

Chapter 1

(Fowl's mansion, Dublin, Ireland)

Artemis was sitting in his room, alone as usual as he was counting the pill of money that was presently on his desk. He had just made a couple thousands on his most semi-legal transaction. He had just sold the replica of the painting of a renaissance painter to some collector in France. It had been especially easy to fool him out of his money since the poor fellow couldn't recognize a fake from the real one. Not that the boy could blame him, it was almost a perfect copy. It had costed him quite a bit to have it made, but in the end, he had gained a lot more.

The boy was a sight to behold, despite being so young, he had an intimidating aura to him. His skin was terribly pale, he looked closer to a vampire than to an human being. He was very slender and not very athletic, not really being the one doing the hard work in most of his antics. Another interesting thing about his appearance was his eyes, he had heterochromic eyes. One was his natural blue, the other was hazel that had acquired in his previous adventure.
He started planning mentally his next order of business when he heard somebody knocking on the door. Based on the number on knocks and how loud it sounded. It could only be one person.

'' You may enter, Butler. ''

At that moment, the door opens to reveal a true mountain of a man. He stood almost seven foot tall, his shape would make a Michelangelo statue feel inadequate. Everything about this man was gigantic, either it was his arms, who could snap a bear's neck, or his hands who could only be compared to those of a giant. His head was supported by a tick neck, it would be a real struggle to cut this head off even with the strongest of chainsaw. If you make it this far that is. Butler is one of the deadliest man in the world. A deadly mix of strength, skill and speed. He also knows quite a lot about the human body, perfect to endulge pain in just the right spots. He had been trained in numberous of martial arts, different weapons, in emergency medecine and as a pilot for diverse type of planes. He was also quite a skilled cook. The perfect type of man needed for the job as Artemis Fowl the Second's Bodyguard.

The both of them went through so much together, they were more like brothers in arms even though one was a 15 year old boy (well, technically 18 by the law, but that is a story for another time) and the other was his mid-forty year old bodyguard (physically 60, but once again, very long story). The man stood in the room holding a plate, on which, we could see tea.

'' The tea is ready sir, I would recommend that you put your current project aside for at least a few minutes. ''

Artemis turned his chair around to face his right hand man, he only nods and takes one of the cup of tea and take a little sip.

'' Perfect, it's perfect, just as usual. Thank you Butler. ''

'' By the way, have you spoken with Holly recently ? ''

The young master crossed his leg.

'' No, but it shouldn't be long before we do. ''

His guardian only nodded in understanding. He learned a while ago not to question Artemis plan, however, he will still verify if he isn't doing anything illegal. Semi-legal stuff was alright for now. He knew Artemis was never going to entirely normal, he was on the good track though, so his job right now was to keep it that way.

Downstairs, there was the two new child of the Fowl family. Artemis didn't really bother or even aknowledge their existence that much, he barely knew them. From his point of view, they had just appeared into his life at some point without having time to prepare. He wouldn't be wrong.

Juliet, Butler's little sister was babysitting the kids right now with the help of Artemis parents. It did sting a bit in the eyes of the eldest child to have lost that exclusivity, but he didn't had time to bother on such childish jealousy.
He was sitting at his desk sitting in silence, drinking his tea. He looked at his watch he started a countdown in his head. Butler swears he could hear him whispering.

'' 5...4...3...2..1... ''

The computer screen suddenly opened to reveal a familiar face. It was an Elf. She had a dark nut-like brown skin, auburn hair. Like Artemis, she had heterochromic eyes. One blue, one hazel. She was wearing her LEP uniform, it was the first time he had seen her in it since she rejoined.

If you are unaware of what's going on. Long story short, fairies, elves, dwarves and all your imagination can think of are a thing. They are just hidden beneath the ground in an underground civilisation who's far more advanced than the human one. They goes to great length for it to stay that way for generations. Well, until Artemis Fowl went along. The only human to have outsmarted them, responsable for almost causing their world doom, but also helped saving it several times. So the jury is still on in his case.

'' Hello Artemis, it has been quite a while, I hope I am not interrupting anything. ''

'' No, in fact I was expecting you. ''

She raised an eyebrow for a second, before shaking her head, basically used to this by this point.

'' What do you know. ''

A smirk appears on the face of the teenager, making his bodyguard a bit concerned.

'' Absolutely nothing, I only assumed you would contact me sooner rather than later since it's been quite a while since our last little adventure. You kinda disappoint me Holly, I thought you would know by know that I was bluffing, but based on your reaction, I understand that something really is going. So, Officer Short, what kind of situation asks for my help ? ''
She sighed, and mentally facepalmed. She fell for that like a rookie. She took a huge breather and went on.

'' Yeah, there is something we'd like to show you. ''

(Ponyville, Equestria)

It was over. It was finally over. Friendships were tested and it had been though, but Tirek was no longer a threat. He was back in Tartarus where he belonged. Twilight was now staring at the ceiling of her new room on her new bed, still thinking about the recent events. Even if her new castle was a nice surprise, her library was still gone. It had been the toughest loss she ever suffered in her life.

Every single book in that library had a special meaning to her. They all had their own share of memories. Even though it was nice to have this whole new place to explore. It wouldn't never replace the memories she had in her library.
She was still thinking about this and wondering where she could go from there when she heard someone knocking on the door. She just weakling said.

'' Come in. ''

The doors opens to reveal a small figure. It was Spike, the small purple dragon, Twilight's assistant. He was kinda hesitant to enter.

'' Twily ? Are you okay ? ''

'' I'm fine Spike, it's just... I feel like the recent events are finally starting to wear me down. ''

He enters the room carefully, he then joins her on the bed.

'' I understand I mean, things like Tirek is not really something you can be prepared for, not even you. ''

Twilight shakes her head, feeling tears forming up in the corner of her eyes.

'' It's not just that, there's also this whole alicornhood. What if I'm not good enough ? I can't be the princess of Friendship when I have still so much to learn about it ! Everthing that implies is just so much to take it in. It's the first time I take a time to just think about it all. ''

Then she just started shaking, Spike went up to the bed and climbed on it, sitting next to her.

'' Twilight, you're the Princess of Friendship, Princess Celestia's prized pupil and most of all, you are my best friend. Even though I don't really get this whole thing, heck I don't even know what we'll do with half the room in this new place. But as your assistant, you know I'll always be there if you need any help with what's to come. ''
Then she just cracked, she hugged Spike tightly and cried into his shoulder. He stayed still for a second then hugged her back, letting her cry as much as she needed. After a while she went out of the bed, seemingly more confident than she did a few minutes ago.

'' Thank you Spike, it helped a lot. Now let's get going, because of all this sapiness, we are three minutes late on today's schedule ! ''

She then hurried out of the room, letting Spike, with a smirk on his face.

'' Thank Celestia she's back to her senses, now maybe things will get back to normal. ''

(Police Plaza, Haven City )

Once again, the travel wasn't really memorable, litteraly, both of them will remember nothing of it. It's an insurance that the fairies always took when bringing these humans into their world, knocking them out. They awoke in the middle of the Police center.

Artemis awoke first, not surprised in the very least, and saw the faces of Holly and of someone he wasn't quite familiar with. Trouble Kelp, he was pretty strongly build for someone of his species, had dark hair and purple eyes. He was the new commander of LEPrecon, replacing the old commander Root, who had previously died. Something that had greatly saddened Artemis, which was a rare occurence. Outside of Holly, Root was certainly the fairy Fowl had the biggest respect for.

'' It seems you have been a bit more soft this time Short, my head doesn't hurt as much. ''

'' Oh, you would want me to hit harder next time ? ''

'' No, it's perfectly fine as it is. I need all of my grey matter thank you very much. ''

They waited a few minutes for Butler to wake up as well before starting their business. Artemis found the chair that ended up installing for him and sat on hit, making himself comfortable.

'' So commander, what did you need me for today ? ''

Kelp gulped and looked at Holly, uncertain, she nodded in agreement, giving him the authorisation to go foward. Even if he was the highest ranked of the two, she was the one who was way more experienced with the boy. His mountain of a bodyguard who was staring at him didn't really help the situation either.

'' It would probably be a better thing if you went to see for yourself. ''

They went towards to computer to check it out. On the screen was different circles with words they couldn't really read because it was in elfic. But there all shined differently. Butler raised an eyebrow.

'' What exactly are we looking at right now ? It just seems like bubbles and lights to me. ''
Kelp once again, struggled to find the good words to explain the situation.

'' Remember when Artemis and Holly disappeared into another dimension for three years ? ''
They all nodded, it was though to forget for everyone implicated. When they went to save the demons of that dimension, for them, it had only been a couple of days, but when they managed to go back to their own, it had been three years. For the servant, it had been three horrible years, waiting for his master to return and having to explain to the parents everything. They almost went mad. When Artemis returned, they agreed the best idea was to erase their memory of that.

'' Yeah, kinda hard to forget. ''

'' Well, when they were gone we created this machine as one the solution to bring them back. It's probably one of our most advanced piece of technology yet, thanks to Foaly of course, but don't say to him I said that. Roughly, it traces magic traces in different dimensions, at least to the dimensions who are similar to ours in some way. The trouble with it, is that it can't exactly identify that dimension. So to find exactly where both of you went, we would have to visit each single one of them. For you primitives human, it would be like trying to find a very specific file, but nothing was identified and that you had to search through thousands, if not millions of files. ''

'' Ok, so what are you talking to us about this ? ''

He moved the screen toward a very specific circle, what was peculiar about that one was how bright it was. You lighten up a whole house with that. It wasn't the only thing that was special about it. It was linked with another one, the other circler barely had any light, it only had a faint trace of magic, more like some of the magic of the first one spilled into the other.

'' This circle caught our attention a while ago, we were curious. For a dimension to shine like this, we hypothesised it must essentially composed from magic or at least it must run on it. That's the explanation we came up with. I am sure you have also noticed that strange link between it and the nearest world. But there is one more thing that left us intrigued, it isn't stable, it tends to disappear once in a while and reappear as randomly. ''

'' An artificial link. ''

Commander Kelp towards Artemis who, until this, had stayed silent.

'' What ? ''

'' It's obvious that this is not natural, I'd have to put my money on a transdimensional portal of some sort. If you had included our world in it, I am pretty sure you would have seen the same kind of link with the demon island. Whoever living in that place must have enough knowledge of magic to build this kind of connection, certainly a powerful wizard at the very least. Oh lord, I never thought there would be a point were saying powerful wizard would be considered normal for my brain. ''

Holly Short starting rubbing her temples, funny, seeing this was an habit of Fowl usually.

'' Ok then. I guess you also guessed why you're here then ? You already have planned something haven't you? ''

'' That would be correct, if my assumptions is right and that you want to visit that place, then what did you expect from me ? If you expected any less, your expectations of me are terribly low. ''

'' I wouldn't have make all these effort to bring you both down her if I didn't want to hear what you had to say. So, go ahead. ''

'' I'll try to make it as simple as possible, but the only way I can see to get to this place would be to go through that link. Not directly of course, that would ask for so many other mesures that it would overcomplicate the whole process. The only direct thing we could do is basically hijack it. Could I have a sheet and a pen ? ''

They did gave him that, he started drawing exactly what he wanted. There was three circles, the two being linked and one that was below between the two.

'' That bridge is purely magical, but what I gather from it, it has been manually opened to go from a point to the other, but there's the possibility that no safety has been put on it. The bridge comparison probably wasn't the most accurate, it would probably best be described as a river. The flow of that river can go both ways, but there's absolutely nothing preventing someone from jumping into that river and swimming towards one or the other. ''

As he was talking, he was showing the sheet to the other three and was drawing on it just to show off what he was saying. Butler that was trying to follow the conversation the best he could intervened.

'' But what if they did placed a protection on it ? ''

'' Then it would be more like a tunnel, depending on the strenght of the protection, it could either be as fragile as glass or hard as stone. Not impossible to breach, it would make our job harder, but it's nothing a mix of magic and fairy technology can't fix, right commander ? ''

The commander sighed, he didn't know much about dimension traveling, but he did know quite a bit about the technology available.

'' Well it should be technically possible but... ''

Butler groaned, kinda tired of this lengty conversation.

'' Technically is good enough for us. ''

Holly nodded, she looked at bit too excited for Kelp's taste.

'' Yeah, it's not like something like plausiblity ever stopped us before. If mudboy thinks this is possible, there's no way it can't be done. ''

Kelp, once again, sighed, defeated. He wasn't known to have much authority, even less on a hotheaded officer like Short. When she made up her mind, it was pratically impossible to convice her otherwise. He shakes his head and looked at the smaller human.

'' Okay, I'll have to agree, what do you need ? ''

Then, quite possibly the scariest thing imaginable happened. Artemis smiled.

'' I will need a couple of things. Then we'll get to work. ''

Kelp was already starting to regret this decision.

(Canterlot Castle, Canterlot)

Discord felt a bit awkward. He was sitting in Canterlot with the two princesses, it would have been pretty nice, fun even if not for recent events.

Yeah he did betrayed everyone that trusted him, even if not much. He didn't really felt that bad about them, not as much as the idea that he betrayed Fluttershy. That fact made him hate himself.

It was terribly silent, Discord mainly entertaining himself by making the objects like the forks and spoons come alive and things of that sort, but not with as much enthusiasm as usual. Luna and Celestia looked at him understandably angry. Discord stopped what he was doing and looked at them bored.

'' Could you please say something before I die of boredom ? ''

Luna looked at him, frustrated.

'' What else is there to say ? You are lucky thou are not into stone right now ! ''

'' I won't repeat the whole friendship thing again, I'll be perfectly honest with you two right now. I don't especially care about what happens to you two, you two could get eaten by the Smooze for all I care. ''

He saw that the two were even angrier than they did before, Luna looked like she was ready to blow him into oblivion, standing over the table. He raised one paw.

'' Hear me out, yeah, maybe that I don't especially care for what happens to you or for most of the Elements, but there are some things worth protecting. I may enjoy some gool old chaos, I'm not a bad guy, or stallion, whatever term you prefer. I want the world to be fun, destruction's isn't really my thing. ''

'' That doesn't guarantee you won't try something like ever again. ''

'' Yeah, but isn't that what's your whole Magic of Friendship thing about ? Trust ? It's at least an important part of it. Wait a second. ''

He invokes a document on which it was written << MLP : Friendship is Magic Script >>.

'' Yeah, that's pretty much it. I can't force you to trust me, let alone like me. But, if you trap me into stone, isn't that a proof of failure of your system, if you really believe that much into this. Trapping me again is aknowledging friendship can't fix what it considers to be broken. ''

Celestia was searching for something to answer, but to her ultimate frustration, she couldn't find anything. She was losing that argument and she knew it. She looked at the draconequus, shaking in anger.

'' You may have been forgiven this time Discord, I'll let you go, but if I hear that you even hurt any citizen of Equestria in any way, we will turn you back into stone and send you straight into the depth of Tartarus. ''

'' I can agree to not harm them in a mean-spirited, but you must at least accord me the right to pratice my magic from time to time. ''

Once again, Luna intervened slamming her hooves on the table.

'' Thou are in no position to negotiate ! ''

Discord crosses his arm, then just simply disguise himself into a teacher showing a graphic.

'' But I have no real other option dear, draconequus must pratice their magic, it's more like a pulsion... you see ? If those pulsions aren't released, it could lead to well...unfortunate results. ''

He then made a balloon appear out of thin air, just to make it explode, surprising both princesses. He then returned to normal and sat at the table.

'' Ok, a bit melodramatic, but you get my point. ''

Both of them stayed silent for a few minutes, while Discord entertained himself by animating objects and making random stuff appear to play with. Finally, the Princess of the Sun facehoofed and sighed.

'' Ok fine, just leave us alone for right now, for us to have some time to think about what's to come and for us to go back to our respective duties. ''

The creature of Chaos then grinned before going on his way, that had been a kinda fun encounter in his mind. An opportunity to mess with them was always an opportunity worth taking in his mind. Even though they weren't exactly enemies, they were still terribly entertaining to play with.

Talking about entertainment, the draconequus found a good rock on which to lay on. He did so and made himself comfortable with a bol of popcorn and making a television appear.

'' Let's see what my favorite characters are up too. ''

There was a ton of dimension that were a ton of fun to watch. Some were ruled by some of his own, others were just chaotic naturally, but his favorite was a big mix-bags of so much chaos he had sweared at least some chaos had been spread there, but nope, 100% natural chaos. How he liked them best. He opened the TV and he must say he didn't expected what he was seeing.

After a while, he turned off the TV and made disappear with all his stuff. Leaving only him grinning and laughing. He laughed around him excited for what's to come.

'' Oh boy, things will become very, very interesting around here. ''

Author's Note

Thank you very much if you made it this far, either you liked it or not. I still appreciate the fact that you took a bit of your time to read this. This story is pretty important to me, because I love both of these things and I want to do them well. It is the first crossover I wrote, so it feels like a huge project to me.

I really wanted to give a bit more Artemis Fowl goodness to this site. I know there are been some previous stories on it too, I encourage you to read them too, but I feel I had to contribute with one too. By the way, don't worry, next chapter, they're all in good ol' Equestria.

Thanks again.
Tons of love.
Nicojaller