It was a hot summer night in the Las Pegasus Desert. The sun had set hours ago, and the dim light of a crescent moon filled out the starry sky.
Soaring through the silence of the night was a young yellow pegasus filly. Eagerly flapping her wings; her face a look of defiance and determination; her eyes wide and her head shooting to and fro as she scanned the mostly deserted ground in front of her, she soared through the night, not entirely sure what she was looking for.
It'd been half an hour since she'd left her father's apartment and her underdeveloped wings ached from the strain of her search. She was determined to find her: the mare from the photo.
The filly's frown deepened as earlier events flashed past her mind’s eye - of how she had been searching for an old toy from her foalhood, and had ended up looking under her father’s bed, where a light brown cardboard box had caught her glimpse.
Her curiosity awoken, she had pulled it out from beneath the bed, and looked inside. What she found was… weird, to say the least.
Hidden inside the box were a lot of things that, at first sight, looked like junk: Glass shards and something like torn-up cuddly toys greeted her eyes. Eyeing the abused assortment of refuse, Apogee wondered if her father collected all the broken things he'd ruined from the times he got angry.
However, she was surprised when a photo lying underneath the pile of shards met her eyes. Careful not to cut herself, she dug it out, tilting her head to the side in confusion as she saw what looked like a younger… strangely-dressed version of her father. By itself, that wouldn’t be very surprising - her father looked strange in a turtleneck sweater, sure, but it wasn’t the weirdest thing she'd seen him wear- if it weren’t for the fact that, in this photo, her father had his wings wrapped around a mare, both of them smiling happily to the camera.
Apogee cocked an eyebrow as she looked at the photo. That mare… she had seen her before. Yes, this… this whole picture looked… vaguely familiar.
She pinched her eyes shut, rubbing the side of her face as she reflected. Hadn’t she seen this mare on a photo hung in their old apartment? She bit her lip, frowning as her mind failed her.
She and her father had left their old apartment four years ago, and she'd been little more than a toddler when her father had, seemingly out of nowhere, decided that it was time to move into a new place.
So who…?
Slowly, Apogee lowered her head to look at the mare on the photo again. The red eyes, the turquoise strands in her mane, the way she smiled back into in a way that seemed so familiar… it was unmistakable.
Apogee's heart was pounding. “…Mom?” she asked as she leaned forward, her eyes fixated on the mare.
Truth be told, she knew distressingly little about her mom. What kind of personality did she have? What things did she like? What things did she hate? Nopony else in her life knew anything about her either... except her father. She would frequently beg him to tell her more, though he always seemed reluctant to talk about his ex. But eventually, she wore her father's reluctance down.
Delta Vee was her name. She was two years younger than Apogee's father and they'd met in a lecture during their college days. Somewhere along the way they tried starting a family, bringing Apogee into the world. But, in the words of her father, things had 'simply not worked out' and Delta Vee left to pursue her own career; left them both; left Apogee.
And neither Jet, nor Apogee, had seen a single trace of her since.
In the years that followed, Jet had talked about his ex several times and seemed to hold her in high regard, despite the breakup. She was a genius he'd say, likely already an executive of some aerospace firm or a ranking military officer.
However, any attempts Apogee made to find out more were always shot down by her father, simply explaining that he hadn’t seen her in five years. It was an excuse Apogee accepted without any second thoughts - while she dearly wished her mother could be by her side, she respected her father's wishes to put the subject to rest.
And yet, what raised her suspicion now was the fact her father always assured her that Delta Vee disposed of all evidence of their time together: photos, videos, memorabilia… everything. He wouldn’t go into details, but by reading between the lines, Apogee suspected it must have been a bitter break-up. It was no wonder he was reluctant to talk about it.
But now it seemed her mother hadn't destroyed all the photos, and looking at the state of things, it almost seemed like her father had kept these things hidden from her on purpose.
But… why?
Sitting alone with the box of memories, Apogee tried her best to piece together the truth of it all. Before she could make sense of it, the front door of their apartment opened, startling her from her clandestine search. Dad had returned home.
The filly tensed up, her first instinct being to quickly throw the photo back into the box. However, the sheer force of the realization now on her mind was enough to make her remain seated for a moment longer, her eyes never leaving those of her mother on the photo. Seconds later, she shook her head, picked the photo up with a wing, and started cleaning the mess she'd made when she unpacked the box. If she was fast, she could-
“Sweetie?”
She froze as she heard steps come from outside the door, the voice of her father right on the other side of it. Panicking, Apogee swept up the shards with her hoof and tossed them back into the box, just in time for the door to get opened and her father…
“What are you doing in…” Jet Stream started to ask as he stepped through the door, but fell silent as he saw his daughter sitting in a pile of memories from a better time. She was trying her best to pick up the shards of junk as well as plushie intestines from off the floor.
He needed a second to process what she was doing, and when the gravity of the situation became apparent to him, his head sank and he gave a soft sigh. “… Oh no.”
“Dad…”
Apogee, finally giving up on her endeavor to hide the evidence, slowly turned her head to focus on her father from over her shoulder, asking a question she had already asked him several times before - only that now, in light of the current situation, it seemed to have an entirely different meaning, and weight, “Where's mom?”
The filly swallowed as she flapped her wings again, her muscles beginning to ache from exhaustion. She didn’t know if she'd ever flown for such an extended period of time, and she couldn’t shake the feeling that she was pushing her own power reserves too far, but…
No, she needed answers. She needed clarity!
Slowly, she lowered her head again, the abandoned suburbs of Las Pegasus rushing past her on the ground. Abandoned and decaying houses, sitting astray in the vast emptiness of the desert, artifacts of a better time, were rotting away beneath her. Some of these places had since found a new purpose as housing for dropouts or homeless ponies, but most of them were just… empty, dirty and smelly ruins - the sight of them was unsettling.
But if her father were to be believed…
“You know something, don’t you?” Apogee asked reproachfully as she sat on her father’s bed, the beige pegasus stallion sitting next to her, looking mostly clueless and… lost. She turned her head towards him, her eyes full of bitterness. “You’re seen her, haven’t you?”
“Sweetie…” Jet Stream wanted to comfort her, attempting to put a wing around his daughter’s back, but she pushed him away.
“Don’t!” she hissed. “You lied!” She pointed a hoof at the box full of memories still sitting open on the ground in front of them. “Why?”
“Apogee, I-”
“You know where mommy is, don't you!?” she asked, her eyes narrowing, “You said she ran away… horseapples!”
Jet Stream gave a pained sigh, swallowing as he struggled to find what he hoped were the right words. “Look,” he finally brought out, “I don’t know where she is. I have a suspicion, but I haven’t seen her in four years, so she might as well be anywhere.”
His daughter remained silent at that as she looked him over with narrowed eyes, doubt evident on her face, as if the thought that he had been keeping so many secrets after she'd asked him about her mom countless times was too painful to imagine.
However, before she could evaluate his words, something else occurred to her, and she could feel her eyes widen again. “Wait,” she snapped, her head spinning around as she focused him with a questioning gaze. “Four years? When we moved? B-but…”
Jet Stream flinched, screwing up his face and hissing a curse under his breath. He’d already said too much, hadn’t he?
“You’ve seen her after she moved out!?” Apogee concluded wide-eyed, “And you didn’t tell me!?”
“We… we sorta just ran into each other,” Jet Stream explained awkwardly, his mouth struggling to bring out words. “She was doing fine doing her thing, I was doing fine doing my thing, so we just…” he lightly shook his head, shrugging, “... just wished each other the best and went on our ways again - like adults do it.”
Again, his daughter mustered him skeptically, shaking her head. He was lying. He was so lying.
But that wasn’t the most pressing point on her mind. She would have plenty of time to figure out what had happened when the two 'ran into each other’, but for now there was one thing she was more keen on finding out.
“Where is she!?” she asked out aloud.
“W-well…” Jet replied uncomfortably, raising a hoof and nervously fidgeting with the tie around his neck. “I… I don't really know…”
“What!?” Apogee shouted, legitimately angry now.
Jet Stream flinched at that, obviously not used to dealing with these kinds of talks, and turned to look back at her with a nervous glance.
“I, uh…” Jet began nervously, rubbing the back of his head with a hoof, “I do have a suspicion.”
As his daughter just looked at him with a questioning glance, he elaborated, “A few weeks ago, I overheard two of my business partners speak about a new source of spaceship parts in the outskirts of Las Pegasus - a small company run by a mare who goes by the name ‘Vee’.”
Apogee’s eyes shined with curiosity as excitement replaced her anger. “And…?” she asked, brimming with barely contained elation.
“Nothing.” Jet Stream replied with a slightly guilty-looking shrug. “There’s a lot of ponies named ‘Vee’ in Equestria, and even if it should turn out to be your mother, she…” he swallowed, pressing his lips together, “She made it quite clear that she doesn’t want to see me anymore, so I don’t think searching for her would be a good idea. … Not that I’d have too much time to go searching for her anyway.”
His daughter blinked at him blankly for a few seconds, disbelief marking her face. “But… But why didn't you tell me? I want to see mommy!”
“You shouldn’t.” Jet’s reply came a little too hastily for his own liking. Quickly backpaddling, he shook his head and corrected himself, “I-I mean… she wouldn’t be a good influence on you. She might not even want to see you at all.”
“That's not true!” Apogee shot back, her anger once again rising. “You said you haven’t seen her in years, so how do you know she doesn’t want to see me? You're being mean! Mom wouldn't be a...” she imitated quotation marks with her hoof, making a silly face, “bad influence on me!”
“Sweetie, I just…” Jet wanted to protest, but was failing to explain the unexplainable, “she’s… she’s not what you think she-”
“That's not what you said!” the filly replied defiantly, “She’s smart, confident, and knows what she wants in life! Isn't that what you always used to say?”
“Yes, but…” He tried to offer a stern, fatherly glare, but ended up just frowning and lowering his head instead. “She’s… she’s never been there for you, dear,” he said softly. “She’s a lovely mare, but she’s also quite proud and very stubborn. I just…” he hesitated, swallowing. “I don’t want you to get hurt by her.”
A long moment of silence followed. The stallion looked at his daughter, a look of begging on his face, before he sighed painfully.
Apogee's frown deepened. "Mom wouldn't hurt me," she insisted. Her frown turned into a scowl that spoke to the resentment that had been growing in her heart. "I bet mommy wouldn't have missed my birthday!"
Jet Stream tensed up at that, drawing in a sharp breath. “Sweetie, I told you, that meeting was-”
“No!” Apogee put him off with a swish of her hoof. “Just… stop.”
“C’mon,” Jet said, pleading to his daughter. “I mean, you had fun even without me, didn’t you?”
Apogee turned her head, her face a bitter grimace as she looked back at him.
“You know…” her father continued somewhat helplessly, shrugging. “Celebrating with all your friends, and all.”
Her eyes narrowed. “What friends, dad?”
“W-well-”
“I have one friend, dad,” Apogee explained solemnly, raising a hoof to underline her statement. “And she couldn’t make it because she was in the hospital getting her tonsils removed.”
“Well…” Jet fumbled around for answers. He was quickly being pushed into a corner. “I mean… you still had Miss Velvet to spend your birthday with, right?”
“Miss Velvet quit her job two days ago, dad,” Apogee pointed out, her frown deepening by the second, eyes narrowing.
Jet’s eyes widened. “W-what!? So… so who’s been looking after you all this time?”
Her eyes narrowed further, and she silently stared at him for an uncomfortable eternity, her silence answering his question quite sufficiently.
Finally, she sighed, shaking her head and getting up off the bed. “Just… stop, Dad.” she shouted, tears forming in her eyes as she cantered out of the room, “You don’t even know me!”
Apogee frowned as the memory ran past her mind’s eye again, and she shook her head. She loved her dad, she really did, but…
Heck, sometimes she really wished he’d be there for her more often. Just… just a little bit.
She bit her lip, giving a groan as the pain in her wings gew more noticeable. Exhaustion was gnawing away at her -it was way past her normal bedtime, after all- and she yawned, feeling her eyelids getting heavier by the second.
She looked down to the ground again, observing the vast emptiness of the Las Pegasus desert as fewer and fewer houses filled out the ground.
What was she even doing here? Yes, she wanted to find her mother, but heck, it was dark, and the area in question was far larger than Las Pegasus itself! What were the chances that her mother was actually out here, let alone that Apogee would find her? One in a thousand? A million, even?
The filly groaned again. Every flap of her wings sent a shot of pain through her entire body. She knew she could endure, but flying for this long wasn't something she often did.
She clenched her teeth, hissing a curse as the short-sightedness of her actions became clear. She was in the middle of nowhere! Even if she turned back now, she couldn't fly all the way back to Las Pegasus with the strength she had left, and walking would take her several hours!
She screwed up her face, partly in pain, partly in anger, her breathing becoming ragged as she came closer to the ground with every second.
“Damnit!” she cried. Stupid dad making her run away like this; stupid mom running off and making Apogee go look for her!
Another groan escaped her lips, every other flap of her wings now gaining a pained gasp from her. Just as she felt despair overwhelming her, Apogee perked up as her tear-filled eyes spotted something in the distance.
Up ahead there was another abandoned settlement. A fenced area in the middle of the desert. In the dim light of the crescent moon, she could make out the shape of a dome-like structure, as well as something that looked like an old caravan - presumably either a leftover of economically better times, or host to one of Las Pegasus’ many homeless.
Well…
Assuming nopony was there, if nothing else, it might provide her with a place to catch her breath before she would return back home.
Feeling her strength vanish, she hastily descended, launching into a not-so-gentle landing in the middle of the fenced area.
In the dim light of the moon, she could make out various metal parts lying about, either piled up or littering the ground. What was this, some sort of junkyard? A dump, maybe?
Apogee let her gaze wander, wondering if perhaps somepony was still living here. Based on the state of decay things appeared to be in, and the general mess, she concluded it was abandoned years or decades ago.
Feeling insecurity grow inside her at the prospect of being out here all by herself for the first time since leaving home, Apogee hesitated as her legs grew weak.
But she shook her head with resolve, she wasn’t a foal anymore! She could… she could do this! There was… nothing to be scared of, right?
Slowly, she turned her head, looking over her shoulder, feeling her heart rate steadily increasing.
That… that was just a pile of metal junk and not a monster sitting over there, right?
Right?
The filly swallowed hard, her hooves shaking as she walked, carrying her to the door of the shabby-looking caravan. It was easier to keep track of monsters when she was somewhere inside, right?
A gust of cold wind hit her back fur, and amidst a startled squeak, she picked up the pace, running the remaining distance, tugging open the -thankfully unlocked- caravan door and rushing inside.
Apogee slammed the door shut, breathing heavily as her mind’s eye pictured all the creepy crawlers that had no doubt been giving chase to her moments ago.
Slowly calming down from her sprint, the filly let out a sigh. Turning around, her cautious gaze wandering about the dimly lit insides of the caravan. The lack of interior lighting made it hard to see details, the moonlight shining through the windows being the only reliable source of light.
There was a strong smell of old cigarettes and alcohol in the air. Littering the floor were pieces of laundry, as well as the occasional empty beer can or cigarette butt. Old, shabby-looking furniture lined the walls of the caravan’s kitchen and living room the filly was standing in, and an open door to her left led into a dark side room.
Apogee let out a sigh of relief. With the state of decay things were in, she guessed the caravan served as shelter for the homeless some time ago, but had since been left to rot away. It was… creepy, but if she’d hide under the table until the morning, the monsters couldn’t get to her, right? She’d just have to keep her eyes open and she’d be safe!
Forcing a confident-looking smile onto her face, the filly felt relief wash over her, and turned around to where she expected a potential light switch to be. Granted, if this place ever had any power, it was likely gone by now, but it never hurt to try, right?
Thankfully, a light switch sat on the wall near the door. Apogee rested her hoof on it and was about to try her luck when something next to the switch caught her attention.
A wrecked picture frame was hanging by a rusty, crooked nail. Its wooden frame was splintered, and a crack ran through the glass pane. Behind the yellowed glass was a small piece of paper, torn around the edges and weathered by time.
What was visible on the paper, however, caused the filly’s blood to run cold.
It was a photo. On it was an infant yellow pegasus filly with a disembodied beige hoof wrapped around her midsection. Her turquoise mane was done neatly for the occasion, and her light red eyes shined in the dim light as she gazed back at Apogee with a beaming smile.
That picture…
Apogee’s jaw dropped, her wings spreading out with sheer surprise.
She had seen it before. Heck, she had seen it plenty of times before! Her father used to have it in his wallet up until a few weeks ago, later replaced with a picture of Apogee taken on picture day at school.
But this photo was taken when she'd been a little filly; that was her in the photo! It was the other half of the picture that showed her and Jet standing side-by-side.
But what in the world was a baby photo of her doing in an abandoned-
“Give me one reason not to blow your fucking brains out on the spot!”
Apogee felt her heart stop, her body stiffening abruptly as she heard the voice come from behind her. It was a mare’s voice - rough, raspy, and sounding utterly pissed.
The filly felt herself go pale as the world around her came to a halt. Stiff with shock, she found her right hoof, still sitting on the light switch, drift downward by an inch, flipping it. A single light bulb hanging in the middle of the room struggled to come to life, but lit up just in time for the filly to slowly turn her head, and look at the pony she had disturbed.
In an instant, the photo she'd found underneath her father's bed materialized before her into the form of a mare: the light cyan fur, the blue main and those fiery red eyes. It was her. The mare from the photo… and Apogee could only open her mouth and speak a single, hushed word in her awe.
“Mom?”
“Sweetie, this has been going on for long enough now.” A worried-looking Jet Stream spoke, standing in front of the locked door leading to his daughter’s room. “I know you’re mad at me, and I told you I’m sorry.”
The stallion perked up his ears as his words rang out, waiting for any form of reaction coming from inside.
Nothing.
“Look, we can talk about this,” he said, not entirely sure where he was going with this. “I have a good reason for why it’s a bad idea for you to meet your mother - at least right now. If you wanna come outside, I can explain it all to you.”
Silence.
Jet Stream frowned. What else was he supposed to do? He normally considered himself a skillful negotiator when it comes to stipulating business deals, but… hell, how was he going to get through to this filly if she just completely ignored him? At least his business partners had the courtesy to tell him when they weren’t interested!
Well, if the diplomatic approach didn’t work, perhaps it was time to go into dad-mode. It wasn’t something he had much experience with, but on those few occasions where he'd used his dad-voice, it had made his daughter obey just fine.
He cleared his throat, ready to end this trench warfare once and for all.
“Alright Apogee. I hate to be a killjoy, but you’re leaving me no choice,” he spoke up, ensuring his voice sounded as strict and authorative as possible. “I’m going to count to three, then I want this door opened, or else you’re grounded for a week!” he announced tensely, slowly stomping his hoof as he counted. “One… Two…” he paused, perking up his ears and listening for any noise coming from inside that indicated his daughter was in the process of opening the door.
Still, nothing but dead silence.
“Two and a half…” he said tensely, his eyes narrowing, struggling to fight back his own doubts about this method, “two and three quarters…”
He hushed again, hoping that his daughter would get the notion, but clenching his teeth as she still continued to ignore him.
“Three!” he announced, stomping his hoof again. “Alright missy, you had it coming. You’re grounded for a week! Now come out!”
Silence.
Jet Stream screwed up his face, his eyes widening in anger about his daughter’s defiance. Yes, he might have made a mistake, but why wouldn’t she let him at least explain himself? Did she have to be so unreasonable!?
“Alright, two weeks!” he announced, stomping his hoof a third time. “You’re grounded for two weeks! I hope you’re happy now!”
No reaction.
“Three weeks!” he declared, getting increasingly worked up over the ineffectual impact of his disciplinary warnings. “And I’m going to add one week for every second that goes by until you open this door!”
As yet still no response was forthcoming, Jet gave an uneasy sigh, his ears drooping, but then slowly, hesitantly, began counting. “Three weeks... four weeks... five weeks... six weeks…” he interrupted himself again, second thoughts about giving his daughter such harsh punishments flooding his mind.
But what else was he going to do!? She wouldn’t listen to him offering the carrot, so perhaps it was time for her to get the stick. Did… did that make any sense?
He closed his eyes, letting out a sigh. This filly was driving him insane.
“I… I just want to talk, sweetheart,” he started another attempt at calm logic. “Just… let me explain. … Please.”
He looked back up at the door, straining his ears, hoping for some kind of response; hoping for any kind of reaction from his daughter. Was she really this angry at him? Had he screwed up so badly?
He slumped to the floor and groaned.
“Seven weeks, eight weeks, nine weeks, ten weeks…”
The large-caliber handgun hit the wooden floor with a clatter as Delta Vee stood in her caravan, staring back at the pony she had loved and nursed for the first three years of her life; the pony that had broken into her caravan at the dead of night, waking her up and defrauding her of much-deserved sleep… and the pony she had just threatened to kill with a shot to the head.
“Mom?” the filly asked again. Her light red eyes gleaming in the light, she stared at her mom in surprise. Then her eyes widened with disbelief at what she was seeing. Finally, recognition gave way to a joyous smile and the filly dashed forward, launching herself at her mother and flinging her arms around her neck. “Mom!”
“A… A…” Delta stuttered numbly, blinking as her still half-blind eyes slowly adjusted to the glaring light coming from above.
With her eyesight having gone downhill ever since she shed her glasses four years ago, all she saw standing in the darkness of her living room was a dark silhouette, and all she managed to identify about the intruder was her light yellow fur, and those telltale red eyes. She couldn’t believe what was happening, her mind staggering to comprehend as her mouth slowly worded the only name running through her head, “Apogee?”
“Mom!” the filly squeaked happily, snuggling into her mother’s chest fur as the worries of the world melted away.
“What in the…” Delta struggled to put her thoughts into words, “How… how in the world did you…” she blinked numbly. “Am I dreaming?”
Jet Stream bit his lip as he raised a hoof, knocking against the still locked door of his daughter’s room.
“Sweetie, I…” He hesitantly spoke up, clearing his throat. “I got you some pizza,” he said, gently pushing a plate with the dish towards the door. “The delivery service brought my usual order, but I know you don’t like pineapples, so I plucked them out for you.”
Desperate for a reaction from his sulking daughter, he raised his head and breathlessly glared at the doorknob, hoping to see it twist.
“You… you don’t have to come out if you don’t want to, ” he said meekly. “But I thought you might get hungry.” He nudged the plate a little further towards the door. The slice of pizza, devoid of the pineapples that had made up most of the topping, looked like a trainwreck, but he was sure his daughter would appreciate the gesture.
Well, he hoped she would.
“Just…” he spoke softly, his ears still perked up, clinging to the hope that, any second now, he would hear some sort of noise coming from inside. “I’m… I’m sorry.”
He remained silent as his words rang out, his ears still standing on edge as he sat with rapt attention, before finally they folded back, and he let his head sink with resignation.
Inevitably, his thoughts slowly but surely went back to what was hidden behind a stack of cake pans in the uppermost compartment of his kitchen, right above the refrigerator. A ‘parting gift’, so to speak, from the last time he had seen his ex-marefriend.
Jet Stream swallowed as he pictured the, by now, almost empty bottle of bourbon and the half-full pack of cigarettes lying ready for him.
Truth be told, he had always been against excessive alcohol or smoking. All his life he'd preached about the dangers of drug abuse, and it tore him apart to see his ex-marefriend indulging in it so recklessly all those years ago.
All the same…
When he last saw her, she'd left the bottle standing in his chariot when he'd put her to sleep that night, and he presumed she must've dropped the cigarettes while getting drunk. Initially, he was going to toss them after finding them the next day, but… well.
Unhealthy and dangerous as they were, these two things were among the last pieces of memories he had from the mare he'd once loved, and he couldn’t get himself to toss them into the trash.
But over the years…
Well…
The first time he'd ever smoked a cigarette was the morning after Delta had left - making sure his daughter wouldn’t notice, of course.
He knew about the dangers of smoking. If anything, seeing his ex again confirmed his worries about the safety hazards it came with, but at the time, he didn't care. Not one bit. All he'd needed was something to drown out the piercing agony in his heart. He hated to admit it, but once his daughter was to kindergarten, pouring a glass of bourbon and indulging in the rush of nicotine had managed to numb that pain burning in his chest quite effectively.
Of course, he knew perfectly well that he could never let this become a regular thing. What if Apogee found out? How could he face her? It was already difficult enough facing himself in the mirror, knowing that he'd condemned his ex-marefriend for the very thing he secretly indulged in when no one could see. He couldn't let it take control of him; he wouldn't.
But the secret stockpile of narcotics had noticeably shrunk over the years all the same.
And even now, he could feel it. That certain… dryness in the back of his throat; the temptation to light up a smoke, take a swig of whisky, and just forget about the troubles he was going through with his daughter.
Surely, she would calm down again sooner or later, right? He had done what he could, had apologized for whatever he had done wrong, and even made a peace offer to make sure she wouldn’t go to sleep hungry and angry.
So why wasn’t he feeling any better!? Why was he still feeling like he deserved the award for Worst Dad Ever, and should just stop trying entirely?
What else could he do?
Jet Stream gave a heavy sigh, rubbing his forehead with a hoof. He had known all his life that being a parent (not to mention a good parent) was no walk in the park, but never had he thought it to be this difficult.
“I… I’m sorry, sweetie, I just…” his mouth started another attempt, although his mind didn’t even bother to finish his sentence this time, knowing that he most likely wouldn’t get a response anyway. “I’m sorry.”
“So…” Apogee said, her hooves wrapped firmly around the glass of milk standing on the table in front of her. As she would only find out later, tap water in her mother’s home was not drinkable, and other than milk, she had virtually no non-alcoholic beverages available. “... What… what have you been up to!?” she asked, struggling to arrange the millions of thoughts and questions running through her head into a meaningful conversation.
“W-well…” Delta Vee replied, sitting on the table opposite to her and looking far out of her depth. “I mean, uh… I…”
“Where do you work?” the filly said, carelessly blurting out the first question that came to her mind, “Dad said something about a job at EASA. Is that true?” she asked excitedly, her eyes shining bright in the dim atmosphere of the trailer. “You work for EASA? … You build rockets!?”
Delta felt her ears droop as discomfort gnawed at her. “N-not exactly,” she admitted awkwardly.
‘What the fuck has Jet told this kid!?’ Delta thought. ‘Doesn’t she see that I live on a damn junkyard?’ Swallowing hard, she wondered what the little filly was thinking behind that excited smile of hers.
“Ooooh, so you mean you work for the government?” Apogee put another log on the fire, her excitement unwavering, “So you’re some… top secret rocket engineer, right?”
Delta hesitated to correct her daughter, fumbling an explanation. “I… I’m not… I mean…" In her mind, Delta saw a towering, imposing image of herself, built piece by piece by her daughter's wild expectations. It loomed over her, it's presence casting an impossible shadow, suffocating her – and soon she would have to shatter that image to pieces.
“Waaaait a minute!” Apogee perked up and looked around the room; looked at the state of mess and decay that surrounded them..
Delta closed her eyes, letting out a brief sigh. ‘Alright, here we go. Now she’s found out.’
“You’re not working for anypony!” Apogee pointed out, raising a hoof to underline her statement, and leading her mother to let out a low sigh. “Because you’re doing your own thing out here!” she affirmed wide-eyed.
Delta Vee felt like she'd dodged a bullet somehow. Well, at least she'd found out rather easily, and was taking it lightly.
However, her hope to change the subject away from her failures was cut short as the filly leaned in conspiratorially, her voice dropping to a whisper as she said, “You’re building your own rockets here, right? That’s why you live out in the desert in a messy home. So that nopony discovers your secret.” She leaned back, grinning as she tapped her forehead with a hoof. “You're so smart, mom I knew I was right about you!”
Delta clenched her teeth, swallowing again, her discomfort growing by the second. This… this was going to end in tears, wasn't it?
“So where are all the rockets?” Apogee asked eagerly, jumping up off her chair and looking around the room with excited eyes. “I bet they’re hidden somewhere, right? Can I see one?” she asked with begging eyes. “Pretty please?”
“I, uh…” Delta's struggle to find excuses was coming to an end, and she had nothing to show for it. Only a single, bleak answer remained: the truth. “there’s… there’s no rockets here, kid. No functioning ones, anyway.”
Apogee interrupted her excited search, staring at her mother while looking thoroughly perplexed. “B-but…” she said, tilting her head to the side in confusion, “You’re a rocket engineer, right? I mean, you learned all those things in college… right?”
Delta looked away, uncomfortable as she continued explaining. “W-well, I…”
“I mean, why else would you live in a place like this?” she asked, pointing a hoof at the general mess around the two. “You’re just hiding your super secret rocket-stuffs from those nosey government eyes, right?”
Delta frowned and looked away from her daughter as her ears and head sank. So… this was what her daughter believed she had been doing all these years? This was what Jet Stream had made her believe?
Her body tensed and waves of anger boiled up from within, but she restrained herself with effort. Perhaps this really was the best outcome? Maybe her doofus of an ex-coltfriend had made the right decision for once. After all, crushing the filly’s unrealistic expectations about her intelligent, genius mother with the harsh realities of life might be too heartbreaking for a filly so young.
Slowly, reluctantly, Delta raised her head by an inch, her blue mane partly concealing her eyes as she met her daughter's gaze. She felt her heart sink.
No, she couldn't bear to do that to the kid. Not after everything she'd already been through.
A look of dull realization spread over Apogee’s face as she, for the first time in all her life, saw her mother the way she really was - unkempt, dressed in an oil-stained vest, and smelling of old alcohol, cigarettes, and rocket fuel.
Granted, Delta hadn’t seen her daughter in years, and to say that there was any sort of connection between them would be an overstatement. But the feeling that her daughter was looking into a reflection of herself that never was, and may never be, gave her pause. To shatter that dream, that reflection… to see the shards of that false identity come crashing down, cast into the ground amongst the rubble and junk that surrounded them… how could she do that to Apogee? And moreover, how could she suffer to face that reality herself?
Ears folding back, chest deflating noticeably, Apogee made a face, swallowing.
She looked to the side and the interior of her mother’s sparsely furnished home. “I mean…” she said, forcing her voice to fill the encroaching, awkward silence,. “It’s…” she blinked, her eyes catching sight of a lonely cockroach scattering over the wooden floor, “nice?”
Delta sighed morosely, feeling the gravity of the situation weighing her down. There was no denying the poverty in which she lived. “Save it, kiddo,” she said drably. “I know it’s not the Ritz-Colton, so you don’t have to try and sugarcoat it.”
“I mean, uh…” the filly said, scrambling to find something nice about her mother’s home. Her eyes trailed over an overflowing trash can, a brimful ashtray, and the dozen empty beer cans littering the floor, before her head sank in defeat, “It’s… nice.”
“Aposheee, sweetie…” Jet Stream slurred as he stumbled up the stairs, struggling his way back to her room. He brought the bottle of bourbon he'd been nursing to his thirsty lips and, finding it disappointingly empty, discarded it onto the floor. The maids would take care of it tomorrow; for now, he had more urgent business to take care of.
Stopping in the corridor, Jet adjusted his bleary eyes as he focused his attention to the door in front of him. A paper cut-out in the shape of a rocket was glued to the door, and once he fixed his gaze on it, he smiled warmly. He dearly loved that Apogee took such an interest in the thing which had originally brought him and Delta together. And as his drunken mind wandered to thoughts of his ex, he accidentally collided into the door with a loud thump.
“I’msssssssorry sweetie.” he said as he slumped his body against the door. “I’m… I’m tryin hard to be a good dad,” he assured her through the door, still leaning against it with all of his body. “I swear I am.”
He closed his eyes and perked his ears, once again listening for any kind of noise coming from inside.
“I shoulda told you about your mother,” he admitted, slowly shifting his weight and managing to get himself back to his hooves, staggering clumsily as he went on babbling. “She’s a… a stubborn piece of work, aight? You gotta be careful with her - try to hold her down too much, and she’ll spread her wings and fly away. Like a biiiird.”
As Jet went on rambling through the door he started to lean heavily to his right, only to overcorrect and lean far to the left, swaying back and forth as he spoke. Still hearing no response from inside, he looked down at the untouched plate of pizza that was still sitting on the floor. Bitterness formed a painful lump in his through and he swallowed hard while his mind tried to cut through the fog created by the whiskey.
All his pleading seemed fruitless, yet Jet continued to press on, hoping his words might reach the heart of his daughter. “If you… if you really wanna meet her…” he said, doing his best to bring out a straight sentence. “We’ll… we’ll do that. We’ll… figure out where she lives and visit her, if that’s what you want.”
Again he paused, breathless and anxious, certain he'd hear something from the filly now that he'd succumbed to her will. But when still no reply came, his desperation only grew, and once more he tried to mollify the distressingly silent Apogee. "T-Tomorrow, alright? We'll… we'll head out tomorrow morning, first thing after breakfast. I'll ring up my partners and find out where she lives. Just…" Jet looked at the door, still separating him from his daughter by miles, and felt tears forming in his eyes, "Just come out, okay? Please... I can't stand to have my little filly mad at me!"
Silence.
Jet Stream closed his eyes, letting his head sink, and gave a heavy sigh. Finally, a single tear broke loose, and he felt himself sink back to his haunches, his torso dropping backward and against the door.
A long moment of agonizing quiet passed before Jet spoke again. "Alright," he slurred, letting his head drop back and bang against the door. “I’ll just…” he said as he blinked slowly and deliberately, “Just stay here and…” he swallowed, seeing the alcohol blurring his vision as his eyes slowly drifted shut, “And wait.”
Delta Vee shifted about uncomfortably, her uneasy daze darting about the room: to the broken clock that hung on the nearby wall, to the half-empty can of beer from last night, to any place other than the filly standing before her. Ultimately, her eyes were drawn back toward the young pegasus, unable to avoid the filly's own curious eyes. Even if she wanted to look away, how could she? Delta was curious as well.
She… didn’t really know what to do, though. It had been six years since she had last seen, let alone taken care of her daughter, and even if she had the required facilities at hand, it didn’t seem like Apogee needed a diaper change or a fresh bottle. Indeed, it looked as though she'd long outgrown such things. Where had the time gone?
But more important, what now?
Really, she didn’t know. She had never bothered to read up on how to be a ‘good’ parent, and even if she had, the situation she found herself in was something no book in this world could have prepared her for.
Swallowing nervously and fidgeting with her hooves, Delta looked at the can of beer again, then back at her daughter, whose hoof tapped uneasily against the table where she sat
Delta bit her lip, her mind reeling as she fought to come up with something parental to say. Just as she was about to give up, she looked back to the wall clock and got an idea
“Hey, uh…” she said, breaking the uncomfortable silence that had been building. Apogee idly raised her head and looked at her mother with a look that said she, too, had no real clue how to handle this situation, “s-shouldn’t you be in bed… or something?”
“I’m… not really tired,” Apogee explained briefly, her little hooves ceasing their anxious tapping before continuing after a moment of uneasy silence.
“Yeah, right,” Delta noted briefly with a quick nod of her head. “Of course.”
‘Idiot. Of course she doesn’t want to sleep after all this crap! Do you feel like sleeping?’
Delta lightly shook her head to herself, her restless gaze drifting to the side and coming to rest on her daughter again.
‘God damnit, you’re losing her! Quick, say something funny!’
With growing desperation, Delta quickly searched the room, looking for something she could incorporate into a joke. Foals liked jokes… right?
As her eyes were once again drawn to the can of beer next to her - and not for the first time thinking about how badly she wanted a drink right now - an idea came to her. Leaning over to the filly, she gently nudged her with an elbow, causing her daughter to look up her with tired eyes.
“Hey kid,” Delta said, jokingly wiggling her eyebrows and pointing a hoof at the half-empty beer can. “Wanna get hammered?”
‘There we go. Good work, ground control. That’s got to make her chortle!’
Apogee cocked an eyebrow, looked over at the can, before her gaze drifted back to meet that of her mother, a mixture of confusion and reluctance on her face. “I’m… eight.” she pointed out briefly, insecurely.
“Riiiiiight.” Delta attempted to save the situation with a forced grin, again nudging her daughter with an elbow, “Don’t worry, I was just… just kidding. Don’t drink alcohol. It’s not good for you, and… yeah…”
Delta cut the lecture short, losing herself in muttered concessions as she turned her head away, a surly expression spreading over her face.
‘Idiot! She’s eight! What were you thinking!? Now she thinks you want to drive her to drink!’
Delta sighed uneasily, paying undue attention to the clock and the beer can in another attempt to escape the immeasurable awkwardness filling the room.
‘Quick, think of something else to say! Something smart! Something funny! You’ve seen all those other moms do it! That’s… that’s what moms do, right? They find out the right thing to say and cheer up their kids. So come on! Cheer your kid up!’
Decisively, Delta opened her mouth, drawing in a long breath.
Apogee raised her head, looking at her with a semi-expectant gaze.
“Uhhhhhhhhh…”
‘Way to go, fucktard. Now she thinks you’re stupid.’
Delta closed her mouth, defeated. Her thoughts raced to find anything to say, but as she was about to open her mouth and give parenting another chance, she was beaten to the punch by her daughter, who straightened herself up to speak.
“Mom?” she asked softly.
Delta couldn’t contain the slightest of shudders from running down her spine. Being called mom... was something she was going to have to get used to, for sure.
But she shook her head, not wanting to seem too dim-witted in front of her daughter. “Y-yes… sweetheart?” she asked, raising her brow anxiously.
‘Sweetheart? Is that the right thing to call your daughter? Isn’t that something you’d use for your partner, or-’
However, her inner monologue was cut short as her daughter, after a brief moment of hesitation, licked her lips, and asked just about the last question Delta wanted to be asked right now.
“Why did you leave dad and me?”
Delta drew a sharp breath, her heart skipping a beat. This… was not something she was prepared to deal with at 11 o'clock. And yet, she'd been subconsciously dreading the question all along - it was only a matter of time before the filly would ask about the break up. The oppressive weight of the question had been hanging over the two with a crushing inevitability.
And yet, Delta didn’t see herself capable of giving her daughter a proper response. It wasn’t that she didn’t know why she had left Jet and, to an extent, Apogee all these years ago; by all means, she knew the reasons for that perfectly well. Only that… well…
‘Your father and I would have made for a great couple if he’d given me some more space, and let me do the one goddamn thing I’ve always dreamt of, instead of shooting my plans down and strapping me down with a foal to take care of.’ The full, honest answer echoed in Delta’s mind, leading her to swallow uncomfortably. ‘Yes, that foal was you. Yes, you are the reason why I never managed to fulfill my dreams, and why I’m now living on a junkyard. You were the bullet your father shot at my hopes and dreams, and boy, did he hit the bullseye.’
The older mare remained silent as Apogee's pleading eyes burned for answers. As she stared into the filly's eyes, the sound of her own thoughts echoed bitterly within her mind. Her heart sank.
‘Yeah. Go ahead and tell that to your daughter. You won’t have to worry about her wanting to know you, let alone think about you, ever again.’
Delta pondered these thoughts at length, looking at the opposite wall of her caravan with a thousand-yard-stare.
“Mom?” Apogee inquired after a while, leaning towards her mother and looking at her with clear concern in her eyes.
“It’s… complicated,” Delta explained absentmindedly, then shook her head, breaking out of her trance and trying to meet her daughter’s gaze with empathy and compassion. “Your… your father and me had a lot of differences, and at some point it just… didn’t work anymore.”
Apogee considered her mother's words, tilting her head to the side and looking unconvinced. “…that’s all?” she asked.
“That’s how it happened,” Delta insisted, reinforcing her decision not to tell her eight year old daughter how Jet, her own father, had single-handedly ruined her life in a single night.
“B-but…” Apogee probed, doubtlessly unsatisfied with that explanation, “I… I don't understand-”
Apogee's words tapered off into a series of half-hearted mutters, and ended with a frustrated sigh. “Nevermind,” she said morosely, crossing her arms. “You won't tell me anyway.”
Delta opened her mouth, wanting to protest, but cut herself off. Apogee was right - she wasn’t going to tell her, albeit not for the reasons she seemed to think. The real reasons were far, far worse.
With her irritation rising, Apogee rolled her eyes and pouted. "You're just stubborn, and snooty, and… and you just treat me like a little foal!" Her pout turned to a scowl. "You're just like dad."
Again, Delta took a deep breath and prepared to defend herself, but balked over that last part. Feeling a seething pond of magma boiling in her gut, she tensed up and closed her eyes. “What…” she breathed softly, her voice tense, “What did you just say?”
‘Settle down, DV! She didn’t mean it that way, for sure! She’s… she’s just a foal!’
Apogee turned her head to look back at her mother, standing up to her red-eyed stare. “I said…” she began, crossing her arms in defiance again.
‘I don't want to ruin this, but she's got such a fucking mouth on her!'
“You’re. Like. Dad!” the words dripped from her daughter’s mouth, perfectly imitating a bratty teenager, despite her tender age. “You know, he always-”
“Don’t.” Delta cut her off, feeling her teeth clench as the magma slowly made its way to the surface. Like a volcano, Delta was ready to erupt as she arose from the bench seat, planting herself in front of the filly, her wings spreading out. “Don’t you ever… everdare compare me to that deceitful, worthless, betraying piece of shit you call your father!” It burst out of Delta, her voice now having reached thunderous levels of volume. “I’m nothing like him, and I never will be! So don’t fucking think you can compare me to that worthless waste of space ever again!”
The silence that followed was a welcome respite as Delta’s harsh assertions settled into the room; total, absolute, definite silence. Breathing heavily, calming slowly, Delta gradually caught her breath, realizing only now that, during her outburst, she had brought herself into a fully upright position, leaning over her daughter like a predator about to strike.
Realizing what she'd done, and feeling the ground pulled from beneath her hooves, Delta slowly lowered her head, looking down at her daughter.
The filly, eyes still wide with primal shock, stared back up at her mother. As she recovered from her stunned silence, her face turned red, contorting into a grimace, and Delta was brought back to the early years of being a stay-at-home mom as her ears were met with the still all too familiar sound of a wailing foal.
Jumping up off the bench seat, her eyes tearing up and flooding her face, Apogee dashed towards the door amidst hefty sobbing. Before Delta could react in the slightest, she was already out the door, and it was back to the solemn isolation of the night to which she'd grown accustomed.
Slowly and gradually, Delta sank back onto the seat, her wings folding as every emotion, long buried and suppressed, rose to the surface within her. Feeling all too powerless in the face of her turmoil, Delta collapsed onto the table in a heap.
“Way to go, Vee,” she said softly to herself morosely. “Way to go.”
Minutes later, Apogee was sitting on the ground in front of her mother’s caravan. The sound of hooves pacing up and down, accompanied by muffled, but continuous swearing that had filled out the caravan after she had left had since died down, and it was back to the nightly ambience of the Las Pegasus desert.
Apogee… didn’t really know what to do; how to feel, or anything else. She'd never really been yelled at before, and especially considering who had yelled at her, she felt all the more miserable.
Mom was stupid! What gave Delta the right to yell at her anyway? She'd just said what was on her mind, and if Delta had taken it the wrong way… well, she still shouldn’t yell at her like that! Apogee didn’t like being yelled at! And… and she had said a lot of mean things about her dad! Sure, he wasn’t perfect, but who did this mare think she was for insulting him like that!?
The filly gave a huff, looking up at the clear, starry sky. If it weren’t for the fact that her wings were still throbbing from the marathon of flying it took to get here, she’d be on her way back to her father by now - at least he didn’t yell at her!
The more she thought about it, Apogee began to wonder if that mare even was her mother. After everything her father had said, Delta Vee really didn’t seem like the pony that would settle for a life like… like this!
She entertained the possibility for a while as she sat on the ground and rested. Though, no matter how she tried to justify her suspicions, she couldn't convince herself of it - the way she had looked at Apogee earlier; the way she spoke… or heck, those eyes, that looked almost exactly like her own… there was no denying that this mare was indeed her mother, whether either of them liked it or not.
And yet, she wondered if ignorance would've been bliss after all.
However, her thoughts were interrupted as, after a long period of silence, the caravan door slowly got opened, and walking out in a haze of blue smoke came none other than the landowner herself.
Delta Vee remained standing in the open door, her gaze lingering on the picture of misery that was her daughter who was still sitting on her front porch.
The uncomfortable silence threatened to return, and Delta dispelled it with a flustered sigh.
“I’m… sorry, kid,” the older mare finally managed, stepping outside and nudging the door shut with a back hoof. “I… kinda snapped back there.”
Apogee huffed stubbornly, turning her head away.
“You probably don’t see your father the way I do, so…” Delta said, hesitating as she chose her words carefully. With a shake of her head she cleared her thoughts and continued, “I mean, you probably think differently about him than I do. You… probably like him,” she forced out, that particular word seeming to bring her physical discomfort. “And… I shouldn’t have called him those things,” she admitted, lowering her head as she stopped next to her daughter.
Seeing the young filly with her head turned away made Delta question if the kid even wanted to see her right now. With a pressing resolve, she forced herself to sit next to the child and ignore her discomfort of the situation. This was for Apogee's sake, not just her own. And making that difficult choice, to cast aside her own ego for the sake of her daughter, was perhaps the first truly parental thing she'd done since reuniting with her. There was only one thing to be said, and Delta knew she must say it.
“I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”
“You don’t say,” her daughter retorted grumpily.
It was difficult to keep swallowing her pride, but Delta endured. “Look, I’m… really not good at this parenting-thing, alright?” Delta explained, leaning towards the filly. “You’re basically the only foal I’ve ever seen up close, and I haven’t seen you in…” she paused, looking the filly over, astonished by how much she had grown; yet somehow, she seemed exactly like the tiny filly she'd left all those years ago. Fragile, small, emotional and stubborn. But also beautiful and wonderful in a way Delta barely comprehended. “In forever, really.”
“You could have just said you don’t like dad.” Apogee said bitterly. “He told me that you two don’t get along well, you know.”
Delta nodded somberly. “I figured…”
She weighed her next words after a moment of contemplative quiet. “Look kid,” she said, putting a wing on Apogee’s back and making the filly turn towards her with an annoyed look. “I’m sorry. I really am,” she said, the honesty in her voice ringing true. “I really wasn’t expecting to see you again, and…” she hesitated, searching for what she hoped were the right words, “I… I really can’t describe how glad I am to see you again. It’s just that…”
She fell silent, leading Apogee to tilt her head to the side with a questioning look, the anger finally vanishing from her face.
“You know, hearing about all those great things you were thinking of me, and then looking back at what my life really looks like, it’s just…” A willowy murmur left her lips as she rubbed the side of her head. .
Slowly, she surveyed the piles of junk lying about and gave a brief, bitter laugh. “Do you ever just… feel like staring into the sun until you go blind, so you won’t see the pile of shit your life has turned into?”
Apogee stared up at her, looking thunderstruck and flabbergasted.
Upon seeing this, Delta gave a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry. I… I’ll shut up now.”
The muted expression of shock gradually left the filly's face, leaving her looking tired and worn. “I’m… sorry, mom,” Apogee said awkwardly, inching closer towards her mother and snuggling up against her as best as she could. She… didn’t really know what else to do or say. But feeling this close to her mother after all these years, she felt a strange sort of comfort in it, awkward as it was.
“It’s alright,” Delta said a little bitterly in spite of herself. “Not your fault my life’s a fucking mess.”
The return of the silence seemed almost inevitable after Delta left the conversation on such a sour note. Neither mare knew what to say, until Apogee took a brief sniff from her mother’s chest fur, and made a face.
“You smell funny.”
“I had a… cigarette in there before coming out here,” Delta explained a bit hesitantly. “Maybe two.”
Apogee straightened herself up, looking at her mother with concern. “Dad always says smoking kills ponies.”
That earned a smirk and a wry chuckle from Delta. “Sure does, kid,” she agreed with a careless shrug. “But hey, we’re all gonna kick the bucket one day. No harm in accelerating the process and ending that piece of shit we call a life a bit sooner, right?”
Apogee felt her heart skip a beat as she fretted over her mother's fatalism, then scrunched up her face and turned her head away. “Why… why are you so negative, mom?”
The seemingly endless spring of bitterness clung to Delta's heart as she considered the countless, exhaustive list of genuinely valid reasons (at least in her own mind) that explained her negativity. Before she could shove that bitter pill down her daughter's throat, the look of sincere worry on the filly's face made her reconsider. For as narcissistic as she could be, she found it quite difficult to willfully do anything that might hurt her daughter's feelings.
Sighing, her wing still around her daughter’s torso, Delta lowered her head and closed her eyes.
“It’s not easy facing up when your whole goddamn world is black, kid,” she pointed out, keeping her head low. “My life will never be as ‘awesome’ as you might have pictured it - that’s just the way it is. Things suck, and they always will.”
Ears drooping as her head sank down, Apogee sighed heavily - a sound which felt wrong coming from such a young and vibrant filly - as she sat in silence next to her downcast mother.
This oppressive silence continued for almost a minute before an idea came to the filly, rousing her from the depression that was trying to drag her down.
“Mom…” she said, her voice brimming with renewed hope as her face lit up.
The older mare somehow found the strength to lift her head, looking over at her daughter with a raised eyebrow.
“Miss… Miss Velvet, my nanny…” Apogee began explaining a bit awkwardly, “She told me a story about her foalhood. About her mother; how her house burned down… and she lost everything she owned.”
“Hrm,” Delta replied, struggling to overcome her own melancholy. “Been there, done that.”
“But sill…” the filly added, “Miss Velvet said her mother kept going, and kept her head up through it all. No matter how bad things might have seemed for her, she kept her chin up, and made the best of it.”
Delta sneered, then grumbled a reply, “Kids’ stories these days. All sunshine and rainbows.”
“You know why?” Apogee said, turning her head and looking at her mother. Delta raised her head, and the two locked eyes as the filly said, “Because she had her buck by her side through it all.”
Delta seemed more than a little skeptical.
“Miss Velvet told us that, no matter how hard things will get, it will all be fine, as long as you have somepony who loves you.”
As her daughter's words sank in, Delta mulled them over, looking for more excuses to remain resentful. But as she picked over the words in her mind, she began to understand that none of it really mattered. It was sappy, trite, meaningless platitudes… but it wasn't what was being said that mattered: only whom was saying it. This little filly cared about her - for some bizarre reason that Delta could only imagine - and that realization made her feel a hint of shame for her behavior.
Delta's ears folded down as she hung her head, though somewhere in the back of her mind she felt better - or at least, less awful than before.
But...
Save for the occasional one-night-stand, who stayed for a few hours of raunchy sex before taking off again, ‘Me, myself and I’ summed up her life quite nicely. She lived her pathetic little life in her pathetic little junkyard - nothing more, nothing less.
However, before the dark clouds of familiar sorrows could drown her again, Delta felt the touch of some long-forgotten joy breaking through them; the touch of her daughter's small hoof against her own. Delta turned to face her once again, finding her light-red eyes and meeting them with her own as a faint smile touched her lips.
The young filly leaned against her and smiled her bright, luminous smile. Then, as her daughter snuggled up against her, she spoke four little words that filled Delta's cold, bitter heart with a newfound warmth and reassurance she had all but lost… until now.
"I love you, mom."
Delta sat stiff, her body laden with emotions long forgotten and freshly rekindled. She stared forward, past her daughter, without seeing, now only feeling. Fresh tears formed in her eyes as her heart swelled.
She… she didn't know if Apogee was simply paying her lip service, or if she meant every word. Was she only saying it to make her feel better, or was she truly so genuine and pure? Delta didn't know, and in fact, she didn't want to question it either. To doubt, to think or to judge would only taint the beauty of her daughter's unconditional love; for now, she wished only to submit to it. She just wanted to be… happy.
Closing her eyes, feeling the touch of Apogee's fur against hers which pulled at her deepest heartstrings, she only nodded without a word, softly rubbing her head against that of her daughter's.
“T-thanks sweetheart,” she said softly, her body shivering as Apogee pressed ever closer against her, taking shelter in her body heat to ward off the cold night air. She enjoyed the feel of her daughter against her, such intimacy that she hadn't felt in years.
Swallowing hard, Delta struggled with the words she knew she must speak. Not from a sense of obligation, but in contradiction her own embittered nature. Three words which her daughter had waited years to hear, long overdue… and more honest than any she'd said tonight. And perhaps, more true than any she'd spoken before in all her life.
“I… I love you too.”
