Make it Until You Fake it
It was times like this when Rarity wished that they hadn't sealed the mirror pool. Another one of her would have easily solved her dilemma. As it was, she had a disaster on her hooves. She was due to present at the Canterlot Royal Fashion show in a matter of hours, and something was just not right with her signature piece. She was confident that she could create something fabulous, but that would take time and resources. Fortunately, her assistants from the Manehattan store were perfect for the task at hoof. Unfortunately, taking them away would leave her store closed for the crucial first days of the new fashion season. It should have been trivial for her to find somepony to step in for a day or so, but, so far, everypony she could trust was unavailable.
Rainbow Dash had been her first choice. Despite her brash demeanor, the pegasus was surprisingly good at taking care of customers, and having an active Wonderbolt representing her store, albeit out of uniform, would have been sure to bring in the more casual shoppers. Being an active Wonderbolt, however, came with obligations. As fate would have it, there was a show scheduled that clashed with the needed time frame.
Her next choice had been Pinkie Pie. That mare could easily handle a crowded shop, and she seemed to have a knack of knowing what anypony would like. Pie season, however, had quashed that plan. Only Pinkie knew the recipe to a truly great and tasty throwing pie, and the pie orders were piling up. This had immediately brought a pun to mind when she was told, but Rarity was much too much of a lady to give it voice.
For the remainder of the morning, Rarity had appealed to several other ponies, only to find that they all had other responsibilities which conflicted with her request. Well, she assumed that Big Mac had other responsibilities. All she had gotten from him was a “Nope”. Which, truthfully, was standard, so there were no hard feelings there. Her next option lay off the beaten track, specifically a clubhouse on the edge of the Apples' farm. If she were lucky, she’d get three for the price of one. She’d just have to pitch it in the proper manner.
After ascending a wooden ramp, Rarity brushed some imaginary dust off her withers before knocking on the door.
“Coming!” she heard her sister call out before the door knob was engulfed by green magic, allowing her entry.
“Rarity!” Sweetie Belle called out, echoed by her two best friends. “What brings you out here?”
Putting on her best smile, Rarity entered the domain of the crusaders and said, “I come bearing responsibility. I figured it was time to give you three the opportunity to acquire some real-life business experience.”
“Really?” Apple Bloom trotted over to stand on Sweetie’s left side as Scootaloo chose to stand on her right. “Whatcha have in mind?”
“I find that I am in desperate need of staff for my Manehattan branch. The upcoming and eminent Canterlot Royal Fashion Show has forced my hoof and I require my regular staff’s assistance for the preparations. If you wouldn’t mind, I would be most appreciative if you three would consent to holding down the fort, so to speak.”
“Really?” Scootaloo said. “When?”
“We would leave for Manehattan immediately,” Rarity said.
The three fillies shared a glance with each other before turning to the older pony and shaking their heads.
“I’m sorry Rarity,” Sweetie said. “We have plans.”
“Oh, I see.” Rarity said. In most realities this was where she turned, said her goodbyes and left. However, the multiverse is huge beyond description, and in one of these realities she added, “I suppose leaving you three alone in the big city for a couple of days, wouldn’t have been the wisest of plans, anyway.”
“Wait!” Scootaloo piped up. “You want us to pony your store all by ourselves?”
“That was the idea,” Rarity admitted.
“Just a sec.” Apple Bloom said and pulled the other two crusaders close for a huddle. The three fillies sat on their haunches, threw their forelegs around each other’s shoulders and started whispering. At one point, Sweetie Belle raised her head to look at Rarity, before lowering it and returning to the private conversation.
Before long, they broke apart and stood before Rarity once more. “We’ll do it,” Apple Bloom announced.
The door to the shop opened, admitting Rarity followed closely by the three crusaders.
“Welcome to Rarity for You” Rarity said gesturing grandly with one forehoof.
“Wow!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed, her eyes glittering and wide, “It’s so . . . so . . .”
“Froufrou,” Scootaloo finished for her.
“I was going to say wonderful.” Sweetie laid back her ears.
Rarity gave Scootaloo a look before saying, “I’m afraid I don’t have much time, so let me give you the express walkthrough. The store is divided into sections.” She pointed to each in turn as she named them, “Chic. Classic. Modern. Sophisticated. Avant-garde. Traditional. And Obtuse.” Seeing the looks on the fillies at her description, she asked, “Do you understand?”
The girls shared worried glances before Scootaloo stepped forward and said, “I got this.” She then pointed at each section in the same manner as Rarity and said, “Froufrou, Froufrou. Froufrou. Froufrou. Froufrou. Froufrou. And let’s not forget the froufrou.”
Narrowing her eyes, Rarity glared at Scootaloo while Apple Bloom whispered to Sweetie Belle, “Ah gotta admit, that’s better than Ah would have done.”
“Yes, well,” Rarity huffed, “the next thing to remember is that each section is further organized by season color and price; it’s a classic SCP system.”
“So, what systems do you use for the other sections?” Sweetie Belle inquired.
“What?” Rarity asked, focusing on the smaller unicorn.
“If you use the SCP system for the classic section, what do you use for the others?” Sweetie tried again.
“That’s actually a good question.” Scootaloo pondered, rubbing her chin with a hoof.
“No, no,” Rarity said, “I meant classic in the sense of serving as a standard, model or guide in regard to the system. Not classic as in of enduring interest, quality, or style, which refers to the section.”
“That thar sure explains a lot,” Apple Bloom said.
“I’m so glad I could clarify,” Rarity said with a smile
“Now we know where Sweetie Belle got her habit of quoting the dictionary,” Apple Bloom finished.
“Oooo kaaay,” Rarity said. “Anyway, the important thing to remember is that here at Rarity for You, the real focus is on the customer.”
“I don’t see any customers,” Scootaloo observed.
“Wait a sec, Ah’ll get one,” Apple Bloom said and ran out the door, slamming it on her way out.
“She’s not going to . . .” Rarity said, staring after her.
The door abruptly reopened and Apple Bloom returned carrying a wide-eyed dark yellow earth pony with a magenta mane. “Here ya go,” Apple Bloom said, placing her shocked passenger on the ground. “Our first customer.”
“She did,” Rarity said, once again narrowing her eyes.
“Welcome to Rarity fo Ya’ll.” Apple Bloom enthusiastically shook the hoof of the new comer, “Let me help ya pick something out.”
The earth pony snatched her hoof back and hauntedly said, “I’ve heard of curb side service, but that was ridiculous.”
“We aim ta please,” Apple Bloom said with a gargantuan grin.
The earth pony looked at the filly and tried to judge if she was being sincere, then with a huff said, “I need something classic but modern, something with drama but also understated.”
“Um,” Scootaloo said as she watched, “I may be hanging around Sweetie too much, but isn’t that an oxen moron?”
“No, silly,” Sweetie said. “Oxymorons are figures of speech in which apparently contradictory terms appear in conjunction. What she’s doing is asking for mutually exclusive concepts to somehow be incorporated into a singular outfit.”
“You just had to show up Rarity, didn’t you?” Scootaloo asked as she watched Apple Bloom hunt through the closest clothes rack.
"It’s a sad joy,” Sweetie Belle admitted.
“Found one!” Apple Bloom called out, removing a dress from the rack. “This should do ya.”
The earth pony took the offered dress and studied it, “This dress . . .” She started turning her gaze toward Apple Bloom. The filly was looking back with her eyes as wide as they would go and her lower lip quivering. “. . . is exactly what I was looking for. Are you a fashion psychic?”
“Ah’m glad ah could be of service.” Apple Bloom beamed. “Let me ring ya up.”
Soon the customer was leaving, after Rarity had demonstrated how to work the register and package the purchases. After the door closed behind the mare, Rarity turned to Apple Bloom and demanded, “What have you been told about weaponizing cuteness?”
“Don’t use it to sell apples or apple products,” Apple Bloom responded.
“Expand that to include dresses.” Rarity sighed.
“Okay,” Apple Bloom agreed.
It was at that point, Rarity’s three assistants trotted out of the backroom, “We need to leave now if we are going to catch the train to Canterlot.”
“Oh goodness, look at the time.” Rarity pulled out a watch to check. “Yes, yes, yes, go! I’m right behind you.”
The three fillies watched as Rarity ran around gathering her necessities. “Remember girls, I believe you can do this. Please take good care of my business, but have fun doing it. Bye now.” With those words she rushed out of the shop.
“Well, that just happened.” Scootaloo commented in the wake of the one-pony tornado.
"Yea, We're on our own now." Sweetie said, heading toward the back. “I’m going to see if there are any snacks.”
“See if’n there are any apples,” Apple Bloom instructed as her friend pushed aside the curtain separating the two rooms
“Okay,” Sweetie yelled back, “I’ll cheeEEEEEEEEEEEEK!”
*Thump!* *Thump!* *Squeeeeee!* *Thump* *Crash!* *Wham* *Squeeee!*
“We should probably go see what that’s all about,” Scootaloo sighed, making her way towards the back.
*Crash!*
“Rarity’s not even out the door for a full minute an’ we’ve already had our first incident,” Apple Bloom muttered, following close behind.
They didn’t get half way to their destination before the curtain was thrown aside and Sweetie’s frowning form came into view. “You’ll never guess what I found in the back,” she said.
“I’m guessing it wasn’t apples,” Apple Bloom replied.
“No.” Sweetie used her magic to yank her discovery into view. “Raccoons.” Sure enough, she had three, wrapped in ribbons, floating upside down in her magic. “They were just sitting in the workshop, as pretty as you please, just like they owned the place.”
Suddenly, the door to the shop opened and Rarity put in another appearance, “One more thing,” she called out, “I need to introduce you to Smoky and his family. They serve tea and help with the customers. Oh, never mind, I see you have already met. I’ve got to run now, tata!” And just like, that she was gone again.
The three fillies stared at the door, shared glances with each other before turning to regard the floating raccoons.
“Smoky?” Sweetie asked in a meek voice.
The largest raccoon nodded its head, despite being upside down.
“Right,” Sweetie said, unwrapping the ribbons and lowering the poor critters. “Sorry about that.”
“Nothing says ‘Fluttershy was here’ quiet like having woodland creatures as regular employees,” Scootaloo commented, still eyeing Smoky and his family. “She didn’t even tell us the names of the other two.”
“We’ll make due.” Apple Bloom said as the door chime announced another customer.
“I got this one!” Sweetie declared and hurried away from the scene of the crime. “Welcome to Rarity for You,” she said, looking up to the stallion examining the sleeve of an outfit on a rack. “May I help you?”
The stallion upturned his nose slightly at the question and asked, “What’s the thread count of this shirt? I can’t be seen in anything less than a thousand.”
“I’m not sure what the exact thread count on this outfit is.” Sweetie admitted, “But Rarity only allows the finest materials in her shops, why the ribbons I have right here more than surpass your requirement.”
The stallion looked at the hovering ribbons and sniffed, “I can hardly go around dressed in ribbons.”
“Sure, you can.” Sweetie hopped excitedly, “Just watch.” With those words, the floating ribbons descended upon the wary stallion.
Ten minutes later the same stallion was seen leaving the boutique wearing his new purchase. It was daring yet conservative, eye catching yet tame, a bold new fashion of which he was the first patron. It was well worth the three hundred bits he had just invested into his new look, and the thread count practically sang for all to see. He would be the talk of the town!
“Did y'all just sell three rolls of 10-bit ribbons for three hundred bits?” Apple Bloom asked in awe after the door had closed.
“No.” Sweetie said, “I only used about half of each roll.”
“How is that not illegal?” Apple Bloom asked, looking at the half empty rolls.
“They're not just paying for materials; they're paying for art,” Sweetie said. “It’s high fashion.”
“Ah guess it’s al’ right then.” Apple Bloom conceded, “As long as it’s fashion and al’ that.”
“How long do you think it will take for him to realize he left without the outfit he came in?” Scootaloo asked pointing at a bundle of clothes behind the counter.
“About that.” Apple Bloom said, “How did you manage to get that off him without him noticing?”
“Please,” Sweetie said with a dismissive wave of her hoof, “it’s not like I don’t have an older sister named Rarity, or anything. I’ve picked up a trick or two from watching her.” The clothing glowed green as the unicorn neatly folded it and placed it on a shelf.
“On second thought,” Apple Bloom said, “Ah don’t wanna know.”
After the initial novelty wore off, the Crusaders fell into the routine of helping customers. They soon observed that as long as you sounded confident, a sale was almost guaranteed. It was so easy that Apple Bloom was beginning to wonder if the Manehattanites had interbreed with sheep at some point in the recent past.
Not that it didn’t take some ingenuity and imagination, in some cases. Take the mare who had wanted something shiny. Scootaloo had convinced her that what she wanted was something sharp instead. The snooty mare had left with a couple of safety pins inserted in her ears with distressed monogram tags, beaming in pride the entire time.
Finding that she was enjoying herself, Apple Bloom homed in on her next target, “Hello and welcome to Rarity fo Ya’ll.” She beamed a bright smile, “What kin Ah be doing for ya?”
The stallion, who had been examining a clothes rack, turned toward her and gloomily said, “This store is a desperate wasteland of nothingness. Do you have anything in black?”
Apple Bloom sat back on her haunches and echoed, “Wasteland?”
“Yes, it is a testament to the disposable nature of reality, it screams out the ultimate fate of everypony is to rot in a hole. Do you have anything in black?”
“Disposable?” Apple Bloom tilted her head in confusion.
“Yes,” the stallion sounded even gloomier than before, “Is it not our burden to know that fundamentally everything we do amounts to nothing. An existence best expressed with the finality of black, hopefully accented by satin.”
“Right, Ah think Ah kin help Ya.” Apple Bloom said before calling over her shoulder, “Scootaloo, go get me a garbage bag!”
“Okay!”
“An’ make sure it’s black. Some cotton lining and some satin belts as well, also black!” Apple Bloom continued.
“You intrigue me.” The stallion said in a monotone, looking down at the filly.
Sweetie flipped the sign to closed and locked the front door. “Lunch time!” she happily cried, trotting up to the counter, “And we should probably move some of these bits out of the register, into the back room. It’s getting kind of full.”
“Does your sister have a safe back there or anything?” Scootaloo asked opening the register, “I mean this doesn’t seem like nearly enough storage space.”
Sweetie shrugged, “Your guess is as good as mine. Just remember to take enough so that we can get lunch from the diner down the street.”
“Ah’m on it.” Apple Bloom called out, “What do y'all want.?”
At this request, the tea serving raccoons in formal wear started chittering excitedly.
“Grilled cheese with tomato soup and apple pie for all then.” Apple Bloom agreed.
The raccoons stopped chittering, dejectedly looked at Apple Bloom then shrugged.
“I don’t think that’s what they want.” Scootaloo observed.
“Do ya speak raccoon?” Apple Bloom questioned.
“No.”
“Then I repeat, grilled cheese with tomato soup fer all.”
“I’d prefer a nice salad.” Sweetie said, stuffing bits into a sack.
“I’m thinking hayburger and fries myself.” Scootaloo said helping Sweetie.
The raccoons chittered their suggestion. Going so far as miming bringing something to their mouths and chewing.
“Ah’m right awful at charades.” Apple Bloom said, heading for the door, “an’ lunch is only an hour. Chitter once for grilled cheese, twice for salad, an’ three times for hayburger.”
Each raccoon chittered once.
“Ah rest mah case.” Apple Bloom said and left.
The afternoon brought more customers, more bits and a few surprises.
“Sweetie.” Scootaloo called out, “I need a high quality tapered special over here.”
“Coming,” Sweetie returned, floating a dozen spools of ribbons. Rubbing her chin, she looked at the mare Scootaloo had been helping and commented, “I’m going to need more pink.”
“Can you two handle this by yourselves for a while?” Scootaloo asked, after the hoof off, "I need to run to the hardware store, I’m almost out of pins and tags.”
“Pick up some more garbage bags while yer at it.” Apple Bloom said from where she had a line of darker colored ponies waiting for her attentions.
Smokey and his family chittered their input.
“An’ we’re running low on tea,” Apple Bloom translated.
Before too long, the work day came to an end and the fillies closed the boutique.
“Well, that didn’t go too badly,” Scootaloo said as she tried to maneuver a bag of bits larger than herself, “We just have to make it through tomorrow with no incidents and we're in the clear.”
“I still can’t believe your dressing ponies in garbage bags,” Sweetie Belle piped up, emptying the register into yet another bag.
“Ya’ll be quiet, Miss Ribbon Menace.” Apple Bloom countered.
“At least the ribbons are high quality,” Sweetie snapped back. “You get what, five hundred bags for a bit?”
Scootaloo snickered even as the bag she was working on spilled half its contents onto the floor.
“And your one to talk.” Sweetie said, turning to the pegasus, “All you do is take a couple pins out of a box, pound out a couple of tags, put them in a mare’s ears and say, ‘that’ll be fifty bits please.’”
“It’s high fashion,” Scootaloo acknowledged as she began to gather the loose bits, “You said so yourself. Besides, I’m starting to get the hang of all this frou-frou business.”
“You dressed a stallion in a green dress.” Apple Bloom accused.
“He seemed to like it.” Scootaloo defended, “He bought it didn’t he?”
“Even ah kin tell you that it clashed horribly with his coat.” Apple Bloom said.
“See my previous statement,” Scootaloo said. “I count it as a win.”
“You know what,” Sweetie said, still emptying the register, “crime to fashion or not, I think he looked cute.”
“Wait a sec,” Apple Bloom said moving to help Scootaloo. “Where does Rarity stay when she’s in Manehattan? There’s not an apartment over the store or anything like that.”
Sweetie stopped to think about it for a second. ‘I have no idea.”
“Well,” Scootaloo said, still rounding up bits, “We’ll just have to get a hotel room.”
“Ah hear that can be mighty expensive here.” Apple Bloom said, “Still that would be better than camping out in the back. Being that thars no shower and it’s getting a might cluttered from all the bags o' bits.”
“I’m sure Rarity won’t mind if we get a cheap room.” Sweetie said, “Let’s finish cleaning up and then we’ll go find a place to stay.”
An hour later the fillies were filing out of a cab in front of a disrespectful looking building.
“Ah think you over emphasized the whole cheap part.” Apple Bloom said, holding the door open so her friends could enter the lobby of an older hotel.
“This is cheap even by Ponyville standards,” Scootaloo said pointing toward a board with price listings.
“Yeah,” Sweetie grimaced as her hooves stuck to the floor with every step, “I’m sure we could spend more without Rarity getting upset.”
“It’s not that bad,” Scootaloo said still studying the board, “and it would only be for a night.”
Sweetie suddenly jumped on Apple Blooms back with a squeak.
“What’s yer problem?” Apple Bloom asked looking up at her.
“Bug!” Sweetie squealed, pointing a hoof at a corner.
“Quit channeling Rarity.” Scootaloo huffed, “You’ve seen tons of bugs back in Ponyville, all the time.”
“But that one was a COCKROACH!” Sweetie exclaimed, not getting down off Apple Bloom.
“Right,” Apple Bloom said making for the door. “Back in the cab. Ah just remembered that my Auntie Orange lives in this town an’ I’m sure she’ll put us up fer the night.”
“That’s a plan.” Scootaloo said, following, “But I do have one question.”
“What’s that?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Why would anypony want to rent a room by the hour?” Scootaloo glanced back at the price listing.
