Chaotic Valentine

by DoodleDrawler

Rating: everyone
Tags: Romance, Twilight Sparkle, Discord, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 3867

A quiet night of peace and quiet for the Princess of Friendship is suddenly interrrupted by a chaotic being.

When Twilight finally gets some peace after a long week of work, she gets an unexpected visitor. What does he want? And will she actually come to terms with what he has to say?

The pic I used was drawn and owned by Lopoddity on Deviantart.

Published 2018-04-12 04:30:06 UTC
Last updated 2018-12-17 16:19:56 UTC

Arrival

Silent.

That was the way she liked it.

After a long week of dealing with problems, it was nice to just relax with a good book.

She groaned just thinking about the last few days.

First she had a talk with the school fillies on the importance of friendship, then a MAJOR Spring clean up of her castle. Polishing every inch of the inside and out. Over seeing that year's winter wrap up. A family dinner, and agreeing to watch her niece for a bit. Two friendship problems, a sleep over, and FINALLY a diplomatic meeting in Canterlot with Princess Celestia and Luna.

It seemed she could finally relax without being interrupted as Spike agreed to help Rarity and Fluttershy with a pet fashion line, Rainbow was doing Wonderbolt training, and Pinkie was helping A.J. plan Big Mac's birthday. And she wasn't expecting any visitors.

Yes. It was a quiet night.

Too bad she didn't suspect a chaotic interruption.

"Why..Hello there my dear little Starbutt! How are you tonight?"

She groaned before face-hooving herself.

Of course. Of course! He would show up after a long week of stressful events and planning.

"What do you want, Discord?" She turned around and came face to face with the smiling chesire grin of the chaotic being.
The spirit of chaos and disharmony himself was floating leisurely above her. He twisted around much like a serpent until he was in the position that resembled somepony laying on their stomach.....except he was in the air.

The mitchmatched creature smiled wider. "I got bored, and seeing as everypony else is busy as the moment except you, I figured......Why not drop by and see how.....glad you'd be to see a friend?"

"........*sigh* It's nice to see you too, Discord. But, did you really have to show up now? I wasn't prepared for any visits right now."

"Well....you might as well get used to this sort of thing. Considering both of us suffer from immortal-itise. Or did you forget about your meeting with the ambassador?"

".......How could you have possibly known about that?!"

How could he, indeed. Yesterday's diplomatic meeting.......hadn't been the worst. But it most certainly wasn't the best.
It turns out a King from a kingdom from the lands up North, had come all the way to the land of Equestria to discuss a possible trading partnership or alliance. They settled for an alliance, but then the suggestion of a marriage between his son and one of the princesses to unite their kingdoms came up. It turned out where he was from, it was quite common to seal important deals such as this with a marriage.

Both Princess Celestia and Luna could use the argument of being too old and explained that they had already been married at least four times each, and since Cadence was already married......She had to very politely and forcefully turn down his.......nine suggestions to her. But, on his tenth try, she nearly made an outburst.

"But, you will probably never know what marriage would be like anyway. Why not experience it ounce before your immortality and stubbornness makes you into an old maid mare?"

She wanted to scream, 'What the buck is wrong with you?! I am perfectly capable of finding a colt friend by myself! In MY own time!'

Celestia had placed a wing around her and sternly told him it was rude to force others into something and that no meant no.

And that was it.

He waved his lion paw. "I'm the spirit of chaos and disharmony. Time is no problem for me."

".......*sigh* What's even the point of this talk?"

"To let you know that you're not the only immortal to be faced with the problem of a spouse."

She raised an eyebrow at this. "YOU have been pressured by a king to marry his son?"

"No. What I meant was that we all have different versions of that problem. With a spouse and immortality."

"........I don't follow you."

"Take Sun and Moonbutt for example. They've already been married......Oh, I don't know.....three or four times each and have stopped because of their age and they can't take it anymore. And your niece is going to go through the same thing one day as well as Cadence.......We all have that problem, Twilight. Even if it's different versions of it."

".........And you?"

"Me? Well........I had one crush when I was really young.....but it didn't last long. But, I am currently infatuated with another mare."

"........." She stood up to place a hoof on his shoulder. "Discord........I'm sorry to tell you this......but Fluttershy is already with somepony else."

"......." He stared at her. "......Pffffft. AHAHAHAHAHAHA!! *gasp* HAHAHAHA!!"

She was quite taken aback from his sudden outburst.

"My dear.......I'm afraid you have the wrong mare."

"......But.....I thought...."

"Fluttershy would be anyone's first guess.....but she will never be more than a dear friend to me. But, I am going to keep a VERY close eye on that Iron Will fellow she's with."

"......Then who? Pinkie Pie?"

"Goodness. No. That mare is too hyper. Even for me."

''.......Trixie?," she asked trying to think of any mares that could be that close to him.

"Friend zone."

"Rarity?"

"Already with Fancy Overalls."

"You mean Fancy Pants."

"Yes. Him."

"......Rainbow?"

"Already with Soarin, and A.J. isn't interested in a relationship. And as I've stated before, Tia and Moony are done with any hubbies. "

"Then that doesn't leave anypony left."

He put both hands under his chin and gave her a half lidded look. "Really, Ms. Sparkle? Everybody?"

"Well, of course. It's none of our friends or the princesses-"

"Who said it wasn't a princess?" He raised an eyebrow.

"But, you said-"

"I know what I said. I said I wasn't interested in the sisters, and obviously your niece and Cadence aren't an option. Too young and already married."

"Then who could you possibly.....be....talking.....about?"
She slowly met his gaze......and he smiled wider if that was even possible. She raised a hoof to point at herself.

"Me?"

"Ding, ding, ding! Congratulations! You won the 'I take too long to realize things' award!"

She decided to ignore his obnoxious shout. "Why?"

"You challenge me. Surprise me. You have magical abilities that rival the other princesses and Star Swirl himself. You surprise me every time I try to be.......playful."

She rolled her eyes.

''You even saved my life ounce. Despite the awful things I did. Fluttershy is my friend, but even she would've never gave up all that magic just to save me and her friends. She would've most likely ran and went into hiding to save the Princesses' magic."

".......And what makes you think I would even consider being with you? Not that I'm trying to be rude."

"Oh, come now. You can't tell me that you aren't even the bit curious about me. A chaotic being that's lived for centuries and the only surviving member of my kind. Not to mention all those lessons you would've never learnt without me."

''......"

She hated to admit it, but he did have a point. She had thought of those things a couple of times, but never really thought
he'd actually tell her.

"Besides.....having a spouse that would keep me entertained, be my friend, and most of all....with be with me to the end of time. Literally.....That's a lucky find immortals rarely run into."

".......Discord.....I..."

"One chance."

"What?"

"One chance. That's all I ask for. If it doesn't work out, no harm done. We'll still be friends and I'll never bother you with it again."

"When?"

"Tomorrow is Hearts and Hooves Day. Seems like a decent time. Plus, it might keep Blue Blood and the rest of those young nobles away."

"Uuuuh....Don't remind me."

"Then it's a date, I presume."

"......Ok. A date. It beats being stuck without anything to do. And who knows? It might be interesting."

"Oh, good. I'm going to fly all over Canterlot and Ponyville and shout that you'll be dating an old goat more than twice your age tomorrow before retiring tonight. That way, everypony knows you'll be busy tomorrow. Chao." With a snap of his eagle claw, he vanished.

"Wait! WHAT?!"

But he was already gone.

"DISCOOOORD!!"

Author's Note

If nobody knew, I ship Twicord. This was my first attempt writing a oneshot for this couple so I hope it's ok. All mentioned figures belong to Hasbro.

The Date

Shuffling and other noises filled the air as her friend leaned her head closer to peer at the outfit she was currently perfecting around her. Making sure the ruffles fluffed out just right and the curls of her man weren't crooked in any way.

"You've been awfully quiet, Darling." Her friend flinched. "Is something bothering you?"

There was a short pause before she sighed and turned her head to peer at the white unicorn in glasses.

"I guess I'm just having pre-date jitters. That's all."

Yesterday had seemed like a blur and she almost chalked it up to being a dream. Keyword being almost. If it wasn't for
Fluttershy dropping by with a cute Hearts and Hooves Day card(she always gave one to her friends and family) and wishing her luck on her date with Discord. Of course she was prepared and read One Hundred and Two Tips For Interspecies Dating Cadence had leant her. Unfortunately, it didn't cover draconequues. So she went to Plan B! Who was the most expert in dating and relationships in close range?

"I don't entirely blame you, Twilight. This is Discord we're talking about....Lift your wing please."

She did as she asked silently. Rarity may have not seemed like the best choice in relationship advice, but she had enough experience with failed dates and crushes to know what to look out for. And to help her get ready.

"I honestly didn't know you still had this. I haven't seen it since Cadence and Shining Armor's wedding."

She looked down at the old bridesmare dress Rarity had dug out. She didn't have time to put together a whole outfit for her, but luckily she had an older dress. All that was needed was some wing room.

"I was thinking about donating some of my old fashions to the local performing group, but it seems it was a good thing I held onto this one."

"Mmm hmm. I'm sure everything's gonna be fine. It's just Discord after all."

The unicorn stopped what she was doing and looked at the alicorn princess with a raised brow. "You sound so unsure about this."

"Well, of course!" She whirled around to face her. "This is Discord! Who knows what'll happen?"

".....He did say if it didn't work he would like to remain friends. Did he not?"

"Well, yes, but-"

"AND you two are on good terms, right?"

"Yes, but that's not-"

"AND you gave him your word you would go with him. Did you not?"

"YES! But that's-"

"Then you should have no problem with it."

"Rarity!," the purple alicorn shouted making Rarity look up from her sewing. She let out a breath, "You're right. And as the

Princess of Friendship I shouldn't let something like a date get in the way of our friendship. But that's not why I'm...….having doubts."

Rarity took her time finishing the last of the stitching before calmly looking at her and asking, "What ever do you mean? I'm sure he'll behave himself. Half way at least."

"I.....don't exactly have good dating experience."

Rarity turned to trot over behind a curtain of sorts but still listened. "Whatever do you mean? You went on one with that-oh, what's his name- Flash Centry!"

Twilight sighed and sat down. "He was nice, and a real gentlecolt, but he wasn't the same outgoing, spunky guy I met in the place they call 'highschool'."

The curtain was drawn back and Rarity proudly trotted out wearing an elegant dress that very nicely showed off her natural beauty and well done hair. She noticed her friend's stare and posed.

"You like it? I've been saving it for a rainy day."

"You look beautiful, Rarity. I'm taking it you have a lucky date," Twilight teased lightly, "Who's the lucky stallion this time?"

Rarity giggled. "Capper. He's meeting me later at Sugarcube Corner. But, on the topic of lucky dates- Do give Discord a fair chance." She reached out a hoof to place on her shoulder. "Trust me when I say I know from experience. Sometimes it's better to chance it with a friend then to fall for fancy fake-ness. Besides. It's Hearts and Hooves Day. Nopony deserves to be alone."

She slowly smiled. "Thanks, Rarity. I should give him the benefit of the doubt."
She nodded her head. "That's good to hear. Now, I suggest we both go before our dates come looking for us."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the time she left Rarity and went back to the giant castle, she realized not much time had passed as she had thought. Only maybe two hours at most. That just left more time to let her mind wonder about all the crazy things that could happen. This WAS Discord after all.

So, she did what she normally did when stressed. She read.

She wasn't sure exactly how long she'd been(trying to) reading the same two pages, but it felt like an eternity. Especially with her past of awkward non romantic experiences and having basically zero confidence in that area. Perhaps if she pretended that this was just a fun platonic get together with a guy friend? Yeah! That's it! Just look at this as one of those girl buddy guy buddy hangouts. She had those with spike all the time. Heck! It just might be more fun with Discord's crazy antics.

She released a sigh of relief at her idea and was finally able to turn the page-

"EEEKKK!!!"

The book was dropped to the ground with a thud. She scurried back against the couch at the sight of a giant red and
yellow eye staring at her from the page.

"Discord!"

A deep chuckle filled the air before the familiar flash of light lit up in front of her. A moment later, she was staring up at the smiling creature.

"I was wondering when you would turn to me. I was waiting for almost an hour you know. It's very rude to ignore your date."

She face hooved. "I didn't know you would-! *sigh* Nevermind. You're here. Let's go and do whatever you planned."

He hummed. "Straight to the point I see. But, I may have to change my original plans.

She tilted her head confused. "Why?" He pointed his lion paw at her outfit. "My dress?"

"If I had known you would dress up like this just for out date, I would've planned something much better suiting."

"What? You don't have to-"

"Nonsense," he cut her off, "A pretty dress like this doesn't deserve to be wasted. If anything, it'll make things much more fun."

"Fun? Fun how?"

He smiled. "You'll see soon enough."

He raised his eagle claw to snap again. A bright flash of white light filled the room making her squeeze her eyes shut. The sudden shift in environment gave her an uneasy feeling as she was forced on her hooves once again. She opened her magenta eyes, but had to blink a few times to actually take in her new surroundings.

"Discord, where are we?"

Giant buildings loomed overhead as the sun had just began to set. Yeesh! She spent more time getting ready at Rarity's then she thought. It couldn't be Canterlot. Canterlot had a more.....fancy atmosphere to it.

"Manehatton. I knew the young nobles of Canterlot had driven you up a wall, and they don't need to be encouraged by seeing you all dolled up for today."

She finally looked at him and blinked. The orange tux from the last gala was back. He noticed her stare and quirked an eyebrow.

"Is the tophat too much?"

"Wha- Uh! No no. You look really good in orange."

He lit up an her compliment. "Why thank you, my dear. And might I say-" He suddenly shot down and grabbed one of her hooves. "-YOU look lovely tonight.~"

Her face flushed a deep purple at his compliment. Discord chuckled at her reaction before nodding towards the building in front of them.

"Shall we?"

She only nodded and he extended a limb. "Well, Princesses first.~"

What looked like a simple house in the middle of a city had turned out to be some kind of restaurant. A few couples were seated here and there making googoo eyes at each other or talking. It seemed that this café was cottage themed? It certainly wasn't over the top.

"Hi there!"

Twilight jumped from the new voice. A slightly smaller pony stared at them in a waitress outfit. She smiled a mouth full of braces at them.

"Welcome to Cozy Critters! How can I help you today?"

"Just the regular and table for me, Bubbles. You might want to take her order though," Discord piped up before she could.
She nodded and turned around. "Follow me please."

They were lead to a small table near the back and sat down. Twilight thanked her and took the menu in an aura of purple magic. It showed plenty of options, but she didn't feel like anything fancy though so-

"I think I'll just have the hayburger and-" She looked up and froze at what she saw. "-some water. Discord. Are you eating a table?"

The draconequues smiled down at her with his mouth full. A small coffee table was in his hands. Neither noticed the waitress walk away. He gulped before answering.

"Why yes. How very observant of you. This is my usual after all."

"Why?"

"Twilight, the better question is why not. You are talking to THE embodiment of Chaos."
He had a point.

She shook her head but smiled. "I guess you're right." She glanced around. "Where are we anyways?"

"Fluttershy's favorite restaurant. It reminds her of home, and they DO have excellent tables." He took another bite of the table. It splintered and made a crunching sound where he bit down.

"Oh. Well, it's really not what I expected, but it's very nice." She paused when something hit her. "Hey." He hummed. "You said you had plans before you decided on this. What was it?"

He shrugged. "Just some star gazing up close and seeing the making of a super nova. But, this is probably better. Less noise and more room to talk."

Her jaw dropped. "Are you being serious?"

"Completely."

A small silence followed with him continuing to eat his table. Eventually the waitress pony came back expertly balancing a tray on her head. She bent down and slid it in front of the princess.

"Will there be anything else?"

Discord shook his head. "No, Bubbles. Just put that on my tab, dear."

The burger was pretty good as she bit into it over and over,. The two ate in silence for what seemed like forever-

"You seem pretty quiet."

She jolted, almost dropping her water, and looked up at him. He still smiled with a raised brow. He no longer had his table so she assumed he finished eating.

"O-Oh. Sorry. I just-I'm not familiar with this kinda stuff."

"Surely you have been on a date before." His smile faded and his brow rose further. "With all these young stallions' sudden interest, I thought you'd at least go on a coffee date."

She coughed nervously and rubbed the back of her neck. Averting her eyes nervously. "I....uh....Went on one. And I'm the one who kinda asked him. B-B-But it's ok. We're good friends."

"And you never accepted when someone else asked you?" He stroked his beard in thought. "How interesting."
She shrugged. "They were interested, but their reasons weren't really that sincere."

"Understandable." He waved a paw and a glass of chocolate milk appeared in it. "If their intentions weren't pure, then you shouldn't feel pressured to go." He took a gulp.

"That's exactly how I feel!" She watched him chuckle and continue to drink. She had to admit she didn't expect Discord of all people to ask her out. Speaking of which- "Discord. Why intentions did you have for asking me?"

He stopped mid sip and looked at her. "I guess it's finally that time, hmm?" He made his drink disappear with a flash, and leaned across the table. "I already told you last night, but knowing you, you'd want a more detailed answer. It's simple really."

"Then why? Besides my obvious immortality."

He chuckled again. "Besides that. Like I said before. You challenge me. Sure a chaotic life is plenty fun by itself, but what's life without a challenge every now and then? Hmm. Easy gets boring after a while. Plus-" He reached a hand over to boop her nose. "-You had some chaotic moments. I can name a few."

She tutted. "Really? What?"

He raised fingers as he spoke. "Oh. That time you cast those spells to change Fluttershy into a bat, make everypony want your smarty doll thing, have all those parasprites literally eat the town. And let's not forget when you switched everyone's cutie marks. Oh! What about the time you tried to figure out Pinkie's sense? Or when you thought I hypnotized everyone because you were jealous-"

"Ok, ok!"

He outright laughed at her sudden intervention. "Shall I continue?"

"No. That's ok. I think I get the picture."

He leaned back to his full height. "But, I guess the main reason is the old saying that opposites attract. And who is more opposite than us two?" He winked.

And despite herself, she giggled and pointed at him.

"I thought I was supposed to be the one with love logic," she teased.

He placed a paw to his chest in mock shock. "My dear starbutt. Wouldn't it be chaos if I started using logic? Hmhm."

The rest of the night was actually quite relaxing and his play on logic made her more at ease. By the time she noticed how late it was, Discord had already snapped his fingers and in a flash of light, they reappeared inside her library. She blinked again again at the uneasy feeling of being forced on her hooves without warning. When she looked back up at Discord, the spirit was floating next to her without the tux.

"Did you have fun?"

"Yes!," she happily shouted, "Tonight was better than I thought it would be." She smiled sheepishly. "Thank you for treating me to such a lovely experience, Discord."

His smile widened. "Think nothing of it. I rather enjoyed myself. Though I can't leave without giving you one last thing."

"Oh? What's tha-"

She froze as something warm pressed against her cheek. As quickly as it came it left, and Discord chuckled.

"A good bye kiss. We should do this again sometime. Tata."

In another flash of light, he was gone. Leaving her and her growing blush.

Author's Note

Ok! So here's the other half I promised. Sorry for taking so long. Hope you like the finale. All mentioned characters belongs to Hasbro & Co.