Not Another Anon-a-Miss Fic

Chapters

Totally Stupid OR Anon-a-Missing the Obvious
I Don’t Know Anything Or Anon-a-Mistake
Not Going to Bed OR Anon-a-Mess
Tear it Up or Anon-a-Abyss
Break the Curse or Anon-a-Fix

Totally Stupid OR Anon-a-Missing the Obvious

“It was YOU all Along!” Applejack declared as she pointed a figure so accusingly that it threatened to bore a hole into Sunset Shimmer’s chest. “You’re ‘Anon-a-miss’!”

With two simple words, or rather, with one word that an abbreviation of two words and another word that was more like three words hyphenated to look like another word entirely, Sunset finally had her train of thought derailed. A train of thought that was previously chugging-along, thinking how great it was to have five wonderful friends who invited her to slumber parties and stuck by her even during the times where the entire school hated her.

“We trusted you, Sunset!” Rainbow Dash said with a glare matched by most her friends. “We thought—”

Sunset made an odd gurgling sound for a second as a small stream of blood half-trickled, half-squirted out her nose.

“—Uh… thought you were our—”

Sunset’s vision suddenly became glazed over as she began to teeter one way than the other.

“—Uh… Hey, are you alright?” Rainbow Dash concluded, her expression shifting from anger to concern.

“N-no…” Sunset informed, “I think I’m going to—” Her turquoise eyes rolled back into her head and Sunset suddenly tilted forward falling quickly towards the group of girls who quickly moved away and let her hit the ground wound a heavy ‘thud!’

For a moment, no one said anything. Each one only staring down at the limp body of the fiery red-and-yellow haired girl lying face down on the ground as a small pool of blood appeared from around her face.

“Uh…” Applejack’s face tightened slightly. “Did Sunset just… die?”

“Ern… you know in hindsight,” Fluttershy began, “one of us probably could have caught her.”

Rarity scoffed. “And risk getting blood on my ensemble?”

“Er… So you at least considered it before she hit the ground?” Fluttershy asked.

Rarity have Fluttershy an unamused look. “I don’t believe I have to explain myself in this situation!”

“Yeah, dude!” Rainbow Dash agreed. “I mean, Sunset is totally ‘Anon-A-Miss’!”

Sunset replied with more strange gurgling as the pool of blood around her face suddenly spread and a series of bloody bubbles appeared around her mouth.

“Oh, and not dead!” Rainbow Dash added. She shrugged. “Which is sort of a mixed blessing when you think about it…”

Pinkie inhaled a huge volume of air. “I got it! I know what happened!” Pinkie beamed widely. “Having been caught, Sunset took her suicide pill rather than face the consequences of her actions!”

Rarity’s forehead wrinkled. “So, you’re suggesting Sunset’s plan was to embarrass us, and plan ‘b’ was to kill herself if we should figure out she was the culprit!”

Pinkie shook her head up and down. “Yu-huh!”

Rarity and Applejack exchanged a quick glance.

“Pinkie, that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense,” Applejack said as she extended a hand, palm upwards.

Pinkie threw her hands up in the air. “Okay, well if anyone else has any better solutions, I’m all ears!”

From the ground, Sunset’s hand shot up.

“Yes!” Pinkie said enthusiastically. “Sunset!”

Sunset rotated her hand slightly and made a small motion for everyone to get closer, and closer they did come. All five girls leaned down as Sunset changed from waving with her fingers to simply beckoning them close to her head with an index finger as she mumbled a response quietly. Soon, all girls had faces and years practically pressed against each other’s and Sunset’s.

“Yes!” Pinkie whispered not-so-quietly. “Sunset! We’re here now!”

“Ah think she knows that,” Applejack pointed out. “She was the one who motioned for everyone to get closer.”

“Oh, right…” Pinkie smiled down at Sunset. “Okay, Sunset! What’s your solution that’s better than mine?”

Sunset flopped over onto her back, her hair falling into the small pool of blood she had left on the floor while small trickles of blood continued to pour from both her nostrils. Already, it was apparent she had a bruise on her forehead and some blue-black discoloration around her right eye. She glared up at the faces mere inches from her own. “TAKE ME TO THE NURSE’S OFFICE!” she screamed at the top of her lungs.

As the patient table she laid upon rolled back, Sunset Shimmer stared up at the white ceiling tiles with their perforations above her with a scowl on her face as her left eye had already begun to turn blacker and bluer than before.

“Okay, Miss Shimmer,” a pleasant female’s voice called out. “I’m just reviewing your results now and—”

“Question, Nurse Redheart.” Sunset said as she looked over at the white-skinned woman wearing a nurse’s outfit who had her pink hair in a bun.

“Yes, Miss Shimmer?” the nurse replied sweetly.

“Why does the school have an MRI machine in it? How could a High School possible have the budget for such a thing?!”

Nurse Redheart met the question with a short, good-natured laugh. “Oh, this is nothing, you should see the budget for the upcoming Friendship games!”

“…That just raises more ques—”

“NOW!” Redheart quickly said as she turned to a large screen and clicked a mouse a few times. “The bruise on your head and over your eyes should heal up naturally in a few weeks. Though, I can see from your scan you suffered a couple aneurysms! These can be caused by a number of experiences… Coffee, nose-blowing, vigorous exercise, cola, anger, surprise, straining on the toilet… ” Redheart leaned over and smiled. “Really, life is kind of one big extended series of events where we roll the dice every second and hope we don’t drop dead!”

“Uh… right…” Sunset replied, her expression tightening. “Both aneurysms were caused by sheer stupidity,” she informed.

“Oh?” Redheart replied with curiosity. “How do you figure that?”

“Mommy! Mommy!” A tiny orange unicorn with a red-and-yellow mane and cutie mark of the sun on her flank of matching colors bounded up across a room furnished with ornate wooden and gold furniture. This excited filly quickly skidded to a halt, stopping right behind a set of massive white pony legs which she looked up excitedly. “Mommy! I finished my painting mommy!” the little filly said, beaming excitedly. She grinned widely. “I even mixed all the colors myself and it has you, me, and even Mr. Kibitz! I drew us all outside having a picnic because I thou—”

“That’s a great, My Little Shimmering Sunshine,” a soft, almost melodic voice replied kindly but with a small touch of dismissal the little filly had grown to loathe. Celestia bent down and lowered her head towards Sunset, her long horn almost the length of the filly herself. “I’m afraid a picnic will have to wait, I’m almost late for an important meeting with the EEA, and you know that Neighsay abhors tardiness.”

The tiny filly puffed out her small lips into a not-so-tiny pout that suggested she had plenty of experience looking sad and dejected. “Okay, but can you at least look at my pain—”

“Sunset, I’m very sorry,” Celestia said as she practically stepped over the orange filly. “This meeting requires my full attention!” Celestia let out a sad sigh. “It seems the new tiles for the girl’s bathroom in the school are a couple shades off from a color ideal for stimulating mental facilities.”

“… Okay… Just… What…?” Sunset Shimmer replied as she watched Celestia walk away, Sunset’s left eye twitching something fierce before a stream of blood trickled from her right nostril.

“I have a history there,” Sunset replied.

Redheart nodded. “Well, you should be fine so long as you avoid any stressful situations… Say, concerning yourself over your social standings within the school or how you’re treated by your peers”

Sunset raised an eyebrow. “Are you, uh… being sarcastic, or…?”

Redheart chuckled. “Maybe just focus on the holiday and spending time with your family.”

Sunset frowned heavily. “My Mom and I had a falling out. I live alone.”

“Oh, uh…” Redheart thought for a moment. “Well! You know it’s a lie when they say that suicides increase this time of year! See, they actually go down because most everyone is usually with their supportive family and… uh…”

“…”

Redheart forced a grinned. “Your friends are waiting for you outside!”

“Are they here to finish the job?!” Sunset suggested snidely.

Nurse Redheart walked over and helped Sunset get back to her feet. “Well, if they are, medical attention is just a few feet away!” she informed chipperly.

Sunset let out a sigh so heavy it the woman almost lost a few pounds. “You might want to work on your bedside manner there, Nurse Redheart.”

Readheart just smiled. “You can try working as a nurse at a school where magical related injuries are fairly common on top of students throwing smoke bombs or setting up trampolines for impromptu photo shoots, and we’ll see how happy you are.”

“Touché …” Sunset replied as she placed her hand on the door handle and opened the door.

“Scream if you need anything!” Nurse Redheart cheerfully replied after Sunset.

Frowning slightly, Sunset stepped outside the door where, as promised, her friends were waiting for her.

“Well,” Rarity said in a clearly aggravated tone, “what do you have to say for yourself?”

‘Friends’ might be too strong a word at this current time.

“ME?!” Sunset exclaimed. “You’re the five throwing around baseless accusations that sent me to the school’s emergency room…” Sunset turned slightly to look at the door labeled ‘ER’ with a big, bold red cross. “Which is still something I’m surprised we have.” She turned back to the girls present. “What makes you think I’m Anon-A-Miss?!”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “You only ruined our friendships before because of the whole Spring Fling thing!”

Sunset nodded. “Yeah! And I was good at it! You five never suspected me until Twilight showed up and got you five talking to each other!”

The give girls exchanged glances, the confident anger that had been on their faces slowly being replaced by unsure sheepishness.

Sunset continued, “Furthermore, I had motive then! What possible reason would I have to embarrass you all like this?!”

Again, a series of increasingly uncertain expressions where exchanged.

Pinkie cleared her throat. “Er… Reeeveeeeeeeeengeeeee?” She said though it was more question than a suggestion.

“…For WHAT?!”

The girls looked amongst each other once more.

Rainbow Dash snapped her fingers in an ‘ah-ha’ fashion, “Because I wouldn’t let you become lead guitar of the Rainbooms.”

“Rainbow Dash, I never ASKED to be lead guitar,” Sunset countered, “When you found out I could play the guitar, you had a breakdown and locked yourself in the band supply closet! You even refused to come out until we all convinced you I wasn’t trying to take your place…” Sunset tapped at her chin for a moment. “Which kinda brings up the point that you five tend to embarrass yourselves so often around me that it begs the question as to why I’d wait until NOW to do this with silly stuff like decades-old stories from when you where a kid, Applejack, or like… just pictures of all of you goofing off at a slumber party.”

Applejack gave Sunset a scrutinizing look, “But the Anon-a-Miss avatar looks just like your silhouette!”

“Yes!” Sunset said throwing up her hands in the air. “Which is a tactic I’d use to defer suspicion onto someone specific! You know…” Sunset rubbed her chin for a moment, “…if I thought everyone at this school was dumb enough to fall for that… which… considering the lazy-photoshopping that almost worked on Twilight, you all kind of are…”

“Ah-HA!” Pinkie exclaimed as she leveled an accusatory finger at Sunset. “So you admit it!”

“… I admit, that apparently you are all stupid enough to fall for this trick and apparently I was trying WAY too hard last year, sure,” Sunset said casually.

Pinkie pursed her lips into a tight frown for a moment. “Well, maybe you just took your time with your sweet revenge! You know… revenge is a dish best served cold?”

Sunset leaned forward, angrily pointing to herself. “Do I look like enjoy things served cold, Pinkie?!”

Pinkie whimpered. “What about ice-cream?!”

Sunset groaned. “Okay, I like ice-cream, but that’s it!”

Pinkie gasped. “So not even ceviche?!”

“Or, Sushi?” Rarity added with slight pout to her face. “Darling, certainly you enjoy sushi.”

“Okay, okay!” Sunset cried irritably. “So there are several foods I enjoy cold, but not revenge! And we still haven’t established what I’d want revenge for!”

Applejack smirked. “How about when we stopped your plan to take over Equestria!”

Sunset raised her fingertips to her head and leaned against the wall for support as another trickle of blood went down her nose. “If I wanted revenge for THAT, first off, I deserve an Academy Award for the show I’ve put on since then. Second off, I would have thrown my hat in with the sirens, or even just not helped you when they showed up? I mean, without my book to reach out to Twilight or even my at-the-very-end help, everyone would have been pretty much hosed!”

The girls exchanged glances once more.

“… Yeah, but still…” Rainbow Dash said.

Sunset closed her eyes and groaned before giving the girls all serious looks. “You guys, I didn’t do this!” Sunset exclaimed. “I could never hurt any of you!” Sunset began to become misty-eyed. “You’re basically the only family I have now, and I’d have to be criminally insane to jeopardize that for, apparently, no other reason than to make you all upset at me again.” Sunset sniffled quietly. “Girls… I love you…”

The girls all exchanged glances.

“We’d love to help you, darling, really,” Rarity said. “However, we all agreed that the best thing to do was to ostracize you while barely letting you get a word in edgewise.”

Sunset’s eyes show open wide. “Okay… Just… What…” she choked out, squeaking out the last word as tears began to flow from her eyes.

Fluttershy nodded. “Oh my, yes. In fact, we let you talk way more than we initially meant to.”

The girls all turned and began to walk away, Pinkie raising her hand up high. “Bye-bye Sunset Shimmer! We’re sorry we ever trusted you!”

Sunset watched them walk away for a moment through the tears, then let out a scream of frustration, rage, and sadness as another bit of blood shot out her nose.

Author's Note

It's Time to PARTY!

Or not.

Braving this piece after many questions/requests I do my take on it.

It's gonna get a lot worse before it gets better, I tell ya what.

I Don’t Know Anything Or Anon-a-Mistake

‘Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep…’

Sunset Shimmer’s eyes drifted open and focused to the dim light of her new surroundings as she found herself staring at a ceiling that was unfamiliar just a bit ago, but now was one she had previously made an acquaintance with. She let out a soft groan and turned her head one way then the other, noting she had an IV line hooked up to her left arm, complete with a blood pack and fluids. Additionally, her already blood-stained shirt had been removed, as well as her leather jacket. Only a simple black bra offered her some form of upper-body modesty. Attached to her chest were a couple of wires feeding information to a monitor which beeped steadily and softly as a series of different colored lines sloped, spiked, and leveled off rhythmically.

“Oh, good! You’re awake,” a voice called out, a woman who, much like the ceiling, was stranger at the beginning of the day but quickly becoming a common fixture of Sunset’s latest issue.

“Yes, thanks,” Sunset said as she looked around the room a bit more and noted her blood-soaked shirt and coat hung up on a coat hanger. She took another moment to look down at her chest and arm. “IS this all really necessary?”

Nurse Redheart chuckled. “Well, you did lose quite a bit of blood! But don’t worry, I found most of it!”

Sunset looked up at the blood bag hanging above her in concern.

“Haha! Sorry! Little medical humor there. That bag is fresh.”

Sunset raised an eyebrow. “How fresh?”

“Don’t worry!” Redheart soothed. “I always have fresh blood on hand in case of motocross mishaps on the school’s track, or like… if there’s a roller derby home game!”

The beeping of the monitor suddenly went erratic for a moment then settled down as Sunset stared at Redheart. “Wait… what?! How could the school endorse an event where the chances of teenagers getting injured horribly is likely?! Possibly a given?!” Her face tightened. “Furthermore, how are you allowed to keep a supply of blood on hand, and like--” Sunset sat up slightly and motioned around her. “--have all this medical equipment?!”

Redheart just shrugged while maintaining her smile. “Why does our school just let anyone in without checking for ID or if they have legal guardians? How is it that one girl is the head of every athletic club at school? Why does the school have enough scientific equipment to make an actual research lab green with envy? Why is the home ec room better equipped than the cafeteria, or most professional kitchens for that matter?”

“All of this is just exacerbating my condition, you know!” Sunset exclaimed as the monitor began to beep erratically.

“Whoa! Calm down!” Redheart said, her smile finally dropping. “The Machine that goes ‘beep’ is all over the place!”

Sunset grit her teeth as the beeps refused to get back in place. “You mean the ‘heart monitor’?!”

Redheart shrugged. “I dunno… Maybe? I’m not a doctor.”

Sunset’s face turned red as her head began to shake in frustration.

Redheart leaned forward and put up a hand as if blocking her voice from some unseen party in the room. “Plus, it’s actually called a ‘Cardiac Telemetry Monitor’,” she informed with a smile that had just a dash of smug added to it. “Share that with your friends. It’ll impress them.”

The beeping from the monitor suddenly slowed down to a somewhat worrying pace. “I have no friends…” Sunset said dejectedly.

Redheart pursed her lips in confusion. “I thought you kinda saved the school? Maybe planet? I mean, I know you have a checkered past from the literally hundreds of people that have shown up here from stress seizures from your years of terrorizing the student body and faculty plus all the injuries caused when you went all demon and destroyed the school entrance.” A borderline wistful look came over Redheart as her lips pulled up ever so slightly. “So many blood packs used that day…”

The rhythmic beeping and slopes and valleys of the lines ceased, the former replaced by one solid tone and the latter by completely straight lines. Redheart looked over at Sunset who was still lying on her back but starting up at the ceiling with cold, listless eyes.

Scowl on her face, Nurse Redheart walked over to Sunset and slapped at her chest a few times causing the rhythmic beeps and changing lines to resume. “Dang faulty electrodes!” she exclaimed.

“I don’t deserve friends…” Sunset mumbled softly to herself. “I’m a monster…”

“You WERE a monster!” Redheart corrected. “Now you’re just a normal teenager! Uh… mostly...”

“A normal teenager who apparently makes MyStable pages in her sleep to embarrass her friends with several giant arrows pointing back to me because my subconscious doesn’t think I should be happy!”

Redheart’s eyes tightened and she tapped at her cheek slightly. “Erm, in my professional medical opinion, that sounds completely bonkers.”

“I thought so, too, at first!” Sunset said. “But the Anon-a-Miss MyStable page practically has my name all over it!” Sunset pointed to her jacket. “Go check my phone!”

Quizzical expression on her face, Redheart walked over to the jacket and checked the pockets briefly where she found a rectangular smartphone in the inside pocket. She pressed a button on it and a warm glow from the phone lit up her white face. “Wow… there’s no password or anything on this…” Redheart commented. “I mean… I guess that would be inconvenient, but in my professional medical opinion, I’d think a girl who ticked off the entire school over the course of a few years through blackmail and cyber-bullying would have thought to at least think to put a PIN number to unlock her phone…”

“I… SHUT UP, alright!” Sunset replied irritably as the beeping occurrences increased slightly. “I would have but, uh… reasons…” she said, mumbling out the last word as she clearly ran out of steam.

Redheart tapped at the screen a few times causing the screen to flicker, her forehead knit to the point where he eyebrows formed a unibrow. “Okay, yikes… I thought you were over exaggerating the ‘arrows pointing back at you’, but whoever made this clearly just applied some basic photo filters to pictures of you and put them up!”

“I knooooooow!” Sunset whined. “I thought my subconscious would be a lot smarter than this! I mean, I’ve been saying I could do things better in my sleep all this time, to make people feel bad, you know? But, no! Apparently, I’m incredibly stupid in my sleep!”

Redheart raised an eyebrow. “Okay, it actually sounds crazier the more times you try to explain this as you uploading pictures, editing photos, and creating a site to punish yourself in some sort of fugue state… medically speaking.”

“Well, Applejack told me the story and the pictures were from my phone!” Sunset insisted. “And I kept complete track of it the entire time, provided you discount the solid nine hours of near-comatose sleep I had due to sleep deprivation and the fact that mornings suck in general! Who else could it be?!”

“I’m no detective outside the medical field, but if you didn’t do it, then anyone who could have gotten to your phone while you slept is a suspect.”

Sunset sighed. “But everyone at the school pretty much adores those five! Even me, now… Especially me, now!” Sunset shook her head. “Who’d want them to suffer so much?!”

“Maybe they weren’t the target? I mean… out of the girls impacted by this only one is lying in on a bed with blood and fluids being fed into their body…” A small, dark smile appeared on Nurse Redheart’s face. “So faaar…” she cooed to herself.

“Okay… I see your point,” Sunset said, “but who could I have possibly wronged in the past to warrant this sort of attack?”

“... You’re joking, right?”

“Erm… okay… I guess all five girls would have a potential motive if they were willing to suffer some humiliation if it meant getting back at me…”

Redheart smiled. “Now you’re thinking clearly.”

“Not to mention the entire school, service industry workers I’ve yelled at, my landlord, my mailperson, other people’s mailpersons… really anypersons whose job it’s been to deliver me packages over the last three years. The mayor, the mayor’s assistant, anyone whose staffed or even attended the local state fair the last few years, direct family of everyone I mentioned so far, extended family of everyone I mentioned so far, … uh… I’m sure there’s more.”

Redhearts smile dropped. “Okay, now I think you’ve muddied the waters just a tad…”

Sunset tapped at her left temple. “Right, right… not all of those people would have had access to my phone…” Her lips and face tightened thoughtfully. “Hmmm… there’s a missing piece here, but I’m just not seeing it… Somehow I just can’t put it all together…”

“Oh! I got it!” Nurse Redheart exclaimed. “You need more blood to think clearer!”

Sunset looked up at the still mostly full blood bag above her. “I uh…” she pointed at the bag. “I still have plenty!”

Smile on her face, Nurse Redheart nodded. “Sure! You’re getting blood into THAT arm, but you still have another perfectly good arm I could hook an IV too.”

“Uh… pass…” Sunset said with a concerned expression on her face.

“Aww…” Redheart said dejectedly. “But if I don’t use up the blood it’ll just go to waste as extra protein in the school cafeteria!”

Some color drained from Sunset’s face as the monitor skipped a few beats. “What…?”

Redheart made finger guns at Sunset. “Joking!”

Sunset let out a groan. “While I appreciate the levity—”

“I sense sarcasm.”

“—Your senses serve you well!” Sunset continued. “I still need to work out how to solve this whole Anon-a-Miss thing which is pretty much ruining my life.”

“Uh…” Redheart scratched the back of her head behind the big pink bun of her hair for a moment. “Right, sorry, but I’m not really qualified to give advice in that department…” She raised a palm in a half-shrug and glanced upwards. “I mean, I’m not really qualified to give a lot of the medical advice I do and that rarely stops me, but still…” Redheart leaned forward and looked at Sunset with a serious expression. “Maybe you can talk to the school’s guidance counselor?”

Laying on a black leather long reclining chair and staring up at the ceiling, Flash Sentry let out another in a long series of forlorn sighs as he stared up at the ceiling. “And it’s like… She just seems so far out of my league! Like, out of my planet, even… literally… No really… she literally lives off-planet. But also, like… There’s a portal and maybe one of us could just use it? I’m just not sure if me, a high school student, could just, you know… pop over to a different world. Normally, I have no trouble with girls and… you’re a great listener by the way… anyhow, I play the guitar, I have a cool car… but this girl is, like, a princess… literally. So that doesn’t matter and just… How do I even engage here…” Flash turned his head to his right. “You, know?”

Blank expression on her face, a grey-skinned woman with purple hair sat motionless for a second, only the ever so slight heaving of her chest under her slate blue frock betrayed she wasn’t a lifelike statue of some sort. Finally, she slowly raised her open hand where a rock about the size of her palm and spoke in an even monotone, “Boulder says you should get that bitch a transparent crystal of tetrahedrally bonded carbon atoms in a covalent network lattice. Bitches love transparent crystals of tetrahedrally bonded carbon atoms in a covalent network lattice.”

“Ugh…” Sunset exclaimed. “Rock-hard pass!”

Redheart shrugged. “Well, uh… I know you said you have no family, but maybe there’s someone else you can talk this out with? Maybe, like… I don’t know… some person who’s maybe good at dealing with social misunderstandings and mending them before things get completely out of control?” She added with a hopeful smile.

Sunset tapped at her chin thoughtfully. “Huh… Nope… No one is coming to mind.”

“Well, shoot…” Redheart replied. “I guess just try to lay low for a while…”

Sunset suddenly sat up, thrusting a forefinger up which pierced the air in an ‘I got it!’ fashion. “Ooooor, I can run around blaming others for this mess without a shred of hard evidence or even motive to their actions!” Smiling demonically to herself, Sunset wrung her hands together. “Because that’s what happened to me!” she added darkly.

“That sounds like the opposite of a good idea,” quipped Redheart, “but you do you, girl.”

Sunset quickly ripped off the leads on her chest and pulled out the needle in her arm.

“No, no, that’s fine,” Redheart said with a touch of irritation, “it’s not like there’s a medical professional in here that could do that without risking damage to important blood vessels.”

Clearly having built up her own momentum, Sunset threw on her bloody shirt and jacket.

“Oh, good yes… Just put back on the shirt caked in your filthy, dried blood,” Redheart said sarcastically. “That’s hygienic.”

Sunset pumped a fist into the air. “Stupidity got me into this mess, and it’ll assuredly get me out!”

Redheart raised an eyebrow. “Ever hear the expression ‘two wrongs don’t make a right?’”

“No!” Sunset replied cheerfully as she grabbed the handle to the office. She pulled it open and ran out. “Thanks for all the advice, Nurse Redheart!”

Redheart waved and shouted after Sunset, “I also kept you alive and you’re following literally none of my advice, but okaaaay!” Sighing, Redheart slumped her shoulders and let both her hands and head hang down dejectedly. “I’m going to need more blood…” she said, punctuating her resigned statement with a small chuckle and a scythe-like smile.

~*-Days Pass…and the entire school body of Canterlot High has nothing better to do than pick on five students-*~

“Ugggghhhh!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed as she slumped down to the ground, and practically buried her face in her electric guitar. “Sorry, guys… just not feeling it.”

A somewhat discordant sound of drums, bass, keyboard, and tambourine ceased as a series of murmurs came up in agreement.

“I understand,” Fluttershy said as she slumped against the wall of the band room and held her tambourine against her lap. “If only we knew someone who was good at solving social problems like this!”

“Gee, I know, right!” Pinkie said from behind her drum set. “I mean… but that’d be like finding a magical unicorn that also had wings!”

Sitting down one of the tiers of the band room, Applejack added her sigh to the dejected atmosphere in the room. “Face it, girls, there ain’t anyone or anything like that and there never will be.”

A white-skinned woman with long, cascading purple hair nodded, her pink wide-brimmed hat and red-framed sunglasses joining her fashionable pink trench coat that left her knee-high purple boots visible perfectly disguising her identity. “ I know, dear,” Girl-Incognito-Not-Rarity replied, “and even if such a person or creature existed, it’s not like we could just walk through a magical portal that’s literally always open and ask for his or her…. most likely her, help.”

Glaring at the bandroom wall, Rainbow Dash motioned out into open air. “Just… she got ahold of my paper on buoyancy and posted it for the world to see!” She shook her head. “Like… She must have crazy ninja skills or something to get past me and get ahold of my bag, take out the report, snap a photo, and then put it backwithout me noticing!Plus, now she’s attacking other people at school with secrets she’s finding! You’d think everyone would know better to tell Sunset Shimmer anything after all these years and now this Anon-a-Miss thing, but it’s like they’re spilling the beans to her non-stop! Almost like they think she’s a different person and hasn’t, clearly, just put up a website to share secrets!”

Fluttershy’s lips pursed into a frown. “And I heard the new secrets are coming out so fast. Sometimes minutes apart, from students who are clear across school from each other!”

“And she keeps on addin’ details to this Piggly-wiggly story!” Applejack said, also shaking her head. “It’s bad enough she shared everything Ah mentioned at the slumber party, but now she’s adding details that only my family would know about! It’s jus’ cruel, Ah tell ya what!”

“It’s positively ghastly!” Most-CLEARLY-Another-Fashionable-Girl-Besides-Rarity exclaimed as she stood in front of her keyboard, “Why, she even revealed my deepest, darkest secret! A secret so dark and terrible that I never even told you girls, let alone Sunset Shimmer!”

Pinkie spoke up, “I heard she caused Mr. Doodle’s cancer and even pushed him into a secret double life of crime!”

Everyone turned and stared at Pinkie.

“Er… I don’t think that’s very likely,” Fluttershy said.

“Which part?” Pinkie asked with a smile.

Applejack threw her hands in the air. “Look, no one is suggesting something silly like Sunset Shimmer caused cancer! Jus’ that she apparently has the ability to enter and exit places completely unnoticed and maybe be in multiple places at once!”

“Oh!” Rainbow Dash spoke up. “Also, and maybe read minds!”

Pinkie shrugged at this last suggestion. “Naaawwww… give it a couple movies.”

“Well, she’s a fiend, for certain!” Totes-Magotes-Not-Rarity stressed. “I can’t believe she’d quite literally air my dirty laundry out for everyone at school to see like that!”

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Is it the polka-dots and the stripes thing?”

“I don’t want to talk about it!” moaned Rarity-But-Totally-Not-Rarity-Because-Rarity-Doesn’t-Wear-Sunglasses-Inside-You-See.

Applejack sighed. “Not that it’s a competition, Rarity, but that’s pretty minor.”

“Yeah!” Rainbow Dash agreed. “Because if it was a competition, I’d totally be winning!”

“What?!” Applejack protested. “Ah’ve been getting cartoon drawings of pigs and notes that say ‘Piggly-Wiggly’ all week! Ah mean, it’s clear Ah’ve been getting it longer and harder than the rest of ya!”

“Erm… phrasing,” Fluttershy said as she sat on the floor and hugged her knees.

Sitting at her drum set, Pinkie looked over at her fellow percussionist, “What’s she done to you Fluttershy?”

Fluttershy sighed. “Well, she’s still showing pictures and movies of me at our slumber parties making fun of me… Nothing new yet… She seems to be mostly focusing on you three for some reason,” she said as she looked over Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Applejack.

The three girls seemed to consider this for a moment.

“Huh…” Applejack uttered. She looked over at Pinkie. “Has she singled you out at all, Pinkie?”

“Oh me?” Pinkie replied cheerfully. “Oh, no. She actually blocked me because I kept on submitting embarrassing stories for myself!”

The other four girls all exchanged confused looks.

Pinkie just giggled. “Like the time I flooded the cafeteria with cookie dough! Or the time I fired off a party cannon at school and the police were called! Or the time I ate sooo much of Mr. Doodle’s secret blue sugar I took off my clothes and stre—”

“We GET it, Pinkie!” Rainbow Dash said. “But we all agreed it HAS to be Sunset and only Sunset, right? I mean… she wasn’t in any of the embarrassing pictures and they had to be from her phone!” Rainbow Dash let out a dismissive gust of air. “Open and shut case, am I right?!”

“Uh-huh!” There of the other four girls said in agreement.

“Well…” Pinkie began.

Rainbow Dash rose her fingertips to her head in exasperation. “Not this again…

“I just think we haven’t explored other options!” Pinkie said. “I mean… it could have been a sneaky wolf-man! Or the state of New Mexico! Or even an evil supervillain dentist! Or maybe a ninja! Or even a Mummy!” Pinkie glanced upwards for a moment. “Or maybe something from SPACE! OR a devil even! Ooo! Ooo! Space devil!”

Rarity-Someone-Finally-Said-Her-Name-Up-There-So-I’m-Finally-Done-With-This-Joke let out a heavy sigh. “Okay, but discounting the supernatural, aliens, entire states, or crazed medical professionals, we’re all in agreement that is has to be Sunset, right?”

“Oh my, yes,” Fluttershy looked at her phone. “I mean, who else could this avatar of a mean girl with long, red-colored hair, orange skin, wearing a leather jacket be?”

Pinkie threw a hand up in the air as she thumbed her phone with the other. “It’s like she’s not even trying at all! Hehehe… Now, Ms. Harshwhinny is telling Sunset Shimmer how unprofessional this is on the page! Oh! And Sunset is replying that ‘It’s not me! And it’s unprofessional to follow a gossipy MyStable page! Hah! NOW Ms. Harshwhinny is getting really mad and the two are just spamming ‘Unprofessional’ at each other!”

Rarity grabbed the frames of her sunglasses and lowered them to look at Pinkie. “Pinkie, why are you MyStable friends with that horrible Anon-a-Miss?!”

“I’m friends with everyone, d’uh!” Pinkie replied without looking up from her page. “Plus, like… Anon-a-Miss has over 6,000 friends! That means more people than the entire school and the family members of people from the school are interested in her petty attacks on us! Ooo! Ooo! Now Sunset Shimmer as Anon-a-Miss is responding to Sunset Shimmer as herself and Harshwhinny to ‘Stop spamming!’ and ‘Crud! I’m going to give the whole thing away!’ Also, ‘How do I delete comments, guys?!’ And now, ‘Scootaloo! Stop Typing everything you’re saying!’. Ooo! Ooo! And now ‘Stop typing what I’M saying!’”

“Huh…” Fluttershy uttered. “Well that sounds… confusing.”

Rainbow Dash gasped. “What! OF COURSE!”

All the girls turned to Rainbow Dash expectantly.

“Of course, what?” Applejack asked.

“Sunset must have concocted this whole scenario to throw us off the trail which she also cleverly made super obvious in an attempt to defer suspicion to herself!”

Her face still glued to her phone, Pinkie giggled more, “and now Sunset Shimmer is accusing Ms. Harshwinny of being the real Anon-A-Miss while her typing becomes increasingly erratic and typo-heavy!”

Rarity narrowed her eyes. “She’s more clever than we even thought… to think she had has going with that ‘absolutely no motive for doing this’ talk.”

Pinkie put her phone away and giggled. “Yep! We sure figured that one out!” She sprung to her feat and reached into her hair, pulling out a pink glitter pen as she walked over to the wall at the front of the room. Pinkie took off the cap to the pen and began to write.

“Uh, Pinkie?” Applejack said. “Is that gonna wash off or are we gonna get in trouble again and have to repain—”

“Shhhh!” Pinkie shushed. “I’m on a roll!” she declared as she continued writing. Dotting one more exclamation mark with a heart, Pinkie smiled to herself and placed the cap back on the pen. “There!” she said as she stepped away and motioned to her work.

In bright, sparkly, pink glitter pen, clear as day, Pinkie’s message read:

‘Step 1: Embarrass the Rainbooms.

‘Step 2: …

‘Step 3: Profit!’

Rainbow Dash nodded solemnly. “We’re through the looking glass, everyone.”

Fluttershy looked at her friends in concern. “Well, what do we do?! I mean, we’re all certain it’s Sunset Shimmer doing all this!”

Pinkie Pie shrugged. “Eh… I’m still hedging my bets that it might be ninja-mummies…”

“Most of us are certain it’s Sunset Shimmer!” Fluttershy clarified. “Maybe we can confront her about it and put a stop to it once in for all!”

Rarity shook her head. “I don’t know, darling… Sunset Shimmer is very cunning… She’d probably know we’d try to stop her…”

Applejack nodded. “Especially after we flat out accused and publically humiliated her!”

Rarity continued, “No, no… she must have a contingency plan for that…”

“Like what?!” Pinkie asked in a bubbly tone.

Rarity stroked her chin. “She must have an idea so brilliant, and so cunning, there’s no way we could even hope to know what it is!”

Pinkie gasped then lowered her eyelids. “Diabolical…”

“Okay, but what do we do, then?!” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Ah got an idea!” Applejack said. “We do nothing!”

The other girls present all paused.

“Come again?” Fluttershy said.

“We don’t do anything!” Applejack reiterated. “See, Sunset expects us to do something about all the teasin’, but if we don’t do anything she won’t know what to do!”

Rarity took a short, sharp, excited breath of air, “And then all our problems will fix themselves somehow!”

Fluttershy smiled, “Everyone will go back to quietly making fun of my social awkwardness behind my back instead of doing it to my face!”

Rainbow Dash stood up and pumped her fist into the air. “And she’ll stop getting into my things and stealing hair brushes like she’s been doing for more years than Sunset Shimmer has even been on this planet!”

“And then marshmallows and chocolate rain will fall from the sky and also end world hunger!”

Again, every pair of eyes in the room was on Pinkie.

“WhaaaaAAAAaaaaaAAAaaat?~” Pinkie protested. “Is it a crime to dream?”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Look, the important thing is, we’ve out-geniused the super-genius here!”

“Hello, Trixie!” Sunset Shimmer greeted in a dark, accusatory tone.

With a slightly startled expression, Trixie placed her books in her locker and turned. “Ah!” she exclaimed as she looked over the girl in front of her.

Sunset’s hair was disheveled if one was being generous. Her right eye sported a dark circle, one that might have been shared by her left eye except it had turned black to match the bruise on her forehead. Furthermore, while her shirt had clearly been washed, it still sported a massive patch of dark brown discoloration from the blood Sunset had shared with it.

“Ah, Miss Shimmer…” Trixie said doing her best to sound confident. This was usually not a challenge for her, but a short lifetime of appearing confident was suddenly weighed against this rather unhinged looking individual. “How are you? You’re looking… deranged…”

Sunset folded her arms across her chest. “Save it, Trixie!” Sunset said with a glare. “You’re Anon-A-Miss, aren’t you?!”

“Hah! I wish!” Trixie exclaimed. “She’s stirred up the school more than Trixie ever could! Whoever she is, I’d like to thank her! Because… uh…” Trixie’s face scrunched up and she looked upwards as if searching her mind for something. “Actually, I’m not sure how this situation benefits me...” She tapped her chin thoughtfully. “It actually makes it harder for everyone to focus on Trixie because they’re so busy picking on the Rainbooms or dealing with their own personal dra…” Trixie trailed off as she noticed she was now talking to herself. “Uh, Sunset?”

Sunset’s heavy boots echoed through the hallway as students quickly got out of the way of the sprinting firebrand. “HEY! YOU! YOU’RE ANON-A-MISS, AREN’T YOU?!”

A peach-skinned male student, his tousled brown hair under a grey beanie, pointed to himself. His expression clearly said, ‘Who me?’ as Sunset rapidly closed the distance between the two. “I… what?! How could I possible-Oh, God!”

Sunset lunged the last few feet and tackled her target to the ground with a ‘Thud!’

“CONFESS, SINNER! CONFESSSSSS!”

“WHY DOES THIS STUFF ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?!”

Author's Note

I told you I’d shoot! But you didn’t believe me! Why didn’t you believe me?!
STINKY WIZZLETEATS, Happy Happy Joy Joy

Bonus bit, the original guidance counselor scene that I had until Steel gave me a better idea:

Laying on a black leather long reclining chair and staring up at the ceiling, a grey-skinned woman with purple hair wearing a slate blue frock opens her mouth. Like a massive plate of rock moving slowly via continental drift, her words spoken in an even monotone come out as a gentle, low rumbling. “I have a new boyfriend and he really gets me. Like really gets me. However, my sister clearly does not like him. No one likes him but me, for that matter. This would not usually warrant my attention; however, I think my sister is going out of her way to spend time with him and me for my sake and the result is clearly testing her already somewhat questionable mental health. While I appreciate where she’s coming from and have likewise indulged her hobbies despite a general disinterest myself in the interest of seeing her happy, I feel her well-intentioned behavior may strain our otherwise rock-solid relationship.” The woman paused for a moment and glanced to her right, as if waiting for some acknowledgement of something she said. After a brief moment of silence, she continued, “I came here hoping to get advice on how to best balance my personal life between two of the people I care most about.”

“Hmmm, yes. I see, I see…” a purple-skinned woman replied thoughtfully, her large dark-purple ponytail with its electric blue stripe surrounded by light-purple bouncing slightly along with her bangs which where parted perfectly down the middle. She glanced down at something just above her left elbow and around her purple buttoned-up shirts short sleeve, a white armband that sported two black dashes. She put on a smile which an expert in smiles might call ‘not right’, or perhaps ‘too perfect’. “Now… Have you perhaps considered rebelling against the bourgeoisie and throwing off the shackles of capitalist tyranny?”

Not Going to Bed OR Anon-a-Mess

Author's Note

There's a handful of references to the first chapter of my little side story which occurs right before this.

Thanks again to Nova Quill, Steel Resolve, and Tired Old Man for the continual help with ideas and edits.

Also thanks to Ma Zedong for the Starlight idea in this chapter.

Not Going to Bed OR Anon-a-Mess

With a sigh laden heavy with the many, many aggravations that she had borne witness to over the last few days, Vice-Principal Luna pulled back her fingers from her office window blinds. She turned, eyes squinting and forehead creasing; more from the frustration she felt from what she had witnessed rather than the sudden shift in light. “Mr. Doodle and Mr. White are fist fighting in the middle of the soccer field,” she announced in dry, even tone. It suggested that something should be done, but that her expectation was that nothing would be.

Slouching in the black plastic chair in front of the desk, much like many of the bored high schoolers that had been called into the Vice-Principal’s office for one wrongdoing or another they didn’t particularly fear the consequences of, Luna’s sister sat in the chair with an expression to match her body posture. “Well, they’ve been something of rivals for years,” Celestia said in a bored tone. “It was really just a matter of time before those two hot heads let their fists do the talking.”

Luna narrowed her eyes. “But at the school, Celestia? Mr. White shouldn’t even be allowed on the premises after he was fired!Or need I remind you of what he did?”

Celestia flung her head back in an exaggerated manner and sighed. “Yes, yes. You’ve told me many times about the unwanted advances he made on you…” Flopping her head forward as she let her hands dangle at her sides, Celestia grumbled out an annoyed, “… poor schmuck hit on the wrong sister…”

“What was that?” Luna asked, her face tightening.

“Nothing!” Celestia replied innocently. She lifted a palm in a sort of half shrug, manner. “Look, I’m sure they’ll get this out of their system soon enough and we can send a couple students to drag their tired and beaten bodies inside.”

Luna rolled her eyes and walked over to a different window, she once again used her fingers to part the blinds briefly and look outside. “That seems quite unnecessary, Nurse Redheart seems to be actively waiting for the fight to conclude.” Luna’s eyes looked at the nurse in question who had seemingly set up a parasol to sit under on some of the school’s outdoor bleachers as Redheart watched the two men fighting. Redheart remained motionless as she rested her elbows on her thighs and steepled her fingers in front of her face, a cooler marked with a red cross sitting alongside her in the shade.

“See!” Celestia said. “Once again a solution has presented itself!” She shook her head. “I keep telling you that you put in way too much effort into trying to control everything that happens at the school.”

With a sharp snap of blinds falling back into place, Luna turned, eyes narrowed, lips pursed for a frank, serious talk. “And I keep telling you that your laissez-faire method of dealing with problems at the school has some deep and apparent flaws!”

Celestia let out a scoff of great incredulousity. “Blood drive participation from the students is higher than it’s ever been!”

“That’s because the students keep on getting into fights and Redheart is insisting they need a transfusion despite that fact that most everyone is just receiving a series of contusions, so we keep running out.” Luna shook her head.

“Well, it’s a good thing we’re having so many blood drives, then!”

A vein began to bulge on Luna’s forehead, growing to such a size one might think it’d burst and she, herself, might need a blood transfusion.

Celestia threw her hands in the air. “Look, if you’re wondering about the frequent donations,”

—“I AM, but that’s not the issue…”—

“Nurse Redheart said…”

-~ooo~-<

Slamming her palms on the wooden desk in front of her, the school nurse beamed enthusiastically across the plank of wood at Principal Celestia. The ‘beaming’ in this case not so much resembling a happy smile and much closer to the gleam a guillotine would have if it caught the sun. “Look, so… you know how there’s talk that six weeks might be a gross, and I mean gross, overestimation of how long blood lasts, right?”

“… For the sake of expediting this conversation, I’m going to say yes,” Celestia replied, a terse smile on her face.

“Right!” Nurse Redheart replied as she began to pace back and forth in front of the desk. “So, the new timeline suggested is two weeks,” Redheart thrust an index finger into the air. “However, if doctors were wrong about the old time, who’s to say they’re not wrong about the new time?”

Celestia began to nervously drum her fingers on her desk.

Taking no notice of the Principals unease, Redheart continued, “So! I figure since they were wrong about a full two-thirds of the time last time, we should assume that they’re wrong by two-thirds again. Meaning it’d be safest to assume that even properly cared for blood will last, at most, 4 days and 16 hours.” Laughing to herself, she added. “I mean… That’s just basic math, and we’re in a school, so d’uh!”

Celestia pursed her lips. “Well… that certainly SOUNDS like a bunch of words and numbers arranged to form a few coherent sentences…”

Redheart slammed her right fist into her left palm as she continued to pace back and forth in the small office. “SO! That means if we’re too keep our local supply of blood safe for student use, we need to be having twice weekly blood drives!”

Celestia’s face tightened. “Wait… Isn’t the required time between blood donations like two mon—”

Redheart turned and once again slammed her palms on the table, electing a small, terrified shriek from Celestia as the nurse favored her with a rictus grin. “And that means lots of cookies and juice boxes for the students! Who doesn’t love a good sugar cookie and juice box?!”

Her teeth set on edge, Celestia could only watch in wide-eyed horror as Nurse Redheart leaned across the desk, going so far as to place her nose a few inches from Celestia’s neck.

Inhaling deeply through her nose, Redheart breathed out a soft, moan-like sigh. “Oh, baby, baby…” she whispered. “Is that O negative I smell in you? I can’t wait to get all up inside that skin and suck you dry with two needles.”

Celestia gulped. “If I agree to whatever it is you’re asking, will you leave me alone in my office for some relaxing terror sobs right now?”

Leaning back, Redheart brought her fists under her chin and let out a high-pitched squeal of delight. “And how!”

<-~ooo~->

Luna fixed her sister with an unamused glare.

“What! She’s terrifying!” Celestia said as she wrapped her arms around herself and shivered slightly.

“Well, YOU hired her!”

Celestia nodded. “She’s also a very good nurse…”

Luna let out a groan. “Let’s try to stay on topic here. This Anon-a-Miss kerfuffle has nearly everyone in the school at each other’s throats and we should, oh I don’t know, try and put a stop to it, by say… finding the person responsible?!” She said, her last sentence hissed out through clenched teeth.

Celestia gave Luna a sad pout. “Well, certainly you don’t suspect Sunset Shimmer.”

Luna sighed. “I already questioned her. Sunset did an excellent job of convincing me she’s not the one responsible.”

-~ooo~-<

*Knock. Knock!*

“Yes, come in,” Luna said as she sat solemnly behind her desk, her hands folded neatly in front of her.

The door slowly creaked open, the light from outside the much dimmer room casting the woman standing in the doorway in silhouette. A silhouette Luna was starting to regard as all too familiar.

“There’s no easy way to say this, Sunset Shimmer” Luna began, “however, I have reason to believe you are the person behind this recent ‘Anon-A-Mess’ if you will.”

Sunset let out a slow, deep laugh, though not of joy. This laugh came from somewhere much different than jollity. In fact, one might say it was born more of madness and sorrow than mirth.

Unable to keep the confusion from her face, Luna continued. “I assure you, clever pun aside, this is not a lau—”

Sunset was practically on top of Luna’s desk in an instant. The student’s hair looked like it hadn’t been washed or even brushed in some days, corresponding with how little sleep it looked like Sunset had gotten. Additionally, the shirt Sunset wore looked dirty from smudges of filth, the least of which not being a large smear of dried blood that started at the shirt’s neckline. Likewise, it smelled dirty, likely from days of being worn and unwashed. “HeheheheheHahahahaha… Yes… it all makes sense now...” Sunset crowed.

Recoiling ever so slightly with a marked look of surprise on her face, Vice-Principal Luna was quick to regain her composure. “Sunset, I wish to formally retract my previous statement and instead would like to offer my help in this no doubt tryin—”

“It was YOU all along!” Sunset accused as she stood up tall and leveled a rigid index finger at Luna

Luna motioned to the seat in front of her desk. “Sunset, if you just have a seat, I’ll call my sister and—”

“You don’t like me, you’ve never liked me!” Sunset cried. “You were always jealous of the fact that your sister took care of me and practically treated me like family!” She leaned forward and slammed both her palms on Luna’s desk. “Admit it!”

Luna’s lips pursed into a tight line. “Sunset, while it’s true I think Principal Celestia’s sympathy and adoration of you has clouded her judgment from time to time, now hardly seems like the bes—”

Sunset slammed a fist on Luna’s desk. “You wanted her to take down the pictures of me in her office!”

Luna’s eyelids dropped slightly. “The second and third-year pictures taken after your Fall Formal victories, yes. Let’s be honest here… Your expression on the second comes off as a bit… smug… The third one is well…” Luna frowned heavily. “…truth be told, I considered having my sister committed after she put that one up…”

Sunset retracted her fist and clenched it in front of her as she began pacing in front of Luna’s desk. “Yes, yes… I see! Hahahaha! I see! It was you! Who else would have access to student’s secrets but the Vice-Principal?!”

Luna gave Sunset a scrutinizing look and reached into her dress jacket. She pulled out a smartphone and flicked at the screen a few times. “While it’s true my position allows me knowledge to many student’s misdeeds, that wouldn’t explain where these pictures came from or…” Luna squinted “…Or why I’d have opinions on ‘fruit-loop colored, sub-par, Dimethylphenethylamine’…” A sudden rustling of her blinds caused Luna too to look up. “Sunset Shimmer?”

A split second later, Sunset had opened one of the windows in Vice-Principal Luna’s room and was halfway out it. “You!” She shouted at a familiar peach-skinned male student wearing a gray beanie. “IT was you! Wasn’t it?!”

“You already accused me!”

Luna stood up and approached cautiously. “Sunset, if you just come sit down, we can straighten this—"

Sunset suddenly bolted outside as the window blinds fell back down with an angry protest of the hard slates rubbing against each other. “YOU’RE NOT GETTING AWAY THIS TIME!” Sunset shouted.

“Not again!”

‘THUMP!’

“AaaaaHHH!”

Luna simply raised fingertips to her forehead and let out a sigh.

<-~ooo~->

Celestia smiled. “I knew Sunset must be innocent… this time!”

Luna pinched the bridge of her nose and let out an exasperated sigh. She removed her hand and stared Celestia directly in the eye. “Sister… Celestia… Again, I feel you’re missing the bigger picture here… Students are fighting! Faculty is fighting! I even have reason to believe some girl from Crystal Prep has shown up to take advantage of the chaos and try to start some sort of quality socialist revolution here at the school…” As Luna took a quick, short breath, she remembered the musical number said student began as she tried to rally the students of Canterlot High.

“You can’t have a nightmare if you ne~ver dream…”~

She shuddered as the eerie melody echoed around the recesses of her brain, threatening to haunt her subconscious for the rest of her days.

“Uh… Luna?” Celestia said with a marked tune of concern. “Are you alright?” Celestia squinted in the dim light of her sister’s office. “It’s hard to tell in this light, but you almost look pale.”

Luna shook her head as if to clear it. “I’m pretty far from alright, sister, but what troubles me is a problem for another time.”

Celestia let out a large sigh, not unlike one belonging to a student who was about to be asked something they didn’t want to do.

Luna fixed Celestia with a small scowl.“Perhaps if you don’t want to help me find the culprit, you can at least seek out and comfort Sunset Shimmer? Or maybe even arrange with the school nurse to measure out the proper tranquilizer dose and dart Sunset Shimmer? For the safety of the other student’s as much as Sunset’s?”

Celestia’s eyes narrowed. “She’s not a wild animal, sister!” Celestia spat out.

“No, but if you saw the current state of her, you’d be inclined to agree she’s well on her way.”

Celestia let out a knowing sigh and finally got to her feet. “Luna, Luna, Luna…”

Luna’s left eye twitched in irritation as if she had heard this opening far too many times.

Smiling sweetly, if knowingly at her sister, Celestia continued, “You know you can’t baby the students so!” She placed a gentle, but firm hand on Luna’s shoulder. “I mean… If we don’t let anything happen to them, then nothing would ever happen to them.”

Luna shrugged off the hand. “You stole that from a movie and, frankly, I’m appalled by your lack of action to help the students, especially your adored Sunset Shimmer!”

Celestia’s expression tightened. “Sunset is stronger than you know! She’s dealt with being a demon and magical mind-controlling sea-monsters, for Christ sake! I’m sure she can handle a little tough-love from the school!”

Luna threw her hands up in the air. “What is it with you and Sunset?! You were like this after the last Fall Formal, too! Celestia, the school doesn’t love Sunset right now; everyone, even her friends actively seem to hate her!” She shook her head and closed her eyes. “I swear, I know you have a giant soft spot for her, but the way you’re treating her now you’d think you hated her!”

Celestial’s face became all the more rigid.

Luna continued, “If this is how you treat a child you like heaven help any of your own children you might have…”

Celestia’ right eyebrow lifted so quickly there was practically an audible ‘snap.’ Irritated scowl on her face, she reached into her dress jacket, turned, and pulled out her phone. She began to frantically tap at it with her thumbs.

Luna sighed, “Sister, I know this is hard to hear, but now is not the time to pretend you have a text—”

*Buzzzz! Buzzzzzz!*

Frowning, Luna reached into her own jacket and pulled out her phone. Swiping at the screen a few times, her already vexed features suddenly exploded in rage. “She… how… did…” Gritting her teeth Luna glared at Celestia. “How did Anon-a-Miss find out I still sleep with my Mac Tonight plushy?!”

Celestia snickered to herself. “Gee, I wonder how!”

“Tia, you absolute cuntmuffin!” Lune exclaimed. Growling, Luna began to tap at her phone. “That’s it! I’m telling Anon-a-Miss you slept with a nightlight until you were sixteen and cried at every slumber party you went to without it!”

Celestia gasped and turned. “You wouldn’t dare!”

Grinning wickedly to herself, Luna smiled. “Aaaaaand, sent!”

Celestia swallowed. “You… you’re bluff—”

*Buzzzz! Buzzzzzz!*

Slowly, and with a terrified look on her face, Celestia brought her phone up to her face. A slow tick starting about her eyes, this grew to a slight quivering of her head, followed by her entire body quaked as rage over-took her from head to toe.

“Hah!” Luna exclaimed with a chuffed expression on her face. “Perhaps now you’ll think twice about—”

With a blood-curdling scream, Celestia dove onto Luna, bringing both women to the ground where they began to exchange blows.

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU TOLD THE *POW* WORLD MY DEEPEST-OUCH-SECRET!” Shouted Celestia

“ME?! LOOK WHO’S *SMACK* TALKING YOU FREAKISHLY-OW-TALL HYPOCRITE!”

“Control Freak!”

“Lazy Placenta Loaf!”

“Sour puss!”

“Queef Stain!”

The door to Luna’s office suddenly slammed open. “Vice Principal Luna?!” Nurse Redheart exclaimed as she looked around the room. “I heard a crash and brought a couple blood packs just in—” Redheart gasped as she looked down at the grappling women and let out a squeal of girlish glee. “Jiminy… it must be Christmas…”

Slamming down her baby-blue cafeteria tray full of healthy but formless brown mush, slightly less healthy but equally formless brown mush, and an apple, Rainbow Dash took a seat next to Fluttershy. “Hey Fluttershy,” Rainbow Dash greeted grumpily as she raised her left hand to her face.

“H-hey, Dash,” Fluttershy replied as she got over her momentary surprise.

Fluttershy let out a sad sigh as she picked up her milk carton, a white plastic straw poking out of the top. “…Yeah.” She admitted. “I have to run to the animal shelter after school every day. At least the animals won’t make fun of me.”

Regarding Fluttershy with a sympathetic glance, Rainbow Dash looked out into the cafeteria. “Well, at least we’re not the only targets.”

Fluttershy’s brow tightened slightly. “I don’t see how that makes any of this bette—”

“Anon-a-Miss is posting about everybody now,” Rainbow Dash added as she gestured out into the cafeteria.

Fluttershy followed Rainbow Dash’s finger.

“Don’t lie to me!” Diamond Tiara shouted. “You took my necklace!” she added as she held up a smartphone to show the one she was accusing. “Anon-a-Miss posted your picture with it!”

Gritting her teeth, Silver Spoon glared at Diamond Tiara. “Why should you care? It didn’t look any good on you!”

Rainbow Dash took a bite of her apple, chewed, and swallowed. “Seems like she wants to spill everyone’s secrets now,” she quipped nonchalantly.

“Oh, my…” Fluttershy murmured before putting on a contemplative expression. “Why would Sunset rile up the entire school if she just wanted revenge on u—”

Rainbow Dash continued as she motioned out the cafeteria full of angry shouts belonging to students pointing fingers at each other and holding up phones, “I haven’t seen so many arguments since… Well, since before Twilight Sparkle came here.”

“Erm… the first or the second time?”

“The second time, of course!” Rainbow Dash said. “I mean… with the Sirens stirring up the entire school, of course there were as many arguments then!”

Fluttershy nodded. “Okay, because the way you phrased it, it sounded like you meant the first time.”

“What? No way!” Rainbow Dash said. “That’d be a stupid thing to say!”

“Uh… right… Hence why I brou—”

Rainbow Dash turned away for a moment, returning her hand to her cheek. “All because of Anon-a-Miss…” she said in a gloomy tone.

“… I’m not sure why you keep stressing names and words at me, Rainbow,” Fluttershy said.

“Maybe because I’m stressed out!” Rainbow Dash fired back.

“Erm… okay…” Fluttershy took another look around the cafeteria. “Do you really think Sunset Shimmer is Anon-A-Miss?” Muttering to herself, Fluttershy added, “I’m really starting to question why Sunset would do this… erm… any of this…”

“I don’t know!” Rainbow Dash said as she rotated her palm upwards. “I don’t want to believe it, but… Well… That being said, I was still willing to believe it enough to bold-faced accuse Sunset Shimmer in public, possibly inducing long-term; some might say, unrepairable- emotional scars as some of the only friends who’ve tried to look past her past all simultaneously turned their backs on her figuratively and literally, leaving her a broken wreck on the school floor.”

Fluttershy’s butter-yellow face practically turned white as her turquoise eyes shot open wide. “I don’t… I don’t think I can do this anymore…” she muttered to herself. “This can’t be right…”

Rainbow Dash continued, seemingly taking no note of Fluttershy’s change of attitude. “Who else could’ve gotten all our secrets?”

With a very slight jerk of her head, the color returned to Fluttershy’s face as her eyes took on a slightly glazed over look. “I know what you mean,” Fluttershy said in a sad tone. “We let her into our hearts, and now…”

Rainbow Dash frowned. “Wait… is that what I sound like? Uh, RIGHT!” Rainbow Dash agreed. “She was our friend! More than a friend-she was family! I… okay, yeah… that does sound weird…”

“Maybe… Even family can make mistakes,” Fluttershy said.

“Okay, now you’re just making fun of me!” Rainbow Dash countered as she narrowed her eyes slightly. “Though…” Rainbow Dash took a moment to rub her temples. “I’m not sure why I’m even talking like this.” Something in Rainbow’s head began to stir, like a slow, dull-pain accompanied by a low-pitched hum, both slowly growing in intensity. “Or why… Or why I just went along with everyone kicking Sunset out of the group in the first place… I…” Rainbow winced slightly as the dull-ache became a sharp pain stabbing out from the inside of her head.

Fluttershy simply watched with a dead-eyed expression.

Rainbow Dash sucked air in through her teeth and pressed her palms hard and flat against her head as the intensity of noise and pain increased. “Sunset... Sunset… she’s our friend… our family… She doesn't deserve…”

And just like that, the noise and pain hit a crescendo and was gone, taking with it the clarity in Rainbow Dash’s eyes. She
lowered her hands from her head and stared back at Fluttershy for a moment, mirroring her friend’s empty stare. “I’m sorry… What were you saying?”

“Maybe… Even family can make mistakes,” Fluttershy said in the same exact tone as before, this time adding, “Mistakes like… accidently releasing your family members secrets all over school and then releasing everyone else’s secrets for… reasons…” She added evenly as a small trickle of blood dripped from her right nostril, blood that neither Rainbow Dash or Fluttershy seemed to take notice of.

Rainbow Dash sighed. “Maybe. I don’t know if you can forgive them, though…” Rainbow Dash paused for a moment and smiled to herself. “Which I’m sure isn’t a statement steeped in irony for me that I’ll regret saying later!”

‘…So that’s the whole story.’ Sunset penned sadly into her journal as she sat on her knees atop a makeshift bed made from books. She continued writing, ‘Nobody will believe that I’m not Anon-a-miss…’

Slightly less flowery looking words appeared in a golden glow on the page in front of Sunset. ‘Sunset, why are you writing out each ellipsis? I mean, if you just pause while writing I’ll wai’

‘…not even my friends.’

‘Okay, not even going answer me, it seem’

‘My former friends, I guess.’

Sunset Shimmer stared at the page expectantly. Waiting, and waiting, her expression becoming increasingly impatient.

‘…’

‘There you go with the elip’

‘WELL?! Don’t you have anything to say?!’

‘Right! Sorry! First, let me say that your story is basically the saddest one I’ve read! Of all time! And I read a lot of stories!’

‘Well… that’s some comfort… more than’

Words again began to appear on the page in front of Sunset, causing her to stop her own writing.

‘I’m reading likefour, no five stories right now!’

‘Wait… You’re READING as I pour my heart out to you?!’

‘Just some light reading! You have my full attention. I promise!’

Sunset began to shake with frustration, ‘HOW CAN I HAVE YOUR FULL ATTENTION IF YOU’RE READING FIVE STORIES WHILE TALKING TO ME?!’

There was a pause as Sunset waited impatiently for a reply

‘…TWILIGHT!’

‘Right! Sorry! You have over 50% of my full attention. I promise!’

Though clearly somewhat irritated, Sunset took a deep breath and continued writing. ‘Ugh… Well… As I was saying. At least your words are more comfort than these books I’m going to sleep on.’

‘More eplispsWait?! Why are you sleeping on books?!’

‘I’m sleeping in the library, Twilight…’

‘WHAT?! Why?! You’ve been in the world for years! You should have to have your own place by now! Besides, if you slept in the library every night, you would have run into me the first night I stayed there!”

“…”

“Ugh, stop’

“Why didn’t you just go across the mirror and sleep in your bed that night?!”

‘Why are you sleeping on books when you have a bed that doesn’t require a dimensional trip?!’

‘I… Okay… truth be told I haven’t slept or even really left the school for DAYS and I’m starting to CRASH and BURN, HARD! Now why didn’t you go home?!’

‘……..’

‘Twilight?’

‘……………………………………………’

‘Twilight, stop DOTTING at me and answer the question!’

‘I bucking love books, alright?!’

Sunset paused and pondered this response for a moment. ‘… Alright, fair. I guess we should talk about the situation I’m having with or friends erm… Like I guess I should have discussed with you a few days ago?’

‘Right! I’m so sorry, Sunset.’

‘No really… How the hell has this now just occurred to me?!’

‘I wish there was some way I could help you.’

Sunset looked at the pages in the book below as her world began to tear itself apart.

‘It’s never easy to lose good friends.’

Tears began to stream down Sunset’s face as she let out several tortured sobs. Mustering the last ounce of her strength, Sunset ran her pen across the page in a barely controlled, haphazard manner as her hand shook with grief, ‘TwiLIght? Are YoU AbanDoning ME, too?!’

‘What?! No! I could never do that to you! Sunset, you saved your world, and me, and our friends alongside it! The very idea that you’re capable of this Anon-a-Miss stuff at this point is patently ridiculous!’

Relief flooded through Sunset as she dried her eyes with a filthy, tear stained sleeve. Relief was soon replaced by anger as Sunset’s pen began to fly across the page. ‘Then what are these horse apples about you “wishing you could” help me?!’

‘Well, I’m more than happy to offer moral support, but I what you really need goes so much further than that!’

‘YEAH! LIKE YOU MAYBE WALKING A FEW DOZEN YARDS TO THE MAGIC MIRROR AND TALKING TO EVERYONE OVER HERE!’

‘Oh! Well, that’s certainly an idea!’

‘WHAT THE FLYING FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!?’

‘Well, okay. It’s just that I came up with this really pertinent story about Windigos and since it’s about that time of year, I thou’

Sunset suddenly rose to her feat and snagged her backpack, putting it on in a couple swift motions before she continued writing so hard she was practically ripping through the magically enhanced parchment of the book. ‘TWILIGHT SPARKLE! I AM GETTING UP AND MARCHING TO THE MIRROR RIGHT FUCKING NOW! IF YOU’RE NOT THERE TO MEET ME, I’M GOING TO MAKE MY TRANSFORMATION AT THE FALL FORMAL LOOK LIKE A NEWBORN THROWING A TEMPER TANTRUM BECAUSE IT’S PACIFIER FELL OUT OF ITS MOUTH!’

‘Okay! Okay! Just… Let me finish these five chapters I’m on and I’ll be right’

‘JUST GRAB FIVE BOOKMARKS!’

‘Or, right! Just… give me a few seconds.’

Sunset stopped in her tracks and spent the next few seconds angrily glaring at her book.

‘WELL?!’

‘I can’t find them.’

‘WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! YOU’VE GOT TO HAVE A FEW DOZEN BOOKMARKS OVER THERE!’

‘I’m checking in a drawer, but there’s just cutlery in this one.’

‘WELL THEN CHECK ANOTHER DRAWER! Wait… cutlery?!’

‘It’s no good! There’s just more cutlery in this drawer, too!’

‘...Twilight…’

‘Checking another drawer… Nope… more cutlery.’

‘Twilight, where the fuck are you in the castle?!’

‘Oh, in the kitchen.’

‘WHAT?!’

‘I’m in the kitchen! Oh, I guess you could have just reread that bit…’

‘...WHAT ARE YOU DOING LOOKING FOR BOOKMARKS IN THE KITCHEN?! WHY ARE YOU READING IN THE KITCHEN?!’

‘I got hungry, alright! I guess I can just go walk back to my study and get some bookmarks.’

Sunset let out a growl of absolute rage and began marching once more as her pen once again began nearly violently dancing across the page.

‘TWILIGHT! I’VE GOT NOTHING TO LOSE AT THIS POINT!

‘FIRE! DEATH! COMPRENDE?!’

‘Right! Friendship first! Books a close second… A close one and one half…”

The pen snapped in Sunset’s hand.

‘Meet you there!’

Soon, Twilight Sparkle found herself practically ejected out of the swirling limbo between worlds and onto Canterlot High’s hard and unforgiving walkway, left even colder than usual thanks to the absence of the sun above. Groaning to herself, Twilight rubbed her behind slightly. “We really should install some padding there… Like, maybe a carpet? Or heck, I bet Pinkie would be happy to get some pillo…” Twilight trailed off as she noticed an orange hand dangling in front of her, offering to help her up. She followed the hand visually to the owner, a filth caked Sunset Shimmer with tangled, unwashed hair. “AH!” Twilight yelped as she scooched back a bit.

Sunset stared at Twilight with a look of absolute sadness and loneliness. “I… I knew it! You don’t want to be my friend! No one wants to be my friend!”

Twilight quickly got to her feat. “Sunset! No! Sorry, it’s just…”

Sunset placed both hands over her mouth and gasped. “Unless… Of COURSE! It’s YOU! It has to be! THAT’S why you didn’t want to come over!”

Twilight gave Sunset a disbelieving look “What?! Sunset, that’s crazy! How would I even…”

Sunset began to pull at her face with her left hand, digging her nails into the skin under her eye and hooking her ring finger in her lips. “You… You must have used magic!”

“I… Okay, I’m good, but I’m not THAT—”

“Of COURSE! It all makes sense now! You got JEALOUS of the fact I was spending SO MUCH time with our friends and that you couldn’t because it means you’d have to WALK all the way to the mirror portal!”

Twilight’s forehead tightened. “…Are you listening to the words you’re saying? Because I am… and they sound pretty insane.”

“You’ve ABANDONED ME!” Sunset raised both her hands to the side of her head. “Everyone ABANDONED me!” Sunset began crying openly. “Just like my-sob-parents! Just like-choke-LIKE MOMMY! WELL, FINE!” Sunset balled her fist at her side. “IF NO ONE WANTS ME I’LL JUST GO OFF AND—”

Something seemed to suddenly snap behind Twilight’s eyes as if she was hit with a clarity she had been lacking just moments before. She immediately lunged forward as she extended her arms outward, she practically let her body crash into Sunset’s as she wrapped her arms around the distraught girl.

Then, Twilight simply held Sunset.

For several long moments, neither woman said anything. Sunset simply standing in place as if she couldn’t make sense of the current situation, Twilight holding onto Sunset as if someone’s life depended on it. The sounds of night filled the air, crickets chirping, a slight chilling breeze that rustled the trees of Canterlot High.

Finally, Sunset broke the silence, “Twilight?”

“Yes, Sunset?”

“What are you doing?”

“… Hugging some sense into you?”

“…Oh… well… Okay… but you’re supposed to slap sense into someone whose delirious.”

“…No… I like my way better.”

“Oh… Erm… Twilight?”

“Yes, Sunset?”

Sunset's turquoise eyes filled with tears, she managed to murmur out a faint, "I do too," before the maelstrom of sadness and frustration overtook her. The only sounds uttered were the distraught choking sobs and cries of an exhausted child as she clutched at and tore into Twilight's shoulders.

Twilight continued to do nothing. To say nothing. Instead, she simply held on to her friend as Sunset let out the emotion that had built up over these past few unforgiving days.

Finally, after several minutes of nearly uncontrollable crying, Sunset took a deep breath. “Okay… Thank you… I… I feel better…” Sunset smiled to herself. “Now… let’s go to the school where you can help me convince everyone that I’m not Anon-a-Miss.”

“Erm… right… Uh… Sunset?”

Sunset clutched Twilight tightly. “Thank you so much… I love you…” she choked out.

“Uh…” Twilight momentarily tightened her squeeze. “I love you, too… it’s just… erm…”

Sunset frowned heavily. “You’re… you’re not going to help me?!” she cried, her voice breaking once more.

“Of course, I’ll help you! It’s just… It’s night time… I’d be amazed if anyone is here…”

If Twilight or Sunset had been listening a little longer, they might have caught the squeaky “Acheew!” belonging to one Nurse Redheart.

“Oh…” Sunset said as the gears began to turn from behind her turquoise eyes. “Right…”

Twilight inhaled through her nose before it wrinkled in disgust, “Also… things might go over well if you’ve cleaned up a bit… It smells like you haven’t had a shower in a few days…”

Sunset cringed then sniffed the air herself. “Uh… Twilight?”

“Yes, Sunset…”

“It kinda smells like you haven’t showered in a few days either…”

Twilight cringed and broke the hug. She gave Sunset a sheepish look. “Sorry! I’ve been a bit preoccupied with reading. Like… Okay… Did you know that Windigos—”

Sunset narrowed her eyes. “Twilight?”

“Er, yes, Sunset?”

“No more talk about Windigos tonight.”

Chuckling to herself, Twilight rubbed the back of her head. “Right, okay…”

For another few moments, neither woman said anything. Instead, both just in stood in front of the large horse statue. Twilight rubbed her left arm with her right hand as Sunset looked down at her feet and shuffled them.

“Erm…” Twilight motioned to the mirror portal behind her with a thumb. “Did you erm… want to get cleaned up back at my castle…? Maybe sleep in a bed tonight?”

“Oh, sweet baby Christ on a trampoline, yes!”

Tear it Up or Anon-a-Abyss

One hand shakily holding onto the indifferently cold handrail of a staircase and the other tightly clutching to my journal- my lifeline; I descend down to join my fellow classmates of Canterlot High.

My name is Sunset Shimmer, and I have committed grievous sins.

I clutch the journal tighter to my body as I try to make myself as small as possible. I haven’t slept well the last few days… maybe even at all. My head throbs and my vision is blurred, but I’m doing everything I can to avoiding getting in the way of anyone.

My name is Sunset Shimmer, and I am struggling.

I thought I could move on from my wrong doing… That by showing that I’d changed, by saving those I once tormented, that I could earn peace. I thought… I had thought that maybe that was enough to earn forgiveness… maybe even acceptance.

My name is Sunset Shimmer, and I was wrong.

The toll my crimes have taken is clearly more than I can hope to pay. But the bill has still come due. As I try to quietly make my way through the crowd, someone bumps into me and knocks me straight to the ground.
My name is Sunset Shimmer, and I am still hated.

I drop my journal and as I’m prostrated on my hands and knees, their words come. Words reminding me of what I was once. Words accusing me of things I know I didn’t do, but things I was once more than capable of nonetheless. No one relents and I am battered down verbally with accusations of crimes I didn’t commit.

My name is Sunset Shimmer, and I deserve this.

Memories come at me now as I hug my knees. Memories of what I did. Memories of black text against white background cheering this strife creating stranger’s actions and memories of those pleading for them to stop… all lain at my feet. All while words from those from whom I just want forgiveness continue to attack me.

My name is Sunset Shimmer, and I want to die.

I have nothing, nothing of value at least. I have no friends. No family. I AM nothing. Apologizing isn’t enough. Being kind isn’t enough. Even saving everyone from a dark and terrible evil isn’t enough. All I have left is a desire. One small desire that’s drowning in abyss of my own creation

My name is Sunset Shimmer, and I scream.

“LOOOOOOOOVE MEEEE!” Sunset hollered at the top of her lungs as she collapsed into aheap of tears on the tiled floor of Canterlot High. “WON’T SOMEONE JUST LOOOOOVE MEEEEEEEeeeeee?!” With one more breath, the word “Please” eked out of Sunset’s lips.

Only sobs followed.

The students around Sunset quickly parted to give her some space, which was more or less the opposite she was hoping for. That is, the students around her save one. A light-purple skinned girl with burnt orange hair tied into a massive braid and emerald eyes that appeared to be constantly scanning her surroundings as if death was potentially hiding inside every room, locker, or drinking faucet took immediate and terrified notice of the collapsed girl in front of her. Her mind raced as she clutched her hands together and held them against her thick purple coat, which seemingly doubled as armor for the girl, as she pressed her back against a green locker. Her red plaid legging-clad legs began a panicked dance in place as she stared down at Sunset. The girl looked to her left and right like a scared animal searching for a bolt hole.

“Christ, Panic Station, what the hell did you do to the poor girl?!”

Panic Station turned, though no hint of relief crossed her face, she at least stopped her frenzied dancing as a mocha-skinned girl with long brown hair and light field green eyes that looked to be already done with the day strolled up. Her loose-fitting, thigh-length denim dress, unbuttoned from her midriff up, swayed slightly as she moved exposing hints of a white shirt underneath. A shirt that had clearly seen better, and less greasy, days. Her large brown boots landed heavily on the tiles of the floor as she raised a rolled-up sleeve clothed hand up to her chin and pondered the situation carefully.

“Me?!” Panic Station protested. “I didn’t do this! Associating with Sunset Shimmer is one of the fastest ways to increase one’s Potential Incident Steering Student to Death or Injury Quotient! I mean… There’s been studies.”

The other girl turned and glared at Panic Station. “Yes, I remember your essays… Especially being included in them.”

Panic Station frowned back. “Well, you should be more choosey with your part-time jobs, Oddjob! I mean, working at a, most likely, haunted restaurant for children?! Especially when children restaurants are already five times more likely to be haunted than most restaurants! Not to mention all the other insane stuff you do. I mean… selling carpets and chemistry sets is waaaay safer job, provided all the carpets are kept near ground level and you don’t actually use the chemistry sets!”

“Ugh, sounds boring,” Oddjob replied.

“Boring is good!” Panic Station insisted, she began to idly fiddle with her massive braid. “Boring is safe…”

Oddjob rolled her eyes. “Then find a nice boring friend who doesn’t enlarge your PISSDIQ!”

Panic Station looked down at her white slip-on shoes. “I tried. The girl with the smallest PISSDIQ is named Wallflower Blush, and I just can’t find her!”

Standing about an arm’s length away, a student with light-green skin and messy, long green hair folded her arms across her brown-and-tan striped sweater and glared at Panic Station with dull-brown eyes sitting above freckles. “I’m standing right here,” Wallflower informed. “I’ve been trying to get you to tell me more about your PISSDIQ for weeks!”

“Ahhh!” Panic Station immediately leapt toward Oddjob and buried her face in the other girls’ chest. “Stranger danger! Stranger danger!”

Oddjob sighed and extended a hand to Wallflower. “Sorry, Panic Station is bad at first impressions. And usually seconds… and thirds. I’m Oddjob, and you are?”

Wallflower lowered her eyelids. “I’m Wallflower, we sit next to each other in third period English and even worked on a group project together Freshman year.”

“Oh, sorry!” Oddjob said. “That was a while ago, though.”

Wallflower continued and began to list items off on her fingers. “And Sophomore year, twice Junior year, and two times so far this year.”

“Uh…” Oddjob retracted her hand and nervously rubbed the back of her head and forced a smile. “Well, erm… Did I at least make a good first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh impression?”

Wallflowers left eye ticked. “We’ve also been in 8 other classes in this school alone.”

Oddjob looked down at her fingers in confusion. “Uh.. erm… What number was I up to?”

Wallflower through her hands into the air. “THAT’S IT! This is LITERALLY all Sunset Shimmer’s fault!”

Panic Station turned her head and peeked out from her hiding spot composed of her own coat and Oddjob’s chest. “Erm… as much as Sunset’s very presence terrifies me, it’s uh… it’s demonstrably not!”

“SHE WON’T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE ME ON THAT STUPID ANON-A-MISS PAGE SHE MADE!”

Oddjob looked down at the girl in a heap who was still sobbing her heart, soul, and possibly a concerning amount of personal hydration out. “Right, ‘cause the evidence has really piled up the last few days she actually made that stupid thing.”

Wallflower clenched a fist to her chest. “That’s it! I’m going off to plan my revenge against Sunset! Sunset, who is clearly responsible for me not being noticed by anyone,” she declared as she stormed off.

“But revenge is a statistically unsafe activity to involve oneself in!” Panic Station exclaimed. “I mean… there’s been stuuuudiiiieeees!”

Oddjob just shook her head. “Forget her.”

“Wow, done and done,” Panic Station replied.

“…Don’t…forget… me…”

Oddjob looked down at Sunset Shimmer, who hadn’t moved save for the extra work her tear ducts were putting out. She sighed. “Right, we need to do something about her.”

“Ah! No, we don’t!” Panic Station insisted.

Oddjob took Panic Station by the hand and dragged her out into the crowd of students. “Come on!”

“PISSDIQ RISING! PISSDIQ RISING!”

Meanwhile, As Sunset’s wail echoed down the hallway of Canterlot high, even the five girls who were sure... ish that she was the one responsible for the chaos of the school had reason to pause, and at that moment the stranglehold on their minds suddenly broke like a wave on the shore.

The student body of Canterlot High was giving Sunset plenty of space. Rainbow Dash looked across the hallway to regard the wretched woman. “That… that hurt my soul…” she admitted, eyes wide, heart simultaneously pounding in her chest and breaking.

Rarity likewise kept her eyes on the scene in front of her. “We don’t have souls anymore, darling,” she replied, the inside of her mouth dry as a sun-scorched desert. “Those clearly belong to the Devil at this point.”

In a strained and quiet tone of voice, Fluttershy uttered, “I. Can’t. Do. This.” Slowly, Fluttershy turned her hands so she was looking down at her palms and simply stared down at them in wide-eyed revulsion.

Pinkie Pie shook her head. “Yeah… this isn’t funny.”

The other four girls all paused and stared at Pinkie in disbelief.

Pinkie continued, “Actually… I don’t think it ever was funny…”

“You… you thought this was a joke?!” Rarity exclaimed in complete befuddlement.

Pinkie returned the baffled expression. “Well… Yeah! A prank, you know? Why else would we do and say all those mean things to Sunset Shimmer?” Pinkie thought about this for a moment. “Wow… this was a really bad prank…”

Rainbow Dash threw her hands into the air. “Why would you even think we’d do this as a prank?!”

Again, Pinkie mirrored the person speaking to her and likewise threw her hands in the air. “I don’t know! Why would you even just keep going along with this if it wasn’t?!” Pinkie smacked a hand against her head. “Girls, I at least know I’m a bit—” Pinkie held her hands to either side of her face and waved them a bit “—different. Maybe I’d have said something if it was just one or two of you doing this, but all four of you?!” Pinkie sighed and shook her head. “It’s a good thing I already habitually take hard-core drugs…”

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“What?” Pinkie parroted back at her.

Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy all exchanged horrified looks.

“I… I don’t think… We… we don’t know we did it exactly…” Fluttershy muttered. “It was… it was like… a voice telling me what to do… and smothering out thoughts of what I knew was right…”

Pinkie just rolled her eyes. “Oh, who doesn’t have voices in their heads?”

Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy again exchanged glances, this time ones of confusion.

Pinkie glanced upwards and began talking to no one in particular. “Pinkie, eat five quarts of whipped cream for breakfast. Pinkie, you should start a riot because we won a cross country dual meet! Pinkie, you should take off your clothes to make an impromptu cheer banner!”

“Pinkie, dear,” Rarity began, “you’ve literally done all of those things in the last month!”

“True!” Pinkie admitted happily. “But I at least tune out all the voices telling me to torture my friends to death and then bake and eat them!”

Applejack simply stood with arms crossed as she stared at Sunset who was still huddled in a puddle of her own tears. “She’s fakin’,” Applejack asserted.

The Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy all turned and stared at Applejack with looks of astonishment far beyond anything that had just been pointed toward Pinkie.

“Applejack!” Pinkie exclaimed shrilly. “What the actual fuck?!”

“I…erm… one hundred percent agree with Pinkie,” Fluttershy said.

“We all agree with Pinkie!” Rarity added.

“Yeah!” Rainbow Dash chimed in. “Just what does Sunset have to do to prove herself at this point?!”

Applejack rolled her eye. “Maybe more than throwing a little tantrum at school?”

Again, all the girls simply stared at Applejack with slacked jaws and disbelieving eyes.

“Wow…” Rainbow Dash uttered. “Just… ‘wow’.”

Rarity tilted her head slightly. “Applejack, I throw tantrums.” She pointed at Sunset. “That is a complete and utter mental and emotional breakdown.”

Applejack just rolled her eyes. “If ya say so…”

“There you all are!” Oddjob exclaimed as she stormed up, Panic Station in tow with the kind of reluctant, scared struggling where one fights against their bindings but doesn’t possess the strength to escape. “What the hell are you all doing standing around here for!” she demanded. She motioned towards Sunset. “Sunset looks like she’s ready to cry herself until she dies of dehydration!”

Panic Station let out a scared whimper and opted to clutch onto Oddjob as opposed to try and escape her clutches.

Oddjob continued, “Sunset is clearly having a complete and utter mental and emotional breakdown over there!”

Rarity looked at Applejack and motioned to Oddjob. “There? You see?”

Applejack’s expression simply turned grumpier as Oddjob looked over the five in confusion. “I thought you all were like… the friendship police and didn’t let stuff like this happen!”

Rarity, Pinkie, and Fluttershy all gave Oddjob guilty looks.

“Look,” Rainbow Dash began, “we’re working up to it, alright?!”

“Well work FASTER!” Oddjob exclaimed.

Rainbow Dash cringed. “Okay, yeah… Now THAT really hurt my soul…”

Applejack spoke up, “Hey! You don’t know what we’ve been through!”

Oddjob rolled her eyes. “Oh, this should be good…”

“This Anon-a-Miss person, A.K.A. Sunset Shimmer—”

“Allegedly!” Rarity added.

“—posted my embarrassing family nickname for the world to hear!”

“Oh, you mean Piggly-Wiggly?” a young voice called out.

Applejack looked over at a trio of younger girls. “Not now, Apple Bloom!”

Apple Bloom frowned. “Okay, but yer talkin’ about Piggly-Wiggly, right?”

“Ah said not now!”

Apple Bloom sighed and began to dejectedly walk away. “This isn’t workin’ at all…” she shook her head “It’s like us creatin’ a site that forces my sister to deal with constant bullying and being made fun of somehow takes up more of her free time!”

Panic Station watched as the freshman girl wandered off and turned back to the rest of the group. “Uh. Did anyone else hear—”

Oddjob gave Applejack a disbelieving look. “That’s it?! That’s what’s got you so upset?!”

“—You know what? It’s fine. Getting involved is inherently more dangerous than not. I mean... there’s been studies…”

“Hey!” Applejack protested. “People have been leaving notes in my looker and drawing pictures of pigs for days!”

Oddjob threw her hands in the air. “Pretty much EVERYONE has been targeted at this point!”

“I haven’t,” Panic Station said. “I’ve spent most this week hiding in the field shed inside a fort made out of sports equipment.”

Rarity nose wrinkled. “That sounds—”

Pinkie gasped. “AAAAAAWESSSSSOME!”

Rarity tilted her head towards Pinkie. “I was going to say redundant.”

“Erm,” Fluttershy interrupted. “Shouldn’t we go help Sunset?”

“Quiet, Fluttershy!” Applejack snapped.

—“Erm… I almost always am…”—

“This is important!”

—“It’s...uh... definitely not…”—

Oddjob looked around at the students in the halls, many either turning a blind eye to the state Sunset Shimmer is in or taking pictures or videos with the phone. "You know, whoever put that information out isn't the only one to blame, right? I mean, none of this would matter if the school wasn't apparently filled to the brim with douche-nozzles who universally have nothing better to do than make fun of people... for some reason."

Pinkie grinned and added, "And don't forget the literal thousands of other people who joined the site just to get in on the fun!"

Oddjob rolled her eyes. "Right... fun..."

Applejack glared at Oddjob. “Well? What’s happened to you that was so bad?!”

Oddjob sighed. “I got my hands stuck in a blow dryer I was trying to fix at Greasy’s Pizza! To get out, a co-worker lubed my hands up with a mound of the excess grease we keep in the kitchen! While I was working to get both my hands out of the tight hole I had jammed them in, the stupid thing turned on and shot a wad of hot, white goo all over my face!”

“Wow…” Rainbow Dash uttered. “Phrasing times, like… four…”

“Anyway, someone took the security footage and put it online!” Oddjob shook her head. “And now everyone has been calling me ‘Grease Girl’!” Turning away for a moment, Oddjob cupped hands to her mouth. “’HANDJOB AND BLOWJOB WERE RIGHT FUCKING THERE, YOU DUMB SHITS!”

Applejack folded her arms across her chest. “Okay, but this was a betrayal of trust!” She shook her head. “Sunset or whoever did this really made feel sorry Ah trusted them. Even if someone, probably Sunset—”

“Allegedly!” Rarity exclaimed, narrowing her eyes.

“—apologized for this, Ah dunno if Ah could ever forgive them! At least, Ah’m sure it’d take me a long time to trust them again… which is a statement ah’m sure won’t prove ironic in the future.”

“There you are, Sunset!” a familiar voice called out.

The girls and turned and watched as Twilight Sparkle bolted past them.

Panic Station gasped. “No, no, no, no, no! Twilight Sparkle! One Hundred percent of the time she shows up at school, some disaster happens!”

Oddjob glanced down at her friend. “Well at least someone is doing something about Sun-Woah!”

Quickly grabbing Obbjob’s arm and bolting away, Panic Station made a mad dash for any direction the opposite of Twilight Sparkle would. “Nope! Nope! I don’t want to be crushed by rocks, hit by potentially radioactive rainbow beams, or tripped into today!”

The other five girls momentarily watched Oddjob and Panic Station part as a familiar white-skinned woman in a nurses outfit rounded a hallway corner.

“AH!” Panic Station screamed in terror as she froze.

“Oh, hi Panic Station, Oddjob!” Nurse Redheart greeted.

“Uh, hey!” Oddjob greeted as Panic Station once again retreated behind her and used her as a human shield.

Redheart held up an IV bag of blood. “Either of you need a top-up?” She leaned forward and raised a hand to her mouth as she whispered, “Fresh from the Principal’s office and still warm…”

Oddjob laughed nervously. “Uh… No… we’re goo—”

Panic Station suddenly reached into her coat pocket and leaned past Oddjob. “Pocket garlic!” she shouted as she threw a handful of garlic cloves in Redheart’s face.

“Ow! Hey!” Redheart protested as the garlic bounced off her face. “Not cool! Don’t throw food in the hallways!”

Panic Station once again bolted, dragging Oddjob behind her.

Redheart bent down and began picking up the garlic cloves, one by one. “And I’m even allergic to garlic,” she sighed, “I get a rash and everything!”

“Sorry, Nurse Redheart!” Oddjob called out. “She’s normally uh… always like this!”

At the other end of the hall, Twilight made her way up to Sunset where she didn’t hesitate to bend down and slowly raise Sunset back to her feet. “Why did you run off to school by yourself?! Why didn’t you wake me up?!”

“I don’t know!” Sunset brittlely replied. The broken girl barely held herself up in Twilight’s arms as her tears still streamed down her cheeks. Sunset’s eyes bounced back in forth in their sockets as if desperately searching for an answer that made any degree of sense. “I just… thought… you know… You probably needed your sleep… and that it’s erm… important that you’re well rested… uh…”

Twilight’s face tightened in confusion. “Your life is unraveling at the seams, Sunset! Why the heck would I even humor the idea that sleep is more important than a friend’s well-being?! Wait…” Twilight scrutinized Sunset’s face. While Sunset had clearly washed, had finally tended to her hair, and was wearing clothes substantially cleaner than anything she had worn for the past several days, there were still deep, dark circles around eyes that seemingly refused to focus on anything. “Did you get any sleep last night?”

“Does… Does holding a pillow to my face and crying into it all night count?”

“No,” Twilight said flatly. “No, it does not.”

“Oh… in that case I didn’t get any sleep…” Sunset admitted.

“Howdy, Twilight!” Applejack greeted as she and the other girls approached Twilight and Sunset. “Ya might want to back away from Sunset there. We’re pretty sure she’s up to her old tricks.”

The other four girls around Applejack all expressed words suggesting they strongly disagreed.

Twilight joined them. “Girls, what the actual fuck?!”

“That’s what I said!” Pinkie interjected.

Rarity raised her hands up defensively. “Darling, we’re all ready to believe Sunset Shimmer now!”

“I’m not,” Applejack retorted.

“And I always believed her! I just thought we were pulling the most absurdly complicated and mean-spirited prank ever!” Pinkie said in a bubbly tone.

Rarity sighed. “Three of us are ready to believe Sunset, one of us is Pinkie Pie, and the last one…” Rarity rubbed an index finger under her lower lip. “Hrrrmmm… How should I put this?”

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. “‘Is just determined to be a complete asshole?’” she suggested.

Rarity nodded. “Perfect. Couldn’t have worded it better myself.”

Sunset’s eyes lit up. “Wait! I got it!” she bent down and recovered her journal. “I know you don’t trust me-a-and I can’t prove I’m innocent-but please—”

Applejack just sighed. “Well, why bother then?”

Pinkie tightened her brow and puffed out her lips as she gave Applejack a scrutinizing look. “Who hurt you, Applejack? Who hurt you?!”

Applejack pointed to Sunset.

“Allegedly!” Rarity stressed. “‘Allegedly’ is a pretty key word here, dear.”

Sunset held out the journal “Look at this. I’ve been telling Twilight everything that’s been happening! I even wrote to her on the nights we had slumber parties!”

The other girls all exchanged concerned glances.

“Uh… Sunset…?” Twilight began.

“Oh, God…” Fluttershy raised both her hands up to her mouth. “I-I think we broke her…” she uttered in terrified alarm.

Rarity stood next to Sunset and put a hand on her shoulder. “Sunset, we don’t need to see that journal… We believe you.”

Glimmers of hope began to dance in Sunset’s eyes. “You… you do?!”

Fluttershy rubbed the back of her head. “We’re just not sure why you didn’t show us that right away…”

Pinkie nodded. “Yeppers! Also, Twilight is right here… in front of you.”

Sunset rubbed her eyes. “Oh… right… I am so very, very tired…”

Fluttershy walked up and placed her hand on Sunset’s other shoulder. “Erm… Sunset, do you want a smoothie, or maybe a milkshake? I mean those always make me feel better!”

Pinkie gasped. “Yay! Milkshakes!”

Still bleary-eyed, Sunset nodded. “Yes, please…”

The girls began to shuffle on with Rarity and Fluttershy helping Sunset keep her balance as Pinkie excitedly bounded in front of the group and Rainbow Dash took the rear.

Twilight watched the group go in confusion. “So, uh… are any of you going to apologize to Sunset, or…?”

“Come on, Twilight!” Pinkie Pie called out. “Milkshakes!”

“Well, okay…” Twilight said with a shrug as she followed the group, “but I’ve got this really poignant story about windigos I want to tell when we get there!”

“Yay! Storytime!” chirped Pinkie. “Storytime and milkshakes!”

Shaking her head, Applejack, too, began to follow the group. “She’s playing you!” she called out.

“Sometimes, all you can do is stay strong. Stay yourself. And find your family,” Twilight concluded as the other girls at the table all stared at her over their drinks.

There was a beat of silence as everyone attempted to process what they just heard.

“So, uh… What did you think?” Twilight asked.

Pinkie broke into a fountain of tears. “It’s so beautiful!”

“Uh… sure…” Rainbow Dash said, her eyebrows tightening slightly. “Beautiful is certainly… a word…”

“It wasn’t beautiful!” Sunset exclaimed. “It was barely anything!”

Twilight's cheeks puffed out into a pout before she turned and frowned at Sunset and mumbled back, "But.. but I spent all of a few seconds coming up with it when we were writing to each other last night!”

Sunset took a quick sip of her milkshake and sighed. “Twilight, you asked me if I ‘remembered the story of the windigos’ just so you could point out that nobody needs windigos to ‘spread hatred and chaos!’” Sunset threw her hands up in the air. “Furthermore, before that you mentioned they fed on fighting and hatred, not caused it!” Sunset stood up and slammed her palms on the table, causing it to shake with a heavy ‘thud!’ “I mean… do you remember the story of the windigos!? Because you apparently forgot it halfway through telling your own story about them!”

Twilight whimpered. “Okay, but what about the last bit? About family?”

Sunset motioned out to the other girls. “My ‘family’ abandoned me, remember?! I mean… I could ask them to ask themselves if the Sunset Shimmer they know, the real Sunset Shimmer, the person I am now, would do that Anon-a-Miss stuff, but if they were real family, I shouldn’t HAVE to do that.”

Starting with Fluttershy and moving from Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and finally Pinkie Pie, the girls did the ‘cringe’ version of the wave and shrank back in their chairs slightly.

“She’s got us there…” Rainbow Dash admitted dejectedly.

Rarity tossed Sunset a wayward glance. “Do you at least feel better?” she asked hopefully.

Sunset took another big, angry sip from her milkshake straw. “Sure, but the bar was pretty fucking low…”

Fluttershy stared down at her lap, either unwilling or unable to look Sunset in the eyes. “Too bad we still don’t know who the real Anon-a-Miss is.”

“Well, Twilight’s story did help me figure out something!” Sunset admitted.

“Really?!” Twilight said, her face lighting up.

“Settle down,” Sunset replied dryly. “Only one word was all that useful.” Sunset looked over at Applejack. “AJ, you said us and your family are the only ones who knew your nickname, right?”

“Yeah…” Applejack said hesitantly. “But I know none of my family would tell—”

“Huh…” Pinkie uttered. “Apple Bloom did literally blurt it out over the phone to us all…”

“Well, I trust you five— I mean you four,” Applejack corrected. She looked around, her eyes landing on Twilight, and added: “Well, I guess you five if’n we’re counting Twilight.”

The girls once again went silent as they all stared at Applejack.

“Seriously, darling,” Rarity began. “What the actual fuck?”

“Well… Maybe someone else overheard it?” Rainbow Dash suggested with a shrug.

Sunset leaned down and propped her head up with her hand. “Maybe… But what about the party photos?” She bit at her lower lip. “I had my phone with me the whole time after the party…”

Rarity motioned towards Sunset. “And the only people at the party were us! Well, and my family of course.”

Sunset’s eyes flew open wide. “Your family? Wait…”

Both Twilight’s forehead and lips contorted in confusion. “Sunset, you actually opened this conversation talking about family… You even mentioned AJ’s family with this nickname…”

Sunset continued, “Dash, Anon-a-Miss posted a science paper you wrote, right?”

“Uh, yeah?” Rainbow Dash replied in a clearly annoyed tone.

“Did you have soccer practice the day you got your report back?” Sunset asked.

Rainbow Dash thought for a moment. “Soccer practice? Um, yeah.”

Sunset’s lips pulled upwards slightly. “And the junior team was practicing too, right?”

Twilight shook her head as if to clear it. “Sunset, Rainbow doesn’t have any siblings younger than her… or older for that matter…”

“Well, sure,” Rainbow Dash answered Sunset. “They usually do.”

“I know who Anon-a-Miss is,” Sunset began. “It’s—”

The bell of the shop’s front door rang.

“Yeah. It was us.”

The girls looked over as Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo all stood before them, all three looking particularly ashamed.

“WHAT?!” Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Pinkie all exclaimed in unison as many of the girls rose to their feet.

“It’s pretty obvious if you think about it,” Twilight with an irritated expression on her face. “Sunset… is… is this how you feel like all the time?! Because, if so, I get why you can be so snippy!”

“Apple Bloom! How could you?!” Applejack cried.

“Yeah!” Pinkie chimed in. “And why did you three just show up right as Sunset was going to reveal who the culprit was?!”

Apple Bloom shrugged. “Ah saw Sunset freak out and decided to get Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo so we could confess… Ah guess we just showed up specifically at the most convenient moment.”

“Well…” Pinkie Pie turned and stared directly at one of the shop’s four walls. “That’s just lazy writing.”

“We didn’t mean it to go this far!” Apple Bloom insisted. “Honest!”

“But why did you do it?” Sunset asked, leaning her hand on the table.

“Because… because of you, Sunset,” Apple Bloom admitted as she looked down at her feet. “I was jealous that my sister was spendin’ time with you and her friends ‘stead of her family. I wanted to make you look bad. So I made up Anon-a-Miss and posted the story about Applejack and made it look like you’d done it.”

“I saw the site,” Twilight interjected. “You kinda laid it on a bit thick, to be perfectly honest.” She pursed her lips. “Also, by that exact logic, it’s all of Applejack’s friends and not just Sunset who was the problem… I mean... if you actually thought to remove or distancing your sisters from anything that wasn't spending time with you, you could have also set fire to their places of work!”

Scootaloo let out a massive sigh. "Hey, that was MY idea! But someone—" Scootaloo turned and glared at Apple Bloom "— complained that they'd lose their livelihood, home, and having food every day if we did that plan!"

"You wanted to set fire to our orchard!" Apple Bloom protested.

Scootaloo nodded. "But think of all the time you'd get to spend with your sister in the homeless shelter!"

Twilight rubbed the back of her head and turned towards her friends, "Erm... you have therapy on this planet, right?"

Tossing her friends a worried look, Sweetie Belle spoke up, “Apple Bloom told me about it, uh... our sister's friends taking away time we might have to spend with them... Not the fire thing... and… and I felt the same way! So at Rarity’s party, while you were asleep I snuck in, took Sunset’s phone,”

—Twilight’s eyes narrowed. “You’re talking directly to Sunset. There’s no need to mention her by name…”—

“and downloaded her pictures and videos.”

Scootaloo stepped up as Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom turned on the waterworks. “Anon-a-Miss got out of hand,” she admitted.

Twilight sighed as the crease on her forehead deepened. “Scootaloo… Rainbow Dash isn’t your family, nor does she live with you… You had nothing to gain from any of this.”

“People started sending her OTHER secrets, new pictures…” Scootaloo continued as if Twilight wasn’t even there. “We posted everything! Even though it didn’t help us at all and only served to make things at the school worse for most everyone and much, muchworse for Sunset.”

“…This must be what going mad feels like,” mused Twilight.

“We’re so sorry!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed as a big smile crossed her face and practically tackle hugged Sunset. “We had no idea what would happen to you!”

“And again!” Scootaloo added. “Totally willing to let it continue despite the fact there was zero benefit to us at all!”

Twilight’s left eye began to spasm.

Smiling warmly, Sunset took a half-step back from Sweetie Bell. “It’s okay girls, I forgive you. Believe me… I know what it’s like to feel like you’re all alone…” Sunset’s smile seemed to break slightly as it went just a few degrees askew. “I mean… being left out of a couple slumber parties isn’t close at all to the hell you put me through the last few days! Not… not even remotely close. But I forgive you.”

“No, this must be what going mad feels like,” Twilight postulated.

Applejack sighed and took off her hat as she raised fingertips to her forehead. “You girls…” she mumbled.

“Please forgive us, big sister!” Apple Bloom pleaded. She cupped her hands to together. “We’re really sorry!”

Applejack smiled wide at her little sister. “ ‘Course I forgive you, Apple Bloom. You’re family!”

Twilight threw her hands up in the air and stood up. “Fuck it! I’m out!” she declared as she quickly rushed to the door. “I need to go home before my brain liquefies in my skull and starts leaking out my ears.”

Applejack looked over at Sunset as the bell to the shop rang once more, signaling Twilight’s exit. “But, you know, real family.” Applejack looked back down at Apple Bloom. “The type of family where I’m immediately ready to look past yer mistakes and welcome you with open arms just because you seem so plum sorry!” she added, swinging her free arm in front of her.

An uncomfortable silence came over the other girls as Apple Bloom shouted “Yeeee-hawww!” and gave her sister a big hug.

“… Applejack…” Fluttershy began. “Erm… what the actual fuck?”

AND SO…

‘The holidays are here at last!’ Rarity typed as she stood in front of her computer monitor. ‘My most favorite time of the year!’ Smiling to herself, Rarity hit ‘Send’ before she turned around and grabbed a pink jacket lined with faux-white fur. “Sweetie Belle! Are you ready to head out?” she called.

“Yeah! Let’s go!” Sweetie Belle replied.

Soon the pair were outside, their boots crunching against the fresh snow as clumps of the white flakes fell around them.

“Thanks for inviting me and Apple Bloom and Scootaloo along, even after… what we did,” Sweetie Belle said with a smile.

“You can just say your friends,” Rarity interjected. “I’d know who you’d be talking about.”

Sweetie Belle continued, “It means a lot to me that by being completely horrible we’re actually rewarded for our actions!”

“Well, you’ve done what you can,” Rarity said as she and Sweetie Belle piled into the back of a blue station wagon, presumably driven by one of their parents who presumably wasn’t important enough to even show. “You took down Anon-a-Miss’s profile, you told Principal Celestia what you did, you’ve apologized to the other students you hurt... And you’ve had many conversations with me where we keep on talking about what happened via heavy exposition.”

“… and we got six months of detention,” Sweetie Bell offered.

Rarity nodded. “Yes, the compromising of some of you girls’ free time during the fleeting years of your high school youth is certainly proper recompense for the lives you’ve trampled all over,” she said without a hint of sarcasm.

“But all the stuff that Anon-a-Miss put out there is still out there. WE can’t take that back.”

Rarity closed her eyes. “No, you can’t.” She placed a sympathetic hand on Sweetie Belle’s shoulder. “But you tried, and that’s what counts! Not the horrendously terrible actions you did and continued despite the fact the unintended consequences were staring you dead in the face on a daily basis, but the fact that you’ve made some sort of attempt to make the barest of amends. I think we’ll be okay, even if a few of our secrets are out.”

Sweetie Belle frowned. “But… what about the kids you said whose lives we trampled all over?”

“Oh, I just meant us and our immediate friends, specifically,” Rarity said. “There is damage you three did that is completely unrepairable…” She flipped a hand out matter-of-factually. “Sunset just seems like an empty husk of her former self now, for instance. I doubt she’ll ever be the same.”

Sweetie Belle frowned at her sister’s words. “Well, we are sorry about all the trouble we caused. I mean like… really, really sorry.”

“And I’m sorry that you and Apple Bloom and Scootaloo were feeling left out.”

“…You can just say my two friends, Rarity. I’d know who you’d be talking about.”

Rarity continued as a trickle of blood began to ran down her white ear. “We shouldn’t have made you feel alone. And because we did, clearly we’re at fault to some degree and that means your actions are less egregious. So it’s okay that Sunset Shimmer took the brunt of the blame for… reasons…” Rarity looked outside. “Okay, looks like we’re here. We’re so fortunate that Applejack’s home was exactly far enough for us to have that short conversation we had in exactly the time it took whoever it is that’s driving this car to take us here in the snow.”

Smiling with glassy, unfocused eyes, Sweetie Belle leaned over and hugged her sister. “I love you, Rarity!”

“And I love you, Sweetie Belle!” Rarity said returning the hug.

Sweetie Belle broke the hug, a notable amount of blood dripping from her nose.

“After all, you’re family!” Rarity stated as the two sisters undid their seatbelts and left the car, Rarity making no mention of Sweetie’s nose or the fresh stain on her own jacket. “Real family! Who I will always give the benefit of the doubt to no matter how horrible you act or may have acted in the past towards me or the people I care about!”

Rarity smiled wide as the blood from her ear continued to drip onto the white snow below. “And you know what I love about family?” Rarity asked as she approached the front door, already open as Applejack and Apple Bloom stood inside and smiled at the approaching girls.

“Uh, n—”

“No matter how big your family is…” Rarity said as the pair walked into the house, Applejack already having retreated all the way back to the kitchen to talk with Sunset Shimmer and Big Mac as Apple Bloom waved from the snack table with Pinkie Pie as if she was just now seeing Rarity and Sweetie Belle for the first time today.

—"You didn’t give me time to ans” —

“…There’s always room for more,” Rarity concluded.

So, the extended family sat by a nice Hearth’s Warming fire. Sunset, her friends that had betrayed her, and the sisters and friends that had betrayed them, also Big Mac and Granny Smith who lived there but didn’t bother to invite any of their own friends… Oh, and also Maud for no apparent reason other than she brought pizza to the first slumber party, but not Limestone or Marble, because they’re less popular and hadn’t really been established outside of flashbacks yet.

Everyone sat, laughed, and basked in the warm glow of family. And nobody had an ill word to say. Not about what happened, and certainly not about blood leaking from either their own or each other’s various orifices. No, not even that or the cold, dead eyes everyone had with tiny glints of desperation and anguish hidden inside.

Desperation from wanting to be free.

And anguish from the knowledge their actions may never be their own ever again.

And they all lived happily ever after, whether they actually wanted to or not.

Author's Note

Break the Curse or Anon-a-Fix

That’s what COULD have Happened.

But how about this?

The bell of the shop’s front door rang.

“Yeah. It was us.”

The girls looked over as Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo all stood before them, all three looking particularly ashamed.

“WHAT?!” Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Pinkie all exclaimed in unison as many of the girls rose to their feet.

“Apple Bloom! How could you!” Applejack cried.

“Yeah!” Pinkie chimed in. “And why did you three just show up right as Sunset was going to reveal who the culprit was?!”

Apple Bloom shrugged. “Ah saw Sunset freak out and decided to get Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo so we could confess… Ah guess we just showed up specifically at the most convenient moment.”

“Well…” Pinkie Pie turned and stared directly at one of the shop’s four walls. “That’s just a reference I already made in the first alternate ending.”

“We didn’t mean it to go this far!” Apple Bloom insisted. “Honest!”

Sunset raised a hand. “Apple Bloom, it’s okay!”

“It is?!” The trio of new arrivals said in disbelief.

Sunset nodded. “This experience has taught me a valuable lesson about family.”

The girls around Sunset all smiled expectantly.

Sunset continued, “and that’s that it sure the flying fuck isn’t any of you deplorable cunt-knuckles.”

You could hear a pin drop.

Twilight swallowed. “Does that include me?”

Sunset leveled an index finger at Twilight. “You’re on probation!”

Twilight mulled that over for a moment. “That’s tough but fair.”

“Also, I live at your castle now!”

Twilight nodded. “Sure! I think you Spike and I will get along perfectly!” Twilight laughed. “Unless of course, we get someone else to live there who interrupts our dynamic in hilarious ways, amIright?!”

“Sounds oddly specific!” Sunset said. “But perfectly agreeable! Let’s roll!”

“B-but what about your life here, darling?!” Rarity exclaimed. “What about your life as a human?”

“Well…” Sunset pondered this for a moment. “There is one thing I’ll miss about living here.”

“Really?” Rainbow Dash asked, her face lighting up.

Sunset nodded. “Yep! The birds!”

Fluttershy smiled. “Oh, birdies? I love birdies.”

Sunset continued, “Specifically these two right here!” With that, Sunset raised her hands up and gave all the girls of Canterlot High the double deuce.

Some of the girls let out whimpers and others glared at the display in front of them.

“Twilight, help me out here,” Sunset requested.

“Uh… Oh!” Twilight added her two middle fingers to the mix. “Okay… but what does this mean?”

Sunset gently grabbed Twilight by the arm and walked them both to the door. “It sure the fuck doesn’t mean ‘peace amongst worlds,’” Sunset said as the bell to the café door rang. “Ponies OUT!” she added as she and Twilight departed, the door closing behind them.

For a long moment, no one said anything, all of them simply electing to stare at the door that Sunset and Twilight had just left through.

Finally, after a profound sense of dread had fallen over almost all the girls present, Applejack chuckled and looked at her friends. “What a bitch, am I ri—Whoa, Nelly!”

Applejack raised her hands up in front of her face as four glasses full of half drank items were suddenly lobbed at her.

Well, that was certainly a thing!

But what about…

The bell of the shop’s front door rang.

“Yeah. It was us.”

The girls looked over as Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo all stood before them, all three looking particularly ashamed.

“WHAT?!” Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Pinkie all exclaimed in unison as many of the girls rose to their feet.

“It’s pretty obvious if you think about it,” Twilight with an irritated expression on her face. “Sunset… is… is this how you feel like all—”

Pinkie leaned over and covered Twilight’s mouth, much to the princess’s confusion. “Shhhhhh…” Pinkie said as she raised a finger to her lips. “Let’s just move this along, shall we?”

“We didn’t mean it to go this far!” Apple Bloom insisted. “Honest!”

“But why did you do it?” Sunset asked, leaning her hand on the table.

“Because… because of you, Sunset,” Apple Bloom admitted at she looked down at her feet. “I was jealous that my sister was spendin’ time with you and her friends and family. I wanted to make you look bad. So I made up Anon-a-Miss and posted the story about Applejack and made it look like you’d done—”

Pinkie’s hand shot up into the air. “It’s fiiiiIIIIIiiiine~” she warbled. “The relatively few of us here who haven’t heard this can piece together the rest, I’m sure.”

A face mire with confusion came over Sunset. “I… I don’t actually know what to think about any of this… or what to do…” she admitted.

“I do,” Twilight said.

Sunset gave her friend a warm smile. “Oh… well of course you do,” Sunset said, “you always know just what to say… erm… usually…”

Twilight nodded then looked Sunset Shimmer dead in the eye. “We should set fire to everyone here, then burn down the school for good measure.”

A series of confused and alarmed “What?”s erupted from the group, no more confused or alarmed than Sunset Shimmer’s.

Twilight thought for a moment. “No, no wait… that’s ludicrous.”

“I’ll say!” Sunset exclaimed.

Twilight continued, “We better destroy the planet and every living thing on it…”

Sunset worked her mouth for a few moments, words taking slightly longer to come out of it than usual. “Twi-Twilight… You’re the most forgiving, trusting person or pony I know!”

Twilight shrugged. “Friendship apparently means nothing in this world, I’m disappointed in basically everyone, and you know what?” Twilight pointed to herself with her thumb. “Princess of Friendship, bitches! I can’t have this way of thinking infecting anywhere else!” Twilight did an about face and walked towards the café’s door. “Come on, Sunset. Let’s go back to Equestria and figure out how to end this fucked up planet that’s apparently devoid of morality or rational thinking!”

“Uh… Okay!” Sunset said as she chased after Twilight. “But I think you’re missing the irony in your statement!”

“Don’t care!” Twilight said as the door closed behind Sunset causing the bell of the café to ring once more. “I’m thinking we make a spell that erases this entire plane of existence,” Twilight paused for a moment then added, “It’s the only way to be sure.”

“… Twilight, what the actual fuck?”

Well!

Or maybe…

The bell of the shop’s front door rang.

“It wasn’t us!”

“Huh… that’s new!” Pinkie quipped as the CMC stood before the rest of the girls, something human-shaped and a bit larger than them tied up under a tarp with a burlap sack over its head.

“What in tarnation is going on here?!” Applejack demanded.

“We caught her!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed. “We caught the real Anon-a-Miss!”

Sunset gave the three girls in front of her a skeptical look. “Girls, I really wish it wasn’t you, but you’re the only logical suspects!”

“But what about illogical!” Scootaloo suggested.

Sunset Shimmer groaned. “I tried that already. I accused everyone at school!” Sunset hugged herself and shivered. “Even Principal Celestia… She didn’t stop crying for hours because she was so hurt…”

“Everyone except ONE!” Apple Bloom said. With that, the girls took off the sack.

Everyone gasped.

“Nurse Redheart!” Sunset exclaimed.

“Bleh! It’s me!” Nurse Redheart said.

“But… but how?!” Sunset exclaimed. “And more importantly, why?!”

Redheart smiled evilly. “For the blood!” Her smile faded slightly. “I mean… I’d have thought that was pretty obvious.”

Faces tightened across the room.

“I don’t understand,” Sunset said.

“Oh! Well, I guess it wasn’t obvious then!”

“You said you already had a huge stockpile!”

“Yesssssss!” Redheart hissed. “But it wasn’t enough! I needed more! Even with the friendship games coming up, the occasional magic attacks, the frankly, incredibly… just incredibly irresponsible things we let our students do in general at school… I still needed more! And you, Sunset Shimmer… you were the perfect scapegoat! All I had to do was make an amazingly obvious site that pointed to you so hard, you’d have to be woozy from constant blood loss to even suspect it could be you!”

Sunset’s eyes narrowed. “Oh, you clever bitch!”

Nurse Redheart’s smile grew even wider, showing off a pair of pointed fangs in her mouth.

“But why me?!” Sunset demanded. “You caused all this drama by opening one little My Stable page! Even without making me a suspect, the school would have no doubt descended into the chaos it did anyway.”

“Oh! Uhhh…. Hrmmm…” Redheart shrugged. “You got me there. Fuck you, in particular, I guess?”

Sunset grumbled in annoyance. “Okay, but how? How did you find out about AJ’s nickname or get the pictures from my phone?!”

“Haven’t you figured it out?!” Redheart cried. “I’m a fuck mothering vampire!” And with an evil laugh that echoed off the walls of the café, Redheart’s body seemed to disappear in a puff of white smoke, only to be replaced by a large albino bat that hovered over the crumpled sheet and ropes.

The room filled with mysterious mist, the girls all began to cough and sputter.

“Cough-cough-She’s escaping!” Twilight exclaimed as she pointed towards the café door.

“Ahahahahahaha!” Bat Redheart smacked directly into the closed door. ‘Thump!’ “Ow!” ‘Thump!’ “Shit! I didn’t think this through! ‘Thump!’ “Gha! I don’t have any hands…” She flapped and turned around to face the girls. “Little help?”

“Are you outta yer cotton pickin’ mind?!” Applejack exclaimed as she tossed her hands in the air.

“Yeah, I gotcha,” Sunset said as she walked over towards the door.

“What?!” Applejack exclaimed. “Sunset! What the actual fuck?!”

“It’s fine,” Sunset said. “I just want this to be over.”

With a ring of the café bell, the door was open.

Redheart gave out a triumphant laugh. “Over?! Oh, my poor, naive, girls! It has only JUST begun!”

Sunset rolled her eyes as she held the door open. “Would you leave, already?”

With that, Nurse Redheart flew outside. “HAHAHAH-AHHHH!”

And into direct sunlight.

“Fuck! FUCK! I forgot it was daytime outside! Ahhh! And there go my wings! Shit!”

‘Plop!’

“And my torso… and my he-”

Smiling smugly to herself, Sunset let the door close and clapped her hands to together in a quick rubbing motion.

For a few moments, no one said anything.

Pinkie walked over and leaned over the three freshman girls. “It’s okay!” she said as she placed her hands on Sweetie Belle’s and Scootaloo’s shoulders as she looked down at Apple Bloom. “You three can say it this time.”

The three girls looked at each other, then stared at the now closed café door as they watched what looked like a large pile of ash began to blow away outside.

“What the actual fuck?”

But here’s what really happened…

The bell of the shop’s front door rang.

“It wasn’t us!”

“Oh, this again!” Pinkie exclaimed as the CMC stood before the rest of the girls, something round, human-shaped, and quite a bit larger than them tied up under a tarp with a burlap sack over its head.

“What in tarnation is going on here?!” Applejack demanded.

“We caught him!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed.

“Him!” Pinkie said excitedly. “That’s new!”

“We caught the real Anon-a-Miss!”

Sunset gave the three girls in front of her a skeptical look. “Girls, I really wish it wasn’t you, but you’re the only logical suspects!”

“But what about illogical!” Scootaloo suggested.

Pinkie frowned. “Okay, but we heard all that before…”

“But it wasn’t someone from school!” Apple Bloom said. With that, the girls took off the sack.

Everyone gasped.

“Middle-aged man Pander Bun!” Sunset exclaimed.

Twilight looked the light-skinned bespectacled man with a goatee and close-cropped hair that began slightly past his forehead. “… Who?”

“What!” Pander Bun scoffed once, twice, then a third time. “Middle-aged?!”

Sunset raised an eyebrow. “But why, though?” she raised a palm to the air. “More importantly, how?”

“He did it with this!” Apple Bloom exclaimed as she produced a perfectly smooth sphere that glowed a dull, brown color.

Sunset and her friends of Canterlot High all inched forward and peered at the mysterious item. “Okay…” Sunset said. “What the hell is that!”

Twilight gasped. “The ID-10-T ball!”

Everyone turned and looked at Twilight.

Twilight continued. “It’s an ancient artifact created by the mage Ignoramus Dunce the Twit! The tenth and only successful artifact he ever created.”

Sunset’s eyes shifted to her right. “Oh… I remember that. He created an item to dumb down all his peers because he was tired of not being the smartest… Also, probably because his parents named him ‘Ignoramus Dunce’ and he was understandably pissed off about that.” Sunset turned back to Pander. “Okay, but why?”

Pander offered Sunset a weak smile. “Well, in the right hands, I found that the ID-10-T tool can be a powerful narrative tool!”

“…That is not at all what I asked,” Sunset said. “Also… I disagree vehemently at least with the implication that your hands are the right ones! I mean… This was, hands down, the worst week of my life and that includes the time I nearly destroyed the school and tried to take over Equestria!”

Pander sighed. “Well… it was necessary.”

“For what?!”

“To teach you the true meaning of family.”

Sunset paused. “I… I literally figured that out the night before you started fucking up my life.” Sunset produced her journal and opened it. “HERE!” she said pointing to the words ‘I feel like I finally have a family again.’

Pander frowned. “Okay well… Look… I wanted to do this before the sirens attacked, but… time makes fools of us all!”

Sunset narrowed her eyes. “I’m going to stab you now!”

“Wait a minute!” Pander exclaimed. “I mean… think about it! Had this happened before you saved the school, this would have made waaaay more sense.”

The girls thought for a moment.

“Erm… I guess it would be harder to trust Sunset before she proved herself,” Fluttershy admitted.

Rarity glanced at the journal in Sunset’s hand. “And she wouldn’t be able to write Twilight in the journal…”

“See, see!” Pander said, nodding enthusiastically.

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “That wouldn’t explain why my sister and her friends started posting everyone’s secrets, though.”

Rainbow Dash’s eyes crossed for a moment. “Or why Scootaloo even got involved? I mean... she really likes me!”

Sweetie Belle spoke up, "More like worships the ground you walk on!" Sweetie Belle nodded to Scootaloo who was busy petting a hairbrush filled with loose strands of hair the color of the rainbow and whispering sweet nothings to it. She quickly noticed she was the center of attention and hid the brush behind her with an embarrassed smile.

"Uh..." Rainbow Dash quickly knocked back the rest of her shake as if the sugary, sweet substance could erase what she just saw. "As I was saying... showing everyone I got an 'F' just sucks! It doesn't help me spend time with anyone!" Rainbow Dash shook her head. "I mean, what the actual fuck? ...In regards to that and that thing I just had to see right now..."

“No wait!” Pander exclaimed. “You’re thinking about it too hard!”

Sunset spoke up, “Or why it took me almost an entire week to figure out a logical culprit when I knew it couldn’t have been me…”

“Or how I got completely cheated out of any bullying whatsoever!”

Everyone stopped and stared at Pinkie.

“Pinkie, you don’t have any shame,” Sunset pointed out. “That’s probably why you got left out.”

“Oh, yeah!” Pinkie said. “Okay… how about the fact that school faculty did nothing about any of this!”

“That’s a good point!” Twilight chimed in with a nod.

“Okay, okay!” Pander exclaimed. “So, I maybe could have thought things through better!”

“Maybe?!” Sunset sneered in disbelief.

“Look, it’s okay!” Pander said. “I got a nice, sweet ending, completely devoid of unfortunate implications in mind! All you have to do is untie me and give me back that super-useful narrative tool that’s not at all a crutch!”

Sunset turned and looked at her friends. “I don’t know girls, what do you think?”

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Ah say Ah’ll hold him down and ya’ll take turns working him over.’”

“What?! HEY!” Pander exclaimed.

Sunset pointed at Applejack. “Now THAT’S the kind of family I want to be part of!”

Applejack smiled wickedly and strutted over to Pander. “Yippee-kai-yay, motherfucker,” she said as she grappled Pander tightly.

“Noooo! Twilight! Please stop this!” Pander pleaded.

Twilight glared back at Pander. “The Princess of Friendship abides.”

“Ahhh! NO! NO!”

‘POW!’

“OW!”

Twilight shrugged. “Maybe next time don’t fuck with my friends and my heads.”

‘SMACK!’

“OW!”

“FLUTTERSHY HELP!” Pander cried.

“Erm, we’re going to fuck your shit up, now… even if that’s not okay with you.”

‘KICK!’

“OW! Oh that’s it! I will have my REVENGE!”

‘CLOBBER!’

“AHH! I MEAN IT! I’M GOING TO WRITE A STAR SWIRL THE BEARDED RAP OFF WITH THE DAZZLINGS STORY!”

‘THUD!’

“Ghhhh! Hahahaha-OUCH!- and there’s not a DAMN thing-AHHHH-that you or anyone else can do about-GRRRK-it!”

-~A few years later~-

“Stygian was a pony like the rest of us, though more scholar than hero. He recognized our emerging world would need champions to defend it.”

Pander stared at the TV screen dejectedly. “Awwww, man!”

The End

Author's Note

Closing thoughts on the comic (1:22):

Congrats to those who guessed a LITERAL idiot ball. You should be proud. Also, for the record, the writer of this debacle has produced some IDW pony comics I legitimately have enjoyed… Good thing, too. It was hard not to name the character “Blanderson.”

And, once again, thanks to all those awesome and beautiful people in the description of this fic! Hopefully between all of us we let beauty come out of ashes. :pinkiesmile: