Salt and Mangoes

by locke_jaw

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character
Length: 2528

Two friends spend a Saturday afternoon bantering about how to properly eat something.

Lei was enjoying his Saturday afternoon eating something he bought from a limited sale in Sweet Apple Acres when Lengthy Speeches sprung out of nowhere and sat beside him. Knowing Lengthy, wherever she goes, unnecessary debates follow.

Published 2018-04-12 04:20:06 UTC
Last updated 2018-04-12 04:20:06 UTC

It rubs the condiment on its skin...

An average Saturday afternoon in Ponyville was always a peaceful sight. The sky was slowly turning from its usual blue hue into a lazy shade of yellow. It’s a clear sign indicating that the afternoon will eventually turn into night. Ponies in the town were up and around the park, enjoying the view of the setting sun. One pony however, was sitting on a bench in the far side of the park, enjoying a delicacy he procured from the most unlikely of places.

Lei leaned his back on the bench, his hoof resting on the bench’s back while the other was digging into a jar, reaching for a slice of peeled green mango drenched in vinegar, soy sauce, and a dash of salt. The buttery colored fur on his hoof took an even darker shade as he dipped it in the sour and salty mixture. He didn’t care though, the rich taste of the sliced mangoes were more than enough to make up for it.

Once he grabbed a slice, he slowly placed a piece of fruit in his mouth without looking. He chewed slowly, savoring every bit of flavor the single mango slice has to offer. He did this with every slice in the jar without looking. He’s not really focusing on anything at all; his half-closed eyes just stared at nowhere.

Cool breeze ruffled his scraggly green mane. Each strand danced and swayed as the wind grazed his head, like grass in the plains. It also brushed at his sauce soaked hoof and felt a slight chill as it did so. Lei liked the chilly sensation. He lifted his head slightly and let out a long, relaxed sigh. This is a good day, he thought.

“Mango in soy and vinegar, huh?” A familiar voice said. It was coming from behind the bench. Lei didn’t even bother looking; he already knew who it was.

“Hey Lengthy.” Greeted Lei.

“Lei.” Lengthy greeted back. Her voice sounded firm and sharp, a sheer contrast from what she looked like.

Lengthy Speeches came out from behind the bench. Her pink mane covering her horn as it swayed slightly from the breeze. Her fur was a lighter shade of pink, she looked like Pinkie Pie if Pinkie would cut her hair short and donned an angry looking face all the time. A pair of cat-eye glasses perched on her snout. She sat beside him on the bench, her pink eyes focusing on the jar filled with mangoes and sauce.

Lei noticed on how Lengthy stared at the jar of mangoes, a mischievous smile glazed his face.

“I got it at Sweet Apple Acres. Two bits a jar. I was surprised that they sold anything other than apples, but I was more surprised that they only sold it for two bits.” Lei said, sucking the sauce off his hooves. “Now that I think about it, mangoes do taste like apples when they’re still green. But then again, two bits.” Lei shrugged, popping another slice.

Lengthy looked at Lei and cringed at the way he eats the piece of fruit.

“Ungh! How can you stand eating something like that? All soaked up in soy and vinegar.”

“Don’t forget the salt.” Lei replied quickly. “It’s nothing without the salt.”

“I’m fine with salt and salt alone, but why do you have to mix it with those two other condiments?It loses its crunch! Now it’s slippery and squishy!” Lengthy shuddered and waved her hooves slightly in disgust.

Lei raised a brow. “What’s wrong with slippery? I for one prefer it slick and rich with flavor. And you can also drink the condiments after eating the mangoes as a bonus.” He then proceeded to grab another slice and ate it slowly.

Lengthy stared intently at Lei’s mouth chewing at the single piece of fruit, and bit her lip. “Well…I think-” Lengthy paused, eyes still staring at Lei. She took a deep gulp before continuing. “Your preference is stupid. Adding vinegar on a sour mango defeats the purpose of eating it in the first place. We eat it because it’s sour. We eat it because it’s crunchy. And putting vinegar on it totally destroys the reasons on why we’re eating it! And not to mention the soy sauce.”

Lei realized where this was going and decided to stop it before it escalates into something bigger. He held both of his hooves up as a gesture to cease Speeches’ speech before it becomes into an all out rant.

“Whoa simmer down there girl.” Lei said while pushing his hooves forwards and backwards repeatedly. “I just want to spend the rest of my Saturday satiating myself with this delicacy I bought, not spark a debate against your unorthodox tastes.”

“Simmer? Satiating? Unorthodox?” Lengthy asked in a mocking manner. “Those are expensive words you got there Lei. Careful now, you might fry your brain.” She ended her line with a smug grin.

Lei didn’t say anything to counter her insult, but instead eats another slice, much to her annoyance.

“Stop that.” Lengthy growled. “You’re not eating it right. At least dab a bit of salt in it or something.”

“Sorry. It’s dissolved in the soy and vinegar now.” Lei replied in a whiny tone that is sure to annoy her.

Lengthy leaned at the bench in frustration, groaning slightly while looking at Lei.

“You’re not making this easy, Lei.” Lengthy said as her horn glowed. Then all of a sudden, a small magical explosion erupted above the two. As wisps of magic faded in the air, two objects can be seen floating above the two ponies. One is a pack of salt while the other one is a bottle filled with brown liquid along with peppers and other unidentified spices.

Lei eyed the bottle curiously, pointing a hoof at it.

“What’s that?”

“It’s salt and my special sauce.”

“What’s in the sauce?”

“Everything needed to make a sauce.”

Lei stared at her flatly. “Be specific.”

“I’m going to level with you, I don’t really know.” Lengthy confessed. “I got it from the South Eastern towns of Equestria, locals call it ‘Cinnamuck’ or something. All I know is that it has fermented vinegar and small crushed peppers inside it, and also the best sour and spicy flavor you’ll ever taste!”

Lei’s ears perked up upon hearing the last line. He quickly grabbed another piece of fruit in the jar and pointed it at Lengthy. “Really? Let me have a dip.”

Lengthy levitated the bottle away from Lei, much to his disappointment. “No, my bottle my rules. You’re not going to get a single drop if you won’t do as I tell you. Now dog, yield.”

Lei rolled his eye at her demand, but gave in anyway. “Fine.” Lei sighed. “I’ll follow your rules. But calling me a dog is going too far.”

Lengthy levitated the bottle near her chest, hugging it as if she was carrying a foal. She gave Lei a mischievous look and tapped the body of the bottle twice, clinking with every tap.

“Fine, fine.” Said Lei, finally giving in.

“This better be worth it.” He muttered under his breath.

Now that she got Lei to agree, she placed the bottle on the bench between them. Lei wasted no time grabbing the bottle and opened its lid. As the cap was removed, a sharp, tangy smell wafted the air around them. The scent smells sour mixed with a hint of spiciness. The scent is strong, but in a good way. Lei could feel his mouth water as the sauce’s aroma filled his nostrils. He was about to pour the sauce on the slice he was holding when Lengthy stopped her.

“No.” Lengthy said, her voice calm yet demanding. “That’s not how you use the sauce.”

Her horn glowed once more and a magical explosion similar to the one before erupted above them. As the wisps disappeared a small white bowl can be seen floating in the air.

“You’ve got to put salt in it first.” She corrected him. She grabbed the pack of salt and used her teeth to tear a hole in the corner of the pack. The plastic stretched a bit before it was completely ripped off. Small granules of salt came out from the small opening. Lengthy looked at the side of the bench and spat the small piece of plastic away, then licked her lips as bits and pieces of salt got into her mouth.

She placed the bowl on her lap, and poured a good helping of salt in it. Using her magic, she lifted the bottle off of Lei’s grasp. She directed the bottle’s neck at the edge of the round container, its contents flowing down the bowl. “The sauce comes second.” Lengthy said, while continuing to pour the brown liquid in the container.

Lei stared at the sauce with fascination. “Nice.” He complimented while focusing on the bowl, the brown liquid flooding the salt that was placed there earlier. When Lengthy stopped pouring the sauce in the bowl, he took it as a cue to dip his mango in. “Now let’s have a tas-”

Lei had to stop himself when Lengthy poured another helpful of salt in the bowl. Not even when the sauce was now overwhelmed with the salt she still didn’t stop pouring it.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, that’s enough.” Lei called her out. “I think you’re being excessive.”

Lengthy ignored Lei and continued pouring down the salt in the dish. She only stopped pouring when the briny crystals filled the bowl halfway. Lei frowned at the sight; he can no longer see the sauce anymore.

“If you consume that much salt on a daily basis, you’d be part salt by now. Oh wait.” Lei teased, shooting a Lengthy a sly grin.

Lengthy shot him back with a firm stare. “If you’re done poking fun at my demeanor, take a look at the bowl.”

Lei did as he was told and looked at the bowl. Lengthy began shaking the dish gently, as if she was sifting sand. To Lei’s surprise, the salt crystals that were once white were slowly taking a darker shade of brown.

“You can see that the salt has absorbed the vinegar,” Lengthy explained, still shaking the bowl. “turning the crystals brown while removing all moisture from the bowl.”

Lengthy ceased her shaking and placed the bowl on the bench between them. “That way, you can still retain the sauce’s sour and spicy flavor without sacrificing the mango’s crunchiness.”

She then took a look at the piece of mango that Lei was holding. “Unfortunately, with your mango’s current state, you can’t properly enjoy the sour and spicy crunchiness that I originally envisioned.”

Lengthy placed a foreleg at the back of the bench and rested her head on her hoof. She looked at Lei and waved her other hoof in a patronizing manner. “But you’re still welcome to take a plunge, or whatever. I don’t care, I’m cool that way.”

Lei snickered at her last line and dipped the slice into the bowl.

Now that Lei has dipped his fruit in the sauce, Lengthy cast aside the high and mighty pose and sprung back to her original sitting position. She had to see his reaction upon tasting the dip.

“Make sure to cover the whole slice with salt, like rolling onion rings in a plate filled with breadcrumbs.” She added.

Lei gave her a questioning look. “Don’t you think that’s a little unhealthy? What about my-”

“Just drink plenty of water later and you’ll be fine.” She interjected.

Lei looked back at the bowl and decided to follow Lengthy’s instructions. With his hoof, he covered the mango slice thoroughly with salt, not leaving any gaps. After he’s certain that the slice is fully covered with salt, he lifted the mango to his snout. He took a quick whiff before taking a bite, a variety of scents filled the insides of his nose. He shrugged and took a small bite of the salt crusted fruit.

The amazing taste of the fruit mixed with the dip hit Lei like an ocean wave on a rocky shore. Lei’s half-closed eyes went wide. He wasn’t expecting this to be this delectable. He finished the slice he was holding and swooped in for another one, repeating the same process and shoved the whole piece in his mouth.

As he chewed his fruit, Lei hummed to himself in pleasure. “Goddesses, this is good.”

“Told ya.” Lengthy said, assuming her high and mighty pose once more. Oh how she loved to rub it in Lei’s face. Whose taste is unorthodox now? She thought.

Lei was now swimming in culinary pleasure that he didn’t notice Lengthy’s last comment. He just continued to stuff his face with the salt covered delicacy.

Lengthy continued to stare at Lei as he filled every space in his cheeks with the salted fruit. She was so mesmerized with each bitten slice of mango that she didn’t notice herself to be drooling. Lei on the other hand, was fully aware of his friend’s secret craving.

“Want some?” He offered. His voice sounding muffled due to all the mango slices crammed inside his mouth.

Lengthy snapped from her trance. He immediately looked away from Lei to avoid him seeing her blush. “N-no thanks, I’m fine.” She pretended to be calm, but her stuttering voice betrayed her.

Lei raised a brow in disbelief. A small smile slowly etched his face, he know that what he’s going to say next was guaranteed to hit her where it hurts.

“Come on.” He began, his tone inviting. “I know you want one.”

“I saw you at the acres earlier.” Lengthy’s ears perked up as she heard those words. Lei’s smile grew even wilder. This is so easy.

“You look like you’re almost gonna cry when you didn’t get a jar. I don’t think that’s fine at all.”

Lengthy suddenly turned around. Even with her pink fur, Lei can still tell that she was blushing, blushing profusely.

“Alright!” Lengthy cried out, declaring her defeat. “I’m getting a slice. Geez, you don’t have to rub it in.”

Lei shrugged. “You could’ve just asked.”

Lengthy glared at him. “I’m way above begging.” She then took a bite of the salted mango. Once the flavor has kicked in her taste buds, Lengthy let out a ‘squee’ that Lei could only describe as adorable.

Thinking that one was just not enough, Lengthy now used both of her hooves to grab the mango slices in the jar. Once they were wrapped in a thick coating of salt, she quickly shoved them in her cheeks. She continued to do so until she looked like a chipmunk with its cheeks full of nuts, but instead of nuts her cheeks were filled to the brim with green mangoes.

Lei ceased his eating to enjoy the view of his friend stuffing her face with salted mangoes.

“What happened to the ‘I hate squishy mangoes’ part?” He asked playfully.

Lengthy gave him another glare, but it’s hard to look intimidating when your cheeks were filled with sour fruit.

“Oh thuth uhp.”